BANCROFT 
LIBRARY 

o 

THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 


Earhrl  Will)  9*trraan 


OR,    SEEKING    DIAMONDS    IN    THE   ROUGH 

BY 

RACHEL  WILD  PETERSON 

HER  EXPERIENCES  IN  THE 
SLUMS  OF  DENVER 


DENVER,   COLORADO 

THE   REED   PUBLISHING    COMPANY 
1905 


Copyright,  1905, 
By  RACHEL    WILD   PETERSON 


PRESS    or 


Library 


BIOGRAPHICAL     NOTE 


[Extract  from  The  Norton  (Kansas)  Champion,  April  5,  1894.} 

Miss  RACHEL  WILD  now  resides  at  3519  Lafayette  street,  Denver, 
Colorado,  and  is  a  leading  missionary.  The  following  is 
from  a  letter  from  her: 

"I  am  of  French  and  English  descent;  was  born  at  Woodbine, 
Harrison  county,  Iowa,  February  28,  1860.  My  father  followed 
farming,  but  when  President  Lincoln  called  for  volunteers  to  defend 
the  Union,  in  1862,  he  enlisted,  and  did  his  part  in  putting  down  the 
great  rebellion.,  After  the  war  was  ended,  father  returned  home, 
and  shortly  afterward  disposed  of  his  farm,  moving  to  Kansas  in 
the  spring  of  1866.  Being  so  young  (only  6  years  of  age),  my 
memory  of  the  war  is  limited,  but  I  remember  how  glad  we  were 
to  welcome  father  home  after  his  service  to  his  country. 

"We  journeyed  from  Iowa  to  Kansas  in  a  prairie  schooner,  and 
at  this  time  the  latter  state  was  a  typical  frontier  state,  having  all 
the  customs  of  a  crude,  primitive  country.  We  had  no  county 
lines  and  few  county  seats.  We  located  in  what  was  afterward 
called  Lincoln  county,  on  a  stream  that  father  named  Spring  creek, 
and  on  this  little  stream  we  took  up  a  homestead  April  3,  1866. 

"During  my  girlhood  days  I  remember  of  our  entertaining  the 
county  surveyors,  or  those  who  were  laying  out  the  county  lines. 
How  different  Kansas  was  then!  The  Indian  whoop  was  to  be 
heard  and  the  buffalo,  elk  and  antelope  roamed  the  plains.  We 
had  no  railroads  nearer  than  eighty  miles,  and  the  nearest  town, 
Salina,  was  thirty  miles  away. 

"I  have  a  vivid  recollection  of  the  Indian  outbreaks,  when  the 
scouts  would  come  in  with  timely  warning,  and  we  would  have  to 
seek  some  place  of  safety,  usually  the  town  of  Salina,  a  place  of 
perhaps  a  dozen  houses.  Our  own  house  was  fortified  by  a  strong, 
high  board  fence,  with  portholes  for  defense  against  the  savage, 
and  during  the  frequent  Indian  scares  the  neighbors  gathered  at 
our  primitive  fort  for  mutual  protection  against  our  copper-colored 
enemies.  During  their  frequent  attacks  we  and  our  neighbors  would 
take  turns  watching  the  foe.  I  can  remember  the  shrieks  of  the 
wolves  and  other  wild  animals. 

"Not  long  after  this  we  moved  over  to  Dewdrop  creek,  a  stream 
my  father  also  named,  and  about  this  time  my  twin  brother,  not 


IV  BIOGRAPHICAL     NOTE 

i 

being  able  to  bear  the  hard  work  of  a  newly  settled  farm,  went  to 
Steubenville,  Ohio,  to  attend  school.  My  older  brothers  having  all 
left  home,  it  devolved  upon  me,  a  lo-year-old  girl,  to  take  charge  of 
the  farm  and  become  transformed  into  a  farmer's  boy.  My  father 
had  become  a  victim  of  the  diamond  fever  and  started  for  South 
Africa,  but  he  never  reached  there,  having  been  robbed  and  obliged 
to  return  on  a  homeward-bound  vessel. 

"My  duties  on  the  farm  were  various — milking,  cutting  and 
shocking  wheat,  breaking  horses  for  harness  and  saddle,  plowing, 
cleaning  stables  and  herding  cattle  the  same  as  a  cowboy.  Neighbors 
often  hired  me  to  herd  their  cattle  at  one  dollar  ,a  head.  I  had 
over  one  hundred  under  my  care  besides  our  own.  I  have  been  in  the 
saddle  in  rain  and  sunshine,  in  heat  and  cold,  until  my  hands  were 
blistered  and  I  had  sores  on  my  body  therefrom.  This  was  a  daily 
experience  for  nearly  four  years,  when  an  accident  occurred.  One 
Sunday  evening  in  April,  1873,.  while  hunting  cattle,  a  horse  fell  upon 
me  and  fractured  my  limb.  After  laying  in  the  mud  two  hours  I 
was  taken  home-  and  from  6  p.  m.  till  i  a.  m.,  I  lay  suffering.  On 
the  arrival  of  the  doctor  he  set  my  limb,  but  through  ignorance  or 
carelessness  it  was  improperly  done  and  left  me  a  cripple  for  life. 

"In  the  month  of  June  in  this  year  I  left  home;  being  now  a 
cripple,  I  could  not  take  the  place  of  a  man  on  the  farm,  and  my 
father  being  disappointed  in  me  caused  me  to  leave  home  an  out- 
cast, for  no  reason  except  that  I  was  born  a  girl.  This  summer 
I  herded  cattle  for  Ed  Johnson  at  $15  a  month,  with  my  crutches 
at  my  saddle-side,  my  crippled  leg  resting  on  a  pillow.  I  followed 
this  until  cold  weather  set  in.  I  was  inexperienced  in  domestic 
work  and  as  simple  as  a  child.  I  spent  the  winter  with  the  family 
of  Volney  Ball;  in  the  spring" I  went  to  my  oldest  brother's,  nine 
miles  from  home,  and  there  I  met  the  Rev.  Mr.  Seymour  and  his 
wife,  who  promised  to  give  me  a  home  for  my  labor,  but  not  by 
adoption. 

"In  the  spring  of  1874  we  moved  to  Norton  Center  and  I 
remained  in  this  place  two  years.  I  left  Mrs.  Seymour  because 
at  my  age,  16,  I  could  do  better  for  myself  than  earn  my  board  and 
clothes.  After  leaving  them  I  secured  a  position  at  the  Commercial 
Hotel  as  a  waitress  at  a  salary  of  $15  per  month.  Norton  Center 
consisted  of  two  hotels,  one  livery  stable,  one  drug  and  general  store, 
and  a  blacksmith  shop.  A  county  seat  war  was  on  during  this 
time,  and  they  built  a  court  house  and  jail.  Before  this  the  jail  " 
was  a  room  connected  with  the  Commercial  Hotel.  In  going  to 
and  from  the  hotel  kitchen  we  passed  the  door  of  the  prison  room, 
and  could  see  the  prisoners  chained  to  the  floor,  partly  covered  with 
blankets,  which  was  not  a  very  pleasant  sight  for  timid  people,  but 


BIOGRAPHICAL     NOTE  V 

in  those  days  of  Kansas  history,  one  soon  overcame  their  timidity. 
Mr.  Possom,  the  proprietor  of  the  hotel,  was  the  sheriff. 

"During  my  first  year  at  Norton  there  was  a  grasshopper  plague, 
which  became  so  unbearable  as  to  necessitate  building  a  fire  in  the 
yard  to  keep  the  pests  out  of  the  house.  We  also  had  an  Indian  out- 
break in  the  county  west  of  Norton,  where  several  white  people 
were  killed. 

"At  last,  tiring  of  "Norton.  I  journeyed  to  Hastings,  Nebraska, 
and  soon  found  employment  in  my  old  position  as  waitress  in  the 
Commercial  House.  I  can  remember  the  advent  of  the  first  railroad 
into  Hastings  and  the  great  excitement  it  caused.  I  remained  there 
nearly  two  years,  but  hearing  a  good  deal  about  Denver,  I  deter- 
mined to  go  there.  This  was  also  a  trip  across  the  country  in  a 
wagon-  We  arrived  in  Denver  in  the  latter  part  of  July,  1880.  We 
found  the  Colorado  metropolis  to  be  a  primitive  and  thinly  populated 
town.  We  camped  near  the  union  depot  on  the  banks  of  the  Platte 
river.  I  went  to  work  in  'the  American  restaurant  on  the  corner  of 
Sixteenth  and  Blake  streets  I  only  remained  here  a  short  time 
and  then  went  to  the  Goodwin  House,  which  was  owned  by  a 
friend  from  Hastings.  Here  I  met  Mr.  Walter  Peterson,  and  was  mar- 
ried to  him  September  13,  1880.  I  then  started  a  hotel  for  myself, 
calling  it  the  'Railroad  House.'  I  selected  this  name  because  nearly  all 
my  guests  were  railroad  men,  having  one  hundred  and  fifty  who 
were  connected  in  some  capacity  with  the  railroads  centering  in 
Denver.  After-  being  in  business  about  four  years,  I  sold  out  and 
bought  a  home,  and  shortly  afterward,  on  Thursday  morning, 
November  20,  1884,  in  rny  own  home,  I  was  converted.  One  year 
later  my  little  girl  was  born.  In  1887  the,  Master  distinctly  called 
me  to  His  work  and  I  entered  the  field  as  a  worker  in  the  blessed 
vineyard  of  the  Lord.  As  an  instrument  in  His  hand  I  have  had 
hundreds  of  conversions.  I  have  held  gospel  meetings  in  jails  and 
hospitals,  missions  and  on  street  corners,  as  well  as  in  most  of  the 
leading  churches  of  the  city.  I  could  fill  volumes  with  the  glorious 
experiences  I  have  had  in  this  line,  and  some  day  I  will  do  so.  I 
can  hardly  realize  the  goodness  of  God  in  leading  the  way  for  me, 
a  child  caring  for  the  stock  on  a  Kansas  farm,  to  go  out  into  the 
by-ways  and  preach  His  gospel  to  all  the  people." 


AUTHOR'S  NOTE 

The  title  for  this  book  came  to  me  twelve  years  ago  in 
the  following  letter: 

3687 

5Ftrst  Nattmtai  Sattk 

Norton,  Kansas.  December  8,  1893. 
Mrs.  Rachel  Peterson,  Denver,  Colo.: 

DEAR  MADAM: — I  have  just  learned  through  Judge 
Louis  K.  Pratt  that  you  are  our  long-lost  Rachel  Wild. 
A  great  many  people  here  remember  you  kindly;  and  as 
I  am  writing  a  history  of  Norton  county,  I  wish  you 
would  write  me  a  biography  of  yourself  for  publication; 
tell  me  when  you  came  to  Norton  county,  where  from 
and  who  with;  whether  you  were  adopted  by  Seymour, 
and  when;  how  long  you  lived  here;  how  you  came  to 
leave,  and  where  you  went  and  where  you  ihave  lived 
since;  tell  all  about  your  family.  Please  to  make  it  as 
complete  as  you  .can ;  also  give  place  and  date  of  birth  and 
everything  you  may  think  of  that  would  be  of  interest  to 
the  people  of  Norton  county. 

Very  respectfully,  F.  M.  LOCKARD. 


PROEM 

Through  suffering  the  Son  of  God  learned  obedience. 
Suffering  has  made  me  obedient  to  God.  Gentleness,  says 
one,  has  made  me  great.  Some  seek  greatness  at  the 
cannon's  mouth.  The  fierce  warrior  has  gained  a  world- 
wide reputation  through  love  for  his  country.  David's 
love  of  God  made  him  great  in  overcoming  his  enemy. 
The  greatest  forces,  gravitation,  sunshine,  etc.,  are  the 
gentlest.  How  gentle  is  the  mother  with  her  child  1  Yet 
there  is  something  greater,  even,  than  a  mother's  love  or 
a  'mother's  gentleness.  The  love  of  God  shed  abroad  in 
the  heart  by  the  Holy  Ghost,  is  greater  than  a  mother's 
love,  or  a  wife's  love,  or  even  a  husband's  love.  God 
compares  the  love  of  a  husband  to  Christ's  love  for  the 
church.  The  love  of  God  enables  everyone,  young  and 
old,  rich  and  poor,  the  one  with  the  one  talent  and  the 
one  with  the  ten  talents,  to  endure  hardships,  the  hardest 
things,  to  bear  the  heaviest  burdens,  calamities,  affliction, 
strife,  insults,  wrongs.  One  who  has  been  made  great  by 
God's  love  is  greatest  of  all,  is  the  one  fit  to  possess  the 
earth,  is  the  one  who  is  strongest  in  soul,  heart  and  will, 
and  capable  of  serving  others.  Such  an  one  will  not  only 
bear  his  own  burden  of  pain  and  care  cheerfully,  but  will 
take  up  the  burdens  of  others  who  have  no  helper.  They 
must  have  reservoirs  of  strength — must  be  related  to  the 
Almighty — must  be  able  to  draw  upon  the  Great  Power 
of  the  Universe  at  will. 


CONTENTS 
CHAPTER    I 15 

Childhood. — Pioneer  Life  in  Kansas. — Herds  of  Buffalo. — 
Indian  Uprisings. 

CHAPTER  II 22 

Herding  Cattle. — Pursued  by  Wolves. — Grasshopper  Plague. — 
Chills  and  Fever. — Crippled  for  Life. 

CHAPTER  III 34 

Leaving  Home. — Employed  as  a  Farm  Hand,  Domestic,  and 
Waiter  in  Hotel. 

CHAPTER  IV 38 

Migration  to  Denver  in  Covered  Wagon. — Worked  in  Restau- 
rant and  Hotel. — Married  to  Walter  Peterson. — Dreaming 
of  Heaven  and  a  Catholic  Sister. 

CHAPTER    V 45 

My  Conversion  and  Early  Christian  Experience. — Jealousy. — 
How  to  Receive  the  Spirit. 

CHARTER   VI 63 

Consecration  to  the  Lord's  Service. — Beginning  Work  in 
the  Slums. 

CHAPTER   VII : 7i 

The  Uprooting  of  the  Adam  Nature. 

CHAPTER   VIII 74 

Overcoming  Divers  Sins  and  Temptations. — Leader  of  the 
Workers'  Band. — Prayer  Meetings  in  Jails  and  Hospitals. 

CHAPTER   IX 87 

Incidents  in  the  Work  Among  the  Vile  and  Lowly. — The  Sad 
Story  of  Mollie  Hill. 

CHAPTER    X 105 

The  Kind  of  Lives  Husbands  and  Wives  'Should  Lead. 
CHAPTER   XI 124 

Comforting  the  Sick  and  Destitute. — Newspaper  Account  of 
the  Work  of  the  Tabernacle. 

CHAPTER  XII 131 

The  Friendly  Shelter. — Personal  Love  for  Sinners  the  Main 
Force  in  Winning  Souls  to  Repentance. 

CHAPTER   XIII 163 

Leaving  the  Tabernacle  and  Joining  the  Haymarket  Mission. — 
Visit  to  My  Childhood  Home. — Experiences  in  Healing. 

CHAPTER  XIV 174 

Wickedness   of   Spiritual   Pride. — Sin  of  Tale-bearing. 


X  CONTENTS 

CHAPTER   XV 188 

What  I  Owe  to  God. — The  Law  of  Tithing. 

CHAPTER  XVI 193 

Haymarket   Bulletin. — A  Three- Years'   Report   of   My   Work. 

CHAPTER  XVII 197 

Story  of  the  Gospel  Wagon. — Holding  Street  Meetings. — 
Healings. — Christian  Science. 

CHAPTER  XVIII 212 

Home  for  Fallen  Women. — Meetings  in  Mining  Camps. — 
Life  of  Sacrifice  and  Economy. 

CHAPTER   XIX 230 

Revival  Meetings  in  the  Mountains. — Death  of  Brother 
Ketchum. — Purification  Through  Suffering. — Drowning 
the  Gospel  Wagon. — Natural  Love  and  Spiritual  Love. — 
Fallen  Men  and  Women. — Sanctification. 

CHAPTER  XX 287 

Difficulties  of  Living  a  Consecrated  Life. — Misjudged  and 
Persecuted. 

CHAPTER  XXI 308 

Forgiving  Our  Enemies. — The  Evil  Tongue. — Catholic 
Workers. — Hypocrisy. — "Deciding  the  Church  Trial." 

CHAPTER    XXII 339 

The  Non-Sectarian  Pilgrim  Tent-Workers. — Consolation  De- 
rived from  the  Study  of  God's  Word  in  Times  of  Trial. 

CHAPTER  XXIII. 351 

The  Tongue  to  be  Bridled. — Rejoining  the  Tabernacle. — 
Temperance. — Prevalence  of  Crime. — Giving  to  the  Poor. 
— The  Good  and  the  Bad  Woman. — The  Bad  Man. — Fire 
of  the  Holy  Ghost. 

CHAPTER   XXIV. 407 

The    Old    Man    and   the   New    Man. 

CHAPTER   XXV 416 

Judge  Not  by  Appearances. — Rachel's  Infirmities. — Paul's 
Infirmities. — Sayings  of  the  Truth. 

CHAPTER  XXVI 431 

Deep   Soul-Love  Required  in  Married  Life. 

CHAPTER   XXVII 444 

Words  to  Young  People  on  Pleasures. — Cleanliness  Next  to 
Godliness. 

CHAPTER   XXVIII 446 

Conclusion. 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

PAGE 

RACHEL  WILD   PETERSON Frontispiece 

DICK   AND    CHARLIE 16 

DOCTOR  JOHN 24 

THE  AUTHOR  LEAVING  THE  OLD  HOMESTEAD 32 

YESTERDAY    32 

TO-DAY 32 

BURNING  THE   CARDS 48 

"I'LL  SMOTHER  BETWEEN  THESE  TICKS" 65 

THE  WOMAN  WHOM  I  HID  FROM  HER  DRUNKEN  HUSBAND 65 

MAKING  HER  WAY  TO  THE  BED-CHAMBER  AT  THE  MID-NIGHT 

HOUR    , 88 

SOME  ANONYMOUS  LETTERS  I  HAVE  KNOWN 176 

WATCHING  THE  BURGLAR  AT  His  WORK 184 

"STOP,  SIR  !    THIS  WILL  NEVER  Do" 200 

THE  RETURN  OF  THE  MISSIONARY  PARTY 232 

DECIDING  THE  CHURCH  TRIAL 328 

TRYING  TO  ESCAPE  THROUGH  THE  TRANSOM 44° 

WEIGHED  IN  THE  BALANCES 448 


THE  LONG -LOST  RACHEL  WILD 

Or,  Seeking  Diamonds 
in  the  Rough 


CHAPTER  I. 

I  AM  of  French  and  English  descent,  and  was  born  in  Woodbine, 
Harrison  county,  la.,  February  28,  1860.  My  father  followed 
farming,  but  in  1862,  when  President  Lincoln  called  for  volun- 
teers to  defend  the  Union,  he  enlisted  and  did  his  part  in  putting 
down  the  great  rebellion.  I  was  in  my  third  year,  and  although 
so  young,  I  can  remember  tj^e  evening  when  two  gentlemen  drove 
up  in  a  carriage,  dressed  in  officer's  uniform.  I  will  never  forget 
when  they  drove  away  through  the  blinding  rain.  The  home  was 
sad  that  night.  My  heart  was  almost  broken.  I  thought  we  would 
never  see  father  again.  I  have  learned  by  experience  we  older 
ones  and  parents  overlook  the  grief  of  the  little  ones.  You  may  know 
my  heart  was  almost  broken  when  I  can  remember  so  well  the  even- 
ing he  bade  us  good-by.  God  help  us  to  remember  the  little  sad 
hearts  around  our  knees.  I  can  look  back  now  and  see  that  the 
older  ones  of  the  family  did  not  realize  how  sad  was  my  heart. 
One  would  not  think  at  my  age  that  I  could  understand,  but  I  did. 
During  the  time  father  was  away  I  only  remember  going  to 
school  a  few  months.  Before  we  left  Iowa  I  can  remember  seeing 
the  tame  Indians  come  to  a  lake  near  our  house  to  swim — and 
what  a  sight  it  was  to  watch  the  little  Indians  learn  to  swim ! 
One  night  after  father  had  left  there  came  up  an  awful  storm 
and  it  blew  the  door  open.  I  thought  how  nice  it  would  be  if 
father  were  only  there  to  hold  the  door  shut.  I  was  almost  fright- 
ened to  death  at  the  lightning  and  wind.  This  is  all  I  can  remem- 
ber until  one  day  between  sundown  and  dark  we  saw  father  com- 
ing up  the  road  in  blue  clothes  with  brass  buttons,  carrying  a  gun 
over  his  shoulder.  I  can  remember  so  well  how  glad  we  were  to 
welcome  father  home  after  his  service  to  his  country.  Shortly 
after  his  return  home  he  disposed  of  his  farm  and  a  small  brick 
yard  in  which  I  did  my  first  work.  I  can  remember  straddling  the 
long  rows  of  brick  and  turning  them  over  to  dry,  and  how  my 
back  would  ache.  I  thought  I  was  so  big  and  smart.  Father  would 
tell  me  that  I  could  do  more  than  my  twin  brother  could  'do.  How 
father  would  smile,  and  the  good  it  did  me  for  him  to  brag  on  me ! 
Do  not  forget  to  tell  your  children  of  their  goodness,  and  speak 
as  little  of  their  faults  as  you  can.  Do  all  you  can  to  encourage 
them.  It  does  so  little  good  to  always  be  telling  them  of  their  faults. 
In  1865  we  moved  to  Kansas.  We  journeyed  from  Iowa  to 
Kansas  in  a  covered  wagon.  There  were  father  and  mother,  James 
and  Marion,  Mary  and 'Ellen,  Charlie  and  John  and  myself.  My 


1 6  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

mother  was  the  mother  of  thirteen  children.  One  was  born  after 
we  moved  to  Kansas  and  five  died,  two  passing  away  in  Ohio  and 
three  in  Illinois.  Their  names  were  Lucy,  Sarah  and  Grant,  and 
two  were  not  named.  Kansas  was  at  that  time  a  typical  frontier 
state,  having  all  the  customs  and  traits  of  a  crude  primitive  country, 
had  no  county  lines  and  few  county  seats.  We  settled  in  what 
was  afterwards  called  Lincoln  county,  on  Spring  Creek.  If  I 
remember  rightly,  father  named  this  creek;  and  on  this  stream 
we  took  up  a  homestead,  April  3,  1866.  During  my  childhood 
days  I  remember  of  our  entertaining  the  county  surveyors,  or  those 
who  were  laying  out  the  county  line..  How  different  Kansas  was 
then!  The  Indian  war-whoop  could  be  heard  and  the  buffalo,  elk 
and  antelope  roamed  the  plains.  We  had  no  railroads,  and  the  near- 
est town,  Salina,  was  thirty  miles  away,  and  the  railroad  about 
eighty  miles.  I  have  a  vivid  recollection  of  the  Indian  outbreaks 
and  how  the  scouts  would  come  in  with  their  timely  warnings,  and 
we  would  have  to  seek  some  place  of  safety,  usually  the  town  of 
Salina,  this  being  a  place  of  perhaps  a  dozen  houses.  As  the  years 
went  by  families;  one  by  one,  came  until  father  thought  it  safe 
to  make  our  own  home  a  place  of  mutual  protection  against  our 
copper-colored  enemies.  They  built  a  high  board  fence,  with  port- 
holes, against  the  savage.  During  the  frequent  Indian  scares  the 
neighbors  would  gather  at  our  primitive  fort.  Those  times  I  can 
remember  the  shrieks  of  the  wolves  and  wild  animals.  During 
the  frequent  attacks  of  the  enemy  we  and  our  neighbors  would 
take  turns,  night  after  night,  watching  against  the  foe.  I  would 
like  to  tell  you,  dear  reader,  a  few  stories  that  I  can  remember  as 
a  child.  In  those  three  and  a  half  years  we  left  our  home  a 
number  of  times.  Once  there  rode  a  man  up  to  the  gate  at  one 
o'clock  at  night,  and  at  the  top  of  his  voice  cried  out:  "Get . for 
your  lives,"  and  rode  away  at  a  rapid  speed  to  warn  others.  Need- 
less to  say  we  did  not  wait  to  be  told  a  second  time,  nor  doubt 
there  was  danger  at  hand.  Mother  got  the  grub-box  packed  and 
the  bedding  ready.  Father  gave  his  attention  to  the  guns  and 
ammunition,  while  my  two  eldest  brothers  put  in  readiness  the  horses 
and  wagons.  My  oldest  sister  let  the  pigs  and  chickens,  cows 
and  calves  out.  It  would  not  do  to  go  away  and  leave  them  shut 
up  to  starve,  and  we  had  no  time  to  take  them  with  us,  for  we 
had  to  race  for  our  lives.  This  one  time  I  speak  of  I  shall  never 
forget.  Mother  had  washed  that  day,  and  the  clothes  were  all 
out  on  the  bushes.  Mother  sent  my  twin  brother  and  myself  to 
get  the  clothes  in.  I  do  not  remember  whether  we  brought  one 
piece  in  whole  or  not.  We  could  not  help  thinking  there  was  an 
Indian  or  two  under  every  bush,  and  we  did  not  take  time  to  gather 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  17 

the  clothes  off  the  bushes  as  we  should.  We  were  not  long  in 
getting  on  the  road,  and  the  only  thing  we  stopped  for  till  we 
arrived  at  the  place  of  safety  was  to  change  horses. 

In  one  of  those  Indian  scares  my  youngest  brother  was  born, 
on  the  banks  of  the  Smokyhill  river,  in  a  covered  wagon. 

Ah,  I  cannot  begin  to  tell  you  what  a  wild  life  we  lived.  The 
buffalo  would  come  in  herds  through  our  farm  and  almost  destroy 
the  crops.  They  came  in  such  large  droves  that  we  could  not 
see  the  ground  for  miles.  We  would  hitch  up  a  wagon,  put  a  lot 
of  tin  pans  and  buckets  into  the  wagonbed  and  start  the  horses 
running,  to  cause  the  pans  to  rattle.  As  long  as  the  buffalo  could 
hear  the  rattle  of  the  tinware  they  would  run.  In  that  way  the 
great  herd  would  be  stampeded.  The  pounding  of  their  hurrying 
hoofs  caused  the  earth  to  tremble  till  the  glasses  on  the  table  were 
shaken.  It  was  an  experience  never  to  be  forgotten.  When  they 
ran  they  ran  stiff-legged,  their  tails  up  in  the  air  and  rocking  like 
a  Cradle.  It  was  a  wonderful  sight.  My  brother  could  stand  in 
the  gate  of  our  yard  and  kill  us  as  nice  a  fat,  young  buffalo  as 
anyone  ever  saw.  The  grass  was  alive  with  rattlesnakes.  My  oldest 
brother  and  we  children  would  go  out  all  day  hunting  ratlesnakes. 
We  would  kill  one,  and  then  we  would  go  away  a  little  distance 
and  wait  for  the  mate  of  the  one  we  had  killed.  It  would  come 
without  fail.  We  continued  to  go  snake  hunting  till  we  killed 
the  most  of  them  off.  The  great,  gray  wolves  were  dreadful.  We 
could  always  know  when  one  was  near,  because  of  a  peculiar  odor 
like  burning  rubber. 

One  Sunday  afternoon  my  oldest  sister  and  my  twin  brother 
and  myself  went  down  the  creek  two  miles  to  see  my  oldest  brother. 
When  coming  back  about  half  a  mile  from  my  brother's  house 
we  looked  up,  and  on  the  hill  across  the  creek  we  saw  a  lot  of 
Indians.  As  soon  as  we  saw  them  we  dropped  on  our  knees 
and  crept  to  the  creek;  then  up  the  creek,  through  the  water  and 
mud  we  waded,  till  we  came  even  with  the  house,  and  then  on 
through  the  bushes  until  we  came  into  the  back  yard,  where  mother 
pulled  us  through  the  window.  The  front  yard  was  full  of  Indians. 
I  am  sure  no  one  ever  saw  a  more  frightened  lot  of  children  than  we. 
We  breathed  a  breath  of  relief  as  mother  pulled  the  last  one  in. 
They  were  in  the  front  yard  begging  father  to  give  them  red  water. 
They  called  whisky  red  water.  Father  told  them  we  had  none,  and 
one  of  them  pulled  his  bow  and  arrow  to  shoot  father,  when  the 
chief  of  the  tribe  saw  him  and  stopped  him.  If  he  had  shot  father 
there  would  have  been  trouble,  and  perhaps  all  of  us  would  have 
been  killed  or  carried  off.  They  finally  went  away,  and  crossing 


1 8  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

the  creek,  camped  for  the  night.    None  of  us  slept  that  night.    They 
went  on  their  way  the  next  morning  without  doing  us  harm. 

One  morning  at  10:30  two  large  Indians  rode  up  to  the  house. 
We  were  very  much  surprised,  for  we  did  not  know  there  was  an  In- 
dian on  the  place.  There  was  no  one  at  home  but  mother  and  my  old- 
est sister  and  myself.  Father  and  my  oldest  brother  and  the  rest  of 
the  children  were  out  in  the  hayfield  cutting  hay.  I  shall  never 
forget  the  look  on  mother's  face.  She  was  as  pale  as  death.  While 
they  were  tying  their  horses  mother  was  trying  to  get  my  oldest 
sister  to  go  and  tell  father.  She  was  so  frightened  she  would  not 
go.  Then  mother  turned  to  me  and  said:  "Rachel,  go."  The 
thought  passed  through  my  mind:  "If  I  do  not  go  we  will  all 
be  killed  here  and  I  must  go."  Out  of  the  door  T  sprung.  About 
ten  steps  from  the  door  I  was  so  frightened  I  fell  to  the  ground. 
One  of  the  Indians  laughed  at  me  and  said :  "Ha !  ha !  papoose  fell 
down."  With  this  I  seemed  to  gain  strength,  and  like  a  deer  through 
the  woods  I  went.  I  was  not  long  getting  to  where  father  was. 
When  he  saw  me  coming  he  said  to  my  brothers :  "Get  ready ;  there 
are  Indians  at  the  house."  So  father  took  his  gun  and  came  to 
meet  me,  while  brother  put  the  horses  to  the  wagon  and  drove 
home.  We  did  not  wait  to  go  the  way  of  the  road.  We  cut  through 
the  woods,  the  hayfield  being  a  mile  from  the  house.  Can  you 
imagine,  dear  reader,  the  feelings  of  father  and  me  as  we  ran  through 
the  woods?  We  did  not  know  whether  we  would  find  mother  and 
sister  alive  or  not.  When  we  got  there,  as  we  were  climbing  the 
banks  of  the  creek,  the  two  Indians  were  in  the  yard  and  saw  us 
coming.  They  ran  to  the  top  of  the  bank  and  put  their  hands  out 
to  shake  hands,  saying  all  the  time,  "How,  how,  how."  Then  we 
knew  everything  was  all  right.  Mother  said  as  they  came  into  the 
house  they  put  their  hands  out  to  shake  hands  with  her,  and  said: 
"Squaw  is  'fraid ;  squaw  is  pale."  They  told  her,  "Ingun  no  kill." 
They  said  they  were  "Pawnee  In^un,"  which  meant  a  tame  Indian. 
They  told  us  their  names  were  Dick  and  Charlie,  and  said:  "We 
no  shoot  white  man."  As  they  shook  hands  with  father  they 
laughed  and  told  him  how  pale  his  squaw  was.  They  sat  down 
to  eat  dinner  with  us,  and  watched  us  using  our  knives  and  forks, 
which  seemed  to  amuse  them  very  much  for  they  kept  digging  their 
elbows  into  each  other's  ribs,  and  laughing  and  talking  Indian. 
After  dinner  they  wanted  to  trade  horses.  Father  would  have 
traded  with  them,  only  he  was  afraid  they  had  stolen  them.  They 
all  would  steal.  Then  they  wanted  to  trade  pipes,  and  father  would 
not.  They  would  not  go  till  they  got  a  trade  out  of  him.  Then 
they  wanted  him  to  trade  butcher  knives,  and  father  did  so.  They 
\vanted  tq  teach  father  liqw  tQ  smoke  through  his  nose,  and  father 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  IQ 

would  choke  and  tears  would  come  in  his  eyes,  and  they  would 
slap  their  legs  and  laugh.  When  they  were  much  pleased  they 
would  always  slap  their  legs.  At  last  they  bid  father  good  by  and 
went  on  their  way.  Poor  fellows,  we  never  saw  them  again.  About 
dark  the  same  evening  they  met  some  buffalo  hunters  who  shot 
them  down,  thinking  they  were  wild  Indians.  They  did  not  know 
any  better  till  they  went  up  to  them  after  they  were  dead. 

Another  time  a  little  before  dark,  a  man  rode  up  to  the  gate. 
We  could  not  tell  if  he  were  a  white  man  or  an  Indian,  so  father 
took  his  gun  on  his  shoulder  and  went  out  to  the  gate.  He  was 
a  white  man,  and  asked  father  if  he  could  stay  all  night.  He  told 
father  he  was  looking  through  the  country,  buying  up  govern- 
ment mules.  Father  knew  there  were  no  mules  in  the  country,  and 
did  not  know  what  to  do.  But  he  thought,  as  he  has  often  said, 
that  it  is  better  to  have  the  good  will  of  a  dog  then  the  ill  will, 
so  he  told  him  he  could  stay  all  night.  The  next  morning  when 
he  took  father's  hand  to  bid  him  good  by,  sitting  on  the  horse  hold- 
ing the  bridle  line,  he  asked  father  if  there  were  any  of  tire  neigh- 
bors who  were  anything  to  him,  or  dear  friends.  Father  wondered 
at  him  asking  that  question,  and  said :  "The  first  neighbor  is 
my  son,  and  the  'next  one  was  my  bunk  mate  in  the  army."  "Very 
well,  my  friend,  I  will  remember  you."  He  told  father  he  had 
asked  several  places  to  stay  all  night  and  they  would  not  let  him 
stay.  They  mistrusted  him  as  father  had.  He  told  father  he 
would  remember  him  for  his  kindness.  It  was  only  two  weeks  later 
when  a  tribe  of  Indians  crossed  the  creek  a  little  above  us  and 
went  north,  coming  in  below  father's  bunkmate's  farm.  Those  who 
did  not  flee  for  refuge,  or  could  not  get  away,  were  killed.  From 
the  description  of  the  white  man,  it  was  the  man  who  stayed  all 
night  at  our  house  two  weeks  before,  who  led  the  tribe  of  Indians. 
It  pays  to  be  good  and  kind  to  our  enemies,  and  to  do  good  to  all 
men.  We  did  not  think  it  safe  to  stay  at  our  home,  so  we  went 
to  Minneapolis.  As  we  passed  one  farmhouse  we  went  to  see  if 
they  were  gone.  The  dishes  set  on  the  table  as  they  had  eaten 
dinner,  the  doors  were  open,  the  chairs  turned  over  on  the  floor 
as  though  they  had  gotten  word  that  the  Indians  were  coming, 
and  had  fled  to  a  place  of  safety.  When  we  got  to  Minneapolis 
the  Solomon  river  was  up,  so  we  could  not  cross.  They  told  us 
they  did  not  think  we  would  be  in  any  danger  to  camp  on  the 
banks  of  the  river  till  night;  that  the  river  was  falling  fast  and 
by  night  we  could  cross  over.  While  we  were  there  the  soldiers 
brought  in  a  woman  that  had  been  wounded  by  the  Indians.  When 
they  told  us  her  name  we  knew  her.  Her  name  was  Hewitt.  Their 
father  was  killed,  and  I  do  not  remember  how  many  more.  There 


20  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

were  ten  in  the  family.  I  remember  the  oldest  boy  was  wounded ; 
the  oldest  girl  ran  into  the  woods  and  hid,  and  they  did  not  find 
her.  The  story  of  the  mother  was  a  pitiful  one.  She  said  when 
they  overtook  her  in  the  woods  she  had  her  babe  in  her  arms, 
and  they  told  her  if  she  would  let  them  have  her  papoose  they 
would  not  hurt  her.  Oh,  how  could  she  let  her  baby  go !  Like 
a  mother  she  said  no,  she  would  die  with  her  boy.  They  wanted 
him  for  his  hair.  His  hair  was  red ;  and  they  would  kill  anyone  for 
their  red  hair.  They  would  have  taken  him,  only  they  knew  the 
soldiers  were  after  them  and  they  would  soon  be  overtaken  if  they 
did  not  hurry,  so  they  shot  two  arrows  into  her  side,  or  bowels, 
and  hurried  on.  When  the  soldiers  found  her  her  bowels  were 
lying  partly  out,  but  she  still  held  the  baby  in  her  arms.  They 
said  she  could  not  live,  but  doctors  put  her  bowels  back  and  sewed 
her  up  and  God  spared  her  life  to  her  little  baby  boy.  The  family 
stopped  at  our  house  several  months  that  winter.  This  was  in 
the  summer.  We  did  not  stay  long  before  it  was  safe  to  return  home. 
One  afternoon  about  4  o'clock  there  came  an  Indian  riding 
up  the  road.  We  children  were  playing  in  the  yard  when  we  saw 
him  coming.  We  were  always  on  the  lookout.  We  never  got  so 
interested  in  our  play  that  we  forgot  to  watch,  father  had  gone 
to  Salina,  he  and  one  of  my  brothers,  and  there  was  only  my  oldest 
brother  at  home.  As  he  came  into  the  house  he  began  to  sniff  like 
a  cat,  and  said :  "White  man  kill  Indian's  ox  meat."  They  got 
very  angry  if  you  killed  a  buffalo.  They  told  us  it  was  their  "ox 
meat."  He  could  tell  by  the  smell,  and  he  said:  "Me  no  fight 
now.  Me  got  my  squaw  and  papooses  with  me,  and  me  no  fight." 
Still  he  was  very  angry.  He  told  us  his  name  was  Doctor  John. 
He  said  he  was  a  doctor.  He  sat  down  a  while  and  sniffed  the 
scent  of  the  meat.  Brother  had  killed  a  buffalo  that  morning  and 
mother  had  just  salted  it  down  when  the  Indian  came  in.  When 
he  got  on  his  horse  to  go  he  laid  his  gun  over  the  horn  of  the 
saddle  of  his  horse  and  pointed  the  gun  toward  my  brother  and 
asked  my  brother  to  "shake  hands  goodby."  My  brother  told  him 
if  he  would  put  his  gun  down  he  would  shake  hands.  The  Indian 
said:  "Me  no  kill  white  man,"  and  still  held  his  gun;  but  brother 
would  not  shake  hands.  Then  he  put  his  gun  down  at  his  side. 
and  brother  shook  hands  with  him  and  he  went  his  way.  He  let 
us  know  that  if  he  had  not  had  his  family  he  would  have  killed 
us.  We  have  come  near  death  so  many  times,  yet  not  one  of  our 
lives  was  lost,  and  so  many  all  around  us  were  killed.  We  did 
not  dare  to  dig  potatoes  when  there  was  an  Indian  near.  If  we 
had,  there  would  not  have  been  a  potato  on  the  place.  The  Indians 
thought  that  the  potatoes  grew  on  trees.  We  were  all  right  if  they 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  21 

did  not  see  us  dig  them.  We  would  get  up  early  in  the  morning, 
before  the  Indians  got  up,  and  get  breakfast  over.  If  we  did  not, 
they  would  put  their  faces  up  to  the  window,  and  their  hands  on 
each  side  of  their  faces,  and  beg  mother  for  biscuit.  The  win- 
dows would  be  filled  with  faces.  They  would  say,  "Good  squaw, 
good  white  woman,  good  pale  face,  give  Injun  biscuit."  In  the 
winter  time  they  would  come  into  our  home  to  warm,  and  putting 
their  heads  over  the  fire,  would  hold  their  breath  and  watch  the 
smoke  go  up  the  chimney  till  they  would  almost  smother.  When 
we  children  would  see  them  coming  we  would  run  and  hide.  One 
morning  a  lot  of  them  came  to  the  door  and  we  all  got  under 
the  bed.  I  was  the  last  one  to  get  under  the  bed  that  morning, 
and  one  of  them  saw  my  white  head  and  asked  mother  to  get  me 
from  under  the  bed.  I  thought  my  time  had  come  to  be  scalped. 
They  thought  my  white  head  was  so  nice.  Mother  told  me  they 
would  not  hurt  me,  that  they  loved  white  and  red  hair.  As  you 
know  their  hair  is  all  black,  and  when  they  saw  us  children  with 
our  white  hair,  the  first  white  hair  they  had  ever  seen,  it  was 
very  strange  to  them. 

During  one  of  the  raids  the  Indians  made  on  the  fort  at  Els- 
worth  someone  got  into  the  fort  and  stole  two  little  girls.  They 
belonged  to  one  of  the  officers.  I  do  not  remember  what  officer  of 
the  army  it  was.  The  pursuers  stopped  at  our  house  to  let  the  horses 
eat,  and  while  they  rested  the  father  of  the  two  little  girls  walked 
the  floor.  Oh,  the  grief  of  that  father  was  heart-breaking.  They 
were  gone  three  days,  and  coming  back  with  the  girls,  stopped 
all  night.  What  a  happy  father !  The  poor  little  girls  were  so  pale 
and  thin  when  they  found  them.  They  had  wandered  around  till 
they  were  so  tired  they  sat  down  to  die.  They  would  never  have 
starved,  but  they  would  have  been  eaten  by  wolves.  The  Indians 
knew  the<  soldiers  were  following  them,  and  they  dropped  the  two 
little  girls  to  be  eaten  by  the  wolves  that  night  if  they  had  not 
been  found.  A  few  months  after  this  happened  there  were  three 
buffalo  hunters  a  few  miles  from  our  house,  and  the  Indians  came 
upon  them  and  killed  them.  They  did  not  kill  them  outright,  but 
scalped  one,  another  one  they  drove  spikes  through  his  feet  and 
hands,  and  the  other  one  they  drove  the  rod  of  the  tail-gate 
:of  the  wagon  through  his  stomach,  and  then  left  them  to  die. 
When  they  were  found,  the  one  that  had  been  scalped  had  crept 
away  from  the  others  and  died.  The  one  whose  stomach  the  rod 
had  been  driven  through,  had  dug  holes  in  the  ground  with  his 
feet  and  hands,  and  was  found  dead.  The  three  were  dead  when 
found.  The  Indians  were  so  cruel  when  they  had  the  whites  in 
their  power.  They  would  make  little  sharp  sticks  like  pins,  and 
drive  them  into  the  flesh  of  the  white  women  that  they  took  captive. 


22  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 


CHAPTER  II. 

IWAS  in  my  ninth  year.  There  was  no  school,  no  Sunday-school, 
no  church,  no  prayer-meeting,  and  yet  I  dare  say  we  little 
children  did  more  praying  than  all  the  children  of  Denver 
put  together.  The  children  have  more  to  thank  God  for  now- 
a-days,  on  the  line  of  opportunities  and  other  things,  though  I, 
being  surrounded  with  danger  at  all  times  for  three  years,  have 
nothing  to  regret  in  my  young  life,  as  I  look  back.  It  only  had 
a  tendency  to  make  my  young  life  more  serious  than  that  of  child- 
ren now-a-days.  There  were  lasting  impressions  made  on  my  mind. 
It  is  almost  beyond  belief  that  little  children  could  have  the  knowl- 
edge of  spiritual  things  that  we  had.  Our  trust  in  God  was  something 
wonderful.  I  was  eight  years  old  in.  February,  and  in  April  I 
was  lost.  Father  sent  me  after  the  cattle  in  the  first  part  of  April. 
The  grass  was  not  good  and  the  cattle  had  rambled  so  far  away 
I  could  not  find  them,  so  I  hunted  and  hunted  till  it  was  almost 
dark.  I  had  gotten  so  far  from  home  that  I  could. not  get  back 
till  night  was  upon  me,  and  so  dark  I  could  not  see  my  hand 
.before  me.  There  was  no  road  to  guide  the  horse,  not  even 
a  path.  Dear  reader,  can  you  imagine  the  feeling  of  my  heart 
as  I  looked  to  God,  in  my  simple  way,  praying  Him  not  to  let  me 
fall  from  rny  horse,  and  that  I  would  get  home  all  right?  The 
wolves  were  howling  all  around  me,  and  I  was  so  afraid  the  horse 
might  fall  down  or  drag  me  off  his  back  into  the  bushes,  as  I 
had  no  saddle  to  hold  on  to — nothing  but  a  bridle  and  his  mane. 
I  was  astride  the  horse  and  when  he  would  go  into  the  brush  I 
would  take  hold  of  the  mane  of  his  neck  and  ask  God  not  to  let  a 
limb  hit  me  to  knock  me  off.  I  could  do  nothing  but  trust  God  and 
let  the  horse  have  his  way.  Perhaps  you  think  I  was  too  young 
to  trust,  or  too  young  to  know  how  to  pray.  I  thought  praying 
was  asking  God  not  to  let  a  limb  hit  me  and  knock  me  off  the 
horse,  and  to  let  me  get  home  all  right.  I  thank  God  I  cannot 
remember  the  time  when  I  was  too  young  to  pray,  and,  best  of  all, 
it  was  not  a  form,  for  I  meant  it,  and  God  knows  I  did.  As  I  lifted 
my  heart  to  God  the  old  horse  would  pick  his  way.  At  last  he 
came  to  a  place  and  stopped.  I  did  not  know  what  had  made 
him  stop,  for  I  could  not  see.  He  stood  there  and  snorted,  and 
I  knew  he  did  not  know  what  to  do.  I  let  him  stand,  what  could 
I  do?  He  must  have  stood  there  ten  minutes,  and  then  he  turned 
around  and  went  the  way  we  came  a  little  way  and  then  turned 
in  the  same  direction  he  had  been  going  before.  I  think  he  must 
have  come  to  a  steep  hill  or  bank  where  he  could  not  go  down. 


OR,    SEEKING    DIAMONDS    IN    THE    ROUGH  23 

The  rocks  were  dreadful.  He  would  stumble  and  almost  fall. 
At  last  he  must  have  turned  a  bend  in  the  timber,  and  there  I 
saw  a  light  in  the  window.  Once  my  oldest  sister  and  I  were  out 
driving  the  cattle  home,  with  the  wolves  following  a  little  behind 
us.  We  knew  we  were  all  right  if  we  did  not  fall  off  our  horses. 
We  had  not  driven  the  cattle  very  far  when  all  at  once  my  sister's 
horse  made  a  lunge  at  one  of  the  cattle  when  Mary  was  not  ex- 
pecting it.  It  threw  her  off  and  she  hung  to  the  bridle  and  mane 
of  the  horse  The  moment  one  of  the  wolves  saw  her  fall  he 
made  for  her  I  knew  the  old  fellow  would  get  her  if  I  did  not 
do  something,  and  the  only  thing  that  was  left  for  me  to  do  was 
to  run  my  horse  into  the  wolf  and  scream  as  loud  as  I  could  This 
was  done  sooner  than  I  can  tell  you,  and  the  wolf  ran  away  Then 
I  got  over  on  my  stomach  on  the  horse  and  reached  down,  and 
Mary  reached  her  foot  as  far  up  as  she  could,  and  I  got  hold  of  it 
and  helped  her  on ;  and  again  we  thanked  God  for  his  good- 
ness to  us. 

Another  time  my  sister  and  I  went  to  bring  the  cattle  home. 
We  were  on  foot.  We  had  gotten  to  where  the  cattle  were  when 
we  saw  a  large  Texas  steer  making  through  the  herd  toward  us. 
He  was  one  of  those  wild  steers  that  had  strayed  away  from  his 
herd  and  come  to  ours.  We  did  not  see  him  till  he  was  making 
for  us.  In  a  moment,  for  we  did  not  have  very  long  to  think,  we 
started  for  a  high  bank  that  we  had  passed  a  short  distance  behind 
us.  We  had  stopped  and  looked  at  the  bank  on  our  way  to  the 
cattle,  not  thinking  that  in  ten  minutes  we  would  be  leaping  over 
it.  If  we  had  thought  of  that  it  would  have  frightened  us  almost 
to  death.  Well,  when  we  saw  that  old  Texas  steer,  with  horns 
that  looked  as  if  they  were  four  feet  long  and  five  feet  across 
from  one  point  to  the  other  (I  think  I  am  safe  in  saying  this, 
though  one  could  hardly  believe  it  if  he  never  saw  one),  we  made 
for  the  bank,  and  not  a  moment  too  soon.  Over  we  went,  and 
when  we  lit  we  sank  into  the  sand  up  to  our  knees.  The  bank 
was  as  high  as  a  two-story  house,  or  perhaps  a  three-story.  If  it 
had  not  been  for  the  soft,  dry  sand,  the  fall  would  have  killed 
us.  We  had  no  more  than  alighted  when  the  old  fellow  rushed 
to  the  bank.  The  way  he  did  paw  the  dust  and  bellow  was  some- 
thing frightful ;  and  again  we  both  thanked  God  for  our  lives ! 

We  went  down  the  creek  till  we  came  to  a  farm-house  on  the 
bank  of  Salt  Creek,  and  there  they  gave  us  a  horse  to  drive  the 
Texas  steer  out  of  our  herd.  There  is  no  one  that  could  make 
me  believe  that  it  was  not  my  mother's  faithful  life  and  prayers  that 
caused  God  to  hold  us  in  his  hand.  O,  how  often  I  have  seen 


24  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

mother  lift  her  heart  to  God  in  silent  prayer  in  times  of  danger.  I 
did  not  realize  as  I  do  now  the  power  in  trusting  and  in  prayer. 

One  evening  father  came  from  Salina  late,  it  being  about 
9  o'clock.  Father  told  my  twin  brother,  myself  and  my  sister 
to  go  into  the  field  and  each  one  get  a  sheaf  of  oats  for  the  horses 
that  night.  The  field  was  half  a  mile  away  and  we  had  to  go 
through  the  woods  to  the  oat  field.  I  know  if  father  and  mother 
could  have  realized  how  we  trusted  the  Lord  they  would  have  been 
amazed.  We  dared  not  say  we  were  afraid.  When  they  said  go, 
they  meant  go  regardless  of  our  fears.  This  one  night  I  am  telling 
you  about  there  were  many  wolves,  and  we  had  seen  a  large  wildcat 
in  the  woods  almost  as  large  as  a  coyote.  In  the  night  his  eyes 
looked  like  great  balls  of  fire.  Nevertheless  we  must  go.  We  took 
hold  of  each  other's  hands  and  lifted  our  hearts  to  God.  With 
bated  breath  and  hearts  almost  standing  still  we  set  out.  All  the 
way  we  spoke  not  a  word.  Coming  back  we  were  filled  with  terror 
lest  something  should  take  after  us.  We  could  not  run,  for  the 
sheaves  of  oats  were  almost  as  large  as  we  were.  Our  prayers 
were,  "Lord,  do  not  let  the  wildcat  get  us."  We  got  home  all  right, 
and  thanked  God  for  it. 

Not  long  after  this  father  sold  his  farm  and  moved  over  on 
a  stream  in  the  Saline  valley.  Father  named  the  little  creek  Dew 
Drop.  I  was  in  my  tenth  year.  The  Indians  had  almost  all  left 
the  country  by  this  time  and  gave  us  but  little  trouble.  My  aunt, 
father's  sister,  came  and  made  us  a  visit,  and  my  twin  brother 
went  back  with  her  to  Steubenville,  Ohio,  to  go  to  school.  He  was 
not  strong  enough  to  be  a  farmer's  boy.  He  being  unable  to  bear 
the  hard  work  of  an  early  settled  farm  it  devolved  upon  me,  a 
ten-year-old  girl,  to  almost  take  charge  of  the  farm.  My  older 
brothers  had  left  home.  It  was  not  long  after  this  that  my  father 
became  possessed  of  the  diamond  fever  and  started  for  South 
Africa.  He  never  reached  there,  however,  for  he  was  robbed, 
and  was  obliged  to  return  on  a  homeward-bouncl  vessel.  I  had  a 
sister  older  than  myself  at  home  and  one  two  years  younger.  My 
oldest  sister  left  home  shortly  after  we  moved  to  this  new  home. 
My  duties  on  the  farm  were  various ;  milking,  cutting  hay  and 
shocking  wheat,  breaking  horses  for  the  saddle,  plowing,  clean- 
ing out  stable  and  herding  cattle  the  same  as  a  cowboy.  Our 
neighbors  hired  me  to  herd  their  cattle  at  one  dollar  per  head.  I 
soon  had  a  large  number  to  care  for  with  our  own.  I  have  been 
in  the  saddle  in  rain  and  sunshine,  in  heat  and  cold,  until  my 
hands  were  blistered,  my  body  sore  from  the  saddle.  Thus  passed 
my  girlhood  days,  hoeing  corn,  digging  potatoes  and  chopping 
wood.  One  day  I  was  in  the  field  harrowing  in  wheat  when  two 


O 

n 


O 

a: 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  25 

gentlemen  drove  up  in  a  buggy  at  the  end  of  the  field.  The  county 
road  ran  along  beside  our  farm.  They  saw  me  coming  toward  them 
and  stopped  and  waited  for  me.  As  I  turned  to  go  back  one 
of  the  men  said  to  me:  "My  little  girl,  what  are  you  trying  to  do?" 
I  told  him.  He  said :  "Are  you  not  afraid  of  getting  something 
in  your  feet?"  I  was  barefooted.  I  told  him  I  was  not.  If  I 
did  I  stopped  and  pulled  the  briar  out  and  went  on.  I  told  him 
my  feet  were  so  tough  nothing  much  could  hurt  them,  and  from 
the  way  he  looked  at  them  I  think  he  believed  it.  He  then 
asked  me  if  I  had  no  father.  I  told  him  I  had,  and  then  he  asked 
me  where  he  was,  and  all  the  time  kept  looking  at  my  feet.  I 
told  him  he  was  in  the  house  reading.  He  thought  it  was  awful 
when  I  told  him  we  all  worked  like  this  to  help  keep  the  family. 
He  looked  at  me  for  a  moment  and  then  drove  away.  The  only 
thing  we  wore  from  April  to  November  was  a  gored  slip  for  a 
dress.  I  do  not  know  where  mother  got  the  pattern.  It  has  been 
years  since  I  saw  one  like  it.  The  cloth  was  bronze  denim,  the 
same  as  men's  overalls  are  made  of.  In  the  winter  we  wore  home- 
made flannel  dresses  and  mittens  and  stockings.  Our  Sunday 
dresses  were  calico.  We  thought  we  were  dressed  up  when  we 
got  a  calico  dress  on. 

I  think  I  was  about  eleven  years  old  when  there  was  a  church 
near  enough  for  us  to  attend.  I  have  no  recollection  of  going 
to  Sunday  school  till  after  I  left  home  at  fourteen.  I  do  not 
remember  how  many  months  I  went  to  school.  My  mother  taught 
me  to  read  and  spell  at  home  after  we  moved  to  Kansas.  I  was 
14  the  28th  day  of  February,  and  left  home  in  June.  I 
learned  to  read  a  little,  took  a  few  lessons  in  arithmetic,  up  to 
where  twice  four  is  eight  and  twice  twelve  are  twenty-four.  T  do 
not  remember  taking  any  lessons  in  writing.  I  learned  to  write 
after  I  left  home.  I  will  tell  you  a  few  of  my  experiences  in 
these  three  years.  We  had  no  Indians  to  contend  with,  but  our 
trials  had  not  come-  to  an  end  as  Kansas  farmers.  The  dread- 
fully dry  weather  set  in,  but,  thank  the  dear  Lord,  with  it  all  we 
had  a  home  of  our  own  and  enough  >Jio  eat,  such  as  it  was — we  had 
plenty  of  potatoes  and  bread  and  butter  and  good  milk,  and  after 
the  first  garden  stuff  we  had  plenty  of  that.  What  we  raised  in 
the  early  part  of  the  spring  we  sold.  It  always  brought  a  good 
price.  With  the  fresh  milk,  the  fresh  air,  and  plenty  of  exercise, 
we  were  strong,  healthy  children,  while  to-day  there  are  thousands 
in  the  world  without  the  necessaries  of  life,  and  who,  from  one 
year's  end  to  the  other,  never  get  one  breath  of  fresh  air,  and  see 
never  a  spray  of  green  grass.  What  a  life !  And  what  kind  of 
men  and  women  will  they  make?  What  kind  of  dispositions  can 


26  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

theyt  have?  I  do  not  regret  the  experience  of  my  young  life. 
Though  I  had  no  chance  for  an  education,  still  I  have  come  through 
better  than  thousands  with  an  education.  I  have  always  had 
good  health.  My  father  was  a  stern  Englishman,  and  had  his  faults 
like  all  others  of  the  human  race.  Perhaps  in  some  ways  he  was 
worse  than  others,  and  in  others  better.  While  I  speak  of  my 
dear  father,  remember  I  love  him — even  more  now  than  when  I 
was  young,  though  he  had  ways  I  could  not  understand.  He  was 
afraid  we  would  all  die  in  the  poorhouse.  He  was  so  much 
like  Martha,  careful  about  many  things.  This  made  it  hard  for 
mother  and  the  children.  With  it  all  it  taught  us  to  know  hard 
work,  and  we  learned  a  lesson  of  economy  that  has  enabled  me 
to  have  plenty  and  give  to  others.  As  the  saying  is,  "Any  fool 
can  earn  money,  but  it  takes  a  wise  man  to  care  for  the  money, 
and  to  know  how  to  use  it  to  the  best  advantage."  I  think  I 
had  a  real  good  father  after  all. 

With  the  dry  weather  and  the  grasshoppers  it  was  hard  to 
tell  which  was  the  hardest  to  bear — the  Indians  or  the  grass- 
hoppers. They  would  come  and  eat  everything  before  them.  The 
prairie  fires  were  dreadful.  To  or  three  times  we  came  very 
near  having  everything  burned — barn  and  house  and  everything. 
In  one  of  those  awful  fires  my  sister  almost  lost  her  life.  We 
would  often  fight  fire  all  day,  not  stopping  long  enough  to  eat, 
every  child  old  enough  to  use  a  wet  rag  on  a  stick  or  carry  a 
bucket  of  water  being  pressed  into  service.  How  often  have  we 
stopped  in  those  terrible  fires,  thinking  we  would  have  to  give 
up !  Father  would  say  we  must  not  give  up.  With  Jiis  determina- 
tion and  skill  in  managing  the  fire  we  were  never  burned  out. 
When  first  we  would  see  the  fire  coming,  perhaps  we  could  see 
nothing  but  the  red  on  the  skies  after  night.  We  knew  the  signs, 
and  for  two  or  three  days  and  nights  we  would  get  out  and  back 
fire  in  order  to  protect  our  home.  At  times  we  came  near  being 
burned  out,  the  fire  coming  on  us  in  one  of  those  high  Kansas 
wind-storms,  sometimes  jumping  our  fire  guards,  which  were  wide 
strips  of  burnt  grass.  One  time  the  wind  was  so  high  it  carried 
sparks  which  set  fire  inside  the  fire  guards,  and  then  we  had 
to  fight  to  save  our  lives.  Once  when  we  had  been  fighting  fire  all 
day,  the  cows  got  away,  and  the  prairie  being  burned,  they  could 
get  nothing  to  eat,  only  along  where  it  was  wet  and  the  fire  could 
not  burn.  We  lost  our  hay  several  times,  so  that  we  had  not  enough 
for  the  cattle  to  eat  through  the  winter,  and  they  lay  down  and 
died  for  the  want  of  something  to  eat.  They  would  get  so  poor 
and  weak  that  we  were  obliged  to  help  them  up  when  they  lay 
down,  for  the  grasshoppers  had  come  and  eaten  our  wheat,  so 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  27 

that  we  had  no  straw  for  them.  This  day  that  I  speak  of  the 
cows  had  wandered  so  far  from  home  that  we  could  not  hear 
the  bell  (it  was  almost  dark  when  we  got  the  best  of  the  fire) 
and  we  knew  it  would  not  do  to  let  them  go.  There  was  no  telling 
where  we  would  find  them  the  next  day,  as  they  would  keep  going, 
hunting  grass,  so  my  oldest  sister  and  I  got  on  horses  and  started 
out.  We  had  only  two  hours  of  daylight  in  which  to  trace  them. 
We  could  see  their  tracks  plainly  in  the  newly  burnt  grass,  so  we 
lost  no  time,  running  the  horses  as  fast  as  possible.  I  forget 
how  many  miles  away  we  found  them.  It  was  dark,  and  we  could 
only  hear  a  faint  sound  of  the  bell  by  standing  perfectly  still  and 
listening.  The  horses  knew  that  we  were  listening.  They  would 
prick  up  their  ears  and  stop  chewing  their  bits  that  they,  too,  might 
listen.  One  was  an  old  gray  horse,  which  my  father  brought 
from  the  army.  We  called  him  Sam.  He  could  hear  better  than 
we  could,  and  when  he  heard  the  bell  we  could  do  nothing  with 
him.  He  was  determined  to  go.  In  the  time  of  the  Indian,  this 
same  old  horse  would  smell  an  Indian  for  one  or  two  miles.  He 
would  snort  through  his  nostrils,  making  a  sound  like  a  whistle. 
When  any  of  the  boys  would  mount  him  with  a  gun  he  was  ready 
to  go.  He  would  look  on  every  side  to  see  what  they  were  going 
to  shoot,  and  when  they  took  aim  he  would  stand  perfectly  still 
till  the  gun  was  discharged,  and  then  he  was  as  anxious  to  see 
what  they  had  killed  as  they  were.  We  had  this  old  horse  the 
night  I  speak  of,  and  he  heard  the  bell  before  we  did.  It  was 
not  long  till  we  could  hear  the  bell,  too,  and  then  the  time  we 
had !  It  was  in  the  dark  of  the  moon,  and  the  smoke  and  the 
black,  burnt  grass  intensified  the  darkness  so  that  we  could  hardly 
see  our  hands  before  us.  We  got  the  bell-cow  started  toward  home 
and  then  we  waited.  From  the  sound  of  the  bell  we  could  tell 
that  they  were  on  their  way  home.  Our  eyes  were  so  sore,  from 
the  heat  of  the  fire  and  the  smoke,  that  we  could  hardly  see. 
The  only  way  that  we  could  see  was  to  get  off  our  horses  as  we 
were  climbing  a  hill,  and  then  the  cows  would  be  between  us  and 
the  sky.  One  of  our  oldest  neighbors  tried  to  get  to  my  brother's 
when  the  fire  was  still  north  of  the  creek.  He  thought  he  could 
make  it.  The  fire  jumped  the  creek  and  overtook  him,  and  there 
was  nothing  left  for  him  to  do  but  lie  down  with  his  face  to  the 
ground.  He  did  so,  and  the  fire  passed  over  him  like  a  flash,  only 
scorching  his  hair  a  little.  It  was  dreadful  when  the  wild  fire 
would  come  up  to  a  bank,  like  the  Saline  river,  and  with  the  dry, 
high  grass  the  lashing,  angry  flames  would  leap  to  the  other  bank 
and  make  its  way  across  the  wide  bottoms  and  up  the  hill,  destroying 
everything  in  its  consuming  flames,  burning  out  families,  leaving 


28  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

them  without  a  thing  in  the  world,  and  often  someone  would  lose 
his  life.  O,  how  many  times  we  have  thanked  God  for  his  good- 
ness. If  one  had  not  a  great  amount  of  faith  he  would  surely  look 
at  it  as  father  did,  and  think  he  would  die  in  the  poorhouse.  There 
was  not  even  a  country  poorhouse  to  die  in.  The  only  relief 
was  to  get  food  and  clothing  from  the  government,  which  many 
did,  though  we  never  did.  We  always  managed  some  way.  By 
the  help  of  God  we  had  plenty.  Then  there  was  the  awful  grass- 
hopper plague,  like  in  Pharoah's  time.  At  about  n  o'clock 
in  the  morning  we  could  see  them,  high  up  in  the  air,  like  little 
shining  specks,  passing  between  us  and  the  sun,  going  south. 
We  watched  them,  and  had  made  up  our  minds  they  were  going 
over,  when  the  wind  changed  a  little  from  the  north  to  the  west, 
sending  them  a  little  to  the  east.  They  did  not  like  that,  and  in 
two  hours  they  were  low  enough  so  that  we  could  see  them 
plainly,  and  before  night  they  came  down  like  hail.  If  you  had 
been  in  the  house  and  not  seen,  you  would  have  said  it  was  one 
of  the  greatest  hail  storms  you  were  ever  in.  It  was  dreadful. 
My  oldest  brother,  James,  hitched  up  a  horse  to  each  end  of  a 
wide  board  and  went  over  some  of  his  ground,  raking  them  into 
a  furrow  at  the  end  of  his  field.  Then,  with  another  horse, 
he  plowed  them  under  before  they  could  fly.  They  would 
have  eaten  everything  up  if  they  had  stayed  a  few  days,  but,  thank 
God,  before  noon  the  next  day  the  wind  came  from  the  north, 
favorable  for  them,  for  they  were  going  south,  and  up  they  got 
and  left  us.  They  did  a  little  harm,  but  not  so  much  as  they  did 
a  few  years  after  that.  I  had  left  home  and  was  in  Norton 
Center,  Kan.,  at  that  time,  farther  west,  a  little  town  of  ten  or 
twelve  houses.  I  was  living  with  a  minister  and  his  wife.  They 
had  a  light,  two-horse  covered  rig  which  he  used  in  going  to  dif- 
ferent appointments. .  It  was  necessary,  in  the  time  of  those  hot 
Kansas  winds,  and*  in  the  time  of  rain  when  he  would  not  be  able  to 
reach  a  farmhouse,  in  crossing  those  divides,  to  have  a  covered 
wagon.  I  always  tended  the  horses.  At  the  time  that  the  Pharaoh 
pests  came  down  the  minister  was  not  at  home.  He  was  in  a  lit- 
tle town  called  Loeta,  five  miles  away.  He  preached  there  in  the 
morning  and  at  Norton  in  the  afternoon.  The  grasshoppers  were 
eating  everything  before  them.  It  was  all  the  minister  could  do 
to  get  the  horses  to  travel  through  them.  There  were  several 
runaways  that  day.  The  horses  were  so  friglitened  at  the  grass- 
hoppers they  were  frantic.  They  were  so  thick  on  the  railroad 
in  places  that  they  would  stop  the  train.  It  was  as  though  some- 
one had  soaped  the  wheels  and  the  track.  The  wheels  would 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  2Q 

go  round  and  round  and  the  train  stand  still.  One  would  think  this 
was  a  fish  story  if  he  had  not  seen  it.  It  would  seem  impossible. 
We  had  to  make  a  smoke,  as  we  did  in  the  evening  for  mosquitoes, 
to  keep  the  grasshoppers  out  of  the  house.  They  would  fly  in 
at  the  door  every  time  it  was  opened,  and  whatever  they  lit  on  they 
would  eat  holes  in.  If  they  lit  on  the  harness  they  would  eat  holes 
in  it,  and  even  in  the  pitchfork  handles,  till  they  made  the  handle 
rough.  I  have  told  this  to  people  and  they  would  hardly  believe 
it.  They  would  laugh  as  though  a  thing  like  that  could  not  be 
true.  Nevertheless,  it  was.  That  Sunday  afternoon  in  the  little 
town  all  went  to  church — grasshoppers  or  no  grasshoppers.  You 
could  see  women  and  girls  all  over  the  town  coming  to  church  with 
their  dresses  gathered  tightly  around  them,  for  I  tell  you  if  one 
of  them  got  under  your  dress  you  saw  some  tall  kicking.  You 
could  not  tell  which  kicked  the  hardest,  the  woman  or  the  grass- 
hopper. You  could  see  the  men  giving  their  pants  a  pinch  below 
the  knee,  and  sometimes  they  would  get  above  the  knee,  and  if 
they  did  they  got  pinched  the  harder  till  they  were  helpless.  If 
they  got  up  your  dress  sleeves  there  was  no  other  way  but  to 
pinch  them,  and  they  would  always  get  back  at  you  by  leaving  a 
large  spot  of  tobacco  juice  on  the  dress  sleeve.  If  you  took  hold 
of  them  or  pinched  them  they  would  leave  two  or  three  drops  of 
juice  out  of  their  mouth.  We  always  said  they  were  spitting  to- 
bacco. The  meeting  was  half  over  when,  in  a  moment,  the  sun 
was  darkened.  We  all  -knew  there  was  not  a  cloud  in  the  sky 
when  the  meeting  began,  and  we  did  not  know  what  it  meant.  Each 
was  looking  at  the  other  and  then  at  the  preacher,  and  the  preacher 
at  the  people  till  he  forgot  what  he  was  saying,  and  the  people 
made  a  rush  for  the  windows.  We  had  no  church ;  we  held  services 
up  stairs  in  the  court  house.  When  we  got  to  the  windows  and 
looked  out  the  grasshoppers  had  gone,  for  it  was  they  that  had  cloud- 
ed the  sun.  They  were  so  thick  that  not  one  ray  of  sun  could  get 
through  them.  It  was  as  dark  as  it  is  before  a  heavy  rain.  When 
we  found  it  was  the  grasshoppers  going  away  the  minister  turned 
the  meeting  into  a  praise  and  song  service.  The  first  song  we 
sang  was  "Praise  God  from  Whom  all  Blessings  Flow."  I  want 
to  tell  you  there  was  as  happy  a  lot  of  people  in  Norton  Center 
that  afternoon  as  you  would  find  anywhere. 

Only  one  more  plague  will  I  mention,  and  that  was  when  I 
was  still  home,  a  year  or  two  before  I  left.  We,  everyone,  had  a 
siege  of  those  old-time  ague  chills.  If  you  have  them  once  you 
will  never  forget  that  you  had  the  old-fashioned  Kansas  chills  and 
fever.  When  the  plague  visited  our  house  everyone  of  us  was 
down  at  once,  not  one  left  to  wait  upon  the  others,  no  one  left  to 


30  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

do  the  work.  Everyone  had  to  be  his  own  nurse  or  waiter,  and 
we,  each  one  of  us,  would  do  what  we  could  at  the  work.  Some 
of  us  would  be  in  a  high  fever  while  others  would  shake  so  hard 
that  the  bedstead  would  tremble,  and  you  could  have  heard  their 
teeth  rattle.  Others  would  suffer  great  nausea.  I  had  it  lighter 
than  any  of  them,  so  it  was  left  for  me  to  herd  the  cattle.  I 
could  not  go  very  far  from  the  house  the  days  that  I  had  the 
chills.  I  would  ride  my  horse  over  to  the  house  every  two  hours 
to  take  a  big  drink  of  boneset  tea,  for  the  chills,  or  lobelia  tea. 
Those  who  have  had  those  old  time  chills  know  what  I  mean. 
Sometimes  I  would  not  get  back  to  the  herd  till  up  would  come  the 
tea  I  had  just  drank.  Those  times  will  never  be  forgotten  by  me. 
The  last  winter  I  was  home  was  a  very  hard  winter.  I  did  almost 
all  the  chores,  chopping  wood  for  the  two  stoves  and  tending  the 
stock.  One  winter  day  the  wind  was  blowing  and  the  snow  was 
drifting.  It  was  too  cold  to  snow ;  it  was  only  drifting.  It  was  so 
cold  that  the  cattle  were  running  around  trying  to  get  out.  Though 
they  had  a  good  shed,  they  could  not  keep  warm.  In  some 
way  they  got  the  gate  open  and  we  did  not  miss  them  till  four 
o'clock  in  the  afternoon.  I  went  and  told  father  the  cattle  were 
gone.  He  thought  I  had  been  careless  in  shutting  the  gate.  I 
could  not  make  him  believe  otherwise.  I  tended  the  horses  and 
the  pigs  and  the  chickens  and  put  the  hay  around  in  heaps.  I 
intended,  storm  or  no  storm,  if  father  said  much,  to  go  and  get 
the  cattle.  So  I  went  in.  My  father  was  very  angry  and  said  a 
little  more  than  I  thought  he  ought  to  say,  so  I  got  on  one  of 
the  horses  and  went.  My  mother  said  she  was  afraid  I  would 
freeze  to  death  before  I  could  get  back.  I  had  some  of  my  father's 
spunk,  and  so  I  went.  There  was  not  a  soul  out,  not  one.  I  rode 
up  to  the  house  of  John  McBride  and  asked  him  if  he  had  seen 
anything  of  strange  cattle.  He  said  there  were  some  running 
around  the  barn  but  they  did  not  stay  long.  Then  I  knew  they 
had  gone  down  into  the  bend  of  the  Saline  river.  They  would 
not  cross  the  ice,  for  they  were  afraid.  McBride  was  a  wicked 
man  to  swear,  and  the  way  he  cursed  at  father  for  letting  me 
come  out  in  that  dreadful  storm  was  awful.  McBride  tried  to  get 
me  to  stay  all  night  and  let  the  cattle  go.  I  told  him  I  would  not. 
"Well,  you  can  go  if  you  will,"  he  said.  "I  would  not  go  out 
a  night  like  this  ,for  my  own  mother."  I  went  into  the  house 
and  got  good  and  warm.  He  put  my  horse  in  the  stable,  for 
it  was  too  cold  for  an  animal  to  stand  out.  I  soon  started,  thinking 
we  could  stand  it.  I  found  the  cattle  where  I  expected.  I  ran 
my  horse  almost  to  death  before  I  could  get  them  to  face  the 
storm.  The  blinding  snow  was  dreadful.  One  could  see  but  a 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  31 

short  distance  before  him.  At  last  I  got  them  started.  In  places 
the  snow  was  so  deep,  where  it  had  drifted,  that  the  cattle  could 
not  go  as  fast  as  I  could  go  on  horseback,  and  when  I  got  up  to 
them  I  would  turn  the  horse's  tail  to  the  wind  and  wait  till  the 
cattle  got  a  half-mile  away,  and  then  the  horse  would  go  as  fast 
as  he  could  until  we  overtook  them,  when  he  would  again  turn 
his  tail  to  the  storm.  This  is  the  way  I  did  till  I  reached  home.  I 
was  about  frozen.  Mother  thought  I  had  frozen  to  death.  She 
could  not  stay  in  the  house.  She  had  a  coat  on  and  was  out  in 
the  yard,  ready  to  take  the  horse  when  I  came  up.  She  was  the 
first  one  to  hear  the  cattle  bawling,  and  she  was  the  first  one  at 
the  gate.  I  do  not  know  how  long  I  was  numb  with  the  cold.  At 
last  I  got  to  shaking,  after  mother  had  rubbed  me  a  long  time.  I 
did  not  get  warm  that  night.  I  was  almost  frozen  stiff  when  I 
got  home.  I  could  not  pick  up  the  bridle  rein.  I  left  the  horse  and 
went  into  the  house.  I  could  not  forget  the  way  McBride  swore. 
It  made  me  think  of  the  first  oath  I  ever  heard.  In  April,  when 
I  was  nine  years  old,  a  cowboy  rode  up  to  the  gate  and  asked 
father  if  he  had  seen  any  strange  cattle.  It  was  a  cold,  wet  day, 
the  rain  and  wind  coming  from  the  north.  I  remember  so  well  how 
he  looked.  The  way  he  swore  impressed  me,  and  this  is  why  I 
remember  so  well.  His  horse  would  not  stand  still  when  he  tried 
to  mount  him.  The  rain  and  the  wind  had  chilled  the  horse,  and 
it  made  the  cowboy  angry  because  he  would  not  stand  for  him  to 
mount.  We  all  thought  that  God  would  surely  strike  him  down. 
We  had  the  idea,  as  children,  that  God  would  not  let  anyone  live 
that  would  take  His  name  in  vain.  This  was  my  experience  until 
I  was  fourteen  years  of  age,  when  an  accident  happened  to  me. 
This  changed  my  whole  life.  One  Sunday  my  youngest  sister  and 
myself  mounted  two  horses,  at  4  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  to  go 
after  the  cows  and  drive  them  home.  It  was  raining  when  we  found 
the  cattle.  We  were  two  miles  from  home.  We  found  them  in 
a  low  gulch.  My  sister,  Ellen,  started  in  ahead  of  me,  as  she  was 
riding  a  young  horse  that  I  had  lately  broke  for  the  saddle.  I 
thought  it  best  to  ride  an  older  horse  into  such  a  miry  place  as  it 
was,  but  not  realizing  it  was  so  bad.  I  rode  in  to  drive  the  cat- 
tle out,  when  my  horse  went  down  into  the  mud.  He  began  to 
jump  and  flounder  around  so  I  was  afraid  he  would  fall  on  me, 
and  I  jumped.  As  I  did  so  the  horse  fell  and  fell  upon  me.  He 
lay  there  for  a  moment.  I  thought  he  had  crushed  every  bone  in 
my  body.  I  have  no  doubt  he  would  have  done  so  only  the  ground 
was  so  soft  and  muddy.  As  he  tried  to  get  his  legs  out  of  the  mud 
he  had  to  roll  back  upon  me.  As  he  did  I  thought  he  had  surely 
crushed  me.  Everything  turned  black,  and  for  a  moment  all  I 


32  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

could  see  was  stars.  The  horse  was  on  his  feet,  and  standing  over 
me.  "Ellen,"  I  said,  "O,  Ellen,  what  can  I  do?  I  am  helpless."  As 
I  spoke  the  horse  looked  around  to  see  where  I  was,  and  then,  as 
carefully  as  a  person  could,  he  stepped  between  my  limbs  and  went 
out  on  the  bank  and  stopped.  Then  I  tried  to  get  on  my  feet,  but 
I  could  not.  I  said :  "Ellen,  my  knee  is  out  of  place."  Ellen  started 
for  her  horse  at  once.  She  had  let  go  and  was  standing  at  my 
side.  As  she  was  climbing  the  bank  I  tried  again  to  get  to  my 
feet.  As  I  did  so  I  heard  the  bones  grind,  one  against  the  other. 
It  moved  as  though  it  was  tied  to  me.  Then  I  said:  "Ellen,  my 
limb  is  broken."  I  sank  back  into  the  mud  to  wait,  for  Ellen  had 
mounted  her  horse  and  was  going  at  a  rapid  speed  toward  home. 
It  was  not  long  till  father  came,  and  brother  Marion.  He  was  at 
home  at  the  time,  just  recovering  from  a  severe  illness  from  an 
abscess  in  his  left  side  that  almost  cost  him  his  life.  As  father 
knelt  down  and  took  hold  of  my  knee,  he  said :  "I  can  put  your 
knee  in  place  and  it  will  be  all  right,  then  you  can  get  on  a  horse 
and  ride  home."  I  said :  "Father,  my  limb  is.  broken,  and  I 
cannot  ride  on  a  horse."  It  was  broken  half  way  between  the 
knee  ;and  the  hip.  I  turned  to  Ellen,  who  was  standing  near, 
and  said :  "Ellen,  why  did  you  not  tell  father  my  limb  was  broken, 
for  I  told  you  so  as  you  were  climbing  the  bank.  Now  I  must  lie 
here  in  all  this  mud  and  rain  till  they  go  back  and  get  the  spring 
wagon  and  drive  away  out  here."  I  was  crying  now,  for  by  this 
time  my  limb  was  paining  me.  Its  sensitiveness  was  returning. 
Ellen  replied :  "Rachel,  I  did  not  hear  you  tell  me.  All  I  hard 
you  say  was  that  your  knee  was  out  of  place,  and  I  did  not  realize 
anything  till  I  rode  up  to  the  gate  and  told  what  happened."  She 
was  so  frightened  she  had  not  heard  what  I  said.  Father  said  to 
Marion :  "Let  us  put  her  on  my  overcoat,  and  you  take  hold  of 
two  corners  and  I  the  other  two,  and  carry  her  out  of  this  mud; 
and  then  you  go  for  the  wagon."  Marion  returned  shortly,  and 
laying  me  on  a  featherbed,  they  put  me  in  the  bottom  of  the  wagon. 
I  shall  never  forget  what  I  suffered  traveling  those  two  miles. 
It  seemed  ten  to  me.  There  was  no  road  for  over  a  mile,  nothing 
but  rocks  and  hills,  till  I  thought  it  was  more  than  I  could  bear. 
It  was  growing  late  when  we  reached  home.  My  brother  held  up 
one  of  the  hind  wheels  part  of  the  way  home.  The  doctor  lived 
at  Lincoln  Center,  thirteen  miles  away.  When  Marion  got  to  the 
doctor's  office  he  found  he  had  been  called  out  into  the  country  and 
had  not  returned.  It  was  I  o'clock  that  night  when  the  doctor 
came.  My  limb  had  swollen  and  was  very  painful.  I  would  not 
take  anything  to  ease  the  pain,  as  I  wanted  to  see  the  work  done 
myself.  The  doctor  set  my  limb,  but  either  through  ignorance  or 


TO-DAY 

THE    AUTHOR    AFTER    TWENTY    YEARS*    WORK    IN    THE    SLUMS    OF    DENVER 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  33 

carelessness,  it  .was  improperly  done,  and  left  me  a  cripple  for  life. 
I  think  it  was  through  ignorance.  He  did  not  seem  to  know  how 
to  handle  a  broken  limb.  He  would  take  hold  of  my  foot  and 
pull  my  limb  straight,  and  then,  having  forgotten  something  on 
the  stand,  would  let  go  and  the  cords  would  draw  it  up  in  the 
same  position  it  was  when  it  was  broken.  I  had  suffered  enough 
already  without  suffering  from  his  carelessness.  I  raised  up  in  bed 
and  said:  "Doctor,  the  next  time  you  take  hold  of  my  foot  and 
pull  my  limb  straight,  don't  let  it  go,  but  let  my  brother  hold  my 
foot."  He  did  so  with  the  remark  that  I  was  a  gritty  little  girl  to 
sit  up  in  bed  and  give  orders  as  I  did.  The  bone  was  broken  slant- 
ing, and  the  doctor  lapped  the  bone,  and  now  it  is  an  inch  and 
a  half  shorter  than  the  other  limb.  If  he  had  not  been  a  poor  sur- 
geon, he  would  not  have  left  it  as  he  did.  Instead  of  putting  my 
limb  in  a  trough,  and  putting  a  weight  to  my  foot,  he  put  four 
simple  slats,  one  on  the  top,  one  on  each  side,  and  one  on  the 
bottom  part  of  my  limb;  and  when  I  would  go  to  sleep  the  nerves 
and  muscles  would  cause  the  whole  limb  to  jump  up  from  the 
bed,  and  cause  me  to  cry  out  in  the  midnight  hour,  to  wake  up 
all  in  the  house.  It  took  twice  as  long  for  the  bone  to  knit,  being 
left  in  this  condition.  I  do  not  remember  how  long  I  lay  there. 
The  mattress  had  moulded  under  me,  and  one  of  the  slats  fell 
from  under  my  hip,  and  I  had  large  bed  sores  on  my  hip.  They 
tried  to  take  me  up,  and  as  they  did  I  fainted  from  weakness  and 
the  pain  in  my  limb.  They  would  all  go  out  into  the  field  and 
leave  me  alone  till  noon.  They  would  eat  their  dinner  and  give 
me  my  dinner,  set  a  glass  of  water  on  a  chair  by  my  bed  and  leave 
me  till  night.  When  they  would  come  into  my  room,  oh,  how  I 
would  beg  them  to  rub  my  foot.  It  seemed  the  blood  had  all 
stopped  in  my  foot,  and  that  it  would  surely  burst.  I  had  no  appe- 
tite, and  it  was  so  hard  for  me  to  eat  common  food.  Father  had 
forbidden  mother  to  give  me  any  dainties,  but  mother  watched  her 
chances  and  gave  me  things  that  I  could  eat.  She  would  rub  my  foot 
till  she  fell  asleep ;  she  was  so  tired,  having  worked  hard  in  the  field 
all  day.  When  they  raised  me  from  the  bed  to  fix  it,  great  drops 
of  sweat  stood  on  my  face  from  pain.  Father  would  always  say: 
"Rachel,  you  are  going  to  be  a  cripple  all  your  life  from  your 
own  carelessness."  I  knew  I  was  not  to  blame,  and  said :  "Father, 
I  will  never  be  a  burden  on  you.  I  will  beg  from  door  to  door 
first."  I  had  not  been  on  my  crutches  long  when  I  fell  on  the 
kitchen  floor  and  hit  my  limb  on  the  corner  of  the  woodbox,  and 
was  again  obliged  to  take  to  my  bed.  My  limb  swelled  up  and 
turned  blue,  till  we  were  afraid  something  serious  would  come 
from  the  fall.  Mother  bathed  it  till  the  swelling  went  down,  and 

3 


34  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

I  was  soon  on  my  crutches  again.  All  the  work  I  could  do  was  to 
wash  dishes  for  mother.  I  would  set  my  crutches  against  the  wall 
and  stand  on  one  foot.  One  day  father  thought  if  I  could  help 
mother,  I  surely  could  do  chores  about  the  barn,  so  one  day  he 
went  to  Lincoln  Center  and  brought  home  some  marbles.  After  sup- 
per we  all  went  out  into  the  yard  to  watch  Charlie  and  Ellen  and 
Willie  play  marbles,  and  father  asked  me  to  play.  I  thought  to 
please  him  I  would.  I  held  onto  my  crutches  and  leaned  over  on 
one  of  them,  putting  the  other  on  the  ground,  without  touching  my 
foot  to  the  ground.  He  said  if  I  could  play  and  wash  dishes  I 
could  do  more.  He  told  me  to  take  two  buckets  of  bran,  that  was 
already  mixed  up,  out  to  the  cows  at  the  barn.  I  hooked  my 
thumbs  in  the  bale,  and  fingers  around  my  crutches,  and  was  com- 
pelled to  stop  twice  before  I  got  to  the  barnyard.  I  managed  to 
get  them  to  the  barn  all  right,  I  said  to  myself:  "This  will  be 
the  last  till  I  get  well."  He  followed  me  out  to  the  barn  and 
said:  "You  did  that  all  right,  come  now,  and  help  me  top  off  this 
stack  of  hay."  He  was  going  to  Salina  the  next  day,  and  he  did 
not  like  to  leave  the  stack  of  hay  without  being  topped  off,  for 
should  it  rain,  the  stack  of  hay  would  be  spoiled.  I  thought  to 
myself:  "How  in  the  world  can  I  do  that?"  I  had  never  said 
"no"  to  father,  and  I  did  not  like  to  now,  so  I  pulled  myself  up 
the  ladder  with  most  all  my  weight  on  my  hands.  He  gave  me 
one  crutch  to  balance  myself.  I  would  sink  into  the  hay  so  it 
would  bend  my  limb,  and  I  thought  before  I  could  get  down  my 
limb  would  break.  I  threw  my  crutch  and  told  him  if  he  did 
not  let  me  down  on  the  ladder  I  would  jump  if  it  broke  every 
bone  in  my  body;  so  he  let  me  down  and  said  I  could  if  I  only 
thought  so.  He  also  said  I  would  never  be  able  to  earn  my  bread ; 
so  that  night  I  made  up  my  mind  to  leave  home.  Father  was 
up  early  in  the  morning  and  ready  to  start  to  Salina  by  sunrise. 
After  breakfast  I  told  mother  that  I  intended  to  go.  She  said : 
"My  child,  what  can  you  do  in  this  world,  a  cripple?"  I  replied: 
"Mother,  do  you  think  it  could  be  any  worse?"  She  said:  "My 
child,  you'll  see." 

CHAPTER  III. 

ABOUT  ten  o'clock  I  put  on  my  sunbonnet  and  told  mother  I 
was   going.     How   little  did   I   know   what   I   was   doing — 
going  out  into  the  cold  and  unfriendly  world,  alone  and  almost 
on  one   foot.     Mother  went  with  me  to  the  gate,   overcome   with 
grief.     I  shall  never  forget  the  look  on  her  face  as  she  kissed  me 
and  said:     "Rachel,  be  a  good  girl,  and  I  will  pray  for  you."     I 
kissed  her,  and  then  left  my  home,  fully  determined  never  to  re- 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  35 

turn.  The  sun  was  hot,  and  the  hot  winds  were  blowing  in  my  face. 
I  started  for  a  farm-house  two  miles  away,  on  my  crutches,  for 
I  could  not  yet  bear  my  weight  on  my  foot.  I  came  to  the  door 
of  Mr.  Johnson  and  rapped.  Mrs.  Johnson  came  to  the  door.  "Why, 
Rachel,  what  are  you  doing  here?"  she  asked.  I  told  her  I  had  left 
home  and  I  wanted  work.  She  said :  "Child,  what  can  you  do  ?" 
I  felt,  after  that  long  walk,  that  I  could  do  nothing.  There  were 
large  blisters  under  my  arms,  almost  as  large  as  a  hen's  egg.  I  told 
her  if  she  would  let  me  I  could  herd  the  cattle.  The  boy  they  had 
herding  the  cattle  was  a  strong  boy  and  could  work  at  anything. 
She  said  she  would  see  her  husband,  that  he  would  be  home  at 
I  o'clock.  She  gave  me  my  dinner  and  I  waited.  When  he  came 
she  went  out  to  the  barn  and  told  him  what  I  wanted.  He  came  in 
and  laughed  at  me,  and  said?  "Well,  Rachel,  do  you  want  to  be 
my  boy  now?"  I  told  him  I  would  like  to,  if  he  would  let  me. 
He  did  not  decide  till  he  was  ready  to  go  back  to  work,  and  then 
he  said :  "Yes,  Rachel,  you  may  be  my  boy  if  you  want  to.  You 
can  go  out  with  the  herd  in  the  morning."  Oh,  how  happy  I  was. 
I  tended  the  cattle  till  in  November,  when  it  was  time  to  turn  them 
into  the  corn-stalks.  Then  I  did  not  know  what  to  do.  I  had 
money  enough  to  get  my  winter  clothing.  My  leg  was  still  hurting 
me.  For  a  month  after  I  started  to  herd  Mr.  Johnson's  cattle  I 
would  take  a  pillow  with  me,  and  put  it  under  my  limb,  and  fasten 
my  crutches  to  the  saddle  side.  I  could  not  do  any  hard  work. 
After  I  was  through  herding  I  helped  Mrs.  Johnson  gather  her 
garden.  The  last  day's  work  in  the  garden  was  gathering  beans. 
I  went  alone  to  gather  them,  down  in  the  bend  of  the  river,  a  half 
mile  from  the  house.  I  picked  my  last  bean  as  the  sun  was 
going  down.  I  took  my?  basket  and  sat  down  on  the  ground 
and  said:  "What  in  this  world  will  I  do?"  I  shall  never 
forget  my  sad,  lonely  heart.  My  desire  was  so  strong  I  almost 
could  see  a  closed  carriage  coming  up  the  road  to  take  me  away. 
Father  used 'to  read  to  us  children  stories  about  people  carrying 
children  away.  I  do  not  know  why  I  should  feel  that  way,  only 
that  I  did  not  know  where  to  go  or  what  to  do.  Mrs.  Johnson 
had  no  work  for  me  in  the  winter,  and  I  told  her  I  would  not 
stay  there  unless  I  had  something  to  do.  But  she  kept  the  post- 
office,  which  gave  her  an  opportunity  to  find  a  place  for  me. 
I  found  work  at  a  neighbor's  close  by.  The  name  was 
Ball.  They  had  three  children.  I  washed  dishes  and  cared  for. 
the  children  till  spring.  My  limb  still  hurt  me.  Over  a  month 
before  I  left  this  place  I  was  not  able  to  carry  the  baby,  my  limb 
was  so. weak.  Not  being  able  to  do  the  work,  I  left  the  place  and 
went  to  my  eldest  brother's.  They  had  no  room  for  me,  for  they 


36  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

had  a  large  family,  and  enough  to  do  for  without  caring  for  me. 
The  dear  Lord  surely  opened  the  way  for  me.  It  was  at  my 
brother's  I  met  the  Reverend  Mr.  Seymore  and  his  wife,  and  they 
promised  to  give  me  a  home  for  my  labor,  not  by  adoption.  In 
the  same  spring,  in  June,  the  Methodist  conference  sent  them  west, 
out  to  Norton  Center.  I  had  a  home  with  them  for  two  years, 
during  which  time  I  tended  the  cow  and  horses  and  cleaned  the 
stable  and  washed  the  dishes  and  scrubbed  the  floors.  It  was  a 
nice  home,  only  at  times  she  was  real  cross  and  they  gave  me 
but  little  to  wear.  One  day  the  cow  pulled  up  her  picket-pin  and 
went  over  to  the  Commercial  hotel  barn  yard,  and  when  I  went 
over  to  get  her  the  landlady  came  out  and  asked  me  if  I  was  re- 
lated to  the  Seymores  in  any  way.  I  told  her  I  was  not.  She 
asked  me  why  I  stayed  there.  I  toli  them  I  had  no  place  to  go 
She  said :  "If  you  want  to,  you  can  come  here  and  work  for 
me,  and  I  will  pay  you  wages."  I  thanked  her  and  took  the  cow 
back  to  the  house  and  made  up  my  mind  the  next  time  she  scolded 
me  I  would  leave.  This  was  Saturday  evening.  We  got  along  all 
right  till  Monday  morning,  when  she  told  me  to  take  the  pies  out 
of  the  oven.  When  I  did  so  I  let  one  fall.,  She  gathered  a  stick 
of  stove-wood  and  called  me  a  little  villain  and  came  toward  me. 
I  said :  "Mrs.  Seymore,  if  you  hit  me  I  will  strike  back,  for  I'm 
the  biggest;"  and  I  was,  too,  for  she  was  a  little  woman,  and  I 
,  think  she  thought  the  best  thing  she  could  do  was  to  let  me  alone. 
I  told  her  I  would  stay  no  longer.  I  would  leave  after  dinner. 
While  we  were  having  the  trouble  Mr.  Seymore  came  in  and 
settled  us.  I  went  to  unhitch  the  horses;  as  he  had  just  driven 
up.  He  had  come  from  Leota,  one  of  his  appointments.  I  always 
cared  for  the  horses.  While  I  was  busy  with  the  horses  Mrs. 
Seymore  told  him  that  I  was  going  to  leave  after  dinner.  It  was 
the  last  time  I  ever  unhitched  horses,  even  to  this  day.  After  din- 
ner was  over  I  washed  the  dishes.  Mrs.  Seymore  went  into  the 
parlor  and  Mr.  Seymore  tried  to  get  me  to  stay.  I  told  him  I  would 
not,  so  I  washed  my  feet  and  put  on  my  shoes  and  stockings,  for 
I  always  went  barefooted  except  on  Sundays.  It  was  the  last  time 
I  went  barefooted.  I  bundled  up  my  few  belongings  and  went  to 
my  new  home.  It  was  a  little  bundle,  for  I  had  hardly  anything 
to  wear.  The  landlady  was,  indeed,  a  mother  to  me.  Every  spare 
moment  she  would  sit  down  to  her  machine  and  make  clothing  for 
me — underwear  and  everything. 

When  I  was  seventeen  years  old,  she  went  over  to  the  store 
and  bought  me  a  corset,  the  4irst  corset  I  ever  owned.  I  was 
seventeen  years  old  before  I  ever  owned  a  worsted  dress,  and 
that  was  fifteen  cents  a  yard.  I  thought  I  had  just  begun  to  live. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  37 

I  washed  dishes  and  pared  vegetables  and  tended  the  baby.  And 
when  my  limb  pained  me  she  would  let  me  rest.  She  was  like 
a  mother  to  me.  Along  in  the  fall  of  the  year  they  were  left  with- 
out a  diningroom  girl,  so  they  tried  to  get  me  to  take  the  dining- 
room  work.  I  had  always  lived  a  life  away  from  everybody. 
While  at  the  minister's  house  I  was  always  in  the  kitchen,  or 
stable,  or  back  yard,  and  you  must  know  by  this  it  was  a  cross 
for  me  to  go  from  the  barnyard  to  a  diningroom  which  was 
so  public.  What  made  it  so  hard  for  me  was  that  I  knew  I  did 
not  know  anything.  I  knew  I  looked  green  and  ignorant,  and 
I  knew  everybody  knew  it — at  least  I  thought  so.  I  thought  they 
looked  at  me  that  way.  The  landlady  took  me  into  the  diningroom 
and  said  to  the  boarders :  "This  is  our  new  diningroom  girl,  and 
I  want  you  all  to  be  good  to  her,  and  if  she  makes  a  mistake 
you  must  overlook  it  till  she  learns  the  work,  then  everything  will 
be  all  right."  The  landlady  helped  me  out  at  dinner  and  supper,  and 
it  was  not  long  till  I  became  a  first-class  waitress.  I  could  not  be 
beaten.  A  long  time  afterward  the  boarders  would  speak  of  my 
first  two  days  in  the  diningroom.  I  soon  realized  a  truth  I  never 
knew  before.  I  began  to  have  admirers,  and  the  truth  of  the  mat- 
ter was  they  all  talked  alike,  so  sweet,  married  and  single  alike.  I 
knew  so  well  I  was  not  sweet,  and  that  something  was  wrong.  And 
a  thing  I  knew  (and  I  always  was  on  that  line  and  I  am  now),  no 
one  could  turn  me  from  it.  Thank  God  for  a  will  of  my  own.  One 
who  can  be  changed  with  every  influence  only  makes  a  failure  in 
this  life,  man  or  woman.  Before  God  I  do  believe  I  would  have 
been  taken  in  if  I  had  not  realized  my  ignorance  all  the  time,  and 
knew  they  could  not  mean  what  they  said.  I  thought  that,  being 
so  ignorant,  they  would  be  ashamed  of  me.  I  could  hardly  read, 
'I  could  not  write,  I  could  not  cook  a  meal,  I  could  not  sew.  Just 
put  me  in  a  barn  and  I  was  all  right.  I  had  not  been  long  in 
the  diningroom  till  I  found  out  that  a  waitress  was  not  considered 
much.  They  were  called  biscuit-shooters.  I  learned  afterwards 
that  many  of  the  girls  had  listened  to  the  flattering  words  of  men — 
men  who  were  looking  for  just  such  prey — and  the  girls  had  been 
their  victims.  So  many  of  those  fine,  smooth  talkers,  who  wore 
good  clothes,  would  get  hold  of  those  simple-minded  girls  who  did 
not  stop  to  think  that  looks  were  only  skin  deep.  There  never 
was  any  temptation  for  me,  for  I  knew  I  was  a  poor,  ignorant  girl. 
So  many  of  those  girls  have  no  good,  Christian  mothers  to  pray  for 
them,  as  I  had,  for  I  knew  my  mother  was  praying  God  to  pro- 
tect her  girl. 

Another  thing  that  helped  me  was  that  I  was  a  poor  cripple. 
After  I   went  into   the   diningroom   I   saw   very   plainly  that  if   I 


38  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

did  not  learn  to  walk  without  limping  I  could  never  learn  to  be 
a  waiter,  so  I  would  walk  back  and  forth  on  the  floor  till 
I  learned  to  bend  my  knee  so  it  would  let  me  down  without  limp- 
ing. If  I  put  a  thick  sole  on  my  shoe  my  feet  would  not  make 
the  same  sound  in  walking.  I  could  not  walk  that  way,  so  I  taught 
myself  to  walk  in  letting  myself  down.  It  was  very  tiresome  till 
I  learned  to  walk  that  way.  '  I  think  my  being  a  cripple  helped  me 
to  believe  that  no  one  cared  for  me.  That  is  why  I  give  myself 
more  credit  for  not  believing  the  flattering  words  of  so  many  who 
have  evil  objects. 

I  will  tell  of  one  who  tried  so  hard  to  get  me  to  listen  to 
him.  He  was  a  married  man,  and  had  a  little  girl  two  years  old. 
Oh,  the  curse  that  might  have  come  upon  him  or  his  children 
if  he  had  accomplished  his  fiendish  object.  The  chambermaid  of 
the  hotel  said  one  day:  "Rachel,  let  us  leave  town.  It  is  a  dan- 
gerous place  here  for  you.  You  may  get  into  some  kind  of  trouble 
yet  if  you  stay  at  the  hotel."  I  was  only  too  glad  to  go.  Mollie's 
brother  came  into  town  that  afternoon  and  told  Mollie  he  was 
going  to  Hastings,  Neb.,  with  a  load  of  wheat.  He  was  to  leave 
town  in  two  hours  for  his  home,  and  he  would  stop  to  see  if  we 
made  up  our  minds  to  go.  We  talked  it  over  and  made  up  our 
minds  to  get  ready  and  go  home  with  him,  so  we  packed  our  trunks. 
Mollie  had  given  me  one,  for  I  had  no  trunk  of  my  own.  In 
two  hours  we  were  all  ready.  We  stayed  all  night  at  her  home, 
and  -the  next  morning  we  were  on  our  way  to  Hastings  on  a  load 
of  wheat.  We  arrived  there  all  right.  Mollie's  brother  was  ac- 
quainted with  the  landlord  of  the  Commercial  hotel,  and  we  went 
to  work  the  next  morning. 

CHAPTER  IV. 

{WORKED  there  over  a  year,  when  a  fire  burned  out  the  Commer- 
cial   hotel.      I    worked   in    a    short-order    restaurant    for    eight 
months   after   the  fire,   when   the   landlord   of  the   Commercial 
started    a    private   boarding   house,    and    I    went    to    work    for 
him  again.    Hastings  was  a  little  town,  then  with  one  railroad.     A 
few  months  after  another  was  built  through  the  little  town,  mak- 
ing things  more  lively.     I  remained  there  two  years,  and  hearing 
a  good  deal  of  Denver,  I  determined  to  start  for  Colorado.     This, 
also,  was  a  trip  across  the  country  in  a  covered  wagon.     We  ar- 
rived in  Denver  in  the  latter  part  of  July.     This  was  in  1880,  and 
was  the  last  journey  in  a  wagon.     We  found  the  Colorado  metrop- 
olis to  be  a  primitive  and   thinly  populated   town.     The   family  I 
came  to  Denver  with  were  named  White.     Thev  had  two  children. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  39 

We  camped  near  the  Union  depot,  on  the  banks  of  the  Platte 
river.  I  went  to  work  in  a  large  restaurant  on  the  corner  of  Six- 
teenth and  Blake  streets.  This  street  was  one  of  the  leading  streets 
of  Denver  at  that  time.  I  only  remained  there  a  short  time.  As  I 
was  standing  in  the  door  one  afternoon  looking  out  a  gentleman 
passed  by.  He  thought  he  knew  me.  He  turned  and  came  back. 
I  thought  I  knew  him.  "Isn't  this  you,  Rachel?"  he  said.  "I  never 
dreamed  of  seeing  you  out  here."  It  was  the  man  whom  I  had 
worked  for  in  the  short-order  restaurant.  He  invited  me  to  call 
on  them  and  I  told  him  I  would  the  next  day.  They  asked  me 
to  go  to  work  for  them.  I  went  to  work  for  them  the  next  day. 
Their  name  was  Turner.  There  I  met  Walter  Peterson,  and  was 
married  to  him  September  13,  1880.  I  met  Mr.  Peterson  on  Mon- 
day evening  and  four  weeks  from  that  Monday  we  were  married. 
No  one  knew  of  our  marriage  for  two  weeks.  I  told  the  cook 
and  she  could  not  keep  it,  and  it  was  not  long  before  everyone  in 
the  hotel  heard  the  news.  Then  I  stopped  work,  only  I  waited  table 
at  meal  times  till  the  landlady  could  get  a  girl.  Mr.  Peterson's  time 
had  just  expired.  He  had  only  been  out  of  the  army  a  few  months. 
He  was  not  working.  He  was  lucky  in  gambling.  When  I  found 
out  he  was  playing  cards  I  wished  him  bad  luck,  and  some  way 
or  other  he  could  not  win  another  dollar.  He  was  gone  all  day 
and  all  night,  and  came  home  the  next  afternoon  and  handed  me 
10  cents,  saying  it  was  all  the  money  he  had  in  the  world.  I 
told  him  I  was  glad  of  it.  Then  I  replied:  "Now  go  to  work." 
We  were  still  at  the  hotel.  He  waited  around  there  a  few  days, 
when  all  at  once  he  disappeared,  and  no  one  knew  where  he  had 
gone.  The  landlady  was  having  trouble  in  getting  a  diningroom 
girl,  and  I  told  her  I  would  go  to  work  again.  She  was  willing 
I  should.  I  waited  table  for  two  weeks,  and  one  evening  who 
should  walk  in  but  Mr.  Peterson?  I  was  sewing  when  he  came 
in.  Everyone  in  the  hotel  was  surprised  at  my  taking  it  so  cool. 
I  told  them  I  had  suffered  and  gone  through  too  much  for  a  little 
thing  like  that  to  trouble  me..  I  had  suffered  up  to  the  age  of 
eighteen  with  my  broken  limb.  I  was  nineteen  and  a  half  when 
I  was  married.  I  had  never  been  in  love  with  anyone,  and  was 
not  a  fool  in  that  line  at  this  time.  He  said:  "Well,  Rachel,  what 
shall  I  do?"  I  replied:  "Do  as  you  like."  "Well,  I  guess  I'll  go 
to  work,"  he  said.  He  got  work  in  the  lumber  yard.  He  did  not 
work  long  before  he  made  up  his  mind  that  it  was  too  hard,  and 
quit  work.  We  were  still  at  the  hotel.  In  a  few  days  he  went  down 
to  the  Union  Pacific  office  and  applied  for  work  as  a  car  repairer, 
and  got  it.  It  was  not  long  before  they  made  him  foreman  of  the 
car  inspectors.  He  held  this  position  almost  twelve  years,  when 


40  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

he  came  out  in  one  of  the  strikes,  and  never  went  back.  As  I  said, 
we  were  still  at  the  hotel.  It  was  the  spring  of  1881.  We  rented 
two  rooms,  furnished  them,  and  lived  there  a  few  months,  when  we 
bought  a  little  furniture  and  rented  a  small  house  for  $15  a  month. 
We  lived  here  only  six  weeks,  when  we  bought  a  little  house  on 
leased  ground  and  put  on  a  kitchen.  A  lady  stayed  with  us  and 
did  the  cooking.  I  had  not  learned  to  cook.  A  week  before  we  left 
the  hotel  a  letter,  with  no  name  signed  to  it,  came  to  Mr.  Peterson.  1 
never  knew  who  wrote  it.  I  think  it  was  the  landlady.  Her  son  and  I 
had  had  a  few  words.  I  was  justified  in  what  I  said.  She  was  evi- 
dently trying  to  get  even  with  me.  She  thought  that  I  ought  to 
take  what  the  boy  said  and  say  nothing.  In  this  letter  she  told 
him  to  watch  me.  I  knew  before  this  that  he  was  of  a  very  jealous 
disposition.  We  had  had  a  little  trouble,  but  nothing  that  amounted 
to  anything.  He  told  me  his  father  and  two  brothers  were  of 
a  jealous  disposition,  and  he  said:  "Rachel,  I  do  believe  that  I 
am  cursed  with  jealousy."  I  believe  he  was,  for  after  we  had 
moved  up  to  our  little  home  I  had  a  croquet  ground,  and  two  or 
three  of  the  girls  and  boarders  would  come  up  from  the  hotel  to 
play  croquet,  and  through  jealousy,  he  took  the  set  from  me.  I 
thought  this  would  break  my  heart.  I  said  nothing.  If  I  did  the 
people  would  say:  "What  is  it  she  does?"  I  knew,  and  God 
knows,  I  was  as  innocent  of  anything  wrong  as  a  new-born  babe. 
I  thought  what  a  disgrace  it  would  be  for  anything  like  that  to 
be  known.  I  could  not  stand  it.  Everyone  at  the  hotel  would 
ask,  when  they  met  me,  if  I  had  been  sick.  I  told  them  I  had  not. 
After  we  bought  the  little  house,  I  thought,  it  being  near  Mr. 
t  Peterson's  work,  he  would  not  be  like  that.  Since  it  was  so  near 
'  his  work  (and  he  worked  nights)  he  would  come  up  at  all  times 
of  the  night,  but  this  seemed  to  do  no  good.  He  was  cursed  with 
this  awful  jealousy.  I  could  not  help  thinking  he  would  see  for 
himself  and  stop.  There  was  a  friend  of  ours  and  his  wife  who 
wanted  us  to  go  into  the  hotel  business.  We  sold  out  the  little 
house  and  started  the  hotel.  This  was  in  the  fall.  We  had  been 
married  one  year.  We  were  there  a  few  months  and  it  was  the 
same  old  thing.  We  sold  out  and  bought  a  house  and  lot  in  North 
Denver.  Then  we  sold  the  house  and  lot.  While  in  the  hotel 
I  left  him.  I  thought  it  would  make  him  better.  I  did  not  in- 
tend to  leave  him  for  good.  This  did  not  seem  to  make  him  any 
different.  While  we  lived  on  the  North  Side  it  was  cold  weather.. 
We  had  trouble,  and  I  left  him  again  and  came  over  in  the  city, 
for  at  this  time  the  place  where  we  lived  was  almost  in  the  country. 
He  came  after  me  the  next  day.  I  told  him  I  would  not  go  back 
over  there.  Then  we  rented  two  rooms  in  a  house  with  another 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  4! 

family.  This  lady  had  a  son  and  daughter.  Then  we  bought  a 
restaurant  with  a  partner.  We  did  well.  If  it  had  not  been  for 
this  curse  we  could  have  done  splendid,  but  we  sold  out  again 
and  started  to  keep  house.  We  lived  there  through  the  winter, 
and  then  we  moved  up  to  Twenty-fourth  and  Larimer  streets.  This 
was  in  the  spring  of  the  year.  I  took  a  trip  home,  to  Kansas,  to 
see  my  folks  for  two  weeks,  and  then  returned  home.  I  was  so 
unhappy  it  seemed  there  was  nothing  for  me.  I  loved  my  home ; 
no  one  could  love  home  better  than  I  did.  No  one  could  have 
been  happier  than  I  could  have  been  if  things  had  been  halfway 
right.  We  had  been  married  four  years.  The  first  two  years  I 
tried  so  hard  to  see  if  I  could  not  break  him  of  his  jealousy.  The 
last  two  years  of  the  four  I  was  almost  desperate.  I  thought  to 
myself,  what  is  the  use  of  living.  I  had  put  on  my  hat  and  gone 
to  the  door  and  said :  "Things  can  go  to  the  devil.  I  will  not 
try  to  live  right  any  longer."  With  the  doorknob  in  my  hand, 
I  said:  "No,  never,  I  cannot  do  that."  The  blood  would  chill  in 
my  veins  at  the  very  thought  of  things  like  that.  I  said:  "No,  I 
will  not,  after  twenty- four  years ;  a  cripple  and  an  ignorant  girl,  I 
had  kept  my  head  above  the  waves,  and  I  will  not  go  down  now. 
I  would  die  before  I  would."  Ah,  it  was  my  own  mother's  prayers 
that  helped  me,  and  kept  me  from  going  to  the  bottom.  It  seemed 
at  times  I  could  not  bear  to  live  such  a  life  as  I  was  living.  I 
could  not  see  why.  May  God  help  and  have  mercy  on  the  un- 
happy homes  of  this  world.  It  is  the  devil  that  takes  the  things  of 
this  world  and  uses  them,  with  our  dispositions  which  we  have  in- 
herited, and  causes  us  to  make  a  hell  of  this  world  for  one 
another.  It  was  this  that  made  my  home  a  hell  on  earth,  for 
him  and  myself.  When  I  married  him  I  did  not  know  his  dispo- 
sition. I  did  not  know  one  card  from  another.  I  did  not  know 
what  beer  tasted  like,  and  to  swear  I  thought  an  awful  thing. 
A  little  over  two  years  and  I  could  play  cards  and  drink  beer 
and  swear;  and  I  went  to  balls  and  card  parties.  I  had  attended  but 
one  or  two  balls  before  I  was  married.  I,  being  a  cripple,  could 
not  dance,  as  my  limb  was  not  strong  enough  at  that  time.  It  was 
not  long  till  I  learned  to  love  the  ballroom  and  the  card  parties. 
My  husband  kept  at  me  till  he  taught  me  to  drink  beer.  I  became 
fond  of  the  taste,  and  could  drink  with  him  at  any  time.  Still 
this  did  not  make  our  home  any  happier.  I  do  not  know  where  I 
would  have  been  had  it  not  been  for  mother's  prayers — if  she 
had  not  taught  me  as  she  did.  It  seemed,  in  my  desperate  times, 
when  my  wicked  temper  would  get  the  best  of  me,  I  was  almost 
ready  to  kill.  I  would  get  so  angry  it  seemed  I  could  almost  call 
brimstone  from  the  other  world.  Think  of  it !  Ah,  how  one  can 


42  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL  .   WILD 

be  driven  by  sin!  I  knew  he  was  to  blame,  and  that  is  why  I 
could  not  see  my  sins.  I  knew  if  things  were  half-way  right  I 
would  not  be  so  desperate.  It  was  not  my  disposition,  and  God 
knows  it.  If  the  Lord  had  not  reached  down  his  loving  hand  and 
saved  me,  I,  perhaps,  would  be  in  hell  to-day,  or  in  a  worse  place 
here  on  earth.  Only  God  knows  where  I  would  have  been.  I 
would  get  so  angry — I  had  stood  his  fault-finding  and  his  mis- 
trusting me  so  long — and  then  I  tell  you  things  would  have  to 
stand  around.  I  would  throw  a  stove-hook,  or  a  dish,  or  any- 
thing I  could  get  hold  of  at  him.  I  have  found  out  since  there  is 
more  than  one  man  like  that  in  this  world — plenty  of  them. 

Once,  when  I  was  beside  myself  with  anger,  I  threw  the  chairs 
into  the  middle  of  the  floor  and  wanted  him  to  set  fire  to  them. 
He  would  not,  and  I  began  curs.ing  him.  The  doors  and  the  win- 
dows were  open,  and  the  neighbors  on  each  side  of  us  heard  me 
and  came  out  to  see  what  was  the  matter.  When  I  saw  them  it 
only  made  me  the  more  angry,  and  I  turned  on  them  and  cursed 
them  as  hard  as  I  did  my  husband.  They  got  into  their  houses 
faster  than  they  came  out;  then  I  turned  on  him  again,  and  he 
got  out,  too.  I  knew  all  the  time  I  did  nothing  to  justify  him 
acting  as  he  did.  ;' I  knew  there  was  no  cause  for  us  living  as  we 
did;  and  when  I  did  get  started  I  stopped  for  nothing.  O,  how  I 
could  hate!  If  anyone  would  have  told  me  I  could  have 'gotten 
into  a  state  like  that,  you  could  not  have  made  me  believe  it.  I 
am  not  alone.  There  are  other  unhappy  homes.  This  was  the  way  I 
lived  for  four  years.  I  have  told  you  enough  to  let  you  know 
a  little  of  my  life  before  I  came  to  God,  then  you  can  understand 
me  as  you  read  this  book.  When  I  would  think  of  my  unhappy 
childhood  days,  my  life  as  a  young  girl,  then  my  married  life;  of 
how  I  had  suffered  in  body  as  a  cripple,  and  in  heart;  of  my  life 
out  in  the  world  without  a  friend,  not  knowing  how  to  do  anything 
except  on  a  farm,  not  in  the  house,  but  in  the  barnyard  and  corn- 
field ;  and  having  no  schooling — I  believe  not  more  than  a  year. 
When  I  was  married  I  could  not  prepare  a  meal.  I  bought  a  cook- 
book and  it  was  not  long  till  I  could  cook  everything.  I  learned 
to  sew  by  ripping  a  garment  up,  pressing  it,  and  cutting  another 
by  it.  As  I  said,  when  I  thought  of  my  life,  with  not  one  little 
spot  of  sunshine  as  large  as  my  hand  anywhere  in  it,  it  did  seem 
hard,  and  more  than  I  could  bear.  So  one  morning  at  9  o'clock, 
in  one  of  those  trials  that  I  lived  in  for  four  years,  I  was 
walking  the  floor,  and  putting  my  hands  together,  I  stopped  walk- 
ing, and  looking  up  to  Heaven  said:  "Oh,  God,  if  there  is  a  God, 
why  do  I  have  to  live  like  this?  What  have  I  done  that  I  must  live 
in  such  a  hell?"  Strange,  indeed,  that  I  should  ask  if  there  be 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  43 

a  God,  when  three  times  in  my  life  I  had  had  an  experience  that 
taught  me  there  is  a  God. 

When  I  was  only  7  years  old  I  had  a  dream.  I  dreamed  I  was 
in  heaven.  I  was  afraid,  and  thought  a  woman  came  up  to  me.  1 
dreamed  it  was  God's  wife.  It  all  seemed  so  real  to  me.  She 
was  dressed  in  black,  with  a  black  bonnet.  She  looked  like  a 
Catholic  sister.  I  could  not  help  thinking  of  my  dream  the  first 
time  I  saw  a  Catholic  sister.  No  one  could  make  me  believe  that 
there  are  no  Catholics  in  heaven,  for  I  know  there  are,  without 
a  doubt.  There  are  good  and  bad  in  all  churches,  but  those  that 
believe  in  Christ  have  a  hope  of  heaven.  When  I  awoke  in  the 
morning  I  did  not  wait  to  dress.  I  gathered  my  clothing  and 
down  the  stairs  I  went,  and  into  the  kitchen  to  tell  mother  I  was 
in  heaven  last  night,  and  dreamed  I  saw  God's  wife,  and  that 
she  gave  me  some  candy.  I  thought  God's  wife  told  me  that  God 
loved  little  children.  She  told  me  to  come  on  in  and  not  be 
afraid.  At  this  time  I  had  never  seen  a  Catholic  sister,  and  did 
not  know  there  was  such  in  the  world.  Another  time,  when  I  was 
9  years  old,  out  on  the  plains  of  Kansas,  herding  my  father's  cat- 
tle, the  Spirit  of  the  Lord  came  to  me.  I  did  not  know  it  was 
the  influence  of  the  Spirit,  for  none  of  us  had  been  to  church  or 
Sunday-school,  there  being  none  to  go  to.  All  we  knew  was  that 
mother  had  taught  us.  When  I  felt  the  Spirit  it  made  me  feel 
that  I  was  wicked,  and  I  asked  myself:  "What  have  I  done  that 
is  wicked?"  If  only  men  and  women  would  listen  to  their  im- 
pressions and  feelings  and  respond  to  them  in  word  and  thought, 
and  act  upon  them  as  children!  That  is  why  God  says  we  must 
become  as  little  children.  If  we  do  not,  our  conversion  is  not  real. 
(Matt.  18:3.)  It  was  as  easy  for  me  to  respond  to  the  feelings 
that  day  as  it  was  for  me  to  talk  to  myself  or  to  my  mother.  It 
was  speaking  to  my  own  feelings,  but  God  made  the  feelings.  The 
trouble  with  the  people  to-day  is  that  they  will  not  have  faith. 
They  will  not  recognize  the  feelings  when  they  come  and  talk 
with  God  as  they  would  talk  one  with  another. 

I  will  tell  you  how  they  came  to  me,  and  how  I  talked  to  them 
It  was  i  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  in  the  heat  of  the  day.  The  cows 
were  lying  down  and  sleeping,  and  I  was  sitting  on  my  horse  with 
the  reins  on  the  horse's  neck.  I  do  not  remember  what  I  was 
thinking  about.  I  know  it  was  not  church  or  heavenly  things,  and 
when  the  Spirit  of  conviction  came  over  me  I  did  not  know  that  was 
what  it  was  called.  All  I  knew  was  that  I  felt  very  wicked,  as 
though  I  had  done  something  wrong.  This  feeling  is  conviction ; 
and  it  always  comes  without  asking.  Then  it  is  when  the  Lord 
wants  us  to  talk  to  him.  This  was  the  first  time  I  ever  talked 


44  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

to  God.  There  are  thousands  that  will  not  stop  to  think.  I  said: 
"What  have  I  done  that  is  wicked?"  Mother  had  always  taught  us 
to  tell  her  the  truth  in  everything.  When  she  knew  we  could  have 
told  her  a  falsehood  and  gotten  out  of  a  whipping,  she  would  say: 
"Now,  children,  you  have  told  me  the  truth,  and  I  will  not  punish 
you."  Then  she  would  tell  us  how  God  hated  liars.  •  I  knew  it 
was  not  that  which  caused  me  to  feel  so  wicked.  I  went  back  over 
my  life.  At  last  I  thought  what  it  was.  I  believed  that  it  was  God 
who  made  me  think,  for  I  did  not  know  that  it  was  wrong,  and 
I  said :  "Lord,  I  did  not  know  that  this  was  wicked,  and  I 
want  you  to  forgive  me,  and  I'll  never  think  that  way  again."  How 
happy  I  was !  A  sweet,  peaceful  feeling  filled  my  heart.  I  could 
not  help  thinking  God  had  forgiven  me,  because  I  was  so  happy 
when  I  promised  God  I  would  stop  doing  wrong.  I  will  tell  you 
what  it  was.  We  children  thought  everyone  who  did  wrong  God 
would  kill.  None  but  God's  people,  and  those  who  did  right,  would 
God  let  live;  and  when  father  was  cross  to  mother  and  would 
scold  us  children  when  we  knew  we  had  done  nothing- wrong,  then 
we  would  look  for  the  lightning  to  strike  father.  Not  that  we 
wanted  it  to,  but  we  thought  that  was  the  way  God  did  with  people 
who  did  not  do  right.  That  was  the  only  thing  that  came  to  me 
that  was  wrong.  This  heavenly  feeling  stayed  with  me  for  two 
weeks  and  then  left  me.  I  did  not  know  then  why  the  sweet 
feeling  left  me.  I  was  too  young  to  know.  I  know  now  why  it 
was.  It  was  because  I  did  not  tell  it.  I  thought  if  I  went  to 
mother  as  I  did  about  the  dre&m  she  would  say,  "go  along,  child," 
and  laugh  at  me.  It  is  a  mistake  of  too  many  parents,  not  to 
give  more  attention  to  the  little  children.,  I  know  she  did  not 
think,  for  a  moment,  what  an  impression  the  dream  had  upon  me, 
and  how  it  kept  me  from  going  to  her  the  time  I  speak  of.  I  think 
if  I  had  gone  to  mother  this  time  she  would  have  listened  to  me, 
thinking  I  knew  what  I  was  talking  about.  I  did  not,  and  the  feel- 
ing left  me,  and  I  did  not  think  of  it  till  the  night  before  I 
was  converted.  Not  once  did  this  experience  ever  enter  my  mind. 
One  could  scarcely  believe  an  experience  of  that  kind  could  be 
forgotten.  It  might  not  by  an  older  person,  but  it  went  out  of 
my  life  entirely.  I  was  24  years  old  at  the  time  of  my  conver- 
sion. The  winter  before  I  was  converted  in  the  fall,  I  was 
very  sick,  and  wondered  if  my  time  had  come.  I  did  not  want 
to  die  in  that  way.  Not  that  I  was  afraid,  for  I  was  not.  I 
do  not  know  why  I  was  not  afraid,  for  I  was  not  ready  to  die. 
I  think  if  God  had  intended  to  take  me  I  would  have  felt  differently ; 
though  wicked  as  I  was,  I  did  not  see  myself  a  sinner,  and  did 
not  fear  the  judgment.  Neither  did  I  think  of  hell.  How  could 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  45 

I  come  to  God  in  my  blind  condition,  not  knowing  that  I  was 
a  sinner?  In  this  way,  with  a  black  heart  full  of  sin,  I  came 
and  talked  with  God.  Think  of  it !  I  did  not  ask  him  to  forgive 
me  as  a  sinner.  I  only  asked  him  if  he  would  spare  my  life  this 
time,  and  not  let  me  die  in  this  way.  I  would  be  willing  to  die  any 
other  way,  or  at  any  time.  It  was  so  much  like  taking  my  own 
life,  to  die  in  this  way.  Ah,  he  is  a  merciful  Father  indeed,  to 
hear  the  prayer  of  a  wicked  soul ;  for  it  was  a  prayer ;  prayer  is 
just  asking  God,  I  did  not  know  at  the  time  that  I  was  pray- 
ing. The  doctor  thought  my  time  had  come.  This  was  the  first 
of  February,  and  the  first  of  April  we  moved,  renting  from  Brother 
Ross,  whom  so  many  know,  on  Twenty-fourth  and  Larimer  streets. 

CHAPTER  V. 

WE  rented  from  a  minister.  I  had  little  use  for  ministers,  and 
less  for  their  wives,  as  it  was  a  minister's  wife  that  caused 
me  to  hate  religion  and  Christian  people.  I  thought  if  they 
would  go  to  church  and  sing  and  pray  and  talk,  and  then. (come  home 
and  be  ugly  and  cross  and  hateful,  they  were  no  better  than  I.  I 
know  there  are  times  when  anyone  would  be  impatient,  but  it  is  a 
poor  Christian  who  is  vexed  at  every  little  thing.  This  wife  of  the 
minister  from  whom  we  rented  was  a  Christian.  She  begged  me  for 
a  week  to  go  to  church.  She  asked  me  to  go  to  the  Tabernacle 
with  her.  They  were  holding  meetings  every  night.  I  said  to  her : 
"Mrs.  Ross,  I  cannot  go  to-night,  for  I  am  going  to  a  ball ;  but 
afterwards  I  will  go  till  you  will  be  tired  of  going.'*'  I  thought 
she  would  tire,  but  I  found  that  good  Christians  did  not  grow  tired 
of  church.  I  went  to  the  ball  that  night.  We  danced  till  almost 
morning,  and  Sunday  evening  I  went  to  church. 

Little  did  I  think  that  was  to  be  my  last  ball.  I  went  Sunday 
evening,  and  Monday  and  Tuesday  and  Wednesday  evenings.  Mrs. 
Spalti,  the  lady  who  lived  on  the  other  side  of  me,  asked  me  if 
I  would  not  be  a  Christian.  I  told  her  no,  I  would  not;  that  I  was 
as  good  as  she  or  anyone.  I  told  her  I  paid  my  debts,  and  owed 
not  a  cent  in  the  world,  and  that  was  more  than  half  the  Christians 
could  say.  "Oh,  Rachel,"  she  said,  for  they  all  called  me  Rachel, 
"good  Christians  will  pay  their  debts."  Then  I  told  her  the  church 
must  be  full  of  bad  ones.  I  asked  her  if  it  was  right  for  Christians 
to  go  in  debt;  that  if  it  was  thg  Lord  would  help  them  pay,  and 
that  they  never  would  owe  a  bill  they  could  not  pay,  if  God  was 
as  good  as  Christians  said  he  was.  "Another  thing,"  said  I,  "I  do 
by  others  as  I  wish  to  be  done  by,  and  I'm  good  to  the  poor; 
and  you  know,  Mrs.  Spalti,  that  I  would  do  anything  for  anyone 


46  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

who  was  sick.  Do  you  do  more  than  that?"  Many  times  we  do 
get  into  debt  when  I  believe  it  is  displeasing  to  God.  I  told 
her  I  never  would  be  a  Christian ;  that  I  never  harmed  anybody ;  that 
if  I  had  it  in  my  power  to  say  anything  about  them,  I  would  say 
the  world  is  rough  enough  without  me  harming  them.  I  felt  that 
I  was  so  honest  and  square  with  everyone,  that  it  blinded  me 
from  seeing  my  sin.  If  there  is  a  heaven  I'll  go  there.  I  will  run 
my  chances  with  any  church-member  I  ever  saw.  I  could  not  see 
why  Mrs.  Spalti  was  better  than  I. 

It  was  only  the  next  day  that  I  saw  the  difference.  She 
was  living  a  life  of  faith.  She  had  repented  of  her  sins  and  I 
had  not,  How  could  I  repent  when  I  felt  that  I  was  not  a  sinner? 
She  saw  she  could  do  nothing  with  me.  I  went  to  church  that 
evening.  I  stopped  and  got  a  lady  friend  to  go  with  me.  I  told 
Annie  how  they  were  urging  me  to  be  a  Christian.  I  made  light 
of  their  religion  to  her.  The  devil  that  night  helped  me  to  make 
witty  remarks  of  the  testimonies  of  those  who  testified.  I  had 
drav/n  the  attention  of  all  those  who  sat  around  me.  I 
would  not  have  blamed  them  if  they  had  put  me  out.  After  the 
meeting  was  over  and  we  were  going  down  the  steps,  I  said 
to  a  lady  friend,  in  a  light  way:  "I  believe  I  would  try  it  if  it 
were  not  for  being  -obliged  to  curse  my  husband  to  keep  him 
straight."  I  said  this  to  shock  the  Christians ;  for  I  knew  half 
of  them  were  no  better  than  I  was.  I  presume  a  good  many  of 
them  thought  that  night  that  I  was  far  from  the  kingdom,  but  I 
was  not.  At  9  o'clock  the  next  morning  the  Lord  came  to  me. 
Little  did  I  think  of  religion  that  night.  My  lady  friend,  Mrs.  Ross, 
Mrs.  Spalti,  her  daughter  and  I  walked  home  together.  They  said 
nothing  to  me  that  evening  about  being  a  Christian.  I  bade  them 
good  night,  and  asked  Mollie  if  she  would  come  in  awhile.  We 
were  sitting  at  the  table  eating  apple  pie  when  Mollie  said:  "Rachel, 
there  is  a  reality  in  religion."  She  was  a  dear,  sweet  girl,  and  the 
innocent  way  she  said  it  seemed  to  make  me  serious,  and  like  a 
flash  the  experience  I  had  when  I  was  9  years  old  came  to  me. 
Perhaps  you  think  I  was  not  surprised..  After  fifteen  years  it  was 
the  first  time  I  had  ever  thought  of  it.  I  said:  "Mollie,  seriously, 
if  I  could  feel  as  I  did  when  I  was  9  years  old  I  would  think 
there  was  something  in  it."  Then  I  told  her  my  experience,  and 
said:  "Isn't  it  strange  that  it  has  all  come  back  to  me  like  this?" 
It  was  the  Spirit.  It  was  all  so  fresh  in  my  mind  that  it  seemed 
but  a  few  years  since;  and  here  it  was  a  good  part  of  a  lifetime 
to  the  average  man.  I  bade  Mollie  good  night  and  went  to  bed. 
That  night  I  dreamed  I  was  in  a  prayer-meeting,  testifying.  It 
awakened  me  and  I  sat  up  in  bed  and  said  to  myself :  "If  I  do 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  47 

not  stop  talking  about  this  thing  and  stay  away  from  those  meet- 
ings, I  will  be  as  crazy  as  the  rest  of  them." 

The  next  morning  (I  do  not  remember  how  the  trouble  came 
up)  my  husband  and  1  had  a  few  words.  This  was  the  morning 
that  I  asked  God  what  I  had  done,  that  I  must  live  such  a  life, 
and  a  feeling,  or  a  thought,  or  an  impression,  I  don't  know  which, 
came  to  me  like  words,  saying:  "You  don't  have  to  live  this  way." 
The  words  from  a  person  would  not  have  had  more  effect.  Yet 
there  are  so  many  that  will  not  heed  feelings  and  thoughts  that 
come  to  them,  for  they  come  to  everyone  as  they  came  to  me.  The 
only  difference,  I  heeded  the  feeling,  which  was  God,  and  I  knew 
that  it  was  he  who  had  caused  the  feeling,  and  began  to  talk  to 
him.  I  did  not  drive  the  thought  away,  but  I  gave  it  earnest 
heed,  knowing  that  it  had  come  from  God.  It  was  only  four 
words,  "you  don't  have  to,"  that  came  to  me  in  thought,  and 
in  a  second  I  lifted  my  eyes  and  said:  "Lord,  I  will  do  anything, 
if  I  do  not  have  to  live  a  life  like  this."  We  must  come  to  that 
point  where  we  are  willing  to  do  anything,  and  be  enough  in  earnest 
to  turn  from  our  own  ways,  with  a  whole  heart.  I  meant  it 
more  than  I  ever  meant  anything  in  my  life,  when  I  said,  "Lord, 
I  will  do  anything,"  and  the  Lord  knew  I  meant  what  I  said,  anfl 
began  to  deal  with  me.  The  first  thing  he  showed  me  was  my  sin. 
The  fact  that  I  realized  that  I  was  a  sinner  convinced  me  that 
it  was  God  speaking  to  me.  I  did  not  stop  when  I  realized  that 
I  was  a  sinner  before  God.  If  I  had,  I  would  not  have  meant 
what  I  said.  It  would  have  proved  that  I  was  not  as  tired  of 
my  old  life  as  I  had  thought.  But  I  did  mean  it.  When  I  said  I 
would  do  anything,  I  meant  to  leave  the  world,  and  to  let  the 
world  know  I  was  going  to  live  a  different  life.  The  word  "any- 
thing" meant  more  than  I  had  any  idea  it  meant.  When  I  said, 
"Lord,  I  will  do  anything,"  the  Lord  knew  I  could  not  do  as  I 
said,  if  he  did  not  change  my  heart.  He  took  from  me  the  heart 
of  unbelief,  which  he  calls  a  heart  of  stone,  and  gave  me  a  heart 
of  flesh.  God  will  not  do  this  for  us  unless  we  are  willing,  ana 
how  can  we  be  willing  except  he  show  us.  The  first  thought  that 
came  to  me  was,  "what  have  I  done?"  for  I  had  not  wronged 
anyone.  I  had  always  been  true  and  honest  with  everyone.  I 
had  nothing  to  make  right  with  my  husband  or  anyone.  I 
knew  when  I  was  angry  enough  to  swear  it  was  because  I  was  ag- 
gravated. Dear  reader,  if  you  are  a  Christian,  one  who  has  been 
born  again,  one  who  knows  your  sins  are  forgiven,  you  will 
say  with  me,  you  felt  that  you  were  a  sinner.  We  are  helpless 
to  take  one  step  till  we  know  that  we  have  sinned  in  some  way. 
If  that  feeling  be  deep  enough,  the  Holy  Spirit  will  let  something 


48  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

come  to  our  minds  in  a  way  that  we  will  say,  ".Lord,  I  will 
stop,"  and  I  will  do  this  or  that.  But  if  you  say,  "I  will  not 
say  one  word,"  or  "I  will  not  do  anything,"  believe  me,  these 
decisions  will  shut  you  out  of  this  life.  But  you  must  say,  "I 
will,"  for  this  is  God's  plan,  and  we  must  yield  to  his  ways  and 
we  will  be  saved..  Now,  may  God  help  me  to  live  this  life  while 
I  write  it  in  a  way  that  you  may  know  the  result  of  saying,  "Lord, 
I  will  do  anything." 

When  the  feeling  came  that  I  had  done  wrong,  it  meant  that  it 
was  sin.  Oh,  if  people  only  would  think.  When  I  said  I  had 
wronged  no  one  the  Spirit  said :  "It  is  yourself.  You  are  an 
enemy  to  your  own  souL  It  is  not  so  much  the  sin  that  you  have 
done  to  others."  Then  the  Holy  Spirit  began  to  show  me  my 
sins.  It  came  to  me  that  it  was  wrong  to  swear.  I  had  always 
justified  myself,  before,  by  saying  that  it  was  my  husband's  fault. 
And  then  the  cards — although  I  had  not  played  for  money,  only 
for  pleasure — and  the  ballroom,  though  they  were  respectable — an  1 
the  drinking  of  wine  and  champagne  at  those  nice,  cultured  card 
parties.  I  thought  they  were  social,  and  they  never  seemed  to 
me  to  be  sinful.  Then  the  realization  of  my  sin  in  not  having 
a' family  came  to  me.  I  had  always  justified  myself  because  of 
my  own  home  being  so  disagreeable — anything  but  harmony — and 
I  said:  "I  will  never  raise  a  family  like  that."  This  my  husband 
agreed  to.  Thus  I  had  justified  myself  in  everything.  I  was  so 
blind  to  my  sin — as  everybody  is,  till  the  Holy  Spirit  convicts 
them — for  we  have  all  sinned.  So  far  as  we  know,  the  young  man 
spoken  of  in  the  bible  who  came  to  Christ,  had  not  committed  any 
of  these  sins,  yet  he  had  sinned,  for  God  says,  "We  have  all  sinned 
and  come  short  of  the  glory  of  God."  (Rom.  3:22,  23.)  This 
young  man  had  kept  the  law,  yet  he  had  fallen  short  in  some  way, 
for  we  can  sin  in  a  look  or  a  thought.  Matt.  5  128 :  "But  I  say  unto 
you,  That  whosoever  Tooketh  on  a  woman  to  lust  after  her,  hath 
committed  adultery  with  her  already  in  his  heart." 

"It  was  with  a  thought,"  I  said.  While  one  falls  short  in  one 
thing,  others  fall  short  in  something  else.  Many  are  going  down 
the  broad  road,  yet  they  do  not  know  it  until  the  Spirit  touches 
their  souls ;  and  then  they  can  see  themselves  as  sinners.  And 
if  the  Spirit  has  not  touched  your  soul  already,  may  he  do  so  while 
you  read  this.  If  not,  he  will  before  you  die.  There  has  never 
a  soul  left  this  world  without  feeling  himself  a  sinner  before  he 
died.  When  my  sins  came  to  me  I  said:  "Lord,  I  will  stop.  I 
will  never  go  to  another  ball ;  I  will  not  swear  again ;  I  will  never 
touch  another  glass  of  beer;  I  will  never  play  another  card.  Now, 
Lord,  forgive  me,  and  I  will  never  do  so  again."  This  was  at  nine 


BURNING  THE   CARDS 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  49 

in  the  morning.  Mr.  Peterson  had  gone  to  bed,  for  he  was  working 
nights.  I  felt  a  satisfaction — I  could  not  say  that  it  was  a  joy.  I 
only  felt  better  because  I  had  done  what  I  felt  was  right.  I  went 
from  the  diningroom  into  the  kitchen,  and  as  I  sat  down  the 
thought  came  to  me  to  burn  the  cards.  What  was  it  that  made  me 
think  of  burning  the  cards?  It  was  nothing  more  nor  less  than 
the  Holy  Spirit.  Why  should  these  thoughts  just  happen  to  come? 
What  caused! them  to  come?  I  had  no  thought  of  burning  the  cards. 
I  knew  it  was  the  Holy  Spirit,  because  I  would  never  listen  to 
anyone  in  regard  to  spiritual  things.  This  power,  which  was  the 
Spirit,  convicted  me  and  caused  me  to  heed,  for  there  was  nothing 
said  in  the  meetings  I  had  attended  to  impress  me.  But  this 
power  was  more  impressive  than  words ;  and  when  it  came  to  me 
to  burn  the  cards  I  believed  that  the  devil  would  not  put  a  thought 
like  that  into  my  mind-  I  told  the  Lord  I  would  burn  the  cards 
when  Mr.  Peterson  awakened,  for  the  cards  were  in  the  dresser 
drawer,  in  the  room  where  he  was  sleeping.  We  had  three  decks. 
Those  who  play  cards  know  that  after  they  have  used  them  a  while 
they  get  rough  and  curl  up  on  the  edge,  and  will  not  shuffle 
good ;  then  we  would  put  them  away  and  get  another  deck.  Every 
thought  that  came  to  me  that  I  knew  was  good  and  right,  I  would 
answer  as  if  talking  to  the  Lord — as  though  some  one  had  spoken 
to  me.  When  Mr.  Peterson  awoke  I  had  dinner  ready,  and  had  put 
up  his  lunch.  I  did  not  say  a  word  to  him. about  my  experience 
through  the  day.  I  had  hardly  gotten  through  asking  God  to  forgive 
me  when  the  mail  carrier  whistled,  and  I  went  to  the  gate  to  get  the 
mail.  He  handed  me  a  large  letter,  and  there  was  enclosed  within 
it  an  invitation  to  a  ball,  program  and  all.  It  was  an  invitation 
to  the  mail  carriers'  ball.  As  I  looked  at  it  I  thought  of  the  good 
times  I  would  have  that  winter  going  to  all  the  grand  balls  and  the 
nice  card  parties;  and  then  the  thought  came:  I  will;  I  will  go, 
and  then  in  the  spring  I  will  do  as  I  have  promised  the  Lord." 
Little  did  I  think  it  was  the  devil  putting  these  thoughts  into  my 
mind.  But  I  learned,  as  I  will  tell  you  later,  and  then  the  thought 
came  to  me,  "You  may  never  feel  this  way  again."  I  was  heeding 
every  thought  and  feeling  that  came  to  me,  and  as  that  thought 
came  I  was  thinking  to  myself,  "Well  when  I  promise  anything 
to  a  person  I  always  try  to  be  as  good  as  my  word."  And  there  I 
had  promised  God  to  live  differently,  and  when  the  thought  came, 
"You  may  never  feel  this  way  again,"  there  came  a  fear  over  me, 
and  I  told  the  Lord  then  I  would  do  as  I  had  promised.  I  had  only 
just  made  up  my  mind  when  there  was  a  rap  on  the  kitchen  door. 
I  opened  the  door  to  the  wife  of  the  day  foreman  of  the  repair  shop. 
She  had  just  come  from  Chicago  the  evening  before.  She  said: 


50  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

"Mrs.  Peterson,  I  can  stop  but  a  moment  as  it  is  near  lunch 
time.  I  only  called  to  tell  you  that  I  had  come  home;  and  I  want 
you  to  come  over  tomorrow  evening  to  a  card  party  that  we  are 
going  to  have.  Do  you  remember  the  good  time  we  all  had  the 
week  before  I  went  to  Chicago?"  She  said:  "I  have  laughed  to 
myself  when  I  thought  how  earnest  you  got  playing  cards."  All 
the  time  she  was  talking  I  was  wondering  what  I  would  say  to  her. 
She  bade  me  good  morning,  and  said,  "Do  come."  I  answered: 
"Mrs.  Hergety,  I  do  not  know  what  to  say."  She  said :  "Now  Mrs. 
Peterson  you  know  how  disappointed  I  will  be  if  you  do  not  come." 
I  did  not  know  how  to  answer  her.  I  said,  "I  know  you  will,"  and 
bade  her  good  morning  and  shut  the  door.  Then  again  the  thought 
came,  "What  will  the  great  circle  of  friends,  who  love  me  and 
whom  I  love  say  and  what  will  they  think  of  me,  when  they  hear 
what  I  have  done?  But  friends  or  no  friends,  I  am  going  to  do 
what  I  have  promised  God."  The  time  came  to  wake  Mr.  Peterson, 
and  he  ate  his  dinner  and  took  his  lunch ;  then  I  thought  of  what 
I  had  promised  God.  After  the  dishes  were  washed  I  got  the  cards 
and  laid  them  on  the  kitchen  table.  O,  such  a  fear  came  over  me 
with  the  thought:  "How  can  I  go  down  to  the  Tabernacle  and  tell 
all  those  people  I  intend  to  live  a  better  life,  when  I  was  down 
there  the  evening  before,  making  fun  of  them?"  I  said  to  myself: 
"I  will  go  in  next  door  and  tell  Mrs.  Ross  what  I  intend  to  do." 
I  said :  "Mrs.  Ross,  come  in  and  let  me  show  you  what  I  am  about 
to  do."  She  came  in  and  I  showed  her  the  cards  on  the  table  and 
said :  "Do  you  see  those  cards,  I  am  going  to  burn  them.  I  promised 
the  Lord  I  would  this  morning.  I  intend  to  burn  them  and  go 
forward  this  evening,  but  I  am  so  afraid  when  I  get  there  my  heart 
will  fail  me.  I  promised  God  that  I  would,  and  I  thought  that  if 
you  knew  what  I  intended  to  do  I  would  be  ashamed  to  go  back  on 
my  word,  even  though  I  did  fear."  I  lifted  the  lid  of  the  stove  and 
put  the  cards  into  the  fire.  Ah,  little  did  I  think  that  with  that 
very  act  the  Lord  was  going  to  fill  my  heart  with  joy  as  he  did! 
Oh,  how  happy  in  a  moment !  My  soul  was  filled !  Before  the  cards 
were  in  ashes  I  turned  to  Mrs.  Ross  and  said :  "Oh,  Mrs.  Ross,  I  do 
not  need  you.  I  feel  I  could  tell  the  whole  world."  Do  you  know 
why  I  believe  the  Lord  forgave  me  when  I  asked  him?  It  was 
not  because  I  knew  the  bible,  for  I  did  not,  but  I  said  to  myself  if 
the  Holy  Spirit  could  make  me  feel  I  was  wicked,  the  Lord  was  able 
to  forgive  me,  and  I  just  believed  it. 

Mrs.  Ross  and  myself  and  the  lady  who  lived  next  door  started 
for  the  Tabernacle.  On  my  way  down  I  stopped  for  a  lady  friend, 
the  one  who  had  bought  our  restaurant.  I  said:  "Annie,  come  and 
go  to  church  with  me."  I  did  not  tell  her  what  I  intended  to  do, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  $1 

and  when  Brother  Charlie  Uzzell,  the  one  who  built  the  Tabernacle, 
said,  "Those  who  wish  the  prayers  of  the  Christian  people  raise 
their  hands,"  I  did  not  mind.  Then  he  said:  "While  all  stand  and 
sing,  if  there  is  one  who  wishes  to  lead  a  better  life,  come  forward 
and  give  your  hand  to  me."  Before  he  got  through  with  the  invi- 
tation I  was  at  the  altar.  There  were  several  came  to  me,  and  I 
told  them  I  was  all  right,  that  I  came  to  let  the  world  know  I  was 
going  to  live  a  better  life.  They  said  nothing  more  to  me. 
Charlie  asked  everyone  the  Lord  had  forgiven  to  get  off  their  knees 
and  state  what  the  Lord  had  done  for  them.  He  said:  "With 
the  heart  we  believe  unto  salvation,  and  with  the  mouth  confession 
is  made  unto  righteousness."  Charlie  had  not  finished  the  quotation 
before  I  was  telling  the  great  congregation  what  a  sinner  I  had  been 
and  how  I  had  burned  the  cards  and  how  I  knew  the  Lord  had 
forgiven  me.  There  was  an  old  white-haired  minister  in  the 
audience.  He  went  to  Sister  Ross  and  asked  her  who  I  was.  She 
told  him  I  was  one  of  her  renters  and  that  I  was  a  respectable, 
worldly  woman.  "Well,"  he  said,  "in  all  my  ministry  I  never  heard 
a  confession  like  that."  I  had  forgotten  all  about  my  friend,  and 
when  I  looked  for  her  she  was  gone.  Oh,  how  happy  I  was  all  the 
next  day !  Mrs.  Spalti's  daughter,  Molly,  and  myself  sang  and  she 
played  on  the  piano.  The  next  evening  I  went  down  to  my  friend 
Annie's,  who  had  left  the  church  the  evening  before  because  I  had 
started  to  be  a  Christian.  I  found  her  prostrate  with  a  nervous 
chill.  When  I  went  in  she  said:  "I  am  surprised  at  you,  Rachel,  for 
not  telling  me  you  intended  to  do  what  you  did  last  night.  It 
gave  me  such  a  shock.  That  is  why  I  am  here  in  this  bed  tonight, 
for  I  did  not  know  that  you  dreamed  of  doing  such  a  thing.  I 
though  you  had  really  lost  your  mind.  You  know  the  evening  before 
the  sport  you  made  of  Christian  people."  I  told  her  as  I  sat  by  her 
bed  holding  her  hand  how  the  Holy  Spirit  had  come  to  me,  and  the 
struggle  I  had  had  to  do  what  I  did  the  evening  before.  I  told 
her  that  I  was  praying  for  her,  that  she  might  know  as  I  knew 
there  was  a  reality  in  what  I  did.  Before  I  left  her  she  was  con- 
vinced that  my  mind  was  all  right.  It  was  not  long  before  she,  too, 
gave  her  heart  to  God.  When  my  husband  came  home  "the  next 
morning  about  half  past  seven  I  had  breakfast  all  ready.  As  he 
came  in,  before  he  put  his  lunch  basket  on  the  table,  he  said :  "Rachel, 
what  in  the  world  is  the  matter  with  you?"  "Nothing,"  I  replied, 
not  knowing  once  that  my  experience  showed  on  my  face  as  it  did. 
"Well,  Rachel,  I  never  saw  that  look  on  your  face  before."  And 
I  asked:  "What  kind  of  a  look?"  He  said:  "The  expression  on  your 
face  makes  me  believe  dome  one  has  told  you  some  good  news. 
Now,  Rachel,  you  must  tell  me  what  it  is,  for  I  know  there  is 


52  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

something."  We  sat  down  to  breakfast.  He  could  not  keep  his 
eyes  from  me.  I  thought  it  would  not  do  to  tell  him  what  had  hap- 
pened ;  that  he  would  try  and  dissuade  me  from  going  to  church.  He 
went  to  bed,  but  he  could  not  sleep.  He  came  into  the  kitchen 
about  eleven  o'clock  and  said :  "Rachel,  I  cannot  sleep.  You  must 
tell  me  what  has  happened."  I  told  him  to  go  on  to  bed  and  not 
bother  his  mind  about  me.  It  was  only  three  or  four  nights  till  he 
changed  from  night  work  to  day  work.  I  knew  then  I  would  have 
to  tell  him.  It  was  Sunday  evening  when  he  came  in.  It  was  about 
time  to  go  to  church.  I  heard  Sister  Ross  call  Sister  Spalti.  I 
knew  my  troubles  had  begun  on  a  new  line  and  that  I  could  not  go 
that  evening,  as  he  would  be  home.  The  one  who  had  gotten  ready 
first  would  call  for  the  others  and  we  would  all  go  down  together ; 
but  this  evening  they  knew  better  than  to  call  for  me,  for  they  knew 
how  my  husband  was,  we  having  talked  it  over  the  day  before.  It 
was  a  settled  thing  that  I  was  to  stay  at  home  the  month  that 
he  was  working  in  the  day  time,  and  then  make  up  for  the  time 
the  next  month  when  he  would  be  away  nights.  I  went  ahead  and 
put  the  supper  on  the  table.  While  I  was  thinking  how  I  could 
bear  to  stay  at  home  a  whole  month  Sister  Spalti  and  Sister  Ross 
said:  "Never  mind,  just  let  us  pray  that  the  Lord  will  remove  this 
jealousy  that  is  in  his  heart."  He  was  jealous  of  Sister  Spalti  and 
Sister  Ross,  for  he  thought  the  old  women  were  putting  me  up  to 
leave  him.  It  was  as  bad  with  the  women  as  it  was  with  the  men. 
If  it  had  only  been  the  men  that  he  was  jealous  of  I  could  have 
borne  it.  One  could  see  it  was  a  perfect  mania  with  him.  I  had 
more  patience  with  him,  knowing  he  was  a  victim  of  this  curse. 
When  I  would  get  angry  with  him  I  would  say,  after  our  trouble 
was  over?  "Poor  fellow,  he  can't  help  it."  "Oh,  beware  of  jealousy, 
my  Lord.  It  is  the  green-eyed  monster  which  death  makes  the 
meat  it  feeds  on"  (Shakespeare).  "Jealousy,"  says  Prof.  D.  G. 
Jeffers,  M.  D.,  Ph.  D.,  "is  an  accidental  passion  for  which  the 
faculty  is  indeed  inborn.  In  its  noble  form  and  in  its  noble  motives 
it  rises  from  love.  In  its  lower  form  it  rises  from  the  deepest  and 
darkest  pit  of  Satan."  Developed  jealousy  rises  either  from  weak- 
ness, which,  from  a  sense  of  its  own  want  of  lovable  faculties  is 
not  convinced  of  being  sure  of  its  course,  or  from  distrust,  which 
thinks  the  beloved  person  capable  of  infidelity.  Sometimes  all 
these  motives  may  act  together.  The  noblest  jealousy,  if  the  term  is 
appropriate,  is  a  sort  of  ambition  or  pride  of  the  loving  person,  who 
feels  it  an  insult  for  another  to  assume  it  possible  to  supplant 
his  love,  or  it  may  be  a  high  degree  of  devotion  which  sees  a  declar- 
ation of  its  objects  in  the  foreign  invasion,  as  it  were,  of  his  own 
altar.  Jealousy  is  always  a  sign  that  a  little  more  wisdom  might 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  53 

adorn  the  individual  without  harm.  The  lowest  species  of  jealousy 
is  a  sort  of  avarice  or  envy  which,  without  being  capable  of  love, 
at  least  wishes  to  possess  the  object  of  its  jealousy  alone  by  assuming 
a  soft  of  proprietary  right  over  the  other.  This  jealousy,  which 
might  be  called  the  satanic,  is  generally  to  be  found  with  old, 
withered  up  husbands  whom  the  devil  has  prompted  to  marry 
young  women,  and  who  forthwith  go  to  consult  some  old  witch 
or  fortune-teller,  who  will  see  in  her  cards  a  diamond  king,  or 
heart  king,  or  an.  ace  or  club  king  or  spade  king,  with  the  ace  of 
hearts  behind,  and  who  then  tells  a  jealous  husband  to  look  out. 

In  my  work  during  the  last  fifteen  years  I  have  not  only  found 
this  often  among  the  old,  but  I  have  found  it  also  among  the  young, 
both  in  the  high  and  the  low  classes.  They  usually  are  no  longer 
capable  of  any  feeling  that  could  be  called  love.  They  are  as?a  rule 
heartless  house-tyrants,  in  constant  dread  that  someone  may  admire 
or  appreciate  his  unfortunate  slave.  Jealousy  is  often  more  the  result 
of  wrong  conditions,  which  cause  uncongenial  unions,  and  which,  • 
through  moral  corruption,  artificially  create 'distrust,  than  a  neces- 
sary accompaniment  of  love.  It  is  generally  known  that  those 
who  are  affected  with  this  awful  malady  are  those  one  might  call 
libertines.  I  personally  know  a  number  of  married  men  who,  if 
you  would  call  them  libertines,  would  take  it  as  one  of  the  greatest 
insults,  and  yet  they  do  not  and  cannot  believe  in  the  purity  of 
woman.  They  go  so  far  as  to  say  it  is  contrary  to  nature.  It  has 
been  well  said  that  a  libertine  cannot  believe  in  the  loyalty  of  a 
faithful  wife.  Oh,  how  my  heart  has  been  wrung  to  find  these 
awful  wicked  thoughts  and  lives  among  the  upper  classes  where 
they  have  money  and  refinement  to -enable  them  and  help  them,  yet 
lock  this  grim  monster  in  their  closet,  grit  their  teeth  and  clinch  their 
fists  and  say :  "You  stay  there,  and  I  will  feed  you  with  my  wicked 
thoughts,  and  those  nude  pictures  and  lustful  deeds."  Finally  they 
do  not  believe  there  is  one  pure  woman  other  than  their  mother, 
and  it  has  become  a  custom  for  them  to  say  so.  I  know  if  they  had 
that  purity  in  their  hearts  they  believe  is  there,  they  would  think 
other  mothers  were  as  pure  as  their  own.  I  am  sorry  to  say  there 
is  too  much  of  this  carnal  mind  among  the  church  members  today. 
Jealousy  always  shows  a  lack  of  sufficient  confidence,  and  instead  of 
being  diminished  after  marriage  is  liable  to  increase  until,  by  the  aid 
of  the  imagination  and  wrong  interpretation,  the  home  is  made  a 
hell  and  little  of  the  grace  of  God  therein,  where  a  divorce  is 
the  ultimate  necessity.  Let  it  be  remembered  that  there  can  be  no 
true  love  without  perfect  and  absolute  confidence. 

Well,  as  I  said,  the  sisters  told  me  to  pray  and  I  was  praying 
in  my  heart  as  I  put  the  dinner  on  the  table,  almost  forgetting  who 


54  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

was  present,  when  he  said:  "What  is  the  matter  now?  You  look 
like  you  hadn't  a  friend  on  earth."  By  this  time  I  had  dinner 
ready.  I  turned  around,  facing  him,  and  looking  him  straight  in 
the  eye,  I  said :  "Mr.  Peterson,  I  am  a  Christian.  I  have  giveri  my 
heart  to  God,  and  from  this  on*  if  I  have  to  go  through  fire  and 
blood,  I  will  be  a  Christian.  I  have  been  through  the  fire  and  at  times 
I  thought  I  would  have  to  go  throught' blood.  In  those  dark  hours  I 
have  taken  my  case  to  one  who  shed  his  blood  upon  Calvary,  and  he 
has  given  me  the  assurance  that  he  will  protect  me."  As  I  stood 
there  looking  him  in  the  face  he  turned  as  white  as  a  corpse. 
Finally  he  said :  "Rachel,  I  knew  there  was  something,  and  that  is 
it,  is  it?  Why  do  you  look  as  you  do  now?"  I  replied:  "Did  you 
hear  Sister  Ross  call  Sister  Spalti  ?  They  meet  out  on  the  corner  and 
go  together  to  church,  and  I  have  been  going  with  them,  but  now 
you  are  home.  And  you  know  how  funny  you  are.  It  does  not  make 
any  difference,  though.  I'll  be  a  Christian  if  I  never  go  to  church 
again."  He  stood  looking  at  me  in  a  dazed  sort  of  way  and  then 
said:  "Rachel,  if  you  had  said  so4n  time  you  might  have  gone.  It 
is  too  late  now,  but  never  mind,  you  can  go  tomorrow  night."  I 
had  already  told  him  we  had  been  going  every  night.  I  had  been 
praying  all  the  time  since  I  had  been  converted  that  the  Lord  would 
change  him  and  make  him  a  different  man,  so  that  I  could  be  a 
Christian.  I  went  almost  every  evening  all  through  the  month.  By 
this  time  my  trouble  had  begun  on  a  different  line. 

Brother  Charlie  Uzzell  started  a  converts'  prayer  meeting  an 
hour  before  preaching  time.  Every  one  of  us  had  to  take  part 
whether  we  wished  to  or  not.  He  would  call  on  us  to  pray  and  tes- 
tify. Oh,  my  heart  goes  out  to  a  young  convert.  What  a  struggle 
it  is.  I  sometimes  think  it  was  harder  for  me  than  for  anyone  else 
I  ever  saw.  I  could  not  pray.  I  did  not  know  the  first  thing  about 
the  language  of  prayer.  I  did  not  know  how  to  put  words  together; 
I  had  made  such  a  failure  the  evening  before  in  the  prayer  meeting 
that  the  next  morning  I  was  crying  about  it,  and  Mr.  Peterson 
wanted  to  know  what  was  the  matter,  'and  he  asked  me  why  I  did 
not  get  a  book  and  learn  to  pray.  But  I  did  not  know  what  to  ask 
for.  Mrs.  R —  told  me  there  was  none  except  the  Catholic  and  Epis- 
copal prayer  books,  so  Mr.  Peterson  went  down  and  got  me  an 
Episcopal  prayer  book.  I  read  the  book  through,  and  saw  at  once 
I  could  not  learn  the  prayers  by  heart  without  everyone  knowing 
they  were  Episcopal  prayers.  I  did  not  know  what  to  do.  At  last 
I  thought  of  a  plan.  I  took  two  or  three  lines  out  of  one  prayer, 
and  then  two  or  three  lines  out  of  another  and  put  them  together 
till  I  finally  had  a  good  prayer,  and  then  I  learned  it  by 
heart.  Afterwards  I  told  Sister  Ross  and  Sister  Spalti  I  had 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  55 

learned  a  prayer,  and  knew  I  was  all  right  now.  Old  Christians 
were  not  allowed  to  come  into  the  meeting  of  the  younger 
converts.  It  would  bother  them  so.  Brother  Charlie  would 
lead  the  meeting  and  he  saw  that  everyone  took  a  part.  I  thought 
if  I  did  make  a  mistake  Sisters  Ross  and  Spalti  would  not  hear  me, 
and  that  I  would  soon  learn.  When  it  came  my  turn  to  take  part 
I  was  afraid  to  attempt  the  prayer,  for  I  had  worked  myself  up 
into  such  a  state  that  my  head  was  aching  and  my  heart  failed  me 
on  the  prayer.  I  went  over  to  Brother  Uzzell  and  told  him  while 
they  were  singing  that  I  had  a  headache  and  did  not  feel  like 
taking  part  in  the  meeting.  He  smiled  and  said  it  was  all  right, 
pray.  I  felt  the  cold  perspiration  start  out  upon  me.  I  did  not 
know  fce  was  going  to  call  on  me,  or  I  could  have  fled,  ft  was 
so  unexpected  I  forgot  my  prayer,  and  again  it  was  a  failure — nothing 
but  poor  broken  sentences.  I  cried  myself  to  sleep  that  night,  hoping 
the  next  evening  I  would  be  on  my  guard. 

The  next  evening  I  felt  good.  I  was  sure  I  could  pray  this  time, 
so  when  my  turn  came  (it  always  bothered  me  if  I  thought  anyone 
could  look  in  my  face  when  I  was  praying)  I  got  down  behind 
the  chair  and  forgot  my  prayer  in  thinking  how  I  could  hide  my 
face — and  another  time  I  failed.  I  tried  to  comfort  myself  by 
thinking  I  would  try  and  not  think  so  much  of  my  face  the  next  time, 
but  the  next  evening  was  no  better.  My  heart  was  almost  broke.  I 
could  not  eat  or  sleep,  or  do  hardly  anything  about  the  house.  In 
fact  my  neighbors  were  bothered  very  much  about  me,  and  some 
of  my  *  friends  thought  I  was  surely  losing  my  mind.  Mr.  Peterson 
did  not  know  what  to  think  of  me,  and  I  did  not  know  what  to  think 
of  myself.  Things  had  indeed  become  serious.  It  was  now  four 
weeks  and  I  had  not  learned  to  testify.  I  have  been  compelled  to 
hold  to  the  back  of  a  chair  in  order  to  stand.  My  limbs  would 
tremble  under  me  and  a  lump  would  come  up  in  my  throat  so  big 
I  thought  it  would  choke  me.  The  book  I  shall  always  keep.  As  I 
would  start  for  home  after  church  I  would  take  Sister  Spalti's  arm 
and  say  to  her :  "I  do  not  belive  I  will  ever  learn  to  pray  and  talk." 
She  would  always  say  to  me :  "Rachel,  you  will ;  you  keep  right  on, 
for  the  time  will  come  when  the  fear  will  leave  you."  The  way  I 
felt  then  I  could  not  see  how  it  could  ever  leave  me.  Still,  I 
would  not  give  up.  I  would  reason  with  myself  like  this :  "Why  is 
it  when  I  am  in  the ;  ball  room  I  am  not  afraid?  I  know  at  first 
I  was  timid  a  few  times,  but  two  or  three  got  around  me,  and  they 
would  encourage  me  and  help  me  till  the  fear  soon  left."  I  knew 
Sister  Spalti  and  Sister  Ross  and  Brother  Uzzell  would  try  to  en- 
courage me,  and  tell  me  never  to  give  up,  but  I  would  ask  myself: 
"Why  can  I  not  be  as  good  a  Christian  if  I  do  not  talk."  Yet 


56  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

when  I  went  to  a  ball  or  party  or  a  picnic  I  was  the  noisiest  one 
in  the  crowd,  and  I  thought  if  I  could  take  part  in  worldly  things, 
why  could  I  not  in  Christian  gatherings?  I  was  in  an  awful  state 
by  the  time  I  got  things  all  fixed  up  in  my  mind,  still  I  was  deter- 
mined not  to  give  up,  so  one  evening  Sister  Gray  came  to  me  and 
asked  me  what  answer  would  I  give  anyone  who  would  ask  me 
how  I  knew  there  was  a  God,  for  we  had  never  seen  him,  and  how 
could  I  answer  in  a  way  they  would  understand?  I  said:  "Sister 
Gray,  you  know  I  am  not  long  on  the  way  and  so  you  must  give  me  a 
little  time  and  I  will  pray  and  see  if  there  will  anything  come  to  me." 
I  thought:  "Well,  I  will  not  be  afraid  to  talk  with  her,  if  I  am  in 
a  prayer  meeting."  I  was  already  telling  everybody  how  I  was 
converted,  still  I  could  not  get  up  in  church  without  fear  and 
trembling.  I  wondered  why  Sister  Gray  should  ask  me  this  question, 
and  why  she  had  not  gone  to  an  older  Christian.  It  was  not  long  till 
God  gave  me  the  answer.  It  was  Friday  afternoon.  It  had  been 
four  weeks  since  I  had  been  converted,  and  Annie,  this  friend 
of  mine,  who  had  bought  our  restaurant,  came  up  that  afternoon 
and  told  me  that  ten  of  my  boarders  were  coming  to  hear  me  talk. 
Here  I  was  unable  to  sav  half  a  dozen  words.  I  would  almost  choke 
getting  them  spoken,  and  then  to  be  told  that  ten  of  my  boarders 
were  coming  to  hear  me !  They  knew  I  could  talk,  and  what 
would  they  think  to  hear  me  now?  I  could  not  express  myself,  for 
I  could  not  find  the  words  or  thoughts  to  do  it  with.  They 
would  think  I  had  a  poor  religion  if  I  could  not  tell  them  about 
it.  "Oh,  Annie,  what  will  I  do !"  I  exclaimed.  The  burden  seemed 
to  get  ten  times  greater  than  I  thought  I  could  bear.  I  am  now  in 
my  fortieth  year,  and  I  have  learned  we  get  nothing  only  by  ex- 
perience in  this  would — nothing  valuable  without  trials  and  self- 
denial  and  sacrifice.  If  this  be  what  we  may  expect  here  in  this 
world,  how  much  more  should  we  expect  it  when  it  comes  to 
spiritual  things?  I  want  the  best.  In  order  to  have  the  best, 
I  expect  to  pay  the  price.  I  do  not  ask  it  of  my  Father  "without 
price."  I  am  willing  to  do  my  part.  It  is  natural  if  we  desire 
anything  of  this  world  to  do  all  we  can,  whether  it  amounts  to 
anything  or  not.  If  we  can  do  nothing  but  wish  and  long  and  fret 
and  lose  sleep  and  talk  about  it,  and  bother  everyone  we  meet, 
making  ourselves  miserable  and  everyone  connected  with  us,  it  seems 
we  cannot  help  it.  Why?  Because  we  want  something.  I  wanted 
something,  and  that  was  the  ability  to  talk  and  pray,  and  to  find 
words  to  make  my  happy  experience  plain  to  everyone.  I  wanted 
this  more  than  anything  in  this  world.  I  do  not  remember  the  time 
when  I  was  burdened  as  I  was  then.  After  Annie  had  gone,  I  sat 
down  alone  and  wondered  what  I  should  do.  The  thought  came 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  57 

to  me :  "Stay  at  home."  "Yes."  I  said  to  myself ;  "I  could  do  that, 
but  would  that  be  right  to  run  away  like  that?"  Then  this  thought 
came  to  me:  "No  one  would  know  why  you  staid  at  home."  What 
was  it  that  caused  these  thoughts?  Someone  will  say  it  was  per- 
fectly natural  you  should  think  that  way,  and  that  is  why  you  did. 
Now,  I  want  to  ask  you,  if  that  be  natural,  then  is  nature  right? 
You  know  that  would  not  be  right,  and  God  made  all  nature  right. 
It  was  the  devil  taking  advantage  of  my  weak  human  nature,  for 
human  nature  is  weak,  and  it  would  have  been  weak  for  me  to  run 
away  from  what  I  knew  was  right.  Then  what  was  it  that  urged 
me  to  do  wrong,  that  caused  this  feeling?  I  knew  I  had  been  for- 
given, still  there  was  always  something  to  stop  me  from  telling 
what  I  did  know.  I  want  to  ask,  what  was  this?  It  was  not  me. 
God  knows  that  I  wanted  to  tell  everybody ;  that  my  heart  was  so  full 
I  wanted  to  do  anything  rather  than  keep  still.  Now,  reason  tells 
me  there  was  something  wrong ;  that  this  did  not  happen  so,  or 
come  by  chance,  no  more  than  the  house  I  live  in  came  by  chance. 
There  had  been  strength,  wisdom  and  power  used  in  building  the 
house,  and  a  reason  why  the  house  was  built,  and  an  object  also. 
Now,  tell  me  why  those  feelings  should  come  to  me  as  they  did 
if  there  were  no  object.  I  did  not  want  it  then,  and  would  have  done 
anything  if  I  could  have  kept  those  feelings  and  thoughts  from  me. 
Though  you  may  not  be  a  Christian,  and  may  not  have  had  this 
change,  yet  I  ask  you  if  you  do  not  think  there  was  something 
wrong.  At  the  time  I  myself  thought  it  was  my  own  feelings,  but 
what  caused  my  feelings  I  was  unable  to  recognize.  I  was  ignorant, 
in  the  influence  pf  the  good  and  evil,  of  God  and  the  Devil.  I  found 
out  that  it  was  nothing  but  the  influence  of  the  devil  that  caused 
those  feelings,  and  that  they  were  not  natural.  I  knew  that  I  ought 
to  go  to  the  prayer  meeting  that  night  and  tell  those  boarders 
what  I  believed  as  near  as  I  could ;  that  my  religion  was  real. 
I  was  determined,  regardless  of  fear,  to  go.  I  said  I  would,  even 
if  I  could  say  but  one  word  to  help  them  to  understand.  I  had 
already  had  the  experience.  Without  experience  we  are  unable  to 
say  much,  and  we  know  less  than  we  say  on  the  subject,  except 
we  have  experience.  I  dressed  myself  for  the  meeting,  and  all  the 
time  I  was  asking  God  to  help  me  to  talk,  to  give  me  words  to 
show  everyone  who  was  in  the  darkness  that  there  was  a  reality  in 
the  experience  I  had  had.  I  was  so  anxious,  I  was  listening  to  every 
feeling  and  thought  and  impression  that  would  come  to  me.  Sister 
Ross  and  Sister  Spalti  came  in,  and  I  was  telling  them  what  a 
time  I  was  having,  and  that  I  had  made  up  my  mind,  blunders  or 
no  blunders,  never  to  give  up.  By  this  time  we  were  ready  to 
go.  My  heart  was  still  so  heavy  I  was  praying,  for  you  might  know 


58  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

I  was,  for  when  I  got  to  the  gate  the  thought  carne  to  me  to  go  back 
and  pray.  Well,  I  knew  it  was.  not  a  thought  of  mine.  I  knew  I 
was  not  thinking  of  such  a  thing  as  going  back.  Then  my  reason 
told  me  it  was  the  Lord.  I  had  told  him  four  weeks  ago  that  I 
would  do  anything,  and  that  there  was  nothing  left  for  me  to  do 
but  go  back,  if  I  kept  my  word.  Now,  dear  reader,  this  is  being 
led  by  the  Spirit.  I  did  not  know  at  the  time  that  this  was 
what  was  called  being  led  by  the  Spirit,  and  how  few  of  the  young 
converts  understand  what  it  means,  and  how  necessary  it  is  to 
know  how  to  be  led.  Now,  dear  young  convert,  listen  to  what  I 
say,  and  then  it  will  enable  you  to  act  upon  the  leading  of  the 
Spirit.  This  is  his  plan,  and  it  cannot  be  changed.  We  must  be 
led  by  the  Spirit.  When  the  thought  came  to  me  to  go  back  and 
pray,  I  did  not  tell  the  two  sisters  what  had  come  to  me.  I 
simply  said  "I  must  go  back,"  and  for  them  to  go  on,  and  I  would 
overtake  them.  I  went  to  my  bedroom  and  knelt  and  said  the 
very  same  thing  that  I  had  been  saying  for  four  weeks,  "Lord,  help 
me  to  talk  and  pray."  It  was  all  I  asked  for.  Of  course  I  thanked 
him  for  what  I  had  already  received,  but  I  had  just  got  enough  to 
want  more.  You  may  ask  why  he  did  not  answer  my  prayer 
before,  and  why  I  could  not  pray  going  to  church.  That  was  not 
his  way,  and  he  will  have  his  way.  If  his  way  had  been  our  way, 
we  would  not  know  how  to  be  led  by  the  Spirit.  Another  thing, 
if  his  way  was  our  way,  or  some  other  way,  there  would  be  no 
need  of  those  faculties.  We  have  to  know  there  is  a  difference 
between  his  way  and  ours.  There  would  be  no  need  of  obedience 
if  we  had  our  way.  We  are  his  children,  and  we  must  learn  to  obey 
Him  and  do  His  way,  for  there  is  more  difference  between  His  way 
and  our  way  than  there  is  between  an  earthly  parent's  way  and 
the  child's  way.  That  is  why  God  says  our  ways  are  not  his  ways. 
(Is-  55:8,  9-) 

As  I  was  praying  the  same  prayer  that  I  had  been  praying,  all 
at  once  those  words  came  to  me :  "According  to  your  faith  be  it 
unto  you."  (Matt.  9:29.)  I  did  not  know  those  words  were  in  the 
bible.  Believe  me,  I  had  never  heard  those  words  read  or  spoken, 
and  they  came  to  me  as  plain  as  though  I  knew  them  by  heart.  As 
you  read  my  experience  for  forty  years,  read  it  carefully,  you 
cannot  help  seeing  how  necessary  it  is,  and  how  reasonable  it  is,  for 
us  to  be  led  by  the  Spirit.  The  moment  those  words  came  to  me 
I  sprang  to  my  feet  and  said :  "Lord,  I  do  believe,  or  I  would  not 
have  been  asking  you."  The  trouble  was,  I  had  been  asking  him, 
and  I  had  not  told  him  I  believed  that  he  had  granted  what  I  had 
been  asking.  I  had  faith  enough  to  ask,  but  not  faith  enough  to 
believe  I  had  received  what  I  had  asked  for,  and  I  had  not  obeyed  far 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  59 

enough  or  yielded  myself,  for  the  thought  had  not  come  yet,  and 
when  it  did  come,  I  said :  "Lord,  I  will  go  back  and  pray."  That 
was  obedience,  and  being  led  at  the  same  time  by  the  thoughts 
that  came  to  me,  which  was  the  Spirit.  You  cannot  help  seeing 
that  my  going  back  was  obedience  and  faith.  Do  you  not  see 
also  that  faith  and  obedience,  and  being  led  by  the  Spirit,  were 
what  made  it  possible  for  me  to  believe  when  the  Spirit  brought 
that  scripture  to  me?  Can  you  not  see  if  I  had  not  done  what 
the  Spirit  led  me  to  do  I  never  would  have  received  the  faith,  for 
God  never  would  have  given  it  to  me  only  through  obedience.  This 
is  why  I  am  writing  my  experience,  of  how  God  has  led  me  all 
these  fifteen  years,  step  by  step,  as  I  would  listen  to  the  leading 
and  obey.  As  I  said,  I  do  believe  it  was  not  the  act  of  the  will 
now.  The  will  had  done  its  part  when  I  said  I  will  come  back, 
so  you  see  faith  is  not  the  act  of  the  will,  but  conies  through 
obedience.  We  cannot  receive  faith  at  will.  Now,  do  you  see,  by 
obedience  I  had  the  strength  to  take  God  at  his  word.  I  did 
not  ask  how  it  was  coming.  I  just  believed  and  went.  It  was 
no  credit  to  me,  for  God  had  given  me  the  strength  to  believe, 
and  this  strength  came  through  obedience  and  faith.  Little  did  I 
think  he  was  going  to  fill  my  mind  with  such  thoughts.  Remem- 
ber, now,  I  told  you  that  I  was  already  strong,  and  how  I  got  the 
strength,  and  when  the  thoughts  came  I  was  ready  to  tell  them, 
because  strength  had  driven  away  fear  and  weakness,  and  I  got 
this  victory  by  just  going  back  from  the  gate.  As  you  can  plainly 
see,  being  led,  and  obedience,  is  the  secret. 

There  was  not  one  in  the  meeting  who  could  help  seeing  that 
I  had  gained  the' victory,  for  they  all  knew  what  a  time  I  had,  for 
I  had  no  time  to  go  to  Moody' s  school,  or  take  up  any  course  of 
study.  It  was  at  this  meeting  that  the  answer  came  to  Sister 
Gray's  question,  and  I  said  to  Sister  Gray:  "I  believe  I  can  answer 
the  question  you  asked  me  the  other  day.  If  you  shut  yourself 
up  in  the  house,  close  the  windows  and  put  something  in  the  key- 
hole so  you  cannot  feel  the  wind  blow,  you  can  look  out  of  the 
window  and  see  the  effects  of  the  wind,  from  the  dust  and  the 
trees,  but  you  cannot  feel  it,  and  still  you  know  the  wind  is 
blowing,  which  causes  the  dust.  It  does  not  come  by  chance;  there 
is  a  power  that  causes  it,  and  by  seeing  it  you  could  not  help  but 
believe  it,  though  you  could  not  feel  or  even  see  it.  You  could 
only  see  the  effects.  So  it  is  with  the  sinner.  He  shuts  himself 
up  in  the  house  of  unbelief,  for  he  is  already  in  this  house  till 
God  shows  him  the  way  out.  I  have  told  you  the  way  I  came  out, 
and  that  is  the  way  you  will  have  to  come,  through  repentance, 
faith  and  belief  in  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ.  There  is  only  one  way, 


60  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

and  that  is  this  way,  and  he  will  say  unto  you,  as  he  said  unto 
Nicodemus :  'Except  a  man  be  born  again,  he  cannot  see  the 
kingdom  of  God/  (John  3:3.)  And  he  will  say,  'I  cannot  see/ 
and  down  comes  the  window.  He  will  not  be  willing  to  talk  to 
you  or  believe  what  you  say,  but  he  must  see.  'Because  I  cannot 
see/  he  says,  'I  will  not  listen/  He  will  even  stop  up  the  key- 
hole of  his  ear  so  he  cannot  hear,  and  you  will  find  they  are  always 
in  a  hurry.  They  have  no  time  to  listen,  and  if  they  do  it  is  be- 
cause it  would  be  impolite  to  do  otherwise.  He  soon  forgets  what 
has  been  said.  He  will  not  stop  to  think,  for  his  mind  is  filled 
with  the  things  of  this  world  of  business  and  pleasure.  I  ask  what 
feeling  can  a  sinner  have  who  is  absorbed  with  pleasures  and 
business?  Oh,  sinner,  lift  up  the  windows  and  come  out  into  the 
beautiful  sunlight  of  God's  love !  While  you  are  in  the  house  of 
sin  you  can  only  see  the  effects  of  the  power  of  God  in  us,  as 
you  can  see  the  effect  of  the  wind.  The  Spirit  of  God  is  to  be 
felt  and  not  seen.  He  compares  his  Spirit  with  the  wind.  As  the 
saying  is,  seeing  is  believing,  but  feeling  is  the  naked  truth.  You 
see  enough  of  the  power  of  God  and  of  his  love,  as  you  have 
already  seen  the  power  of  the  wind.  Step  out  into  the  sunlight 
^and  you  will  feel  what  we  'do  and  what  our  dear  old  mother  has 
taught  you."  Then  I  sat  down.  They  started  a  song,  and  the 
deacons  of  the  church  came  up  to  me,  and  Brother  Uzzell  took  my 
hand  and  said :  "Sister  Peterson,  you  are  called  to  preach  the 
gospel." 

It  is  no  wonder  they  felt  as  they  did,  for  a  tongue-tied  person 
like  me  to  get  up  and  talk  fifteen  minutes,  and  the  change  all 
to  take  place  in  twenty-four  hours.  The  boarders  went  away  satis- 
fied there  was  something  in  my  religion,  though  they  did  not  know 
what.  My  friends  said  I  would  soon  get  over  it,  and  be  back  with 
my  large  circle  of  friends.  "She  will  not  stick,"  they  said.  "She 
loves  the  pleasures  of  the  world  and  society  too  well  to  hold  out." 
Well,  it  is  fifteen  years,  and  I  have  not  given  uo  vet.  Some  gave 
me  six  weeks,  some  three  months.  Brother  Charlie  came  to  me 
after  the  meeting  and  said :  "Sister  Peterson,  God  has  called  you 
to  preach."  I  could  not  comprehend  such  a  possibility.  I  was  ig- 
norant. I  had  no  education.  On  my  way  home  that  evening  it 
seemed  to  me  I  was  not  walking.  I  was  as  light  as  a  feather. 
It  was  10  o'clock  when  I  went  to  bed.  I  was  so  happy  I  could  not 
sleep.  It  was  the  month  Mr.  Peterson  was  working  nights,  and 
there  was  not  a  soul  in  the  house  but  me,  but  the  thought  came  to 
me  as  plain  as  words:  "Is  your-lamp  trimmed  and  burning?"  I 
said,  "Yes,  Lord,"  for  I  began  to  talk  with  the  Lord  at  every 
thought  or  feeling  or  impression  that  came  to  me.  I  had  learned 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  6l 

before  this  the  secret  of  success — a  close  study  of  God's  word. 
At  that  time  I  knew  very  little  of  the  Bible,  and  what  I  did  read 
I  did  not  understand  very  well.  I  almost  went  wholly  by  those 
leadings.  As  you  must  understand  I  used  the  clear  knowledge  that 
God  gives  every  one  of  right  and  wrong,  for  every  one  of  us  is  born 
into  the  world  with  that  light.  John  I  :g:  "That  was  the  true  Light, 
which  lighteth  every  man  that  cometh  into  the  world."  That  is 
why  the  Lord  has  left  us  without  an  excuse.  The  time  does  come 
when  we  can  see  and  know  and  understand  God's  word.  Again 
those  words  came  to  me,  and  in  a  moment  again  they  came :  "Is 
your  lamp  trimmed  and  burning?"  I  could  not  understand  what 
it  meant,  coming  three  different  times.  The  third  time  I  sat  up 
in  bed  and  said :  "Lord,  you  know  my  lamp  is  trimmed  and  burn- 
ing; that  my  sins  are  forgiven,  and  that  I  am  your  child."  I  would 
not  give  a  cent  for  a  Father  or  a  Savior  that  we  could  not  com- 
mune with  outside  of  the  word  of  God.  We  cannot  live  a  spiritual 
life  without  the  bible,  but  think  of  it,  what  would  I  have  done  if 
it  had  not  been  for  the  leading  of  the  Spirit,  since  I  knew  so  lit- 
tle of  the  bible.  There  are  so  many  people  trying  to  live  Christian 
lives  without  the  Spirit,  and  trying  to  read  the  bible  without  the 
Spirit,  when  God  tells  us  that  the  letter  killeth  and  the  Spirit  maketh 
alive.  The  word  of  God  will  kill  us,  for  it  is  a  sure  weapon.  It 
will  kill  us  to  our  own  way  if  we  will  only  hearken  to  it.  There  are 
so  few  who  are  willing  to  die  in  a  spiritual  way.  The  way  is  always 
to  be  contrary  to  our  own  selfish  and  natural  wav.  We  cannot  trust 
to  nature,  for  our  natures  are  dependent.  So  we  must  die  daily,  as 
St.  Paul  said.  By  the  time  those  words  came  to  me  the  third  time 
it  must  have  been  about  12  o'clock.  As  I  sat  up  in  bed  the  thought 
or  feeling  came  to  me.  Getting  up  and  sitting:  down  on  the  edge 
of  the  bed,  I  said :  "Lord,  what  do  you  want  me  to  get  up  for  ?" 
I  did  so,  and  when  I  sat  down  there  came  a  gentle  breeze  like  the 
breeze  from  one  fanning  themselves  gently.  I  looked  around  and 
saw  the  windows  were  shut,  and  I  wondered  where  the  wind  came 
from.  Such  a  strange  feeling  swept  over  me,  such  as  you  feel 
when  you  take  something  to  put  you  to  sleep — that  drifting  sen- 
sation. Then  I  realized  that  it  was  the  spirit  of  the  Lord,  as 
plain  as  I  ever  did  in  all  the  four  weeks ;  so  plainly  I  seemed  to 
drift  away  somewhere.  Then  in  my  drifting  I  stopped,  just  as  one 
would  stop  running.  As  my  feelings  stopped  drifting  the  same 
words  came  to  me:  "Is  your  lamp  trimmed  and  burning?"  As 
I  was  about  to  answer,  I  said,  "Yes,  Lord,"  and  in  a  second  I  saw 
these  words.  They  were  stamped  upon  my  memory.  The  Lord 
took  me  into  this  trance  when  I  got  the  victory  for  liberty  to 
pray  and  talk,  and  I  have  never  lacked  for  words  from 


62  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

that  day  to  this.  I  am  so  glad  that  I  am  able  to  write  these  words 
for  my  loved  ones  to  read  after  I  have  gone  on  to  receive  my  re- 
ward. These  are  the  words  I  saw:  "My  lamp  is  trimmed  and 
burning.  My  sail  is  set,  and  I  am  ready  to  sail  over  the  troubled 
waves  of  this  life  and  anchor  by  and  by.  I  do  not  intend  to  lin- 
ger along  the  pathway  nor  sink  beneath  the  dark,  rolling  waves 
of  sin,  but  my  faith  will  carry  me  safely  over  and  I  will  anchor 
by  and  by." 

When  I  came  to  the  last  word  I  felt  like  one  who  had  been 
in  a  deep  sleep.  As  I  was  drifting  back  the  same  way  there 
seemed  to  be  a  trumpet  put  to  my  ear,  and  with  a  loud  voice 
something  said :  "You  go  and  tell  the  people  to  get  ready  to  die. 
You  go  and  tell  the  people  to  get  ready  for  the  judgment."  These 
words  impressed  me  so  when  I  heard  them  I  sprang  to  my  feet, 
and  said  aloud,  just  as  if  I  were  speaking  to  some  one:  "There 
is  no  one  to  go  to,  Lord,  for  it  is  midnight."  Several  very  spiritual 
Christians  have  told  me  that  if  I  had  obeyed,  the  Lord  would  have 
plainly  show  me  what  he  wanted  me  to  do.  I  know  what  he 
wanted  me  to  do,  and  I  have  tried  from  that  night  till  now  to  do 
all  I  could,  to  get  everyone  to  live  a  Christian  life.  The  Lord  has 
blessed  my  labors  wonderfully.  I  led  a  few  converts'  meetings  in 
January  and  February,  but  was  sick  all  through  the  summer,  though 
I  studied  my  bible,  and  in  October,  the  2pth  day,  my  little  girl,  Ruby, 
was  born.  She  was  baptized  in  April  by  Charlie  Uzzell,  who  shortly 
afterwards  went  to  Chicago,  his  health  failing  him  here.  A  year 
had  gone  by  and  still  those  words  kept  ringing  in  my  ear:  "Go 
tell  the  people  to  get  ready  to  die."  It  came  so  plainly  to  me  to 
leave  home  and  husband  and  everything  and  go.  This  was  the 
next  day  after  the  trance,  and  this  is  what  came  to  stop  me:  "The 
idea  of  you,  so  ignorant,  so  unlearned — you  know  nothing — the 
idea  of  your  going  and  telling  the  people  to  get  ready  for  the 
judgment  when  you  can  hardly  read  or  write."  Then  I  would 
plead  with  God,  and  hold  up  before  him  my  ignorance,  still  it 
did  not  deaden  the  sound.  Like  the  ringing  of  a  church  bell,  it 
said :  "Go !  go !  go !  Tell  the  people,  tell  the  people !"  Dear 
reader,  you  do  not  know  what  I  have  suffered  for  not  going.  Only 
God  alone  knows.  It  is  too  bad  that  it  takes  us  so  long  to  learn 
to  obey  God's  calling.  I  have  thought  of  Brother  Charlie's  words, 
and  I  would  tell  him  I  had  not  sufficient  education  to  preach  the 
gospel.  It  was  just  one  thing  that  kept  me  from  doing  the  will 
of  God — ignorance.  It  only  takes  one  thing  to  keep  us  out  of 
heaven,  one  little  sin  that  we  will  not  give  up,  and  it  takes  just  one 
sin  to  send  us  to  hell.  As  the  Lord  tells  us :  "One  thing  thou 
lackest." 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  63 


CHAPTER  VI. 

WHEN  my  little  girl  was  three  months  old  she  took  a  dreadful 
cold,  which  developed  into  bronchitis.  She  was  seven 
years  old  before  I  could  see  that  the  child  was  getting  any 
better.  At  this  time  the  dreadful  disease,  together  with 
giving  her  so  much  medicine,  brought  on  indigestion.  This,  with 
her  teething,  made  the  doctors  think  it  impossible  for  her  to  live. 
Night  after  night  I  watched  over  her,  thinking  perhaps  each  night 
would  be  the  last,  till  our  doctor  bill  was  more  than  our  grocery 
bill.  There  was  a  young  girl  stopping  with  us  who  helped  me 
with  my  sick  baby.  This  was  while  we  were  still  living  on  Larimer 
street,  but  we  had  moved  next  door  to  Mrs.  Spalti's,  as  she  was 
undergoing  an  operation,  and  I  cared  for  her  home  that  winter.  In 
the  spring  Mr.  Peterson  wanted  to  move»into  a  place  by  ourselves. 
I  was  so  tired  of  paying  rent  I  wanted  him  to  buy  a  home.  Mr. 
Peterson  would  not  consent.  I  told  him  I  would  not  leave  there 
till  he  bought  a  home.  We  bought  a  place  on  Lafayette  street  the 
last  of  February,  but  did  not  move  till  the  first  of  March.  We 
paid  $300  down  on  the  house  and  $20  monthly  till  our  home  was 
paid  for.  Our  number  is  3519,  and  we  have  lived  there  ever  since. 
In  April  my  child  was  taken  with  measles,  and  together  with  the 
bronchial  trouble,  we  were  afraid  we  would  lose  her.  I  prayed  the 
Lord  to  spare  her  to  me,  promising  that  when  she  was  old  enough 
I  would  preach  the  gospel.  This  was  my  baby's  second  summer, 
and  still  these  words  would  come  to  me,  "woe  be  unto  me  if  I  preach 
not  the  gospel,"  as  it  was  with  Paul  (i  Cor.  9:16).  I  do  believe 
the  Lord  would  have  taken  my  child,  only  he  knew  that  I  meant  to 
keep  my  promise.  Two  or  three  times  every  month  I  would  have 
to  poultice  her  and  put  cotton  batting  jackets  on  her.  I  did  this 
for  five  winters.  The  sixth  winter  I  could  see  that  she  was  a  little 
better.  In  the  fall  of  the  seventh  year  Sister  With  came  up  to  the 
house  and  told  me  she  believed  she  knew  a  doctor  who  could  cure 
my  little  girl.  As  we  were  on  the  way  to  the  doctor's  the  impres- 
sion came  to  me  that  it  would  do  no  good.  I  thought  it  came 
because  I  had  taken  her  to  every  doctor  that  made  the  throat  a 
specialty,  and  still  Sister  With  insisted.  The  doctor  examined  her 
throat  and  prescribed  som6  medicine.  The  next  day  the  impression 
would  come  to  me  all  day  that  the  medicine  would  do  her  no  good, 
and  then  for  the  first  time  since  she  had  been  sick  God  gave  me 
the  faith  to  believe  that  he  would  heal  her.  My  family  physician  told 
me  that  medicine  would  do  her  no  good,  that  she  would  have  to 


64  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

outgrow  it,  and  if  not  it  would  become  chronic.  He  refused  to  do 
anything,  for  he  said  it  was  useless,  and  I  said :  "Lord,  I  will  give 
up  doctors  and  trust  you."  It  was  strange  that  all  these  six  or 
seven  years  I  could  not  have  the  faith.  The  only  reason  I  know 
is  that  it  was  not  God's  time.  During  those  six  years  she  had  this 
bronchial  trouble  all  the  time.  With  her  teething  she  had  spasms 
of  the  stomach,  and  in  those  six  years  she  also  had  measles,  chicken- 
pox,  scarlet  fever,  an  abscess  and  a  stiff  knee,  brought  on  by  a  fall, 
which  caused  her  to  suffer  for  three  months.  As  the  Lord  had  tried 
my  patience  along  those  lines  till  I  believed  patience  had  its  perfect 
work — and  he  saw  fit  to  deliver  me.  During  three  of  those  years 
I  did  but  little  for  the  Lord.  One  Saturday  evening  in  February, 
when  Ruby  was  in  her  fourth  year,  I  was  bathing  her  and  talking 
to  the  Lord,  and  I  told  him  if  I  knew  of  anyone  I  could  get  to 
stay  with  my  little  girl  I  would  begin  to  give  my  time  to  his  work, 
for  he  had  spared  her,  and  I  felt  that  I  must  fulfill  my  promise 
to  him.  We  were  not  a^le  to  pay  anyone,  for  we  were  paying 
for  our  home  and  the  expenses  of  the  sick  child.  The  Lord  knew 
that  he  must  open  some  way  if  I  did  the  work  I  had  promised  to 
do.  By  this  time  I  had  her  ready  for  bed.  As  I  was  holding 
her  on  one  arm  and  turning  down  the  covers  to  put,  her  to  bed, 
about  8  o'clock  in  the  evening,  little  did  I  think  the  Lord  was 
going  to  manifest  himself  to  me  as  he  did.  I  do  not  believe  he  would 
have  done  so  only  he  knew  my  heart  was  almost  broken,  for  he  knew 
I  did  want  to  do  what  I  had  promised.  As  I  was  putting  her  in 
bed  these  words  came  to  me:  "If  the  earth  should  shake,  would 
you  forsake?"  As  I  told  you  before,  I  always  listened  to  every  im- 
pression, no  matter  where  I  was  or  what  I  was  doing,  and  when 
that  thought  came  to  me  I  said :  "Lord,  you  know  I  will  not  forsake 
you.  Have  you  not  tried  me  all  these  three  years,  and  above  all, 
have  I  not  been  passing  through  deep  waters  during  the  last  two 
weeks?"  And  he  knew  what  I  meant,  for  I  had  been  telling  him 
for  two  weeks  that  I  couldn't  do  anything  for  him,  for  Mr.  Peter- 
son was  not  willing,  and  when  I  came  to  that  place  where  I  said, 
"Lord,  I  will  whether  I  can  see  my  way  out  or  not"  (and  it  was 
suffering  that  brought  me  to  this  place),  the  same  feeling  came 
over  me  that  did  the  Friday  four  weeks  after  I  was  converted,  and 
in  a  moment  I  covered  the  baby  and  sat  down  on  the  bed,  and  I 
drifted  away,  as  I  told  you  I  did  on  that  Friday  night.  As  I  stopped 
drifting  the  same  words  were  asked  me  again :  "If  the  earth  shook, 
would  you  forsake?"  and  as  I  went  to  answer  I  saw  these  words, 
which  were  so  indelibly  stamped  on  my  mind,  it  is  easy  for  me 
to  repeat  them.  Passing  through  this  deep  water  of  sorrow  started 
the  work  of  sanctification  in  my  heart,  and  seeing  these  words 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  65 

gave  me  courage  and  strength.  These  were  the  words:  "If  the 
earth  should  shake,  I'll  never,  no  never,  forsake."  I  have  sought 
for  peace  and  comfort  in  all  this  world's  pleasures.  The  farther 
I  went  the  darker  it  grew.  It  was  there  the  Savior  spoke  peace  to 
my  soul.  Then  why  can  I  not  say:  "If  the  earth  should  shake, 
I'll  never,  no  never,  forsake?"  It  was  there  he  took  my  feet  from 
out  the  mire  and  clay  and  placed  them  upon  the  rock  of  ages.  By 
his  grace  I'll  stand,  though  the  earth  should  shake.  I  will  never, 
no  never,  forsake. 

Since  these  two  experiences  I  cannot  help  believing  in  trances, 
and  in  hearing  and  seeing,  as  people  did  of  old.  As  I  said,  this 
was  the  beginning  of  the  work  of  sanctification.  I  made  this  con- 
secration and  then  walked  in  the  light  of  it.  This  was  on  Wednes- 
day evening  at  prayer-meeting  when  I  told  the  Lord  I  would  do 
or  say  anything  as  he  led  me.  He  knew  that  I  knew  how  to  be 
led  by  the  Spirit,  for  he  had  given  me  the  Spirit  four  weeks  after 
I  was  converted.  He  took  me  at  my  word.  On  the  way  home  that 
evening  I  was  telling  him  about  my  ugly  temper,  and  how  I  would 
give  way  to  it  at  every  little  thing  and  say  hateful  words,  and  in 
this  Wednesday  evening  prayer  meeting  I  told  them  that  I  knew 
I  had  been  forgiven,  and  that  he  had  given  me  his  Spirit,  and  yet 
I  felt  I  was  such  a  poor  Christian.  When  I  would  pray  the  thought 
would  come  to  me :  "You  are  a  nice  Christian,  getting  angry  all  the 
time."  Or  "nervous,"  as  some  call  it  .  The  devil  would  rather 
have  us  give  it  that  name,  for  it  does  not  sound  quite  so  bad.  Every 
time  I  would  go  to  the  sick-bed  to  kneel  down  and  pray  this  thought 
would  come :  "You  are  a  nice  Christian  to  pray  for  the  sick."  I 
thought  at  the  time  it  was  the  devil,  but  since  I  am  convinced  that 
it  was  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord.  If  it  had  been  the  evil  one  he^  would 
no  have  let  me  be  bothered.  I  told  them  in  my  testimony  that  I 
wanted  a  religion  that  would  keep  me  at  the  washtub  or  anywhere, 
as  it  did  in  the  prayer  meeting.  After  the  meeting  a  lady  came  to 
me,  who  had  been  a  Christian  for  years,  and  told  me  I  would  always 
have  that  temper ;  that  I  need  not  mind  that ;  that  I  could  not  help 
it.  I  told  her  I  wanted  a  religion  that  would  keep  me  as  sweet 
at  home  as  I  was  there,  and  I  would  never  be  satisfied  till  I  had  it. 
"Yes,"  she  said,  "it  would  be  nice  to  have  that  kind  of  religion." 
I  could  not  keep  it  out  of  my  mind.  To  think  that  I  must  go  on  like 
this  all  through  the  years;  that  every  time  I  prayed  for  anyone 
this  must  come  up :  You  are  a  nice  Christian.  I  had  borne  with 
my  temper  so  long  that  I  hated  myself.  I  was  dissatisfied  with 
myself,  not  with  the  religion  I  had,  for  I  would  not  give  that  up; 
but  I  felt  I  did  not  have  enough  to  keep  me.  Every  time  I  became 
angry  I  was  sorry  afterwards,  and  I  knew  I  should  be  or  I  would 


66  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

not  feel  so.  I  knew  God  was  able  to  take  the  things  that  were 
wrong  out  of  one's  life.  This  was  my  consecration :  "Lord,  help  me 
in  this,  and  I  will  do  anything."  The  Lord  took  me  at  my  word, 
and  on  my  way  home,  at  Twentieth  and  Larimer  streets,  some  one 
called  my  name,  and  said:  "Is  that  you?"  I  said:  "Yes,  Brother 
M — ."  He  had  gotten  away  from  the  Lord  and  was  drinking.  He 
could  not  walk  straight  when  he  came  up  to  me,  took  my  arm,  and 
wanted  me  to  take  the  car  and  ride  home.  I  was  ashamed  to  get 
in  the  car  with  him,  he  was  so  drunk,  so  we  walked  up  together, 
over  a  mile.  When  we  came  to  his  house  I  bade  him  good  night, 
for  I  had  six  more  blocks  to  walk.  I  told  him  I  would  be  down 
in  the  morning  to  see  his  wife.  He  had  promised  me  he  would  stop 
drinking  and  be  a  Christian.  As  soon  as  my  work  was  done  the 
next  morning  I  went  second  door  and  asked  Sister  G — .  if  she  would 
care  for  Ruby  till  I  returned.  She  agreed,  and  I  went  on  my  mis- 
sion. It  was  the  first  drunkard's  home  I  ever  saw — and  what  a 
home!  The  window-lights  were  broken,  and  the  mother  and  three 
children  had  rags  stuffed  in  the  windows  to  keep  out  the  cold. 
She  knew  who  I  was,  for  she  had  seen  me  at  the  Tabernacle.  I 
asked  her  if  her  .husband  had  told  her  of  meeting  me.  I  told 
her  I  had  come  to  get  her  to  go  to  church.  She  said  there  was  no 
need  of  trying,  that  he  would  not  stop  drinking.  When  I  was  ready 
to  go  I  said:  "Let  us  pray,  Sister  M — ."  Before  we  prayed  I 
could  not  get  her  to  say  she  would  go  to  church.  She  said  I  could 
come  and  get  him  to  go  if  he  would,  but  there  was  no  use  for  her 
to  try  to  be  a  Christian  with  him  drinking  as  he  was.  After  we 
prayed,  she  said:  "Perhaps  I. will  go."  I  could  see  she  felt  better. 
Her  husband  had  promised  her  he  would  not  drink  any  that  day. 
I  told  her  I  would  come  for  her  to  go  to  church  that  evening.  I 
stopped  for  them  a  little  early,  and  he  was  not  at  home.  Sister 
M —  said:  "I  am  sure  he  is  drinking,  or  he  would  be  here."  I 
said:  "The  Lord  surely  will  answer  prayer."  Still  she  would  not 
go.  She  was  sure  he  was  drinking.  I  stopped  on  my  way  back 
to  see  if  he  had  come  home.-  He  was  in  bed.  She  told  me  he  had 
been  drinking  all  day.  I  told  her  I  would  not  believe  but  that  he 
would  come  to  the  Lord.  I  stopped  the  next  evening  and  the  poor 
fellow  was  sitting  in  the  kitchen,  partly  lying  on  the  table,  sound 
asleep  in  one  of  his  drunken  sleeps.  Sister  M —  said :  "Do  you  see 
what  a  state  he's  in?  Do  not  awaken  him.  Let  him  sleep  off  his 
drunk;  for  if  he  is  awakened  in  this  state  he  is  just  as  if  he  was 
crazy.  He  will  break  up  everything  in  the  house,  for  I  know  how 
he  does  if  he  is  awakened."  I  said:  "Sister  M — ,  I  will  not  go 
away  without  praying,"  for  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord  was  upon  me  to 
pray.  She  took  me  into  the  front  room  and  said :  "Let  us  pray 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  67 

here,  but  pray  softly."  As  I  was  kneeling  to  pray,  the  feeling  came 
over  me  to  go  in  and  kneel  down  by  him,  and  I  remembered  I 
had  promised  to  do  anything  that  came  to  me,  so  I  told  her  how 
I  felt.  She  said  I  shouldn't  do  that;  I  did  not  know  him  as  well 
as  she  did.  The  feeling  in  my  soul  fo*  that  drunken  man  could 
not  have  been  worse  if  he  had  been  drowning  and  no  one  to 
help  him.  It  seemed  I  could  not  be  more  earnest  for  my  own  hus- 
band or  brother  than  I  was  for  him.  God  put  that  love  and  earnest- 
ness into  my  heart  for  that  man. 

I  felt  if  I  left  him  like  that  he  would  be  lost.  I  went  into 
the  kitchen  and  knelt  down  by  him  and  prayed.  It  was  not  long 
till  he  began  to  groan  and  straighten  up.  I  was  so  much  in 
earnest  I  wasn't  praying  very  low.  When  he  began  to  make  so  much 
noise  in  trying  to  sit  up,  I  could  not  help  thinking  that  he  might 
strike  me,  and  it  was  all  I  could  do  to  keep  from  rising  to  my  feet. 
I  began  to  think  Sister  M —  was  right,  and  it  would  have  been  better 
for  me  to  have  prayed  in  the  front  room ;  but  I  kept  on  till  the  feel- 
ing of  fear  left  me,  and  everything  was  still.  As  I  rose  to  my  feet 
I  looked  to  see  what  had  become  of  my  brother.  He  was  sitting 
there  looking  at  me,  and  I  said :  "Brother  M — ,  do  you  know 
what  you  promised  me  last  night?"  He  said:  "Yes,  and  I  am 
ashamed  of  myself."  He  seemed  to  be  sober  and  thoughtful.  He 
said  to  his  wife :  "Now  look  here,  Minnie,  I  am  not  drunk.  I 
can  walk  straight."  He  crossed  the  floor,  took  down  his  overcoat, 
and  said,  "I  am  going  to  church,"  and  asked  her  if  she  would 
go.  She  said :  "Do  you  think  I  am  fool  enough  to  go  with 
you  like  that?  Mrs.  Peterson,  if  you  want  to  go,  yon  can;  but  I 
will  not."  He  wanted  to  take  the  street  car,  but  I  thought  it  best 
to  walk.  He  would  be  in  a  better  condition  to  give  his  heart  to 
God  when  we  got  to  church.  Walking  through  the  cool  night  air 
seemed  to  sober  him  up.  He  went  forward,  and  was  thoroughly 
converted.  I  could  not  sleep  that  night,  I  was  so  happy  to  think 
what  God  had  done  for  that  family.  I  went  home  with  him  and 
we  had  prayer,  and  I  bade  them  good  night.  I  stopped  the  next 
evening  and  she  went,  for  she  was  convinced  he  was  a  converted 
man.  Inside  of  a  week  she  was  converted,  and  the  first  communion 
day  the  whole  family  was  taken  into  the  church. 

This  whole  week  I  had  been  praying  for  God  to  send  some- 
one to  open  the  way  somehow,  so  that  I  might  do  more  for  him. 
One  afternoon  a  lady  called  and  asked  me  if  I  had  rooms  to  rent. 
I  had  not  thought  of  renting  rooms,  but  I  at  once  saw  the  advan- 
tage of  it.  I  could  let  her  have  the  rooms  a  little  cheaper  if  she 
would  care  for  my  little  girl  at  nights,  for  Mr.  Peterson  was 
working  nights.  I  told  her  to  come  back  at  7  in  the  evening  and 


68  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

I  would  let  her  know.  I  told  Mr.  Peterson  that  she  wanted  the 
rooms,  and  how  nice  it  would  be  for  me,  as  I  was  alone  nights.  I 
did  not  tell  him  my  object  in  letting  her  take  them.  I  told  her  1 
would  let  her  have  the  rooms  cheap,  if  she  would  care  for  my  baby 
evenings  when  she  was  at  home.  She  was  a  nurse,  and  part  of 
the  time  she  was  away.  When  she  was  not  at  home  I  would  get 
Sister  M — 's  oldest  girl  to  stay  Sundays  and  Wednesdays,  and  the 
weeks  when  we  had  revival  services.  This  is  the  way  the  Lord 
opened  the  way  for  me.  Still  I  had  trouble  about  going.  Mr. 
Peterson  objected.  He  thought  I  ought  not  to  go  except  on  Sunday 
mornings.  He  thought  that  was  enough.  I  would  rather  give  up 
home,  child  or  anything,  than  to  break  my  promise  with  God.  This 
lady  was  a  Christian  lady,  but  she  did  not  understand  being  led 
by  the  Spirit.  One  evening  when  we  had  held  a  week's  revival, 
and  I  had  gone  every  night,  when  Saturday  evening  came  I  was 
tired  and  told  her  I  would  not  go  that  evening.  She  bade  me 
good  night  and  went  upstairs.  I  had  everything  ready  to  bathe 
my  little  girl,  when  I  felt  I  must  go  to  church.  I  said :  "Lord, 
you  know  that  I  have  gone  all  the  week,  and  I  want  to  get  ready 
for  Sunday."  This  is  the  way  I  always  talk  to  the  Lord — as  I 
would  to  a  person.  It  is  the  only  way  to  be  led  by  the  Spirit. 
I  went  and  got  the  bathtub,  and  the  thought  came  again,  "go  to 
church."  I  could  not  see  why  the  Lord  came  to  me,  telling  me  to 
go,  but  I  said :  "Lord,  if  you  want  me  to  go,  I'll  go."  I  put  the 
bathtub  away,  and  went  upstairs  and  asked  Sister  R —  if  she  would 
tend  the  baby.  She  said :  "Yes,  but  I  thought  you  were  not 
going."  I  said :  "Yes,  the  Lord  wants  me  to  go."  She  answered : 
"I  am  surprised  at  you.  If  I  did  not  know  better,  I  would  think 
you  were  crazy  to  hear  you  talk  about  the  Lord  leading  you.  As 
I  watch  you  about  the  house,  in  everything  you  do,  and  say,  you 
are  all  right,  only  on  this  subject."  I  said:  "Sister  R — ,  I  have 
watched  the  leading  of  the  Spirit  and  seen  the  result,  till  you 
could  not  convince  me  that  I  do  not  know  it  is  the  Lord  leading 
me."  Think  of  all  that  I  had  to  hinder  me  in  those  two  weeks  of 
consecration !  I  kept  right  on.  I  was  so  much  in  earnest  that  I  had 
forgotten  all  about  getting  angry,  or  at  least  I  had  no  time,  or 
did  not  feel  like  it.  My  heart  was  so  rilled  with  love  to  get  that 
dear  family  saved  that  the  devil  had  no  chance  to  tempt  me  in 
that  line.  I  went  to  church  that  evening  wondering  why  the 
Lord  wanted  me  to  go. 

I  took  my  seat  in  the  choir.  I  could  not  sing  much,  but  there 
were  few  to  help.  After  they  had  sung  three  or  four  songs,  Sister 
Graham  was  holding  the  revival  services,  and  as  she  stood  up  to 
read  the  lesson,  the  joy  of  the  Lord  filled  my  heart  so  that  by 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  69 

the  time  she  was  ready  to  read  I  felt  something  letting  loose  in 
my  heart  like  someone  pulling  a  sunflower  out  of  my  heart  by 
the  roots.  Did  you  ever  try  to  pull  a  sunflower,  with  great  long 
roots,  and  as  you  pulled  you  could  feel  the  old  roots  give  way, 
then  out  it  would  come?  Can  you  remember  when  you  looked  at 
that  root  how  big  it  was,  with  a  great  lump  of  dirt  clinging  to  it; 
and  all  through  the  dirt  hundreds  of  little  roots  were  running?  I 
do  not  believe  the  Lord  was  one  moment  pulling  the  old  sunflower, 
Adam,  out  of  my  heart.  I  cannot  tell  you  how  happy  I  was.  All 
the  time  they  were  singing  those  songs  the  Holy  Spirit  was  getting 
hold  of  the  old  Adam  nature.  I  did  not  know  what  he  was  doing 
till  it  was  done,  but  when  he  pulled  I  jumped,  and  all  over  that 
platform  I  went.  I  could  not  help  it.  Sister  Graham  had  to  wait 
till  I  was  through  rejoicing.  They  started  up  a  song  while  I  was 
praising  God.  I  put  my  hand  on  everyone  in  the  choir  and  they 
would  jump,  for  my  hands  were  as  cold  as  ice.  I  got  Brother 
Uzzell  by  the  hand  and  shoulder,  and  while  I  was  shaking  him, 
I  said:  "Brother  Uzzell,  there  is  nothing  impossible  with  God."  I 
do  not  remember  how  many  times  I  repeated  those  words.  I  knew 
the  tears  were  running  down  his  face.  The  old  sunflower,  root 
and  all,  was  gone,  and  in  its  place  there  seemed  to  be  a  boiling 
spring.  Did  you  ever  see  a  boiling  spring — boiling  up  and  the 
water  all  calm  around  it?  Did  you  ever  try  to  throw  a  stick 
upon  that  boiling  water?  How  quickly  the  stick  would  fly  off  and 
float  around  in  the  still  water!  This  is  the  way  my  heart  felt. 
Think  how  long  it  took  to  prepare  me  so  that  the  Lord  could 
take  out  the  old  nature!  For  two  weeks  he  sent  blessing  after 
blessing,  to  water  my  heart,  so  that  he  could  pull  out  the  old,  evil 
nature.  And  then  how  he  tried  those  blessing?  those  two  weeks! 
For  he  will  have  a  tried  people.  I  thank  God  I  stood  the  test.  If 
I  had  not,  after  he  had  given  me  the  blessings,  do  you  not  see 
that  I  would  have  hindered  him,  and  stopped  him  from  taking  out 
the  old  Adam  nature?  So  many  take  this  blessing  for  sanctifica- 
tion,  and  stop  there,  and  that  is  why  they  are  saying  things  that 
are  not  becoming  to  a  sanctified  person.  They  have  only  got 
the  blessing,  not  the  blesser.  The  sinner  has  conviction  to  help 
him,  and  yet  how  many  stop  at  conviction  and  think  it  is  conver- 
sion,  and  are  taken  into  the  church  to  find  out  afterward  that 
they  have  not  yet  been  born  again.  I  have  met  hundreds  that  have 
stopped  at  this  blessing,  thinking  they  were  sanctified.  You  can 
have  five  or  six  blessings  almost  as  great  as  sanctification  and  think 
that  you  are  sanctified  when  you  are  not.  I  know  preachers  who 
have  claimed  this  blessing,  and  to-day  they  do  not  believe  very 
much  in  it,  or  at  least  they  do  not  profess  it.  I  do  not  doubt  but 


7O  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

what  they  got  the  blessing,  but  did  not  go  far  enough.  If  they 
had  received  the  blessing  of  sanctification  they  could  never  forget 
the  time  and  place.  When  God  permitted  Satan  to  test  the  blessing 
of  consecration  they  did  not  stand  the  test,  and  were  not  true  to 
their  consecration.  It  might  seem  a  little  thing  to  be  untrue  to 
consecration',  and  yet  it  would  be  a  big  thing  in  the  eyes  of  God. 
God  will  not  send  great  trials  to  test  consecration.  It  will  be 
some  little  thing,  and  he  tells  us  in  his  word  if  we  will  be  faithful 
in  that  which  is  least  we  are  faithful  in  much.  My  advice  to 
you  is  when  you  feel  led  to  go  to  the  altar,  and  then  pray  and  watch 
and  obey  and  live,  and  in  all  those  things  you  know  you  will  have 
to  exercise  faith.  This  is  what  it  means  to  walk  in  all  the  light  you 
have,  and  when  you  do  this  the  vessel  is  only  preparing  itself. 
This  is  what  the  Lord  means  when  he  says  in  his  word,  "cleanse 
yourself."  In  consecration  you  begin  the  work  of  cleansing  your- 
self, and  then  the  Lord  does  his  part.  He  finishes  the  work  if 
you  are  faithful  in  walking  in  your  consecration.  You  must  re- 
member, we  must  walk  up  to  all  the  light  in  our  justified  state, 
in  order  that  the  Spirit  may  help  us  to  make  the  consecration. 
So  you  see  it  all  must  be  done,  or  the  Spirit  must  help  you  do  it. 
There  are  so  many  who  try  to  make  the  consecration  in  their  own 
strength,  and  that  is  why  their  consecration  is  a  failure.  Perhaps 
they  have  been  living  for  years  in  what  they  think  a  justified  state, 
without  the  Spirit,  and  then  when  they  seek  for  consecration,  they 
get  the  Spirit  they  ought  to  have  had  all  these  years.  And  then 
they  think  they  are  sanctified  when  they  are  only  justified.  I  know 
this  'to  be  a  fact.  Hundreds  of  times  both  men  and  women  have 
asked  me  how  I  could  tell  when  I  was  led  by  the  Spirit.  I  know 
there  is  a  difference  because  I  lived  four  weeks  without  the  Spirit 
after  I  was  converted.  I  felt  the  Spirit  with  me  and  a  comfort 
in  my  heart  through  faith  the  Lord  gave  me.  I  was  a  believer, 
and  knew  from  the  comfort  I  had  that  my  sins  were  forgiven. 
And  when  I  say  this  I  say  all.  The  only  time  I  felt  the  Spirit  in 
me  was  when  I  went  forward  and  gave  my  first  testimony.  He 
came  and  helped  me  to  make  my  first  confession.  I  could  feel  him 
all  around  me.  A  desire  was  in  me  to  testify  and  pray;  and 

I  knew  the  difference  between  the  desire  to  pray  and  having  the 
Spirit,  as  I  did  when  I  made  my  first  confession.  The  first  time 
I  confessed  Christ  my  very  soul  was  filled.  There  was  no  fear 
there,  and  then  some  way  there  seemed  to  creep  in  fears  and 
tremblings. 

Why  was  it  I  had  this  fear?  It  was  because  I  did  not  have 
the  Spirit.  I  had  what  I  asked  the  Lord  for.  I  asked  him  to  for- 
give me  and  he  did.  I  had  not  asked  him  to  give  me  the  Spirit, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  71 

and  he  only  gives  us  what  we  ask  him  for,  or  what  we  desire 
when  we  ask.  I  tumbled  around  for  two  weeks  desiring  to  talk 
and  pray,  not  desiring  the  Spirit  to  help  me  talk  and  pray.  I  got 
tired  of  tumbling  around  full  of  fears,  and  then  I  began  in  dead 
earnest,  asking  the  Lord  to  give  me  what  I  had  when  I  gave  my 
first  testimony.  The  Lord  heard  my  pleadings  and  the  Holy  Spirit 
came  like  a  flood  at  the  end  of  my  four  weeks'  struggle.  I  did 
not  know  how  to  come  to  the  Lord  and  ask  for  the  Spirit.  All 
I  could  ask  for  was  for  something  to  help  me,  and  the  Lord  knew 
what  I  meant.  It  was  not  long  till  I  realized  this  feeling  was  the 
Spirit,  for  I  had  no  one  to  tell  me  that  we  had  to  ask  for  the 
Spirit  after  we  were  converted. 

CHAPTER  VII. 

AFTER  I  received  the  Spirit,  as  soon  as  I  would  go  into  a  meeting 
I  would  begin  to  trust,  and  pray  the  Lord  to  fill  me  with 
this  Spirit;  and  when  I  got  him  I  knew  I  could  talk  or 
pray  and  he  would  never  disappoint  me.  I  trust  this  will 
help  you,  dear  reader,  to  get  the  Spirit  the  first  thing  after  your  con- 
version. To  make  it  plainer,  I  will  tell  you  of  one  experience  with 
my  niece.  There  were  many  others,  but  I  will  only  speak  of  her. 
Jennie  was  converted  at  her  home  in  Kansas.  She  lived  for 
six  years  believing  her  sins  to  be  forgiven.  Like  many  others,  with 
myself,  she  did  not  know  anything  about  the  Spirit  leading  her. 
After  six  years  she  came  to  Denver  to  make  her  home  with  me. 
I  would  tell  her  how  the  Lord  led  me  to  do  this,  or  say  that, 
and  when  the  Spirit  would  stop  me  I  would  say  to  her:  "Jennie, 
the  Lord  does  not  want  me  to  do  that.  He  leads  me  in  another 
way."  It  will  keep  anyone  busy  if  they  watch  all  the  leadings  of 
the  Spirit.  They  will  have  no  time  to  watch  anyone  else.  If  they 
do  they  are  stealing  time  that  should  be  given  to  the  Holy  Spirit. 
When  I  would  talk  to  my  niece  like  this,  I  noticed  her  look  at 
me.  So  one  morning  after  she  had  been  here  awhile,  she  said : 
"Aunt  Ray,  I  wish  I  could  feel  like  you  do.  I  wish  the  Spirit  would 
lead  me  as  it  does  you,  and  I  could  know  that  he  did."  I  said :  "Jen- 
nie, we  will  get  down  here  and  pray  the  Lord  to  give  you  the  Spirit." 
As  I  prayed,  this  passage  of  scripture  came  to  me:  "The  Lord  is 
more  willing  to  give  the  Spirit  to  them  that  ask,  than  we  are  to 
ask."  The  Spirit  came  to  help  me  to  ask  for  advice  for  my  niece, 
and  when  I  was  through  asking  she  was  in  good  condition  to  ask 
for  herself.  In  the  middle  of  her  prayer  the  words  seemed  to 
be  put  into  my  mouth:  "Lord,  give  her  the  Spirit."  Every  time 
I  said  "Lord,  give  her  the  Spirit,"  she  said  that  the  Spirit  would 


72  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

come,  and  it  seemed  to  her  her  very  hands  were  glued  to  the  chair. 
Ever  after  that  she  knew  what  it  meant  to  be  led  by  the  Spirit.  She 
depended  on  him  ever  after,  to  help  her  pray. 

It  was  Saturday  evening  that  the  Adam  nature  was  taken  out 
of  my  heart.  I  thought  when  I  was  converted  that  I  was  as  happy 
as  anyone  could  be,  but  when  I  received  the  Spirit  that  seemed 
greater  than  any  conversion.  The  Lord  tells  us  in  his  word,  that 
when  we  are  converted  the  refreshing  conies  from  the  presence 
of  the  Lord.  The  refreshing  surely  came  when  he  gave  me  the 
Spirit ;  but  when  he  took  out  the  old  Adam  nature  it  seemed  greatest 
of  all.  How  true  the  song,  that  it  is  better  farther  on.  When 
the  work  of  sanctification  began  in  my  life  I  had  never  heard  a  ser- 
mon on  this  subject,  and  knew  nothing  about  it.  The  Lord  did  not 
wait  for  me  to  be  taught,  but  he  led  and  gave  me  the  experience 
through  faith  and  obedience  to  him. 

The  Lord  did  not  lead  me  to  say  much  about  this  blessing.  Only 
occasionally  would  I  speak  of  it.  When  anyone  asked  me  if  I  be- 
lieved in  it  before  I  received  it,  I  would  say:  "I  must,  for  it  is 
the  bible."  When  they  asked  me  after  I  received  the  blessing,  I 
would  tell  them,  without  a  doubt  I  had  received  the  blessing,  for 
it  was  as  plain  an  experience  as  any  conversion,  or  when  I  received 
the  Spirit,  four  weeks  after  conversion.  After  we  receive  this 
blessing  the  Lord  wants  us  to  live  it  in  every  sense  of  the  word.  All 
the  next  day  I  told  everybody  that  the  Lord  had  taken  something 
out  of  my  heart,  and  then  told  them  of  the  boiling  spring  that  was 
welling  up  in  my  heart.  The  experience  was  even  greater  than  my 
conversion.  When  I  got  up  Monday  morning  (it  had  always  been 
wash-day  for  me)  the  spring  was  still  boiling  in  my  heart.  I  was 
too  happy  to  settle  myself  to  wash.  I  could  not  remember  the 
time  when  I  had  not  washed  on  Monday  for  years,  except  when 
my  little  girl  was  sick.  Mr.  Peterson  came  home  about  7 130  in  the 
morning,  and  while  we  were  eating  breakfast  I  told  him  of  my 
experience.  I  could  see  how  uneasy  he  was  all  the  time  I  was 
telling  him.  After  breakfast  he  took  our  little  girl,  Ruby,  and 
went  out  for  a  walk.  While  he  was  gone  I  washed  up  the  dishes 
and  had  all  the  work  done  but  the  sweeping.  All  the  time  I  was 
doing  the  work  I  was  thanking  God  for  his  goodness  to  me  during 
the  last  two  or  three  days,  not  thinking  much  about  the  work, 
for  that  seemed  second  nature  to  me.  I  took  the  broom  and  started 
into  the  parlor  to  sweep  the  floor.  I  had  been  asking  the  Lord  to 
let  me  know,  in  some  way,  if  I  had  pleased  him  in  the  last  three 
weeks'  test.  I  did  not  care  how  he  let  me  know,  for  I  said :  "Lord, 
you  know  how  I  have  suffered  to  do  thy  will,  and  I  want  to  know 
if  I  have  pleased  thee."  It  seemed  I  would  be  willing  to  do  any- 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  73 

thing  if  he  would  let  me  know.  I  had  not  given  one  thought  as  to 
how  he  would  let  me  know,  and  as  I  stood  on  the  floor,  ready  to 
sweep,  all  at  once  these  words  came  to  ••me:  "Why,  child."  I 
stopped,  stood  there,  and  again  the  same  words  came,  as  a  mother 
would  speak  to  her  child,  emphasizing  the  two  words :  "Why, 
child."  Not  dreaming  of  such  a  thing,  the  same  feeling  came  to 
me  that  came  when  he  asked  me  if  my  lamp  was  trimmed  and 
burning;  and  the  same  feeling  that  I  had  nine  days  before  the 
Saturday  evening  when  he  asked  me  if  I  would  forsake  him.  When 
I  felt  this  drifting  feeling  I  knew  what  was  coming,  and  I  sat  down 
in  a  chair  that  was  standing  by  my  side,  and  I  drifted  away  some- 
where. When  I  felt  myself  stop  the  same  words  came,  "why,  child,' 
and  I  saw  these  words,  and  as  I  read  them  the  Spirit  stamped 
them  upon  my  memory,  so  that  I  can  never  forget  them.  The 
following  are  the  words:  "My  child,  you  ought  to  rejoice  more 
when  you  know  you  are  on  your  journey  home.  Through  clouds 
thickly  gather  around  you,  you  know  you  have  the  bible  for  your 
compass,  and  the  Savior  for  your  captain.  The  days  are  swiftly 
gliding  by  when  time  shall  be  no  more.  'Tis  then  the  curtain, 
which  is  death,  will  be  drawn  aside  and  you  see  plainly  on  the 
other  shore.  Tis  then  you  will  forget  the  stormy  voyage  here; 
'tis  then  you  will  forget  this  body  of  clay,  for  the  Savior  is  your 
captain,  and  he  will  land  you  safely  on  the  other  shore,  where 
the  angels  sing  for  evermore."  And  as  I  was  drifting  back,  the 
same  trumpet  was  placed  to  my  ear  and  I  could  hear  these  words 
like  thunder:  "You  go  and  tell  the  people  to  get  ready  to  die, 
tell  them  to  get  ready  for  the  judgment." 

Before  I  was  through  sweeping  Mr.  Peterson  came  home. 
After  he  went  to  work  that  evening  I  went  over  to  see  a  lady  on 
the  next  street,  a  Mrs.  Linch,  and  she  asked  me  what  was  the  mat- 
ter, and  I  said  nothing.  She  said  Mr.  Peterson  was  over  in  the 
morning  and  told  her  he  did  not  know  what  was  the  matter  with 
Rachel.  Mrs.  Linch  asked  him  what  he  meant.  He  said  there 
was  the  strangest  feeling  in  the  kitchen  that  morning  while  I  was 
telling  him  my  experience.  He  said :  "Mrs.  Linch,  I  must  stop 
hindering  that  woman  as  I  have  been  doing  or  God  will  do  some- 
thing with  me."  This  did  me  so  much  good,  for  I  had  been 
asking  the  Lord  to  make  him  a  better  man.  And  from  that  day 
to  this  he  has  been.  Before  that,  for  two  years,  he  would  not  give 
me  carfare,  in  order  to  keep  me  home.  He  thought  I  would  stop, 
that  I  would  get  tired  of  walking  the  two  miles  to  church.  He 
thought  I  could  be  a  Christian  all  right  and  stay  at  home.  Before 
that  I  sold  butter  out  of  the  cellar  to  pay  my  carfare  when  it  was 
too  stormy  to  walk.  The  suffering  and  self-denial  was  nothing  to 


74  THE      LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

compare  with  the  way  the  Lord  would  bless  me.  After  that  he 
gave  me  the  pocketbook.  We  were  paying  for  our  home,  and 
with  the  interest  and  other  expenses,  it  consumed  the  money  every 
month.  The  last  week  of  my  suffering,  before  I  gained  this  vic- 
tory, I  shall  never  forget.  I  have  said  Mr.  Peterson  worked  nights. 
I  have  already  told  of  one  of  the  crosses,  now  I  will  tell  of  the 
other  that  I  had  to  bear. 

I  took  my  little  three-year-old  girl  upon  my  lap  one  evening 
and  had  a  good  cry,  for  these  two  crosses  together  seemed  more 
than  I  could  bear.  It  is  a  little  story,  and  perhaps  will  amuse  you. 

CHAPTER  VIII. 

ONE  of  the  musicians  in  the  choir  took  a  desperate  fancy  to  me. 
He  was  a  grand,  noble,  intelligent-looking  fellow.  He  was 
a  man  to  attract  anyone,  and  when  I  felt  an  admiration 
springing  in  my  heart,  I  said :  "Dear  Lord,  this  will  never 
do.  I  am  a  Christian,  a  mother  and  a  wife,  and  this  will  not  do." 
And  I  prayed  God  that  this  might  be  taken  away  that  it  might 
not  trouble  me,  and  with  it  all  the  other  trials.  I  dare  not  go  to 
anyone,  for  if  I  did  I  knew  they  would  make  harm  of  it.  I  had 
nowhere  to  go  but  to  the  Lord.  I  told  Sister  Spalti's  daughter,  but 
she  was  too  young  to  help  me  in  her  prayers,  though  I  could  trust 
her.  One  Sunday  evening  I  was  tempted  to  stay  away  from  the 
church  and  never  go  back.  Still  I  knew  the  Lord  wanted  me  to 
go.  I  knew  I  had  done  nothing,  that  I  knew  my  own  heart  and 
that  I  did  not  intend  to  do  anything  that  would  displease  the 
Lord ;  but  my  heart  was  so  sad  I  did  not  see  how  I  could  lead  the 
young  converts'  meeting,  I  said:  "What  can  I  say  that  would  en- 
courage them,  when  I  myself  am  discouraged  and  cast  down. 
But  I  will  go  and  do  my  duty,  that  is  all  I  can  do — and  trust  God 
to  help  me."  So  I  got  ready,  put  my  little  girl  to  sleep,  and  the 
lady  that  had  my  rooms  took  care  of  her.  I  took  my  place  as  leader 
in  the  meeting,  and  said:  "Now,  Lord,  help  me."  And  as  I 
trusted  the  Spirit  came,  and  we  had  a  grand  meeting.  At  the 
close  of  the  services  we  all  went  into  the  main  part  of  the  church, 
the  prayer  meeting  being  held  in  a  side  room.  As  I  took  my  seat 
in  the  choir  the  same  heartache  came  back  to  me  again.  I  knew 
Brother  Uzzell  would  call  on  me  to  pray,  and  my  heart  was  so  sad. 
Were  you  ever  so  sad  you  wanted  to  go  away  from  everything  and 
everybody  and  nurse  your  sad  heart?  Well,  this  is  the  way  I  felt. 
I  had  suffered  so  much  with  everything  coming  in  my  way 
that  I  thought  everyone  in  the  choir  could  not  help  feeling  how 
sad  I  was.  After  singing  a  few  songs  Brother  Uzzell  called  upon 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  75 

me  to  pray.  As  he  turned  to  me  and  said,  "Sister  Peterson,  lead  us 
in  prayer,"  it  seemed  to  me  he  was  cruel  to  call  on  me,  and  my 
heart  so  nearly  broken.  Think  of  me  having  to  pray  in  that  con- 
dition. I  wondered  what  I  would  say.  I  put  my  hands  on  each 
side  of  my  chair  and  lifted  myself,  then  dropped  on  my  knees  and 
said:  "Dear  Lord,  help  me  at  this  time."  Not  one  in  that  great 
audience  that  night  knew  what  it  cost  me,  or  how  much  it  meant 
when  I  said :  "Dear  Lord,  help  us."  Sister  Mollie  knew,  but  she 
was  too  young  to  realize.  When  I  uttered  these  words  my  eyes  were 
closed,  but  my  spiritual  eyes  showed  me  a  light.  I  am  not  what 
the  world  would  call  a  spiritualist,  yet  if  it  were  my  last  words 
on  earth  I  could  say  I  saw  a  light.  It  was  to  the  right  of  me,  and 
seemed  to  be  as  high  from  the  floor  as  the  back  of  a  chair,  and 
as  wide  as  a  man's  hand.  I  did  not  seem  to  think  of  its  length, 
but  it  was  all  beautiful,  mellow  colors  like  the  rainbow.  At  the 
same  time  I  felt  the  power  of  the  Spirit.  I  was  made  to  know 
that  this  light  was  the  Holy  Ghost ;  that  he  had  come  to  help  me 
because  I  was  willing  to  suffer  and  stand  at  the  post  of  duty.  I 
don't  believe  I  ever  had  such  power  to  pray,  for  several  came  to 
me  after  the  services  and  said :  "Sister  Peterson,  I  never  heard 
you  pray  as  you  did  to-night."  Little  did  they  know  what  caused 
me  to  pray  as  I  did.  How  few  know  that  it  requires  suffering 
to  refine  us.  I  could  see  the  light  leaving  me,  and  when  the  Spirit 
left  me  to  pray  I  could  see  the  light  no  more.  It  had  gone. 

That  was  not  the  last  time  I  felt  the  Holy  Ghost,  but  the  only 
time  that  I  ever  saw  him.  As  I  took  my  seat  the  same  old  ache 
came  back  into  my  heart.  Still  I  did  my  duty.  I  never  failed  to 
pray  and  testify.  One  evening  as  I  was  walking  home  from  prayer 
meeting,  at  the  corner  of  Twentieth  and  Larimer  streets.  I  met 
this  gentleman.  I  believe  he  thought  I  was  at  prayer  meeting  and 
was  waiting  to  see  me.  As  we  shook  hands  he  said :  "Where 
have  you  been?"  I  told  him,  and  we  turned  and  walked  up  the 
street.  We  must  have  walked  three  blocks  before  he  spoke ;  then 
he  asked  me  if  I  realized  the  condition  of  his  heart.  I  told  him 
I  did ;  that  Sister  G —  had  told  me.  She  said  he  thought  the  world 
of  me,  and  laughingly  said :  "Sister  Peterson,  it  would  never  do  for 
you  to  be  a  widow."  I  had  known  it  for  a  month.  "What  is  the  best 
thing  to  do?"  I  asked,  after  another  silence.  I  told  him  the  best  thing, 
I  thought,  was  for  one  of  us  to  leave  the  church.  I  told  him  that 
I  was  praying  for  him,  as  well  as  for  myself.  I  said  there  was 
no  need  of  an  explanation.  He  said  he  would  not  think  it  so 
strange  if  he  had  sought  my  presence,  but  he  had  not.  "God  knows 
I  am  honest,"  he  said,  "and  this  feeling  has  crept  into  my  heart 
against  my  will."  I  told  him  that  the  Lord  had  permitted  it  to  try 


76  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

us  both.  He  was  a  noble  Christian  and  would  not,  for  the  world, 
turn  from  the  right.  He  wanted  to  know  if  I  had  said  anything  to 
anyone  about  it.  I  told  him  I  had  told  Mollie  something  must 
be  done.  I  did  not  see  him  again  to  speak  to  him,  except  in  the 
meetings,  until  the  next  week.  The  Tabernacle  had  a  picnic.  When 
we  arrived  at  Dome  Rock  a  lot  of  us  started  to  climb  the  moun- 
tains. We  and  Sister  G — 's  family  ate  dinner  together.  When  we 
were  all  on  our  way  home  Mollie  and  I  took  a  seat  together.  Then 
I  did  not  see  any  more  of  him  until  the  train  pulled  in  at  the 
depot.  He  came  and  bade  Mollie  and  me  good  by.  Mollie  turned 
to  me  and  said:  "Sister  Peterson,  did  you  see  that  look  on  his 
face?"  I  said:  "Yes;  his  face  seemed  so  sad."  The  next  day 
he  called  on  Mollie,  and  seemed  freer  to  talk  to  her  than  he  did 
to  me.  I  had  told  Mollie  to  tell  him  when  she  saw  him  what 
I  had  told  her.  It  was  best.  I  knew  I  could  trust  Mollie,  and  so 
I  told  her  to  tell  him  that  if  he  loved  me,  as  he  said,  he  would 
leave  the  church.  He  turned  pale  when  she  told  him,  and  walked 
the  floor.  "How  cruel  and  heartless,"  he  said.  "If  I  leave  the 
church  I  will  leave  the  city."  Before  the  next  Sunday  he  had  gone. 
One  evening  at  5  o'clock  Mollie  came  up  to  the  house  and  told 
me  he  was  going  away  that  evening  at  7  o'clock.  He  wanted  to 
know  if  she  and  I  would  go  •  with  him  to  the  depot.  As  we  both 
kissed  him  goodby  I  told  him  I  should  never  forget  to  pray  for  him. 
That  was  twelve  years  ago.  I  am  still  praying  that  I  may  meet  him 
in  heaven.  I  never  had  an  attachment  spring  up  in  my  heart  like 
that  for  anyone  before.  What  could  I  do  but  go  to  God  for  strength 
to  keep  me  firm  and  steadfast  in  every  difficulty  that  might  come 
in  my  way?  I  had  started  to  make  heaven  my  home  regardless  of 
opposition  at  home  or  abroad,  and  that  is  why  I  sought  for  this 
blessing  of  sanctification.  I  knew  that  I  must  have  this  power,  or 
sit  down  at  home  and  do  nothing,  and  I  had  strength  to  bear  the 
opposition  at  home  and  do  the  whole  will  of  God.  As  we  were  leav- 
ing the  depot  I  said  to  Mollie :  "Now,  Mollie,  if  I  could  get  the 
victory  over  my  home  troubles  that  I  have  over  this  experience, 
then  I  would  have  gained  victory,  indeed,  to  do  the  work  God  has 
called  me  to  do."  He  asked  me  if  I  would  write.  I  told  him  I 
thought  it  best  I  should  not.  He  wrote  several  times  to  Mollie 
to  inquire  how  I  was  geting  along.  A  few  months  later  Mollie  was 
married,  and  from  that  on  I  never  heard  from  him.  He  went  to 
Europe,  or  at  least  he  left  the  United  States. 

One  day  at  sunset,  a  long  time  after  this  experience,  I  was 
sitting  alone,  thinking  of  how  we  climbed  the  mountains  and 
picked  flowers.  As  the  last  rays  of  the  sun  were  flickering  in 
the  room  these  words  came  to  me,  and  I  got  a  pencil  and  wrote 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  77 

them  down,  and  I  thought  I  would  put  them  in  my  book:  "This 
evening  I  was  looking  back  upon  my  first  admiration  with  joy, 
mingled  with  sadness.  Too  well  do  I  remember  the  time.  It  was 
when  this  earth  was  clothed  in  green  and  the  flowers  bloomed  on 
the  mountain  side.  Time  and  nature  have  changed  many  things — 
the  flowers  have  passed  away,  the  trees  have  changed  their  green 
robe  for  one  of  gray,  the  earth  is  wrapped  in  a  shroud  of  white. 
And  still  that  truth  remains — no  ray  of  hope  or  sunshine  lights 
my  shadowed  path."  It  is  wonderful  the  complete  victory  the  Lord 
will  give  everyone  that  will  come  to  him.  In  less  than  six  weeks 
I  could  look  upon  my  troubles  and  everything  that  was  in  my  life 
with  joy  and  thank  thee,  dear  Lord,  for  all  that  had  happened.  If 
if  had  not  been  for  all  these  troubles  I  know  I  never  would  have 
gotten  the  sweet  experience  that  I  have.  Just  one  of  those  trances 
paid  me  for  all  the  suffering.  So  many  have  said  to  me:  "If 
I  could  have  the  experience  that  you  have,  I  would  be  willing  to 
suffer  too."  They  never  stop  to  think  that  the  suffering  came 
before  I  saw  anything.  For  two  weeks  I  hardly  ate  or  slept.  I 
wanted  the  Lord  to  give  me  this  complete  victory,  that  nothing 
in  this  world  would  have  any  effect  on  me.  God  knew  that  I  had 
gotten  to  that  place  where  I  did  not  care  to  live  another  week 
without  this  power.  I  did  not  go  to  man  for  help,  but  to  God, 
and  he  gave  it  to  me,  because  I  sought  it  with  all  my  heart.  As 
you  read  this  book,  some  one  may  say  or  ask:  "Why  did  she  write 
this  experience?"  I  will  tell  you  why.  I  have  met  both  men  and 
women  with  the  same  trouble.  They  were  Christians,  and  not 
knowing  how  to  trust  the  Lord  for  this  victory,  and  yet  not  being 
willing  to  go  to  anyone  for  advice — for  you  know  as  well  as  I  do 
everyone  looks  at  anything  like  this  as  wrong  and  as  a  disgrace,  and 
for  you  to  be  tempted  on  those  lines  is  an  unpardonable  sin.  You 
would  be  on  the  tongue  of  every  Christian  who  has  this  weak- 
ness. You  will  find  plenty  of  them  in  every  church,  and  those  who 
do  not  talk  are  ready  to  listen,  and  most  of  them  could  not  see 
any  good  in  that  kind  of  an  experience.  You  have  an  experience 
of  that  kind  and  see  how  many  you  could  speak  to  without  making 
evil  of  it.  And  it  would  not  stop  there.  It  would  go  to  others,  and 
they  would  make  as  much  wrong  of  that  temptation  or  trial  as 
though  you  had  indeed  been  guilty  of  yielding  to  the  temptation  in 
every  sense  of  the  word.  It  would  make  no  difference  whether 
you  are  innocent  or  not.  My  advice  to  one  going  through  expe- 
riences like  this — for  I  have  found  a  good  many,  though  the  world 
knows  nothing  about  it — do  not  go  to  a  carnal-minded  person. 
The  right  way  is  to  go  to  God.  There  on  your  knees  stay  until  God 
helps  you.  I  do  believe  that  is  why  the  Lord  has  told  us  in  his 


78  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

word  when  we  pray  to  go  into  our  closets  and  shut  the  door, 
because  it  would  not  do  to  even  leave  the  dooT  open  and  pray 
to  God  on  those  lines  of  temptation  without  someone  making  evil 
of  your  prayer.  If  any  thoughtful-minded  person  would  stop  to 
think  or  reason  together  as  God  has  told  us  to  do,  and  if  our  minds 
are  pure,  and  we  have  the  right  kind  of  feeling,  and  the  person 
whom  we  see  is  being  tempted  or  tried  on  those  lines,  that 
person  can  feel  whether  they  can  trust  you  or  not.  I  know  this  to 
be  a  fact.  Strangers  have  come  to  me  and  said :  "Mrs.  Peterson, 
there  is  something,  I  do  not  know  what  it  is,  that  leads  me  to  you, 
for  I  feel  some  way  that  I  can  trust  you."  O,  how  well  humanity 
knows !  You  cannot  deceive  it.  The  honesty  and  truth  must 
come  from  the  very  soul  and  heart  of  a  person,  and  with  that 
honesty  must  be  experience.  They  would  rather  lose  their  right 
arm  than  to  betray  the  confidence  of  anyone  who  put  their  trust 
in  them.  As  I  said,  they  come  to  me  almost  every  day  of  my 
life  and  say:  "I  do  not  know  why  I  am  inclined  to  trust  you 
as  I  do."  I  know  that  it  is  the  true  magnet  in  them  that  calls 
for  a  true  friend  in  time  of  trouble.  That  this  is  a  reality  has  been 
tested  many  times.  This  is  why  I  am  convinced  that  you  can- 
not deceive  humanity.  This  honesty  in  you  will  draw  and  attract 
strangers.  They  will  wonder  at  it,  and  yet  they  know  it  is  true. 
I  always  tell  them  it  is  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord,  and  this  magnet 
that  I  have  mentioned  is  nothing  but  the  Spirit  that  is  in  you,  and 
a  prayerful  heart  will  always  commit  its  spirit  to  the  Holy  Spirit, 
to  be  led  aright.  You  know  the  Lord  says :  "How  are  we  to 
know  man,  only  by  the  Spirit  of  man?"  To-day  we  may  meet  a 
man  filled  with  the  spirit  of  love,  and  again  we  may  meet  the 
same  man  in  a  week's  time  and  he  may  be  filled  with  the  spirit 
of  hatred,  and  if  you  have  had  any  kind  of  experience  in  life 
you  cannot  help  feeling  a  difference  in  the  influence  of  that  same 
man.  I  do  not  care  how  nice  or  polite  he  is,  you  can  feel  something 
driving  you  away  from  that  person,  be  he  man  or  woman.  It 
is  the  same  with  whomsoever  you  meet.  If  God  has  given  you  a 
great,  loving  heart,  with  no  selfishness  in  it  and  with  no  indifferent 
feeling  to  the  welfare  of  humanity,  it  makes  no  difference  whether 
in  low  or  high  standing,  and  you  will  have  an  influence  upon  him  or 
her  and  the  influence  will  help  to  elevate  that  person.  Love,  I 
care  not  whence  it  cometh,  is  helpful,  for  love  worketh  no  ill  to  its 
neighbor.  If  you  will  cultivate  a  spirit  of  love  in  yourself,  with 
a  prayerful  heart,  you  are  bound  to  be  successful  and  powerful  in 
this  dark,  cold  world  of  sin  and  selfishness;  but  to  hate  one  day 
and  to  love  another,  and  not  be  constant  and  kind  at  all  times 
when  others  are  unkind,  and  then  not  to  love  one  who  has  wronged 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  79 

you  and  not  have  love  enough  in  your  heart  to  take  that  one  and 
do  unto  him  as  God  has  done  for  you,  and  is  doing  now,  giving 
you  many  a  blessing  and  comfort  that  you  are  not  worthy  of,  though 
you  have  been  unfaithful  so  many  times  in  your  life — if  you  can- 
not live  a  life  every  day  manifesting  this  love — not  one  day  talking 
about  people  and  the  next  being  good — the  lack  of  a  steady,  faithful 
life  every  day  alike  will  make  you  weak  and  unable  to  help  others 
and  not  able  to  help  yourself.  As  I  said,  these  trials  we  have  in 
our  lives  which  we  do  not  dare  to  speak  of  to  others,  are  worse 
than  the  trials  of  Daniel  in  the  lion's  den.  The  lion's  den  is 
prepared  to-day  by  the  devil,  for  God's  children,  and  the  furnaces 
that  the  three  Hebrew  children  were  cast  into  are  prepared  to-day 
to  try  his  own  people,  for  he  will  have  nothing  but  a  tried  people. 
I  want  to  tell  you  of  some  of  the  lions'  dens  and  the  fiery  furnaces 
I  have  passed  through.  If  we  are  true  to  God  and  his  word,  there 
will  come  into  all  our  lives  something  that  will  be  as  hard  for  us 
as  it  was  for  Daniel,  and  if  we  will  trust  as  Daniel  did,  we  will 
come  out  with  as  complete  a  victory  as  he  did,  and  find  those  things 
have  been  for  our  good.  But  we  must  be  willing,  as  he  was,  to 
suffer,  and  not  murmur  or  complain.  I  do  not  believe  Daniel 
complained.  I  think  if  he  had  found  fault  it  would  have  been 
written  in  that  wonderful  book,  the  bible,  or  if  he  had  felt  mean 
or  hateful  toward  the  king  there  would  have  been  something  said 
about  it.  He  never  said  he  would  never  speak  to  that  king  again 
or  have  anything  to  do  with  him,  but  when  he  was  sorry  for  what 
he  had  done  Daniel  forgave  him  and  loved  him. 

I  got  the  victory  over  the  trouble  and  the  opposition  by  doing 
the  will  of  God.  I  overcame  my  ugly  temper  which  gave  me  so 
much  trouble.  It  will  give  anyone  trouble  who  will  let  it  remain 
in  him,  for  when  that  feeling  is  there,  there  are  other  evils  there 
also.  There  is  one  evil  besides  that  which  I  will  speak  of.  I 
did  not  know  it  was  there.  Brother  Charlie  Uzzell  told  me  the 
devil  had  a  side-track  laid  for  me  before  I  was  converted  two 
weeks.  Others  thought  the  same,  for  they  said  I  was  too  sure 
of  being  all  right.  It  was  the  first  time  I  learned  the  tricks  of 
the  devil.  It  was  there  I  became  acquainted  with  his  cunning  ways. 
I  did  not  know  at  the  time  that  it  was  the  devil  who  held  this 
one  thing  over  me — ignorance.  I  thought  it  was  my  own  common 
sense,  and  one  would  say  it  was  my  own  reason,  but  the  influence 
of  the  devil  magnified  my  ignorance,  and  with  a  lack  of  knowledge 
and  experience,  and  his  powerful  influence,  convinced  me  regard- 
less of  what  anyone  would  say,  and  when  Brother  Uzzell  told  me 
to  watch  or  the  devil  would  side-track  me,  I  answered  him  as  I 


80  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

thought  I  knew.     But  how  could  I  know,  when  I  had  not  yet  had 
any  experience.     I  will  show  you  what  I  mean  by  experience. 

There  was  a  nice  young  colored  girl  in  the  choir,  a  mulatto, 
almost  white.  She  could  sing  well.  There  were  several  lovely 
girls  in  the  choir.  They  were  good  Christians.  They  would  hold 
the  book  with  this  colored  girl  and  sing  with  her.  I  had  no  feeling 
against  the  colored  people.  No  one  could  have  a  better  feeling 
than  I  had.  I  knew  she  was  there,  for  I  shook  hands  with  her. 
All  at  once,  as  I  was  sitting  on  the  front  row  of  seats  in  the  church 
before  the  meeting  began,  the  thought  came  to  me,  "what  are 
they  doing  with  that  colored  girl  in  the  choir;  that  is  no  place 
for  her,"  not  thinking  why  I  had  not  seen  her  before,  and  not 
stopping  to  think  that  it  was  none  of  my  business.  You  know 
how  we  all  are  after  we  are  converted.  The  devil  cannot  get 
us  to  do  any  great  sin,  so  he  starts  us  out  finding  fault  or  tending 
to  some  one's  else  business.  Of  course  I  thought  I  had  to  have 
my  say.  The  old  devil  did  not  put  it  into  my  heart  to  have  her 
put  out  of  the  church  or  choir,  but  to  get  out  myself.  It  is  almost 
always  the  other  way.  The  devil  nearly  always  prompts  us  to 
get  the  one  out  that  we  do  not  like,  and  if  we  cannot  accomplish 
it,  then  he  will  put  it  into  our  hearts  to  harm  them  by  saying  some- 
thing, and  yet  pretend  to  be  a  friend  to  them.  The  psalmist  says  in 
the  LVth  chapter  and  21  st  verse:  "The  words  of  his  mouth  were 
smother  than  butter,  but  war  was  in  his  heart;  his  words  were 
softer  than  oil,  yet  were  they  drawn  swords."  Remember,  those 
are  not  my  words;  they  are  God's  words.  And  we  meet,  face 
to  face,  every  day  those  who  are  nice  to  us  and  at  the  same 
time  have  a  drawn  sword  in  their  heart  toward  us.  And  there 
I  was,  tending  to  everybody's  business  but  my  own,  doing  some- 
thing that  I  never  had  done  when  I  was  a  wordly  person.  When 
I  was  wicked,  if  I  did  not  like  anyone  I  would  just  go  about 
my  business  and  let  them  attend  to  theirs.  I  would  never  try  to 
harm  them,  by  saying  something,  because  I  did  not  like  them. 
I  always  thought  it  such  a  mean  principle.  And  then  to  think 
after  I  had  become  a  Christian  to  do  the  things  that  I  hated  the 
very  principle  of !  There  I  was  having  respect  of  persons.  James 
tells  us  in  the  2nd  chapter  and  gth  verse:  "But  if  ye  have  respect 
to  persons,  ye  commit  sin  and  are  convicted  of  the  law  as  trans- 
gressors." We  must  learn  that  these  things  cripple  us.  We  must 
watch,  as  Christians,  or  the  devil  will  come  with  wicked  thoughts 
and  we  will  speak  them  out.  These  are  the  things  that  God  meant 
when  he  said :  "The  little  foxes  kill  the  vine."  We  are  so  apt 
not  to  look  at  the  little  things,  when  it  is  the  little  things  that 
drive  away  the  Spirit  of  God.  We  are  dying  spiritually  from 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  8l 

those  things  and  do  not  know  it.  It  was  this  little  fox  that  came, 
in  this  cunning  way,  and  the  first  thing  I  did  was  to  ask  Sister 
McKensie  why  they  had  colored  people  in  the  choir.  She  said 
she  did  not  know.  The  devil  had  my  eyes  and  he  was  using 
them.  I  not  only  saw  this  girl,  but  I  said :  "There  are  all  kinds 
and  classes.  What  is  the  use  of  me  staying  in  a  poor  church 
like  this?"  I  had  always  been  good  to  the  poor.  Sister  Me —  was 
as  weak  as  I  or  she  would  have  rebuked  me;  but  she  encouraged 
me.  "Yes,"  she  said,  "I  know  a  low  class  comes  here,  and  I 
will  tell  you  what  to  do.  Come  up  to  my  church.  There  is  a 
nice  class  of  people  there,  and  you  can  do  as  much  good  there 
as  you  can  here."  Then  the  devil  was  up  to  getting  me  high- 
toned.  Do  you  see  how  he  started  me  out?  And  I  wound  up 
by  thinking  that  they  were  all  about  alike.  I  went  to  Brother 
Uzzell  and  said:  "Why  do  you  have  colored  people  here?" 
"They  have  a  right  to  come  to  church,"  he  answered.  "They  ought 
to  have  a  church  of  their  own,"  I  insisted.  Then  Brother  Uzzell 
said:  "Do  you  know  that  there  are  colored  people  in  Heaven?" 
"Oh  yes,"  I  said,  "but  they  will  leave  their  smell  here."  Think 
how  blunt  I  answered  Brother  Uzzell — finding  fault  with  nature — 
when  God  knows  I  think  as  much  of  colored  persons  as  any- 
one does.  I  could  see  that  I  hurt  Brother  Uzzell's  feelings,  but 
that  did  not  stop  me.  I  said :  "Would  you  take  the  Lord's  supper 
with  them?"  And  he  answered:  "Yes."  Then  I  said:  "You'll 
drink  the  wine  out  of  the  same  glass  with  them?"  "Yes,"  he  said. 
"I  will  not,"  I  said,  for  I  had  already  given  my  name;  "I  want 
my  letter."  He  told  one  of  the  deacons  and  his  wife  what  I  had 
said,  and  as  we  started  home  Brother  Swimburn  talked  to  me. 
When  they  came  to  their  home  they  wanted  me  to  come  in  and 
pray  about  the  step  I  was  about  to  take.  He  failed,  and  then 
his  wife  tried  to  get  me  to  come  in.  I  said:  "No,  I'll  go  on  home." 
I  told  them  I  was  all  right  and  did  not  intend  to  do  anything 
wrong.  I  had  already  done  wrong,  but  could  not  see  it.  Sister 
Spalti  and  Sister  Ross  did  not  say  anything  to  me.  They  knew 
better,  for  they  knew  it  was  of  no  use  when  I  was  determined. 
There  are  times  when  we  do  much  good  in  keeping  still.  I  was 
so  sure  I  was  right.  The  next  morning  I  had  all  my  work  done 
and  was  making  bread.  I'll  never  forget  as  long  as  I  live.  While 
kneading  the  bread  there  came  over  me  such  a  feeling  of  fear. 
I  knew  I  was  not  afraid  of  anything,  and  I  had  not  thought  it 
was  because  I  had  done  wrong,  for  I  was  sure  I  was  right;  but 
I  could  not  understand  this  fear.  I  thought  it  so  strange.  Some 
would  have  cast  this  aside  and  not  stopped  to  think  or  heed  those 
feelings.  The  thought  came  to  me  to  go  and  ask  Mrs.  Ross. 


82  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

I  dropped  my  bread  and  went  in  and  said:  "Sister  Ross,  I  have 
such  a  strange  feeling.  I  wonder  what  it  is."  I  asked  her  if  she 
could  tell  me.  I  said:  "Were  you  ever  lost  in  the  woods  and 
did  not  know  which  way  to  go?"  "Yes,"  she  answered,  "  I  have 
been."  "Isn't  it  a  dreadful  feeling?"  said  I.  She  said:  "Rachel, 
I  just  tremble  for  you."  "Why,"  I  asked.  She  said:  "I  do 
not  believe  the  Lord  wants  you  to  go  with  Sister  Me —  to  that 
high-toned  church."  "Do  you  think  that  is  why  I  have  this 
feeling?  If  I  thought  it  was  wrong  I  would  not  go."  "What  is 
that  feeling  if  it  is  not  this  that  causes  it?"  said  she.  "If  I  thought 
it  was  that,  I  would  stop,"  I  said.  The  Lord  tells  us  to  try  the 
spirits  to  see  whether  or  not  they  are  for  him,  and  I  tried  the 
spirit  the  evening  before.  I  began  to  think  that  was  what  caused 
this  feeling,  and  the  thought  came  to  me  to  go  down  to  Swim- 
burn's  and  pray.  I  said  to  the  Lord :  "I  will."  I  took  it  for 
granted  that  this  was  from  the  Lord.  I  went  into  the  house 
and  got  a  shawl  and  threw  it  over  my  head,  for  it  was  three  blocks 
away,  and  told  them  that  I  was  ready  to  pray,  telling  them  of 
the  feeling  that  I  had.  If  we  will  only  hearken  to  the  Spirit  he 
will  soon  show  us  when  we  are  wrong.  By  listening  to  those 
simple  thoughts  and  feelings  I  was  helped  to  see  my  sin.  I  sup- 
pose if  I  had  stopped  a  second  the  devil  would  have  shown  me 
how  I  had  talked  to  Brother  Uzzell,  and  that  would  have  made 
me  ashamed  to  go  to  him  and  make  it  all  right;  but  I  was  led 
by  the  Spirit,  not  by  sight,  as  I  had  been  the  evening  before.  If 
we  will  hearken  to  the  Spirit  he  will  lead  us  step  by  step,  a 
thought  at  a  time,  so  I  said :  "I  will  go  and  do,  my  duty,  and  see 
if  these  feelings  will  leave  me." 

We  had  prayer.  I  told  them  what  Sister  Ross  said,  and  told 
them  I  would  tell  Brother  Uzzell  at  church  that  evening.  After 
we  had  prayer  I  felt  so  good !  The  fear  all  left  me,  and  I  was 
happy  all  that  day.  Then  I  knew  I  had  done  wliat  was  right.  I 
waited  to  see  if  I  felt  that  feeling,  but  it  never  returned,  for  I 
had  fully  made  up  my  mind  if  that  feeling  was  wrong  I  would 
make  it  right.  I  did  not  get  a  chance  to  tell  Brother  Uzzell. 
Brother  Swimburn  got  into  his  buggy  and  drove  over  to  the  North 
Side  and  told  Brother  Uzzell  what  I  had  done,  and  as  I  sat  there 
in  the  meeting  I  said,  "I  will  make  it  all  right  with  Brother  Uzzell 
after  church,"  not  knowing  that  Brother  Swinburn  had  told  him. 
It  was  not  a  testimony  meeting.  Brother  Uzzell  was  to  preach, 
and  yet  he  called  on  me  and  asked  me  how  I  was  feeling.  Then 
I  knew  someone  had  told  him.  I  stood  up  and  told  the  audience 
how  I  felt  and  what  I  had  said,  and  now  what  I  was  willing  to 
do.  Before  I  got  through  I  felt  like  I  was  converted  over  again, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  83 

and  the  fire  spread  through  the  audience.  I  almost  did  the  preach- 
ing that  night,  and  that  one  experience  settled  me  for  good 
on  that  line.  I  have  known  ever  since  when  the  devil  comes  to 
me.  I  can  tell  by  my  feelings  and  thoughts.  I  have  been  able  to 
discern  the  good  or  evil  spirits  ever  since.  It  is  the  first  side-track 
the  devil  ever  got  me  on.  He  has  turned  the  switch  a  good  many 
times  when  I  have  been  going  at  full  speed,  but  God  has  given 
me  strength  to  open  the  throttle  and  speed  right  on.  Other  times 
I  have  had  to  stand  still  and  see  the  salvation  of  God,  and  some- 
times on  my  knees  with  the  engine  of  God's  power  and  love  per- 
fectly still,  but  thank  God  I  could  always  see  the  smoke  or  light 
and  knew  the  fire  was  still  burning  in  my  heart.  The  devil  'never 
built  a  side-track  but  what  he  built  it  into  the  main  line,  so  that  if 
you  do  get  off  the  main  line  there  is  a  way  provided  for  you  to 
get  back.  I  have  known  people  to  get  side-tracked  when  Christians 
would  run  ahead  and  try  to  keep  them  on  the  side-track,  or 
make  them  a  great  deal  of  trouble  in  geting  back.  I  have  learned 
if  we  live  carefully  we  can  always  do  good,  either  spiritually  or 
mentally.  Our  influence  should  be  a  benediction  to  all  we  meet, 
and  I  mean  by  that  something  that  is  lasting,  something  that  will 
not  take  wings  and  fly  away  in  time  of  sorrow  or  sickness,  or 
even  death,  but  something  that  is  helpful,  that  will  even  go  beyond 
the  grave  out  into  eternity.  There  -are  a  thousand  ways  in  which 
we  can  help  one  another.  A  cheerful  look,  a  kind  word,  a  smile, 
a  loving  spirit,  so  that  even  a  stranger  will  be  led  to  unburden 
his  heart  to  you,  and  will  feel  that  you  have  done  him  good. 
No  one  can  live  a  life  such  as  I  speak  of  without  going  to  God, 
and  •  there  giving  himself  and  all  he  has  that  he  may  be  a  par- 
taker of  the  divine  nature  that  will  enable  him  to  live  for  God 
and  others  in  that  true  sense  that  is  pleasing  to  God. 

God  tried  me  before  he  took  away  the  old  Adam  nature,  and 
then  he  tried  me  after  he  took  it  away,  and  thank  God  I  got  the 
victory,  and  felt  that  I  had  the  strength  of  Samson,  felt  that  I 
could  in  the  name  of  Jesus  conquer  every  foe.  After  I  had  gotten 
this  complete  victory  it  was  lasting.  This  was  two  weeks  from 
the  Monday  I  had  the  trance  that  I  last  spoke  of.  It  was  on 
Monday  afternoon  at  4  o'clock.  It  was  the  first  trance  I  had 
ever  had  with  anyone  in  the  room.  Mollie  was  with  me.  She 
had  come  up  to  spend  the  day.  I  had  been  washing  and  had 
finished  my  work.  Feeling  a  little  tired,  I  said  to  Mollie,  "come  into 
the  bedroom  and  I  will  lie  •  down  and  rest,"  not  thinking  for  a 
moment  that  there  was  anything  coming  to  me.  Mollie  sat  down 
on  the  carpet  by  the  window.  We  had  not  talked  long  till  I  felt 
a  strange  feeling  come  over  me,  such  as  I  had  in  the  trances,  but 


84  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

I  did  not  drift  away  as  I  did  before.  I  felt  more  like  I  had  touched 
an  electric  battery,  but  I  knew  it  was  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord  upon 
me,  and  as  I  started  to  sit  up  I  remarked :  "Mollie,  I  feel  so  strange." 
I  only  got  onto  my  elbow  when  this  question  was  asked  me :  "What 
is  the  wisdom  of  God,  and  how  does  it  visit  the  children  of  God?" 
The  answer  came  like  this :  "It  visits  me  like  a  fleeting  sunbeam 
passing  through  my  mind,  and  if  I  fail  to  grasp  the  golden 
thought,  then  empty-handed  I  must  go."  Then  I  could  realize  it 
was  Satan,  the  evil  one,  who  asked  me  this  question.  He  said : 
"Ah,  how  can  you  grasp  these  golden  thoughts  when  sadness  fills 
your  heart  and  shadows  o'er  your  pathway  fly?"  and  the  answer 
came  back  so  plain :  "As  you  trust  God  the  pathway  grows  bright, 
the  shadows  flee  and  you  are  passing  on  to  the  world  of  bliss." 

I  sat  up  in  bed,  and  as  I  did  so,  Mollie  said :  "Rachel,  your 
face  does  not  look  natural."  Then  I  told  her  what  I  had  heard. 
Thousands  of  beautiful  thoughts  come  to  God's  people,  and  how 
true  it  is  if  we  do  not  recognize  and  grasp  those  thoughts 
as  the  Holy  Spirit  brings  them  to  us  they  are  indeed  like  fleeting 
sunbeams,  and  that  is  why  so  many  of  us  are  void  of  tfie  knowledge 
of  God,  and  so  empty  of  the  truth.  When  temptation  comes  they 
are  not  versed  in  the  scriptures  enough  to  quote  the  words  they 
should  to  the  evil  one.  At  this  time  there  was  nothing  bothering 
me,  except  the  lady  who  had  the  rooms  upstairs  was  going  away, 
and  I  wondered  who  I  would  get  to  take  care  of  my  little  girl 
while  I  did  my  mission  work.  I  was  gone  almost  every  evening 
somewhere  when  my  child  was  well  enough  for  me  to  go.  I 
could  not  go  through  the  day,  for  Mr.  Peterson  was  home  during 
the  day  and  did  not  want  me  to  go  out  when  he  was  at  home. 
I  did  not  let  him  know  I  went  out  as  much  as  I  did.  If  I  had  there 
would  have  been  trouble,  and  I  tried  to  avoid  all  the  trouble  I  could. 
I  knew  I  was  doing  my  duty  as  a  mother  and  housekeeper  and 
wife,  and  outside  of  that  I  gave  my  time  to  the  Lord.  Though 
it  might  have  cost  me  my  life,  I  would  have  paid  the  price  of  my 
vow  to  the  Lord.  I  did  not  care  how  much  I  suffered  so  long 
as  the  Lord  blessed  my  labors.  I  did  not  like  to  bother  my  neigh- 
bors to  care  for  my  child,  so  I  prayed  the  Lord  to  send  someone. 
The  rooms  were  not  empty  a  week  when  one  Saturday  evening, 
about  8  o'clock,  there  was  a  rap  at  the  door,  and  a  lady  I  had  known 
for  seven  years  came  in.  We  had  rented  of  her  mother  when 
the  latter  was  living.  I  said :  "'Lizzie,  what  are  you  doing  out 
this  kind  of  weather,  with  your  little  girl?"  It  was  a  bitter 
cold  night.  The  wind  was  blowing  and  the  snow  drifting 
dreadfully.  She  asked  me  if  she  could  stay  all  night.  While  she 
was  taking  off  her  wraps  she  told  me  her  story;  that  she  was  left 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  85 

alone  in  the  world  to  support  her  little  girl  and  herself;  that  her 
husband ^had  left  her  homeless  and  penniless.  I  knew  she  did  not 
realize  the  responsibility  that  was  resting  upon  her.  She  was  young, 
and  had  done  nothing  but  go  to  school.  She  said  she  was  willing 
to  work,  but  did  not  know  what  she  could  do  to  support  her 
child  and  herself.  I  told  her  that  I  would  be  a  friend  to  her, 
and  help  her  what  I  could.  I  knew  Mr.  Peterson  would,  as  he 
had  known  her  so  long.  She  got  a  position  in  a  laundry,  and' 
would  take  care  of  my  little  girl  evenings  and  I  would  care  for 
hers  through  the  day.  I  was  willing  to  do  this,  that  the  way  might 
be  opened  for  me  to  do  my  mission  work.  It  was  not  long  till 
the  little  thing  would  call  me  mama — I  dressed  the  two  little  girls 
alike.  They  were  both  light  complexioned,  and  so  near  the  same 
age  that  strangers  thought  they  were  twins.  I  did  all  the  washing. 
There  were  five  of  us  in  the  family.  She  made  enough  to  pay 
her  own  expenses,  and  I  cared  for  her  child,  charging  her  noth- 
ing for  the  work  I  did ;  then  she  would  look  after  them  in  the 
evening.  In  this  way  I  was  able  to' pay  my  vow  to  God. 

That  summer  we  started  a  Friday  night  prayer  meeting.  As 
I  had  led  the  young  converts'  prayer  meeting  I  thought  sure,  with 
the  Lord's  help,  I  could  venture  to  take  charge  of  the  Friday  night 
meeting.  I  was  a  little  fearful,  for  I  had  not  yet  gotten  over  making 
blunders  in  leading  meetings.  One  evening,  after  we  started  our 
Friday  night  meetings,  the  room  was  filled  with  people.  I  seemed 
to  be  bothered,  and  could  not  get  the  meeting  started  with  the 
life  I  thought  it  ought  to  have.  To  get  courage  I  began  telling 
them  how  we  served  the  Lord  in  the  early  days  in  Kansas.  I 
told  them  that  the  school  house,  where  we  held  meeting,  was  a 
log  house  with  dirt  roof,  and  chinked  with  mud  and  pieces  of 
limbs.  I  started  to  tell  of  one  evening,  when  the  meeting  was 
about  half  over,  when  there  came  up  a  hard  rain  and  one  corner 
of  the  dirt  roof  caved  in.  The  people  crowded  into  one-half  of 
the  room.  There  were  holes  on  the  side  where  the  chinking  had 
fallen  out.  I  called  attention  to  the  difference  between  our  com- 
fortable surroundings  now,  and  what  the  people  contended  with 
then,  and  how  grateful  we  should  be.  By  this  time  we  had  gotten 
into  a  good  spirit,  and  nothing  seemed  to  be  bothering  me.  I  went 
on  to  speak  of  the  hole  in  the  roof,  which  was  so  large  one  could 
take  a  dog  by  the  tail  and  throw  it  through.  Instead  of  saying 
the  dog,  I  got  the  hole  by  the  tail  and  threw  it  through  the  dog*. 
When  I  made  this  mistake  the  audience  laughed  heartily;  and^after 
thev  did  stop  laughing  someone  would  snicker  in  the  audience, 
and  then  they  would  break  out  afresh.  While  my  face  was  burning 
I  was  saying  to  myself:  "Let  me  get  out  of  this,  and  I  would  like 


00  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

to  see  the  one  who  will  get  me  into  such  a  fix  again."  I  said 
to  myself:  "I  might  know  better  than  to  try  to  lead  a  meeting  like 
this."  Some  of  the  members  told  Brother  Charlie  Uzzell  about 
my  blunder,  and  how  badly  I  felt,  and  he  told  me  I  must  not  stop 
at  a  little  thing  like  that.  He  said  he  made  mistakes,  and  the  best 
of  us  did.  H'e  said  he  would  not  listen  to  my  giving  up  the  meet- 
ings ;  I  must  go  ahead.  So  I  trusted  God  and  was  at  the  post 
of  duty  the  next  prayer  meeting  night.  The  room  was  full,  not  an 
empty  chair,  and  the  Lord  wonderfully  blessed  us.  There  were 
from  three  to  five  conversions  almost  every  Friday  night.  I  would 
always  do  my  work  at  home  on  Thursday  and  give  Friday  to 
prayer  and  studying  of  the  bible.  I  would  be  in  the  Spirit  all  day, 
and  when  night  came  I  was  ready  for  the  meeting.  When  first 

1  started  out  to  lead  prayer  meetings  I  would  go  through  with  my 
work  while  the  little  girls  were  out  in   the  yard  playing.     Some- 
times the  mother  of  the  little  girl  would  be  at  home,  and  when  she 
saw  me  geting  ready  to  go  upstairs,  if  anyone  came  she  would  tell 
them    I    was    upstairs   preaching   to    the    chairs.      There    was    only 
one  book  I  used  besides  the  bible,  this  book  had   pictures  of  the 
rainbow   and   a   railroad,   and   an   engine   on   the   road   and   a   man 
with    a    lantern ;    then    other    pictures    explaining    the   bible   and    a 
spider's  web,  showing  the  net  of  the  devil.     I  would  take  this  book, 
and  by  the  pictures   I   would  get  a   subject   in    my  mind;    then   I 
found  the  bible  verses  to  compare  with  it.     This  is  the  way  I  began 
to  lead  meetings  and  to  preach.     This  book,  and  the  prayer  book 
I   tried  to  learn   to   pray   out  of,   and  two   others,   constituted    my 
library  for  fifteen  years.   In  all  those  years  I  had  not   read  more 
than  fifty  columns  from  the  newspapers  all  together.    A  few  months 
after  this  I  was  led  to  ask  some  of  the  most  spiritual   ones  how 
they  would  like  to  join  a  kind  of  workers'  band.     We  would  take 
up  the  jail  work  and  county  hospital.     Fifteen   of  us  united  our- 
selves in  the  work,  and  everyone  of  those  were  young  converts,  most 
of  them  converted   at  the  Friday  night  meetings.     Many  of  them 
learned   how   to   lead   prayer   meetings   at   the    jails    and   hospitals, 
and  became  such  workers  that  they  could  pray  at  the  bedside  of 
the   sick   or   dying.     This   work   went   on    for   several   years.      We 
all   wore  badges  of  blue  ribbon   headed  with  a  silver  pin,  and  on 
the   badges    we    had    printed    these    words :      "In    God    We    Trust. 
Workers'  Band   of   the   People's   Tabernacle."     On    the    secretary's 
pin  was  engraved  "Secretary."     On  my  pin  was  engraved  "Leader." 
We   always    had    a   meeting   after    the    prayer   meeting,    where    we 
would  report  each  week.    Once  a  year  we  would  give  our  report  to 
the  church.     There  are  both  men  and  women  leading  meetings  to- 
day who  started  to  lead  the  first  meeting  in   the  Workers'   Band. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS  .  IN      THE      ROUGH  87 

You  can  see  how  I  started  out  in  this  grand  and  glorious  work  for 
the  Lord.  Sister  L —  and  her  little  girl  stayed  with  us  nearly  two 
years. 

CHAPTER     IX. 

SHE  had  not  worked  long  when  an  accident  occurred.  Her  hand 
was  caught  in  the  mangle .  as  she  was  running  the  clothes 
through  and  crushed.  She  was  brought  home  and  the  sur- 
geon was  called.  We  tried  to  save  her  hand,  but  it  was  in 
vain.  It  swelled  up  as  large  as  three  hands.  One  afternoon,  about 
3  o'clock,  a  blood  vessel  burst  in  her  hand,  and  we  thought  she 
would  bleed  to  death  before  the  surgeon  could  arrive.  On  exam- 
ining her  hand  he  stated  that  two  blood  vessels  had  burst  and 
that  he  would  have  to  call  another  surgeon.  She  was  bleeding 
so  I  asked  the  doctor  if  I  could  not  assist  him.  He  said  he  was 
afraid  not,  but  I  could  try.  He  went  to  work.  He  probed  for 
the  blood  vessel  with  a  fine  steel  instrument.  He  pulled  the 
vein  out  and  asked  me  to  hold  the  hook  perfectly  steady.  I  told 
him  I  could  do  anything  in  order  to  relieve  her.  I  never  saw  one 
suffer  as  she  did.  She  had  lost  too  much  blood  to  take  anything 
to  relieve  the  pain.  I  held  the  probe.  I  knew  what  it  meant  if 
the  vein  slipped-  off  the  hook,  and  with  my  mouth  and  other  hand 
I  twisted  silk  thread  while  he  tied  each  end  of  the  vein.  After 
the  work  was  done  and  she  was  resting,  I  g-ot  water  for  the 
doctor  to  wash  his  han^ds.  He  stood  looking  at  me  and  smiled 
and  said :  "Mrs.  Peterson,  you  would  make  a  good  surgeon."  He 
had  to  acknowledge  I  had  more  pluck  than  he  had.  My  nerves 
were  steadier  than  his.  I  knew  there  was  no  time  to  send  for 
another  doctor,  and  all  I  did  was  to  do  my  best. 

It  was  not  long  after  this  that  my  niece  was  burned  by  the 
explosion  of  a  gasoline  stove.  Night  and  day  for  several  weeks 
I  stood  over  her.  Time  and  time  again  have  I  been  called  to 
the  hospital  to  stand  by  the  son  of  some  mother  who  ^  did  not 
want  to  leave  her  boy  alone  with  strange  doctors,  or  with  some 
wife  or  husband,  till  I  think  if  that  had  been  my  calling  I  would 
have  been  ready  to  start  out  as  a  nurse.  It  was  only  a  few  days  after 
this  when  the  doctor  said  her  hand  must  be  taken  off.  Two  surgeons 
came,  and  in  my  bedroom  her  hand  was  amputated.  I  cared 
for  her  till  she  was  strong  enough  to  get  up.  We  can  never  forget 
the  first  morning  she  tried  to  dress.  I  said:  "Now,  Sister^  L— , 
get  up  and  get  ready  for  breakfast."  I  sent  Mr.  Peterson  m  t( 
see  if  she  was  ready.  She  was  partly  dressed,  sitting  on  the  bed 
crying.  He  came  into  the  kitchen  and  told  me  to  go  in. 


88  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

"Now,  my  child,  this  will  never  do."  I  helped  her  to  finish  dressing, 
and  when  she  would  try  to  do  anything  she  would  try  to  use 
the  poor  stub  as  though  the  hand  were  there  yet.  She  laid 
her  head  on  my  shoulder  and  wept  like  a  child.  I  sat 
down  on  the  bed  and  took  her  on  my  lap  and  there  we 
wept  together,  and  she  cried:  "Oh,  Rachel,  what  shall  I 
do."  She  said  it  seemed  more  than  she  could  do  when  she 
had  both  hands  to  care  for  herself  and  child.  "Now  look  at  me," 
she  sobbed,  as  her  little  girl  stood  there  shedding  tears  with  her 
mother.  "Sister  L — ,  never  mind,"  I  said,  "let  us  trust  the  Lord 
for  everything.  I  will  never  see  you  want."  -  We  went  out  to 
breakfast.  She  stayed  with  me  several  months  after  that,  when 
her  brother,  John,  came  from  California.  He  was  just  able  to  be 
around,  for  he  had  consumption  and  was  not  long  for  this  world. 
He  wanted  to  know  if  he  could  stay  a  few  days.  He  had  a  little 
money,  and  Sister  L —  had  something  left  from  her  mother's 
estate.  They  occupied  the  two  rooms  upstairs.  I  did  their  wash- 
ing, and  by  such  economies  their  little  money  lasted  until  spring. 
Her  brother  was  confined  to  the  bed  most  all  the  time.  With  this 
care  and  my  home  and  the  church  work  I  had  more  than  I  could 
do.  I  knew  I  never  could  carry  the  burden,  so  on  Monday  after- 
noon at  4  o'clock  I  went  to  the  meeting  of  the  associated  charities 
and-  reported  my  case.  Father  McDevit,  a  Catholic  priest,  was 
chairman  of  the  committee.  Brother  Uzzell  introduced  me  to  him 
as  one  of  his  workers.  After.  I  had  told  my  story  Father  McDevit 
addressed  the  meeting  and  said  assistance  must  be  rendered.  "If 
we  had  citizens  like  this,"  he  said,  "we  would  need  no  hospitals." 
He  then  asked  me  what  I  wanted  done.  I  told  him  I  wanted  the 
brother  taken  to  St.  Joseph's  hospital,  and  Sister  L —  and  her 
child  to  have  a  room  rented  for  them  and  food  and  fuel  provided. 
Father  McDevit  telephoned  to  the  hospital,  and  they  told  him 
the  beds  were  all  filled.  He  told  them  they  must  have  a  bed  pre- 
pared by  the  next  day,  so  I  returned  home  and  stated  what  I 
had  done.  They  were  so  happy  to  think  they  would  cease  to  be  a 
burden  to  me.  The  next  day  I  went  and  asked  a  lady  if  I  could 
have  her  carriage  to  take  this  brother  to  the  hospital,  and  in  two 
days  I  had  them  all  nicely  provided  for.  I  only  missed  one  visit 
in  the  whole  year  that  Brother  John  lay  sick  in  the  hospital.  I 
went  once  a  week — till  he  died,  and  the  time  I  missed  I  was  sick  with 
the  quinsy.  I  took  him  little  things  to  eat  and  did  his  washing 
the  year  he  was  there.  In  the  summer  I  wiuld  take  him  flowers, 
Every  Wednesday  he  would  look  for  me  to  bring  his  flowers  or 
some  dainties.  They  sent  me  word  the  morning  that  he  died. 
When  I  went  to  the  hospital  the  Sister  Superior  asked  me  if  I 


MAKING   HER    W AY    TO    THE   BED-CHAMBER    AT   THE 
MID-NIGHT  HOUR 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  89 

were  his  wife.  I  told  her  that  I  was  not  Then  she  said:  "Only 
a  sister."  I  said  no,  I  was  not  a  sister.  "Are  you  his  sweetheart?' 
she  asked,  and  I  said:  "No,  sister,  I  am  nothing  more  to  him 
than  you  are."  Then  I  told  her  all  about  -how  I  came  to  know 
him,  and  she  told  me  she  had  lived  for  years  in  a  hospital,  and 
that  this  was  the  first  time  she  had  ever  seen  a  stranger  take  such 
an  interest  in  anyone.  That  was  why  she  thought  I  was  something 
to  him.  He  always  called  me  sister  to  the  boys  in  his  ward.  He 
would  say:  "Here  comes  my  sister."  I  never  went  that  I  did 
not  kiss  him  as  I  would  my  own  brother,  and  gave  him  flowers 
and  some  little  dainty  to  eat.,  .There  were  eight  or  ten  cots  in  this 
ward.  I  would  bring  him  clean  clothes  and  take  his  soiled  ones 
back  with  me.  I  always  prayed  with  him  before  I  left,  till  he 
got  so  deaf  he  could  not  hear,  then  I  would  write  to  him.  My 
heart  ached  for  the  poor  boys.  How  wistful  they  looked !  And  they 
would  say  to  John :  "There  are  not  many  sisters  as  faithful  as 
yours."  He  would  smile  and  say,  "I  know  it,  boys,"  and  tell 
them  there  was  not  another  sister  in  the  world  like  his.  He  would 
tell  everyone  that  came  into  the  ward  how  I  had  cured  him  that 
winter  of  catarrh.  One  evening,  about  two  months  before  he  went 
to  the  hospital,  it  came  to  me  to  rub  his  head.  I  did  so,  and 
cured  him  of  catarrh,  from  which  he  had  suffered  more  than  he 
did  from  his  lungs.  He  was  so  grateful  that  he  could  not  help 
telling  it  to  everyone*  who  came  in. 

This  was  a  busy  year,  but.  I  did  not  forget  Sister  L — .  She  came 
every  little  while  to  see  me.  I  knew  she  was  all  right,  and  before 
I  knew  it  a  month  had  gone  by  and  I  had  not  seen  her.  Think- 
ing something  was  wrong,  I  went  to  see  her.  As  I  stepped  into 
the  room  I  could  see  that  I  was  not  mistaken.  She  had  already 
taken  a  misstep,  and  the  chanty  organization  had  learned  of  it  in 
some  way,  and  would  do  nothing^  for  her.  I  knew  something  more 
than  I  could  do  must  be  done,  so  one  morning  I  went  to  the  court 
house  to  see  the  county  commissioners.  I  went  to  the  secretary, 
and  she  turned  to  the  large  book  where  they  kept  account  of  every- 
thing that  had  been  done.  As  she  was  turning  the  leaves  of  the 
book  she  said:  "No,  we  will  not  do  any  more  for  that  woman." 
I  had  already  been  to  the  ladies'  relief,  and  they  refused  me. 
The  secretary  pointed  to  a  name  in  the  book,  and  sajd:  "Here 
is  a  lady  by  the  name  of  Mrs.  Peterson.  She  says  she  has 
refused  to  do  for  this  woman,  and  she  has  done  more  than  all 
of  us  put  together."  I  said:  "I  am  the  woman."  "What,"  she 
said,  "are  you  Mrs.  Peterson?"  "Yes,"  I  said,  "and  I  would  feed 
a  poor  yellow  dog  in  the  alley  that  was  hungry,  to  say  nothing  of 
a  human  being."  Then  I  asked  her  if  she  had  heard  of  the  "Friendly 


QO  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

Shelter"  on  Blake  street.  She  said  she  had,  that  it  was  kind  in 
Brother  Uzzell  to  provide  a  shelter  like  that.  I  asked  her  if  she 
had  seen  the  mass  of  men  that  gathered  there  every  night.  She 
said  she  had  not,  but  that  the  whole  city  was  in  sympathy  with 
the  work.  I  said :  "Do  you  know  there  are  men  there  as  low 
as  that  woman  dare  be?  This  is  the  first  wrong  step  this  woman 
has  taken ;  and  I  venture  to  say  that  among  those  four  hundred  men 
years  of  dissipation  and  sin  of  all  kinds  would  tell  the  story  of 
their  lives."  I  also  told  her  how  you  could  smell  liquor  upon 
their  breath ;  that  they  would  get  money  some  way  for  drink  and 
tobacco,  and  then  lie  on  the  floor,t  like  a  lot  of  hogs,  without  a 
6ed,  or  anything  to  eat.  "Compare  this  woman,"  I  said,  "with 
those  men,  will  you?"  I  told  her  I  would  not  be  afraid  to  vouch 
that  most  of  those  men,  no  matter  how  low  they  had  been,  if 
they  could  dress  up,  would  be  recognized  as  respectable,  and  their 
past  would  not  be  questioned.  I  ask/sd  her  to  tell  me  why  this 
difference  was  made  between  man  and  woman.  I  told  her  I  did  not 
consider  her  a  fallen  woman,  and  that  I  thought  they  had  a  right 
to  grant  my  request,  as  I  was  a  citizen  of  Denver  and  a  tax- 
payer. By  this  time  I  was  in  dead  earnest,  and  I  told  her  this 
woman  should  not  want  as  long  as  I  had  a  crust  of  bread.  An 
old  gentleman,  who  had  been  sitting  back  in  the  roam,  rose  from 
his  seat  and  came  toward  us,  laughing,  and  said :  "Mrs.  Peter- 
son, that  talk  is  worth  as  nice  a  bill  of  groceries  as  ever  went 
out  of  this  court  house,  and  you  .shall  have  anything  you  ask 
for."  He  was  one  of  the  county  commissioners.  I  told  him  I 
would  take  him  at  his  word,  and  that  I  wanted  $10  to  buy  her  a 
tent,  so  I  would  not  have  to  beg  rent  money  for  her.  He  told  me 
to  call  the  next  morning  and  he  would  see  what  could  be  done. 
I  gave  them  her  number,  and  they  sent  her  a  nice  lot  of  groceries. 
I  was  at  the  court  house  at  10  o'clock  the  next  morning.  They 
gave  me  the  $10,  and  I  bought  her  a  tent  and  proceeded  to  Hallack's 
lumber  yard  to  beg  lumber  for  floor  and  siding.  I  then  asked  a 
carpenter  to  fix  her  tent.  She  was  comfortable  there.  It  was  not 
long  till  she  was  to  become  a  mother.  I  went  to  the  maternity 
home  and  stated  my  case  to  the  matron,  where  we  took  her, 
and  where  she  gave  birth  to  twins,  one  dying  at  birth.  Before 
she  was  able  to  leave  the  home  the  other  one  died.  Oh,  how  T 
prayed  the  dear  Lord  would  take  them  home !  The  neighbors 
looked  after  her  tent  while  she  was  at  the  home,  and  when  she 
became  well  and  strong  I  fixed  her  up  with  some  books  and  she 
started  out  as  a  book  agent.  I  saw  it  was  so  hard  for  her  to 
make  a  living,  T  started  praying  the  Lord  to  send  her  a  husband 
who  would  love  her  and  care  for  her  little  girl.  The  Lord  answered 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  QI 

my  prayer,  and  to-day,  while  writing  my  book,  she  is  living  in 
California  and  doing  well.  I  am  mentioning  a  few  of  my  expe- 
riences that  the  reader  may  have  some  idea  of  the  kind  of  work 
I  find  to  do,  that  it  may  help  others.  I  will  mention  another  fam- 
ily I  was  interested  in  shortly  after  Sister  L—  was  married.  One 
of  the  girls  attending  the  Tabernacle,  and  asked  me  to  come  and 
see  them.  I  was.  also  interested  in  a  fallen  woman  at  the  same 
time,  and  when  I  went  to  see  this  family  I  would  stop  and  see 
her.  The  father  of  these  two  girls  drank.  These  girls  were 
married  and  lived  at  home  with  their  father  and  mother.  The 
mother  was  in  the  habit  of  taking  morphine  and  drank  a  little. 
The  husband  of  the  oldest  girl  also  drank,  and  the  husband  of 
the  younger  gambled.  It  was  a  pretty  gay  family.  I  could  see  only 
one  in  the  family  that  would  be  a  Christian — the  oldest  girl.  Her 
health  was  not  good,  and  as  I  had  hopes  of  her  becoming  a 
Christian,  one  evening  I  went  to  call  on  the  family.  The  old  gen- 
tleman was  at  home,  under  the  influence  of  drink,  and  the  old 
lady  and  the  two  girls  were  afraid  he  would  say  something  insulting 
to  me.  They  told  me,  as  they  went  to  the  gate  with  me,  it  was 
the  first  time  he  ever  treated  a  Christian  properly  when  he  was 
drinking.  I  talked  to  him  about  his  soul,  and  we  had  prayer, 
and  he  knelt  down  when  we  prayed.  I  had  not  visited  the  family 
long  when  the  baby  of  the  oldest  daughter  died.  I  baptized  the 
little  thing  and  conducted  the  services.  The  oldest  daughter  was 
converted.  I  was  called  to  the  home  one  evening,  ten  days  after 
the  death  of  the  baby,  when  the  youngest  daughter's  husband  was 
found  to  be  dying.  He  had  taken  his' mother-in-law's  morphine, 
and  the  doctors  could  not  save  him.  We  had  a  dreadful  time  that 
night.  The  wife  of  the  dying  man  was  hysterical  and  the  old  man 
was  in  spasms,  it  taking  two  men  to  hold  him.  He  always  went  into 
a  spasm  when  excited  from  drink.  The  old  lady  hardly  knew  what 
she  was  doing  from  the  effects  of  morphine.  The  only  one  in  her 
right  mind  was  the  oldest  girl.  Even  her  husband  was  under  the 
influence  of  drink  most  of  the  time.  I  never  saw  a  family  like 
this  one  before.  A  few  weeks  later  the  husband  of  the  oldest 
daughter  got  his  mother-in-law's  morphine  bottle  and  went  the 
same  way  as  had  his  brother-in-law.  That  night  was  one  long  to 
be  remembered.  A  great  crowd  of  people  had  gathered  there, 
and  the  rumor  was  started  that  someone  had  poisoned  him. 
old  man  was  crazy  with  drink,  while  the  old  lady  was  beside 
herself  from  the  drug.  The  younger  girl  had  hysterics  again 
because  of  the  rumor  that  some  of  the  family  had  poisoned  ^ 
brother-in-law.  After  he  died,  the  great  mass  of  people  that  1 
gathered  in  the  street  gradually  lessened,  and  by  midnight  every- 


92  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

thing  was  quiet.  They  took  the  dead  man  to  the  undertaker's, 
while  the  old  man  lay  in  a  drunken  sleep  and  the  old  lady  sat  in 
a  stupor.  The  younger  daughter  finally  quieted  down,  and  quietude 
settled  over  the  home  with  a  death-like  stillness.  I  put  on  my 
wraps,  saying  to  myself:  "Lord,  deliver  me  from  many  such 
experiences  as  this."  For  three  hours  I  had  run  from  one  to  the 
other,  thinking  every  moment  that  the  police  would  arrest  the 
whole  house.  I  bade  them  good  night  and  hurried  down  the  walk 
to  the  gate.  As  the  night  was  dark  and  still,  and  but  few  were  upon 
the  street,  I  looked  up  and  down,  mentally  asking  the  Lord  to  pro- 
tect me.  It  was  in  what  is  called  the  slums  of  the  city,  and  as  T 
drew  my  wraps  around  me,  the  air  being  keen  and  cold,  I  thought 
to  myself:  "Oh,  God!  Is  hell  any  worse  than  this  home?"  I 
thought  it  would  be  all  the  hell  anyone  could  bear  who  was  not  ac- 
customed to  such  a  life  to  have  to  spend  eternity  with  a  class  of 
people  who  drank  and  used  morphine,  "murderers  and  those  that 
love  and  make  a  lie."  Oh,  what  a  place  hell  must  be !  God 
tells  us  there  shall  be  wailing  and  gnashing  of  teeth  (Rev.  22:15), 
and  on  the  other  hand  he  says,  in  Rev.  22:14:  "Blessed  are  they 
which  do  his  commandments,  that  they  may  have  right  to  the 
tree  of  life,  and  may  enter  in  through  the  gates  into  the  city."  If 
we  do  not  do  his  will  here,  does  not  our  own  reason  tell  us  that 
we  do  not  deserve  a  right  to  the  tree  of  life?  And  if  we  do  not 
love  him  here,  how  can  we  love  him  beyond  the  grave?  The  grave 
does  not  make  a  change  in  us,  for  there  is  no  virtue  in  the  grave. 
The  change  must  come  on  this  side.  Otherwise  we  must  live  with 
just  such  people  as  I  have  been  telling  you  about.  Oh,  that  we  may 
'not  put  it  off  until  too  late!  I  have  stood  by  the  bedside  and 
seen  with  mine  own  eyes  people  who  have  put  it  off  day  by  day, 
and  their  last  words  were:  "Too  late,  too  late." 

After  all  the  trouble  in  this  family  I  have  enumerated,  I  visited 
the  home,  hoping  that  this  girl  might  be  rescued  from  the  baneful 
influences  and  become  a  Christian.  I  was  fearful  what  would  be- 
come of  her,  with  her  poor  health,  for  she  was  not  able  to  work. 
Again  I  earnestly  prayed  God  to  provide  a  way.  I  never  stopped 
praying  for  that  dear  girl.  It  was  not  long  till  the  Lord  sent  some- 
one along  to  love  her.  She  was  married.  Her  husband  was  a 
Christian.  A  good  many  years  after  this  marriage,  one  day  at 
noon,  as  we  were  eating  lunch,  a  young:  man  rode  up  on  horse- 
back, and  asked  if  I  would  come  down.  The  old  lady  was  not 
expected  to  live.  It  was  not  long  till  I  was  kneeling  by  her 
bedside,  asking  God  for  Christ's  sake  to  forgive  her,  and  to  answer 
the  prayers  of  this  daughter,  who  had  prayed  so  many  years  for 
her  dear  mother.  She  repented,  and  her  last  words  were,  with  a 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  93 

smile  upon  her  face :  "Jesus  saves,  Jesus  saves  I"-  Thus  she  passed 
away.  They  asked  me  to  conduct  the  funeral,  and  what  a  com- 
fort it  was  to  me  to  know  that  God  had  used  me  as  an  instrument 
to  save  two  out  of  that  wicked  home!  At  the  time  I  was  laboring 
with  this  family  there  were  good  Christians  who  would  say: 
"Sister  Peterson,  why  do  you  waste  your  time  on  a  family  like  that 
when  there  is  so  much  to  do,  when  no  good  can  come  of  it?"  I  was 
not  easily  discouraged  by  what  good  people  might  say.  Someone 
might  ask:  "Why  do  you  call  these  people  good?"  They  were, 
only  they  were  near-sighted,  and  could  not  see  that  God  was  able 
to  rescue  them  from  the  depths  of  the  most  dreadful  sin. 

One  evening,  at  our  meetings,  I  was  talking  to  a  young  girl. 
She  told  me  she  was  not  well,  and  asked  me  if  I  would  call  upon 
her  family,  who  were  not  Christians.  The  mother  was  not  married 
to  the  man  with  whom  she  was  living.  The  girl  was  taken  very 
sick,  and  the  doctor  said  she  could  not  live,  but  might  linger 
several  months.  I  visited  the  home  often.  The  girl  was  con- 
verted. The  mother  and  father  were  married,  and  the  home  be- 
came a  Christian  home.  At  this  time  I  was  caring  for  a  woman 
afflicted  with  quick  consumption.  I  had  made  but  few  visits  to 
the  house  before  she  was  converted.  They  were  poor,  and  she 
became  very  dissatisfied  with  the  way  her  mother  and  myself  were 
providing  for  her.  She  thought  one  day  she  would  sell  tickets 
for  a  ball,  and  in  that  way  get  the  clothes  she  wanted  and  have 
some  money  besides.  It  was  about  two  weeks  afterwards  when 
she  came  and  asked  me  to  forgive  her.  It  was  one  afternoon  when, 
looking  out  of  the  kitchen  window,  I  saw  her  coming  up  the  back 
walk.  I  said  to  myself:  "Here  she  comes.  Bless  her  dear  heart. 
I  knew  she  would."  As  I  opened  the  door  I  just  opened  my  arms 
and  smiled,  and  she  knew  what  that  meant.  As  she  looked  into 
my  face  with  an  inquiring  look  there  were  tears  rolling  down 
her  pale  face.  I  soothed  her  as  a  mother  would  her  own  child, 
while  she  told  me  in  tears  how  sorry  she  was,  and  how  miserable 
she  had  been,  and  how  far  away  from  the  Lord  she  had  gotten! 
"You  know  I  can't  go  to  the  church  any  more,"  she  told  me,  "for 
they  even  'went  for  you'  for  doing  for  me,  saying  you  were  covering 
up  my  sins  and  upholding  me  in  them."  She  knew  I  did  not  feel 
like  that  towards  her,  and  she  felt  she  could  come  to  me.  Someone 
had  gone  to  her  and  told  her  how  the  church  felt  toward  her, 
and  said  they  thought  I  should  have  better  judgment  than  to  do 
the  way  I  was  doing.  By  this  time  I  had  gotten  a  pillow,  and  she 
was  lying  on  the  lounge,  resting.  I  sat  by  her  side,  smoothing  her  hair 
and  told  her  not  to  mind  what  anyone  said,  but  to  do  what  was 
right  She  promised  me  she  would  come  to  the  Friday  evening 


94  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

meeting,  and  she  would  let  everyone  t  know  how  sorry  she  was. 
The  next  Friday  evening  she  was  there,  and  confessed  Christ  again 
before  the  church.  It  was  the  last  time  she  was  in  the  church  till 
she  came  in  in  her  coffin.  I  want  you  to  remember  how  they 
said  I  was  upholding  her  in  her  sins.  She  had  taken  sick  sud- 
denly and  was  confined  to  her  bed  only  a  few  weeks,  when  she 
died  happy  in  the  Lord.  The  last  words  she  said  were:  "Oh, 
mama,  it  is  so  nice  to  die  when  you  are  a  Christian,  and  trusting 
in  the  Lord.  Mama,  it  is  not  hard  to  die."  Asking  the  family 
to  meet  her  in  heaven,  she  passed  away.  As  I  looked  upon  her 
face  in  death  I  thanked  the  Lord  for  leading  me  as  he  had.  If  I 
had  listened  to  those  who  are  so  ready  to  condemn  and  advise 
those  who  are  doing  the  work,  you  see  plainly  she  might  have  been 
lost.  I  wondered  how  they  could  look  into  the  face  of  that  dear 
girl,  after  saying  so  many  hard  things  about  her,  without  going 
out,  looking  up  to  God  as  did  the  publican,  and  saying:  "God,  be 
merciful  to  me,  a  sinner."  If  you  know  of  Christians  who  have 
no  patience  with  those  who  are  falling  by  the  wayside,  let  them  read 
of  this  girl's  case,  and  perhaps  it  will  help  them  to  remember  God's 
injunction:  "Speak  not  evil  one  of  another." 

The  fallen  girl  I  spoke  of  calling  on  while  I  was  working  with 
this  family  was  brought  to  my  attention  one  evening  by  Sister  C — . 
She  came  to  me  after  church  and  asked  if  I  would  go  and  see  her. 
She  was  an  occupant  of  a  sporting  house,  and  was  very  sick.  "I 
am  led  to  come  to  you,"  she  said  to  me.  "Some  way  I  feel  that 
you  are  the  one  to  go  to  her."  So  many  have  asked  how  I  rind 
these  people,  sometimes  referred  to  as  "hoboes"  and  "the  scum  of 
humanity."  At  the  time  I  went  to  see  this  girl  I  had  only  been 
a  Christian  about  six  years,  and  had  been  an  active  worker  only 
three.  People  often  told  me  I  was  the  one  to  go  into  this  or 
that  kind  of  a  place.  Someone  needed  to  go,  and  I  usually  went. 
Somehow  they  were  led  to  trust  me,  and  there  was  a  something 
in  them  that  drew  me  to  them.  If  the  Lord  has  called  you  to  this 
work,  there  will  be  more  led  to  you  than  you  will  be  able  to 
see  and  minister  to,  especially  if  you  have  a  home  and  home  cares, 
as  I  have  had  all  these  years.  The  Lord  has  called  everyone  to  do 
more  or  less  of  this  kind  of  work,  and  there  is  not  one  in  a  thou- 
sand who  realizes  or  will  listen  to  the  call.  As  soon  as  the  Lord 
blesses  them  to  fit  them  for  the  work  and  to  teach  them  how  to 
be  led  by  the  Spirit,  they  too  often  become  interested  in  other 
things.  I  tell  you  it  takes  more  of  the  Spirit  of  God  to  go  into 
a  home,  be  it  of  high  or  low  degree,  and  get  the  confidence  and 
trust  of  those  within,  yea,  to  get  the  love  of  the  entire  family, 
than  it  does  to  preach  a  sermon.  I  care  not  how  much  of  a 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  95 

Christian  you  are,  if  you  have  not  the  Spirit  of  God  to  draw  them 
to  you  and  more  than  ordinary  good  feeling  toward  them,  you 
will  fail.  You  cannot  deceive  humanitv  one  bit.  If  you  have 
not  the  divine  love  of  God  in  vour  heart  for  the  work  your  labors 
will  be  in  vain.  Kind  words  and  smiles,  or  even  prayers,  do  not 
convict  persons  or  families  of  sins.  The  Lord  tells  us  in  his  word, 
except  they  be  drawn  to  him  they  cannot  come,  except  the  Father 
draw  them.  And  this  must  be  done  bv  the  Spirit  of  God,  and 
when  the  Lord  blesses  you  for  this  work,  do  not  think  you  have 
been  called  to  preach,  or  get  your  name  in  the  paper,  or  do  some 
great  thing.  He  blesses  you  that  you  may  be  able  to  stand 
temptation  and  trials,  that  you  may  be  willing  to  do  the  little  things. 
What  some  might  term  the  common  work,  means  to  go  out  into 
the  highways  and  by-ways  after  souls,  without  being  afraid  of 
soiling  your  own  hands.  You  may  have  to  give  to  others,  but 
he  blesses  you  in  order  that  you  may  have  the  strength  to  look  out 
for  the  welfare  of  others,  and  to  think  not  of  yourself.  You  may 
not  be  able  to  wear  better  clothes,  or  have  more  money  or  influence 
ome,  but  you  will  be  able  to  do  more  good  deeds,  and  you 
will  be  blessed  in  your  work  by  feeling  glad  that  you  can  do  the 
good  you  are  doing,  and  God  will  see  that  you  are  rewarded  in 
many  ways.  He  tells  us  in  his  word :  "You  shall  receive  your 
reward  for  what  you  have  done."  Is  that  reward  to  be  in  this 
life,  or  the  life  to  come?  Even  kind  deeds  will  not  alone  get  us 
into  heaven.  We  must  have  the  Spirit  of  God  in  us,  and  his 
blessings  are  to  enable  us  to  live  such  a  life  that  the  Spirit  will 
be  in  us  and  remain  with  us.  One  may  have  all  those  faculties  or 
gifts — for  they  are  gifts — from  God  and  not  the  Spirit;  but  give 
me  the  Spirit,  if  I  do  not  have  more  than  one  of  those  gifts,  and 
I  will  show  you  who  will  be  the  one  who  will  draw  the  people. 
Now  get  my  meaning.  You  will  draw  the  people  with  your  edu- 
cation and  money  and  kind  deeds  and  eloquent  sermons,  and  yet 
not  be  able  to  get  them  convicted  or  sin,  or  lead  or  teach  them 
how  to  receive  the  Spirit,  or  enable  them  to  get  hold  of  the 
truth  that  will  bring  them  into  the  spiritual  life,  though  they 
may  love  you  for  your  kindness  to  them.  They  will  soon  find  out 
that  your  help  is  not  what  makes  them  successful  in  the  spiritual 
life,  for  without  the  Spirit  of  God  we  cannot  help  the  spirit  of 
man,  or  do  his  soul  good.  Kind  deeds  will  bless  his  body,  but  it 
will  not  make  him  realize  the  Spirit  of  God.  or  spiritual  things. 
There  is  a  difference  in  doing  a  kind  deed  in  the  Spirit  of  God  and 
in  our  own  strength.  So  many  do  good  deeds  in  the  name  of  God, 
but  not  in  his  Spirit,  for  have  not  many  come  to  the  Lord  and 
said:  "Have  I  not  done  wonderful  works  in  thy  name?"  And 


96  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

what  has  been  his  answer  to  them?  "Depart  from  me,  for  I  never 
knew  you."  The  works  we  want  are  those  that  have  the  fruits 
of  the  Spirit  along  with  the  other  works,  that  we  may  see  a 
spiritual  work  done;  not  merely  getting  them  united  to  the  church, 
but  a  spiritual  people  is  what  is  needed.  Paul  wrote  to  the  brethren 
at  Collosse  that  he  had  not  ceased  praying  that  they  might  be  fruitful 
in  every  good  work.  (Col.  1:10.)  Who  can  do  good  work  and 
not  be  fruitful?  We  can  love  and  not  have  the  Spirit.  That  kind 
of  love\  will  not  draw  the  people  to  the  Lord  and  spiritualize  them. 
Listen  to  what  Paul  said  in  Col.  i  :8 :  "Who  also  declared  unto 
us  your  love  in  the  Spirit."  So  you  see  we. must  love  one  another 
in  the  Spirit  of  God,  and  not  in  our  own  natural  spirit.  If  we  do 
we  love  out  of  the  Spirit.  There  is  no  one  without  some  kind  of 
love,  who  does  a  good  work.  It  may  be  the  love  for  the  name 
of  it,  or  love  for  the  deed  itself.  One  might  love  to  feed  the  poor 
as  he  would  love  to  feed  anything  that  was  hungry,  or  just  for 
the  love  of  humanity,  which  is  a  great  love  that  cannot  be  compared 
to  any  of  God's  creation,  and  yet  that  love  is  not  the  love  of 
God,  except  you  love  in  the  Spirit.  Someone  may  ask  how  we  are 
to  know  when  we  have  the  Spirit.  You  may  know  when  you  have 
the  Spirit  in  you  by  your  own  ways,  not  around  you,  but  in  you. 
There  are  so  many  who  think  when  they  feel  the  Spirit  they  have  him 
There  is  a  difference  in  drinking  a  glass  of  water  and  having  the 
glass  of  water  applied  to  your  face.  One  does  you  good  in  one 
way,  but  not  the  good  it  would  do  if  you  drank  it,  for  that  will 
give  you  strength.  So  it  is  with  the  Spirit.  You'll  know  whether 
you  have  the  Spirit  or  not  by  the  strength  you  have;  from  your 
ability  to  live  your  secret  lives  so  as  to  bring  forth  the  fruits  of 
the  Spirit,  whether  you  act  them  in  your  home  life  or  not.  The 
fruit  of  the  Spirit  is  love,  joy,  peace,  long-suffering,  gentleness, 
goodness,  faith,  meekness,  temperance  (Gal.  5:  22,23).  If  we  do 
the  work  in  the  Spirit,  then  we  will  receive  a  reward  in  heaven, 
not  alone  here  on  earth,  and  if  not  your  work  will  be  burned  in  the 
day  of  judgment,  and  you  yourself  saved  as  by  fire,  because  you 
have  faith,  for  God  says  we  are  saved  by  faith,  not  by  works,  "for 
ye  are  led  by  the  Spirit  and  ye  are  not  under  the  works  of  the  law" 
(Col.  5:18-20).  Read  the  2Oth  verse,  where  the  Lord  speaks  of 
wrath  and  strife,  and  then  read  the  22d  verse.  By  getting 
angry  and  contending  we  show  works  of  the  flesh.  It  is 
not  the  spirit  of  the  one  who  has  the  fruits  of  the  Spirit. 
You  cannot  help  seeing  when  you  are  spiteful,  or  have  a  desire  to 
"get  back"  at  people,  and  say  things  that  are  cutting  and  sharp,  or 
even  go  pouting  around  the  house,  that  you  are  not  led  by  the 
Spirit.  The  Spirit  may  come  to  help  you  at  times,  and  you  may 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  97 

feel*the  presence  of  the  Spirit,  but  he  has  not  yet  taken  up  his  abode 
with  you.  That  is,  you  have  not  become  the  temple  of  the  Spirit 
of  the  living  God,  -being  under  the  law  and  in  the  power  and 
control  of  the  flesh.  Can  you  not  see  that  the  Spirit  cannot  lead  us 
when  our  spirits  or  the  spirit  of  the  flesh  is  controlling  us?  There 
are  too  many  of  us  working  for  God  who  do  not  live  the  fruits  of 
the  Spirit,  and  our  works  will  never  stand  the  test  of  the  judgment 
fires,  and  our  works  will  not  profit  us  anything,  if  we  have  not  the 
fruits.  We  cannot  have  the  fruits  except  we  have  the  constant, 
inward  abiding  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  that  we  may  yield  forth  the 
fruits  of  the  Spirit  at  every  trying  moment,  either  in  the  greatest  or 
smallest  temptation.  You  can  make  up  your  mind  if  you  are  living 
a  material  instead  of  a  spiritual  life  that  God  will  reward  you  in 
this  life,  but  your  works  will  not  stand  the  test  which  God  says 
will  try  every  man's  works.  Why?  Because,  as  I  have  said,  you 
have  not  the  love  of  the  Spirit,  and  except  you  have  the  love  of 
the  Spirit,  and  you  will  lose  your  reward  at  the  judgment.  You  may 
know  when  you  have  the  spirit  of  love,  because  you  will  have 
the  fruits.  Now  the  best  thing  that  we  can  do  is  to  lay  aside  all 
malice  and  envy  and  strife,  and  begin  to  be  led  by  the  Spirit  before 
we  go  any  further,  if  we  desire  a  reward  at  the  judgment.  I  want 
to  live  so  that  I  may  have  a  reward  here  and  a  reward  that  the 
judgment  fire  will  not  burn  up,  and  I  know  I  can  if  I  have  this  love 
of  the  Spirit,  and  whatever  I  do,  do  in  the  love  of  the  Spirit. 

Do  you  know  there  are  thousands  of  Christian  people  to-day 
who  only  have  one  of  those  fruits,  and  are  barren  of  the  other 
eight?  And  the  one  fruit  they  have  is  faith.  Now  what  kind  of 
a  reward  are  they  going  to  get?  The  reward  spoken  of;  they  will 
be  saved  as  by  fire.  I  tell  you  it  means  something  to  always 
be  good  and  kind  to  everything  and  everybody  at  all  times  and 
under  all  circumstances.  It  is  easy  enough  to  be  kind  to  those 
who  are  kind  to  us  and  to  be  gentle  when  there  is  nothing  coming 
up  to  disturb  us.  I  meet  many  mild-mannered  people  in  church 
who  will  smile  and  take  me  by  the  hand  when  in  their  hearts  they 
do  not  love  me.  I  can  feel  it,  and  have  felt  it  when  God  knows 
I  never  harmed  a  hair  of  one  of  their  heads,  or  said  one  evil 
thing  of  them.  If  they  had  this  love  that  I  have  been  speaking 
of  it  would  be  a  cheerful,  easy  thing  to  love  anyone,  for  love 
naturally  or  -spiritually  makes  all  paths  of  'life  easy,  and  when 
you  cannot  love  as  you  should  those  who  are  not  your  enemies,  and 
who  have  never  harmed  or  wronged  you,  how  could  you  love  your 
enemies?  You  will  say,  "I  will  forgive  them,  but  I  want  nothing 
to  do  with  them  or  say  to  them,"  and  you  will  get  on  the  other 
side  of  the  street  when  you  see  them  coming,  or  avoid  meeting 


98  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

them  in  church.  What  kind  of  an  impression  or  influence  -will 
one  have  who  has  that  kind  of  a  heart  and  spirit?  Smiling  ways 
do  not  stop  the  bad  feeling  and  bad  influence  .that  comes  from  the 
heart,  and  the  shake  of  such  a  person's  hand  has  no  more  inspira- 
tion in  it  than  a  dog's  paw.  We  may  think  it  does,  for  we  are 
blind,  but  anyone  who  has  had  much  to  do  with  human  nature  can 
usually,  tell  whether  one  has  this  kind  of  a  heart  or  not  when 
they  shake  hands  with  them.  One  who  harbors  the  spirit  of  selfish- 
ness, and  lives  for  no  one  but  himself  and  his  own  family,  has 
no  helpfulness  in  the  shake  of  his  hand,  neither  has  he  power  or 
influence.  I  tell  you  there  is  nothing  but  the  Holy  Spirit  in  you 
and  leading  you  that  will  help  anyone  spiritually. 

But  I  was  going  to  tell  you  about  this  girl.  Sister  C —  and 
I  started  out  to  see  her,  and  Sister  C —  iwas  telling  me  on  our 
way  the  best  way  to  talk  to  her.  I  said  to  Sister  C —  that  what 
I  must  do  or  say  must  be  left  with  the  Holy  Spirit.  He  must 
lead  me.  N'either  she  nor  I  knew  the  condition  of  her  heart,  but 
the  Holy  Spirit  knew  her  inmost  thoughts.  I  had  long  before 
learned  to  wait  and  listen  to  what  the  Spirit  brought  to  me  to 
say  or  do  when  I  was  brought  to  the  bedside  of  a  suffering  soul. 
As  I  was  going  up  the  stairs  I  said :  "Lord,  take  my  will,  and  Holy 
Spirit  lead  me."  Sister  C —  rapped  on  the  door  lightly,  and  a  faint 
voice  said :  "Come  in."  I  shall  never  forget  the  sight  that  met 
my  eyes.  There  in  the  middle  of  the  room,  in  a  large  rocking 
chair,  with  pillows  all  around  her,  she  sat,  but  oh,  so  pale !  Noth- 
ing but  a  skeleton  she  seemed,  and  her  large,  sad,  blue  eyes  only 
gave  her  a  more  deathly  appearance,  and  in  such  a  place  made 
it  that  much  more  solemn  to  me.  I  went  to  her  side  and  took 
her  hand,  and  Sister  C —  introduced  me,  saying:  "Mollie,  dear, 
this  is  Sister  Peterson."  The  girl  had  riveted  her  eyes  upon  me 
when  I  came  into  the  room.  Still  looking  at  me,  she  asked  us  to 
be  seated.  To  break  her  steady  gaze,  I  said:  "Mollie,  dear,  how 
long  have  you  been  sick?"  "Oh  not  long,"  she  said.  "The  doctor 
tells  me  I  have  quick  consumption,  and  that  I  cannot  live  long. 
I  did  not  send  for  you.  I  knew  it  would  do  no  good ;  but  Mrs. 
C —  said  she  was  going  to  have  you  come.  I  always  did  believe  in 
God  though,  for  my  mother  was  a  Christian."  When  she  said 
"mother,"  her  eyes  filled  with  tears.  "I  was  only  seven  years 
old  when  mother  died."  Her  voice  trembled  all  the  time  she  was, 
telling  her  sad  story.  My  heart  was  lifted  to  God.  That  mother's 
God  would  answer  prayer.  As  I  held  her  hand  she  said :  "I 
can  remember  mother  teaching  me  a  little  prayer."  I  asked  her- 
what  the  prayer  was.  Her  lips  quivered  as  she  said:  "This  is  it; 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  99 

"  'Now   I   lay  me   down   to   sleep, 

I    pray    the   Lord   my   soul   to   keep, 

If  I    should    die  before   I   wake 

I  pray  the  Lord  my  soul  to  take.'  " 

As  she  stopped  she  looked  me  steadily  in  the  eyes  and  said : 
"If  mother  had  lived  I  would  not  be  where  I  am  to-day.  In  a 
little  over  a  year  after  her  death  my  father  remarried.  I  was 
nine  years  old  when  I  went  out  to  work.  I  got  into  a  rough  fam- 
ily, and  at  eleven  years  of  age  I  was  a  bad  girl.  I  went  from  bad 
to  worse,  and  it  was  not  long  till  I  was  living  a  life  like  this." 
"Now,  Mollie,  do  you  not  know  there  is  hope  for  you?"  She 
only  laughed  a  sad,  hollow  laugh,  and  in  a  low  tone  as  if  she  were 
talking  to  herself,  with  a  sad  far-away  look  in  her  eyes  she  said : 
"There  is  no  hope  for  me.  I  am  too  far  away  from  God,  and  too 
deep  in  sin,  to  even  think  of  doing  right.  Think  of  me  coming 
now  and  trying  to  be  a  Christian  when  I  know  I  am  going  to  die ! 
Think  of  me  asking  him  to  take  me  for  the  few  months  that  I 
have  to  live !  No ;  I'll  never  come  now,  for  I  cannot  believe  that 
he  will  take  me  when  I  have  wasted  my  life  in  sin,  as  I  have." 
Then  I  told  her  how  the  Lord  had  saved  others  that  were  as  deep 
in  sin  as  she;  that  they  had  come  and  the  Lord  did  not  turn 
them  away,  and  that  he  would  not  turn  her  away  if  she  would 
only  be  willing  to  come.  She  said  it  was  against  her  will  to 
be  lost.  "Mollie,"  I  said,  "  a  willing  mind  God  will  accept."  I 
repeated  some  of  the  promises  of  God's  word  to  her,  telling  her  that 
God  had  said,  "whomsoever  will,  may  come,"  and  that  is  your  will. 
I  asked  her  if  I  might  pray.  "Yes,"  she  said,  "but  it  will  do  no 
good."  I  had  hardly  knelt  when  the  Holy  Spirit  came  with  mighty 
convicting  power.  I  had  not  been  praying  long  when  she  began 
to  weep,  and  when  I  ceased  praying  she  asked  me,  with  tears 
streaming  down  her  face :  "Do  you  really  think  there  is  hope  for 
me?"  I  said:  "Mollie,  he  plainly  tells  us  in  his  word  that  he  came 
to  call  sinners,  not  the  righteous ;  that  he  died  for  those  that 
were  lost,  for  the  ungodly;  that  his  blood  was  shed  upon  Calvary 
for  those  who  were  deep  down  in  sin."  "If  I  only  could  think 
there  was  hope  for  me,"  she  said.  Then  I  knelt  again  and  plead 
with  the  Lord  to  help  her  to  see.  I  requested  her  to  pray  while 
I  was  praying;  then  I  asked  Sister  C —  to  pray.  While  she  was 
praying  I  talked  to  her,  and  while  I  was  telling  her  how  to  come 
the  light  broke  in  upon  her  soul  and  again  I  knelt  and  prayed  and 
thanked  the  Lord  for  his  mercy  and  goodness  to  us.  I  bade  her 
good  night,  as  it  was  near  12  o'clock  and  I  had  two  miles  to  go. 
Sister  C —  stayed  all  night  with  her.  I  called  the  next  afternoon. 
She  was  all  right  and  trusting  the  Lord.  I  told  her  hpw  to  trust 


100  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

him,  and  then  we  both  prayed.  She  was  not  long  in  this  place 
when  the  madam  of  the  house  said  she  would  like  the  room.  There 
was  a  young  man  working  in  a  livery  stable  who  came  to  see  her. 
I  had  met  him  several  times  in  her  room.  I  asked  Mollie  where 
the  livery  stable  was,  and  told  her  I  wanted  to  see  him.  I  told 
him  we  would  have  to  find  a  place  for  her  to  stay ;  that  I  had  done 
so  much  I  felt  I  was  not  able  to  continue,  and  if  he  was  willing 
to  help  her  I  would  do  what  I  could.  In  a  few  days  he  found 
her  a  place.  He  had  to  take  her  where  someone  would  look  after 
her.  I  went  to  see  her,  and  she  said:  "Mama"  (for  she  had  asked 
to  call  me  mama.  She  said  I -had  come  the  nearest  to  being  a  mother 
to  her  in  all  these  years,  and  I  told  her  she  might,  if  it  would  be  a 
comfort  to  her,  though  there  was  but  a  few  years  difference  in 
our  ages),  "Mama,"  she  said,  "this  is  not  a  very  nice  place;  if 
anything  it  is  worse  than  the  place  I  came  from.  I  know  it  will 
make  no  difference  with  me.  Though  they  are  rough  they  will 
be  good  to  me,  and  'Billy'  (this  was  the  young  man)  needs  every 
cent  he  makes  to  help  me  and  keep  himself.  They  only  come  in 
to  see  what  I  want,  and  then  they  go  away  and  leave  me  alone."  I 
asked  her  what  kind  of  a  place  it  was.  She  said  it  was  a  recruit 
house.  When  one  of  the  girls  was  sick  or  broken  down  or  dis- 
eased, they  would  come  there  till  they  recovered,  then  they  would 
go  back  to  their  old  life.  I  said  to  myself :  "This  is  the  first  time 
I  ever  was  in  a  place  like  this."  She  said  they  would  not  allow 
Christians  up  there,  that  some  of  the  Salvation  Army  had  been 
up  there  but  they  would  not  let  them  stay,  and  when  some  of  the 
Holiness  Band  called  they  took  out  their  watches  and  timed  them, 
giving  them  so  many  minutes  to  get  down  the  steps  or  they  would 
throw  them  down,  but  she  said:  "Mama,  you  need  not  fear.  I 
have  told  them  about  you ;  how  kin/1  you  have  been  to  me,  and 
how  I  wanted  you  to  come."  I  called  to  see  her  till  she  died.  Not 
one  of  them  said  anything  to  me.  There  was  not  one  in  the 
house  but  soon  learned  my  step,  and  knew  how  long  I  stayed  before 
I  prayed.  It  would  make  Mollie  so  happy,  because  they  would 
all  gather  around  the  door  to  hear  me  pray.  The  hall  would  be 
full.  They  would  come  out  on  their  tiptoes  and  be  as  still  as  mice, 
and  when  I  got  through  they  would  all  tiptoe  back  into  their  rooms. 
I  could  go  into  the  kitchen  and  ask  for  anything  I  wanted  for 
Mollie,  and  no  matter  how  drunk  the  cook  was,  she  always  would 
get  whatever  I  asked  for.  Sometimes  there  would  be  seven  or 
eight  in  the  kitchen,  men  and  women,  and  all  drunk,  but  they  were 
always  kind  to  me.  They  had  stood  by  -Mollie's  bedroom  and  heard 
me  pray.  Jt  did  me  so  much  good  to  see  that  dear  girl  go  from 
room  to  room,  pushing  a  chair  before  her,  for  she  was  too  weak 


OR,    SEEKING    DIAMONDS    IN    THE    ROUGH  101 

to  walk  alone.  She  would  go  to  those  who  were  sick  and  talk 
to  them  about  their  souls,  and  tell  them  she  would  get  "Mama" 
to  pray  for  them.  One  evening  I  went  up  to  see  her  and  she 
told  me  there  was  a  sick  girl  in  the  house,  who  had  come 
from  Cheyenne,  suffering  from  a  dreadful  disease,  which  had  broken 
out  on  her  face.  With  it  all  she  was  still  a  beautiful  girl.  Mollie 
wanted  me  to  go  in  and  see  her.  Mollie  could  not  go  with  me, 
for  she  was  too  weak.  I  rapped  on  the  door,  and  was  told  to 
come  in.  Before  I  could  open  the  door  a  man  opened  it.  As  I 
entered  I  thanked  him  and  went  over  to  the  bedside  of  the  sick  girl 
and  told  her  who  I  was.  "I  know,"  she  said,  "Mollie  has  been 
telling  me  about  you."  As  I  took  her  hand  I  kissed  her,  and 
after  I  started  home  I  got  to  thinking  of  the  sores  that  were  on 
her  mouth,  and  I  prayed  the  Lord  to  protect  me,  as  I  had  kissed 
her  in  his  name  that  she  might  know  that  I  loved  her  and  that 
I  was  there  for  that  purpose  because  God  had  given  me  that  love 
for  her.  I  knew  in  that  act  I  could  do  more  to  convince  her 
that  I  did  not  feel  myself  above  her  and  to  make  her  feel  at  home 
in  my  presence  than  any  other  way.  There  were  two  men  in  the 
room.  One  attracted  my  attention.  He  was  a  fine-looking  man, 
handsomely  dressed,  with  a  silk  hat  and  gold-headed  cane,  diamond 
studs  in  his  shirt  front  and  a  diamond  ring  upon  his  finger.  I 
could  tell  from  his  appearance  and  conversation  that  he  had  been 
well  raised.  The  girl  told  him  who  I  was.  I  had  almost  forgotten 
where  I  was,- for  the  Lord  was  there  as  real  as  if  it  had  been  in 
the  church.  I  asked  her  if  I  might  pray.  The  man  referred  to 
started  as  if  to  go.  I  wanted  to  pray  before  he  left,  and  as  I 
said,  "let  us  pray,"  he  held  his  hat  in  his  hand  and  bowed  his 
head.  When  I  arose  and  was  wiping  my  eyes  with  my  handker- 
chief— for  the  Lord  had  wonderfully  blessed  me  in  prayer — he  came 
over  to  me  and  took  my  hand,  thanked  me  for  my  prayer,  bade  us 
good-night  and  left  the  room.  The  next  time  I  called  upon  Mollie 
she  told  me  I  never  would  know  the  good  I  had  done  in  that 
house.  She  said :  "Mama,  I  never  heard  religion  talked  everywhere 
as  it  is  here."  She  asked  if  I  remembered  the  well-dressed  man 
who  was  in  the  room  with  the  sick  girl.  "He  came  back  the  next 
day,  mama,"  she  added,  "and  the  first  thing  he  asked  was  who 
you  were  and  where  you  came  from."  When  informed,  he  said : 
"Does  she  live  here  in  Denver?  Why,  I  did  not  know  there  was 
a  woman  in  Denver  who  would  come  into  a  place  like  this,  and 
could  make  everyone  feel  at  home  in  her  presence,  as  she  did  last 
evening.  Do  you  think,  girls,  I  will  ever  forget  that  prayer,  or 
be  able  to  get  away  from  its  burning  words?  No,  that  prayer 
will  follow  me  to  my  grave !"  I  knew  I  was  strong  in  the  Spirit 


IO2  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

that  evening,  but  I  did  not  know  that  the  Spirit  was  going  to  convict 
him.  I  never  saw  him  again,  though  I  pray  for  him.  I  would 
often  take  Mollie  down  to  the  restaurant  for  supper  when  she 
was  well  enough  to  walk.  She  was  so  weak  that  in  order  to  walk 
is  was  necessary  for  her  to  put  her  arm  around  my  waist,  while  I 
would  put  mine  around  her  shoulder.  At  last  she  got  so  weak  she 
could  not  leave  her  room,  then  I  would  have  to  be  content  with 
taking  her  little  things  I  knew  she  would  relish.  The  last  thing 
I  took  her  was  a  fresh  cherry  pie.  A  little  while  before  her  death 
my  little  girl  was  taken  sick,  and  it  was  almost  two  weeks  before 
I  could  call  upon  her.  Someone  told  her  I  could  not  come.  There 
were  times  she  would  have  high  fever  and  in  her  delirium  she 
would  want  to  come  to  me.  They  said  she  would  start  for  the 
window,  and  in  her  weakness  she  would  fall.  She  would  then 
beg  them  to  take  her  to  me,  so  one  day  while  she  was  in  her  right 
mind  they  drove  her  up  to  my  house  in  a  carriage.  They  carried 
her  into  the  house,  and  the  only  word  she  said  was  "Mama,"  then 
she  fainted.  The  ride  was  too  much  for  her.  I  told  her  she  must 
go  back  and  go  to  bed,  and  that  I  would  come  to  see  her.  I 
promised  her  no  matter  what  happened,  if  she  wanted  to  see  me 
so  bad  as  that,  I  would  come.  I  went  every  two  or  three  days 
after  that  up  to  the  time  of  her  death.  One  afternoon  I  was  sit- 
ting by  her  bedside  holding  her  thin,  wasted  hand  in  mine.  I  never 
saw  her  look  so  sad  as  she  did  that  afternoon.  It  was  about  a 
month  before  she  died.  I  asked  her:  "Mollie,  why  do  you  look 
so  sad  at  times?  Is  it  because  you  want  something  you  cannot 
get,  or  is  it  that  you  feel  worse?"  I  saw  a  faint  smile  play  around 
her  mouth  as  she  pressed  my  hand  lightly.  A  deep  sigh  escaped 
her  lips,  as  she  turned  her  big  blue  eyes  toward  me.  She  had 
been  gazing  out  of  the  window,  looking  so  lonely  I  could  not  help 
asking  her  the  question.  "Mama,"  she  said,  after  a  moment's  pause, 
"I  am  going  to  tell  you.  I  cannot  remember  the  time  I  was  ever 
loved  by  anyone  except  you  and  mother.  I  was  so  young  when 
mother  loved  me  I  could  not  realize  it  as  I  do  now,  though  my 
heart  long  hungered  for  that  love  and  care — not  so  much  now. 
mama,  as  in  by-gone  days,  when  I  knew  no  one  loved  me.  There 
never  was  a  time  when  I  could  talk  about  this  subject  as  I  can  this 
afternoon,  and  I  will  tell  you  why,  mama.  I  know  you  love  me.  I 
can  feel  your  heart  go  out  to  me,  and  I  will  never  be  able  to  tell 
you  the  good  it  has  done  me.  And  I  know  Jesus  loves  me,  and  O 
what  a  peace  and  comfort  it  is !  All  this  other  is  gone,  never  to 
return  again."  She  was  quiet  for  several  moments,  then  she  con- 
tinued :  "Mama,  I  never  loved  but  one  man  in  my  life.  At  that 
time  I  was  not  what  one  might  call  a  wreck  in  life,  for  I  did  not 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  IO3 

intend  to  give  up  all  hope  and  go  to  the  depths  of  sin,  as  I  did. 
I  was  yet  in  my  te'ens  when  I  met  this  man  and  I  believed  in 
all  the  promises  he  made  me.  Oh,  how  I  did  love  him.  My  foolish 
young  heart  could  not  dream  of  such  a  thing  as  doubting  him, 
mama;  and  yet  he  left  me.  Yes,  he  went  away  and  left  me." 
As  these  last  words  lingered  on  her  lips  she  seemed  to  drift 
away  into  a  dream  of  thought,  and  to  break  the  sad  stillness  that 
had  gathered  around  us,  I  said :  "Mollie,  darling,  let's  talk  about 
something  more  cheerful."  "No,  mama,"  she  answered,  "let  me 
finish  my  story.  Do  you  know  what  it  means  to  be  out  in  this 
cold,  friendless  world  without  one  soul  to  go  to  when  your  heart 
is  breaking?"  "Yes,  Mollie,"  I  replied,  "I  know  more  than  the 
world  thinks  I  do.  Yes,  there  is  more  pain  and  suffering  in  a  life 
like  that  than  the  English  tongue  can  tell,  and  more  than  the  finite 
mind  of  the  human  race  can  conceive,  and  only  those  that  are 
homeless  and  friendless  and  without  a  comforting  word  or  a  word 
of  encouragement  can  know."  Then  my  young  life  came  back  to 
me — how  I,  too,  had  faced  the  cold  and  friendless  world  alone 
on  crutches,  having  no  knowledge  of  the  ways  of  this  cunning, 
wicked,  selfish  humanity,  and  how  I  had  suffered.  I  could  not 
help  gathering  the  poor  little  wasted  form  in  my  arms  and  loving 
her  as  only  a  mother  can  love,  and  we  mingled  our  tears  together, 
for  God  teJls  us  to  weep  with  those  that  weep,  and  I  surely  did 
that  afternoon.  I  kissed  her  tears  away,  and  we  prayed  and  thanked 
God  that  we  had  met,  and  in  the  sweet  by  and  by  we  would  meet 
again.  She  never  did  finish  her  story.  It  was  so  sad  I  thought 
I  would  give  her  no  more  pain,  and  was  sorry  I  ever  asked  her 
to  tell  me.  She  realized  that  her  life  had  been  a  wreck  and  Jesus 
had  taken  her  up  when  all  had  forsaken  her— how  wonderful! 
Then  I  thought  how  little  there  is  in  this  life  to  live  for  after 
all,  and  how  little  we  can  depend  on  anything  but  the  Lord,  and 
how  few  there  are  that  know  it,  and  how  much  there  is  for  us 
to  do,  to  go  out  in  the  name  of  our  Master  and  find  both  men 
and  women  on  the  shores  of  time  that  the  devil  has  made  a  wreck 
of,  drifting  here  and  there  with  no  anchor,  no  helm,  no  hope. 
Oh,  what  despair  must  settle  down  over  a  soul  like  that!  Re- 
member, my  dear  reader,  we  can  do  nothing  without  the  Spirit,  and 
we  can  have  him  if  we  will  live  for  him. 

It  seemed  my  soul  would  burst  with  a  flood  of  thoughts  that 
filled  .me,  and  these  words  came  to  me.  I  had  never  seen  them 
in  print,  and  I  thought  I  would  write  them  and  some  day  have 
them  printed,  not  thinking  at  that  time  that  I  would  write  my 
life :  "During  my  ten  years  of  mission  work  I  have  listened  to  many 
sad  stories  of  sin  and  misery,  and  my  heart  has  been  wrung  by 


104  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

the  stories  that  have  been  the  cause  of  the  downfall  and  ruin  of 
so  many  girls,  beautiful  and  cultured,  now  lost  and  ruined,  that 
I  think  a  woman  going  through  her  first  young  love  is  not  de- 
graded by  it,  because  when  the  deceiver  comes  she  does  not  realize 
that  she  is  doing  evil.  It  is  only  when  the  man  casts  her  off  that 
she  sees  herself  as  he  sees  her — a  thing  degraded  and  dishonored." 
This  is  the  story  of  so  many  I  am  called  to  pray  with.  Ten  years 
ago  Mollie  Hill  gave  her  heart  to  God  and  went  home  to  meet 
her  dear  mother  in  heaven,  .rich  in  glory  at  last,  praising  his  holy 
name,  and  still  this  is  the  story  that  is  told  me  repeatedly:  "My 
heart  and  soul  went  out  to  him  irresistibly.  I  forgot  my  self- 
respect,  the  dignity  of  womanhood,  everything  that  a  woman  ought 
to  remember.  I  did  not  realize  or  understand,  for  before  this 
all  my  surroundings  had  been  pure  and  refined,  and  I  was  inno- 
cent and  inexperienced,  ignorant  of  the  world's  ways,  astonishingly 
ignorant,  incredibly  innocent.  I  can  hardly  believe  myself  that 
I  could  have  been  so  innocent,  looking  back  as  I  do  from  my 
present  dreadful  depths  of  knowledge  across  the  gulf  of  those 
awful  years,  with  their  dreadful  and  frightful  relations." 

These  are  the  words  that  came  to  me  after  hearing  the  story 
of  Mollie  Hill. 

I  asked  myself:  What  is  love?  And  these  are  the  thoughts 
that  came  to  me: 

Love  is  like  a  feather  in  the  air.  It  will  soon  fleet  away, 
whence  no  one  knows.  It  will  lead  you  to  think  of  him  in  the 
stillness  of  night,  when  the  moon  creeps  into  your  window  and 
the  stars  twinkle  brightly  in  the  heavens.  It  is  then  you  appear 
like  a  rosebud  that  has  been  plucked  from  the  bush,  or  a  snow- 
flake  that  has  fallen  from  the  heavens  to  'the  earth  to  be  trodden  by 
human  feet.  It  is  then  you  will  stray  into  the  mysterious  realms  of 
the  unknown.  Those  who  knew  you  once  will  know  you  no 
more.  You  will  kiss  the  token  of  his  love  and  die  alone.  No  one 
is  near  to  give  you  a  parting  kiss  or  consoling  word.  Death  comes 
and  you  are  far  away  from  your  dear  old  home.  When  the  green 
moss  grows  above  you,  you  will  have  no  one  to  mourn  for  you. 
Though  the  trees  seem  to  mourn  and  the  stars  to  weep,  there  will 
be  no  kind  hand  to  plant  a  flower,  or  a  tongue  to  say:  "My  loved 
one  lies  here."  But,  alas !  a  mother's  child,  a  broken  heart  lies 
beneath  that  rude,  cold  mound.  Dear  reader,  give  your  heart 
to  Jesus,  the  one  who  is  able  to  keep  you  in  this  life,  and  help  y|ou 
to  live  a  happy  life  here,  and  save  you  in  the  better  world  above. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  1OS 


CHAPTER  X. 

YES,  I  find  this  the  only  remedy  or  help,  to  give  ourselves  to 
the  one  who  paid  the  debt  on  Calvary,  as  this  dear  child 
did.  Her  last  words  were:  "Mama,  dear,  I'll  be  at  the  gates 
of  heaven  waiting  for  you.  Look  for  me  when  you  come." 
I  cannot  help  believing  the  first  one  I  will  meet,  after  I  meet  my 
Savior,  will  be  dear  Mollie  Hill,  the  poor,  fallen  outcast,  despised 
by  the  heartless,  thoughtless,  selfish  crowd  of  church-going  people. 
Too  many  despise  them.  You  may  think  I  am  harsh  in  saying 
Christian  people.  Do  I  know  this  to  be  a  fact?  Yes;  too  well  do 
I  know  it.  I  blush  with  shame  to  think  I  must  acknowledge  there 
are  so  many  who  are  following  the  Savior  afar  off.  If  we  follow 
him  and  walk  in  his  footsteps  we  must  be  found  at  the  well,  talk- 
ing to  them  as  he  was  found  doing,  and  anywhere  that  we  may  have 
an  opportunity,  though  we  may  be  marveled  at  as  his  own  disciples 
marveled  at  him.  When  you  see  a  disciple  marveling  you  may 
know  he  is  following  the  Savior  afar  off;  that  he  has  not  yet 
gotten  in  touch  with  the  Lord;  that  the  Spirit  is  not  leading  him. 
He  is  allowing  temporal  things  to  draw  his  attention.  So  it  will 
be  with  you,  dear  child  of  God.  There  are  plenty  who  will  try  to 
get  you  into  other  lines  of  work,  and  tell  vou  that  vou  are  wasting 
your  time.  But  I  say,  do  not  think  your  work  is  finished  here 
on  earth  till  you  have  taken  into  vour  arms  some  mother's  fallen 
girl,  or  some  mother's  fallen  boy,  though  he  may  be  filthy  with 
dirt  and  rags.  There  was  a  time  when  he  nestled  at  mother's 
breast  as  clean  and  pure  as  your  own  child.  Do  not  think  you  have 
so  much  to  do  that  you  cannot  take  into  your  home  one  of  these 
poor  outcasts,  and  give  him  a  mother's  love  and  a  sister's  care. 
Doubt  not  that  God  loves  them,  whether  you  do  or  not.  It  is 
not  an  assumed  love — not  a  love  of  duty  to.  them — but  a  real,  deep, 
heart  love,  that  will  have  power  and  draw  them  to  you — that  they 
will  not  stay  away — something  that  they  can  feel.  I  know  from 
wide  experience  they  will  struggle  hard  to  please  you  if  they  know 
you  love  them.  And  then,  as  gently  as  a  mother  with  her  child, 
point  them  to  Jesus.  If  they  fail,  have  patience  with  them,  as  you 
would  with  your  own  boy  or  girl.  I  know  there  are  foolish 
mothers,  who  have  not  patience  with  their  own  children;  and  yet 
they  say  they  are  Christians.  This  kind  of  father  or  mother  or 
Christian  is  not  fit  to  take  one  of  these  fallen  men  or  women  into 
his  home.  He  cannot  have  the  right  kind  of  love  or  feeling  toward 
the  outcast.  He  is  as  helpless  to  help  such  a  person  as  the  person 


106  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

is  to  help  himself.  I  do  not  mean  that  we  should  feed  these  out- 
casts as  we  should  feel  an  animal,  a  dog  or  a  cat ;  oh,  no ;  I  mean 
to  love  them  with  your  heart.  Then  they  will  feel  at  home  in 
.your  presence.  If  you  do  not  love  them  with  that  kind  of  love 
they  will  know  it.  I  do  not  care  how  kind  you  are,  the  kindness 
will  do  them  but  little  good  if  you  do  not  use  every  effort  to  get 
them  to  see  their  sins,  that  they  may  be  born  of  God.  I  do  not 
care  how  grateful  they  may  be,  your  work  alone  without  God's  work 
will  do  them  but  little  good.  It  must  be  the  Spirit,  and  the  Spirit 
will  work  through  you  to  them.  If  you  have  not  the  Spirit, 
it  is  the  blind  leading  the  blind,  and  you  and  they  will  fall  into 
the  ditch  together;  for  your  work  will  be  in  vain.  But  to  return 
to  my  story: 

I  conducted  her  funeral  services  in  Miller's  undertaking  estab- 
lishment. The  room  was  filled  with  those  women.  The  madam 
of  the  house  in  which  she  was  taken  sick  paid  for  the  carriages  and 
coffin  and  shroud.  I  never  before  attended  a  service  like  that, 
where  there  were  so  many  tears  shed  as  there  were  that  Sunday 
morning.  The  Lord  led  me  to  talk  very  plain  to  those  girls.  As 
we  all  stood  there  to  look  on  one  that  death  had  fastened  his 
clutches  upon,  not  knowing  who  would  go  next,  oh,  how  I  was  led 
to  warn  them,  and  try  to  pursuade  them  to  be  ready ! 

After  the  lady  who  had  her  hand  taken  off  left  my  home  I 
prayed  the  Lord  to  send  someone  to  take  the  rooms  upstairs, 
for  I  could  not  get  along  without  someone  to  stav  with  my  little 
girl.  In  a  few  days  a  sister  in  the  church  asked  me  for  the  rooms. 
She  had  not  been  converted  long.  There  was  herself,  her  husband 
and  little  boy.  They  stayed  nearly  a  year.  She  was  a  member  of 
the  workers'  band.  The  evening  that  Sister  C —  was  converted  I 
went  home  with  her  and  her  husband.  I  did  not  know  why  I  was 
led  to  go  home  with  her.  The  Lord  wanted  me  to  go.  It  was 
on  my  way  home,  and  as  I  stopped  at  the  gate  to  bid  them  good- 
night the  Spirit  kept  prompting  me  to  ask  to  go  in  awhile.  I  said : 
"Lord,  it  is  getting  late."  Still  I  was  led  to  go  in,  so  I  asked 
Sister  C —  if  I  might  go  in  a  little  while.  She  said,  "yes,"  so  I  went 
in.  As  I  sat  down  I  saw  why  the  Lord  wanted  me  to  go  in.  I  hadn't 
been  in  but  a  few  minutes  when  Brother  C —  began  to  ask  me 
questions,  and  I  was  led  to  tell  my  experience,  and  how  Mr. 
Peterson  and  I  got  along  before  I  was  converted;  how  I  left  him 
three  times  before  I  was  saved,  and  how  differently  we  had  gotten 
along  the  last  four  years — that  I  never  thought  of  leaving  him 
since.  While  I  was  talking  there  were  four  or  five  in  the  ad- 
joining room  playing  cards.  As  I  got  along  in  -my  story — I  was 
talking  loud — it  was  not  long  till  the  card-playing  ceased  and  I 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  167 

had  everything  my  own  way.  I  was  telling  how  I  had  played 
cards  and  drank  beer.  If  you  think  there  are  none  but  the  low 
and  outcasts  that  play  cards  you  are  very  much  mistaken.  If  there 
is  a  class  that  reads  this  book  that  is  ignorant  of  this  fact,  I 
would  say  for  their  benefit  that  euchre  parties  and  games  of  all 
kinds,  and  all  kinds  of  drinks,  are  known  among  what  is  called  the 
high  class,  and  in  society,  and  in  the  middle  class.  After  I  had 
told  my  experience,  and  asked  if  I  could  pray,  I  asked  her  husband 
if  he  would  kneel  with  us.  Then  I  asked  Sister  C —  to  pray.  While 
she  was  praying  I  went  over  to  her  husband,  as  I  could  see  the 
Spirit  had  convicted  him,  but  he  was  not  converted  while  I  was  there. 
All  that  night  he  could  not  sleep,  and  toward  morning  was  con- 
verted. It  was  ii  o'clock  when  I  left  their  home.  I  wondered 
who  the  people  playing  cards  in  the  next  room  were,  and  why  the 
Lord  led  me  to  tell  how  unhappy  Mr.  Peterson  and  I  had  lived, 
and  how  angry  I  used  to  get.  The  next  morning,  about  10  o'clock, 
Sister  C —  came  and  told  me  how  the  Lord  had  used  my  prayer 
and  experience.  She  said  her  husband  was  converted  that  night, 
and  had  asked  if  I  had  heard  them  playing  cards  in  the  other  room. 
She  said  they  were  her  father  and  mother,  and  her  brother  and 
his  wife.  She  said:  "You  told  how  unhappy  your  home  was 
before  you  were  converted,  and  how  you  would  throw  the  dishes 
and  slam  things  around;  that  is  the  way  my  husband  and  I  have 
been  living."  I  told  her  that  I  knew  the  Lord  had  led  me  to  tell 
of  my  experience,  and  now  I  could  see  why.  She  said :  "This 
morning  my  mother  said  she  had  played  the  last  card  she  would 
ever  play."  It  was  not  long  till  they  were  all  converted  but 
the  father,  and  he  and  I  had  several  talks.  He  would  say  there 
was  nothing  like  that  for  him.  "Do  you  think,"  he  said,  "that  I, 
after  sixty-seven  years,  would  have  an  experience  like  you  are  all 
talking  about?"  He  said  all  he  could  hear  talked  of  late  was 
religion.  I  told  him  I  knew  he  would  be  convicted  of  sin  if  he 
would  but  listen  to  what  I  said.  I  said:  "Mr.  H — ,  if  the  Holy 
Spirit  has  never  convicted  you  of  sin  the  day  will  come  when  he 
will,  and  you  will  know  it — no  one  will  have  to  tell  you."  He  an- 
swered :  "Mrs.  Peterson,  I  want  to  tell  you  that  you  do  not  know 
what  you  are  talking  about  when  you  talk  to  an  old  man  as  yon 
do  to  me.  I  think  if  you  were  a  Christian  you  would  not  insult 
an  old  man,  old  enough  to  be  your  father,  just  to  have  your  own 
way."  I  said :  "Mr.  H — ,  I  do  not  want  my  way.  It  is  God's 
way."  "Do  you  think?"  he  asked.  "I  am  a  man  who  has  gone 
through  the  war  in  the  time  of  the  rebellion,  where  the  bullets 
fell  like  hail,  and  I  have  gone  to  church  all  my  life,  being  raised 
a  Christian,  and  even  went  so  far  as  to  join  the  church,  and  with 


log  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

all  this  I  have  never  felt  the  Spirit,  as  you  call  it,  or  that  I  was 
a  sinner.  I  know  no  one,  who  is  reasonable,  could  help  saying  they 
have  done  wrong,  out  to  feel  myself  a  sinner  and  go  to  God  for 
forgiveness,  when  I  have  all  my  life  been  honest,  and  have 
dealt  with  my  fellowman  as  I  would  have  him  deal  with  me, 
and  being  good  to  my  family,  is  another  thing.  I  know  my  father 
was  not  as  kind  to  his  family  as  I  have  been  to  mine,  and  yet 
he  was  a  Christian."  I  could  see  that  Mr.  H —  was  angry.  He 
took  his  hat,  and  as  he  went  out  at  the  door,  I  said:  "Mark 
what  I  tell  you,  you  will  never  enter  eternity  till  the  Holy  Spirit 
has  convicted  you  of  sin ;  and  when  he  does,  you  will  know  it." 
His  wife  turned  to  me  and  said :  "Sister  Peterson,  I  am  so 
sorry.  I  thought  you  would  be  the  one  to  lead  him  out  into 
the  light,  for  he  thought  so  much  of  you."  1  said :  "Well,  I 
could  not  help  saying  what  I  did."  I  told  Sister  H —  that  I  would 
come  over  in  the  morning  and  see  how  he  felt;  but  when  he  saw 
me  coming  he  went  out.  Sister  H —  said :  "It  is  too  bad."  I 
said :  "I  am  sure  the  Lord  wanted  me  to  say  what  I  did,  and  I  am 
sure  it  is  all  right."  "Oh !  Sister  Peterson,  how  could  it  be  all 
right,  when  you  see  how  he  does?"  I  had  said  nothing  but  the 
truth.  "The  truth,"  I  said,  "is  right;  and  it  will  come  all  right." 
She  could  not  see  it.  I  said:  "Let. us  pray,  and  ask  the  Lord  to 
take  care  of  everything  that  has  been  said."  This  was  on  Thursday. 
He  told  us  after  he  was  converted  how  he  felt  toward  me.  He 
thought,  as  I  was  a  young  woman,  with  no  education  and  little 
experience,  I  would  stand  and  talk  to  him  as  though  I  knew  it 
all.  But  when  I  said  to  him,  "Mark  what  I  tell  you,  Mr.  H — ,  the 
time  will  come  when  you  will  feel  that  you  are  a  miserable  sinner, 
and  it  will  be  before  you  die,"  the  words,  he  said,  burned  deeply 
into  his  heart  and  soul.  For  three  days,  he  said,  he  could  not 
drive  this  from  his  mind.  He  thought  he  would  go  to  the  Taber- 
nacle and  perhaps  it  would  leave  him,  but  he  said  it  got  worse.  On 
his  way  home  from  the  church  he  stopped  and  got  a  drink  or  two, 
thinking  that  would  make  him  forget  what  I  had  said  to  him, 
but  he  could  not  sleep.  Again,  when  Wednesday  night  came,  he 
said:  "I  will  go  and  ask  the  people  to  pray  ^or  me."  His  wife 
said  she  never  saw  him  so  cross.  After  raising  his  hand  for 
prayers  he  said  he  then  left  the  church.  He  said  when  he  got  to 
the  side-walk  it  came  to  him  if  he  would  go  back  and  tell  them 
how  he  felt  he  would  feel  better.  He  did  so.  As  he  started  to 
tell  them,  he  said  the  feeling  I  had  told  him  of  came  to  him — that 
he  was  a  miserable  sinner — and  he  gave  his  heart  to  God.  The 
last  I  heard  of  them  he  was  leading  the  Sunday  morning  class 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  IOQ 

meeting  near  Los  Angeles,  Calif.  He  said  afterward  that  he  be- 
lieved if  I  had  not  talked  to  him  as  I  did  he  never  would  have 
been  converted.  I  knew  the  Holy  Spirit  had  led  me  to  say  what 
I  did,  and  I  knew  good  would  come  of  it.  After  Sister  C —  left 
my  house  I  let  the  rooms  to  another  lady,  Sister  T — ,  a  nurse,  about 
forty-five  years  of  age.  She  was  a  member  of  the  Tabernacle, 
having  become  one  a  few  months  before  she  came  to  live  with  me. 
While  Sister  C —  and  her  husband  rented  of  me  I  had  some  trouble 
to  get  them  to  bear  with  one  another's  faults.  One  morning,  about 
8  o'clock,  I  heard  some  loud  talking  upstairs.  I  knew  what  was 
the  matter.  I  took  the  broom  and  hammered  on  the  ceiling,  but 
they  did  not  stop  as  they  had  before  when  I  rapped  with  the 
broom-handle.  I  would  beg  both  of  them  to  get  on  their  knees 
when  they  saw  there  was  any  kind  of  trouble  coming.  I  had 
begged  them  to  get  separate  rooms.  I  thought  that,  perhaps,  would 
make  a  difference.  It  did,  but  they  soon  got  back  again  into  their 
old  habits,  so  I  locked  the  kitchen  door  and  went  upstairs  to  see  if  I 
could  settle  the  trouble.  I  had  not  been  up  there  long  when  1 
heard  my  little  girl  trying  to  get  out  at  the  door.  I  said  to  Sister 
C — :  "I  will  go  down  and  get  my  little  girl  and  come  back."  As 
I  turned  to  the  door  I  heard  glass  breaking.  I  said :  "What  is 
that?"  As  I  went  down  the  steps  I  saw  it  was  the  glass  in  the 
kitchen  door;  and  there  my  little  girl  had  the  hatchet  breaking 
the  glass  out  of  the  door.  I  unlocked  the  door  and  went  in.  Sister 
C —  and  her  husband  came  down  the  stairs  after  me.  Sister  C — 
said:  "Why  do  you  not  punish  the  child?  If  my  boy  would  do 
that  way  I  surely  would  punish  him  severely."  I  had  her  on  my  lap 
and  hardly  knew  what  to  say.  To  think  a  child  five  years  old  would 
do  a  thing  like  that !  It  would  not  have  taken  long  to  have 
finished  the  door.  When  Sister  C —  asked  me  why  I  did  not 
punish  the  child,  I  gave  her  this  answer:  "Sister  C — ,  why  does 
not  God  punish  you  and  Brother  C —  for  doing  the  way  you  have 
this  morning?  You  both  know  it  is  not  right,  and  you  are  both  old 
enough  to  stop,  and  reason,  and  pray.  You  know  this  is  no  way 
for  you  two  to  do  if  you  were  not  Christians,  and  now  to  think 
you  both  will  go  and  sing  in  the  choir,  and  pray  and  testify,  and 
then  do  the  way  you  do — not  a  week  without  this  kind  of  trouble. 
If  you  and  your  husband  had  been  living  the  peaceable  lives  that 
you  should  this  never  would  have  happened.  I  cannot  see  that 
the  child  is  as  much  to  blame  as  you,  and  I  will  not  punish  her." 
They  had  not  stopped  to  see  how  reasonable  it  was.  She  said: 
"I  had  not  thought  of  it  in  that  light."  You  might  ask  what 
was  the  trouble.  Did  he  drink?  No;  he  did  not  drink.  There 
is  more  trouble  in  this  line  in  Christian  homes,  and  nice  respectable 


110  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

families,  than  there  is  in  drunkards'  homes.  The  only  difference 
is  one  can  plainly  see  the  trouble  in  the  home  where  drink  is. 
The  other  is  a  worse  hell,  and  the  trouble  is  born  in  the  secret 
closet.  I  know  this  to  be  a  fact.  In  my  own  Christian  work  I 
have  met  hundreds  of  families  in  the  same  trouble,  bearing  it  with- 
out a  word.  Oh,  no ;  it  would  never  do  to  speak  of  this  sin,  never ! 
You  can  speak  of  the  murderers  and  liars  and  drunkards  and  out- 
cast women,  and  the  newspapers  can  be  filled  with  all  manner  of 
wickedness,  columns  after  columns,  and  the  boys  and  girls  can 
read  the  news  night,  and  morning — all  about  assaults  committed 
on  such  a  girl  living  at  such  a  street  and  number — but  I  tell  you 
this  sin  that  I  know  to  be  such  a  curse  in  our  homes  to-day,  oh,  no. 
Sister  Peterson!  Oh,  the  very  idea  of  your  saying  anything  about 
the  private  homes  of  our  country !  Oh,  no ;  let  the  poor,  stricken, 
broken-hearted  mother  and  wife  bear  this  sin.  It  is  too  shameful 
to  speak  of;  let  it  alone.  The  laws  of  the  land  to-day  denounce 
a  great  many  things,  but  this  sin  is  hid  away  in  the  closets  of 
our  homes,  where  laws  cannot  find  it,  and  where  preachers  do 
not  dare  to  speak  of  it.  If  they  did  they  would  be  put  out  of  their 
pulpits.  Do  you  know  my  own  child  has  asked  me,  when  her 
father  had  been  reading  of  assaults  committed,  what  it  meant. 
At  last  she  would  not  spare  me  till  I  told  her  all  about  it. 
Now  I  am  going  to  tell  you  some  of  my  experiences  on  the  line  of 
trouble  that  I  have  mentioned.  T  do  not  intend  to  leave  out  one 
thing  that  has  happened  in  my  life.  I  will  tell  the  whole  truth. 
What  is  the  sole  reason  that  half  of  the  wives  and  husbands  are 
not  spiritual?  The  most  of  them  are  not,  on  one  side  or  the 
other.  I  find  this  sin  lies  mostly  with  men.  In  some  cases  it 
is  with  the  woman.  This  sin,  or  weight,  is  one  of  the  weights 
or  sins  the  bible  tells  us  we  should  lay  aside,  "fhe  Lord  tells  us 
to  lay  aside  every  weight  and  the  sin  that  does  so  easily  beset 
us.  I  know  this  besets  more  Christians,  and.  causes  more  sin  and 
trouble,  than  the  great  liquor  traffic  that  some  of  our  Christians 
are  fighting  to-day.  If  you  would  try  to  show  the  husbands  of 
our  homes  the  harm  that  this  sin  is  doing  to  their  own  families  I 
think  they  would  come  to  God  to  take  this  evil  out  of  their  natures. 
I  have  heard  ministers  of  the  gospel  say  they  believe  if  we,  as 
Christians,  or  homes,  or  as  a  nation,  had  more  opposition,  that  we 
would  be  more  zealous ;  that  we  need  something  to  stir  us  up.  Think 
of  it!  Are  we  asleep  under  the  dreadful  sin  that  has  killed  the 
spirituality  of  our  churches  and  homes,  and  robbed  wives  of  their 
health,  and  is  the  result  of  so  many  sick,  delicate  children  to-day? 
Every  generation  of  women  is  getting  weaker.  I  have  heard  my 
own  mother  say  she  could  do  more  work  now,  after  she  had  raised 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  III 

a  large  family,  than  half  the  young  married  women  to-day.  I 
have  heard  other  mothers  say  the  same  thing,  and  say  at  the  same 
time  if  they  had  not  been  as  strong  as  an  ox  they  would  have 
broken  down  under  the  treatment  they  had  received  from  their 
husbands.  They  were  weakened,  and  their  daughters  inherited  the 
weakness,  and  their  daughters'  daughters  inherit  the  same  weak, 
frail  body,  pale,  with  great,  black  rings  around  their  eyes.  There 
have  been  public  writers  so  blind  to  this  fact  as  -to  say  the  corset 
is  the  cause  of  women's  trouble,  when  I  know  this  one  thing  to  be 
the  cause.  Not  that  I  would  encourage  the  use  of  the  corset — 
I  know  this  helps  on  women's  weaknesses.  Men,  as  a  rule,  in 
this  day  and  age  of  the  world,  have  got  the  wrong  idea  altogether 
of  the  relationship  of  the  wife  and  husband.  With  a  constant  study 
of  the  bible  for  seventeen  years,  and  being  an  active  worker  for 
twenty,  coming  in  contact  with  all  classes  and  conditions  and 
nationalities,  and  making  human  nature  a  deep  study,  an  earnest, 
prayerful  study,  asking  God  to  help  me  and  lead  me  aright,  that 
I  might  be  able  to  lead  and  advise  and  rebuke  in  all  lines  pertaining 
to  .the  human  race,  both  naturally,  physically,  spirituajly  and  finan- 
cially, with  the  experience  of  almost  twenty-five  years  of  married 
life,  being  a  mother  with  a  child  in  her  twentieth  year,  I  realize, 
with  God's  help,  that  I  can  take  up  this  subject  with  many  other 
lines  of  thought,  and  be  able  to  help  those  who  are  willing  to  be 
helped,  and  throw  a  light  in  many  dark  corners  of  our  lives  and 
homes  of  to-day.  Ministers  have  told  me  there  was  not  one  in 
a  thousand  who  could  go  into  homes  and  get  the  love  and  con- 
fidence of  a  family  as  I  have  done  for  years.  I  have  fully  trusted 
God,  and  he  has  never  failed.  I  do  not  believe  there  is  one  single 
soul  that  regrets  trusting  me,  for  I  consider  a  trust  a  sacred  thing, 
that  should  never  be  broken  by  saint  or  sinner.  I  am  safe  in  saying 
hundreds — yes,  thousands — have  unfolded  the  secrets  of  their  inner- 
most souls  to  me;  and,  thank  God,  he  has  enabled  me  to  help  them 
in  many  ways.  And  I  pray  this  book  may  be  the  means  of  help- 
ing thousands,  aye,  millions,  of  suffering  souls,  the  saved  and  the 
unsaved  people. 

This  family  I  have  been  speaking  of,  with  many,  many  others, 
I  prevailed  upon  to  take  separate  rooms  till  this  trouble  could  be 
overcome,  where  they  could  be  a  little  temperate  and  their  wives 
given  a  chance  to  regain  health — that  the  pale  face  and  black  rings 
under  her  eyes  might  disappear.  Reason  alone  can  tell  you  a  mother 
who  is  nursing  a  child  is,  without  doubt,  weaker  than  at  any  other 
time ;  and  with  the  care  of  from  two  to  five  children  all  day, 
think  what  a  strain  is  on  her  mind.  Perhaps  while  one  is  still^  at 
Ijer  breast  she  is  soon  to  becqme^  a  mother  again.  She  is  worried 


112  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

almost  to  death  lest  before  these  are  out  of  the  way  there  will 
be  another;  and  how  they  will  be  able  to  meet  their  rent  and 
get  clothing  to  keep  them  warm,  is  a  strain  on  the  mind.  The 
constant  care  and  responsibility  of  the  children,  from  the  £irth 
of  the  first  till  they  are  all  grown  (and  not  even  then  does  it 
cease,  but  last  even  to  the  grave),  is  upon  them  even  while  they 
sleep.  With  the  care  on  the  mind  and  the  wtafc  body,  there  is 
all  the  work.  Perhaps  she  is  not  off  her  feet  once  from  early 
morning  till  late  at  night;  and  when  she  does  lie  down  hers  is 
not  the  rest  the  husband  gets.  The  thought  that  she  must  make  every 
cent  go  as  far  as  possible  is  ever  present.  And  added  to  all  this 
is  the  husband  to  please  in  his  wishes,  and  his  lustful  habits  to 
gratify,  which  ninety-nine  out  of  every  hundred  dreads,  because 
it  is  so  often  requested  regardless  of  what  she  says  or  does.  The 
mother  has  nothing  to  say  as  to  how  far  apart  the  children  should 
be  that  her  body  may  bear  the  burden ;  not  a  thought  to  the  mother, 
or  wife,  or  child;  only  the  husband.  He  alone  must  be  considered 
or  you  will  see  a  snappy,  ugly,  pouting  individual.  He  will  say 
he  is  losing  his  love  for  and  interest  in  his  family,  and  many  will 
stay  out  nights.  I  personally  know  husbands  who  have  made  it 
disagreeable  in  their  homes  for  days  because  they  could  not  have 
their  way.  Now  I  do  want  to  talk  plain  and  simple,  omitting  big 
words,  so  that  even  the  most  ignorant  and  unlearned  can  under- 
stand and  be  profited  by  this  simple  book.  I  do  want  to  get 
it  into  the  families  in  this  city  if  possible.  One  of  the  most  prom- 
inent doctors  said  to  others  beside  myself  that  he  was  an  infidel. 
To  what  do  you  think  he  assigned  the  cause?  He  said  it  was 
the  husbands  of  to-day.  If  God  was  a  loving  God,  he  argued,  as 
we  all  said  he  was,  why  does  he  allow  husbands  to  treat  their 
wives  as  they  do?  Bear  with  me  a  little  longer.  I  have  gone  into 
homes  where  I  have  brought  men  to  their  duty,  and  they  have  told 
me  if  it  were  not  for  the  lustful  pleasures  of  the  world  they 
would  not  care  to  live.  Think  of  it !  Standing  at  the  head  of  a  fam- 
ilies, and  having  no  higher  ambition  or  aspiration.  Such  men  are 
lower  than  animals.  I  have  cornered  them  so  there  was  nothing 
left  for  them  but  to  tell  the  very  thoughts  of  their  hearts.  I  have 
forced  them  to  acknowledge  that  they  would  make  hell  for  their 
wives  if  she  did  not  grant  their  request.  This  kind  of  difficulties 
are  too  shameful  to  be  spoken  of;  yet  it  is  one  of  the  greatest  evils 
of  our  homes  to-day.  One  might  say:  "I  would  not  consider  that 
a  very  desirable  subject  for  conversation."  Sin  in  its  deepest  form 
is  not  a  desirable  topic  of  conversation ;  but  it  must  be  condemned 
and  rebuked.  And  to  rebuke  we  must  speak  of  these  sins.  I 
know,  that  to  talk  to  them  in  a  common  conversation,  to  meet 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  113 

with  them  in  every-day  life,  you  would  not  dream  this  to  be  the 
evil  practice  in  their  homes.  Perhaps  I  cannot  make  you  believe  it. 
There  was  a  time  I  did  not  and  could  not  dream  of  such  a  thing. 
I  will  tell  you  how  I  learned.  I  would  visit  a  home  and  the  wife 
would  say:  "We  do  not  get  along  very  well  together."  Others 
would  say:  "We  have  trouble."  Neighbors  would  say:  "That 
husband  and  wife  are  not  happy.  Look  at  her  sad,  pale  face.  She 
seems  to  be  dragging  her  life  out.  I  do  not  know  what  it  is. 
He  seems  to  be  kind.  He  does  not  drink  or  gamble,  and  he  pro- 
vides well.  Yet  she  looks  so  sad  and  cast  down.  Life  seems 
to  be  a  task  for  her."  Well,  I  did  not  give  up  till  I  learned,  and 
now  I  need  not  be  in  a  home  more  .than  twenty-four  hours  till  I 
know  what  the  trouble  is.  In  one  home  I  started  to  talk  on  this 
subject  in  a  good,  kind  spirit,  and  before  I  got  through  the  hus- 
band was  looking  at  the  wife  and  the  wife  at  the  husband.  He 
knew  his  wife  had  not  seen  me  alone,  and  had  had  no  chance  to  tell 
me.  It  troubled  him  to  know  how  I  found  out.  "Well,"  he  said, 
"Mrs.  Peterson,  I  have  gone  so  far  as  to  tell  my  wife  that  is 
what  I  married  her  for;  still  since  then  I  have  learned  to  care 
for  her."  "Still,"  she  said,  "he  has  not  given  up  his  old  ideas." 
She  need  not  have  said  a  word.  Her  face  told  the  story.  When 
he  said  he  loved  her  I  knew  he  did  not  know  what  love  was.  We 
need  to  pray  against  this  sin.  We  must  preach  against  it.  We 
must  write  against  it,  and  get  the  educated,  cultured  and  en- 
lightened people  to  see  this  great  evil.  I  know  this  sin  to  be 
among  all  classes.  God  appeals  to  reason  in  all  things,  and  I 
cannot  help  thinking  God  appeals  to  the  reason  of  man  in  raising 
a  family.  I  have  been  in  families  of  from  four  to  eight,  up  in 
rooms  four  or  five  stories  high,  living  in  rooms,  the  mother  wash- 
ing for  a  living  and  the  husband  a  drunkard.  I  have  taken  vege- 
tables to  these  families,  where  the  children  have  not  seen  any 
green  garden  stuff  all  summer.  Before  I  could  get  the  vegetables 
on  the  table  they  would  be  eating  them,  as  greedy  as  little  pigs.  I 
asked  the  mother  if  they  had  had  any  fruit,  and  she  said  they 
hadn't  even  seen  fruit  the  whole  year  round.  Think  of  the  raising 
of  that  family!  Why  should  we  not  cry  against  such  conditions! 
Perhaps  you  will  find  fault  with  nature  or  the  Lord  if  not  with 
me  because  I  speak  of  these  things  that  might  be  called  delicate 
matters;  but  sin  is  not  a  delicate  thing.  It  is  not  covered  before 
God,  and  why  should  it  be  covered  before  man?  The  same  God 
that  made  man  and  created  his  nature,  created  vegetation  and  fruit 
that  nature  requires  and  demands.  Speak  of  the  half-fed  and  half- 
clad  children  of  our  land  to-day  and  we  will  get  the  answer  that 
we  must  multiply  and  replenish  the  earth.  That  is  a  cloak  for 


114  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

their  lust  and  sin.  God  made  the  beautiful  sunlight,  the  fresh 
air  and  the  green  grass,  that  we  might  enjoy  it;  nature  cannot 
thrive  without  it,  and  yet  we  will  see  large  families  that  are  robbed 
of  all  that  nature  requires.  Why?  Because  of  poverty.  They 
have  not  even  the  necessities,  and  yet  fathers  and  mothers  will  say 
that  they  are  obeying  the  command  that  God  gave  man.  That  is 
the  only  command  they  keep.  If  they  were  living  up  to  the  com- 
mandments of  God,  the  things  nature  requires  God  would  give  them. 
If  we  only  would  study  nature  how  much  trouble  we  would  avoid ! 
Even  then  we  would  have  trouble  and  sorrow  enough.  Now  let  me 
speak  of  the  things  of  nature  that  never  made  a  mistake 
as  long  as  sinful,  lustful  men  will  let  nature  have  her  way.  Let 
us  see  what  nature  does,  and  how  she  has  provided  protection  for 
women ;  yet  lustful  men  will  rob  her  of  what  God  has  provided 
for  her,  and  make  her  life  a  burden  because  her  health  is  gone 
when  God  tells  us  to  live  for  the  interest  of  others;  men  will  not 
live  for  the  interest  of  their  own  wives.  Some  may  not  be  willing 
to  read  this  truth,  and  even  condemn  it  because  of  their  own  lustful 
hearts.  You  may  want  to  know  what  I  call  a  lustful  man.  He  is 
one  who  will  not  regard  his  wife's  wishes,  and  will  not  permit  her 
to  limit  the  family  so  that  her  health  may  not  be  injured.  If  this 
is  not  right  why  did  nature  do  for  woman  what  it  has?  God  help 
us  to  look  on  this  life  and  all  nature  in  a  reasonable  way. 

To  show  the  unreasonable  practice  of  hundreds  of  families 
to-day,  I  will  tell  you  a  story  of  a  family,  which  is  only  a  sample 
of  hundreds.  Every  time  there  was  a  child  born  into  the  family 
the  neighbors  had  to  donate  food  and  clothing,  and  money  to  pay 
the  doctor's  bill.  They  became  tired  of  this  unreasonable  charity, 
for  the  wife's  health  was  in  such  condition  she  was  unable  to  attend 
to  her  domestic  duties.  And  you  tell  me  God  calls  on  that  woman 
to  sacrifice  her  health  in  that  way?  I  know  men  who  are  ashamed 
to  drive  a  poor-looking  horse,  when  at  home  their  own  wives  are 
in  a  worse  condition,  and  they  seem  to  think  but  little  of  it.  Still 
they  are  kind,  send  for  the  doctor  and  pay  the  drug  bill.  Why  is 
he  willing  to  do  this?  Because  he  is  not  willing  to  sacrifice  his 
own  lustful  habit.  I  went  to  see  this  poor  family  one  day,  and 
she  was  telling  me  what  the  neighbors  said  about  her  husband.  I 
could  not  blame  her.  I  pitied  the  poor,  suffering  children.  She 
began  to  make  excuses  for  him.  He  was  the  picture  of  health, 
she  like  a  shadow.  "If  God  wants  us  to  have  a  large  family,"  she 
said,  "we  should  not  complain."  I  asked  her  if  she  meant  if  he 
would  not  control  his  passion  and  lust,  that  we  ought  not  to 
complain.  "Dear  sister,"  I  said,  "there  are  a  good  many  things  that 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  IIS 

we  do  that  God  has  no  part  in.  It  is  us,  using  nature  contrary  to 
God's  plans,  making  life  a  burden,  and  bringing  children  into  the 
world  to  suffer;  ruining  the  lives  of  wives  and  mothers  because 
we  are  not  temperate  in  all  things.  Do  not  think  that  God  has 
made  nature,  and  then  is  coming  to  change  it  for  the  lust  of  man. 
You  say  it  is  a  good  thing  to  have  a  large  family,  if  it  is  the  will 
of  God.  But  Paul  tells  us  that  we  can  be  over-zealous  in  a 
good  thing;  and  to  be  temperate  in  all  things.  To  see  the  condition 
of  your  health,  and  this  hungry  family,  you  surely  are  not  tem- 
perate in  all  things.  That  is  one  reason  why  we  should  not  be 
unequally  yoked  together  with  unbelievers;  and  yet  most  of  the 
believers  have  not  laid  aside  these  weights  of  sin.  Our  homes 
cease  to  be  spiritual  because  the  carnal  mind  is  ruling  both  men 
and  women.  God  says :  'Evil  communications  corrupt  good  morals.1 " 
Let  us  stop  here  and  consult  with  nature,  as  we  find  it  in  the 
doctor-book — "The  Safe  Counsel  or  Searchlight,  or  Light  in  Dark 
Corners — Light  and  Life."  Get  the  book  and  see  for  yourself  that 
nature  has  provided  a  way  for  delicate  women  so  graciously  that  the 
law  of  God  being  regarded,  it  provides  mothers  and  wives  with  such 
protection  that  life  is  a  pleasure  and  not  a  burden ;  and  there  will  be 
at  least  two  years  between  the  children  in  each  family.  So  many 
of  these  families  I  have  mentioned  are  ignorant  of  the  laws  and 
conditions  of  nature — both  husband  and  wife.  This  knowledge  would 
be  of  great  value  and  legitimate  use  to  the  functions  of  our  being. 
Some  feel  that  had  they  known  these  things  in  their  early  married 
life  it  would  have  proved  of  inestimable  value.  If  this  counsel  is 
followed,  thousands  of  homes  will  scarcely  know  the  need  of  the 
physician's  presence.  Many  rue  the  day  of  this  excess  when  it  is 
too  late.  I  have  taken  from  the  doctor-book  this  statement:  That 
is  is  constantly  affirmed  by  leading  physicians  that  prostitution  is 
practiced  under  the  marriage,  vow,  which  is  protection  for  this 
wicked  practice  in  our  respectable  homes  to-day.  Again  this  book 
says:  Here  again  we  lay  the  axe  at  the  root  of  the  tree.  The 
married  man  who  dares  affirm  that  there  is  a  particle  of  physical 
necessity  for  this  sin  is  a  liar  and  the  truth  is  not  in  him.  Whether 
these  men  be  princes,  peers,  legislators,  professional  men,  mechanics 
or  workingmen,  they  are  moral  pests,  a  scandal  to  the  social  state 
and  a  curse  to  the  nation.  I  appeal  to  the  Christian  people  of  our 
land  that  we  pray.  If  only  people  would  imitate  the  lower  animals. 
Do  you  know  no  voluntary  instances  occur  through  the  entire 
animal  kingdom?  All  females  repel,  with  force  and  fierceness,  the 
approaching  of  the  male.  The  male  will  not  contend  against 
the  will  of  the  opposite  sex.  The  human  family  is  the  only  ex- 
ception. A  man  who  has  the  right  kind  of  love  for  his  wife,  how- 


Il6  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

ever,  will  respect  her  under  all  instances,  and  will  still  recognize 
her  condition  and  yield  to  her  wishes  and  with  kindness 
will  sacrifice,  with  an  amiable  spirit,  and  will  not  show  indifference 
to  wife  and  family  though  it  be  against  his  will.  Too  many  wives 
must  acknowledge  that  their  own  husbands  are  not  willing  to 
suffer  and  practice  self-denial,  even  when  they  know  their  wives' 
health  is  at  stake.  I  want  to  ask  a  question:  Can  any  woman 
have  the  right  kind  of  feeling,  and  the  respect  God  tells  her  to 
have  for  her  husband,  when  the  laws  of  nature  are  transgressed  to 
such  extent  that  her  health  is  ruined  ?  Again  I  ask :  How  can  you, 
husband,  secure  for  your  person  the  loving  care  and  respect  of 
your  wife  under  such  circumstances?  Too  many  men  think  when 
they  have  gotten  her  through  the  law,  it  matters  little  about  the 
will,  or  her  love  or  respect. 

You  will  find  in  I  Cor.  7:5  these  words:  "Defraud  ye  not  one 
the  other,  except  it  be  with  consent  for  a  time,  that  ye  may  give 
yourselves  to  fasting  and  prayer ;  and  come  together  again,  that 
Satan  tempt  you  not  for  your  incontinency." 

God  has  given  to  every  husband  the  power  of  restraint, 
and  insists  upon  self-control.  Now,  if  a  man  loves  his  wife  as  he 
should  he  will  give  his  consent.  I  will  tell  you  why  I  refer  you 
to  nature's  laws.  It  is  in  Jesus'  name,  to  stop  the  crime  that  is 
being  committed  in  trying  to  govern  the  size  of  families  when 
God  has  already  provided  a  way.  So  many  women  have  lost  their 
health  because  of  this  crime;  and  the  husband  is  the  cause  of 
it.  Again,  in  the  same  chapter  and  the  2Qth  verse :  "But  this  I  say, 
brethren,  the  time  is  short.  It  remaineth  that  both  they  that 
have  wives  be  as  though  they  had  none."  That  surely  would  give 
the  poor,  sick  wife  "time  to  get  well.  And  in  the  same  chapter 
and  the  33d  verse:  "But  he  that  is  married  careth  for  the  things 
of  the  world  how  he  may  please  his  wife."  Now,  do  you  see,  not 
to  please  the  lust  of  his  own  selfish  self,  but  to  please  his  wife; 
and  how  could  you  please  a  sick  wife  more  than  to  pray  and  fast? 
The  Lord  is  talking  to  the  brethren.  Read  the  2Qth  verse. 
Try  this  plan,  my  dear  brethren  and  sisters  in  Christ,  and 
see  if  your  homes  will  not  be  more  spiritual  and  the  church 
you  belong  to  benefit.  I  know  what  I  am  talking  about.  The 
newspapers  are  filled  with  plainer  things  than  I  have  said,  and 
there  are  no  exceptions  taken.  I  must  say,  in  regard  to  a  fam- 
ily, the  greatest  calamity  that  can  befall  a  woman  is  not  to  have 
a  child.  The  next  greatest  calamity  is  to  have  only  one.  God  says 
that  he  has  shortened  the  days  of  man  for  the  elect's  sake;  and 
I  want  to  ask:  "Does  he  expect  of  a  woman  in  these  shortened 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  117 

days  as  much  as  he  did  of  women  when  their  days  were  many — 
from  80  to  loo  years?"  The  average  man  lives  to  be  33^  years 
old,  and  we  must  admit  that  women  are  weaker  physically  than  our 
mothers  or  grandmothers.  Does  God  expect  as  much  of  a  delicate 
woman  as  he  does  of  a  strong  one?  When  God  does  not  (for  he 
is  a  reasonable  God)  man  should  not.  I  will  close  this  subject  by 
saying  that  if  there  are  any  who  take  exceptions  to  what  I  have 
said,  I  know  if  they  could  have  gone  with  me  the  last  twenty 
years,  and  seen  the  home  of  the  drunkard  and  his  children,  I 
am  sure  they  would  change  their  minds  in  regard  to  my  plain 
language.  There  was  a  time  that  man  was  alone.  I,t  was  not 
long;  only  long  enough  for  God  to  put  him  into  the  Garden 
of  Eden,  and  tell  him  what  he  should  do  and  what  he  should 
not  do.  He  told  Adam  what  he  would  have  him  do,  and  added: 
"It  is  not  good  that  the  man  should  be  alone.  I  will  make  him  an 
helpmeet."  (Gen.  2:18.)  A  helpmeet  is  not  a  slave;  and  when  she 
became  his  wife  it  was  not  to  take  her  will-power  from  her,  that 
she  should  have  no  voice  in  regard  to  her  own  privileges.  A  help- 
meet, not  a  footmat;  but  an  equal,  on  an  equality  with  him  in 
every  respect.  The  only  difference  I  can  see  is  that  he  made  the 
man  first,  and  put  on  him  all  the  responsibilities;  but  a  true  wife, 
I  find  by  experience,  must  take  upon  herself  part  of  those  respon- 
sibilities if  she  is  a  true  helpmeet.  If  she  had  not  influenced  Adam 
as  she  did,  God  would  not  have  permitted  him  to  rule  over  her.  God 
says,  in  the  3d  chapter  of  Gen.,  and  the  i6th  verse,  unto  the 
woman:  "I  will  greatly  multiply  thy  sorrow  and  thy  concep- 
tion; in  sorrow  thou  shalt  bring  forth  children;  and  thy  desire 
shall  be  to  thy  husband,  and  he  shall  rule  over  thee."  Do 
you  see  how  he  said  he  would  give  the  man  sorrow  in  the  I7th 
verse,  but  he  would  greatly  multiply  the  sorrow  of  the  woman. 
He  did  not  say  how  many  times  he  would  multiply  it.  Everyone 
must  admit  that  the  sorrow  of  woman  is  greater  than  that  of 
man.  Then  in  Gen.  3  :22 :  "And  the  Lord  God  said,  Behold,  the  man 
is  become  as  one  of  us,  to  know  good  and  evil."  Think  how 
wonderful  is  the  knowledge  of  man !  In  the  sixth  chapter  a*nd  the 
5th  verse:  "And  God  saw  that  the  wickedness  of  man  was 
great  in  the  earth,  and  that  every  imagination  of  the  thoughts  of 
his  heart  was  only  evil  continually."  The  way  the  Lord  speaks 
of  the  daughters  of  men,  2d  verse  of  the  same  chapter,  woman  had 
something  to  do  with  their  wicked  thoughts.  Think  of  the  cities 
of  Sodom  and  Gomorrah,  which  were  destroyed  because  of  the 
lust  of  mankind!  And  now  we  are  able,  through  Christ  and  the 
power  of  the  Holy  Ghost,  to  overcome  the  world,  the  flesh  and 
the  devil.  At  the  beginning  the  woman  helped  to  turn  the  world 


Il8  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

bottom  side  up ;  and  now,  through  Christ,  she  is  no  more  to 
be  ruled  by  man.  She  rises  up  again  on  a  level  with  man,  and 
once  more  can  be  his  helpmeet,  and  do  her  part  in  trying  to  get 
the  world  right  side  up.  In  order  to  do  this  she  must  be  as  God 
has  told  her  in  II  Cor.  6:14:  "Be  ye  not  unequally  yoked  together 
with  unbelievers."  The  way  is  now  open.  She  can  be  free  in 
Jesus  Christ.  You  can  see,  by  reading  I  Cor.  11:3:  "But  I  would 
have  you  know,  that  the  head  of  every  man  is  Christ;  and  the  head 
of  the  woman  is  man;  and  the  head  of  Christ  is  God."  If  the  man 
is  willing  to  let  Christ  be  his  head,  then  he  is  a  comfort  to 
woman.  How  would  Christ  get  along  if  he  were  not  willing  that 
God  should  be  his  head?  Would  he  be  fit  to  be  the  head  of  man? 
And  if  man  is  not  willing  that  Christ  shall  be  his  head,  how 
would  he  be  fit  to  be  the  head  of  woman?  Again  we  can  take 
this  chapter  in  this  meaning:  God  was  before  all  things  and  Christ 
was  before  man ;  and  after  God  made  the  man  he  made  woman. 
Of  course  man  was  the  head  of  woman  in  his  creation,  and  that 
is  the  only  difference  I  can  see;  for  Christ  is  equal  with  God,  for 
he  said  they  are  one.  The  multiplied  sorrow  that  God  said  he 
would  put  upon  woman  must  have  been  when  he  said  man  should 
rule  over  her,  though  they  were  one.  Neither  does  God  take 
man's  will  from  him,  or  receive  anything  of  man  against  his  will. 
In  I  Cor.  11:7,  God  says:  "For  a  man  indeed  ought  not  to  cover 
his  head,  forasmuch  as  he  is  the  image  and  glory  of  God:  but 
the  woman  is  the  glory  of  man."  Notice,  if  you  please,  the  word 
"forasmuch."  As  the  man  is,  so  is  the  woman.  Now  if  he  is 
not  in  his  place,  as  the  glory  of  God,  tell  me  how  the  woman  can 
be  in  her  place  as  the  glory  of  man?  If  he  is  not  in  his  place 
before  God,  and  the  woman  is  faithfully  filling  her  place,  she 
surely  is  above  him  in  the  sight  of  God  and  in  Spirit.  But  if  he  is 
not  in  the  glory  of  God,  where  God  put  him 'through  Christ,  in 
the  3d  verse  of  the  same  chapter,  where  is  he?  Can  woman  be 
a  glory  to  him,  when  in  the  tenth  verse  of  the  same  chapter  God 
compares  her  with  angels?  Then  if  man  is  not  before  God  as 
he  intended,  he  is  beneath  the  woman  in  Christian  character.  In 
Eph.  5 :22 :  "Wives,  submit  yourselves  unto  your  own  husbands, 
as  unto  the  Lord."  If  a  husband  is  filling  his  place  as  a  husband, 
as  Christ  is  filling  his  at  the  head  of  the  church,  then  it  would  be 
a  pleasure  for  his  wife  to  please  him,  as  it  would  be  a  pleasure  for  us 
to  please  Christ.  Why?  Because  everything  would  be  in  harmony 
and  peace,  and  we  would  love  to  fill  our  places  as  wives.  Read 
the  25th  verse  of  the  same  chapter;  then  show  me  a  wife  that  will 
not  do  her  part:  "Husbands,  love  your  wives,  even  as  Christ  also 
loved  the  church,  and  gave  himself  for  it."  Show  me  a  husband 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  119 

who  will  give  up  his  selfish  desires  cheerfully,  and  I  will  show 
you  a  Christ-like  husband.  Those  who  get  angry  at  everything  that 
crosses  them  could  not  convince  me  they  had  given  themselves 
for  their  wives;  and  how  deep  is  their  love  if  they  have  not? 
If  we  cannot  love  one  another,  and  bear  with  each  other,  and  be 
good  and  kind  with  our  faults,  we  as  husbands  and  wives  are 
not  filling  our  places  as  Christ  is  filling  his  to  the  church.  Hus- 
bands, read  Eph.  5:28,  29,  30;  and  then  the  33d:  "Nevertheless, 
let  everyone  of  you  in  particular  so  love  his  wife  even  as  himself: 
and  the  wife  see  that  she  reverence  her  husband."  We  can  see  so 
plainly  by  reading  these  verses,  husbands  and  wives  are  to  one  another 
as  Christ  is  to  the  church.  As  Christ  takes  his  place  as  a  Savior, 
so  should  a  husband  take  his  place  to  preserve  the  health  of  his 
wife.  How  many  husbands  realize  their  responsibility?  Read  the 
seventh  chapter,  3d  and  4th  verses  of  I  Cor. :  "Let  the  hus- 
band render  unto  the  wife  due  benevolence:  and  likewise  also  the 
wife  unto  her  husband.  The  wife  hath  not  power  of  her  own 
body,  but  the  husband:  and  likewise  also  the  husband  has  not 
power  of  his  own  body,  but  the  wife."  Her  power  is  equal  to 
that  of  any  man.  Yes ;  she  had  power  on  her  head — she  is  crowned 
with  power  because  of  the  angels.  She  has  the  power  to-day.  How 
sad  that  they  are  ignorant  of  it.  That  is  why  women  are  looked 
upon  as  fallen,  and  men  are  not.  A  woman  is  like  a  fallen  angel. 
There  is  expected  of  woman,  from  the  whole  world,  more  than 
is  looked  for  in  man.  Read  Eph.  5:33.  Notice  the  word  "par- 
ticular." Now  be  particular,  men,  to  love  your  wives;  be  par- 
ticular about  that,  if  you  are  not  about  anything  else,  for  you 
know  God  said  he  had  greatly  multiplied  their  sorrow,  where  you 
only  have  sorrow.  I  know  most  men  think  they  are  doing  all 
because  they  get  the  flour;  but  they  could  not  earn  much  staying 
at  home  to  make  the  bread.  If  they  did,  someone  would  get  their 
job!  I  have  tried  getting  the  flour  and  baking  the  bread,  or,  in 
other  words,  I  have  been  out  in  the  world  relying  upon  my  own 
resources  for  both  flour  and  bread ;  and  I  have  taken  a  man's  place 
in  business ;  I  have  also  taken  a  woman's  place  as  a  mother  and 
a  housekeeper  and  wife.  Give  me  the  cornfield  from  6  o'clock  to 
6  o'clock,  and  it  is  not  as  hard  as  a  woman's  work.  I  have  tried 
both,  and  know  what  I 'am  saying;  for  when  you  come  in  from 
the  field  or  from  business  you  can  lie  down  and  rest;  though  you 
may  have  cares,  you  can  lay  them  aside  in  a  way;  but  the  care  of 
a  wife  and  mother  is  day  and  night.  Oh,  the  dear  -mother  needs 
the  most  tender  love  of  her  husband  to  encourage  her  in  her  con- 
stant care!  Read  Eph.  5:33,  last  line.  I  want  to  call  your  atten- 
tion to  the  word,  "reverence."  Husbands,  to-day  every  man 


120  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

thinks  his  wife  should  reverence  him,  and  look  to  him,  and  regard 
every  wish  and  desire.  Why?  Because  he  is  bringing  in  some- 
thing to  eat;  and  when  he  is  doing  that  he  thinks  that  is  all  there 
is  to  be  done.  If  the  wife  worked  for  anyone  else  as  hard  as  she 
works  for  him  she  would  certainly  earn  as  much.  Oh,  no;  there 
is  more  to  life  than  that.  If  that  were  all  there  was  to  work  for 
I  would  want  to  die.  That  is  why  so  many  tire  of  life.  Think 
of  the  women  who  are  clean  and  pure  in  both  thought  and  word, 
whose  husbands  are  cross  and  coarse,  with  a  big  cud  of  tobacco 
in  their  mouth.  Every  once  in  a  while  the  wife  gets  a  whiff  of  his 
pipe.  His  clothes,  too,  smell  of  the  dreadful  weed,  yet  he  thinks 
he  is  filling  the  place  of  a  husband  and  should  be  reverenced. 
Another  type  is  the  husband  with  the  whisky-laden  breath,  who 
desires  to  be  reverenced.  Still  another  is  the  gambler,  whom  the 
law  will  sooner  or  later  be  after,  and  he,  too,  is  a  husband  who 
desires  to  be  reverenced.  And  yet  another  with  the  beer  breath,  who 
has  perhaps  been  hanging  over  the  bar  of  a  saloon  for  hours 
before  he  comes  home  to  his  family.  And  he  must  be  reverenced. 
Another  who,  perhaps,  does  none  of  these  things,  but  has  been 
telling  and  listening  to  lustful  stories.  When  he  comes  home 
his  mind  is  filled  with  them.  He  must  be  reverenced  too.  There 
is  another  who  is  quiet,  and  has  nothing  to  say.  To  look  upon 
him  he  seems  faultless,  yet  every  woman  he  looks  upon  he  lusts 
after,  and  has  already  committed  adultery  in  his  heart.  What  kind 
of  an  influence  will  he  have  on  his  family,  what  kind  of  a  spirit  is 
his?  Is  Christ  his  head?  Yes,  as  much  as  he  is  the  head  of  the 
wife,  yet  she  must  reverence  him  when  he  has  no  regard  for  Christ, 
and  the  word  reverence  never  comes  into  his  heart,  for  he  has  not 
practiced  it  to  God.  Here  is  another  who  can  hardly  tell  the  truth. 
He  has  lied  so  often  it  has  become  a  fixed  habit  with  him.  He 
is  dishonest  in  all  his  dealings,  yet  the  wife  is  supposed  to  rever- 
ence him.  Of  course  the  law  has  declared  him  a  husband,  whether 
he  is  filling  the  place  or  not.  Here  is  another  who  can  use  God's 
name  in  vain  whenever  he  feels  like  it,  even  in  common  conver- 
sation. He  is  a  husband  at  the  head  of  a  family,  .and  thinks  he 
is  at  the  head  of  the  universe,  yet  never  stops  to  think  that  the 
devil  is  at  his  head.  He  thinks  if  he  gives  the  church  $10  he 
can  buy  the  preacher  and  the  salvation* of  his  soul  just  as  he 
would  buy  a  plug  of  tobacco.  He  defies  the  world,  and  thinks 
he  has  got  the  best  of  "it.  If  something  doesn't  occur  to  wake  him 
up,  he  will  go  'on  to  the  end  of  his  life,  and  will  never  find  out 
his  mistake.  May  God  help  the  blinded  husbands  of  our  land! 
Moses  granted  a  bill  of  divorce  because  of  the  hardness  of  the 
heart  which  comes  from  the  practice  of  the  things  I  have  men- 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  121 

tioned.  I  Cor.  14:31-36:  "Ye  may  all  prophesy  one  by  one,  that 
all  may  learn  and  all  may  be  comforted."  Did  not  the  Lord  mean 
to  include  woman  when  he  said  all?  Then  it  did  not  mean  for 
the  woman  to  be  still  in  that  sense,  when  he  said  all  could  proph- 
esy. The  32d  verse  says:  "And  the  spirits  of  the  prophets  are 
subject  to  the  prophets."  Paul  meant,  when  he  said  this,  that 
there  were  women  trying  to  prophesy  when  they  did  not  have  the 
spirit  to  do  so.  Have  you  not  seen  both  men  and  women  do  the 
same  thing  nowadays  ?  They  get  up  in  a  meeting  and  try  to 
preach,  and  their  long  talks  kill  the  spirit  of  it.  Paul  told  them, 
in  the  31  st  verse,  they  could  talk  one  by  one.  That  looks  as  if 
there  were  three  or  four  talking  at  once;  and  then  in  the  35th 
verse  we  find:  "And  if  they  will  learn  anything,  let  them  ask 
their  husbands  at  home,  for  it  is  a  shame  for  women  to  speak 
in  the  church."  Can  you  not  see  that  they  were  asking  questions, 
perhaps,  when  Paul  was  preaching?  Anyway  they  had  been  asking 
questions  at  an  inopportune  time.  You  can  see,  by  reading  the 
33d  verse  of  the  same  chapter,  that  this  was  what  they  were  doing, 
and  that  was  why  Paul  said  it  was  a  shame  for  women  to  speak 
in  the  church,  and  so  many  think  from  this  that  woman's  voice 
ought  not  to  be  heard  in  the  meetings  when  God  plainly  said  in 
this  verse  that  he  is  not  the  author  of  confusion,  but  of  peace,  in 
all  churches  of  the  saints.  It  was  because  they  were  causing  con- 
fusion that  Paul  stopped  them.  I  suppose  in  those  days  they  had 
Christian  husbands  who  studied  the  bible,  and  if  a  question  was 
asked  they  could  answer  it,  for  he  expected  they  were  living  up  to 
the  command  not  to  be  unequally  yoked  together  with  unbelievers. 
It  stands  to  reason  that  all  we  need  to  do  is  to  use  common  sense 
with  the  help  of  the  Spirit  in  reading  the  bible.  How  could  a 
woman  ask  the  modern  husband  a  question,  when  half  of  them  have 
never  looked  into  the  bible,  and  know  nothing  about  a  Christian 
life?  The  reason  I  speak  of  this  is  that  there  are  so  many  men 
and  women,  both  in  the  church  and  out,  who  have  said  to  me: 
"Women  should  keep  silent  in  the  church."  There  are  a  good 
many  times  when  it  would  be  best  if  they  would  keep  still  out 
of  the  church,  when  it  is  the  weakness  of  so  many  not  to  keep 
their  tongues  to  themselves.  It  causes  confusion  not  only  in  the 
church  but  at  home,  and  among  their  neighbors.  Then  silence  would 
be  a  blessing  f  for  many  of  the  women  who  are  compared  with  angels 
are  nothing  but  curses.  There  is  nothing  quite  so  bad  as  a  long- 
tongued  woman,  for  verily  she  has  fallen  like  a  fallen  angel. 

When  God  speaks  of  women  obeying  their  husbands,  he  means 
for  them  to  be  in  their  place  in  every  sense  of  the  word ;  mot 
that*  husbands  should  get  between  God  and  their  wives,  or  that 


122  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

wives  should  please  wicked  husbands  by  staying  away  from  church, 
failing  to  do  their  duty  as  Christians  before  God.  I  know  there 
are  selfish  husbands  who  want  all  the  attention  of  their  wives, 
regardless  of  God  or  their  duty  to  their  neighbors,  as  God  has 
said.  In  Eph.  5:32,  Paul  says:  "This  is  a  great  mystery:  but  1 
speak  concerning  Christ  and  the  church."  How  true.  It  is  a 
great  mystery.  God  will  not  reveal  anything  to  those  whose  every 
deed  and  act  does  not  come  from  the  heart.  Your  life  must  be 
lived  in  the  Spirit,  and  willingly,  or  he  will  not  reveal  the  knowl- 
edge of  this  mystery  to  husbands  and  wives,  or  between  husband 
and  wife.  Husband  or  no  husband,  I  do  want  to  have  this  report 
in  the  church  and  before  God.  I  Tim.  5:10:  "Well  reported  of  for 
good  works;  if  she  have  brought  up  children,  if  she  have  lodged 
strangers,  if  she  have  washed  the  saints'  feet,  if  she  have  relieved  the 
afflicted,  if  she  have  diligently  followed  every  good  work."  Oh, 
how  many  women  have  said  to  me:  "Sister  Peterson,  my  husband 
would  never  let  me  do  as  you  do.  He  would  not  stand  it  a  moment." 
I  have  asked  them:  'Do  you  do  your  duty  to  your  husband?" 
"Yes,  I  do."  "And  him  ungodly?"  "Yes,"  "Then  you  have  him 
between  you  and  God.  Now  stop  and  think.  You  do  not  do  any- 
thing in  secret  or  unknown  to  him,  even  in  little  things  concern- 
ing yourself,  whether  it  be  right  or  wrong."  "Oh,  yes,"  they 
say,  "in  little  things  that  do  not  amount  to  anything."  "And  then 
these  things  are  not  to  the  glory  of  God,"  I  •  reply.  These  little 
things  grow,  because  if  they  are  not  to  the  glory  of  God,  they 
are  to  the  glory  of  the  devil,  and  it's  not  long  till  they  grow  big, 
and  then  there  is  trouble,  for  we  grow  better  or  worse  every  day. 
We  do  not  stand  still  in  anything.  In  selfish  little  things  we  use 
our  own  will  too  much.  We  use  it  so  many  times  against  God, 
and  when  we  do  that,  how  much  oftener  will  we  do  the  same 
thing  toward  one  another?  We  should  have  love  enough  to  bear 
with  one  another,  so  long  as  it  is  not  something  that  will  cause 
our  soul  or  the  souls  of  other§  to  be  lost. 

Now  a  word  to  the  husbands :  God  tells  your  wives  to  do 
what  that  woman  did  in  I  Tim.  5:10,  and  if  she  is  not  doing  that 
she  will  do  what  the  woman  did  in  the  I3th  verse.  This  is  it: 
"And  withal  they  learn  to  be  idle,  wandering  about  from  house 
to  house ;  and  not  only  idle,  but  tattlers  also,  and  busybodies,  speak- 
ing things  which  they  ought  not."  So  many  husbands  will  say: 
"She  has  enough  to  do  without  doing  for  others.  Her  place  is  at 
home."  That's  all  right,  if  she  can  do  at  home  what  this  woman 
did  in  the  loth  verse  of  the  chapter.  You  know  if  our  husbands 
did  not  let  us  women  do  what  God  tells  us  to  do,  we  are  apt  to 
do  something  else.  You  know  Eve  was  given  to  Adam  for  a  help- 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  123 

meet,  and  she  had  time  after  doing  her  part  to  get  into  trouble 
some  way,  and  the  most  of  them  can  do  what  this  woman  did  and 
not  leave  their  homes  very  much  either.  In  Titus  2:5,  he  says  to 
be  discreet,  chaste,  keepers  at  home,  good,  obedient  to  their  own  hus- 
bands, that  the  word  of  God  be  not  blasphemed;  and  women  are 
not  doing  as  this  bible  woman  did  surely  if  the  word  of  God  is 
not  regarded  in  her  home.  Why  should  she  be  obedient  to  her 
husband?  For  the  sake  of  the  word  of  God;  not  for  your 
selfish  sake,  or  his.  All  must  be  for  the  glory  of  God.  Paul  knew 
what  he  was  talking  about  when  he  said,  in  I  Tim.  2:12:  "But  I 
suffer  not  a  woman  to  teach,  nor  to  usurp  authority  over  a  man, 
but  to  be  in  silence."  It  is  not  what  you  would  call  a  commandment, 
and  yet  he  says  he  would  not  permit  it.  It  is  bad  when  a  man 
gets  to  a  point  where  a  woman  has  to  tell  him  what  to  do.  I  do 
not  know  what  would  become  of  some  men  if  it  were  not  for  their 
wives'  influence.  I  never  dictate  to  my  husband.  I  let  him  do 
as  he  pleases,  but  when  it  came  to  spiritual  things,  and  the  word 
of  God,  I  have  stood  regardless  of  anything,  when  I  could  almost 
feel  the  earth  tremble  under  my  feet,  but  it  was  never  concerning 
earthly  things.  I  found  it  best  to  do  as  Paul  said,  to  be  in 
silence,  and  go  ahead  and  be  steadfast  and  immovable,  always 
abounding  in  the  work  of  the  Lord.  It  is  not  well  to  use  authority 
on  either  side,  for  it  causes  contention.  Use  gentleness,  and  be 
firm  when  it  comes  to  spiritual  things  or  things  that  are  injuri- 
ous to  one's  self,  and  we  will  come  out  all  right.  Col.  3:18,  says: 
"Wives,  submit  yourselves  unto  your  own  husbands,  as  it  is  fit 
in  the  Lord."  That  is,  you  are  to  please  your  own  husband  as 
far  as  you  can  without  displeasing  the  Lord.  There  are  a  good 
many  husbands  who  do  not  like  to  hear  that  passage  of  scripture. 
One  should  try  in  every  way  to  make  things  pleasant  about  the 
home,  but  no  human  legislation  can  so  guard  this  institution  that 
it  cannot  be  broken  in  spirit,  though  perhaps  acceded  to  in  form. 
There  must  be  true  and  devoted  affection  or  marriage  is  a  farce 
and  a  failure.  Marriage  is  for  the  protection  of  the  individual, 
yet  a  man  and  a  woman  may  be  married  by  law  and  unmarried  in 
spirit.  Why?  Because  they  are  not  in  union  in  the  Spirit.  There 
is  a  division  and  separation  in  feeling.  The  law  may  tie  together, 
and  yet  no  marriage  be  consummated,  for  marriage  is  a  divine  in- 
stitution, and  divinity  means  in  spirit,  and  this  is  what  is  meant 
when  God  says,  "And  whom  God  has  joined  together,  let  no  man 
put  asunder."  A  right  marriage  means  a  right  spirit  of  the  heart, 
and  without  a  heart  right  and  a  right  spirit,  it  literally  profanes 
the  Holy  of  Holies,  and  drags  down  this  heaven-born  institution 
from  its  original,  divine  elevation  to  the  lowest  human  device. 


124  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

Who  will  dare  to  advocate  the  human  institution  of  marriage 
without  the  warm  heart  of  devoted  and  loving  companionship? 
Husband,  express  your  will  not  by  commands,  but  by  suggestions. 
It  is  God's  order  that  you  should  be  the  head  of  the  family.  You 
are  clothed  with  this  authority,  but  this  does  not  authorize  you 
to  be  stern  and  harsh,  as  an  officer  in  the  army.  Your  authority 
is  the  dignity  of  love.  When  it  is  not  clothed  in  love  it  ceases 
to  have  the  substance  '  of  authority.  A  simple  suggestion  may 
embody  a  wish,  but  a  harsh  opinion  or  argument  becomes  not 
the  reign  over  such  a  kingdom  as  yours.  If  two  should  marry 
who  are  only  attached  to  each  other,  not  having  a  real,  deep  love, 
^1  cannot  help  thinking,  if  they  would  get  the  love  of  God,  the 
spiritual  love  of  God  in  both  their  hearts,  each  side  doing  the 
right  thing,  I  jcannot  see  why  they  could  not  get  along  together 
harmoniously. 

CHAPTER  XL 

I  DO  not  remember  how  long  Sister  C —  occupied  the  rooms 
I  rented  her.  I  know  while  she  was  with  me  the  Workers' 
Band  took  a  dislike  to  her,  and  wanted  her  put  out  of 
the  band.  They  thought  she  liked  a  young  man  too  well  who 
belonged  to  the  band,  and  they  wanted  me  to  put  him  out  too. 
I  could  see  nothing  wrong  about  it,  and  would  not  consent  to  it. 
Thus  the  thing  was  settled  and  the  work  went  on  all  right. 
We  held  meetings  in  hospitals  and  jails,  and  all  parts  of  the 
city.  The  Lord  blessed  us  in  reaping  in  the  souls.  There  were 
fifteen  in  the  band  at  this  time.  We  went  to  see  the  sick  and  dying, 
the  poor  and  distressed,  in  all  parts  of  the  city.  One  morning  in 
March  I  was  sent  for  before  breakfast  to  see  a  little  child  fourteen 
months  old.  The  little  fellow  had  membraneous  croup,  and  the 
doctor  said  he  could  not  live,  and  that  he  had  done  all  he  could 
for  the  child.  As  I  went  into  the  gate  the  doctor  was  untying 
his  horse  to  go  away.  The  room  was  filled  with  neighbors,  all 
standing  around  the  crib  of  the  child,  thinking  every  breath  would 
be  the  last.  Mrs.  L —  had  lost  two  children  a  few  months  before 
with  scarlet  fever.  She  had  not  recovered  from  the  loss,  and  now 
she  thought  the  last  was  going.  As  I  entered  the  room  she  rushed 
toward  me  and  took  hold  of  my  arm,  earnestly,  her  eyes  look- 
ing wild  and  strange.  I  can't  tell  you  my  feelings  as  I  looked  into 
that  anxious  mother's  face,  as  pale  as  death  and  her  lips  ghastly. 
In  some  way  she  got  the  idea  that  I  ought  to  know  if  her  child 
was  going  to  die.  I  do  not  know  why  she  should  think  I  could  do 
anything  for  it.  She  said,  as  she  grasped  my  arm:  "O,  Mrs. 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  12$ 

Peterson,  do  tell  me,  for  God's  sake,  is  my  child  going  to  die.  Oh, 
is  he  going  to  take  the  last  one  I've  got."  With  her  pale,  pleading 
face  she  implored  me  to  help  her,  but  what  could  I  do  for  that 
dear  mother?  I  tell  you,  my  dear  reader,  if  ever  my  heart  went 
to  God  it  was  for  her,  as  she  stood  there  holding  my  arm,  waiting 
for  me  to  answer.  I  said:  "O,  Lord,  what  can  I  do?"  I  stepped 
around  her  and  started  toward  the  crib,  for  the  child  was  fighting 
for  its  breath.  It  seemed  to  me  she  could  not  bear  anything 
more,  and  yet  what  could  I  say  to  her  when  she  continued  to 
ask  me  if  she  was  going  to  lose  her  boy.  It  seemed  all  within  me, 
every  faculty  of  my  whole  being,  went  out  to  God,  and  these 
are  the  words  I  said  as  I  was  crossing  the  floor:  "Lord,  take  my 
child,  but  save  this  mother's  boy."  As  I  stooped  over  the  crib 
something  came  to  my  heart  as  plain  as  words:  "The  child  shall 
live."  Instantly  I  said  to  Mrs.  L — :  "Your  boy  is  going  to  live." 
Her  grip  was  tighter  on  my  arm  as  she  exclaimed:  "O,  Mrs. 
Peterson,  do  not  tell  me  my  boy  is  going  to  live  and  then  have 
him  die!  Oh,  no;  do  not  dare  to  do  a  thing  like  that!"  I  knew 
the  feeling  that  had  come  to  my  heart  was  right.  I  had  never 
been  misled  all  these  five  years,  and  again  I  said:  "Mrs.  L — , 
your  child  shall  live."  It  seemed  my  heart  was  filled  with  those 
four  words.  Those  who  were  in  the  room  were  almost  strangers 
to  me,  and  they  looked  at  me  as  if  I  were  out  of  my  mind.  This 
was  early  in  the  morning,  and  I  also  had  a  call  from  North  Denver 
to  see  a  sick  woman.  I  sat  there  awhile,  and  then  I  told  Mrs. 
L —  I  must  go.  I  could  see  no  change  as  yet  in  the  child.  All  I 
knew  was  the  strong  feeling  in  my  heart  that  the  child  would  live. 
She  asked  me  again,  and  I  told  her  the  same  thing  and  went  home. 
After  hurriedly  doing  up  the  morning's  work  I  dressed  and 
went  to  see  the  sick  woman.  It  was  March.  The  wind  was  blowing 
and  it  was  snowing.  I  promised  Mrs.  L —  I  would  come  back  as 
soon  as  I  returned.  It  was  I  o'clock  in  the  afternoon  as  I  went 
in.  I  could  not  see  that  the  child  was  any  better.  I  was  a  little 
surprised,  and  Mrs.  1^-  said:  "Mrs.  Peterson,  do  you  see  the 
child  is  no  better."  I  said:  "Yes,  I  see."  All  day  I  had  lifted 
my  heart  to  God  for  the  child,  and  while  I  was  standing  by  the 
crib  I  felt  a  doubtful  feeling  come  over  me.  In  a  moment  I  was 
condemned.  Did  you  ever  do  anything  and  feel  as  though  you 
ought  not  do  it?  Well,  that  is  the  way  I  felt  the  moment  I  felt 
that  little  doubt,  and  I  was  condemed  for  it  as  though  I  had  sworn, 
or  lied,  and  I  asked  God  to  forgive  me,  for  I  knew  he  had  told  me. 
I  said:  "Lord,  I  did  not  doubt  the  feeling  in  my  heart^this  morning. 
I  know  you  gave  me  these  words.  Now,  Lord,  forgive  me,  and  I 
will  not  doubt  again.  O,  Lord,  help  me  and  I  will  never  again 


126  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

doubt  you."  Just  then  Mrs.  L — said:  "Mrs.  Peterson,  you  know 
what  you  said  this  morning,  and  I  did  try  so  hard  to  depend  on 
what  you  said;  but  you  see  he  is  no  better.  At  4  o'clock  he  will 
begin  to  get  worse,  and  he  is  so  weak  I  know  he  can  never  live." 
After  I  asked  God's  forgiveness  for  doubting  him,  the  same  feeling 
filled  my  heart  that  I  had  that  morning,  and  I  said :  "Mrs.  L — , 
I  can't  help  believing  that  your  child  will  live."  Then  she  asked 
me  when  the  Lord  was  going  to  help  the  baby.  I  told  her  I  did 
not  know ;  that  all  I  knew  was  that  the  child  would  live,  and  I 
told  her  I  would  believe  it  and  not  doubt  again.  As  we  sat  by 
the  little  darling,  and  saw  him  fighting  for  breath,  I  would  keep 
reminding  the  Lord  of  how  willing  I  was  to  sacrifice  my  own 
child  for  this  suffering  mother.  It  was  now  3  o'clock.  I  knew 
I  would  soon  have  to  go  and  get  Mr.  Peterson's  supper,  for  he 
was  still  working  nights.  As  we  watched  over  the  child  I  was 
praying  constantly,  and  in  the  place  of  the  child  growing  worse 
toward  evening  his  breathing  seemed  to  get  easier,  and  before 
4  o'clock  he  was  sound  asleep  and  resting  easy.  If  you  could 
only  have  seen  that  happy  mother's  face.  She  wept  with  joy, 
hardly  able  to  believe  her  own  eyes  as  her  little  darling  lay  sleeping 
so  sweetly. 

On  my  way  home  I  said:  "Lord,  how  did  I  ever  say  I  was 
willing  for  you  to  take  my  child?  That  was  not  natural  for  a 
mother."  I  knew  it  was  the  spirit  of  the  Lord  that  prompted 
me  to  say  it.  I  knew  I  could  not  have  said  it  on  my  own  strength, 
but  God  knows  I  meant  it,  and  he  heard  my  prayer.  The  next 
morning  when  I  went  in  the  mother  was  feeding  the  baby,  and  I 
know  I  never  saw  a  happier  father  and  mother  in  all  my  life. 
The  following  May  they  sold  their  rfome-  and  went  back  to  Penn- 
sylvania. The  father  did  not  go  till  fall.  That  July  the  baby  took 
sick  with  cholera  infantum.  The  mother  sent  a  telegram  to  Mr. 
'  L —  telling  him  the  baby  was  not  expected  to  live.  The  first  thing 
he  did  was  to  come  up  to  see  me,  and  with  tears  in  his  eyes  he 
told  me  the  baby  was  dying.  I  said:  "Mr.  L — ,  do  not  trouble 
yourself  about  that  boy.  The  Lord  did  not  spare  him  five  months 
ago  to  take  him  now."  "Do  you  believe  that,  Mrs.  Peterson?"  he 
said;  and  I  said:  "Yes,  Mr.  L— ,  I  do."  "Well,"  he  said,  "it  is 
all  right.  I  will  depend  upon  your  faith."  It  was  only  a  few 
hours  when  Mr.  L —  received  another  telegram  that  the  boy  was 
better.  As  soon  as  he  received  the  telegram  he  came  and  told 
me.  I  told  him  to  thank  God  for  all  that  had  been  done.  It 
was  him  and  him  alone  we  had  to  thank  for  the  life  of  the  boy. 
Mrs.  L —  was  a  Lutheran  and  the  father  was  a  Catholic.  He  believed 
,there  were  Christians  outside  of  his  church.  The  last  word  I  heard 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  I2/ 

of  the  boy  he  was  doing  well.  That  was  the  first  time  the  Lord 
ever  blessed  me  for  healing  anyone.  The  Workers*  Band  worked 
all  day  Sunday.  After  the  morning  services  we  held  meetings  at 
the  jail  from  2  to  3.  From  there  we  went  to  the  County  hospital 
for  an  hour.  When  we  got  back  from  the  hospital  it  would  be 
nearly  5  o'clock.  From  that  till  church  time  we  made  sick  calls. 
We  took  our  suppers  at  a  restaurant.  One  Sunday  afternoon  we 
were  told  of  a  sick  woman  who  lived  in  a  tent  on  the  banks  of 
the  mill  ditch.  Someone  had  found  a  little  two-week-old  baby  that 
had  died  that  morning,  and  the  mother  was  still  in  bed.  She 
said  the  baby  had  just  died  and  none  of  the  neighbors  knew  of  it. 
The  undertaker  was  notified.  There  was  no  number  or  street.  The 
only  way  we  could  find  the  place  was  to  follow  the  mill  ditch 
till  we  came  to  the  tent.  The  weeds  and  the  sunflowers  were  so 
high  that  we  were  within  a  few  rods  of  the  tent  before  we  saw 
it.  There  lay  the  sick  mother,  with  a  little  boy  three  years  old. 
The  little  tent  was  large  enough  for  a  bed  in  one  corner.  In 
another  corner  was  a  stove,  in  another  the  table,  and  at  the  foot 
of  the  bed  was  a  drygoods  box  for  a  cupboard,  with  a  few  dishes 
in  it.  She  was  so  glad  to  see  us.  We  asked  her  where  her  hus- 
band was,  and  she  said  she  did  not  know,  but  thought  he  would 
soon  be  home.  She  said  the  doctor  who  was  attending  her  would 
be  in  at  7  that  evening,  so  I  told  her  some  of  us  would  stay.  I 
staid  that  night.  The  doctor  came  at  7,  a  kind,  good-hearted 
fellow.  He  said  he  was  afraid  she  would  not  live.  He  told  me 
how  her  husband  drank.  I  then  knew  why  the  home  was  in 
such  a  state.  About  9  o'clock  he  came  in,  under  the  influence  of 
liquor.  He  did  not  know  the  baby  was  dead,  and  was  too  intox- 
icated to  realize  it.  He  lay  on  the  back  of  the  bed  and  slept  all 
night,  while  I  sat  by  her  bed  and. gave  her  medicine.  The  Workers' 
Band  took  turns  in  sitting  up  nights  for  two  weeks,  then  the  mother 
died.  The  little  baby's  grave  was  opened  and  the  two  were  laid 
away  together.  The  father  took  the  little  boy  back  to  her  people. 
I  could  not  help  thanking  God  for  his  goodness  in  taking  that 
starved,  heart-broken  mother  home  away  from  the  drunken  hus- 
band. She  was  fully  trusting  the  Lord.  Two  days  and  two  nights 
before  she.  died  she  knew  she  was  going  to  die.  She  told  us  to  put 
away  her  clothes,  which  she  would  never  wear  again.  The  last 
night  she  was  on  this  earth  the  lady  who  was  stopping  with  me  sat 
up  with  her.  I  went  over  the  next  morning  about  10  o'clock,  and 
the  dying  woman  was  so  happy.  Her  face,  though  pale  with  death, 
shone  with  the  hope  of  glory.  The  moment  I  stepped  into  the 
tent  she  put  out  her  thin  hand  and,  with  a  bright  smile,  said: 
"Sister  Peterson,  Jesus  is  coming  for  me  to-night."  She  had 


128  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

been  telling  us  for  two  days  that  she  was  going.  She  said :  "Do 
you  want  to  know  the  hour  he  is  coming?"  I  said  "yes,"  not  think- 
ing she  could  name  the  hour.  "He  is  coming  for  me  at  n  o'clock 
to-night,"  she  said.  I  wondered  if  we  could  depend  on  that  hour, 
or  if  she  was  mistaken.  I  went  back  home  toward  evening.  Sister 
T —  took  care  of  my  child,  and  I  went  down  and  staid  till  the 
Lord  took  her.  At  10  she  asked  us  if  we  would  bring  the  clock 
where  she  could  see  it.  She  was  conscious  till  the  last  moment. 
About  10:45  she  bade  us  all  good-bye.  A  few  minutes  before 
this  she  kissed  her  baby  boy,  and  asked  God  to  bless  him. 
She  bade  her  husband  good-bye,  and  told  him  to  give  his  heart 
to  God.  Five  minutes  before  n  every  one  of  us  was  watching 
the  clock.  There  was  a  sweet  smile  upon  her  face,  and  true  to 
her  words,  three  minutes  before  n,  in  the  faintest  kind  of  a 
whisper,  "He's  coming,"  she  said,  and  to  a  second,  as  the  hand 
came  to  n,  her  spirit  went  to  God  who  gave  it.  And  I  asked: 
"Who  can  doubt  hereafter?"  Surely  Jesus  was  there,  for  the 
expression  on  her  face  showed  that  she  was  living  this  passage  of 
scripture,  and  I  knew  if  she  could  have  told  us  she  would  have 
said :  "O  death,  where  is  thy  sting  ?  O  grave,  where  is  thy  victory  ?" 
(I  Cor.  15:55.)  I  could  not  help  thinking  of  his  promise:  "I 
will  be  with  you  through  the  valley  and  shadow  of  death."  (Ps. 
23:4.)  It  did  not  seem  to  be  even  a  shadow  to  her. 

Such  experiences  give  me  a  desire  to  see  the  whole  world 
ready  to  go  as  this  poor  woman  did.  Only  a  miserable  bed  and  a 
little  tent  to  die  in,  with  hardly  room  enough  to  turn  around,  and 
weeds  almost  covering  the  tent,  yet  the  dear  Lord  found  his  way 
there,  and  »came  and  took  her  from  a  tent  to  a  mansion!  I  would 
be  willing  to  die  in  a  tent  or  a  cottage,  or  even  with  the  canopy 
of  heaven  as  a  covering,  if  I  could  die  as  did  she — poor  in  this 
world's  goods,  but  rich  in  faith.  The  Tabernacle  was  never  known 
to  be  more  spiritual  than  it  was  at  that  time.  The  Workers'  Band 
gave  a  Sunday  evening  tea.  So  many  young  people,  strangers  in 
the  city,  would  come  down ;  then  we  would  invite  them  to  the 
young  converts'  meeting  before  the  services.  The  Tabernacle  was 
giving  a  Sunday  morning  breakfast  of  pork  and  beans  and  bread 
and  butter  and,  coffee,  and  those  who  had  no  place  to  sleep  or 
anything  to  eat  could  get  their  breakfast.  After  breakfast  we  would 
turn  the  breakfast  into  a  forty-minutes'  prayer  meeting,  and  get 
them  to  come  up  to  the  10  o'clock  class  meeting.  We  had  the 
breakfast  in  the  basement  of  the  church,  and  many  of  these  men 
were  converted.  At  this  time  a  newspaper  writer  attended  and 
wrote  up  the  meetings.  From  the  article,  written  by  Alex  Mc- 
Dougal,  and  published  in  a  Denver  paper,  I  quote  the  following: 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  I2Q 

"One  Sunday  evening  I  wandered  around  and  finally  drifted 
into  the  Tabernacle,  where  I  heard  an  interesting  discourse  by 
your  eloquent  townsman,  Rev.  Thomas  Uzzell.  The  artful  dodger 
that  attracted  the  crowd  bore  the  pithy  legend,  'Success,  and  how 
to  get  there/  and  as  I  am  not  here  for  my  health,  with  small 
persuasion  I  agreed  to  follow  the  vast  throng  to  learn  the  earliest 
and  quickest  route  to  an  earthly  kingdom.  The  reverend  preacher 
took  for  his  text  the  familiar  words,  'She  hath  Done  What  She 
Could/  and  launched  out  into  an  impressive  and  helpful  sermon. 
While  he  acknowledged  that  vice  was  punished  and  virtue  re- 
warded, that  perseverance  and  industry  will  be  repaid,  still  he 
upheld  the  power  of  circumstances  and  environments,  and  empha- 
sized the  'future  that  favors  the  brave'  and  sublime  luck  of  those 
whose  'greatness  are  thrust  upon  them/  He  earnestly  entreated 
all  to  follow  the  example  of  the  subject  of  his  text,  and  deprecated 
the  loafer  who  sits  around  on  beer  kegs  and  carves  his  immortal 
initials  on  a  drygoods  box,  lazily  sunning  himself  and  reclining  in 
unpardonable  indolence.  Parson  Uzzell  has  a  good  deal  of  force, 
and  his  speaking  top-note  is  the  most  telling  in  the  city,  but  he  is 
probably  not  much  of  a  literati  or  theologian.  He  is  not  apt  in 
quotation,  nor  does  he  seem  to  have  too  much  scripture  at  hand 
when  extemporizing.  He  rarely  gives  a  doctrinal  sermon.  He 
seldom  meddles  with  the  grander  Pauline  themes,  such  as  the 
Fatherhood  of  God  and  the  brotherhood  of  man.  Sermons  on  the 
plan  of  salvation  are  few  and  far  between,  and  the  higher  criti- 
cism he  lets  severely  alone.  His  church  is  frequently  reinforced 
and  augmented  by  periodic  seasons  of  revival  by  noted  evangel- 
ists. For  instance,  Mrs.  Robinson  has  recently  handed  over  to 
his  care  as  a  'nursing  father*  not  less  than  forty  converts.  If 
these  were  brought  up  in  the  nature  and  admonition  of  the  gospel 
and  made  bible  students,  feeding  on  the  sincere  milk  of  the  word, 
they  are,  in  themselves  alone,  sufficient  to  leaven  a  greater  lump 
and  a  larger  community  than  worship  in  the  Tabernacle;  and  here 
is  where  the  danger  comes  in  if  the  people  are  not  fed  by  the 
consecutive  and  systematic  ministry.  Every  new-fangled  'spouter' 
takes  possession  of  the  Tabernacle  rostrum  and  ventilates  his  own 
ideas  to  the  detriment  of  those  who  are  desirous  of  being  built  up 
in  a  holy  faith.  The  Tabernacle  is  equipped  with  a  large  and 
efficient  staff  of  workers,  who  do  not  care  a  straw  if  Tom  gets  all 
the  glory  so  long  as  they  are  permitted  to  serve  or  stand  and  wait. 
They  will  get  their  crown  on  a  day  that  is  coming.  It  is  not  a  far- 
fetched assumption  that  the  pastor  of  the  Tabernacle  has  a  fair 
average  opinion  of  Thomas  Uzzell ;  and  why  not,  if  the  opinion  be 
founded  on  integrity?  Every  citizen  in  Denver  knows  him  as  an 


130  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

indefatigable  worker,  'in  season  and  out  of  season.'  He  is  also 
widely  known  for  his  tact  in  dealing  with  the  distressed.  He  is 
the  Prince  of  Solicitors,  and  his  sound  has  gone  out  from  the 
plebeian  bottoms  to  the  blue-bloods  of  Capitol  hill.  He  has  carte 
blanche  for  all.  He  enters  a  furniture  store  and  says,  'I  want  chairs 
for  the  kindergarten/  and  lo!  the  drayman  is  unloading  at  the 
back  lane  of  the  Tabernacle  in  less  than  an  hour.  He  wants  over- 
coats for  the  poor  boys  out  of  work,  and  the  dudes  have  to  strip, 
and  straightway  go  to  Knight  &  Atmore's  for  new  toggery.  Yes, 
Tom  is  a  worker,  and  he  admirably  fills  the  bill;  and  as  we  said  of 
old,  the  common  people  hear  him  gladly.  One  Sunday  evening  he 
gave  out  what  he  would  like  to  have  put  on  his  tombstone  at 
Riverside  when  he  shall  have  been  taken  to  rest: 

"'Here  lies  Thomas  Uzzell; 
He  did  his  dead  level  best.' 

"Now,  though  the  inscription  is  forcible  enough,  it  is  incomplete. 
The  future  New  Zealander  who  is  in  view  of  the  ruins  of  St. 
Paul's  from  the  broken  arches  of  London  bridge  will  be  attracted 
westward  to  Colorado  through  the  fame  of  her  great  mines  and 
her  industrial  prosperity.  While  taking  in  the  sights  he  will 
cautiously  glance  at  Thomas'  tombstone  and  ask  himself  the  ques- 
tion :  'Well,  what  did  he  do  his  level  best  on  ?  Was  he  a  doctor,  or 
a  chimney  sweep?'  The  Tabernacle  Deaconry  will  see  to  the  dates 
and  location  when  the  time  comes.  May  that  date  be  far,  far  in 
the  future.  I  lost  a  great  deal  of  the  sermon  through  epitaphical 
musings.  Burns  also  wrote  his  own  epitah,  and  it  is  a  beauty, 
you  remember: 

"  'The  poor  inhabitant  below 

Was  quick  to  learn  and  wise  to  know, 
But  thoughtless  follies  laid  him  low, 
And  stained  his  name.' 

"Etc.,  etc.,  etc.  A  few  feet  to  my  right  sat  an  estimable  lady 
in  the  prime  of  early  womanhood,  with,  perhaps,  the  dignity  of 
'olive  branches  twice  upon  her.'  I  once  heard  her  speak;  pray 
and  exhort,  and  greatly  admired  her  talent  and  her  devotion.  All 
through  the  sermon  her  fine  face  seemed  so  sensitive  and  mobile, 
and  so  quickly  responded  to  every  phase  of  fear  and  snare  spoken 
of  by  the  preacher;  and  anon  when  a  hopeful  sentence  was 
uttered  her  countenance  would  brighten  up  into  a  glow  of  what 
would  seem  seraphic  transfiguration.  I  thought  that  she  also 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  131 

would  be  worthy  of  a  marble  slab  at  Riverside,  whereon  I  should 
like  to  write: 

"Sacred   to  the  memory  of  Mrs.   Peterson. 
"She  was  a  lady  in  her  own  right.    She  was  a 
Christian   by   divine  grace;   and  with   love   in   her 
heart  and  charity  in  her  hand  she  did  what  she  could. 

"The  careful  reader  will  observe  that  I  have  studiously  re- 
frained from  saying  whether  our  devoted  sister's  scene  of  labor  lay 
in  the  same  vineyard  with  Tom's.  This  is  sly;  yes,  'devilish  sly,' 
as  Shakespeare  grandly  says,  but  it  is  also  well  and  wise,  for  it 
prevents  the  future  tattlers  of  the  Tabernacle  from  falling  into 
vain  disputations  by  again  springing,  the  old,  vexed  question :  'Who 
is  the  greatest  in  the  Kingdom  of  Heaven?' 

"I  said  that  the  Tabernacle  was  well  mounted  by  a  corps  of 
effective  workers,  among  which  the  choir  is  worthy  of  honorable 
mention.  The  cornetist  is  especially  fine.  His  lips  are  firm  and 
his  fingers  quick  and  sure.  His  intonation  is  always  perfect  and 
his  time  relative  and  steady;  in  a  word,  he  reads  his  music  admir- 
ably, and  leads  with  remarkable  power  and  clear  precision.  The 
ladies  are  not  only  sweet-voiced,  but  handsome.  The  dignified  but 
unostentatious  bearing  commands  respect,  and  the  entire  absence  of 
common  frivolities  of  choirs,  such  as  flirting,  eye-twinkling  and  gum- 
chewing,  lend  a  tone  becoming  those  upon  whom  has  fallen  the 
mantle  of  the  'Crowned  Minstrel  of  Israel/  " 

CHAPTER  XII. 
"THE  FRIENDLY  SHELTER. 

"When  a  News  reporter  called,  about  10:30  p.  m.,  a 
religious  meeting  was  being  held  by  the  Workers'  Band 
of  the  Tabernacle  congregation.  Ladies  and  gentlemen 
were  grouped  around  the  table,  kneeling  on  the  bare 
floor,  praying  for  the  eternal  welfare  of  the  souls  of  the 
poor,  down-trodden  men  surrounding  them.  A  few,  who 
had  evidently  drunk  their  fill  of  sin  and  misery,  listened 
eagerly  to  the  impassioned  prayers  of  the  earnest  women, 
and  joined  in  the  singing  of  hymns;  but  the  majority  stood 
listlessly  on  the  outside  of  the  worshipers,  or  lay  down  by 
the  walls,  evidently  thinking  that  religion  was  not  for  them, 
as  it  did  not  fill  their  empty  stomachs.  After  singing  and 
praying,  a  bright  little  lady  in  black  cloth  jacket  mounted 


132  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

a  stool  and  told  the  boys  how  sorry  she  was  that  her  purse 
was  not  large  enough  to  provide  all  of  them  with  a  good, 
square  meal." — Rocky  Mountain  News. 

I  WAS  the  little  lady  who  mounted  the  stool.  There  were  from 
two  to  four  hundred  men  in  the  Friendly  Shelter.  It  was 

just  before  the  panic  of  '93  in  Denver,  when  so  many  of  the 
banks  failed.  You  £an  see  it  was  impossible  for  me  to  feed  that 
large  number  without  a  very  large  bank  account.  No  one  could 
ask  a  greater  blessing  than  I  received  in  doing  this  kind  of  work. 
In  three  years  the  devil  did  not  give  me  any  trouble,  after  I  had 
gotten  the  victory  I  have  already  told  you  of.  The  hindrances  I 
encountered  seemed  as  nothing  to  me.  The  worst  drawback  was 
my  sick  child.  In  those  three  years  I  cannot  recall  a  serious  tempta- 
tion; but  the  time  did  come  when  he  came  after  me  without  gloves, 
and  I  tell  you  he  handled  me  pretty  roughly.  He  tried  to  make 
up  for  lost  time.  I  must  tell  you  about  it.  Paul  said,  in  II  Cor. 
i  :8 :  "For  we  would  not,  brethren,  have  you  ignorant  of  our  trouble 
which  came  to  us  in  Asia,  that  we  were  pressed  out  of  measure, 
above  strength,  insomuch  that  we  despaired  even  of  life."  So 
many  people  have  said  to  me:  "Sister  Peterson,  if  I  had  no  more 
to  trouble  me  than  you  have,  I  could  be  a  better  Christian;  there 
would  be  nothing  to  hinder  me  then."  Oh,  how  little  did  they 
know  what  I  had  gone  through,  and  I  was  going  through  at  the 
time!  I  did  have  a  happy  religion,  and  would  not  rest  till  I  got 
where  I  could  be  happy  in  times  of  trouble  as  well  as  in  times 
of  peace.  I  was  three  years  finding  a  religion  that  would  give 
me  joy  at  all  times.  The  devil  saw  that  I  had  had  a  good  time 
long  enough,  and  the  Workers'  Band  was  having  too  much  victory 
to  suit  him,  and  so  he  interfered.  He  did  once  before,  but  it  did 
no  harm.  The  devil  will  go  if  you  resist  him,  but  the  trouble  is 
he  will  return  again. 

The  Workers'  Band  was  holding  cottage  prayer  meetings  and 
the  Lord  wonderfully  blessed  their  labor.  The  first  time  Satan 
showed  his  cloven  foot  was  in  one  of  the  cottage  prayer  meetings. 
I  shall  never  forget  the  meeting.  It  was  the  night  before  Christmas. 
The  Sunday-school  teachers  were  to  meet  at  the  Tabernacle  to  get 
the  money  to  buy  presents  for  their  classes,  and  being  a  teacher, 
I  went.  I  thought  at  first  I  would  not  go  to  the  cottage  prayer 
meeting.  It  would  be  late  when  I  arrived,  it  being  nearly  9  when 
I  left  the  Tabernacle.  I  always  walked  home  if  the  weather  was 
nice,  and  the  cottage  prayer  meeting  was  only  two  blocks  out  of 
my  way,  so  when  I  got  to  Twenty-first  street  I  went  up  to  Arapa- 
hoe.  The  meeting  was  in  a  brick  house,  between  Arapahoe  and 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  133 

Curtis  streets.  I  never  pass  there  but  I  think  of  that  meeting.  It 
was  fourteen  years  ago.  I  went  in.  The  room  was  full.  They  were 
having  their  after-meeting,  praying  for  two  old  gentlemen  who 
were  present.  I  was  not  in  the  room  five  minutes  when  the  Lord 
led  me  to  see  plainly  that  it  was  not  what  he  wanted,  and  I 
said:  "Brother  C — ,  that  is  not  what  the  Lord  wants."  Brother 
C —  was  a  good  man,  and  a  Christian.  He  answered:  "Sister 
Peterson,  what  is  it  the  Lord  does  want?"  As  I  rose  to  my 
feet,  the  power  of  the  Spirit  came  over  me  and  filled  my  soul. 
I  did  not  know  what  I  was  going  to  say,  except  as  the  words 
came  to  me.  What  I  saw  and  felt  I  want  you  to  believe,  for  what 
object  could  I  have  in  writing  as  I  am  if  it  were  not  true,  when  it 
could  not  benefit  me?  Now,  believe  me,  and  I  will  prove  to  you 
out  of  God's  word  that  we  are  to  have  the  same  gifts  they  had 
in  times  of  old.  The  thoughts  came  like  this:  "Brother  C — ,  the 
Lord  wants  the  temple  clean."  Then  I  went  on  to  tell  them  how 
the  Lord  had  tested  me,  and  what  I  had  suffered.  Then  the  Lord 
showed  me  the  condition  of  the  two  old  gentlemen  they  were  pray- 
ing for.  I  could  feel  in  my  Spirit  there  was  a  cold  wave  laid 
all  around  the  two  men.  I  said  to  them:  "You  are  not  willing 
to-night  that  God  should  save  you."  And  they  answered :  "Not 
to-night."  I  knew  it  was  their  will  resisting  the  Spirit.  When 
I  said,  "the  Lord  wants  the  temple  clean,"  Brother  C —  said:  "Let 
us  pray."  We  knelt,  and  while  we  prayed  the  Holy  Spirit  came 
down,  and  Brother  D —  was  the  first  one  to  receive  the  blessing. 
He  always  was  a  still  Christian,  and  had  little  to  say.  He  was 
not  very  still  that  night.  He  started  across  the  room  clapping 
his  hands,  saying,  "Glory!  glory!"  and  "bless  the  Lord  forever!" 
Then  he  would  try  to  assure  us  that  he  was  not  excited.  I  knew 
he  was  not,  for  there  was  nothing  to  excite  him.  I  knew  it  was 
the  Holy  Ghost.  Sister  C —  was  the  next  to  receive  the  blessing. 
When  I  began  to  pray  the  Lord  showed  me  there  were  others  in 
the  house  he  wished  to  bless.  As  we  all  rose  to  our  feet,  I  said: 
"There  are  some  leaving  the  house  whom  the  Lord  wishes  to  bless." 
As  I  spoke  I  saw  something  wonderful,  as  plainly  as  I  ever  saw 
anything  in  my  life.  The  sister  who  was  stopping  with  me  had 
gone  out  into  the  kitchen  and  was  standing  in  the  middle  of  the 
floor.  I  was  where  I  could  see  into  the  kitchen,  for  I  was  right 
by  the  door,  and  a  light  gray  mist,  as  fine  as  the  finest  network, 
covered  her,  and  lay  in  little  folds.  In  a  moment  it  vanished  into 
her,  and  distinctly  the  words  came  to  me:  "It  is  the  devil  enter- 
ing her."  I  told  them  what  I  saw,  but  I  did  not  tell  them  whom 
it  entered.  Again  I  exhorted  those  to  receive  the  Spirit  whom 
the  Lord  wished  to  give  it  to.  I  told  them  the  Lord  had  not 


134  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

shown  me  who  it  was,  but  I  knew  it  was  more  than  one.  The 
next  thing  I  saw  was  my  own  spirit  on  the  ceiling  of  the  room. 
It  was  as  large  as  your  two  hands  together,  and  the  same  shape, 
with  the  points  of  the  fingers  up  next  to  the  ceiling.  Just  as  you 
would  see  a  fly  bumping  his  head  against  the  ceiling  here  and 
there,  so  was  my  spirit.  When  I  saw  it  I  sat  down  in  the  chair, 
and  they  could  hear  me  yell  for  two  blocks.  And  all  the  time 
I  was  shouting  I  saw  my  spirit  coming  back  into  my  body.  The 
feeling  was  like  this :  You  know  how  a  man  will  take  hold  of 
the  lugs  of  his  boot  to  pull  it  on.  Well,  that  is  the  way  my  spirit 
felt  when  it  came  down  into  my  body.  I  felt  my  spirit  fit  down 
into  my  very  toes  and  fingers,  just  as  a  man  would  feel  his  foot 
fit  down  into  his  boot.  Strange  as  this  may  seem  to  some,  as  truly 
as  I  will  stand  before  the  throne  of  God  to  be  judged,  just  so 
true  is  this  story.  I  was  so  weak  I  could  not  hold  my  head  up 
when  my  spirit  came  back.  Then  they  thought  I  was  dying. 
They  put  me  on  the  lounge,  and  put  the  window  up  to  give  me 
air,  and  Brother  B —  took  his  watch  out  and  counted  my  pulse. 
Sister  E — -  got  down  by  my  side  and  said:  "Oh,  Sister  Peterson, 
do  not  go  and  leave  us  yet."  I  knew  everything,  but  could  not 
speak  for  a  few  minutes;  then  I  sat  up  on  the  lounge,  and  after 
a  while  I  took  a  hard  chill.  It  soon  passed  away;  then  they  gave 
me  a  glass  of  water  and  I  told  them  I  was  all  right. 

Brother  B —  and  the  sister  who  was  stopping  at  the  house  came 
home  with  me.  We  bade  Brother  B —  good-night  at  the  gate.  As 
Sister  T —  stood  at  the  foot  of  the  stairs  ready  to  go  up,  the  Lord 
filled  my  heart  with  such  love  that  I  could  not  let  her  go  till  I 
took  her  in  my  arms  and  told  her  how  God  had  filled  my  heart 
with  love  for  her.  Then  I  asked  her  how  she  felt  as  she  stood 
in  the  middle  of  the  kitchen  floor  at  the  prayer  meeting?  She 
began  to  cry,  and  said :  "If  I  could  have  gotten  out  of  that  meeting 
without  disturbing  it  I  would  have  gone  home."  I  asked  her 
why.  "I  did  not  like  the  meeting,"  she  answered,  "and  I  do  not 
know  why."  I  knew  the  devil  had  entered  her,  but  little  did  I 
know  what  for.  It  was  to  break  up  the  Workers'  Band.  I  thought 
it  strange  that  I  was  led  to  love  her  that  evening.  I  knew  the 
evil  spirit  had  entered  her,  for  I  saw  him  with  my  own  eyes.  I 
did  not  understand  it.  I  did  not  know  at  the  time  that  she  had 
been  talking  about  me,  but  she  had  for  a  week.  She  had  been 
talking  about  Sister  C — ,  the  sister  who  had  lived  in  my  house 
before  she  came.  One  morning  she  was  talking  about  her,  and 
I  thought  it  very  unjust  and  wrong.  I  could  not  believe  a  worldly 
woman  could  be  guilty  of  what  Sister  T —  thought  Sister  C — 
guilty  of.  She  only  said  she  looked  like  that  kind  of  woman,  and 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  135 

she  believed  she  was.  There  was  something  wrong  with  every 
man  or  woman  who  came  to  the  house.  I  knew  she  was  offending 
God,  so  I  said:  "Sister /T — ,  do  you  know  it  is  wrong  to  speak 
evil  of  anyone?  You  know  God  says,  'speak  evil  of  no  man/  and 
I  wish  while  you  are  here  you  would  not."  She  did  not  reply,  but 
went  upstairs.  She  would  speak  to  me,  yet  she  was  angry  with 
me.  It  was  because  of  this  the  evil  spirit  entered  her,  as  I  found 
out  afterwards.  In  the  next  three  days  I  was  told  everything  she 
said.  She  had  told  some  of  the  band  that  she  would  down  me  in 
the  Tabernacle.  I  said :  "Let  her  go  ahead.  I  have  done  nothing." 
She  went  upstairs  at  the  time.  Afterwards  she  came  downstairs 
and  said :  "You  want  me  to  go  ahead,  do  you  ?"  I  replied :  "Sister 
T — ,  you  know  I  have  done  you  no  wrong.  All  I  did  was  to  ask 
you  to  stop  speaking  evil  of  people."  "Yes,"  she  said,  "you  tell 
me  what  to  do !  Me,  a  woman  old  enough  to  be  your  mother,  and 
you  stand  here  and  tell  me  what  to  do?"  As  she  said  this  she 
came  over  to  where  I  was  and  shook  her  fist  in  my  face,  saying: 
"I  will  down  you  if  it  costs  me  my  life."  "If  you  will  try  it,  go 
ahead,"  I  said.  "If  I  had  wronged  you  I  would  ask  you  to  for- 
give me,  but  I  have  done  nothing  to  ask  forgiveness  for.  I 
have  only  done  that  which  is  right."  She  started  out  to  do  her 
worst.  She  began  at  the  Workers'  Band,  and  got  discord  started 
there.  She  told  things  and  got  some  of  the  band  to  doubting 
me,  so  the  next  Sunday  when  we  started  out  for  our  meetings, 
as  we  had  done  for  over  a  year,  I  felt  the  discord,  and  knew 
she  had  been  at  work.  "Lord,  is  this  why  the  evil  one  entered  her 
on  that  prayer  meeting  night?"  I  asked.  I  knew  there  were  some 
who  were  against  me  in  the  band.  I  could  feel  their  discordant 
spirits,  and  the  next  thing  that  came  to  me  before  the  close  of 
that  Sunday's  work  was  that  the  power  of  the  Spirit  had  left  the 
band.  Like  a  little  frightened  bird  it  had  flown  away  because  the 
union  was  no  longer  there.  The  band  was  like  a  flock  of  sheep 
without  the  shepherd.  I  let  everything  go  till  the  next  Friday 
evening.  After  the  meeting  was  over  we  met  to  give  in  our  reports 
as  usual.  I  then  wanted  to  know  if  I  might  ask  a  question.  I 
inquired  if  they  had  ever  heard  me  say  anything  about  Sister  T — , 
and  they  said,  "no."  Then  I  asked  them  if  they  had  heard  anyone 
say  that  I  had.  Again  they  said  "no."  I  already  knew  Sister 
T —  had  told  them  if  there  ever  was  an  angel  on  earth  I  was 
one;  that  she  had  never  met  so  pure-minded  a  person  in  her  life 
as  I  was;  and  now  in  the  past  week  she  had  said  I  was  a  devil. 
How  could  that  be?  Then  I  said:  "Did  she  not  tell  you  that 
I  was  an  angel?  and  now  she  tells  you  I  am  a  devil.  I  will  let 
her  own  words  decide,  for  her  own  words  are  enough.  She  either 


136  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

told  a  falsehood  when  she  said  I  was  an  angel,  or  she  is  telling  one 
now.  I  will  let  you  judge  her  on  her  own  testimony.  I  will  not 
speak  evil  of  her."  I  then  asked  if  I  might  name  those  in  the 
band  who  believed  me  to  be  a  devil,  or  believed  what  she  said 
was  true.  When  I  did,  it  made  them  angry.  I  knew  now,  with 
such  discord,  the  Lord  would  not  be  with  us  as  he  had  in  the  past. 
I  asked  if  they  had  seen  anything  but  the  fruits  of  the  Spirit;  if 
my  works  were  good  or  bad,  and  if,  in  the  past,  they  had  had 
fellowship  with  me  in  the  Spirit.  They  said  they  had,  and  that 
my  works  and  fruits  were  good  so  far  as  they  knew.  "How  could 
I  be  evil,"  I  asked,  "if  you  have  been  fellowshipping  with  me  in  the 
Spirit  all  these  months?  I  inquired  if  they  had  fellowship  with 
her  in  the  meetings,  and  they  said  they  could  hardly  tell,  for 
they  had  never  heard  her  pray — just  a  time  or  two  a  short  tes- 
timony. She  was  there  that  evening.  She  had  told  several  she 
was  coming  to  down  me  in  the  meeting.  The  dear  Lord  was 
powerfully  with  me  that  evening,  and  we  had  a  good  meeting. 
Services  were  not  half  over  when  she  was  overcome,  and  the 
people  thought  she  was  going  to  faint.  Two  men  assisted  her  out. 
She  was  as  pale  as  death.  I  knew  what  was  the  matter,  for  I 
knew  what  she  had  come  for.  I  prayed  the  Lord  to  give  me  a 
double  portion  of  his  Spirit,  and  he  did;  and  I  prayed  the  Lord 
to  keep  her  mouth  shut,  and  not  let  her  spoil  the  good  meeting 
we  were  having,  and  he  answered  my  prayer.  Several  souls  were 
converted;  and  I  was  so  happy.  I  could  pray  for  that  dear  woman, 
and  my  heart  was  filled  with  the  best  feeling  for  her,  for  I  knew 
so  well  it  was  the  devil's  work.  It  was  not  that  she  had  anything 
against  me,  but  the  evil  one  took  that  plan  to  use  her  to  break  up 
the  power  of  the  Workers'  Band,  and  he  did  the  work.  What 
did  she  gain  by  her  action?  Why  is  it  Christian  people  cannot 
see  all  such  work  is  of  the  devil,  and  not  let  him  get  in  and 
destroy  the  power  and  the  work.  The  woman  left  the  church, 
and  I  do  not  know  where  she  is  to-day.  The  band  lost  its  power, 
and  we  never  again  had  the  meetings  that  we  had  before.  The 
Lord  made  manifest  that  my  work  was  done  in  the  Tabernacle,  but 
I  prayed  him  to  let  me  stay  a  little  longer.  I  stayed  nearly  two 
years  after  the  Lord  wanted  me  to  go.  If  his  children  only  could 
learn  obedience  without  suffering.  But  we  never  will  learn  any 
other  way,  because  the  Son  of  God  learned  obedience  through 
suffering.  I  went  on  with  the  work  a  few  months.  The  meet- 
ings were  good  and  souls  were  saved,  but  the  Spirit  showed  me 
that  my  work  was  done  there.  One  Sunday  the  Lord  had  blessed 
us  all  day.  The  jail  meeting  was  better  than  usual,  and  when 
we  came  into  the  young  converts'  meeting  there  seemed  to  be 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  137 

a  wonderful  joy  filling  every  heart.  I  do  not  remember  which  one 
of  the  band  led  the  meeting  that  evening.  When  the  meeting  was 
about  half  over  everyone  was  willing  and  ready  to  take  part.  All 
at  once  the  Spirit  came  to  me,  and  I  know  you  will  not  be  more 
surprised  than  I  was  when  I  tell  you  what  he  lead  me  to  do.  The 
feeling  and  power  was  all  over  me  and  I  knew  it  was  the  Lord. 
He  impressed  me  to  throw  a  song-book  across  the  room,  and 
I  said,  "Lord,  you  know  if  I  did  they  would  think  me  crazy,"  and 
then  the  suggestion  came  to  take  off  my  collar,  and  I  said  to 
the  Spirit :  "This  is  worse  than  throwing  the  song-book.  I  can- 
not do  this."  It  then  came  to  me  how  they  had  already  called 
me  "Glory  to  God"  on  the  streets,  for  it  was  only  a  few  days  before 
that  I  met  several  young  men  on  the  street  whom  I  did  not  know, 
and  who  evidently  knew  me,  and  as  they  passed  one  said  to  the 
other :  "There  goes  'Glory  to  God/  "  As  I  looked  around  to  see 
if  they  really  did  mean  me,  they  were  looking  at  me,  and  I  knew 
they  did.  "Well,"  I  said,  "it  is  all  right,"  and  when  the  Spirit  led 
me  to  take  off  my  collar,  I  did  not  know  what  to  do.  I  thought 
of  what  they  were  calling  me,  and  I  said:  "Lord,  if  I  do  that, 
what  will  they  call  me?"  As  I  refused  the  Spirit  left  me,  and 
then  came  again'  to  me  and  filled  my  heart  with  a  testimony.  As 
quick  as  a  flash  I  said,  "Lord,  I  will  do  that,"  and  I  was  on  my 
feet  instantly.  As  quick  as  he  gave  me  the  testimony,  just  so 
quickly  did  he  take  it  from  me.  My  testimony  was  gone,  and 
I  could  not  think  of  a  word  to  say.  I  had  no  more  than  realized 
my  condition  than  again  I  saw  the  devil  in  the  aisle  in  the  same 
mist  as  when  he  entered  Sister  T — .  That  mist  was  as  large  as 
a  washtub  and  in  the  same  shape,  and  it  seemed  in  a  commotion. 
It  stayed  in  the  shape  of  a  tub,  and  again  I  knew  it  was  the  spirit 
of  the  devil.  I  did  not  stop  to  think  what  people  would  say  or 
what  they  would  call  me.  I  started  after  the  devil,  and  this  is  what 
I  said  several  times :  "The  people  are  all  right.  It  is  the  devil  I 
am  after."  As  I  started  I  pushed  up  my  sleeves  to  my  elbows. 
The  old  fellow  rolled  out  of  the  door  next  to  Nineteenth  street. 
There  were  two  doors  to  the  church — one  toward  Twentieth,  but 
he  went  out  of  the  one  next  to  Nineteenth.  I  shall  never  forget 
that  evening !  The  people  gave  me  plenty  of  room,  and  I  coul  J 
hear  them  say :  "I  never  saw  her  look  like  that  before."  Everyone 
in  the  room  knew  I  saw  something.  They  could  tell  from  the 
expression  on  my  face,  and  there  was  not  one  who  doubted  me. 
Some  of  my  readers  will  remember  the  evening. 

After  the  devil  had  gone  out  I  saw  five  persons  in  the  room 
whom  the  devil  had  come  to  tempt,  and  they  were  going  to  yield 
to  the  temptation.  There  were  three  men  and  two  women.  I 


138  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

told  them  I  could  tell  their  names,  but  the  Lord  did  not  desire 
me  to  be  personal.  Now  I  would  be  permitted  to  tell  them.  In 
less  than  two  months  each  of  the  five  got  as  far  away  from  the 
Lord  as  Peter  did  when  he  denied  the  Savior.  They  have  all 
repented  as  Peter  did,  and  one  of  the  women  has  gone  to  heaven. 
We  never  pass  through  an  experience  but  what  the  Lord  intends 
that  we  shall  learn  a  lesson  from  it.  It  was  hard  to  see  what 
the  lesson  was  he  wished  to  teach  me.  I  did  not  realize  its  meaning 
sufficiently  at  the  time  to  explain  it  in  a  way  that  would  help 
others.  Now  the  first  thing  that  would  come  to  you  or  anyone 
would  be  just  what  came  to  me:  "Oh,  how  foolish  it  would  be  to 
throw  the  song-book,  or  how  much  worse  to  take  off  my  collar." 
I  did  not  understand  I  Cor.  i  :27  as  I  do  now.  He  has  told  us 
he  would  take  the  foolish  things.  God  hath  chosen  the  foolish 
things  of  the  world  to  confound  the  wise.  You  see  how  plainly  it  was 
to  take  a  simple  book,  and  I  was  so  wise  I  thought  if  I  threw 
the  book  I  would  be  foolish,  and  when  he  wanted  me  to  take  off 
my  collar,  I  said:  "Lord,  I  cannot."  In  other  words,  it  was 
telling  the  Lord  I  would  not  so  confound  the  wise,  though  he 
chose  the  way  that  would  seem  wise  to  me,  till  he  got  me  to  act, 
till  he  got  my  will.  When  he  came  to  me  to  testify  he 
got  my  will  and  I  was  on  my  feet.  The  Spirit  already 
had  my  will.  Then  I  acted  foolish  after  all,  as  foolish  as  to 
throw  the  song-book,  by  pushing  up  my  sleeves.  'We  will  quote 
from  the  same  verse:  "And  God  hath  chosen  the  weak  things  of 
the  world  to  confound  the  things  which  are  mighty."  Did  I  not 
look  weak  and  foolish,  too,  in  the  eyes  of  the  world  and  those 
who  did  not  understand  spiritual  things,  as  I  went  down  the  aisle 
pulling  my  sleeves  up?  If  there  had  been  any  wise  people  of 
the  world  there  they  would  have  said :  "That  woman  is  weak- 
minded,  or  foolish."  It  is  true,  for  God  says  those  things  shall 
be  foolish  and  simple  and  weak  that  are  directed  by  the  Spirit 
and  do  his  will,  for  he  knew  simple  things  and  foolish  things  would 
be  rejected  by  the  wisdom  of  the  world,  and  those  who  did  not 
have  true  spiritual  hearts  and  understand  the  Spirit  and  spiritual 
things  could  easily  be  blinded  the  way  the  Lord  led  me  that  night, 
and  they  would  fail  to  see  the  simple  truth  in  it,  which  means 
everything  to  a  true  spiritual  Christian.  I  will  try  to  show  you 
the  truth  that  was  in  the  act  he  led  me  to  do.  It  is  his  way 
to  use  some  simple  thing  to  get  the  will.  He  tells  us  that  a  willing 
mind  is  acceptable,  and  I  was  not  willing  to  do  such  a  simple 
foolish  thing  as  throwing  the  song-book  in  order  for  him  to  get 
my  will.  I  was  not  willing  to  be  as  simple  as  David,  with  the 
pebble  and  the  sling  that  he  killed  Goliath  with,  or  like  Gideon  with 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  139 

the  pitchers,  when  the  walls  of  Jericho  fell.  There  was  no  power 
in  the  simple  stone  and  sling,  neither  would  there  have  been 
any  power  in  my  throwing  the  song-book.  It  was  the  simple  act 
of  getting  David's  will  and  obedience,  and  it  was  the  simple  act 
of  getting  my  will  that  he  might  show  me  what  he  wished  me  to* 
see,  and  the  only  way  that  he  could  get  my  will  that  night  was 
to  give  me  a  testimony,  and  when  he  got  my  will  I  acted  as  foolish 
as  David  did,  and  as  they  scorned  David  and  made  light  of  him, 
so  perhaps  some  will  scorn  and  make  light  of  what  I  say  I  saw,  but 
I  saw  it  and  I  have  proved  myself  to  be  simple-minded  in  all 
these  twenty  years  of  Christian  work.  I  have  proved  myself  in 
business,  about  my  domestic  duties.  I  have  used  reason  and  com- 
mon-sense, and  no  one  could  call  me  simple  only  in  spiritual  things, 
neither  could  they  David,  for  he  knew  how  to  herd  sheep,  and 
was  honest  and  trustworthy  in  all  his  dealings,  and  when  it  came 
to  obedience  to  God,  he  went  about  it  in  a  foolish,  simple  way  in 
the  eyes  of  the  world.  If  he  did  not  take  these  simple  plans,  which 
always  seem  foolish  from  a  worldly  view,  there  would  be  great 
danger  of  our  getting  conceited  and  bigoted,  and  in  the  act  of 
simple  things  he  keeps  us  meek  and  humble.  To  this  day  God  calls 
on  me  to  do  simple,  foolish  things,  that  even  a  Christian  who 
is  living  a  life  of  faith  might  question,  and  I  will  show  you  what 
I  mean  as  I  tell  you  my  experience.  Perhaps  you  think  these 
things  are  not  mortifying  and  embarrassing  to  me,  and  especially 
if  it  is  someone  whom  I  like — and  I  like  them  all.  It  hurts  me 
to  think  they  cannot  understand  me.  If  you  do  not  know  what 
it  means,  just  try  it,  and  see  for  yourself.  Just  let  the  Spirit  get 
hold  of  you,  and  do  everything  that  you  are  impressed  to  do,  both 
in  word  and  thought  and  deed,  and  you  will  see  you  will  have 
more  people  who  do  not  understand  you  than  who  do.  There  was 
not  one  who  understood  David,  and  yet  he  was  successful,  and 
there  is  not  one,  be  he  spiritual  or  not,  who  can  say  I  have  not 
been  successful,  both  spiritually  and  financially,  or  that  God  has 
not  blessed  my  labors.  Whatsoever  my  hand  has  found  to  do  has 
prospered.  It  is  the  promise  of  God  if  we  obey  him.  In  my  obeying 
the  Spirit  in  the  simple,  foolish  way,  he  has  verified  his  promise 
to  me.  Do  you  think  I  cared  how  foolish  I  appeared  to  the 
people  after  the  Lord  gave  me  the  spiritual  sight  to  see  what  I  did? 
Do  you  think  Gideon  cared  how  foolish  or  simple  his  way  might 
appear  after  Gpd  reached  his  will,  though  God  had  to  comply 
with  Gideon's  will  or  plan  in  proving  himself  to  Gideon  before  he 
would  say  "I  will."  Judges  6 139 :  "And  Gideon  said  unto  God, 
Let  not  thine  anger  be  hot  against  me,  and  I  will  speak  but  this 
once;  let  me  prove,  I  pray  thee,  but  this  once  with  the  fleece; 


140  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

let  it  now  be  dry  only  upon  the  fleece,  and  upon  all  the  ground  let 
there  be  dew%"  In  the  4Oth  verse  we  find  this  is  the  way  God  pleased 
him,  for  it  was  dry  upon  the  fleece  only,  and  there  was  dew  upon  all 
the  ground.  He  not  only  pleased  Gideon  to  get  his  will,  but  he 
proved  himself  to  Gideon.  He  pleased  me  in  giving  me  a  testimony, 
and  then  proved  himself  to  me  by  the  vision,  which  strengthened  me. 
That  with  other  things  I  have  seen  and  heard  made  me  stronger 
than  I  had  thought  possible.  The  purpose,  I  have  since  learned, 
was  to  make  me  strong  for  what  he  has  called  me  to  endure; 
that  when  the  time  came  to  prove  me  to  himself  I  might  be  ready 
and  strong  to  stand  the  test.  What  could  be  more  unassuming  than 
David  when  he  took  the  simple  sling  with  two  stones  to  meet 
that  great  giant,  Goliath?  And  did  not  his  own  family,  in  his 
own  house,  speak  lightly  of  him?  And  as  soon  as  he  began  to 
think  of  doing  something  for  the  Lord,  even  before  he  did  it,  the 
people  spoke  lightly  of  him,  and  got  angry  and  jealous  of  him,  as 
they  will  of  you.  I  Sam.  17 :28  reads  like  this :  "And  Eliab's  anger 
was  kindled  against  David,  and  he  said,  Why  earnest  thou  down 
hither?  and  with  whom  hast  thou  left  thy  few  sheep  in  the  wilder- 
ness? I  know  thy  pride,  and  the  naughtiness  of  thine  heart;  for 
thou  art  come  down  that  thou  mightest  see  the  battle.  And  David 
said,  What  have  I  now  done?"  They  began  to  criticize  him  before 
he  did  anything;  and  they  made  light  of  him  and  misjudged  him, 
and  he  had  done  nothing.  It  is  the  same  to-day.  You  start  out  to 
do  a  thing  in  God's  name,  and  one-half  of  the  church  will  get  angry 
and  .say  light  things  of  you,  and  misjudge  you,  while  the  other  half 
of  the  church  is  trying  to  tell  you  what  to  do.  The  colleges  are 
trying  to  fix  you  up  as  Saul  was  trying  to  fix  up  David  in  the 
38th  verse:  "And  Saul  armed  David  with  his  armor,  and  he  put 
an  hemlet  of  brass  upon  his  head;  also  he  armed  him  with 
a  coat  of  mail."  God's  plan  was  not  enough.  And  with  it  all 
David  could  not  listen  to  any  of  them,  but  took  the  simple  plan 
and  trusted  God.  The  word  of  God  tells  us  David  was  a  bright 
lad.  It  takes  a  shrewd,  smart,  gifted  person  to  work  for  God, 
yet  many  think  we  must  not  have  half  sense  before  we  can  do 
anything  for  the  Lord;  and  the  world  thinks  that  Christians  are 
only  half-witted.  It  is  not  everyone  who  can  preach  and  teach  and 
lead  the  people,  but  ,we  can  all  do  some  kind  of  work.  Moses 
was  not  a  fool.  He  had  the  leading  advantages  of  his  day,  and 
so  had  Paul.  I  know  from  personal  experience  men  and  women 
preach  and  give  long  talks  whom  God  has  only  given  power  and 
spirit  for  a  simple  testimony.  All  can  testify,  but  few  can  preach. 
The  world  is  not  blind  to  their  misplaced  efforts,  and  that  is  why 
so  many  are  called  fools,  for  what  else  are  we  if  we  are  out  of 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  14! 

our  places?  Who  is  a  bigger  fool  than  one  trying  to  do  something 
they  cannot  do?  Think  of  a  blacksmith  trying  to  build  a  fine 
house !  He  might  cobble  up  a  little  shack,  and  we  have  plenty  of 
shacks  and  cobblers  trying  to  preach  and  lead  to-day.  I  know  mis- 
sionaries in  Denver  who  haven't  enough  natural  ability  to  know  how 
to  put  their  month's  wages  to  the  best  advantage,  so  that  their 
salary  will  cover  all  their  expenses  and  leave  them  a  little  besides 
for  a  sick  or  "rainy"  day.  All  they  know  is  to  get  everything  they 
see  to  eat  and  drink,  and  at  the  end  of  the  month  there  is  not  a 
cent  left.  Do  you  think  God  wants  a  person  no  more  gifted  than 
that  to  do  his  work?  Think  of  a  man  going  out  to  do  God's  work 
who  does  not  have  ability  enough  to  save  one  dollar  to  ten  or 
twenty  of  his  wages,  or  who  is  unwilling  to  make  some  sacri- 
fices in  order  that  the  bills  may  be  paid  promptly.  You  tell  me 
God  wants  a  worker  who  is  not  shrewd  enough  to  keep  out  of 
debt?  There  are  some  who  are  too  lazy  to  meet  their  reasonable 
expenses.  Do  you  think  God  wants  a  lazy  person?  I  do  not 
know  whether  God  will  even  accept  their  testimony  or  not.  I  know 
missionaries  who  think  it  a  dreadful  thing  to  get  right  down  to 
hard,  laborious  work.  I  know  by  experience  there  is  nothing 
harder  or  where  so  much  sacrifice  is  required,  as  to  be  a  soul- 
winner  for  God  if  it  is  done  right.  Those  looking  for  an  easy  job 
have  gotten  into  the  wrong  pew.  One  should  have  sufficient  natural 
shrewdness  to  keep  one's  self  "out  of  the  hole"  financially.  That 
is  what  is  hurting  the  church  work  to-day.  One  who  does  not 
know  enough  to  mind  his  own  business  should  first  try  to  convert 
himself.  These  kind  of  missionaries  are  not  fit  to  teach  or  help 
the  people  spiritually.  If  one  buys  a  piece  of  property  on  the  in- 
stallment plan,  whether  he  be  a  missionary  or  a  layman,  he  should 
be  careful  to  only  contract  within  the  limit  of  his  wages,  then  trust 
in  God.  If  we  do  not  use  reason  God  will  not  help  us.  Do  not 
use  up  everything  you  make.  Do  not  ask  people  to  loan  you  money, 
and  then  you  will  never  be  in  debt,  for  God  tells  us  to  owe  no  man. 
If  you  will  live  prayerfully  and  carefully,  God  will  help  his  children 
to  keep  this  part  of  the  scripture.  It  is  a  disgrace  to  owe 
anyone,  and  always  be  borrowing.  There  is  something  wrong  some- 
where. There  is  a  leak  in  the  vessel,  and  you  have  made  it  failing 
to  use  judgment.  It  is  not  God's  fault,  still  I  have  heard  Christians 
blame  God  because  they  were  poor  or  in  want!  If  God  did  not 
keep  a  good  many  of  us  real  poor  perhaps  we  never  would  get 
into  heaven.  He  uses  this  means  that  we  may  escape  the  snare  of 
the  devil.  We  are  so  blind  we  cannot  see  it,  and  then  begin  to 
complain.  Let  us  be  careful  that  we  do  not  get  ahead  of  God  in 
earthly  things,  for  we  must  learn  to  let  God  lead  us  in  our  finan- 


142  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

cial  dealings,  else  he  cannot  lead  spiritually.  This  is  why  we 
wade  in  where  we  cannot  get  out.  That  was  the  trouble  with 
me  when  God  led  me  to  leave  the  church.  The  longer  I  de- 
layed in  obeying  him  the  deeper  I  got  into  it.  That  is  the  first 
time  my  health  forsook  me.  It  was  then  my  nervous  system  began 
to  give  way,  and  I  got  weak.  At  times  I  could  hardly  speak.  There 
was  a  month  that  I  did  not  do  any  mission  work.  I  left  it,  and  the 
Friday  night  meeting,  in  the  hands  of  others.  God  let  me  know 
all  the  time  that  my  time  was  up.  I  went  down  one  Friday  even- 
ing to  lead  the  meeting  after  I  had  gotten  better,  and  the  one 
who  was  leading  the  meeting  did  not  like  it.  I  did  not  know 
what  the  trouble  was,  but  I  knew  something  was  the  matter.  The 
next  Friday  evening  it  was  the  same  way,  and  I  said:  "Lord,  if 
you  want  me  to  go,  turn  the  church  people  against  me."  Then  I 
asked  several,  and  I  found  out  there  was  another  sister  who  wanted 
my  place,  and  one  of  the  brothers  wanted  to  be  leader  in  the 
Workers'  Band.  The  Tabernacle  had  another  work  in  North 
Denver.  I  had  led  the  meetings  over  there  before  I  was  taken  sick, 
and  we  had  such  good  meetings;  so  I  thought  if  they  did  not 
want  me  in  the  Friday  night  meeting,  I  would  go  over  and  see 
the  pastor  of  the  church.  He  told  me  they  said  I  was  cross  and 
ugly  and  scolded.  I  did  not  know  what  to  think.  I  prayed  almost 
all  night.  The  next  evening  I  went  over  to  the  tent  on  the  North 
Side,  but  before  the  meeting  I  was  told  I  was  not  wanted  there. 
The  one  who  was  leading  the  meeting  said  that  if  I  led  the  meeting 
there  the  people  would  want  me  to  lead  all  the  time.  I  asked 
myself,  can  that  be  true?  Sure  enough,  I  could  feel  the  same  feel- 
ing there  that  I  felt  in  the  Friday  night  meeting.  You  know 
you  can  tell  when  you  get  into  a  place  whether  you  are  wanted 
or  not.  I  can  tell  when  I  am  in  the  presence  of  another  whether 
they  think  well  of  me  or  not.  I  was  determined  to  ascertain  what 
it  meant,  and  discovered  that  the  one  who  wanted  the  Friday  night 
meeting  had  gone  around  to  see  how  others  felt  about  it,  and  said 
anyone  could  lead  the  Friday  night  meetings  as  well  as  Sister 
Peterson,  and  there  was  nothing  to  hinder  anyone  having  good 
meetings  if  Brother  Uzzell  would  encourage  and  help  them  as  he 
did  me.  To  think  that  people  were  shutting  me  out  of  my  own 
meetings,  which  I  loved  better  than  I  loved  my  own  life,  almost 
broke  my  heart,  and  still  I  had  prayed  the  Lord  to  turn  the  peo- 
ple against  me,  or  to  put  something  in  my  way  if  it  were  his  will 
for  me  to  leave  that  work.  With  this,  some  made  it  their  bus- 
iness to  come  and  tell  me  that  some  of  the  workers  said  I  was 
back-sliding.  God  knew  nothing  was  farther  from  my  mind.  The 
ones  who  said  this,  when  they  saw  how  bad  I  looked,  had  a  con- 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  143 

demned  expression.  They  were  the  leading  ones  of  the  mission 
work.  They  had  said  they  would  give  anything  in  the  world 
if  they  had  the  power  I  had;  and  with  this  came  the  news  that  I 
had  committed  murder  in  the  second  degree.  Ah,  they  were  bitter 
tears  I  shed  over  this.  I  said:  "Lord,  you  know  I  have  been 
free  from  sin  since  I  gave  my  heart  to  thee."  I  could  not 
see  till  God  laid  me  on  another  bed  of  sickness.  Then  I  knew 
what  was  the  matter  with  me.  It  required  all  this  talk,  and  some- 
one else  to  take  my  place,  and  sickness,  to  make  me  see  what  God 
saw  in  myself.  He  had  to  let  these  things  come  in  order  to  show 
me.  I  will  tell  you  what  it  was. 

The  Lord  permitted  the  devil  to  give  me  a  round-up  with 
Sister  T — .  I  overcame  that.  The  Spirit  showed  me  at  that  time 
that  the  Lord  wanted  me  to  leave  the  work.  When  trouble  of 
this  nature  came  to  the  Savior  when  he  was  on  earth  he  would 
slip  out,  and  before  they  knew  it  he  was  gone.  He  does  not  want 
us  to  contend.  I  would  not  obey  him  and  go,  when  he  let  me 
know  my  work  was  done,  so  he  taught  me  a  few  lessons  before 
I  surrendered. 

The  first  was  I  had  disobeyed  my  leadings  in  not  leaving  there 
when  my  work  was  done.  The  second  was  I  must  be  tried  as  I 
had  had  smooth  sailing  for  three  years;  and  all  this  time  had  had 
no  persecution.  I  had  other  troubles,  but  not  that  kind.  I  could 
rejoice  through  it  all  till  it  came  to  this  persecution,  and  then  I 
wore  a  long  face  and  began  to  cry  and  complain.  It  took  this  per- 
secution to  show  me  that  God  would  have  a  tried  people.  All 
the  time  I  was  passing  through  what  most  people  would  call  trials, 
but  I  had  the  complete  victory.  But  God  wanted  to  show  me  I 
still  had  the  human  nature,  and  that  I  had  things  in  my  spirit  that 
he  did  not  like;  not  in  the  flesh,  for  things  of  the  flesh  I  had  laid 
aside  long  before.  It  was  in  my  spirit.  To  make  it  clearer  I  will 
tell  you  my  experience.  And  still  there  was  a  little  thing  in  the 
flesh,  but  I  had  not  yet  seen  it,  and  it  was  not  shown  me  till  I 
was  working  in  the  Haymarket  Mission.  I  worked  there  five 
months,  and  the  Lord  showed  me  the  things  of  the  flesh,  and  I 
laid  them  aside.  But  first  I  will  tell  you  what  was  the  matter 
with  my  spirit. 

I  knew  I  had  lived  a  good,  sanctified  life  for  four  years ;  but  he 
wanted  me  to  go  on  and  complete  the  work  of  sanctification,  and 
with  these  things  in  my  spirit  I  could  not.  All  of  these  persecu- 
tions had  to  come  upon  me,  that  I  might  see  myself  as  the  Lord 
saw  me.  They  could  not  attack  my  conversation,  for  it  was  always 
in  Christ.  I  knew  I  was  living  according  to  I  Peter  3:16.  I 
knew  the  work  of  sanctification  had  begun  in  my  life;  that  I  had 


144  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

not  defrauded  my  brother  or  sister  in  any  manner.  This  is  a  pan 
of  I  Thess.  4:6.  I  knew  my  own  heart.  I  had,  indeed,  lived 
that  whole  chapter;  and  also  I  Peter  2:1,  2:  "Wherefore,  laying 
aside  all  malice,  and  all  guile,  and  hypocrisies,  and  envies,  and  all 
evil  speakings,  as  new-born  babes,  desire  the  sincere  milk  of  the 
word,  that  ye  may  grow  thereby."  I  knew  that  in  all  the  four 
years,  not  one  in  the  city  of  Denver  could  come  to  me  and  say  I 
had  not  lived  according  to  those  verses.  I  knew  I  had  lived 
and  was  living  in  accordance  with  Col.  3:8:  "But  now 
ye  also  put  off  all  these;  anger,  wrath,  malice,  blasphemy,  filthy 
communication  out  of  your  mouth."  These  were  the  filthiness  of 
the  flesh  and  they  were  gone;  still  my  spirit  was  not  right. 
Now  read  Eph.  4 131,  32 :  "Let  all  bitterness,  and  wrath, 
and  anger  and  clamour  and  evil-speaking,  be  put  away 
from  you  with  all  malice:  and  be  ye  kind  one  to  another,  tender- 
hearted, forgiving  one  another,  even  as  God  for  Christ's  sake  hath 
forgiven  you."  I  had  done  all  this  and  it  was  easy,  for  God  had 
given  me  the  grace  and  strength.  Read  II  Cor.  7:1,  2:  "Having 
therefore  these  promises,  dearly  beloved,  let  us  cleanse  ourselves 
from  all- filthiness  of  the  flesh  and  spirit,  perfecting  holiness  in 
the  fear  of  God.  Receive  us ;  we  have  wronged  no  man,  we  have 
corrupted  no  man,  we  have  defrauded  no  man."  I  had  done  none 
of  these  things,  and  could  not  see  what  was  the  matter.  It  was  the 
spirit  that  needed  cleansing  as  well  as  the  flesh.  I  did  not  know 
that  sin  could  be  of  the  spirit  till  the  Lord  let  me  fall  ill,  and 
others  wanted  my  place  in  the  church.  The  Lord  permitted  them 
to  do  as  they  did,  for  he  could  not  get  me  to  obey  any  other  way. 
And  then  he  let  the  devil  afflict  me.  I  sometimes  think  we  blame 
the  devil  with  a  good  many  things  for  which  we  are  to  blame 
ourselves.  I  know,  as  Paul  tells  us,  I  was  too  zealous  in  my  work 
and  overdid.  Not  many  seemed  to  think  it  was  the  labor  of  love 
that  had  broken  down  my  health,  but  I  know  I  am  suffering  to-day 
from  overdoing.  The  Lord  let  me  see  the  sin  of  my  spirit  through 
prostration  of  my  nerves.  Though  it  was  bad,  God  brought  good 
out  of  it.  I  had  some  of  Job's  friends,  and  they  said  as  much 
to  comfort  me  as  they  did  to  him,  and  you  know  that  he  did 
not  receive  much  comfort  from  them.  While  lying  in  this  pros- 
trate condition  God  showed  me  the  sin  of  the  spirit — that  I  had 
been  glorying  in  what  I  was  doing.  It  was  not  enough  that 
my  name  was  written  in  the  Lamb's  Book  of  Life;  and  that  was 
why  I  was  weak  when  the  refining  fire  of  persecution  came,  so 
that  I  could  not  bear  it  and  complained.  I  searched  the  scriptures 
to  see  where  I  was  wrong  and  I  found  in  II  Cor.  10:17:  "But  he 
that  glorieth,  let  him  glory  in  the  Lord."  I  said:  "Lord,  I  do 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  145 

glory  in  you."  I  was  praying  all  the  time  for  the  Lord  to  show  me, 
and  looking  farther  I  found  in  the  same  chapter,  the  last  two  lines 
of  the  twelfth  verse,  words  which  I  took  to  myself:  "They  meas- 
uring themselves  by  themselves,  and  comparing  themselves  among 
themselves,  are  not  wise."  I  knew  a  good  many  times  when  I  saw 
anyone  doing  a  thing  that  the  word  said  not  to  do,  as  getting  angry, 
and  talking  about  one  another,  and  making  ugly  remarks,  I  would 
say:  "Lord  you  know  I  don't  do  or  talk  like  that.  Why  can  they 
not  do  as  I  do?"  And  when  I  would  hear  someone  complaining  I 
would  say:  "Why  is  it  they  cannot  stand  like  I  do?  I  am  not  stumb- 
ling around  like  that."  Not  that  I  felt  better  than  anyone  else ;  I  did 
not.  I  was  not  proud,  or  haughty,  in  comparing  myself  with 
others.  I  was  kind,  and  did  all  I  could  to  help  them.  I  made  all 
these  comparisons  to  myself.  I  did  not  tell  anyone,  but  God  knew 
it  would  weaken  me  spiritually.  I  was  not  acting  wisely,  and  I  was 
crying  and  complaining  when  persecution  came.  And  now  you 
had  best  stop  comparing  yourself  with  others,  and  be  ashamed  of 
your  murmuring  because  of  persecution,  and  be  wise.  I  did  not 
stop  there.  I  found  another  verse  that  trimmed  another  knot  off 
my  spirit.  I  Cor.  8 :2 :  "And  if  any  man  think  that  he  knoweth 
anything,  he  knoweth  nothing  yet  as  he  ought  to  know."  The 
third  verse  says :  "But  if  any  man  love  God,  the  same  is  known 
of  him."  I  did  think  I  knew  a  little  something,  but  I  thank  God 
I  do  not  know  anything  now,  only  as  the  Spirit  brings  things.  And 
I  go  ahead  and  love  God,  knowing  that  I  do  not  know  anything. 
And  still  the  Lord  showed  me  my  spirit  was  not  right.  Ps.  37:8: 
"Cease  from  anger  and  forsake  wrath."  I  had  done  this  and 
though  I  was  alright  when  this  was  done.  I  Cor.  10:12:  "Where- 
fore let  him  that  thinketh  he  standeth,  take  heed  lest  he  fall."  He 
does  not  want  us  to  think  so  much  about  how  we  are  standing,  as 
he  does  that  we  take  heed  that  we  do  not  fall.  We  get  where 
we  think  we  are  all  right,  when  God  tells  us  there  is  no  good 
thing  in  the  flesh.  He  tells  us  to  count  ourselves  unprofitable  and 
unworthy  servants.  That  is  the  way  he  wants  us  to  feel  about 
our  unworthiness ;  and  he  will  let  things  come  upon  us,  and  per- 
mit us  to  do  things,  or  say  things,  or  suffer,  in  a  way  that  will 
take  the  conceit  out  of  us;  and  we  will  acknowledge  in  our  inmost 
souls  that  there  is  no  good  thing  in  us.  He  will  let  the  devil  take 
our  health  and  let  us  go  through  experiences,  if  we  will  only  stand 
the  test,  till  he  will  take  out  of  us  every  thought  that  is  not  accord- 
ing to  his  word,  for  he  tells  us  in  his  word  that  he  will  bring  in 
subjection  every  thought  to  the  obedience  of  Christ.  The  Lord 
knew  I  had  no  other  desire  but  to  do  his  will,  so  he  sent  on  the 
refining  fire  and  persecution  that  opened  my  eyes,  and  I  was  sur- 

10 


146  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

prised  when  I  saw  these  things  in  my  spirit  that  were  not  right, 
things  that  I  had  picked  up  before  the  work  of  sanctification  was 
complete.  God  knows  I  did  as  the  word  tells  us  in  Romans  12:1: 
"I  beseech  you  therefore,  brethren,  by  the  mercies  of  God,  that 
ye  present  your  bodies  a  living  sacrifice,  holy,  acceptable  unto  God, 
which  is  your  reasonable  service."  I  knew  my  body  and  all  its 
members  were  not  doing  wrong,  and  that  I  was  not  yielding  my 
members  to  sin  in  any  way,  and  I  did  not  know  there  was  filthiness 
of  the  spirit,  and  I  had  no  one  to  tell  me  or  to  teach  me,  and  it 
was  so  hard  for  me  to  see  it.  If  we  could  only  realize  when  these 
trials  come  upon  us  that  they  are  teaching  and  showing  us  things 
that  we  cannot  otherwise  see!  If  we  would  only  stop  and  think 
that  this  is  the  purpose  of  these  trials,  then  we  would  go  to  work 
and  seek  out  diligently  the  lessons  he  would  have  us  learn.  But 
in  the  place  of  looking  for  that  I  was  looking  at  how  hard  I  had 
worked,  and  how  I  had  broken  down  my  health,  and  the  ones  who 
should  stand  by  me  were  the  ones  who  would  not,  saying  it  was 
other  things  that  had  broken  my  health.  To  think  that  the  children 
of  God  would  have  such  thoughts !  They  were  not  satisfied  till 
they  got  the  Friday  night  meeting  and  the  leadership  of  the  Workers' 
Band.  They  did  not  want  me  in  the  tent,  but  without  that  experi- 
ence I  never  would  have  known  the  scripture  as  I  do.  There 
were  a  few  who  stood  by  me,  and  God  will  bless  them  for  their 
faithfulness  to  me.  I  can  number  them  on  my  two  hands;  that 
is,  of  the  leaders  or  workers.  Brother  Uzzell  and  Mother  Uzzell, 
Sister  Spalti  and  Brother  and  Sister  Jacobs,  and  Brother  Campbell 
and  six  or  seven  others  of  the  Workers'  Band.  May  God  bless 
them  and  those  who  envied  tme  and  wanted  my  place,  and  yet 
God  will  punish  all  undermining  work,  and  will  turn  it  into  a  bless- 
ing for  you,  teaching  you  lessons  as  he  did  me.  I  do  not  regret 
what  has  happened.  It  is  worth  more  to  me  than  all  the  good  things 
they  could  say.  Another  fault  in  my  spirit  the  Lord  revealed  to 
me  I  never  would  have  seen  without  this  persecution.  The  Lord 
showed  me  it  was  all  right  to  glory  and  give  vent  to  the  joy  in 
my  heart,  and  shout  his  praises,  for  I  know  when  he  gave  me  this 
liberty.  It  was  before  I  was  sanctified.  It  was  one  Wednesday 
evening.  I  did  not  know  what  in  the  world  to  do.  I  had  felt 
for  several  weeks  that  the  Lord  filled  my  heart  with  this  joy.  Per- 
haps I  can  make  it  plain  to  you  in  this  way:  Did  you  ever  want  to 
laugh  real  hard  when  you  did  not  even  dare  to  smile?  Well,  if 
you  ever  did,  you  know  just  what  I  mean.  There  are  people  who 
will  almost  go  through  life  without  having  a  real,  good,  hearty 
laugh.  People  like  that  do  not  know  what  it  .is  to  want  to  laugh, 
do  not  dare  to,  and  hardly  bear  anyone  who  does.  I  like  to  see 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  147 

people  get  enough  of  God's  love  in  their  hearts  so  they  will  not 
be  as  the  word  of  God  says,  a  dog  in  the  manger.  They  will 
not  eat  the  hay,  nor  let  anything  else  eat  it,  but  will  stay  in  the 
church  because  it  is  a  comfortable  place.  Let  someone  come  along 
who  would  make  better  use  of  the  hay  or  the  place,  and  they 
will  begin  to  turn  up  their  noses  and  growl,  thinking  no  one 
has  a  right  to  the  hay  but  them.  I  have  had  prominent  Christians' 
turn  up  their  noses  at  me  because  I  would  give  vent  to  the  glory 
that  was  in  my  soul.  They  did  not  know  how  to  drink  in  God's 
word  in  that  way,  and  did  not  want  me  to.  They  had  more  of 
the  disposition  of  a  hog.  I  am  not  surprised  that  God  calls  people 
brutes,  and  takes  a  dog  to  show  the  disposition  of  some  people, 
and  professors  at  that.  It  was  professors  whom  the  Lord  was 
talking  to  when  he  said  they  were  like  a  dog  in  the  manger.  Be- 
cause of  this  joy  in  my  heart  I  was  always  running  up  against  so 
many  of  these  dogs  in  the  manger.  The  first  thing  I  knew  I 
would  hear  them  growling  and  see  the  noses  turned  up  at  me.  They 
would  even  snap  at  me,  but  the  Lord  had  me  under  the  shadow  of 
his  wing,  and  with  the  joy  in  my  heart  it  did  not  affect  me.  All 
I  asked  was  for  them  to  treat  me  as  I  did  them.  I  had  nothing  to 
say  because  they  were  still,  and  I  wanted  them  to  have  nothing 
to  say  because  I  was  noisy.  I  thought  that  was  the  privilege  of 
everyone  in  this  free  world,  and  especially  in  spiritual  things,  to 
follow  one's  own  convictions  and  leadings.  By  the  grace  of  God, 
I  have  always  taken  that  privilege.  This  Wednesday  evening  I 
spoke  of  the  Lord  had  so  filled  my  heart  with  joy  I  had  all  I 
could  do  to  keep  still.  Suppose  you  try  it  once,  and  see  if  your 
heart  does  not  almost  burst  if  you  do  not  give  vent  to  the  flood 
of  joy,  just  as  steam  confined  will  burst  all  barriers.  Why  should 
we  not  give  vent  to  joy  of  the  spirit  just  as  we  would  laugh  or 
give  vent  to  our  feelings  with  a  smile.  Before  I  realized  it  I 
was  in  this  condition,  and  I  went  to  praying  about  the  condition 
of  my  heart  as  I  did  about  other  things  that  bothered  me.  I 
would  make  anything  a  subject  of  prayer  till  I  got  the  victory, 
so  this  is  the  way  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord  brought  the  thoughts  to 
me.  I  could  not  tell  the  thoughts  from  words,  only  one  had  a 
sound  and  the  other  had  not,  for  the  Spirit  speaks  as  plain  in 
thoughts  to  you  as  one  could  speak  in  words.  When  I  began  to 
pray  the  thoughts  began  to  come.  As  the  heart  believeth  the  mouth 
speaketh,  and  from  the  abundance  of  the  heart  the  mouth  speak- 
eth,  then  I  knew  the  abundance  of  joy  that  came  to  me  gave 
me  no  other  way,  so  this  Wednesday  evening  I  said :  "Lord,  I  will 
speak  if  you  will  give  that  joy,  regardless  of  anyone.  This  was 
the  evening  before  Christmas.  The  windows  were  all  decorated 


148  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

for  the  holidays.*  Sister  Ross  and  I  went  early  and  stopped  to  look 
at  them.  I  never  did  put  in  a  more  miserable  half  hour.  The 
old  devil  would  come  with  his  thoughts  to  me  with  such  power  that 
I  would  have  had  to  be  a  wooden  woman  not  to  have  listened 
to  him.  Sister  Ross  would  talk  to  me  about'  the  beautiful  windows, 
but  the  devil  was  more  powerful  than  anything  in  this  world. 
Sister  Ross  did  not  know  about  the  warfare  going  on  in  my 
heart.  Now,  understand,  I  take  these  thoughts  the  same  way  you 
would  receive  words  from  anyone  and  answer  them,  and  you  can 
tell  whether  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord  brings  them  or  the  spirit  of 
the  devil  by  the  knowledge  of  right  and  wrong,  and  by  God's 
word,  and  the  good  common  sense  God  has  given  us,  whether 
it  is  right  or  wrong.  We  have  enough  to  govern  us.  God  has 
given  us  all  these  things  to  guard  against  evil.  The  devil  may 
fool  us  a  little  while,  but  not  long.  You  will  know  him  by  your 
own  conscience,  and  the  Lord  tells  us  to  try  the  spirits,  to  see 
whether  they  are  of  God  or  not.  Moses  and  Aaron  saw  the  test 
of  the  spirits.  As  they  threw  down  the  rod  it  turned  to  a  snake, 
then  the  wise  and  learned  men  of  Pharoah  threw  down  their  rods 
and  they  turned  into  snakes  as  Moses'  did.  There  is  a  similar 
work  between  the  wise  of  the  world  and  the  wisdom  of  God,  but 
watch  them  and  you  will  see  the  wisdom  of  the  world  is  a  failure, 
and  the  wisdom  and  power  of  God  is  success,  for  Aaron's  rod  swal- 
lowed up  the  snakes  of  the  wise  men.  As  I  said,  the  devil  may 
fool  us  a  little  while,  but  his  plans  are  always  a  failure.  Take 
notice,  and  something  will  always  happen  so  you  can  plainly  see 
the  results,  and  know  whether  it  is  of  God  or  the  devil.  These 
thoughts  would  come  while  I  was  looking  into  the  windows :  "Go 
down  there  and  shout,  and  say  'glory'  and  'Amen'  and  'praise  the 
Lord,'  and  all  of  those  things  that  come  to  you  and  the  people 
will  think  you  are  doing  it  to  show  off  and  be  smart."  I  answered : 
"Well,  Mr.  Devil,  I  think  you  have  told  the  truth.  They  will 
not  only  think  that,  but  they  will  say  it."  And  then  the  sug- 
gestion came  to  me,  can  I  speak  out  all  that  I  fed  in  my  heart? 
Then  the  scripture  would  answer :  "From  the  abundance  of  the 
heart  the  mouth  speaketh."  And  then  I  would  ask  the  devil  what 
he  was  going  to  do  with  God's  word.  Dear  reader,  we  must* 
become  familiar  with  the  word  of  God  as  did  Christ  when  the 
devil  came  to  tempt  him.  The  thought  then  came,  "You  are  not 
pleasing  the  people,  you  are  pleasing  God,"  and  I  hurled  that  at  him. 
By  this  time  the  glory  rilled  my  heart  there  on  the  street,  and  the 
Spirit  brought  this  passage  of  scripture  to  me,  "The  joy  of  the 
Lord  is  my  strength,"  and  I  was  in  good  condition  when  I  got  to 
prayer  meeting  to  say  and  do  just  as  I  felt.  Now,  this  is  the  joy 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  149 

the  Lord  wants  us  to  have,  and  I  got  deeper  and  deeper  into 
the  work  every  year,  and  before  I  knew  it  I  was  glorying  in  the 
work  and  did  not  know  when  or  where  I  got  off  from  the  joy 
of  God's  word  on  to  that  of  the  work,  and  did  not  know  till  I 
was  taken  sick.  How  could  I  regret  my  experience  when  I  had 
learned  such  a  lesson,  and  how  could  I  be  anything  but  kind  to 
those  whom  the  devil  had  used  in  order  that  I  might  learn  ? 

I  have  told  you  how  I  was  led  when  I  received  the  joy  of  the 
Lord,  and  he  did  not  want  me  to  spoil  all  this  joy  by  blinding 
me  so  I  would  glory  or  rejoice  in  my  work,  Rom.  4:2:  "For  if 
Abraham  were  justified  by  works,  he  hath  whereof  to  glory,  but 
not  before  God/'  Abraham's  works  were  much  greater  than  mine, 
and  God  told  him  he  must  not  glory  before  him.  How  the  Lord 
bore  with  me  in  my  rejoicing  in  the  blessings  of  God;  and  how 
he  blessed  me  in  my  work !  He  let  suffering  come  until  I  could  see 
that  I  must  not  rejoice  or  glory  in  my  labors.  I  know  of  no  married 
woman  and  mother  who  has  sacrificed  and  suffered  to  do  the  work 
as  I  have  done,  and  said  as  little  about  it.  The  Lord  wanted  me 
to  glory  in  my  tribulations,  and  not  the  work  I  was  doing.  I  am 
glad  he  let  me  suffer  until  I  could  see  it.  Rom.  5  13 :  "And  not  only 
so,  but  we  glory  in  tribulation  also ;  knowing  that  tribulation  worketh 
patience,  and  patience  experience."  With  all  our  learning  and  edu- 
cation and  knowledge  we  will  have  no  kind  of  experience  till 
we  have  learned  patience.  We  can  graduate  in  the  greatest  col- 
leges of  the  land  to-day,  and  it  will  not  bring  patience.  It  must 
be  tribulation,  for  this  is  God's  plan ;  and  when  we  have  patience 
it  will  bring  an  experience  that  is  pleasing  to  God.  The  fourth 
verse  of  the  same  chapter.  When  this  all  came  upon  me  and  taught* 
me  to  glory  and  rejoice,  there  was  solid  work  done,  and  I  began 
to  get  an  experience  and  see  the  scripture  as  I  had  never  before 
seen  it.  II  Cor.  12:5:  "Of  such  an  one  will  I  glory;  yet  of  myself 
I  will  not  glory,  but  in  mine  infirmities."  In  the  same  chapter,  gth 
verse:  "Therefore,  will  I  rather  glory  in  mine  infirmities,  that  the 
power  of  Jesus  may  rest  upon  me."  That  is  the  way  to  get  the 
power — to  take  pleasure  in  persecutions.  I  read  Luke  10:17:  "And 
the  seventy  returned  again  with  joy,  saying,  Lord,  even  the  devils 
are  subject  unto  us  through  thy  name."  Also  the  2Oth  verse  of  the 
same  chapter:  "Notwithstanding,  in  tTiis  rejoice  not,  that  the  spirits 
are  subject  unto  you;  but  rather  rejoice,  because  your  names  are 
written  in  heaven."  What  those  seventy  were  rejoicing  in  also 
was  I.  People  would  say  to  me :  "If  there  were  seven  people 
in  Denver  who  had  the  power  you  have,  they  would  take  Denver 
for  God."  I  did  not  get  conceited  or  bigoted,  for  I  knew  I  did 
not  know  anything ;  for  the  Lord  has  told  us  when  we  think  we  • 


15°  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

know  something  it  is  when  we  know  nothing.  The  devil  could 
not  get  the  best  of  me  in  that  way,  so  he  got  me  sidetracked  on 
glorying  and  rejoicing  in  the  work,  and  how  people  loved  me. 
When  the  Salvation  Army  would  see  me  coming  into  the  hall  in 
the  afternoon,  after  the  jail  meeting,  they  would  say:  "Here  comes 
Sister  Peterson,"  and  fire  three  volleys  for  me.  The  families  in 
whose  homes  I  visited  all  loved  me,  so  that  on  the  days  I  came 
to  see  them,  those  that  drank  beer  would  not  touch  it  on  that 
day.  Now  wouldn't  that  make  you  feel  good?  One  home  where 
I  went  the  husband  drank,  and  all  the  neighbors  and  his  wife  said 
I  could  not  come.  He  had  told  them  he  would  throw  me  down 
stairs  if  I  came.  The  Lord  laid  it  on  my  heart  to  go.  I  trusted 
and  prayed,  and  as  I  came  up  the  stairs  his  wife  said:  "Oh, 
Sister  Peterson,  I  am  so  afraid  he  will  do  as  he  said  he  would." 
I  told  her  I  could  not  believe  it.  I  had  not  been  there  long  when 
he  came  in  so  drunk  he  could  hardly  get  through  the  door.  He 
was  a  large  man.  He  came  in  and  shut  the  door  and  leaned  against 
it.  He  knew  me,  for  I  had  talked  to  him  at  < church.  "Do  you 
know  what  I  said?"  he  asked.  I  told  him  I  did.  "You  aren't  afraid?" 
he  inquired.  "No ;"  I  said,  "I  am  not,"  and  called  him  by  name. 
He  started  toward  me,  and  I  pulled  a  chair  close  by  my  side  and 
said:.  "Mr.  B — ,  come  and  sit  down,  and  let  me  talk; to  you." 
Again  he  said:  "Aint  yer  afraid  of  me?"  and  again  I  assured 
him  I  was  not.  "Well,  Sister  Peterson,  I  think  yer  about  right," 
and /he  took  the  chair  and  sat  down,  and  made  me  stay  to  supper. 
I  did  so,  and  he  requested  me  to  ask  the  blessing.  In  the  blessing 
I  asked  God  to  bless  the  father  and  husband  of  that  home;  and 
with  tears  he  said:  -"I  wish  I  could  be  good."  He  made  me  prom- 
ise to  come  back,  and  gave  me  a  half  dollar  for  car  fare,  and  went 
with  me  to  the  car.  He  was  still  under  the  influence  of  drink,  and 
as  we  were  going  down  the  steps  I  was  afraid  he  would  stumble 
and  fall  on  me.  We  got  down  all  right,  and  as  he  helped  me  on 
the  car  he  bade  me  good-night.  The  evil  spirits  were  in  subjection 
to  me  wherever  I  went.  It  is  no  wonder  that  I  rejoiced,  being 
as  blind  as  I  was.  The  time  came  when  my  spirit  must  give  up, 
and  lay  aside  all  these  things.  II  Thess.  2:13:  "Because  God  hath 
from  the  beginning  chosen  you  to  salvation,  through  the  sanctifica- 
tion  of  the  Spirit,  and  belief  of  "the  truth."  Not  only  my  body  but  my 
spirit  also.  When  I  told  them  I  had  laid  aside  everything;  that 
I  had  given  my  body  and  knew  the  hour  the  Lord  sanctified  me, 
a  member  of  the  church,  a  married  man  said:  "Sister  Peterson, 
you  will  be  running  off  with  some  man  now,  and, a  married  man 
at  that,  for  there  are  no  other  kind  of  Christians  who  do  that  but 
•those  that  are  sanctified."  But  the  joy  of /the  Lord  made  me  strong, 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  1 51 

and  I  did  not  mind  what  anyone  said,  for  God  had  given  me  this 
joy  that  gave  me  strength  when  I  passed  through  .persecution. 
It  was  not  of  myself  but  the  Lord.  When  I  led  the  meetings  I  told 
them  there  was  a  blessing,  but  not j one  should  stop  till  they  got  it. 
And  as  I  told  them,  this  passage  of  scripture  came  into  my  expe- 
rience as  it  came  into  Paul's  life,  when  he  said,  iruGal.  4:16:  "Am 
I  therefore  became  your  enemy  because  I  tell  you  the  truth?" 
One  evening  in  meeting  someone,  in  their  testimony,  opposed,  some- 
thing I  had  said.  I  do  not  remember  what  it  was-  The  Spirit 
descended  on  me,  and  before  I  knew  what  I  was  doing  I  was  in 
the  middle  of  the  floor,  walking  up  and  down  the  aisle  and 
saying:  "If  I  did  not  believe  every  word  in  this, blessed  old 
book  I  would  put  it  in  the  ashpit  and  stop  serving  God."  I  was 
swinging  the  bible  over  my  head.  I  was  in  earnest,  as  God  knows. 
I  was  told  that  some  of  those  present  went  to  Brother  Uzzell 
and  told  him  I  was  mad,  and  the  best  thing  he  could  do  was  to 
stop  me.  Then  Brother  Uzzell  asked  them  if  I  was  teaching  some- 
thing that  was  not  in  the  bible.  They  said  no.  Then  Brother  Uzzell 
said:  "Let  her  alone.  As  long  as  she  stays  within  the  lids  of 
the  bible  I  shall  not/ interfere."  And  he  never  did.  I  shall  never 
forget  Brother  Uzzell  for  the  trust  he  had  in  me,  with  all  the 
lies  that  were  told  to  him.  He  never  listened  to  one  of  themr! though 
he  has  been  censured  severely  for  standing  up  for  me.  God  has  blessed 
him,  and  will  bless  him  for  \trie  trust  he  had  in  me.  There  was 
enough  said  and  done  against  me  to  almost  turn  the  heart  of 
an  archangel,  if  such  were  possible,  but  I  have  always  found  a 
never-failing  friend  and  brother  and  father  in  dear  Brother  Uzzell. 
In  all  these  twenty  years,  when  I  have  gone  to  him  for  sympathy, 
or  help,  in  my  Christian  work,  or  advice  or  council,  he  has  been 
more  than  willing  and  ready  to  assist  me.  One  Friday  evening 
I  went  to  lead  the  meeting.  I  could  vnot  tell  why,  but  as  I  read  the 
lesson  and  talked  I  could  feel  every  word  I  said  come  back  to 
me,  as  one  who  throws  a  ball  against  the  wall  receives  it  back 
again.  Just  ias  plainly  I  could  feel  my  words  returning  to  me. 
Luke  10 :6:  "And  if  the  son  of  peace  be  there,  your  peace  shall 
rest  upon  it;  if  not,  it  shall  return  to  you  again."  Every  word 
returned  to  me.  What, could  I  do?  I  went,  the  next  week,  over  to 
the  tent  to  see  what  I  could  do.  I  had  already  told  Brother 
Uzzell  I  did  not  believe  I  could  stay  there,  and  he  told  me  to 
go.on  with  the  work  as  I  had,  and  pay  no  attention  to  anything, 
and  he  would  stand  by  me.  I  went  over  to  the  tent,  and  it  seemed 
to  me  I  had  gotten  into  a  hornet's  nest.  It  was  plain  that  I  was 
not  j  welcomed  there.  I  was  convinced,  after  this  second  effort, 
that  my  work  was  done  in  the  Tabernacle.  I  knew  Brother  Uzzell 


152  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

could  not  see  it  as  I  did,  and  I  hated  to  go  a  second  time  and 
tell  him  I.  could  not  stay,  when  he  had  always  been  so  kind.  He 
always  left  the  work  I  was  doing  to  my  judgment.  He  never  tried 
to  dictate  to  me.  He  never  .hindered  me  in  the  Spirit's  leadings; 
and  I  had  learned  to  love  the  work  so  it  seemed  it  would  break  my 
heart  to  go.  But  I  could  not  feel  any  leading,  .nor  think  but  that 
I  xpught  to  go.  I  asked  the  Lord  where  he  wanted  me  to  go. 
I  could  see  no  place  to  go.  I  knew  I  had  all  the  chance  in  the 
world  to  overcome  my  enemies,  for  I  knew  Brother  Uzzell  would 
stand  by  me;  and y with  all  of  this  reasoning  I  could  not  get  rid 
of  the  leading  to  go.  I  had  been  praying  for  two  years  for  the 
Lord  to  let  me  stay  a  little  longer,  and  now  I  was  convinced, my 
time  was  up.  Brother  and  Sister  Jacobs  said :  "Sister  Peterson, 
you  will  be  sorry  if  you  do  leave."  They  told  me  how  one  of  the  old 
mothers  in  Israel  had  talked  against  me.  There  are  too  many 
of  that  kind.  This  Sister  M —  had  a  daughter  of  her  own, ,  and 
in  deed  and  in  truth  it  was  commonly  known  she  did  not  bear 
a  good  name,  and  was  not  a  Christian.  The  mother  of  this  girl 
was  ready  to  say  all  she  could,  in  every  way  she  could,  to  down 
me;  but  I  never  heard  her  talk  about  her  own.  It  is  a  dreadful 
thing  for  one  mother  to  talk  about  another  mother's  daughter.  This 
same  mother  will  shake  hands  with  me  to  this  day,  and  when  I 
take  her  by  the  hand  I  know  she  has  done  all  she  could  to  harm 
me.  As  she  stands  in  the  class-room  to  give  her  testimony,  I 
think :  "Well,  if  she  had  done  all  she  could  to  harm  me,  I  know 
I  have  done  nothing  to  wrong  her  in  any  way."  I  cannot  see  how 
anyone  can  stand  up  and  say  they  are  children  of  Gt>d,  with  any 
kind  of  a  memory,  and  with  a  clear  .  conscience,  and  talk  about 
God's  children.  They  are  the  ones  who  never  confess  their  faults 
as  God  says :  "Confess  your  faults  one  to  another."  I  never 
hear  them  say  they  have  talked  about  this  one,  or  that  one.  Per- 
haps they  do  not  know  that  God's  word  says  to  speak  evil  of 
no  one.  Whether  I  was  guilty  or  not,  it  was  not  for  her,  or  any- 
one else,  to  speak  evil  of  me,  or  to  try  to  harm  me  in  that  way, 
when  God  plainly  forbids  it — and  she  a  mother  in  Israel !  They 
surely  get  to  where  they  have  no  .shame,  or  she  could  not  look 
me  in  the  face  when  she  knows,  and  knows  I  know,  and  others 
know.  I  thank  God  for  the  grace  he  gave  me  to^.keep  me  so  I  can 
look  man,  woman  or  child,  old  or  young,  in  the  face  and  say  I  have 
never  spoken  evil  of  them,  or  made  harm  of  what  they  have  said  or 
done.  I  only  speak  of  this  that  others  may  take  heed  of  the  scrip- 
ture I  have  quoted  in  this  book,  and  lay  aside  that  sin  before  it 
is  too  late;  and  escape  many  a  punishment  they  would  otherwise 
receive  on  this  earth ;  for  God  will  not  let  those  go  unpunished 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  153 

who  wrong  each  other  with  their  tongues.  It  is  no  wonder  so 
many  cannot  get  along  and  prosper.  I  am  not  surprised  at  the 
grocery  and  rent  bills,  and  borrowed  money  they  will  go  to  judg- 
ment owing;  and  all  because  they  talk  about  one  another.  There 
is  too  much  of  this,  and  I  must  condemn  it. 

There  is  one  I  can  think  of  now  who  has  professed  sanctifi- 
cation  for  years.  You  can  hear  him  say  he  is  sanctified  for  two 
blocks,  but  I  know  he  has  repeated  things  that  would  harm  others. 
He  has  spoken  evil  of  those  whom  he  will  meet  with  a  smile  and 
shake  hands  with  and  call  them  "Sister",  or  "Brother."  Now,  that 
is  a  nice  kind  of  a  brother  to  have,  isn't  it?  All  I  have  said  or 
will  say  will  be  what  I  know  personally,  largely  what  so-called 
Christians  have  said  and  done  to  me — and  for  an  object — that 
everyone  who  reads  this  book  may  never  speak  evil  of  anyone. 
You  have  no  more  right  to  do  this  than  the  man  or  woman  has 
who  drinks,  and  I  will  prove  it  to  you  as  I  get  further  along.  It 
would  be  beter  for  this  kind  of  people  to  take  a  knife  and  cut  their 
victim's  throat  than  to  try  to  kill  them, by  inches  with  the  tongue. 
Yet  some  are  so*  blind  that  they  think  they  can  talk  like  that  and 
then  have  power  with  God  and  the  people !  They  think  that  if 
someone  is  converted  at  their  meetings,  or  under  their  preaching, 
it  will  make  things  all  right  with  God.  But  God  tells  us  his  word 
is  preached  in  contention.  Phil.  1:15,  16:  "Some  indeed  preach 
Christ  even  of  envy  and  strife ;  and  some  also  of  good  will.  The 
one  preaching  Christ  of  contention,  not  sincerely,  supposing  to  add 
affliction  to  my  bonds."  God  says  his  word  will  not  return  to 
him  void.  They  do  not  stop  to  think  of  those  who  came  to  the 
Lord  and  said :  "Have  we  not  cast  out  devils  in  your  name,  and 
done  wonderful  works  in  your  name?"  And  he  will  tell  them: 
"Depart  from  me."  Eph.  2  :g :  "Not  of  works,  lest  any  man 
shall  boast."  I  tell  you  God  wants  us  to  have  his  spirit,  and 
the  fruits  of  the  spirit,  and  he  wants  us  to  live  up  to  his  word  in 
every  sense  of  the  word.  You  must  let  him  judge  your  works,  and 
works  alone  will  never  save  anyone.  It  must  be  a  bible  j  life.  So 
many  think  their  desire  for  doing  good  is  from  God  when  it  is 
nothing  but  a  natural  desire  to  do  good  to  others.  I  have  seen 
those  who  were  never  converted  love  to  do  good.  Do  you  think 
their  good  works  are  going  to  save  them  when  they  were  never 
converted?  Just  as  so  many  think  after  they  are  converted  that 
works  are  going  to  get  them  into  heaven,  when  it  is  nothing  but 
the  Spirit  of  God  in  us  that  will  save  us.  We  must  do  as  Paul  did 
after  we  are  saved.  I  Cor.  9 127 :  "But  I  keep  under  my  body,  and 
bring  it  into  subjection:  lest  that  by  any  means  when  I  have 
preached  to  others,  I  myself  should  be  a  cast-away."  Who  did 


154  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

greater  works  than  Paul  up  to  the  'time  he  was  beheaded  at  Rome 
on  Nero's  block?  We  must  keep  under  our  bodies,  and  bring 
them  into  subjection.  I  find  the  way  I  have  suffered  from  some 
of  the  .leading  workers  of  Denver  the  tongue  is  the  last  member 
of  the  body  that  is  brought  under  subjection,  and  I  find  many 
of  our  Holy  Ghost  workers  carrying  about  with  them  deadly  poison. 
You  can  see  by  reading  James  3:8:  "But  the  tongue  can  no  man 
tame;  it  is  an  unruly  evil,  full  of  deadly  poison."  Oh,  how  the 
tongues  from  the  churches  have  poisoned  my  home!  The  6th 
verse  of  ,this  chapter  reads :  "And  the  tongue  is  a  fire,  a  world 
of  iniquity ;  so  is  the  tongue  among  our  members,  that  it  defileth 
the  whole  body,  and  setteth  on  fire  the  course  of  nature;  and  it 
is  set  on  fire  of  hell."  Let  a  tongue  get  started  in  any  church  in 
the  world,  and  (it  will  defile  the  whole  church.  Let  the  root  of 
biterness  spring  up  in  one  member  of  any  church,  and  see  what 
the  result  will  be.  In  I  Cor.  i  :io,  the  Lord  tells  us:  "Let  there 
be  no  division  among  you."  They  should  get  after  the  one  who  is 
making  the  division,  the  one  who  has  bitterness  in  his  heart, 
who  has  this  poison  under  the  tongue,  who  is  setting  the  whole 
church  on  fire.  James  says  in  the  third  chapter,  5th  verse : 
"Behold  how!  great  a  matter  a  little  fire  kindleth."  Let  the 
right  one  get  hold  of  a  little  fire  of  envy'  or  jealousy,  and  soon 
it  is  a  great  matter.  Envy  will  not  have  to  go  far  to  kindle  a 
great  discord.  And  what  does  the  Lord  say  about  that?  Read 
Prov.  6:16:  "These  six  things  doth  the  Lord  hate:  yea,  seven  are 
an  abomination  unto  him."  Now  from  the  i6th  verse  to  the  20th 
you  will  find  the  seven  things.  The  first  of  the  seven  is  a  proud 
look.  There  are  plenty  ,who  act  as  well  as  look  proud.  Second, 
a  lying  tongue.  Third,  hands  that  shed  innocent  blood,  which 
includes  children.  Fourth,  an  heart  that  deviseth  wicked  imagina- 
tions. How  many  are  they  who  think  wrong  things  about  others 
in  their  hearts,  yet  do  not  say  a  word  about  it?  But  God  sees 
and  knows  the  thoughts  of  the  heart,  and  she  plainly  tells  us  in 
his  word  that  he  deals  with  the  heart.  The  fifth  thing  God  hates 
is  feet  that  be  swift  in  running  to  mischief.  Oh,  how  swift  a  story 
will  be  carried  from  one  house  to  another,  from  one  mouth  to 
another,  whether  it  be  a  lie  or  the  truth !  It  will  swiftly  go,  and 
professors  of  the  Holy  Ghost  will  often  be  the  ones  to  carry  it. 
This  I  know  from  personal  knowledge  and  experience.  Sixth, 
a  cfalse  witness  that  speaketh  lies.  Do  you  see  the  difference 
between  a  lying  tongue  -and  one  that  speaketh  lies  ?  One  that  will 
hear  a  story  a  lying  tongue  has  told,  and  then  go  and  speak  of 
this  story  or  lie.  That/is  the  one  that  speaketh  lies  or  repeateth 
stories.  Neither  a  saint  nor  a  sinner  can  repeat  a  story  but  what 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  155 

they  will  repeat  more  than  ever  happened.  The  seventh  is  the  one 
that  God^ays  is  an  abomination  unto  him,  and  it  is  this:  "He  that 
soweth  discord  among  brethren."  We  have  all  seen  the  discord  that 
rises  among  members  of  a  church,  and  this  discord  is  usually 
caused  by  members  repeating  things  they  have  heard.  God  says 
he  hates  these  other  things,  but  this  one  thing,  discord  among  his 
children,  is  an  abomination  unto  him.  Oh,  how  is  it  they  will 
not  heed  God's  word.  God  says  every  true  child  of  his  should 
watch  every  word  they  speak,  that  they  do/ not  say  one  word  that 
would  cause  discord.  It  causes  hard  feelings  and  the  root  of 
bitterness  will  spring  up.  Heb.  12:15:  "Lest  any  root  of  biterness 
springing  up  trouble  you,  and  thereby  many  be  defiled."  These 
are  the  little  foxes  that  are  killing  the  vines  and  sapping  the 
church  of  her  strength,  and  they  are  settling  down  and  going  to 
sleep,  and  losing  the  power  of  the  Spirit,  and  getting  lukewarm, 
all  because  of  hard  feelings  toward  one  another,  because  of  some- 
thing someone  has  said,  and  the  love  of  many  has  grown  cold 
because  of  iniquity  abounding.  Be  wise  as  a  serpent  and  harm- 
less as  a  dove.  God  tells  us  the  children  of  God  are  not  as  wise 
as  the  children  of  the  world.  If  they  were  they  would  locate  the 
devil  'in  the  one  that  is  always  speaking  evil  of  another.  Let  us 
not  be  as  simple  and  near-sighted  and  shallow-minded  and  as  ignor- 
ant as  those  spoken  of  in  Matt.  7 122,  23,  who  wanted  to  get 
into  heaven,  and  had  preached  and  not  practiced.  It  makes  me  think 
of  some  people  I  have  heard  who  are  always  talking  about  their 
preaching,  and  how  many  devils  were  cast  out  and  how  many 
were  converted,  and  of  the  wonderful  work  that  was  done.  Follow 
them  home.  All  the  way  they  are  talking  about  someone,  and 
when  they  get  home  they  get  angry  and  scold,  all  the  time  wrangling 
about  something.  There  is  nothing  right.  /Tell  me  how  they 
can  have  the  Spirit  of  Christ — how  can  they  have  the  Spirit  and 
speak  evil  of  one  another.  Matt.  23:3:  "All  therefore  whatsoever 
they  bid  you  observe,  that  observe  and  do ;  but  do  not  ye  after 
their  works;  for  they  say,  and  do  not."  Now,  they  who  are  not 
living  as  they  should,  but  are  living  as  I  have  mentioned,  are  the 
ones  you  'must  follow  when  you  preach,  but  don't  do  as  they  do 
at  home.  They  are  like  those  in  II  Peter  i  :g :  "But  he  that  lacketh 
these  things  is  blind,  and  cannot  see  afar  off,  and  hath  forgotten 
that  he  was  purged  from  his  old  sins."  Add  those  things  in  the 
6th  and  7th  verses,  and  then  you  will  not  be  unfruitful. 

I  saw  there  was  nothing  left  for  me  to  do  but  to  go  to  Brother 
Uzzell  and  tell  him  I  must  go.  The  Lord  was  leading  me,  and  my 
work  was  ended  there.  Brother  Uzzell  asked  me  where  the  Lord 
was  leading  me,  and  I  told  him  I  did  not  know,  and  he  said: 


156  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

"Sister  Peterson,  it  is  nothing  but  the  devil  leading  you.  I  do 
not  believe  the  Lord  has  anything  to  do  with  it.  "  "Well,"  I 
said,  "I  must  try  the  Spirit  anyway."  As  I  put  on  my  gloves 
to  go,  Brother  Uzzell  asked  me  if  I  were  going  to  walk  over 
to  town  or  take  the  car.  When  we  got  to  the  car  Brother  Uzzell 
said:  "Would  you  mind  walking  over?"  He  lived  on  the  North 
Side,  and  it  was  several  blocks  to  where  I  transferred.  As  we 
were  walking  over  we  talked  about  the  wonderful  way  the  Lord 
had  blessed  the  work  at  the  Tabernacle  for  the  last  eight  years. 
He  said :  "Sister  Peterson,  I  would  rather  have  any  member  of 
the  church  leave  than  you."  Oh,  how  sad  it  made  my  heart  when 
he  spoke  like  that,  for  it  was  so  hard  for  me  to  go  away,  and 
when  I  knew  he  did  not  want  me  to  go  my  heart  melted,  and 
it  seemed  I  could  not  go.  I  bade  Brother  Uzzell  bood-bye  and  took 
the  car  for  home.  When  I  got  home  I  had  a  good  cry  and  told 
the  Lord  I  would  obey  him  regardless  of  anything.  My  little  girl 
was  sick  that  summer  with  scarlet  fever.  A  week  before  she  was 
taken  down  I  stopped  in  at  Sister  S — 's.  She  was  fixing  a  little  lunch 
on  the  table  for  a  man  who  was  sitting  on  the  porch.  She  said 
to  me :  "Sister  Peterson,  some  one  must  help  this  poor  fellow  get 
work.  He  has  nothing  to  wear  and  no  place  to  stay."  She  asked 
me  if  I  knew  him.  I  told  her  I  had  met  him.  I  told  him  to  come 
up  to  the  house  and  I  would  give  him  something  to  do.  I  had 
just  gotten  a  poor  fellow  a  job  and  some  clothes  two  days  before. 
He  was  in  a  worse  condition  than  this  one.  I  took  him  and  fixed  a 
bed  for  him,  got  him  a  change  of  clothing  and  got  him  a  pair  of  pants 
and  a  coat.  I  had  him  take  a  good  bath.  He  was  converted  and  got 
work  and  stopped  drinking.  This  was  ten  years  ago.  Three  years 
ago  I  heard  from  him,  and  he  was  doing  well.  I  expect  to  meet 
him  in  heaven.  I  had  always  had  such  good  success  on  this  line, 
that  I  was  sure  I  could  help  the  one  Sister  S —  asked  me  to  help. 
There  was  one  drunkard  I  was  the  means  of  setting  right,  but 
I  could  not  tell  how  many  times  he  fell  afterwards.  I  would  go  after 
him  into  a  saloon  and  take  him  home.  One  week  I  staid  nearly 
all  the  week,  and  even  took  medicine  to  him  where  he  was  working, 
till  the  effects  of  the  alcohol  would  get  out  of  his  system.  What 
I  did  was  the  means  of  him  raising  his  family.  The  next  day  I 
got  a  bed  ready  to  keep  this  poor  fellow,  and  the  first  thing  I  did  was 
to  get  him  something  to  wear.  He  had  not  even  a  pair  of  hose  nor 
any  underclothing.  He  had  helped  someone  paint  a  house,  and  had 
brown  paint  all  over  his  trousers,  and  I  knew  he  could  get  no  kind  of 
work  looking  as  he  did.  He  is  not  the  only  one.  Many  get  down 
like  this  with  no  one  to  help  them  up.  He  was  not  the  first,  and 
has  not  been  the  last,  thank  God,  that  I  have  been  able  to  help. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  157 

Poorhouses  and  farms,  county  hospitals,  relief  organizations,  and 
county  commissioners  have  often  helped  me  with  cases  where  I 
was  not  able  to  do  all  that  needed  to  be  done.  They  have  always 
kindly  assisted  me  in  my  labor  of  love.  But  with  all  they  do,  it 
does  not  take  one  ounce  of  responsibility  from  every  family  in 
the  world.  I  meet  many  Christians  who  say  to  me :  "I  pay  taxes 
to  keep  these  kind  of  people,  and  I  feel  I  have  done  my  part."  They 
are  following  their  own  selfish  desires,  and  do  not  go  to  God's  word 
to  see  what  he  says  about  this  line  of  work.  I  pay  taxes,  and  have 
for  eighteen  years,  and  I  presume  Job  did,  from  the  property 
he  had,  and  still  he  did  what  he  could  for  the  down-trodden  in 
his  own  land.  The  greatest  tax-payer  in  the  world  is  not  freed  from 
the  responsibility  of  taking  some  poor  man  or  woman  into  his 
home.  I  do  not  care  how  stylish  your  home  may  be,  or  how  ele 
gantly  you  may  have  it  furnished,  or  how  richly  you  may  have 
your  table  laden  with  silver  and  dainties,  that  is  no  reason  why 
you  should  not  have  the  blessing  of  God  rest  upon  your  home ; 
and  there  is  no  other  way  that  you,  my  dear  brother  or  sister, 
can  get  a  bible  blessing  on  your  home  or  children.  Without  this 
blessing  from  God  your  home  will  be  like  the  chaff  before  the 
wind.  The  time  will  come  sooner  or  later  when  you  or  your 
children  or  children's  children  will  reap  what  you  have  sown. 
There  is  no  other  prosperity  promised  in  his  word.  If  you  will 
bear  with  me  I  will  show  you  why.  First  of  all,  they  need  your 
influence,  and  your  presence,  and  your  advice,  and  your  sympathy, 
which  they  cannot  get  at  any  of  the  institutions  kept  by  the  taxes  that 
you  pay.  They  must  feel  that  you  love  them,  and  that  you  have 
their  interest  at  heart,  and  then  they  will  feel  at  home.  Your 
manner  must  not  be  such  that  every  act  or  look  makes  them  feel 
that  their  room  is  better  than  their  company.  I  know  what  I  am 
talking  about,  for  I  have  seen  this  tried  too  often.  Do  not  let 
them  feel  their  position  or  condition  in  life.  You  must  treat  them 
as  your  own  company ;  and  when  you  have  their  love  and  con- 
fidence most  of  them  will  do  anything  for  you.  It  will  encour- 
age them  to  make  something  of  themselves.  Your  presence  will 
be  a  heaven  to  their  souls,  and  they  will  not  long  to  be  out  of 
your  company,  and  feel  a  relief  when  they  are.  I  want  to  say, 
before  we  go  any  farther,  the  most  humble  home  or  family,  I  care 
not  how  poor,  can  show  their  love  to  fallen  humanity  in  this  way. 
It  was  among  the  poor  our  Lord  was  found.  Elisha  did  not  go  to 
the  elegant  homes  in  the  time  of  famine.  He  went  to  the  widow 
who  made  her  own  living.  That  is  why  I  say  we  are  not  too  poor 
to  do  something.  It  would  bring  more  than  one  blessing  to  the 
homes  of  the  poor  if  they  only  had  a  place  at  the  table  for  some 


158  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

poor,  down-trodden  outcast.  It  would  not  be  long  till  they  could 
afford  a  bed  for  them.  The  Lord  would  bless  you  in  the  wonder- 
ful manner  he  did  the  widow  with  her  meal.  God's  won- 
ders are  just  the  same  to-day.  What  is  the  scripture  written  for, 
if  it  is  not  as  an  example  to  us?  "For  all  scripture  is  given  by 
inspiration  of  God,  and  is  profitable  for  doctrine,  for  reproof,  foi 
correction,  for  instruction  in  righteousness."  (II  Tim.  3:16.)  We 
all  know  it  was  profitable  for  this  lonely  widow.  She  had  no  object 
but  a  heavenly  one,  and  was  rewarded;  and  so  will  we  be,  for 
God  says  if  you  give  a  cup  of  cold  water  in  his  name  he  will 
reward  you.  If  we  give  as  we  should,  we  will  be  called  upon  to 
exercise  self-denial  and  sacrifice.  If  it  is  not  a  sacrifice,  your 
own  reason  will  tell  you  you  are  not  worthy  of  such  reward.  If 
you  give  only  when  it  is  pleasing  to  you,  and  easy,  you  surely  could 
not  expect  much  of  a  reward.  Let  your  sacrifice  be  for  your  neigh- 
bor, for  you  love  your  neighbor  as  yourself;  because  you  love 
their  souls  well  enough  to  make  any  kind  of  sacrifice,  and  all  the 
time  live  in  hopes  of  salvation  for  their  precious  souls,  for  whom 
Christ  died. 

I  know  these  institutions  kept  by  the  county  are  not  like  the 
church's  work,  because  it  is  done  too  much  on  a  business  plan,  and 
not  enough  on  the  plan  of  love.  How  do  those  poor,  down-trodden 
outcasts  know  whether  you  love  them  or  not,  when  you  have  not 
taken  them  by  the  hand  and  told  them  of  the  love  of  God?  You 
need  not  tell  them  you  love  them.  If  you  have  the  real  love  of 
God  in  your  heart  for  them  they  will  know  it,  and  it  will  draw 
them  to  you,  and  you  will  be  able  to  point  them  to  Jesus.  The 
way  the  organizations  look  after  the  poor  and  outcasts  is  so  much 
like  feeding  animals.  They  get  so  much  food  and  clothing  from 
those  who  are  paid  to  look  after  them,  and  not  a  word  of  love  or 
sympathy;  and  most  of  them  are  discouraged,  and  long  to  get 
away.  Why?  Because  there  is  not  enough  love  there,  and  but 
little  spirituality.  Just  something  to  eat  and  something  to  wear  and 
a  place  to  sleep,  like  so  many  cattle,  is  not  all  that  kind  of  people 
want.  They  want  love  to  help  them  in  Spirit.  Then  we  who 
have  homes  and  loved  ones  should  help  them.  There  are  some 
institutions  with  real,  spiritual  leaders;  but  there  are  more  with- 
out them,  and  after  all  we  know  it  is  not  like  home.  Everything 
fails  to  do  the  good  home  influences .  can  do.  It  almost  takes  a 
heart  and  spirit  of  steel  to  reject  God  in  a  Christian  home.  If 
they  are  determined  to  be  wicked  they  will  not  stay  in  the  home 
long,  for  it  would  be  hell  to  them.  Their  lives  will  change,  or 
they  will  go  away.  If  they  stay  they  will  be  made  better  men 
and  women.  Everyone  I  have  had  in  my  home  has  been  helped 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  159 

by  living  with  me,  and  has  learned  lessons  for  his  good  in  this 
world  and  the  world  to  come.  If  you  do  not  see  the  fruits  of 
your  labor,  leave  it  with  God,  and  he  will  not  let  your  labor  be 
in  vain.  I  know  from  personal  work  and  experience.  Another 
reason  institutions  cannot  do  the  work  they  might  is  that  they  are 
hindered  in  this  way:  In  homes  for  fallen  women,  where  one 
is  fully  determined  to  forsake  the  old  life  forever,  and  is  put  in 
a  room  with  a  girl  who  is  not  so  determined  to  live  a  Christian  life, 
very  soon  the  determined  girl  loses  her  determination  and  gets 
weaker  and  weaker  till  she  tires  of  trying  and  goes  back  to  the 
old  way.  Where  there  is  one  thoroughly  converted,  there  are 
three  failures.  Still  with  all  this  discouragement  one  soul  pays  for 
the  labor.  It  is  far  better  for  them  in  a  Christian  home,  where 
they  hear  none  of  the  foolish  talk  heard  in  a  public  home.  No 
matter  how  true  a  Christian  the  matron  may  be,  or  how  stern 
the  rules,  they  cannot  check  the  influence  one  girl  may  have  upon 
another ;  and  that  is  why  I  believe  in  home  work.  A  girl  or  woman 
who  is  not  in  earnest  will  soon  become  tired  of  the  home  filled  with 
the  love  of  God,  and  you  cannot  keep  her.  I  advise  everyone  to  go 
to  God  and  get  love  in  their  hearts  that  they  may  love  the  girl  as 
they  would  love  their  own — and  even  more — so  that  they  may  be 
able  to  show  all  patience;  we  must  have  this  love  or  we  cannot 
win  souls  for  God.  I  Cor.  13 13 :  "Though  I  bestow  all  my  goods 
to  feed  the  poor,  and  though  I  give  my  body  to  be  burned  and 
have  not  love,  it  profiteth  me  nothing."  Do  you  not  see  our  labors 
will  be  burned  in  the  day  of  judgment  if  we  have  not  this  love? 
Think  of  the  vile  places  in  the  city  of  Denver!  It  seems  if  the 
city  officials  knew  of  all  the  wickedness  that  is  practiced,  things 
I  would  not  think  of  speaking  of  in  public  or  private,  which  I 
could  not  believe  could  be  practiced  among  the  human  race  if  I 
did  not  know  it  to  be  true,  they  would  close  them.  I  have  seen 
in  the  homes  where  they  had  head  lice  and  body  lice,  and  only  once 
did  I  get  them  on  myself.  It  was  one  wintry  day  I  had  been  to 
see  a  drunken  woman.  She  lived  on  the  alley  in  a  little  board  shed, 
large  enough  to  have  a  single  bed  and  a  stove  and  a  table.  Her 
table  was  a  dry  goods  box  and  her  bed  a  straw  tick  on  the  floor, 
and  you  could  not  tell  the  color  of  the  tick  for  the  dirt,  and 
the  dirty  quilts  without  a  doubt  would  breed  lice. 

After  I  came  home  I  was  warming  my  hands  over  the  stove, 
and  happened  to  look  down,  and  there  on  the  front  of  my  dress 
was  a  large  body  louse  running  over  my  buttons  making  his  way 
under  my  arm.  I  was  not  long  in  knocking  him  onto  the  stove. 
It  sent  a  shudder  over  me  to  watch  this  fellow  roast  on  the  stove. 
I  tried  so  hard  to  get  this  poor  woman  to  change  her  way  of  living, 


160  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

but  one  bitter  cold  night  not  long  after  that  she  got  drunk  and 
lost  her  way  to  her  little  shed  and  froze  to  death  in  a  coal  house. 
As  regards  this  one  that  I  have  spoken  to  you  about: 

He  came  and  cut  my  lawn,  and  there  was  such  a  sad  expres- 
sion on  his  face  my  heart  was  filled  with  sympathy  for  him.  I 
began  to  pray  the  Lord  to  help  me  get  him  work.  I  went  to 
everybody  I  knew.  In  the  meantime  he  was  sleeping  and  getting 
his  meals  at  my  house.  He  had  been  stopping  with  us  a  week  when 
my  little  girl  took  scarlet  fever.  I  had  no  one  to  help  me,  and 
this  brother  offered  his  services,  for  he  had  already  given  his 
heart  to  God,  and  he  could  look  after  her  through  the  day  and 
I  tended  her  at  night.  It  was  not  long  till  the  child  was  well,  then 
I  tried  again  to  get  him  work  and  failed.  One  morning  he  said: 
"I  will  try  to-day,  and  if  I  cannot  get  work  I  will  leave  the  city." 
I  asked  him  what  he  would  do  when  he  had  no  means  to  go  on. 
He  said :  "Sister  Peterson,  I  am  so'  tired  of  life  I  do  not  care  what 
becomes  of  me.  If  I  could  die  I  would  be  happy.  It  would  end 
this  struggle."  "Now  Brother  J,"  I  said,  "there  is  no  need  for 
you  to  talk  like  that,  because  your  life  has  been  s.uch  a  failure. 
There  is  no  reason  it  should  always  be  so.  Now  let  us  pray  to-day, 
and  you  put  your  whole  trust  in  the  Lord,  and  he  will  help  you." 
We  knelt  down  and  prayed,  and  the  Lord  surely  gave  me  the 
spirit  to  pray.  He  started  out  to  see  what  he  could  do.  As  ,1 
was  doing  the  morning  work  the  Spirit  came  heavily  upon  me 
to  continue  to  pray.  I  said :  "Lord,  you  know  how  I  have  been 
praying  for  several  weeks,  and  you  know  I  would  do  anything  if 
that  poor,  roaming  brother  could  get  something  to  do."  Little  did 
I  think, the  Lord  was  going  to  put  me  to  the  test.  Not  dreaming 
of  such  a  thought  coming  to  me,  as  I  went  from  the  kitchen  to 
the  parlor,  these  thoughts,  just  like  words,  they  were  so  plain, 
came  to  me :  "Would  you  be  willing  for  Mr.  Peterson  to  go 
without  work  in  order  that  that  brother  could  be  provided  for?" 
I  stopped  a  moment  and  wondered  if  I  could  do  that.  You  can 
have  some  idea  how  I  felt.  That  was  coming  near  home,  and  for 
a  moment  I  did  not  know  whether  I  could  say  yes  from  the  heart 
or  not.  I  said :  "Lord,  you  know  I  said  when  I  prayed  I  was 
willing,  if  you  could  give  him  work,  to  do  anything.  I  did  not 
know  you  were  going  to  ask  such  a  thing  of  me.  Lord,  you  know 
I  meant  it."  I  felt  if  something  was  not  done  he  would  surely 
put  an  end  to  his  life,  so  I  said :  "Yes,  Lord,  anything ;  only 
give  that  man  work."  I  was  in  dead  earnest  by  this  time,  and  the 
Lord  knew  it.  We  had  our  home  paid  for  and  a  few  hundred  dol- 
lars beside,  and  I  thought  we  could  get  along  a  while  if  the  Lord 
wanted  to  put  me  to  that  test.  I  knew  the  Lord  would  not  let 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  l6l 

its  go  hungry,  for  it  was  one  of  his  promises  to  provide,  and 
I  wondered  if  the  Lord  would  let  Mr.  Peterson  get  out  of  work. 
It  was  not  two  hours  till  I  saw  him  coming,  and  I  said:  "Can  it 
be  he  has  quit,  and  the  Lord  has  taken  me  at  my  word?"  As  he 
came  in,  he  said:  "Where  is  Brother  J — ?"  "He  went  away  after 
breakfast  and  has  not  returned."  "Well,"  he  said,  "I  have  had 
a  strange  experience  this  morning."  I  was  anxious  to  know  how 
the  Lord  had  answered  my  prayer.  "Well,"  he  said,  "I  was  as 
busy  as  possible  about  my  work  this  morning,  and  all  at  once  some- 
thing came  to  me  and  said :  'You  go  down  to  the  coach  ya  d ;  they 
want  a  man/ "  He  said  he  dropped  everything  and  went,  and 
found  the  foreman  and  asked  him  if  he  wanted  a  man.  He  said: 
"Yes;  I  do.  I  just  discharged  a  man  an  hour  ago,  and  I  want  one 
right  now."  Mr.  Peterson  told  him  he  had  a  man  for  him.  He 
said:  "I  do  not  know  whether  I  can  find  him  to-day  or  not." 
"Let  him  come  in  the  morning,"  said  the  foreman.  I  said :  "Thank 
the  Lord."  Then  I  told  him  how  I  had  prayed,  and  he  said  there 
was  surely  something  came  to  him;  he  realized  it  as  plainly  as 
anything  in  his  life.  If  we  only  could  realize  the  leading  of  the 
Spirit!  But  the  Lord  has  almost  to  knock  us  down,  or  send 
us  some  terrible  experience  before  we  can  be  led  by  him.  There 
are  but  few  who  are  willing  to  listen  to  the  thoughts,  and  inspi- 
rations, and  leadings  that  come.  If  a  passage  of  scripture  does 
come  to  them,  they  cannot  see  it  was  the  Spirit  that 
brought  it.  They  think  it  only  just  happened.  That  is  why  so 
few  are  led  by  the  Spirit  of  God.  Common  sense  and  reason  should 
show  anyone  there  .is  no  other  way  the  Spirit  could  lead  them ;  for 
he  is  a  Spirit,  and  he  will  come  to  us  like  a  Spirit.  The  Lord  says 
the  Spirit  is  like  the  wind;  it  must  be  felt,  and  not  heard  or  seen. 
If  we  do  not  let  our  feelings  lead  us,  how  can  we  be  led?  If  we 
do  not  trust,  and  wait,  and  look,  and  believe,  then  when  the  Spirit 
does  come,  as  I  have  told  you,  and  you  do  not  yield  yourself 
and  act  upon  these  feelings,  and  answer  them,  how  are  you  going 
to  learn  anything?  The  more  you  yield  and  obey,  the  plainer  they 
will  come  to  you.  It  will  soon  be  twenty  years  since  I  reasoned 
with  these  influences,  and  have  been  governed  by  them.  No  one 
can  get  my  attention  any  more  readily  then  these  leadings.  I  have 
proved  and  tested  them  all  these  years,  and  have  found,  with- 
out doubt,  it  is  the  Holy  Ghost  and  the  holy  angels  that  bring 
us  messages;  and  the  Holy  Ghost  leading  us,  for  the  Lord  tells 
us  he  gives  his  angels  charge  over  us.  And  then  to  think  how 
dumb,  and  lifeless,  and  short-sighted  we  are  in  these  experiences! 
God  never  intended  we  should  be  so  ignorant.  The  Holy  Ghost 
will  lead  us  and  teach  us  if  we  will  only  learn  how  to  be  led. 

11 


l62  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

Brother  J —  did  not  come  back  till  late  that  evening.  I  could 
see  before  he  spoke  he  had  nothing  in  view,  but  I  asked  him  if 
the  Lord  had  answered  our  morning  prayer.  He  said  it  did  not 
look  that  way,  and  I  said :  "The  Lord  has  granted  our  request,  and 
you  can  go  to  work  in  the  morning."  His  face  brightened,  a  cloud 
seemed  to  lift  from  his  life.  Once  more  hope  burned  in  his  soul. 
We  got  him  a  lunch-bucket  and  some  overalls,  and  told  him  he 
could  stay  with  us  till  he  earned  enough  to  do  for  himself.  He 
paid  for  his  board  that  month  and  got  himself  some  clothes.  He 
staid  another  month  with  us,  but  I  do  not  remember,  now,  how  much 
longer  he  staid.  Anyway,  he  got  too  much  money,  and  like  so  many 
others,  could  not  stand  prosperity,  and  began  drinking.  I  talked 
and  prayed  with  him  and  got  him  to  stop  for  a  whole  month,  but 
when  pay-day  came  it  was  the  same  thing  again.  I  told  him  he 
could  not  stay  with  us  any  longer.  He  had  money  enough  to  do 
him  a  little  while.  It  was  not  long  till  he  was  out  of  work,  and 
again  he  came  to  me  for  help,  with  the  promise  he  would  stop 
drinking,  for  he  had  learned  a  lesson.  He  staid  at  the  house  till 
I  found  work  for  him  again  and  he  was  once  more  on  his  feet,  then 
he  boarded  down  town.  He  held  that  position  over  a  year.  I  would 
go  down  to  the  store  to  see  how  he  was  getting  along.  But  it  was 
not  long  till  he  again  became  careless,  and  the  man  he  worked 
for  said  if  he  did  not  stop  drinking  he  could  not  keep  him.  Again 
I  took  him  back  into  my  home  till  he  was  once  more  on  his  feet, 
for  he  had  spent  his  money.  He  stopped  drinking  again.  His 
wages  were  small,  and  when  he  spent  his  money  for  drink  he 
got  behind  in  his  room  rent  and  board.  He  had  no  money  to  pay 
for  laundry.  Then  to  encourage  and  help  him,  I  would  do  his 
washing  and  mend  his  clothes  for  him.  He  would  stay  sober 
but  a  few  weeks  at  a  time,  till  I  felt  there  was  no  need  of  trying 
any  longer.  I  always  let  him  stay  at  my  house  for  less  than  he 
could  stay  anywhere  else,  and  in  this  way  enabled  him  to  get 
on  his  feet,  financially  and  spiritually.  This  experience  of  my 
life  was  thirteen  years  ago.  I  was  in  the  Haymarket  Mission,  and 
had  taken  an  interest  in  this  brother  after  I  had  quit  the  work  at 
the  Tabernacle,  but  before  I  went  to  the  Mission,  for  it  was  al- 
most a  year  from  the  time  I  gave  up  the  work  at  the  Tabernacle 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  163 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

IHAD  been  leading  and  helping  with  meetings  in  a  tent  at  Thirty- 
first  and  Market  streets,  and  I  had  been  to  a  mission  on  the 

West  Side  and  could  not  feel  the  Lord  wanted  me  in  either 
of  those  places,  so  one  morning  Brother  S —  asked  me  if  I  had  left 
the  Tabernacle.  I  told  him  I  had  stopped  working  there,  and  was 
waiting  for  the  Lord  to  show  me  where  he  wanted  me  to  work. 
Then  Brother  S —  told  me  of  the  Haymarket  Mission.  I  had  heard 
of  this  place  several  weeks  before,  but  little  did  I  dream  of  going 
there  to  work  when  I  left  the  Tabernacle.  At  this  time  I  did 
not  know  it  existed.  Brother  S —  said  they  needed  workers,  and 
he  had  told  Brother  P —  about  me;  but  he  wanted  to  be  sure  I 
had  left  the  Tabernacle  before  he  said  anything.  I  told  him  I  was 
convinced  the  Lord  did  not  want  me  at  the  Tabernacle  any  longer 
that  he  had  taken  my  power  from  me,  and  I  was  compelled  to 
stop ;  and  now  I  was  willing  to  go  any  place  where  he  would  bless 
me  and  give  me  back  the  power  I  had.  Brother  S —  asked  me 
if  I  would  come  down  that  evening.  I  told  him  I  could  not  come 
till  after  the  meeting  in  the  tent  on  Market  street,  as  I  had 
promised  to  lead  the  meeting  there.  When  I  told  him  I  would  come 
down  after  the  meeting,  the  same  old  joy  and  blessing  came 
back  to  me;  and  I  knew  that  was  where  the  Lord  wanted  me.  I 
went  down  and  met  Brother  P — ,  and  went  to  work  Sunday 
evening.  This  was  in  January.  I  had  done  but  little  in  the  Taber- 
•nacle  for  about  ten  months,  for  in  the  fall  I  went  back  to  my  father's 
home  and  made  a  two  weeks'  visit.  I  had  only  been  home  ten 
days  when  I  received  a  telegram  that  my  father  had  been  killed,  and 
to  come  at  once.  The  Lord  laid  it  on  my  heart  to  go,  though  it 
had  been  but  a  short  time  since  I  was  there,  and  I  did  not  feel 
I  should  go  again  so  soon.  But  it  continually  came  to  me  to 
go,  that  there  was  something  wrong,  and  I  told  Mr.  Peterson.  He 
got  me  a  ticket,  and  my  little  girl  and  I  went  back.  It  was  dark 
when  I  got  to  the  station,  three  miles  from  father's  home.  They 
did  not  know  I  was  coming,  so  I  hired  a  rig  at  the  livery  and 
was  driven  out  home.  I  was  in  the  yard  before  they  knew  it. 

My  father  and  mother  had  a  little  house  in  the  same  yard 
with  my  youngest  brother.  I  went  to  see  father  and  mother  first, 
and  found  father  in  bed.  I  went  up  to  the  -bed  and  kissed  him. 
As  I  neared  the  bed  I  knew  from  the  influence  that  came  from 
him  that  my  father  had  changed,  and  become  a  Christian.  As  I 
talked  with  him  I  felt  so  different  in  his  presence.  By  this  time 


164  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

my  brother's  wife  had  supper  ready.  With  mother  I  walked  the 
few  steps  from  their  little  home  over  to  Willie's.  "Father  is  a 
changed  man,"  I  said  to  her.  "I  can  feel  it."  "Yes,"  she  answered, 
"he  has  been  leading  a  different  life  several  months."  I  asked  her 
about  all  the  family.  So  far  as  they  knew  all  were  well.  In  a 
few  days  I  wanted  to  go  over  to  my  oldest  brother's,  and  there 
I  found  why  the  Lord  wanted  me  at  home.  I  did  what  the  Lord 
desired  regardless  of  anyone.  It  was  not  long  till  I  could  tell  what 
was  in  all  their  hearts,  and  I  was  not  long  in  letting  them  know 
that  no  Christian  should  have  malice  or  any  feeling  unbecoming 
Christians.  I  failed  to  get  them  all  in  harmony,  and  my  father 
was  one  who  opposed  my  efforts.  He  was  like  so  many  Christians, 
he  could  not  see.  Though  he  was  my  father,  I  knew  I  must 
obey  God.  Father  thought  I  should  listen  to  him.  He  made  some 
threats  because  of  my  disobedience  to  him,  but  I  told  him  it  made 
no  difference,  I  must  and  would  obey  God.  It  almost  broke  my 
heart  to  go  against  my  own  father's  wishes.  I  always  thought  I 
loved  him  more  than  any  of  the  rest  of  the  family.  He  being  so  good 
and  kind  to  me,  it  almost  broke  my  heart  not  to  listen  to  him.  I  was 
preparing  to  go,  and  was  crying  as  if  my  heart  would  break.  I  lifted 
my  heart  to  God,  for  il  knew  he  had  sent  me  back  there,  and  I 
would  do  his  will  regardless  of  father,  mother  or  sister.  I  said, 
as  I  was  getting  ready,  I  would  never  again  put  my  foot  on  Kansas 
soil  till  the  whole  family  was  united  and  living  in  harmony,  and  if  they 
were  not  united  till  they  met  above  the  dead  body  of  one  of  them, 
and  I  meant  it.  On  the  way  to  my  oldest  brother  I  was  talking 
to  the  Lord  in  my  heart  all  the  time  I  was  not  talking  to  my 
brother  John's  wife,  telling  her  how  we  should  all  live,  and  how  we 
should  feel  toward  the  whole  world.  I  never  will  be  able  to  tell 
you  how  it  pained  me  to  oppose  my  father.  I  knew  it  would  spoil  my 
visit,  but  no  matter,  I  knew  I  had  come  for  no  other  purpose  than 
to  do  the  will  of  God. 

I  said :  "Lord,  I  have  come,  now  bring  this  about  if  it  must 
come  through  the  death  of  some  of  us,  for,  Lord,  you  sent  me  here 
for  this  purpose.  Now  I  have  done  my  whole  duty  and  am  ready 
to  return  home."  I  bade  them  good-bye  and  said  I  would  never 
return  till  something  caused  a  reunion.  On  the  way  home  I  asked 
the  Lord  why  he  sent  me  on  a  mission  and  then  permitted  me  to 
fail.  I  got  no  answer  from  the  Lord  then.  I  knew  I  had  been 
sent  as  well  as  I  knew  I  had  been  converted;  and  it  was  the 
first  thing  the  Lord  sent  me  to  do  in  which  I  failed.  It  seemed  there 
was  not  one  in  the  family  who  recognized  that  God  had  sent  me; 
at  least  they  would  not  listen  to  me.  On  returning  from  my  oldest 
brother's,  while  a  little  way  from  my  father's  home,  I  saw  him 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  165 

going  down  the  road  toward  the  station.  When  I  reached  the 
house  they  told  me  he  was  going  to  Salina  for  a  few  days. 
I  stayed  several  days  longer,  then  started  home.  At  the  station  I 
was  much  surprised  to  meet  my  father.  As  he  got  off  the  train 
going  west,  I  took  the  train  going  east,  as  we  changed  cars  at 
Salina.  He  shook  hands  with  me,  and  bade  me  and  my  little  girl 
good-bye.  I  could  see  he  did  not  feel  as  hard  toward  me  as  I 
had  thought.  I  prayed  all  the  way  home :  "Lord,  let  this  come 
about  in  some  way."  I  thought  father  would  relent,  as  he  did 
on  my  first  visit  after  I  left  home.  It  had  been  a  good  many  years, 
and  I  could  not  help  feeling  he  had  a  little  spark  of  desire  in  his 
heart  to  see  me,  so  I  hired  a  buggy  at  the  livery  and  drove  home. 
None  of  them  knew  I  was  coming.  I  told  the  liveryman  to  wait 
and  see  if  I  could  stay  all  night.  I  told  him  father  was  angry 
with  me  because  I  left  home  as  I  did.  I  went  in  and  kissed  my 
mother.  Father  was  out  in  the  garden,  a  few  rods  from  the  house. 
As  I  kissed  mother  she  said:  "Rachel,  do  you  know  father  will 
not  let  you  stay  all  night?"  I  said:  "O,  mother!  I  cannot  believe 
father  will  tell  me  to  go,  after  all  these  years.  He  surely  wants 
to  see  me  by  this  time."  I  saw  him  coming  toward  the  house.  When 
he  came  in  he  told  me  to  go,  and  never  to  darken  his  door  again. 
I  said :  "All  right,  father,  I  will  go,  but  I  have  done  nothing  that 
you  should  treat  me  like  this."  I  got  into  the  buggy  and  drove 
over  to  Brother  John's.  The  liveryman  stayed  all  night.  My 
Brother  Marion  lived  but  a  quarter  of  a  mile  from  Brother  John's ; 
and  I  went  there  and  stayed  all  night.  Being  tired  from  the  long 
drive,  I  went  to  bed  early.  As  the  rest  of  the  family  were  pre- 
paring to  retire,  my  youngest  brother,  Willie,  drove  up  and  said 
father  had  sent  for  me.  I  had  told  the  liveryman,  as  we  were 
driving  over  to  my  brother's,  that  father  would -relent ;  that  no 
one  could  make  me  believe  he  would  let  me  go  back  to  Denver 
without  his  seeing  me ;  that  there  was  a  little  spark  of  a  father's 
love  still  in  his  heart.  I  told  my  brothers  and  their  families  that 
he  would  send  for  me.  They  would  not  believe  it.  They  told  me 
that  I  had  forgotten  how  firm  and  stern  he  was.  I  said :  "You  wait 
and  see  if  I  am  not  right."  When  Willie  drove  up  and  asked  me 
to  come,  I  sent  father  word  by  Brother  Willie  that  I  was  in  bed,  and 
would  not  go  over  till  the  next  morning;  that  he  need  not  come 
after  me,  I  would  walk,  as  it  was  not  far.  They  were  afraid 
father  would  be  angry  because  I  did  not  go  when  he  sent  for 
me.  I  told  them  I  did  not  believe  it,  and  that  he  wanted  to  see 
me  as  badly  as  I  wanted  to  see  him.  I  was  right.  Willie  was  at 
the  door  at  sunrise  the  next  morning,  and  said  father  did  not 
want  me  to  wait  for  breakfast,  but  to  come,  and  mother  would  have 


l66  THE      LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

breakfast  ready.  I  said  to  all  of  them:  "Now  you  see  if  I  don't 
kiss  him."  None  of  the  family  ever  kissed  him  after  they  were 
grown  but  me.  When  I  told  them  I  was  going  to  kiss  him  they 
could  not  believe  it.  He  was  a  very  stern  father,  but  love  could 
melt  him,  as  it  will  anyone.  Love  and  kindness  will  tame  the 
wildest  animal,  and  I  knew  it  would  conquer  father.  I  told  him 
when  I  left  the  house  he  would  be  sorry. 

Father  was  in  the  kitchen,  and  when  he  saw  me  almost  at 
the  kitchen  door  he  started  for  the  front  room.  I  followed  him. 
He  was  standing  by  the  stove  with  his  back  toward  me.  As  I 
came  in  I  went  up  to  him  and  said :  "Father,  I  want  you  to 
kiss  me."  I  put  my  arm  around  his  neck,  and  with  the  other  hand 
I  took  the  pipe  out  of  his  mouth,  and  gave  him  a  big  kiss.  And  it 
did  him  as  m'uch  good  as  it  would  any  father.  This  was  before  1 
was  a  Christian.  And  blind  in  sin  as  I  was,  I  knew  love  and 
kindness  would  conquer  him,  and  I  thought  he  would  do  as  I 
wanted  him  to  do  in  this  little  trouble.  But  he  was  too  much 
like  many  Christians  of  to-day.  They  will  forgive  you,  but  they 
do  not,  and  will  not,  hav,e  anything  to  do  with  you.  This  was  not 
the  kind  of  forgiveness  I  wanted.  He  was  all  right  toward  me. 
I  could  feel  his  spirit  toward  me.  If  he  had  stopped  and  thought 
for  a  moment  he  could  not  have  helped  knowing  I  was  right.  If 
we  only  take  the  word  of  God,  and  do  what  we  know  is  right,  God 
will  bring  things  to  pass.  He  will  answer  our  prayers.  As  I  said, 
he  bade  me  good-bye,  and  I  came  home. 

I  prayed  for  two  weeks  that  God  would  bring  about  a  recon- 
ciliation in  our  family.  About  ten  days  after  I  returned  home  I 
received  a  telegram  that  my  father  had  been  killed,  and  to  come 
at  once.  And  there,  over  the  dead  body  of  my  father,  the  whole 
family  were  brought  together.  Oh,  but  we  should  live  as  we 
expect  to  die!  That  is  no  way  for  us  to  live,  either  in  families 
or  churches,  or  among  our  neighbors.  Everyone  should  be  at  peace 
with  those  around  him.  God  will  give  us  such  love  that  we  can  love 
our  enemies  as  well  as  those  who  love  us;  though  we  may  not  feel 
that  we  could  trust  them  with  everything,  for  some  will  make  evil 
of  the  purest  acts  or  words.  I  was  so  glad  father 'felt  toward  me 
as  he  did,  even  though  I  could  not  do  as  he  thought  I  should.  I 
will  teH  you  why  I  was  so  glad.  I  always  forgive,  and  make  it 
known  in  every  act  that  I  have,  in  every  sense  of  the  word,  for- 
given. On  the  same  platform  where  I  took  the  train  for  Denver 
bade  my  father  good-bye,  and  in  two  weeks,  on  the  very  same 
platform,  I  met  my  father— in  his  coffin.  As  I  came  from  the  west 
he  came  from  the  east,  and  there  we  met.  He  had  gone  to  Council 
Bluffs,  la.,  and  was  crossing  the  railroad  at  the  depot  when  an 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  167 

engine  struck  him  and  killed  him.  The  undertaker  took  charge 
and  embalmed  the  body  and  sent  it  to  us,  and  there  where  I  bade 
him  good-bye  we  met. 

When  I  started  to  work  for  the  Haymarket  in  January  Brother 
P —  gave  me  $25  a  month  for  four  months,  then  he  gave  me  $10 
another  time,  and  when  they  were  giving  money  for  the  street 
wagon  I  gave  $10.  This  is  all  I  ever  received  as  wages  in  the 
twenty-one  years'  labor.  I  worked  two  years  and  nine  months.  1 
have  given  thirty  persons  a  home  in  my  house.  The  length  of 
time  they  made  it  their  home  would  average  from  two  to  three 
years  ,  apiece.  I  have  washed  for  them,  tended  their  rooms, 
cooked  their  meals  and  nursed  them  when  sick.  Ten  out  of  the 
thirty  needed  more  or  less  medical  attention.  Those  were  fourteen 
women  and  sixteen  men.  The  youngest  of  the  male  sex  I  have 
provided  a  home  for  was  three  hours  old,  the  oldest  65  years.  The 
youngest  of  the  females  was  4  years  old,  and  the  oldest  68  years. 
They  were  of  all  classes  and  nationalities.  At  this  time  I  had 
given  eight  years'  labor  to  the  Tabernacle.  This  was  my  recommend 
from  Brother  Uzzell : 

"I  take  great  pleasure  in  stating  that  Sister  Peterson 
gave  eight  years  of  her  life  to  the  work  of  the  People's 
Tabernacle  without  money  or  price.  The  Tabernacle  never 
had  a  more  self-sacrificing  worker  than  Sister  Peterson. 

T.  A.  UZZELL, 
Pastor  People's  Tabernacle" 

The  first  two  years'  work  at  the  Tabernacle  I  had  some  ex- 
periences on  healing  that  I  wish  to  speak  of.  I  will  give  the  names 
of  the  people  interested  in  this  healing.  Many  who  read  this  book 
will  know  the  persons.  When  I  was  in  the  meetings  my  time  was 
taken  up  and  the  Lord  did  not  lead  me  to  mention  the  wonderful 
way  he  blessed  me  as  I  had  little  to  do  with  it.  It  was  all  the 
work  of  the  Lord.  So  many  thought  because  God  used  me  to  heal 
one  that  I  should  be  able  to  heal  all,  and  could  heal  the  city  of 
Denver  if  the  Lord  saw  fit  to  use  me  as  an  instrument  to  do 
so.  Except  it  be  the  will  of  the  Lord,  and  he  leads  you  and  gives 
the  faith,  the  work  cannot  be  done.  The  faith  that  he  can  do  it 
we  all  have,  for  we  know  there  is  nothing  impossible  with  God;  for 
we  all  know  he  can,  and  we  have  faith  to  believe.  That  is  not 
the  way  or  the  faith  that  does  the  work.  It  is  the  same  faith,  but 
it  is  applied  in  a  different  way.  I  will  relate  my  experience  as  an 
example.  Someone  may  say:  "Have  you  not  the  gift  of  heal- 
ing?" I  have  not.  I  can  do  nothing  except  as  the  Spirit  leads  me; 


l68  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

and  if  he  leads  me  then  comes  the  faith  to  do  the  healing.    I  know 
there  is  a  difference  by  experience. 

Sister  Lee,  who  lives  over  the  Thirty-eighth  street  bridge,  was 
nursing  a  little  girl  three  years  old,  who  had  scarlet  fever.  She  asked 
me  if  I  would  come  and  see  the  child.  She  thought  it  would  die. 
It  was  an  only  child.  The  father  was  a  coal  and  wood  dealer,  and 
lived  just  across  the  railroad  tracks  on  Thirty-eighth  street,  in  a 
two-story  brick.  He  had  his  business  downstairs,  and  lived  up- 
stairs. I  went  to  the  room,  and  there  lay  the  child,  too  weak  to 
free  its  throat  and  nose  of  phlegm.  As  the  child  exhaled  the  air 
from  its  lungs  the  phlegm  gushed  out  of  its  nose  and  mouth,  and 
was  at  once  removed  before  the  breath  could  draw  it  back.  I 
tell  you  this  to  show  you  how  near  gone  the  child  was.  I  had 
no  idea,  when  I  went  in,  the  Lord  would  use  me  as  the  instrument 
to  heal  the  child.  I  did  not  know  that  was  his  will.  As  I  was 
standing  by  the  bed  of  the  child  I  knew.  Not  that  I  had  more 
faith  after  I  got  there  than  when  I  was  going;  the  only  difference 
was  it  was  the  Lord's  will  the  child  should  be  healed.  The  Holy 
Spirit  revealed  the  will  of  the  Lord  to  me,  not  by  the  faith  1 
had  alone,  but  by  my  obeying  the  Spirit,  as  he  led  me.  Then  I 
knew  the  Lord  was  going  to  heal  the  child.  I  knew  it  by  the  way 
the  Spirit  led  me.  I  began  to  exercise  the  faith  I  had.  Do  you 
see  I  do  not  use  my  will  and  say:  "Lord,  I  will  believe;"  or  "Lord, 
I  do  believe."  I  only  used  my  will  in  obeying  the  leading  of  the 
Holy  Spirit.  So  many  say:  "Lord,  we  do  believe  that  you  can 
do  this  healing."  This  is  not  the  way  to  exercise  faith.  It  must 
be  done  through  the  leading  of  the  Spirit.  If  it  could  be  done 
by  saying  "I  will  believe,"  or  "I  do  believe,"  there  would  not  be 
one  sick  person  in  the  world,  for  it  is  the  will  of  all  to  be  well. 
But  our  will  is  not  God's  will.  And  you  see  it  does  not  lie  in  the 
faith — our  believing  that  God  can  heal.  If  it  did  there  would  never 
be  a  sick  Christian,  for  everyone  of  us  believes  that  God  can  heal. 
Reason  shows  us  this  is  not  the  way  the  sick  are  healed.  Now, 
I  want  to  show  you  the  way  God  does  his  work  by  my  own  expe- 
rience. God's  word  says:  "Believe  that  ye  have  it  and  ye  shall 
receive  it."  And  this  is  all  done  through  the  leading  of  the  Spirit. 
Now  listen  to  me,  and  see  if  you  cannot  understand  what  I  mean. 
'  had  not  stood  by  the  child's  bed  two  minutes  when  the  Spirit 
impressed  me,  and  I  responded  to  the  impression,  as  words  spoken 
to  me.  ^  Now  you  surely  understand  what  I  mean  by  the  leading  of 
the  Spirit.  I  went  ahead  and  did  the  same  as  if  it  had  been  words. 
The  Holy  Spirit  said:  "Ask  them  if  they  are  willing  to  kneel 
and  pray,  and  live  better  lives  if  God  saves  their  child,"  for  it 
was  the  only  child. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  169 

This  was  done  by  my  using  my  will  in  those  thoughts,  which 
mean  obedience.  Now  I  was  in  condition  to  act  upon  this  pas- 
sage of  scripture :  "As  your  faith  is,  so  shall  it  be  unto  you."  Then 
my  faith  grew  stronger  than  when  I  entered  the  room.  Why?  Be- 
cause of  the  leading  of  the  Spirit.  If  I  had  not  depended  on  that 
leading,  my  faith  never  would  have  been  in  that  state;  but  when 
I  did,  I  could  say:  "As  my  faith  is,  so  shall  it  be  unto  you."  And 
this  other  passage  of  scripture  I  could  lay  hold  of:  "Believe  that 
ye  have  it,  and  ye  shall  receive  it."  After  all  that  leading  how 
could  I  help  believing?  How  did  I  get*  it?  Simply  by  obeying.  I 
did  not  receive  it  through  the  will.  Can  you  see,  now,  that  we 
are  led  in  healing?  Read  James  5:15:  "And  the  prayer  of  faith 
shall  save  the  sick,  and  the  Lord  shall  raise  him  up:  and  if  he 
have  committed  sins,  they  shall  be  forgiven  him."  Many  prayers 
are  going  up  to  God  daily  asking  him  to  save  the  sick.  Do  you 
think  for  a  moment  that  mother  did  not  pray  for  her  child  in  faith? 
Do  you  think  she  would  ask  God  if  she  did  not  believe?  Can  you 
not  see  the  mother  was  using  her  faith  by  the  act  of  the  will  and 
mother  feeling,  and  not  by  the  leading  of  the  Holy  Spirit?  Her 
prayer  would  have  been  like  my  prayer  if  I  had  prayed  before  the 
Holy  Spirit  led  me.  Of  course  I  did  ask  when  I  came  in,  but 
there  was  a  difference  in  my  asking  when  I  came  in  and  asking 
after  the  Holy  Spirit  led  me.  There  was  a  difference  after  I  obeyed 
in  all  my  feelings.  There  is  a  difference  in  praying  in  faith  and 
then  having  faith  to  come  and  then  pray  or  ask.  That  is  what 
this  scripture  means  by  saying  the  prayer  of  faith.  In  one  case 
you  have  the  strength  to  exercise  the  faith ;  in  the  other  the  faith 
is  by  obeying  the  Spirit,  you  have  the  strength  to  exercise  the 
faith  you  have.  This  is  the  difference  in  the  two  kinds  of  faith. 
The  first  you  exercise  by  natural  strength,  the  second  by  the  power 
of  the  Spirit  and  the  work  is  done.  This  is  the  prayer  of  faith.  The 
faith  of  prayer  or  faith  to  pray  will  not  do  the  work.  I  would 
like  to  have  you  get  my  meaning  clearly  in  your  mind  and  heart.  I 
do  not  know  whether  you  can  receive  it  into  the  heart  without 
the  experience,  but  I  pray  the  Holy  Spirit  may  show  you  the  dif- 
ference. Sometimes  the  sick  get  right  up,  and  at  other  times  the 
answer  comes,  and  you  may  not  see  the  effect  of  the  answer  as 
soon  in  some  cases  as  in  others,  but  all  we  have  to  do  is  to  wait  after 
God  gives  us  the  answer.  The  answer  always  comes  to  me  before 
the  work  is  done. 

The  parents  of  this  child  knelt  down  and  said  they  would  live 
better  lives.  Before  I  asked  them  to  kneel  there  came  such  a  fel- 
ing  to  me  as  though  there  was  a  thick,  heavy  atmosphere  in  the 
room.  The  feeling  was  like  this.  Did  you  every  try  to  get  through 


I7O  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

a  crowd  of  people  on  the  street  and  were  hindered  by  having  to  wade 
through?  Well,  that  is  the  feeling  I  felt  in  the  spirit,  not  in  body, 
and  the  feeling  came  all  over  me  to  walk  the  floor,  and  I  said 
I  am  led  by  the  Spirit  to  walk  the  floor.  I  do  not  know  why,  but 
as  I  did  the  darkness  or  influence  seemed  to  leave  the  room.  One 
might  ask:  "What  good  did  it  do  to  walk?"  It  was  simply  obeying 
the  Spirit.  Another  might  ask:  "Why  did  you  feel  that  heavy 
atmosphere?"  One  reason  was  because  I  was  sensitive;  another,  be- 
cause the  Spirit  knew  by  this  feeling  my  attention  could  be  drawn. 
This  was  necessary  in  order  to  influence  me  to  walk.  Another  might 
ask:  "Why  should  I  walk?"  The  act  of  obedience  committed  my  will 
to  the  Spirit,  and  then  the  Spirit  could  lead  me.  When  the  Spirit 
had  my  will  I  was  told  to  tell  them  to  kneel.  Another  reason  for 
this  atmospheric  phenomenon  was  the  power  of  darkness,  the 
prince  of  the  air,  the  devil.  By  obeying,  I  resisted  the  powerful  in- 
fluence of  the  devil.  We  cannot  get  strength  any  other  way.  As 
the  parents  were  kneeling,  even  before  I  prayed,  the  strength  came 
into  my  heart,  and  I  could  not  help  believing  God  would  spare  the 
child.  This  was  after  the  doctor  had  been  there  in  the  afternoon. 
When  he  came  the  next  morning  he  said  he  looked  for  the  crape 
on  the  door.  He  did  not  believe  it  possible  for  the  child  to  live. 
He  was  greatly  surprised  when  he  saw  the  child  so  bright.  The 
little  thing  was  still  weak.  A  few  days  after  that  she  took  cold  an  i 
seemed  to  have  a  relapse,  and  the  parents  were  so  frightened  they 
hitched  up  a  horse,  and  the  father  and  Sister  Lee  drove  to  my  house. 
Sister  Lee  came  in  and  asked  me  to  go  down.  I  was  threatened 
with  quinsy,  and  did  not  feel  able  to  go.  He  said :  "I  cannot 
go  back  without  you."  I  knew  it  was  not  safe  to  go  out  in  the 
cold  wind  with  my  throat  in  the  condition  it  was,  and  told  them 
to  believe  what  I  said,  and  depend  upon  it  that  it  was  the  will 
of  the  Lord  to  spare  their  child.  He  said :  "I  will  depend  upon 
what  she  says."  I  could  feel  'the  assurance  that  the  child  would 
live.  She  got  well,  and  the  last  I  heard  of  them  the  child  was 
doing  well.  Directly  after  this  Sister  Vest  sent  for  me.  Her  hus- 
band works  at  the  Union  Pacific  shops.  I  think  he  is  a  boiler  maker. 
They  lived  three  streets  beyond  the  Hyde  Park  school.  Her  child 
had  inflammation  of  the  stomach  and  bowels.  It  had  a  high  fever 
and  was  very  fretful.  It  was  nearly  two  years  old.  I  sat  down 
after  I  had  looked  at  the  child,  to  see  what  the  Spirit  would 
reveal  or  lead  me  to  do.  As  I  sat  there  trusting  and  waiting,  the 
sweetest  feeling  came  over  me,  and  I  said:  "Lord,  what  is  this?" 
That  was  all  that  came  to  me.  There  were  several  ladies  present, 
including  Sister  Vest's  mother.  They  were  all  talking,  but  I  did 
not  have  much  to  say.  I  was  waiting  on  the  Spirit.  The  peace- 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  171 

ful  feeling  still  remained.  It  could  not  have  been  over  thirty 
minutes,  and  before  any  of  us  knew  or  could  realize  it,  the  child 
went  to  sleep.  Sister  Vest  was  surprised,  and  the  feeling  then 
came  for  me  to  pray.  All  at  once  such  a  strange  feeling  came 
over  every  one  in  the  room.  Did  you  ever  take  hold  of  an  electric 
battery?  This  was  the  kind  of  shock  we  all  received.  It  was  the 
healing  of  the  child.  I  did  not  understand  at  first  what  it  meant. 
I  knew  it  was  from  the  Lord,  but  it  was  the  first  I  had  received 
in  prayer.  I  had  felt  this  shock  in  trances,  but  never  before  in 
prayer.  After  we  had  prayed  Sister  Vest  came  over  to  me  and 
asked  me  what  that  feeling  was.  I  told  her  it  was  from  the  Lord, 
that  it  was  something  new  to  me,  but  that  I  believed  the  Lord  would 
show  me.  When  I  started  home  I  told  her  if  the  Lord  revealed 
anything  to  me  I  would  come  back  in  the  morning  and  tell  her. 
As  soon  as  I  left  the  house  I  began  to  pray,  and  while  on  my  way 
home — ah !  I  can  even  now  go  to  the  very  tree  I  was  under — the 
Spirit  came  to  me  and  said :  "The  child  is  all  right."  She  told  me 
that  her  mother  said  it  was  magnetism  I  possessed  that  put  the  child 
to  sleep.  I  told  Sister  Vest  they  could  call  it  anything  they 
liked.  I  knew  it  was  the  power  of  God.  The  child  got  well.  The 
doctor  told  Brother  Vest  it  was  not  his  power  that  saved  the  child. 
The  cure  was  nothing  but  a  miracle.  The  child  was  living  and 
well  the  last  I  heard.  This  is  the  last  healing  that  was  done 
while  I  was  in  the  Tabernacle. 

I  have  told  you  of  the  young  man  in  St.  Joseph's  hospital,  how 
I  kissed  him  when  I  went  in,  and  kissed  him  good-bye  when  I 
left  him,  for  over  a  year.  It  reminds  me  of  the  first  time  I  ever 
kissed  a  man  in  the  presence  of  anyone  in  this  Christian  work.  One 
day  some  of  the  members  of  the  Workers'  Band  and  I  went  to  the 
County  hospital  to  see  a  sick  man.  There  was  Sister  C — ,  Brother 
B —  and  myself.  The  nurse  met  us  at  the  door  and  told  us  she 
thought  it  would  be  best  for  us  not  to  go  in,  as  he  was  very  low, 
and  it  would  do  him  more  harm  than  good.  We  asked  if  we  might 
just  look  at  him.  We  promised  not  to  talk  to  him,  and  not  to 
stay.  She  said  there  was  no  hope  of  his  getting  well,  and  she 
didn't  know  as  it  would  do  him  much  harm.  We  went  up  to  his 
cot.  There  were  a  great  many  others  in  the  same  ward.  We 
could  not  talk  with  him,'  and  he  was  so  weak  he  could  hardly 
speak,  so  we  just  looked  at  him  and  he  a*t  us.  I  thought  to  myself: 
"Is  that  all  we  can  do,  to  look  at  him  here  among  strangers,  with 
no  loved  one  near  to  comfort  him?  And  he  must  die  out  here 
alone."  And  the  Spirit  led  me  to  kiss  him.  In  a  moment  I  stepped 
to  the  side  of  the  cot  and  kissed  him  on  the  brow,  and  told  him 
4  would  pray  for  him.  A  smile  passed  over  his  countenance,  and 


172  THE      LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

we  saw  a  tear  creeping  down  his  pale  cheek  and  fall  upon  the 
pillow.  And  the  Lord  blessed  me  for  the  little  act  of  sympathy. 
They  were  lying,  here  and  there,  poor  fellows,  with  no  one  to 
comfort  them.  We  were  not  out  of  the  yard  of  the  hospital  when 
the  devil  came  to  me  with  these  thoughts :  "Now  you  have  done  it." 
I  said  to  myself:  "What  have  I  done?"  "You  have  kissed  that 
strange  man,  whom  you  never  saw  before,  and  what  will  Sister  C — 
and  Brother  B —  think  of  you?"  "I  do  not  care  what  they  think. 
I  have  done  nothing  wrong,  and  I  know  it,"  I  answered.  But 
over  and  over  came  the  thought  that  they  would  not  give  the  right 
meaning  to  what  I  had  done,  and  I  said :  "Well,  if  they  do  not,  it 
is  not  my  fault."  But  the  old  fellow  would  not  let  me  alone.  We 
were  half-way  home  by  this  time,  and  I  thought  I  would  try 
another  way  to  get  rid  of  him.  "Sister  C —  and  Brother  B,"  I  said, 
"I  do  not  know  what  you  think  of  my  kissing  that  sick  man,  but 
I  know  the  Lord  led  me  to  do  it,  and  I  can't  help  what  you  think. 
If  I  had  it  to  do  over  again  I  would  do  the  same  thing."  Sister  C — 
said:  "Why,  Sister  Peterspn,  I  had  the  same  feeling  in  my  heart; 
but  I  hadn't  the  courage  you  had,  because  of  fear  of  the  people." 
Brother  B —  said:  "Sister  Peterson,  don't  think  for  a  moment 
I  think  wrong  of  what  you  did."  He  turned  to  Sister  C —  and 
continued  (by  this  time  we  were  all  in  tears  and  the  old  devil 
had  to  take  his  flight)  :  "If  I  were  in  the  place  of  that  poor  fellow 
and  anyone  would  give  me  a  kiss  in  the  spirit  you  kissed  him 
I  know  of  nothing  that  would  comfort  me  more."  When  Brother 

B .  went  to   see   this  brother   again   he   told   him,    for   he   was 

better,  that  he  never  had  anything  do  him  the  'good  that  that 
kiss  did.  He  said :  "It  made  me  think  of  my  dear  mother  and 
my  sweet  sister,  far  away.  That  is  just  what  they  would  have 
done,  if  they  had  been  there ;  in  fact,  it  was  all  they  could  have 
done.  I'll  never  forget  that  kind  kiss  of  sympathy  and  the  com- 
fort it  gave  me."  In  all  my  Christian  work  I  do  not  believe  I 
ever  kissed  anyone  that  there  were  so  many  tears  shed  over.  There 
was  a  lot  of  harm  made  over  my  kissing  another  man,  and  some 
tears  shed,  but  not  that  kind.  Neither  were  they  tears  of  regret. 
They  were  tears  of  bitterness  from  the  harm  the  devil  made  of  it. 
Still  I  can  say  from  my  heart  I  never  regretted  the  tears  of  sorrow, 
not  that  I  learned  a  lesson  on  that  line,  for  I  did  not,  for  I  have 
kissed  many  since,  and  I  think  I  have  done  as  much  good  work 
in  bestowing  a  kiss  of  sympathy  and  love  as  with  my  pocket-book 
and  kind  deeds  and  words.  Human  beings  want  something  besides 
what  money  can  buy.  That  real,  tender,  true  love  which  is  honest 
and  from  the  heart  has  power,  and  goes  out  to  the  one  who  needs 
sympathy  and  comfort  and  helps  them  at  times  as  nothing  else  will. 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  C3 

This  old  world  is  cold  and  barren  and  lifeless  for  the  want  of 
this  true,  honest  love,  that  is  not  tarnished  with  some  other  object — 
selfishness  or  thoughtlessness,  or  an  indifferent  spirit,  either  of 
which  will  tarnish  or  stain  the  purest  love.  A  lustful  thought  will 
drive  away  and  kill  or  destroy  this  pure,  holy  love  that  God 
has  given  us  for  all  mankind.  Ask  God,  in  your  heart,  for  this  love, 
and  it  will  well  up  a  spring  of  living  water. 

I  shall  never  forget  one  evening  after '  the  young  com 
meeting  at  the  Tabernacle  a  stranger  stepped  up  to  me  and  said: 
"Pardon  me;  I  am  a  stranger  to  you — but  I  feel  impressed  to  come 
to  you.  I  am  in  trouble,  and  need  someone  to  help  me.  I  seem  led 
to  you.  If  you  would  be  so  kind  as  to  give  me  a  few  moments 
of  your  time  when  convenient  for  you,  I  never  could  tell  you  how 
much  I  would  appreciate  it."  I  had  never  met  the  gentleman  before. 
II«'  had  heard  me  speak  a  time  or  two  in  the  meetings.  He  was 
a  fine-looking,  well-dressed  man.  I  knew  it  was  not  clothes  he 
wanted,  and  I  knew  from  his  looks  he  was  not  hungry.  We  held 
the  prayer  meeting  in  the  basement  that  evening,  and  he  came  to 
me  on  the  sidewalk  in  front  of  the  church.  I  stepped  to  one  side 
and  told  him  I  would  do  anything  that  lay  in  my  power  to  help  him. 
wondering  all  the  time  what  it  could  be.  Giving  him  my  card.  I 
told  him  to  call  at  10  in  the  morning,  asking  him  to  the  sen-ices. 
He  said  he  would  come  in  some  other  evening,  as  he  would  not* 
enjoy  the  sermon  that  night.  I  could  not  get  the  stranger's  sad  face 
out  of  my  mind.  I  got  up  in  the  morning  at  4  o'clock,  as  T  had  bcm 
accustomed  to  do,  and  had  my  washing  out  by  8,  and  the  house 
work  done  and  dressed  ready  to  receive  him  at  10.  He  was  there 
at  the  appointed  time.  I  gave  him  a  seat  and  he  passed  a  few  w 
about  the  weather.  He  sat  there  looking  down  at  the  floor  awhile, 
and  then  asked  me  to  pardon  him,  as  he  walked  a  time  or  two 
across  the  floor.  I  could  see  he  hesitated  to  tell  me  his  trouble. 
I  said:  "My  brother,  you  need  not  fear.  You  are  safe  in  trusting 
me  with  your  life,  if  need  be.  I  will  never  betray  .your  trust."  He 
stopped  in  the  middle  of  the  floor  and  looked  at  me  and  then  sat 
down.  I  could  see  he  was  in  deep  trouble.  I  went  to  him  and 
took  his  hand  and  kissed  him,  saying:  "Now,  let  me  he  a  mother 
or  sister  to  you."  I  took  my  chair  and  sat  down  by  his  side.  He 
fell  on  his  knees  and  buried  his  face  in  my  lap  and  wept  bitterly. 
his  great,  manly  form  shaking  like  a  leaf.  Then  he  told  me  the 
sad  story,  and  I  thanked  God  that  I  was  able  to  help  him,  and 
I  know  he  will  never  regret  the  trust  he  put  in  me  to  his  dying 
hour.  I  never  did  mention  his  sorrow,  as  he  was  a  prominent 
citizen  of  our  city.  The  way  strangers  are  led  to  trust  me  is  mar- 
velous. A  strange  lady  passing  through  the  city  was  led  to  re- 


174  THE      LONG;LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

quest  me  by  letter  to  pray  for  her  in  some  deep  affliction  she  was 
passing  through. 

I  was  sent  for  by  a  middle-aged  man  one  day  about  2  o'clock 
in  the  afternoon.  He  was  working  in  one  of  the  lumber  yards  of 
the  city.  In  some  way  he  injured  his  spine,  and  it  affected  his 
brain.  As  I  went  into  his  room  he  was  rolling  and  tossing  from 
one  side  of  the  bed  to  the  other.  He  was  stopping  in  one  of  those 
cheap  lodging  houses.  His  window  was  a  skylight.  He  had  to  light 
the  lamp  in  the  daytime,  his  room  was  so  dark.  I  got  him  a  glass 
of  water,  and  then  took  a  paper  and  fanned  him.  The  bed  was 
not  very  clean.  It  was  getting  late,  so  I  knelt  by  his  bed  and 
prayed.  Oh,  you  do  not  know  how  I  hated  to  go  and  leave  hirr 
alone  in  that  condition.  I  took  his  hand  and  told  him  I  hated  to 
leave  him.  He  said :  "Sister  Peterson,  you  seem  more  like  a 
sister  than  anyone  I  have  met  since  I  left  home,  years  ago."  I  knew 
my  presence  was  a  comfort  to  him.  As  I  left  him  I  kissed  him 
good-bye.  I  did  not  know  how  much  good  that  kiss  did  in  bringing 
him  to  own  and  love  the  Savior  till  a  few  hours  before  his  death. 
This  was  before  I  left  the  Tabernacle. 

CHAPTER  XIV. 

I  NEVER  kept  a  personal  account  prior  to  the  last  seven  years  of  my 
work.  I  wish  I  had.  In  almost  all  of  these  seven  or  eight 
years  in  the  Tabernacle  I  gave  my  work  to  the  Workers'  Band. 
I  have  had  a  little  money  given  to  me  now  and  then  for  Christian 
work,  but  very  little.  Perhaps  if  I  tell  you  how  I  managed  my 
business  affairs  in  order  to  do  what  I  did,  it  may  enable  others  to 
see  that  everyone  can  be  a  missionary  for  the  Lord  without  being 
a  preacher ;  for  not  many  that  preach  can  work  on  the  lines  I  have 
mentioned,  for  most  of  this  work  belongs  to  women.  Still  there 
are  a  few  strong  enough  these  days  to  preach  and  run  a  hospital 
and  boarding  house  and  be  a  mother,  wife  and  housekeeper  and  do 
missionary  work,  too.  I  could  not  have  done  all  these  branches  of 
work  if  I  had  not  been  strong.  But  being  crippled,  doing  this  work 
almost  one  one  limb,  is  the  cause  of  broken  health  now.  Another 
reason  why  I  give  an  account  of  my  work  is  to  show  the  church  mem- 
bers that  the  word  of  God  does  not  call  busy-bodies,  and  it  is 
not  alone  women  who  meddle  with  me  in  the  lines  I  have  mentioned, 
but  busy,  meddlesome  men — some  of  the  brethren  of  the  church. 
They  tried  hard  many  times  to  get  it  to  the  public,  that  I  had  no 
one  around  me  but  men,  and  they  were  mostly  of  the  hobo  ele- 
ment and  jail  trash.  Well,  we  will  see  what  the  Lord  says  on 
these  lines,  not  what  men  say,  as  I  go  on  with  my  experience.  At 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  175 

times  it  was  all  I  could  do  to  keep  my  head  above  the  waves.  I 
\\as  stuck  on  this  fellow  and  in  love  with  that  one,  and  at  last 
they  got  me  down  as  a  free  lover,  but  I  made  up  my  mind  that 
was  a  real  good  name,  as  God  says,  npt  to  love  in  word,  but  in 
deed.  I  John  3:18:  "Let  us  not  love  in  word,  neither  in  tongue; 
but  in  deed  and  in  truth."  I  got  comfort  out  of  what  Paul  said  in 
I  Cor.  4 13 :  'But  with  me  it  is  a  very  small  thing  that  I  should 
be  judged  of  you,  or  of  man's  judgment." 

When  I  went  to  work  for  the  Haymarket  Mission  I  was  in  good 
trim,  for  the  Lord  had  used  some  of  the  carnal-minded  members  to 
polish  me  up  a  bit,  and  as  instruments  to  prove*  me  that  I  might 
abound  in  much  fruit.  John  15:2:  "He  purgeth  it  that  it.  may 
bring  forth  more  fruit."  This  is  the  kind  of  members  God  says 
are  walking  as  men,  and  not  spiritually  (I  Cor.  3:3).  "Who  walk 
not  after  the  flesh,  but  after  the  Spirit"  (Rom.  8:4).  You  sec  there 
are  two  classes  of  Christians,  one  walking  as  men,  the  other  walk- 
ing spiritually,  so  if  God  makes  a  difference  we  ought  to  know  there 
is  a  difference,  but  let  us  find  out  before  we  get  through  studying 
the  word  of  God  if  we  can  tell  the  difference  when  we  meet  them 
in  church,  or  in  their  homes,  or  on  the  street,  and  above  all.  in 
our  business  dealings  with  one  another.  Those  who  walk  as  men 
are  the  ones  God  permits  the  devil  to  use  in  preparing  those  who 
would  be  spiritual;  so  you  see  they  fill  their  place,  and,  after. all, 
how  could  we  get  along  without  them?  God  forbid  that  they  go  to 
the  end  of  their  lives  walking  as  men!  Those  who  do  will  have 
no  foundation  for  their  house.  It  will  be  built  upon  the  sand,  and 
great  will  be  the  fall.  (Matt.  7:27.)  The  excuse  of  so  many 
is  that  they  have  to  work  hard  all  day  and  are  too  tired  to  study 
the  word  of  God.  They  really  do  not  know  how  to  build  a  good 
foundation.  They  only  know  that  it  is  their  duty  to  go  to  church, 
and  go  away  pleased  to  think  the  preacher  hit  everyone  in  the 
church  but  them.  Go  to  those  who  are  not  bible  students,  and 
are  walking  as  men,  and  they  will  tell  you  the  sermon  hit  Mr.  So- 
and-so,  and  Mr.  So-and-so  will  say  the  sermon  hit  the  brother 
or  sister.  It  happened  that  I  had  just  been  talking  to  this  brother 
and  sister,  and  it  had  done  them  so  much  good  to  know  the  preacher 
had  hit  Mr.  So-and-so  so  hard.  I  know  this  personally  as  a  fact. 
The  sermon  hadn't  done  a  bit  of  good.  Why  is  it  we  hear  tlu 
word  of  God  and  are  not  profited  by  it?  Because  we  are  ignorant 
of  how  to  apply  it  to  our  lives.  What  is  the  cause  of  our  igno- 
rance? God  says  we  are  willingly  ignorant.  The  reason  is  that 
we  do  not  study  the  word,  prayerfully  and  earnestly,  on  our  knee*. 
If  the  word  of  God  is  in  us,  we  will  live  it.  Then  we  can  sec. 
And  if  we  do  no*  live  it,  that  is  do  just  as  God  tells  us  to  do, 


176  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

and  know  what  it  is  he  tells  us  to  do,  God  says  we  are 
blind  and  cannot  see  afar  off.  They  that  walk  as  men  are 
carnal-minded,  and  see  evil  in  almost  everything  and  but  little  good. 
They  make  evil  out  of  purity,  and  go  from  'one  to  another  telling 
it  for  one  of  the  most  wicked  facts.  This  is  what  God  calls  the 
carnal  mind.  Rom.  8 :7 :  "Because  the  carnal  mind  is  enmity 
against  God:  for  it  is  not  subject  to  the  law  of  God,  neither  indeed 
can  be."  Now  if  we  do  not  lay  aside  this  carnal  mind  and  evil 
eye  we  are  living  every  day  in  enmity  against  God ;  and  what 
will  become  of  ^us  ?  Did  you  ever  think  of  what  God  says  of  an 
evft  eye?  We  ought  to  come  to  God  and  get  our  hearts  right, 
therf  our  eyes  will  be  right.  We  had  better  have  our  eyes  taken  out 
than  use  them  evilly.  Why?  Luke  11:34:  "But  when  thine  eye 
is  evil,  the  body  also  is  full  of  darkness."  Is  it  not  better  that  we 
enter  heaven  with  one  eye  than  hell  with  two,  or  go  into  heaven 
blind  than  to  hell  with  eyes  wide  open?  There  will  be  nothing 
there  that  is  grand  or  beautiful  or  pure  or  holy;  then  what  comfort 
will  your  eyes  be  to  you  there?  I  tell  you  the  best  thing  to  do  is 
to  lay  aside  all  of  these  things  now,  for  now  is  the  day  of  salva- 
tion. I  am  talking  to  the  carnal-minded  and  evil-eyed  Christians. 
And  if  I  read  my  bible  right,  there  is  danger  of  having  the  carnal 
mind ;  but  we  will  have  to  suffer  here  greater  than  we  ever  made 
anyone  suffer  by  using  the  carnal  mind. 

By  the  time  I  was  ready  to  go  to  work  on  the  street  wagon  all 
the  glory  and  rejoicing  that  displeased  the  Lord  was  taken  out 
of  me,  and  I  was  ready  for  the  battle;  and  the  Lord  wonderfully 
blessed  our  labors.  I  will  never  know  till  the  judgment  day  how 
many  precious  souls  received  the  word  of  God  that  was  sown  on 
the  street  corners.  This  is  the  way  I  managed  my  home  affairs 
in  order  to  do  the  Christian  work  I  have  done  for  the  last  seven 
years.  Those  that  were  able  to  give  me  a  little  something,  and 
were  not  able  to  go  elsewhere  for  room  and  board,  I  took  in.  The 
only  ones  who  ever  gave  me  anything  were  two  women  I  had  given 
homes.  They  gave  me  enough  to  pay  for  the.  food  they  ate,  that 
the  burden  would  not  be  so  heavy  on  me,  and  another  gave  me  $i 
a  week  for  awhile.  She  was  sick  so  much  that  I  let  her  stay  for 
$i,  washing,,  room  and  bed,  and  I  waited  on  her  when  she  was 
sick.  When  she  got  well  and  received  better  wages,  she  gave 
me  $2  a  week.  That  is  all  I  got  till  the  last  year,  when  she  gave 
me  $3  a  week  for  washing,  room  and  board,  arid  fire;  and  then 
I  waited  on  her  when  she  was  sick,  often  taking  her  meals  to  her 
upstairs.  Seven  out  of  the  thirty  I  have  given  homes  to  are 
all  that  ever  gave  me  that  much  to  help  me  bear  the  burden.  One 
of  the  seven  I  had  done  so  much  for  in  getting  work  and  in  sick- 


SOME    .4\0\Y.MOrS   LETTERS   I    HAVE   KNOWN 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  1/7 

ness,  after  I  had  gotten  him  work  I  asked  for  $5,  and  he  was  angry, 
when  it  was  known  I  wanted  the  money  to  help  some  one  worse 
off.  I  just  say  this  to  show  how  ungrateful  Christian  people  are. 
When  they  are  blessed  with  care  and  attention  they  are  so  selfish 
they  don't  care  whether  anyone  else  is  cared  for  or  not.  This  is 
the  sole  reason  so  many  Christians  are  hard  up.  God  will  not 
bless  them  when  they  are  so  ungrateful  and  selfish.  What  I  haw 
dnnc  outride  of  my  home  I  cannot  begin  to  tell;  and  some  would 
fed  hard  toward  me  because  I  could  not  do  more.  When  they  are 
•Migratcful  to  God  for  his  goodness,  which  we  all  are  more  or 
less,  what  could  I  expect?  But  thank  God  everyone  that  has  shown 
ungratefulness  to  me  has  been  sorry  and  ashamed.  I  had,  up  to 
this  time,  what  one  would  call  spiritual  pride,  which  was  nothing 
more  or  less  than  spiritual  wickedness.  I  had  such  a  time  getting 
rid  of  that  spiritual  uncleanlincss  that  I  can  tell  as  soon  as  I  meet  • 

me  whether  they  have  this  pride  or  not.  just  as  plainly  as  you 

see   the   natural  pride  in   anyone.     To  be  proud  because  God 

ou,  and  gives  you  power  with  the  people,  is  as  bad  as  to 

have  worldly  pride.     Can  you  see  the  life  I  was  living?     My  h<»dy 

•  parate  from  everything  of  earth  as  possible,  and. yet  I  Was 

taking  upon  myself  this   spiritual  pride,  which   is  more   disgusting 

to  me  to-day  than   worldly  pride   ever   was.     Hundreds  have  thi^ 

pride,  and  are  as  blind  to  it  as  I  was.     We  must  go  through  sonic 

kind  of  experience  in  order  that  our  eyes  may  be  opened   to  our 

•  :tual  wickedness;  for  God  will  have  Jis  blameless,  in  body,  soul. 

^pirit  and   mind.     And  then  after  almost  three  years'  work  in   the 

Haymarket.  I  had  something  more  to  learn  that  I  had  not  dreamed 

-o  displeasing  to  God ;  and  that  was  to  learn  obedience.  I  was 
sure  that  I  was  obedient,  at  least  I  thought  T  had  disobeyed  the 
Spirit  but  very  little,  and  yet  it  was  offensive  to  God.  If  anvone 
had  tried  to  show  me  without  the  experience,  T  could  never  have 
seen  it.  God  wanted  the  kind  of  obedience  we  learn  through  suf- 
fering of  the  spirit,  as  the  Son  of  God  in  the  garden  of  Gethsemane. 
when  he  suffered  in  spirit,  because  of  the  sins  of  others,  till  he 

t  great  drops  of  blood.  Tn  order  to  learn  as  the  Son  of  God 
learned,  we  must  suffer  in  spirit,  heart,  mind  and  body.  Though 
lie  had  never  sinned,  he  had  to  learn  obedience  through  suffering. 
We  should  not  resist  .one  thing  that  comes  to  us,  whether  it  be 
scandal,  shame  or  reproach,  that  causes  our  suffering,  for  he  has 
told  us  not  to  resist  evil.  Little  did  I  think,  when  I  went  into 
the  Haymarket.  they  would  be  the  ones  that  would  teach  me  this 
kind  of  obedience.  T  had  learned  obedience  in  a  way  that  we, 
a<;  Christians,  look  at  it.  but  not  the  kind  that  was  pleasing  to  God. 
And  when  my  name  was  cast  out,  and  I  was  hissed  at.  and  at  the 

12 


178       '  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

same  time  had  the  power  to  put  the  ones  that  did  it  behind  the 
bars  for  scandal,  I  did  not  resist  it.  I  was  led  to  the  slaughter 
and  opened  not  my  mouth.  I  never  knew  till  then  what  obedience 
meant.  It  was  then  I  learned  obedience  through  suffering.  Thank 
God  I  did  not  run,  or  resist  what  they  did.  If  I  had,  my  eyes  would 
not  have  been  opened  as  they  were  to  the  truth.  The  key  of  truth 
is  obedience.  I  could  never  do  the  work  there  is  yet  for  me  to  do 
without  this  experience.  If  I  am  going  to  be  a  Christian  and  walk 
in  Christ's  footsteps  how  could  I  ever  escape  that  experience?  Heb.. 
5  :8 :  "Though  he  were  a  Son,  yet  learned  he  obedience  by  the  things 
which  he  suffered."  Not  only  one  thing — the  word  says  things — 
and  I  know  I  have  suffered  everything  along  these  lines  any  Chris- 
tian ever  did  at  any  age  in  the  history  of  the  world,  for  where 
they  did  not  have  the  law  to  protect  them,  and  find  a  way  out 
of  suffering  that  way,  there  was  always  some  other  way  provided 
they  could  have  used  if  they  would.  Daniel,  if  he  had 
bowed  down  to  the  king,  whether  he  meant  it  or  not,  need  not 
have  gone  into  the  lions'  den.  He  was  not  harmed.  Neither  have 
these  experiences  harmed  me.  On  the  contrary,  they  have  done 
me  good.  Even  the  disciples,  if  they  had  catered  to  the 
scribes  and  pharisees,  the  worldly  Christians  of  that  day,  need 
not  have  suffered.  If  they  had  just  been  a  little  careful,  and  not 
spoken  the  truth  so  boldly,  or  had  just  said  it  in  a  nice  way  and 
not  been  so  particular  about  living  it  and  being  led  by  the 
Spirit,  regardless  of  what  the  world  said,  they  would  not  have  had 
to  suffer  the  persecution  they  did.  Neither  would  I,  if  I  had  used 
the  law,  but  the  law  is  not  for  the  righteous,  but  for  the  ungodly. 
I  had  the  power,  and  God  knows  it;  as  much  as  the  Son  of  God 
had  the  power  to  scatter  his  enemies,  and  he  did  not  resist;  and 
if  I  were  to  walk  in  his  footsteps,  what  could  I  do  but  do  as  he 
did  ?  To  this  day  I  do  not  regret  one  step  I  have  taken  because 
I  have  walked  in  the  prints  of  my  dear  Savior's  feet!  It  is  now 
ten  years  since,  and,  thank  God,  he  has  given  me  grace  to  stand  and 
treat  my  enemies  with  kindness,  as  I  did  at  the  time  of  the  trouble, 
I  have  been  able  to  show  them  favors  the  last  ten  years,  and  like 
those  who  went  against  Job,  God  sent  to  Job  for  him  to  pray  for 
them,  and  without  a  doubt  and  beyond  all  question  God  sent  my 
enemies  to  me,  and  with  witnesses  I  can  say  they  asked  me  to  pray 
for  them.  Job.  42 :8 :  "Therefore  take  unto  you  now  seven  bullocks,, 
and  seven  rams,  and  go  to  my  servant  Job,  and  offer  up  for  yourselves 
a  burnt-offering;  and  my  servant  Job  shall  pray  for  you:  for  him 
will  I  accept :  lest  I  deal  with  you  after  your  folly,  in  that  ye  have 
not  spoken  of  me  the  thing  which  is  right,  like  my  servant  Job." 
Job  had  to  suffer.  If  you  notice  every  true  follower  of  Jesus  Christ,, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  I7Q 

those  who  walk  in  his  footsteps  regardless  of  church,  the  world, 
father  or  mother,  brother  or  sister,  wife,  husband  or  children,  paying 
no  attention  to  friend  or  neighbor,  whether  they  interfere  or  not, 
and  with  all  of  this  we  have  the  very  prince  of  the  air  to  contend 
with,  with  all  the  power  of  darkness  and  spiritual  wickedness  in 
high  places,  which  means  as  much  suffering  as  in  the  times  of  old, 
or  the  time  of  Martin  Luther,  or  John  Knox,  or  Peter  Cartwright,. 
or  Charles  Wesley,  or  even  down  to  the  martyrs  of  the  present 
day.  Does  it  not  call  forth  as  much  of  the  spirit  of  martyrdom  now 
as  it  ever  did  to  live  a  true  Christian  life?  And  as  much  knowl- 
edge and  wisdom  and  grace  and  love  as  then?  Was  the  cunning- 
ness  of  the  devil  ever  more  manifest  than  it  is  at  the  present  day? 
Tell  me  of  the  time  since  the  beginning  of  the  world,  considering 
the  light  and  grace,  when  the  very  elements  were  more  laden  with 
the  powers  of  wickedness,  controlling  the  very  mind  and  acts  of 
mankind  than  it  is  to-day.  Yes,  my  dear  reader  and  friend  and 
brother,  it  means  suffering  and  fiery  furnaces  to  purify  the  body, 
soul  and  mind  and  spirit,  a  continual  and  constant  flow  of  the  blood 
that  was  shed  on  Calvary,  to  keep  us  clean  and  spotless.  Oh,  how 
little  did  I  know  what  it  meant  for  me  twenty-one  years  ago,  when 
I  started  out  on  this  blood-bought,  rugged  way,  where  the  thorns 
our  Master  wore  are  strewn  not  only  to  pierce  our  feet,  but  to 
crucify.  But  blest  be  his  name  forever,  I  find  him  in  the  valley  as 
well  as  on  the  mountain  top,  and  as  the  poet  said :  "I  find 
him  wherever  he  leads,  the  fairest  of  ten  thousand  to  my  soul." 
Indeed,  "He  is  the  lily  of  the  valley,"  as  well  as  the  glory  of  the 
mountain  top. 

The  first  two  months  I  went  two  and  three  times  a  week.  I  led 
the  Wednesday  evening  prayer  meeting  and  worked  at  the  altar 
and  out  among  the  audience  in  the  after  meeting,  and  you  can 
see  from  my  monthly  reports  I  did  a  good  deal  of  visiting  besides 
the  calls  at  my  home.  I  would  lead  one  of  the  meetings  several 
times  in  a  month  besides  the  prayer  meetings.  I  want  to  say  some- 
thing about  our  duty  to  God,  that  it  may  not  be  said  of  us  that 
we  have  robbed  God.  I  will  tell  you  why  I  want  to  talk  about  this : 
Many  church  members  in  the  city  of  Denver  have  asked  me  if 
my  husband  was  pleased  with  the  work  I  was  doing.  I  have  not 
mentioned  the  work  anywhere  but  what  the  leading  preachers  have 
asked  me  if  my  husband  was  pleased,  and  there  is  scarcely  one 
in  the  neighborhood  but  has  asked  the  same  thing.  If  they  have 
not  asked  me,  they  have  asked  some  of  the  neighbors,  who  have 
come  and  told  me,  if  my  husband  was  willing  for  me  to  do  as 
I  did.  Some  of  the  church  members  and  some  of  the*  neighbors 
have  said  they  would  not  live  with  me  if  they  were  Mr.  Peterson; 


180  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

they  would  not  have  a  wife  who  ran  around  like  I  did,  and  had 
such  trash  around  them  all  the  time.  They  have  told  Mr.  Peterson 
he  was  a  fool  to  live  with  a  woman  like  that,  and  if  they  were 
in  his  place  they  would  leave  me.  Letters  have  come  to  the 
house  to  Mr.  Peterson,  and  I  have  received  them — letters  threaten- 
ing me  as  well  as  letters  of  abuse.  Some  were  shameful,  calling  me 
every  ugly  name  possible.  Letters  to  Mr.  Peterson  would  suggest 
the  advisability  of  looking  out  for  me;  that  I  was  devilish  enough 
to  drug  him,  etc.  Some  wanted  him  to  watch  the  front  bedroom 
window.  They  believed  I  let  some  one  in  by  the  front  room 
window^  They  told  him  all  I  wanted  of  him  was  to  pay  the  taxes 
and  water  license.  Now,  think  of  it !  Half  of  them  are  professed 
Christians,  belonging  to  church,  claiming  to  be  living  lives  of  faith. 
Mr.  Peterson  has  received  many  letters  on  these  lines.  I  know  I  am 
safe  in  saying  a  bushel  basket  would  hardly  hold  the  anonymous 
letters  received.  Could  you,  or  anyone,  blame  him  if  he  has  won- 
dered if  there  was  anything  in  the  coffee-pot?  I  say  no,  when  this 
would  come  from  those  making  loud  professions  of  being  sanctified. 
Would  you  blame  him  if  he  would  use  a  dark  lantern,  or  have  a 
revolver  handy,  or  listen  when  he  thought  he  hard  a  noise?  More 
than  once  Mr.  Peterson  and  I  have  sat  down  and  talked  the 
matter  over,  and  he  would  often  ask  me  if  I  thought  we  were 
intended  for  one  another.  Our  thoughts  and  ideas  and  natures  were 
so  different.  We  were  no  more  alike  than  the  day  and  the  night. 
All  he  wanted  was  a  good  job,  and  he  usually  had  that.  For 
twenty  years  he  received  from  $85  to  $90  a  month.  God  has 
blessed  him  in  that  way  and  given  him  good  health,  with  the  ex- 
ception of  a  little  heart  trouble,  which  he  has  had  ever  since  I 
knew  him,  caused  from  service  in  the  army,  before  I  knew  him.  His 
work  has  not  been  laborious,  for  he  was  foreman  all  these  years 
except  one  or  two.  No  one  in  this  world  could  ever  say  in  what 
way  I  have  not  done  my  duty  about  the  house.  I  did  everything 
about  the  home  to  please  him.  He  never  had  any  of  its  cares.  For 
all  these  years  he  has  not  carried  a  dozen  buckets  of  coal  a  year. 
I  always  had  his  clothes  and  meals  ready.  He  never  had  to  cut 
kindling,  or  make  fires  or  carry  water,  or  tend  the  lawn  or  the 
garden,  which  we  have  had  for  twenty  years.  I  always  attended  to  the 
pulling  of  weeds  and  watering  of  the  lawn.  I  don't  believe  he  has 
pulled  a  tubful  of  weeds  in  twenty  years,  or  lost  more  than  a  dozen 
nights'  sleep  through  all  the  sickness  we  have  had  in  twenty  years 
of  married  life.  I  have  made  the  fire,  winter  and  summer.  The 
neighbors  and  church  members  have  said  he  was  too  good  for  me, 
because  he  was  so  good  to  provide  for  his  family.  Yet  he  never  saw 
the  day  he  worked  harder  than  did  I.  While  the  most  of  my 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  l8l 

neighbors  and  church  members  were  in  bed  asleep,  I  was  up  and 
at  work,  had  my  washing  over  and  work  done  up,  sweeping  and 
all,  when  they  were  getting  out  of  bed.  No  one  could  say  my 
house  was  not  clean ;  if  I  did  not  spend  all  my  time  puttering 
around,  as  many  do.  So  many  women  are  a  disgrace  to  the  old- 
time  mothers  of  Israel.  Read  your  bible  and  see,  my  woman  friend, 
where  you  are.  If  they  had  read  their  bibles  more  they  could 
not  have  had  the  conscience  to  cause  me  to  go  through  the  suffering 
of  hell  as  I  have  done.  Look  at  the  advantages  woman  has  to-day 
in  the  housework,  compared  to  what  our  mothers  and  grandmothers 
had — the  sewing  machine  and  numberless  other  things  to  make  their 
work  ea^y  and  rapid,  and  yet  they  have  no  time  to  do  good.  The 
best  of  us  are  nothing  but  unprofitable  servants,  for  God  says  so, 
and  yet  so  many  think  they  are  so  much  better  than  others.  Oh, 
how  like  the  pharisee,  when  he  said  he  thanked  God  he  was  not 
as  that  man,  the  publican,  and  in  the  eyes  of  God  the  publican  was 
the  best  of  the  two.  Now,  friends,  look  out!  God  looks  at  the 
heart,  and  man  looks  to  the  outward  appearance.  Are  you  sure  you 
are  nearer' heaven  than  the  one  you  are  talking  about?  Can  you 
find  bible  authority  to  prove  that  you  are?  As  I  said,  Mr.  Peterson 
wzfs  not  to  blame.  It  was  these  busybodies  the  word  of  God  tells 
us  about.  Not  that  my  neighbors  are  any  worse  than  other  neigh- 
for  human  nature  is  everywhere  much  alike.  I  have  heard 
preachers  say  they  would  rather  go  to  one's  neighbors  to  find  out  what 
kind  of  a  person  one  is.  "Talk  to  one  of  the  family  and  see  if  he  or 
she  is  what  they  profess  to  be."  God  tells  us  in  his  word,  and  Jesus 
himself  says  in  Luke  12:49:  "I  am  come  to  send  fire  on  the  earth: 
and  what  will  I,  if  it  be  all  ready  kindled?"  And  in  the  5ist,  $2d 
and  53d  verses:  "Suppose  ye  that  I  am  come  to  give  peace  on  earth? 
I  tell  you,  Nay ;  but  rather  division :  for  from  henceforth  there  shall 
be  five  in  one  house  divided,  three  against  two,  and  two  against 
three.  The  father  shall  be  divided  against  the  son,  and  the  son 
against  the  father;  the  mother  against  the  daughter,  and  the  daugh- 
ter against  the  mother;  the  mother-in-law  against  her  daughter-in- 
law,  and  the  daughter-in-law  against  her  mother-in-law."  Then 
again  the  same  thing  in  Micah  7:6:  "For  the  son  dishonoured 
the  father,  the  daughter  riseth  up  against  her  mother,  the  daughter- 
in-law  against  her  mother-in-law;  a  man's  enemies  are  the  men  of 
his  own  house."  Now  whom  will  you  trust?  So  many  think  it 
shameful  to  speak  of  a  little  trouble  in  the  home.  Christ  him -elf 
-aid  in  Matt.  10:36:  "And  a  man's  foes  shall  be  they  of  his  own 
household."  Does  it  not  say  in  Micah  7:5:  "Trust  ye  not  in  a 
frimd,  put  ye  not  confidence  in  a  guide;  keep  the  doors  of  thy 
mouth  from  her  that  lieth  in  thy  bosom."  Not  even  trust  the  wife 


l82  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

or  husband  when  it  comes  to  things  of  this  world.  In  the  same 
chapter  of  Micah,  4th  verse,  we  learn  why:  "The  best  of  them 
is  a  brier:  the  most  upright  is  sharper  than  a  thorn-hedge."  No 
wonder  Christ  said  not  to  let  the  right  hand  know  what  the  left 
hand  doeth.  That  is  why  I  had  to  do  almost  all  of  my  good 
work  without  my  husband  knowing;  for  in  what  he  did  know, 
he  did  all  that  lay  in  his  power  to  hinder  me,  which  is  no  more 
than  the  best  preacher  or  husband  in  the  city  of  Denver  would 
do.  At  least  I  have  never  seen  a  man  of  God  in  this  city  who 
would  let  his  wife  do  what  I  do,  though  I  do  not  do  one  thing  out 
of  Christ's  own  teachings.  My  husband  did  not  have  the  light  on 
the  way  every  woman  and  man  should  walk  in  the  footsteps  of 
our  Savior.  Do  you  think  I  blame  him,  when  so  many  who  claim  to 
know  so  much  of  the  word  of  God  did  all  they  could  to  get  him 
to  compel  me  to  stop?  I  know  this  to  be  a  fact.  Do  not  think 
I  have  not  suffered  in  doing  the  will  of  my  Master,  and  especially 
when  my  husband  got  one  of  those  letters,  or  when  someone  had 
been  talking  to  him.  I  could  tell  the  moment  he  came  into  the 
house,  as  plainly  as  a  woman  can  tell  if  her  husband' comes  in 
drunk.  How  many  times  I  have  sat  on  the  bedside  before  lying 
down,  wondering  if  I  would  be  alive,  in  the  morning !  And  all 
because  I  was  doing  the  whole  will  of  God.  I  would  lift  my  heart  to 
God  and  say :  "Lord,  you  know  I  have  done  nothing ;  Lord,  you 
know  my  heart,  and  if  you  want  me  to  die  for  your  cause  I 
am  willing."  I  knew  I  had  done  nothing  in  thought,  word  or  deed 
that  was  a  sin.  All  I  did  was  to  the  glory  of  God,  and  he  knows 
it,  that  some  might  be  saved.  Not  one  lustful  act  or  deed  did  I 
commit.  I  can  say  this  from  the  heart,  and  I  could  feel  such  a  strong 
protecting  faith  because  I  knew  I  was  in  the  shadow  of  the 
Almighty,  and  he  would  spare  my  life.  Not  that  I  have  not  made 
mistakes ;  but  they  were  not  from  the  heart,  nor  in  the  spirit, 
knowingly.  Not  that  I  have  been  exempt  from  blunders,  and 
big  ones,  too;  for  I  know  from  experience  there  never  was  one  in 
this  world  as  thick-headed  as  I  have  been,  or  who  made  more 
blunders,  that  some  might  say  were  sins.  But  I  know  my  own 
heart,  that  it  was  pure,  and  the  time  came  when  God  purified  my 
spirit,  as  I  would  learn.  I  could  say  within  myself:  "There 
is  therefore  now  no  condemnation  to  them  which  are  in  Christ 
Jesus,  who  walk  not  after  the  flesh,  but  after  the  spirit."  Rom.  8:1. 
I  learned  to  walk,  though  I  made  many  blunders.  But  I  can 
look  you  in  the  eye  at  the  bar  of  God  and  tell  you  they  were  of 
the  head,  and  not  of  the  heart  or  spirit.  That  is  why  I  am  so  sure 
that  almost  everything  a  true  Christian  does  is  from  the  head  and 
not  the  heart.  God  says,  in  I  John,  3  \g :  "Whosoever  is  born  of 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  183 

God  doth  not  commit  sin ;  for  his  seed^  remaineth  in  him ;  and 
he  cannot  sin,  because  he  is  born  of  God."  I  know  the  seed  has 
been  in  my  heart  for  the  last  twenty  years.  Thank  God  I  have 
never  gone  back  into  the  world,  and  by  his  grace  I  never  shall. 
On  this  promise  in  his  word  I  have  stood  in  the  wild,  fierce  storms 
that  have  been  dashing  about  my  feet  like  great  billows.  It  has 
enabled  me  to  overcome.  God  says :  "What  is  it  that  gives  us  the 
victory?  Faith."  Yes,  it  is  faith  in  his  word  that  enables  us  to 
stand  on  this  promise — that  all  things  work  together  for  good  to 
them  that  love  God.  I  do  not  mean  willful  sin,  nor  premeditated  sin. 
One  who  does  that  has  no  promise  of  eternal  life.  Every  blunder 
from  the  beginning  of  my  Christian  life  has  been  contrary  to  my 
inmost  soul,  and  I  have  always  been  sorry  and  tried  so  hard  not 
to  make  the  same  mistake  a  second  time.  And  although  I  have, 
it  has  never  lessened  the  desire  to  overcome  the  blunder.  That 
is  not  wilful  sin.  For  three  years  there  was  one  sin  that  would 
get  the  best  of  me,  and  always  against  my  will.  That  sin  was  anger. 
Every  time  I  got  angry  I  was  sorry.  It  is  the  same  with  every 
true  Christian ;  and  it  is  an  awful  experience,  whether  the  sin  be 
small  or  great,  when  you  know  you  are  willing  to  do  right  in 
your  heart,  and  inadvertently  do .  wrong.  But  if  you  premeditate 
a  sin,  whether  it  be  great  or  small,  and  then  go  and  do  it,  I 
do  not  see  how  you  are  going  to  get  into  heaven.  Those  little  sins, 
that  so  many  of  the  children  of  God  are  guilty  of,  are  anger  and 
speaking  evil  one  of  another,  when  God  has  told  them  so  plainly 
to  speak  evil  of  no  one.  And  they  will  keep  a  story  in  their  mind 
till  they  get  a  chance  to  tell  it  to  some  one.  Is  not  that  a  wilful  sin? 
Look  out,  my  brother  or  sister,  lest  we  be  cast-aways.  If  Paul  was 
afraid  why  are  not  we?  I  am  so  glad  we  can  all  know  when  our 
hearts  condemn  us.  There  is  no  condemnation  in  love,  that  is  pure 
love,  and  I  know  I  have  loved  God  from  the  moment  I  gave  my 
heart  to  him  to  this  moment.  That  is  why  I  believe  that  no  one 
thing  has  come  into  my  life  but  I  have  profited  by  it.  I  know  noth- 
ing has  ever  happened  that  has  not  been  for  my  good,  and  I  do 
not  know  how  I  could  have  gotten  along  without  it.  Instead  of 
dragging  me  down  it  has  lifted  me  up  and  drawn  me  nearer  to 
the  Lord.  I  think  now  I  have  gotten  where  none  of  these  things 
can  move  me.  That  is  why  I  believe  if  Mr.  Peterson  had  not  been 
the  man  he  is,  I  never  would  have  been  the  Christian  I  am ;  for 
God  did  not  let  him  go  one  step  farther  than  I  was  able  to  bear. 
When  we  have  talked  together,  and  he  was  good-natured,  he  has 
told  me  he  could  go  just  so  far  and  something  would  stop  him.  He 
said  there  were  times  when  something  would  take  hold  of  his 
shoulder  like  a  hand,  and  the  thought  would  come:  "Stop;  you 


184  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

have  gone  far  enough."  And  he  said  he  was  helpless  and  sorry  for 
what  he  did.  I  could  not  tell  the  number  of  times  he  has  assured 
me  he  never  was  mean  or  ugly  to  me  that  he  was  not  sorry  for  it 
the  next  moment.  I  recall  once  when  he  received  an  anonymous 
letter,  telling  him  I  was  letting  some  of  the  jail  boys  eat  at  the 
house;  that  it  was  a  shame;  he  worked  too  hard  for  me  to  keep 
those  fellows.  After  he  got  the  letter  he  was  very  angry  with 
me.  I  think  I  know  who  the  letter  came  from,  for  he  was  told 
in  the  letter  of  a  poor,  simple  fellow,  who  inherited  a  disposition 
to  steal,  for  his  own  mother  said  she  was  the  fault  of  his  being 
as  he  was.  The  letter  told  Mr.  Peterson  of  his  trying  to  break 
into  the  house.  I  know  whom  I  had  told,  and  I  know  it  was  one 
of  the  five  who  sent  the  letter.  God  knows  I  had  kept  one  woman 
that  winter  for  $2  a  week  and  another  for  $3 ;  that  was  $5,  $20  .1 
month,  and  my  grocery  bill  was  only  that  for  us  all,  for  I  lived  and 
cooked  very  saving.  I  did  not  see  why  I  should  keep  the  family 
when  he  was  making  $85  and  $90  a  month,  why  I  could  not  have 
a  few  dollars  of  what  I  earned  to  feed  the  jail  boys  if  I  saw  fit.  At 
the  time  I  was  doing  this  he  got  the  letter  in  which  Brother 
Campbell  sent  me  $25  for  mission  work.  With  what  I  had  earned 
I  could  not  see  how  I  was  taking  Mr.  Peterson's  money.  When 
this  happened  I  was  doing  less  charity  work  than  I  had  done  for 
twenty-one  years.  I  was  giving  up  the  work  as  fast  as  I  could,  for 
God  had  led  me  to  take  up  other  kinds  of  work,  as  my  health 
was  so  broken  I  was  not  able  any  longer  to  help  the  needy  as  I 
had.  After  I  showed  Mr.  Peterson  the  grocery  book,  and  that 
the  expenses  of  the  house  were  the  same  as  always,  and  convinced 
him  I  had  not  used  a  cent  of  his  money,  he  could  see  that  people 
were  interfering  with  something  they  thought  they  knew  about,  but 
did  not.  I  know  it  was  one  of  the  five  that  wrote  the  letter,  for 
there  was  no  one  else  who  knew  anything  about  this  poor  fellow 
breaking  into  the  house.  I  have  never  lost  but  85  cents  by  the  jail 
boys  being  around  the  house.  God  would  not  permit  such  a  thing, 
when  he  knows  how  good  I  have  been  to  them  all.  I  have  been  so 
careful  not  to  use  any  of  Mr.  Peterson's  money  in  all  the  good 
I  have  clone.  That  is  why  I  have  gone  without  clothes  and  food 
myself.  If  I  had  not  I  could  not  have  done  the  good  I  have.  All 
who  know  anything  about  my  daily  life  know  I  have  gone  without 
food  and  raiment  to  help  others.  •  I  have  had  to  do  this  or  have 
trouble  all  the  time,  and  then  suffer  because  others  meddled.  I  have 
been  called  a .  "d —  hypocrite,"  saying  that  I  took  things  from  the 
poor  to  wear  and  eat ;  and  then  turn  and  say  I  was  taking  from 
Mr.  Peterson  and  giving  away.  That  is  why  I  will  give  you  an 
account  of  the  tenth  of  what  we  own  and  make,  and  then  we 


WATCHING    THE   BURGLAR   AT    HIS 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  185 

will  go  to  God's  word  and  find  what  God  says  about  our  neighbor 
imagining  evil  of  his  neighbor.  You  will  see  I  have  been  honest 
with  God  and  with  Mr.  Peterson  and  with  my  neighbors.  I  want 
to  let  you  see  what  God  says  about  neighbors  and  church-members 
meddling,  and  how  people  have  blamed  me  for  doing  the  very  things 
God  has  told  me  to  do.  The  reason  I  did  not  blame  them  was  because 
I  knew  they  did  not  know  their  bibles,  or  they  would  never  have 
spoken  as  they  did  about  me.  These  are  the  things  God  hates. 
Zech.  8:17:  "And  let  none  of  you  imagine  evil  in  your  hearts  against 
his  neighbor-,  and  love  no  false  oath:  for  all  these  things  I  hate, 
saith  the  Lord."  I  have  met  so  many  that  say  I  do  not  imagine  1 
know  the  thing  I  say  to  be  true.  We  will  see  what  God  says  in 
regard  to  facts.  Prov.  25:9:  "Debate  thy  cause  with  thy  neighbor 
himself;  and  discover  not  a  secret  to  another."  If  you  quote  this 
passage  of  scripture  to  them  they  tell  you  you  are  covering  their 
sins,  and  you  are  as  bad,  if  not  worse,  than  the  one  who  did  the 
deed.  But  let  us  look  again,  and  see  what  the  dear  old  book  says 
in  Prov.  11:13:  "A  tale-bearer  revealeth  secrets:  but  he  that  is 
of  a  faithful  spirit  concealeth  the  matter."  Does  not  that  mean  to 
say  nothing  against  anyone — to  speak  evil  of  no  man?  Prov.  17:9 
again  says :  "He  that  covereth  a  transgression  seeketh  love ;  but 
he  that  repeateth  a  matter,  separateth  very  friends."  I  wonder  if 
there  is  one  who  is  sanctified,  teacher  or  professor,  or  even  one 
who  claims  a  clean  heart  and  says  he  is  holy,  who  is  not  guilty  of 
this  sin.  I  have  heard  professors  repeat  many  things  that  are  not 
edifying  or  helpful.  Why  should  I  not  speak  against  those  who 
are  testifying  to  sanctification  when  they  are  doing  these  things 
that  God's  word  forbids?  Anyone  who  reads  the  bible  can  see, 
and  those  who  do  not  make  any  profession  know  better.  They 
know  they  profess  and  possess  not,  when  they  hear  them  repeat- 
ing things  they  have  heard  or  seen.  It  is  no  wonder  you  cannot 
depend  on  flesh,  for  the  nearest  one  to  you  cannot  understand  you. 
The  Lord  said,  when  he  was  here  on  earth,  in  Mark  6 14,  5 :  "But 
Jesus  said  unto  them,  A  prophet  is  not  without  honour,  but  in  his 
own  country,  and  among  his  own  kin,  and  in  his  own  house." 
When  Jesus,  himself,  could  do  nothing  with  his  own,  how  can 
we?  In  the  5th  verse  of  the  same  chapter,  he  said  "he  could  there 
do  no  mighty  work,  save  that  he  laid  his  hands  upon  a  few  sick 
folks,  and  healed  them."  In  the  6th  verse  "he  marveled  because  of 
their  unbelief.  And  he  went  round  about  the  villages  teaching." 
If  we  cannot  save  our  own,  let  us  go  out  and  save  others,  and 
let  some  one  -else  save  ours.  I  believe  my  family  is  saved,  for  I 
know  my  husband  is  sorry  for  his  sins  and  wrong  doings  the 
same  as  the  rest  of  us.  But  let  us  do  as  God  has  told  us  to*  do. 


l86  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

Phil.  2 :4,  5 :  "Look  riot  every  man  on  his  own  things,  but  every 
man  also  on  the  things  of  others."  And  the  5th  verse:  "Let  this 
mind  be  in  you,  which  also  was  in  Christ  Jesus."  Now  you  can 
see  why  no  more  of  our  loved  ones  and  neighbors  are  saved — 
because  we  are  not  out  trying  to  save  others  and  doing  some- 
thing outside  of  our  own  families.  May  God  bless  you  and  yours 
in  this  truth,  and  send  you  out  to  do  good  to  others,  to  lead 
you  \to  help  others  by  bringing  them  into  your  own  house,  and 
living  such  lives  before  them  that  they  may  see  your  good  works 
and  be  led  to  glorify  your  Father  in  heaven.  In  Rom.  13  :g  we  find : 
"For  this,  Thou  shalt  not  commit  adultery,  Thou  shalt  not  kill, 
Thou  shalt  not  steal,  Thou  shalt  not  bear  false  witness,  Thou 
shalt  not  covet;  and  if  there  be  any  other  commandment,  it  is 
briefly  comprehended  in  this  saying,  namely,  Thou  shalt  love  thy 
neighbor  as  thyself."  The  loth  verse:  "Love  worketh  no  ill  to  his 
neighbor :  therefore  love  is  the  fulfillment  of  the  law."  Paul, 
in  writing  to  the  Romans,  in  the  Qth  verse,  after  quoting  from  the 
moral  law  five  of  the  commandments,  tells  the  church  that  if  there 
be  any  other  commandment  to  be  obeyed  it  is  briefly  comprehended 
in  this  saying:  "Thou  shalt  love  thy  neighbor  as  thyself."  He 
does  not  give  the  whole  of  the  royal  law,  and  it  did  not  seem  to 
be  needed  just  there,  for  he  was  speaking  of  duties  of  man  to 
man,  not  ,of  man  to  God,  and  still  he  even  covers  the  whole  law 
with  one  word.  In  Gal.  5:14,  where  Paul  is  writing  to  the  church, 
he  says :  "For  all  the  law  is  fulfilled  in  one  word,  even  in  this, 
Thou  shalt  love  thy  neighbor  as  thyself."  And  again  in  James  2 :8 : 
"If  ye  fulfill  the  royal  law  according  to  the  scripture,  Thou  shalt  love 
thy  neighbor  as  thyself,  ye  de  well."  And  in  the  gth  verse: 
"But  if  ye  have  respect  to  persons,  ye  commit  sin."  It  makes 
no  difference  who  it  is ;  if  they  are  in  need  we  are  to  help  them, 
and  we  are  not  to  ask  whether  they  are  worthy  or  not.  When  it 
comes  to  that  none  of  us  are  worthy.  There  is  not  one  command- 
ment in  the  whole  bible  that  carries  with  it  such  weight  as  this 
one,  nor  is  there  a  greater  test  of  Christian  character,  nor  anything 
in  God's  word  that  Christians  are  stumbling  over  more  to-day.  The 
Lord  knows  if  he  can  get  them  to  love  everyone  they  meet,  friend 
or  stranger,  neighbor  or  enemy,  there  will  be  no  danger  of  not  keep- 
ing the  rest  of  the  commandments.  Ah,  how  many  who  have  not  prac- 
ticed this  love  will  find  out  at  the  judgment  seat  that  their  life 
has  been  a  failure  because  they  have  not  loved  everybody  as  they 
should.  If  we  have  the  right  kind  of  love  we  will  not  harm  anyone 
in  any  way,  with  our  tongues  or  in  deed ;  we  will  be.  harmed  our- 
'selves  before  we  will  harm  others,  and  do  all  we  can  to  comfort 
them,  whether  they  be  our  enemies  or  not.  Now,  when  we  know 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  187 

if  we  have  respect  to  persons,  which  means  that  we  love  some 
spiritually  more  than  others,  we  commit  sin.  Oh,  dear  reader,  do 
we  know  what  it  means  to  love  all  and  be  kind  and  tender-hearted 
to  all?  It  means  we  must  have  all  the  selfishness  and  covetousness 
eradicated  from  the  heart  by  divine  power  before  we  can  act  in 
love  toward  our  enemies.  There  are  too  many  who  think  this  word 
requires  the  division  of  our  substance  with  our  neighbor,  when  I 
have  no  doubt  but  if  we  could  get  half  of  our  Christian  people  to 
give  all  they  have  it  would  give  them  some  idea  what  this  love 
is.  Still,  it  did  not  do  the  scribe  and  pharisee  any  good,  for  Jesus 
said :  "For  ye  pay  tithe  of  mint  and  anise  and  cummin,  and  have 
omitted  the  weightier  matters  of  the  law,  judgment,  mercy  and  faith/' 
(Matt.  23:23.)  So  many  will  go  a  little  farther  than  the  scribe— they 
will  have  faith,  but  little  or  no  mercy.  Do  we  know  what  unselfish- 
ness and  mercy  means?  It  means  help  where  help  is  needed,  no  mat- 
ter who  needs  it — your  enemy  or  anyone.  The  beautiful  parable  of 
the  good  Samaritan  was  called  forth  by  the  question  of  the  lawyer 
who  asked:  "Who  is  my  neighbor?"  After  Jesus'  answer  he  had 
nothing  to  say,  and  when  the  blind  man  was  begging,  Peter  told 
him  he  had  no  silver  or  gold,  but  would  give  him  what  he  had.  This 
is  the  true  field  of  labor,  the  enlightening  of  dark  minds,  and  we 
have  those  objects  of  love  everywhere,  I  may  say  almost  the  great 
mass  of  mankind.  I  have  tried  to  live  love  in  the  meaning  of 
it,  and  I  have  suffered  therefor.  Even  my  own  have  said  I  was 
"stuck  on"  or  in  love  with  this  or  that  one  if  they  were  men  I  was 
helping,  and  if  they  were  women,  then  they  would  say :  "Well, 
there  is  something  between  them,  and  she's  afraid  to  say  anything 
against  her.  TQ  think  she  would  have  a  woman  like  that  around 
her  daughter!"  If  you  do  not  believe  what  I  say,  try  loving  your 
neighbor  as  yourself,  and  see  if  they  will  not  say  there  is  something 
wrong  and  that  you  are  a  free-lover.  But  God  tells  us  they  are  blind 
and  cannot  see  afar  off.  This  is  why  they  cannot  love  their  neigh- 
bors as  themselves. 

Here  is  my  account  with  the  Lord,  showing  the  tenth  belonging 
to  him  out  of  what  he  has  blessed  us  with :     Will  a  man  rob  God  ? 


l88  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

CHAPTER  XV. 

WHAT   I  OWE   TO   GOD. 

Mr.  Peterson's  monthly  wages $  85.00 

One-tenth  of  his  monthly  wages 8.50 

Twelve   times  $8.50 $102.00 

Value  of  residence  property $1,600.00 

One-tenth  of  same 160.00 

Rental  value  of  property  per  month 15.00 

One-tenth  of  same 1.50 

One-tenth  of  same  for  one  year 18.00 

RECAPITULATION. 

One-tenth  of   wages,  per   month $       8.50 

One-tenth  of  rent,  per  month 1.50 


Total   tithe  money,  per  month .• $     10.00 

Total  tithe  money,  per  year $    120.00 

Total  tithe  money  for  fifteen  years $1,800.00 

My  part  of  father's  estate $    180.00 

One-tenth  of  same 18.00 

Total  tithe  money  for  one  year $    138.00 

SD  YOU  see  I  have  given  only  $130.70  outside  of  the  Lord's  own 
money.  Ten  dollars  of  this  amount  I  gave  toward  the  building 
of  the  gospel  wagon,  leaving  $120.70.  The  clothing  donated 
during  this  year  was  given  me,  which  was  valued  at  $110.25.  The 
$120.70  was  my  own  free-will  offering,  which  I  gave  in  the  work 
of  1893,  and  $29.50  in  my  first  year's  work  in  the  Haymarket  Mis- 
sion. I  know  this  to  be  my  greatest  year's  work  for  fifteen  years. 
I  have  not  exceeded  this  amount  in  the  finance  line.  Now,  how 
could  my  husband  or  neighbors  or  Christian  friends  say  I  was 
giving  away  my  husband's  hard-earned  money?  Some  one  might 
object  to  my  taking  a  tenth  of  Mr.  Peterson's  half,  as  the  law 
gives  me  half  of  his  wages.  You  will  see  in  reading  the  story  of 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  l8p 

my  life  that  I  have  gone  without  clothes  and  things  to  eat,  amount- 
ing to  more  than  a  tenth  of  Mr.  Peterson's  wages.  Now,  you 
see,  after  I  gave  the  tenth  which  belongs  to  the  Lord,  and  is 
not  mine  to  give,  that  this  $120.70  is  left,  then  I  gave  the  tenth 
spoken  of  in  Chron.  31 :6,  where  it  speaks  of  the  second  tenth, 
which,  when  deducted  from  the  $120.70,  would  leave  me  $29.50. 
This  is  all  I  have  given  over  what  God  commands  all  of  us  to  give, 
and  who  should  find  fault  if  I  have  given  the  little  sum  of  $29.50 
extra  in  the  year's  work?  Mai.  3:8:  "Will  a  man  rob  God?  Yet 
ye  have  robbed  me.  But  ye  say,  Wherein  have  we  robbed  thee? 
In  tithes  and  offerings."  That  is  the  answer  to  everyone  who 
does  not  give  a  tenth  of  what  they  have.  They  are  robbing  God. 
This  is  a  bible  commandment,  and  is  not  left  for  your  own  dis- 
cretion. In  Lev.  27 130-34,  God  said  it  belonged  to  him,  "all  the 
tithe  of  the  land,  whether  of  the  seed  of  the  land,  or  of  the  fruit 
of  the  tree,  is  the  Lord's:  it  is  holy  unto  the  Lord."  In  the  33d 
verse :  "He  shall  not  search  whether  it  be  good  or  bad,  neither 
shall  he  change  it ;  and  if  he  change  it  at  all,  then  both  it  and 
the  change  thereof  shall  be  holy ;  it  shall  not  be  redeemed." 
This  shows  clearly  that  it  belongs  by  right  to  the  Lord.  The  land 
belongs  to  him,  though  we  have  it  deeded  in  our  name.  He  says, 
"their  inward  thought  is  that  their  houses  shall  continue  forever, 
and  their  dwelling  places  to  all  generations ;  they  call  their  lands 
after  their  own  names."  (Ps.  49:11.)  Now,  God  says:  "For 
every  beast  of  the  forest  is  mine,  and  the  cattle  upon  a  thousand 
hills.  I  know  all  the  fowls  of  the  mountains ;  and  the  wild  beasts  of 
the  field  are  mine.  If  I  were  hungry,  I  would  not  tell  thee:  for 
the  world  is  mine,  and  the  fullness  thereof."  (Ps.  50:10-13.)  Then 
God  is  the  rightful  owner  of  the  land  and  of  the  cattle.  It  is  a 
hard  thing  that  he  asks  the  paltry  sum  of  one-tenth,  which  is  a 
very  small  revenue  on  our  part,  and  yet  it*  is  God's  command ! 
This  is  not  giving,  for  it  already  belongs  to  God.  In  Lev.  27  130, 
the  tithe  is  declared  unto  the  Lord,  hence  it  belongs  to  him,  and 
from  the  nature  of  the  thing,  it  is  good  and  right.  Tithing  was 
practiced  about  five  hundred  years  before  any  law  was  given.  (Gen. 
14:20  and  28:22,  B.  C.  1913.)  The  law  was  given  1491  B.  C.  This 
shows  it  was  considered  binding  from  a  moral  standpoint,  as  no  law 
compels  its  payment.  Again  in  Matt.  5:18.  This  is  the  moral  law, 
the  law  he  fulfilled. 

It  was  typical  of  him,  and  all  things  connected  with  it  pointed 
to  him  as  a  sacrificial  offering  for  sin.  Sacrifice  or  works  cannot 
atone  for  our  sins.  It  must  be  repentance  on  our  part  and  faith 
in  his  blood.  The  law  of  tithing  was  not  ceremonial,  and  did  not 
point  to  Christ  as  a  sacrifice,  hence  it  was  not  destroyed.  It  is 


IQO  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

morally  binding  upon  us  to-day,  yet  there  are  people  to-day  who 
think  they  are  going  to  heaven  when  they  have  not  even  kept  the 
moral  law.  God  tells  us  the  first  fruits  of  corn,  oxen  and  sheep, 
and  the  tithe  of  holy  things  which  were  consecrated  unto  the  Lord 
their  God,  and  laid  them  by  heaps  (II  Chron.  31 15,  6).  Notice  the 
two  different  tithes — the  six  words  in  II  Chron.  31:6:  "And  the 
tithe  of  holy  things."  That  means  the  tenth  belongs  to  the  Lord. 
It  is  holy,  and  a  thing  that  belongs  to  God  cannot  be  given.  We 
cannot  give  a  thing  that  already  belongs  to  one.  Then  where  is 
our  giving?  Read  Lev.  27:30-32.  Only  ten  words  of  it  will  show 
you  that  the  tenth  is  holy.  It  is  holy  unto  the  Lord.  Now  you  will 
see  the  children  of  Israel  gave  the  tenth  of  what  they  had,  and 
the  holy  things,  which  means  a  tenth  of  what  they  owned,  and 
then  the  holy  things  the  Lord  speaks  of  in  II  Chron.  31 :6.  The 
children  of  Israel  "brought  in  the  tithe  of  oxen  and  sheep,  and 
the  tithe  of  holy  things  which  were  consecrated  unto  the  Lord," 
which  means  the  tenth.  Lev.  27 126 :  "Only  the  firstling  of  the 
beasts,  which  should  be  the  Lord's  firstling,  no  man  shall  sanctify 
it;"  for  we  cannot  help  seeing  it  is  already  sanctified.  It  is  already 
holy,  and  when  *we  use  this  holy  part  we  are  not  only  robbing 
God,  but  we  are  using  a  holy,  consecrated  thing,  and  what  is  that 
holy,  consecrated  thing?  It  is  ten  cents  of  every  dollar  you 
earn.  Why  is  it  holy?  Because  God  has  so  declared  it  to  be  holy. 
The  Lord's  share,  then,  if  we  give  a  tenth  of  what  belongs  to  us, 
must  come  out  of  the  ninety  cents  of  every  dollar,  which  would 
leave  us  eighty-one  cents  honestly  our  own.  The  Lord  encouraged 
giving  in  Matt.  23 123 :  "Woe  unto  you,  scribes  and  Pharisees, 
hypocrites !  for  ye  pay  tithe  of  mint,  and  anise,  and  cummin,  and 
have  omitted  the  weightier  matters  of  the  law,  judgment,  mercy, 
and  faith :  these  ought  ye  to  have  done,  and  not  to  leave  the  other 
undone."  You  migrit  ask,  what  is  the  meaning  of  tithes?  Gen. 
14:19,  20:  "And  he  [God]  blessed  him,  and  said,  Blessed  be  Abram 
of  the  most  high  God,  possessor  of  heaven  and  earth :  and  blessed 
be  the  most  high  God,  which  has  delivered  thine  enemies  into  thine 
hand.  And  he  gave  him  tithes  of  all."  And  in  Heb.  7 :4,  where 
Paul  is  speaking  of  Abraham  giving.  Now  consider  how  great  this 
man  was.  If  we  live  as  Abraham  did  in  our  financial  affairs, 
God  will  prosper  us,  and  the  old-time  power  will  return,  and  the 
heathens  will  rise  up  and  call  us  blessed  of  the  Lord.  As  Paul 
says,  give  according  to  the  purpose  in  your  heart,  and  let  that 
purpose  be  true  and  honest  with  God.  II  Cor.  9:7,  commands  us 
to  give  "not  grudgingly,  or  of  necessity,  for  God  loveth  a  cheer- 
ful giver."  In  the  6th  verse:  "But  this  I  say,  He  which  soweth 
sparingly  shall  reap  sparingly,  and  he  which  soweth  bountifully 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  IQI 

shall  reap  also  bountifully."  Too  many  Christians  are  too  close- 
fisted  to  try  this,  and  that  is  why  so  many  are  so  poor,  and  yet 
they  are  so  blind  they  can't  see  the  cause!  They  haven't  invested 
their  money  bountifully,  and  they  call,  their  disobedience  bad 
"luck,"  when  God  is  the  cause  of  the  "luck."  Sickness  will  come 
into  your  family,  you  will  be  out  of  work,  or  something  else 
will  happen.  You  will  not  prosper  when  you  do  not  give  to  him 
what  rightfully  belongs  to  him,  for  he  says  you  shall  reap  sparingly, 
though  heaven  and  earth  pass  away.  Let  us  listen  to  what  God  says 
in  the  pth  verse  of  the  same  chapter:  "As  it  was  written,  he 
hath  dispersed  abroad ;  he  hath  given  to  the  poor ;  his  righteousness 
remaineth  forever."  Some  of  God's  children  have  promised  they 
will  do  what  he  commands  them,  but  have  they  done  it?  Some 
are  without  joy  and  peace.  They  agonize  with  God  for  his  spirit 
and  wonder  where  the  blesser  is.  Stop  a  moment,  my  brother  or 
sister!  Listen  to  the  voice  of  God.  "Pay  thy  vows  unto  the  Most 
High,  and  call  upon  me  in  the  day  of  trouble,  and  I  will  deliver 
thee,  and  thou  shalt  glorify  me."  How  can  we  glorify  God  while 
keeping  his  money  in  our  pockets  or  in  the  bank  or  out  on  interest? 
We  know  the  poor  missionaries  have  been  compelled  to  leave  their 
work  because  of  the  want  of  a  living.  What  will  God  say  to  the 
unjust  stewards?  It  is  not  everyone  that  says  Lord,  Lord,  that 
shall  enter  into  the  kingdom.  We  will  pay  taxes  to  the  govern- 
ment to  carry  on  the  war  and  build  gunboats,  but  we  will  not 
pay  our  taxes  to  God  to  carry  on  the  war  against  Satan.  My 
brother,  you  may  close  your  eyes  to  this  entreaty,  but  you  must 
meet  it  at  the  judgment. 

There  is  a  class  of  Christians  who  will  give  the  minister  fits 
for  having  oyster  stews  in  the  church,  when  it  is  the  people.  In 
place  of  abusing  the  poor  ministers  of  the  gospel,  they  should  get 
their  bibles  out  and  teach  the  people  what  God  says  about  giving. 
They  should  not  be  recognized  as  Christians  if  they  are  not  honest 
at  heart,  and  if  they  are  they  will  give  their  tenth,  and  when  they 
do  their  duty  on  these  lines  they  will  never  have  to  give  another 
oyster  supper  as  long  as  the  world  stands.  The  church  will  be 
able  to  care  for  and  bury  their  poor,  and  meet  all  other  expenses. 
They  would  not  have  to  turn  their  poor  over  to  the  county.  I 
know  so  many  Christians  who  would  rather  pay  money  into  a  lodge 
than  a  church,  because  the  lodge  will  care  for  them  and  bury  them. 
They  are  afraid  to  depend  on  the  church  for  fear  the  county  will 
have  to  do  it.  That  is  why  I  have  nothing  to  say  against  secret 
organizations,  because  the  church  will  not  come  up  to  the  bible 
standard.  I  don't  know  that  we  need  to  say  any  more  on  these 
lines,  as  they  are  only  shadows  of  things  to  come. 


192  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

Christ  put  little  stress  on  those  things.  In  Col.  2:16,  17,  Paul 
tells  us:  "Let  no  man  therefore  judge  you  in  meat,  or  in  drink,  or 
in  respect  of  an  holy  !day,  or  of  the  new-moon,  or  of  the  sabbath- 
days  :  which  are  a  shadow  of  things  to  come ;  but  the  body  is  of 
Christ."  I  John  3 :22-2*4 :  "And  whatsoever  we  ask,  we  receive 
of  him,  because  we  keep  his  commandments,  and  do  those  things 
that  are  pleasing  in  his  sight.  And  this  is  his  commandment ; 
That  we  should  believe  on  the  name  of  his  Son  Jesus  Christ,  and 
love  one  another,  as  he  gave  us  commandment.  And  he  that 
keepeth  his  commandments,  dwelleth  in  him,  and  he  in  him.  And 
hereby  we  know  that  he  abideth  in  us,  by  the  Spirit  which  he  hath 
given  us."  Rom.  14  :$ :  "One  man  esteemeth  one  day  above 
another :  another  esteemeth  every  day  alike.  Let  every  man 
be  fully  persuaded  in  his  own  mind."  And  in  the  6th  verse  Paul 
says:  "He  that  regardeth  the  day,  regardeth  it  unto  the  Lord," 
so  all  these  things  amount  to  little  compared  with  the  command- 
ment that  we  should  love  one  another.  There  are  many  who  have 
tried  to  get  my  opinion  on  these  lines,  but  I  answer  them  as  I 
answered  the  railroad  conductor  one  day  when  I  was  on  his  train 
going  to  fill  one  of  my  appointments  in  the  mountains.  The  brake- 
man  said  to  the  conductor:  "Let  me  introduce  you  to  Mrs.  Peter- 
son; she  is  one  of  Brother  Uzzell's  right-hand  bowers."  I  neither 
knew  the  conductor  nor  the  brakeman,  but  the  brakeman  had  evi- 
dently seen  me  at  the  meetings  in  the  Tabernacle.  After  the  train 
had  left  Denver  the  conductor  came  to  me  and  said :  "I  want  to 
ask  you  some  questions."  I  replied:  "Go  ahead."  "I  would  like 
to  know,"  he  began,  "where  all  these  different  denominations  are 
going."  "All  I  can  give  you,  my  brother,  is  God's  word :  'He  that 
believeth  in  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  shall  be  saved/"  He  rejoined: 
"Do  you  think  it  means  the  Catholics,  too?"  "It  is  not  for  me 
to  'think ;'  I  must  take  God's  word  as .  it  is,  and  it  surely  means 
them  as  well  as  others."  Then  he  said:  "Look  at  all  the  different 
opinions  about  Moses'  body."  I  replied:  "It  is  none  of  my  busi- 
ness what  God  did  with  Moses'  body.  He  will  tend  to  that."  Then 
he  asked  me  about  the  soul-sleepers  and  the  Adventists,  saying: 
"What  do  you  think  about  a  hell?"  "As  for  the  -soul,"  I  an- 
swered, "that  is  God's  business,  and  the  Seventh-day  Adventists  God 
will  see  to.  I  need  not  bother  my  head  about  them.  The  word 
says  there  is  a  hell,  as  it  says  there  is  a  heaven,  and  what  my  mind 
and  heart  is  filled  with  is  to  gain  heaven  and  shun  hell  for  myself 
and  others,  and  all  these  theories  and  ideas  are  only  taking  our 
time  and  minds  from  the  simplicity  of  Jesus  Christ.  His  life  and 
teachings  while  on  earth  were  for  the  purpose  of  leaving  us  an 
example  how  to  live  an  everyday,  honest,  Christian  life,  not  so 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  IQ3 

much  about  hell  or  heaven  or  Moses*  body.  The  great  theme  was 
to  love  one  another.''  "Then  you  refuse  to  talk  on  these  lines?" 
he  queried.  "Yes,"  I  said,  "I  have  learned  not  to  talk  about  anything 
that  is  none  of  my  business.  My  business  is  to  preach  Jesus, 
rebuke  sin,  lift  up  the  fallen  and  encourage  the  weak,  and  I  find 
I  have  all  I  can  do  to  study  and  show  myself  a  workman  that 
needeth  not  to  be  ashamed,  rightly  divining  the  truth,  as  Paul 
told  Timothy  what  to  teach.  I  have  found  it  does  not  do  to  have 
too  many  irons  in  the  fire.  We  have  the  promise  that  the  Holy 
Spirit  will  reveal  those  things  unto  us,  and  what  he  reveals  to  me 
that  will  I  reveal  to  others,  and  no  more.  I  do  not  want  to  be  with 
that  class  of  people  referred  to  in  Col.  2:18,  'intruding  into  those 
things  which  he  hath  not  seen,  vainly  puffed  up  by  his  fleshly  mind.' 
I  am  not  going  to  dictate  to  you  or  anyone.  I  will  only  teach  the 
things  the  Holy  Spirit  reveals  to  me.  Abusing  this  one,  or  that 
doctrine,  is  nonsense,  and  is  not  a  part  of  my  religion." 

CHAPTER  XVI. 

AFTER  I  had  worked  at  the  Haymarket  three  months  the  secretary 
of  the  Tabernacle  sent  Mr.  Peterson's  and  my  church  letters 
to  the  Haymarket  Mission,  and  Brother  P —  told  me  he 
had  them.  I  asked  him  for  them,  and  he  said  that  was  all  right; 
he  would  keep  them.  I  told  Mr.  Peterson,  and  he  was  much  put 
out,  for  he  did  not  want  to  leave  the  Tabernacle.  He  said:  "I 
thought  we  had  to  ask  for  our  letters.  What  have  we  done  that 
they  should  send- them  to  us?"  He  thought  it  was  Brother  Uzzell 
who  sent  the  letters,  and  he  got  real  angry  and  said  he  would 
not  belong  to  another  church.  Though  he  had  taken  up  his  cross 
as  a  Christian,  I  do  not  believe  I  can  ever  get  him  to  unite  with 
another  one.  I  could  not  get  him  to  consent  to  unite  with  the 
Haymarket.  He  said  he  did  not  like  the  Haymarket,  and  if  they 
did  not  want  him  at  the  Tabernacle,  he  would  stay  at  home.  He 
felt  hard  toward  Brother  Uzzell,  but  we  learned  afterward  that 
Brother  Uzzell  had  nothing  to  do  with  sending  the  letters.  What 
I  hated  about  it  was  that  they  did  not  send  them  to  me,  instead 
of  Brother  P — .  I  had  asked  him  for  them,  but  he  would  not 
give  them  to  me.  I  do  not  know  why,  but  I  never  felt  led 
to  unite  there.  We  were  never  taken  in  by  letter,  but  the  letters 
were  sent  there,  and  I  do  not  know  where  they  are  to-day.  I  am 
so  glad  my  salvation  did  not  depend  upon  those  letters.  Mr. 
Peterson  would  not  unite  again  with  the  Tabernacle.  Through 
these  letters  he  lost  interest  in  the  church.  He  said:  "Think  of 
it !  We  were  put  out  of  the  Tabernacle,  and  our  letters  kept  against 


194  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

our  will.  But,  Rachel,  I  pray,  when  you  nor  no  one  else  knows 
about  it."  I  was  never  taken  into  the  Haymarket  Mission,  though 
I  was  recognized  as  a  member.  They  got  up  a  pledge,  asking  every 
true-hearted  Christian  to  sign  it.  That  was  the  nearest  I  came 
to  being  a  member  there.  When  I  went  back  to  the  Tabernacle 
my  niece  and  little  girl  and  myself  went  in  on  profession  of  faith, 
though  my  niece  was  a  member  of  the  Haymarket  Mission.  She 
went  in  by  letter.  I  kept  one  of  the  Haymarket  bulletins,  which 
will  give  you  an  idea  of  the  Haymarket  work: 

HAYMARKET    BULLETIN. 

Sunday,  April   16,   1903. 
Services  for  the  coming  week  will  be  as  follows : 

Monday,  8  p.  m. — —Six  five-minute  speeches  by  converts. 

Tuesday,  3  p.  m. — Holiness  meeting Mrs.  Bawe,  Leader 

7  p.  m. — Converts'  meeting Mrs.  Peterson,  Leader 

8  p.  m. — Sermon A.  C.  Peck 

Wednesday,  8  p.  m — Prayer  meeting Mrs.  Peterson,  Leader 

Thursday,  7.  p.  m. — Converts*  meeting Mrs.  Smith,  Leader 

8  p.  m. — Sermon H.  B.  Calkins 

Friday,  7  p.  m — Visitors'  meeting Mrs.  Peck,  Leader 

8  p.  m. — Promise  meeting. 
Saturday,  8  p.  m. — Temperance  meeting Mrs.  Leonard,  Leader 

April  23. 

Sunday,  9  a.  m. — Class  meeting Frank  Sawde,  Leader 

1 1  a.  m. — Sermon H.  B.  Calkins 

12  m.— Sunday  school. 

7  p.   m. — Young  People's  meeting. ..  .Mrs.    Peterson,  Leader 

8  p.  m. — Sermon,  "God's  Prisoners" A.  C.  Peck 

The  Gospel  Wagon  is  promised  by  next  week. 

Good  singing  at  all  services. 

The  following  year  we  sent  out  tracts  as  follows : 

Class  meeting Brother  Warren 

Sermon  George  Ray 

Wednesday Prayer  Meeting 

Thursday,  Sermon A.  C.  Peck 

Street   meetings   every   night    from   the   gospel    wagon   at   7, 

in  charge  of Mrs.  Peterson 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  IQ5 

REPQRT  OF   MY  WORK  FOR  THE  YEARS   1893-4-5. 

The  following  report  will  give  an  idea  of  my  work  for  three 
years : 

Cash  given  to  charity $  73.55 

Cash  paid  for  car  fare 68.15 

Cash  value  of  clothing  given 1 10.25 


Total   $251.95 

MISCELLANEOUS. 

Calls  at  home  346 

Visits  made  to  sick in 

Visits   made   to   jail 10 

Visits  made  to  hospital 13 

Friendly  calls    360 

Letters  written 56 

Meetings  led   149 

Revival  services  held 21 

Conversions    49 

Funerals  conducted  1 1 

I  received,  during  this  year,  the  following  sums  of  money: 

From   Rev.    A.   C.    Peck $110.00 

From  various  parties 17.00 


Total   $127.00 

REPORT    FOR    1894. 

Cash  paid  for  charity $  95.20 

Cash  paid  for  car  fare 35.10 

Cash  paid  for  food  and  groceries 5.45 

Cash  value  of  clothing 25.50 

Total    $161.25 

MISCELLANEOUS. 

Cash  received   $  80.00 

Balance    $  81.25 

Calls  at  my  home 386 

Calls  on  the  sick 115 

Calls,  friendly 260 

Calls  at  hospital '. 3 

Calls   at  jail 4 


IQ6  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

Prayer  meetings  led 75 

Street  meetings  led.. 152 

Converts'  meetings  led 17 

Revival  meetings  conducted 34 

Funerals  conducted    7 

Sermons   preached 8 

Conversions  at  services 60 

Conversions   at  home 12 

Letters   written \ . .  - 63 

REPORT  FOR  1895. 

Cash   paid  out $  86.60 

Cash  paid  for  car  fare 34-30 

Cash  value  of  clothing  given 20.25 

Cash    for    charity 1.75 


Total    $142.90 

Cash  received $176.49 

MISCELLANEOUS. 

Meals    given 51 

Prayer  meetings  led 102 

Street  meetings  led 150 

Letters   written 63 

Home    calls 411 

Sick   calls 62 

Friendly    calls 521 

Jail  meetings 5 

Hospital    meetings 5 

Sermons  preached 40 

Conversions 68 

Bible    readings 31 

Reports   of   the   last  five  years   of  the  Tabernacle   work   were 
similar  to  the  following: 

REPORT   FOR   1896. 

Calls  at  home .' 480 

Friendly    calls 200 

Meetings    led 235 

Street  meetings  led 81 

Sick   calls 1 1 1 

Letters   written ! 45 

Funeral   services   conducted..  7 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  IQ7 

Cash  given $  80.00 

Cash  value  of  clothing  given .$  23.00 

Visits  to  hospital 16 

Conversions    50 

Christian  literature  distributed — 

Papers 250 

Tracts 100 

CHAPTER  XVII. 

THE  first  time  we  went  out  on  the  wagon  it  was  a  great  curi- 
osity to  the  public.  We  had  an  organ  built  in  the  wagon. 
Sister  P —  played  it.  I  had  talked  in  "frie'ndly  shelters,"  and 
prisons  and  jails,  and  hospitals,  and  tents,  and  out  in  the  groves 
in  camp  meetings ;  but  never  before  on  the  street.  I  had  listened 
to  the  Salvation  Army  and  wondered  how  I  would  feel  out  on  the 
street  as  they  were.  The  afternoon  Brother  P —  was  to  take  the 
wagon  out  he  told  us  to  meet  him  at  3  o'clock.  The  wagon  would 
hold  fourteen.  Then  I  began  to  feel  my  position.  I  told  Brother 
P —  I  would  not  take  part  in  the  meeting,  but  would  go  to  help 
fill  up  the  wagon  if  he  would  not  call  on  me  to  say  anything.  He 
said  there  would  be  several  ministers,  and  that  part  of  the  services 
would  be  all  right ;  then  I  was  satisfied  to  go.  There  was  a  great 
congregation  on  the  street.  You  would  think  there  was  a  show  in 
town.  I  was  enjoying  myself,  listening  to  the  speaking  and  sing- 
ing. After  the  last  minister  had  talked  and  they  had  sung  a 
song,  Brother  P —  said  to  the  great  mass  of  people  standing  on  the 
four  corners  of  the  street :  "We  will  now  listen  to  one  of  the  best 
speakers  in  our  city.  Let  me  introduce  to  you  Mrs.  Peterson." 
Before  he  called  my  name  I  was  looking  all  around  to  see  who 
the  speaker  was,  and  to  my  great  amazement  he  was  beckoning  me 
to  come  out  upon  the  platform  on  the  back  end  of  the  wagon. 
When  I  knew  he  meant  me  it  seemed  my  heart  gave  one  bound  and 
landed  in  my  mouth.  I  could  hardly  speak.  All  I  said  was  "Brother 
P — ."  As  he  came  toward  me  I  could  not  move.  He  kept  saying 
"Come  on,"  and  I  said:  "Brother  P — ,  you  must  sing  something 
first."  They  started  a  song,  I  do  not  remember  what  one.  While 
they  were  singing  I  was  praying  to  get  my  thoughts  together,  for 
if  anyone  had  thrown  a  bombshell  into  our  midst  it  could  not 
have  scattered  my  thoughts  more  than  when  he  called  on  me  to 
speak.  What  I  would  say  was  more  than  I  could  tell,  for  I  had 
forgotten,  for  a  moment,  that  I  was  even  saved.  I  began  to  won- 
der how  to  get  out  of  talking.  One  would  hardly  expect  me  to 


Ip8  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

feel  as  I  did,  after  being  in  public  work  as  long  as  I  had.  If  there 
had  been  any  way  out,  beside  coming  out  and  saying  no,  I  never 
would  have  talked  on  the  street-corners  of  Denver.  But  there  was 
nothing  left  for  me  to  do  but  to  face  the  music,  for  I  could  not 
refuse  before  that  great  audience.  I  was  praying:  "Oh,  God, 
help  me.  Lord,  what  will  I  say?"  I  had  been  in  close  quarters 
before,  but  never  where  I  could  not  get  my  breath,  and  where 
my  heart  was  so  hard  to  swallow.  When  they  were  singing  the 
last  verse  my  heart  was  like  lead.  While  my  mind  was  struggling, 
one  thought  came  to  me  like  a  flash  of  lightning.  I  had  thought 
of  every  other  way  of  starting,  but  this  way,  and  I  said :  "Lord, 
none  of  the  ministers  talked  in  that  way,  they  talked  on  the  bible." 
But  I  had  been  praying  the  Lord  to  send  me  thoughts,  and  when 
they  came'  I  held  to  them  like  a  drowning  man  to  something  to 
save  him.  No  one  can  tell  the  feeling  of  one  who  follows  up  three 
or  four  ministers  in  a  short  talk,  with  no  education,  before  as 
great  an  audience  as  there  was  that  afternoon.  There  was  nothing 
left  for  me  to  do  but  to  rely  entirely  upon  the  Holy  Spirit.  As 
they  sang  the  chorus  I  was  holding  to  those  thoughts,  and  when 
I  stepped  out  upon  the  platform  of  the  wagon  it  seemed  I  was 
wrapped  in  thought;  the  power  of  God  fell  upon  me  like  a  mantle, 
and  fear  took  wings  and  flew  away.  The  first  thought  that  came 
to  me  was  Saint  Jacob's  Oil.  I  fairly  held  my  breath  and  repeated 
these  words,  wondering  what  I  would  do  with  Saint  Jacob's  Oil. 
And  when  I  asked  the  question,  it  was  answered  like  this:  "Did 
not  women  help  sell  the  oil?  And  why  cannot  you  help  in  a  cause 
like  this,  so  grand  and  glorious?"  Then  I  told  them  how  woman 
was  in  everything,  even  in  selling  this  oil ;  how  they  built  a  large 
platform,  and  several  women,  beautifully  dressed,  stood  on  the 
street-corners,  introducing  that  which  would  help  the  body.  If 
a  woman  was  respected  in  that  work,  why  should  I  not  demand  the 
respect  of  the  citizens  of  Denver  in  introducing  something  that 
would  not  only  help  the  body,  but  would  help  the  mind,  spirit  and 
heart  of  mankind?  The  Lord  had  promised  to  fill  our  hearts 
with  the  oil  of  gladness.  There  was  a  fountain  opened  in  the  house 
of  David  for  all  sin  and  uncleanliness.  These  were  the  outlines 
of  my  first  sermon  on  the  street,  but,  thank  God,  not  the  last.  I 
never  can  thank  the  Lord  enough  for  the  way  he  led  Brother  P — 
in  getting  me  started  on  the  street,  for  I  had  said  to  so  many: 
"I  will  never  talk  on  the  street.  God  does  not  lead  me  to  do 
anything  like  that.  I  can  do  good  enough  without  going  on  the 
street  corner."  Oh,  how  wonderfully  the  Lord  does  lead !  even 
sometimes  when  we  are  not  willing  to  be  led.  Two  or  three 
times  this  same  fear  came  over  me.  I  would  go  and  tell  Brother 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  IpQ 

Calkins  I  could  not  lead  the  wagon,  that  if  I  did  I  would  fail 
sure;  and  then  he  would  go  with  me.  Several  times  I  'did  not 
let  him  say  a  word.  After  I  got  started,  I  could  not  stop  talking, 
and  I  got  ashamed  to  ask  him  when  fears  came  over  me.  I  knew 
the  fear  was  from  the  devil,  and  I  got  so  I  coul-d  resist  it,  and 
pay  no  attention  to  it,  and  at  last  it  left  me  entirely.  We  would 
have  street  meetings  from  early  in  April  till  the  weather  was 
too  cold  to  go  out  on  the  wagon.  After  the  third  summer's  work, 
the  i8th  of  September  I  got  a  letter  to  stop.  The  hundreds  of 
souls  that  were  saved  through  the  street  meetings  will  never  be 
known  till  the  day  of  judgment.  Perhaps  a  word  in  regard  to 
the  work  done  might  be  of  interest. 

One  afternoon  I  was  waiting  for  a  car  to  go  to  the  depot  to 
fill  one  of  my  appointments  in  the  mountains,  when  a  lady  in  black 
stepped  up  to  me,  shook  my  hand,  and  said :  "Isn't  this  Mrs. 
Peterson?  You  are  the  lady  who  led  the  Gospel  Wagon,  are  you 
not?"  As  I  said  "Yes,"  the  tears  were  running  down  her  cheek. 
While  holding  my  hand  she  told  me  how  her  husband  was  saved 
before  he  died,  through  the  Gospel  Wagon,  how  he  would  stop,  on 
his  way  from  his  work  with  his  lunch  bucket  and  listen.  This 
was  late  in  the  fall,  before  I  stopped  working  on  the  street.  She 
said  for  a  week  every  evening  he  would  be  late  coming  home,  so 
one  evening  he  told  her  of  the  wagon.  It  was  all  he  talked  about. 
It  was  the  last  of  November  he  died.  He  took  a  severe  cold,  which 
developed  into  pneumonia.  "It  was  the  words  God  gave  you  to 
say  that  converted  his  soul."  He  had  been  dead  five  months  then. 
I  bade  her  good-bye  and  took  the  car,  and  have  never  seen  her 
since.  Another  time  I  was  coming  down  the  steps  of  the  wagon 
(there  were  three  steps  on  the  back  end).  A  well-dressed  gentle- 
man stepped  up  to  me  as  I  stepped  onto  the  sidewalk  and  said : 
"Pardon  me,  madam,  I  must  tell  you,"  putting  out  his  hand,  "those 
words  of  yours  this  evening  have  gone  there,"  pointing  to  his  heart, 
"as  none  ever  went  before."  I  knew  the  Holy  Spirit  had  done 
the  work.  I  asked  him  into  the  mission,  but  he  was  to  take  the 
train  in  half  an  hour.  "I  will  never  forget  those  words,"  he  re- 
marked, in  leaving.  I  did  not  know  what  they  were,  but  God  knew. 
At  another  time  a  gentleman  followed  us  into  the  mission,  and 
just  inside  the  door  he  stepped  up  to  me  and  said:  "Do  you 
think  the  Lord  could  save  a  wicked  showman?  My  train  is  ready 
to  leave  the  city  now,  but  I'll  not  forget  what  was  said  on  the 
street  corner  this  evening."  It  is  wonderful  how  the  Holy  Spirit 
burned  the  everlasting  truth  into  the  hearts  and  souls  of  men  and 
women  who  were  walking  by  the  wagon  at  the  time  of  the  meeting. 
One  Saturday  evening  a  gentleman  was  walking  with  his  wife, 


200  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

carrying  a  two-year-old  child,  making  his  way  through  the  vast  crowd 
that  had  gathered  on  the  street.  The  next  evening  he  came  into  the 
meeting,  but  said  nothing.  Monday  evening  he  went  forward  to 
the  altar  and  was  converted,  and  then  told  how  he  came  to  go. 
"Saturday  evening  I  was  passing  the  wagon  and"  (pointing  to  me) 
"that  lady  over  there  said, — "  repeating  the  words  of  mine  that 
had  touched  him  like  an  arrow  of  conviction.  Bless  his  holy  name, 
his  word  is  quick  and  powerful !  He  said  he  came  up  Sunday 
evening  to  the  meeting  to  see  if  he  could  not  get  rid  of  the  words 
he  had  heard  the  evening  before.  He  said  he  got  no  "relief,"  and 
that  was  why  he  was  there  that  night.  The  "relief"  came  and  the 
burden  of  sin  was  rolled  away.  I  could  not  tell  you  the  number  that 
came  to  the  Lord  from  hearing  the  word  of  God  from  the  street 
corner.  In  the  first  year's  work  there  were  several  fallen  women 
converted.  I  took  one  to  my  home.  She  stayed  with  me  several 
months,  and  was  converted,  being  one  of  the  best  workers  on 
the  wagon.  She  did  her  part  in  the  Haymarket  Haven  work,  and 
was  working  there  at  the  time  of  her  death,  dying  happy  in  the 
Lord  over  two  years  after  her  conversion.  What  those  dear  women 
want  is  the  influence  of  a  home  to  bring  them  out  for  God.  It  is 
a  struggle  for  them  to  get  away  from  their  old  ways  after  they  are 
converted.  They  get  so  deep  into  sin  that  the  very  flesh  is  steeped 
in  the  habits  that  fasten  upon  them.  When  I  took  her  to  my  home 
the  man  they  call  their  "solid  fellow"  was  enraged  because  I  took 
her  from  him,  and  was  going  to  kill  us  both.  To  think  men  can 
live  like  that !  If  the  women  who  read  this  book  could  see  half 
what  I  have  seen,  I  know  they  would  say  with  me:  "There  are 
more  fallen  men  than  women."  This  man  was  determined  to  see 
her.  She  was  afraid  to  see  him.  I  told  her  she  might  as  well 
see  him  and  be  done  with  it ;  that  he  might  meet  us  on  the  street 
some  time  and  give  us  more  trouble  than  it  would  be  to  see  him 
here  at  home,  and  let  him  know  what  was  what.  She  wanted  to 
leave  the  door  open  between  her  and  I  for  fear  he  might  kill  her. 
I  told  her  to  shut  the  door,  and  I  would  keep  my  ears  open,  and  if 
he  got  to  talking  very  loud  I  would  come  in.  It  was  not  long 
before  his  voice  began  to  raise  above  the  ordinary  voice.  I  opened 
the  door  and  stepped  in.  He  was  pale  with  anger.  With  a  revolver 
in  his  hand  he  was  making  threats.  I  stepped  in~  front  of  him, 
saying:  "Mister,  do  you  know  where  you  are?  Do  you  know 
you  are  in  a  home  such  as  your  mother  raised  you  in — not  in  a 
sporting  house?  Do  you  know  you  are  talking  to  a  woman  as 
good  as  your  mother?  This  woman  you  are  calling  names  is  as 
pure  as  your  own  mother,  for  she  has  left  the  old  life  and  has 
plunged  into  the  fountain  and  been  made  clean,  and  now  I  will 


"STOP.   SIR'     THIS    \VILL    \EVER   DO" 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  201 

hear  no  more  such  language  from  you.  Call  forth  all  the  man- 
hood you  have  and  imagine  yourself  in  your  mother's  home,  put 
that  revolver  in  your  pocket  and  sit  down  there  and  talk  to  her 
as  a  gentleman  should,  or  else  leave  the  house  this  moment."  He 
promised  he  would  do  nothing  rash.  He  had  been  drinking,  and 
didn't  think  where  he  was.  I  went  into  the  adjoining  room  and 
left  the  door  a  little  ajar.  She  gave  him  to  understand  that  she 
had  left  the  old  life  forever.  The  devil  would  tempt  her  at  times, 
till  she  seemed  to  be  almost  beside  herself.  I  had  noticed  every 
morning  for  a  week  when  she  came  down  stairs  she  had  that  restless, 
uneasy  spirit,  so  one  morning  I  said :  "Sister  W — ,  do  you  want 
me  to  tell  you  something?  And  if  I  do,  promise  me  you  will  not 
be  angry."  She  said  "yes,"  and  promised  not  to  get  angry  at 
anything  I  said.  "And  you  won't  feel  hurt?"  "No  matter,"  she 
said,  "Go  ahead  and  tell  me."  I  replied:  "Sister  W— ,  do  you 
know  the  devil  has  been  coming  down  stairs  with  you  every  morn- 
ing for  a  week?  I  know  he  wants  you  to  do  something  for  him.  I 
do-  not  know  what  it  is,  but  he  is  after  you."  She  opened  her 
eyes  in  surprise  and  said:  "How  do  you  know  it  is  the  devil?" 
I  told  her  I  could  feel  his  presence.  "I  tell  you,  Sister  Peterson," 
she  answered,  "it  is  all  I  can  do  to  keep  from  going  down  town 
and  never  coming  back.  God  knows  I  do  not  want  to.  I  want  to 
do  right,  and  I  did  not  know  whether  to  tell  you  or  not,  for  I 
did  not  know  what  you  would  think  of  me,  but  I  just  can't  help 
these  feelings."  "Let  us  pray  every  morning  when  you  come  down 
>tairs,"  I  said  to  her,  "and  through  the  day,  if  he  comes  to  you 
with  those  feelings,  for  he  will  not  stay  long  if  we  get  on  our 
knees  over  it."  It  was  not  long  till  she  got  the  victory.  Every- 
where I  went  I  took  her  with  me.  If  I  went  to  see  the  sick  I 
had  her  pray.  I  looked  after  her  as  a  doctor  would  his  patient,  till 
the  old  devil  found  two  were  too  much  for  him,  and  gave  her  up. 
It  did  me  so  much  good,  while  she  was  helping  me  about  the 
work,  to  hear  her  sing  this  song,  after  this  experience: 

"There  is  a  spot  to  me  more  dear 

Than  native  vale  or  mountain, 
A  spot  for  which  affection's  tear 

Springs  grateful  from  its  fountain. 

"  'Tis  n<ot  where  kindred  souls  abound, 

Though  that  is  almost  heaven, 
But  ivherc  I  first  my  Savior  found, 

And  felt  my  sins  forgiven. 


2O2  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

"Then  quick  as  thought  I  felt  him  mine — 

My  Savior  stood  before  me, 
I  saw  his  brightness  round  me  shine 

And  shouted  'Glory,  glory!' 

"And  when  from  earth  I  rise  to  soar 

Up  to  my  home  in  heaven, 
Down  will  I  cast  my  eyes  once  more 
Where  I  was  first  forgiven." 

This  same  summer  I  had.  another  wonderful  experience.  I  went 
to  see  Sister  Swan,  and  she  told  me  a  lady  lived  next  door  who 
had  been  down  all  winter  with  rheumatism.  She  had  two  children, 
with  no  one  to  support  them  but  herself.  A  week  after  I  had  been 
there  the  thought  came  to  me  to  go  and  see  the  lady  who  lived 
next  door  to  Sister  Swan.  I  said:  "Lord,  what  do  you  want 
me  to  go  to  see  her  for?  I  do  not  know  .her."  But  I  could  not 
get  rid  of  the  feeling.  I  rapped  at  the  door  and  a  voice  said :  "Come 
in."  She  was  helpless.  The  first  thing  she  told  me  was  that  the 
landlord  wanted  the  room,  and  said  if  she  did  not  get,  he 
would  put  her  out  onto  the  street.  I  asked  her  if  she  were  a 
Christian.  "I  was  once,  but  not  now."  "Let  us  pray,"  I  said,  and 
knelt  down  by  her  side.  The  Lord  forgave  her  sins,  and  she  said : 
"Oh,  I  see  such  a  bright  light!"  and  we  felt  the  power  all  over 
us.  Her  body  was  healed.  She  got  upon  her  feet  and  went  into 
Sister  Swan's  next  door,  and  she  has  been  able  to  walk  ever  since, 
supporting  herself  and  her  two  children. 

One  Sunday  afternoon,  after  the  healing  of  Sister  Treadwell, 
I  stopped  to  see  a  lady  who  had  inflammatory  rheumatism.  She 
could  not  move  any  part  of  her  body  but  her  head.  She  could 
not  .sit  up.  I  had  been  sent  for  to  see  if  the  Lord  would  heal 
her.  I  had  hardly  reached  her  bedside  when  the  Spirit  told  me  to 
get  a  high  chair.  I  looked  around  the  room,  and  saw  nothing 
but  rocking  chairs,  and  I  asked  Sister  S —  if  I  might  have  a  high 
chair.  She  answered:  "Here  is  a  chair."  I  told  her  I  wanted  a 
high  chair.  There  may  have  been  nothing  significant  Jn  the  chair, 
but  I  always  obey  the  leading  of  the  Spirit.  She  went  into  the 
kitchen  and  got  a  high  chair.  The  Spirit  said  to  me :  "Set  the  chair 
close  to  the  head  of  the  bed."  I  obeyed,  and  then  the  Spirit  said  to 
me:  "Tell  her  to  do  whatever  comes  to  her  to  do."  So  I  said: 
"Sister,  whatever  comes — in  thought  or  word  or  feeling — act  upon 
it."  The  power  of  the  Spirit  came,  as  did  the  feeling  to  throw 
the  covers  back  and  spring  over  the  foot  of  the  bed.  The  first 
thing  I  knew  she  had  thrown  the  covers  back  and  was  sitting  up 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  2O3 

in  the  bed.  She  said  the  power  came  all  over  her,  and  as  she  was 
going  to  go  over  the  foot  of  the  bed  Sister  S —  said  to  her:  "O, 
sister,  your  knee!"  At  this  she  stopped.  In  a  second,  yes,  in  a 
twinkle,  the  power  of  God  was  gone  from  her  and  she  was  left 
helpless,  and  for  several  weeks  lay  suffering  with  that  knee,  while 
the  rest  of  her  body  was  well.  Two  other  sisters  came  into 
the  room,  and  before  the  door  was  shut  they  could  feel  the  power. 
Those  three  sisters  were  witnesses  to  this  power  of  God  that  filled 
the  room.  The  Lord  would  do  nothing  more  for  her  because  of 
her  disobedience.  I  went  back  the  next  evening,  thinking  perhaps 
the  Lord  would  do  something  for  her,  but  the  feeling  of  fear 
that  came  over  me  as  I  went  into  the  house,  made  me  realize  the 
power  of  darkness. 

I  'only  stayed  a  few  moments,  going  back  the  next  afternoon. 
I  could  feel  no  change  in  the  spirit.  As  I  sat  by  her  bed  the  kitchen 
door  stopd  partly  open,  and  some  dreadful  influence  seemed  to  come 
from  the  kitchen.  I  thought  of  evil  spirits.  I  asked  her  who  was 
in  the  kitchen.  She  said  her  brother-in-law.  "He  is  not  a  believer," 
I  said  to  her.  "No,  he  does  not  believe  in  anything."  He  told 
her  she  was  excited,  and  that  was  the  reason  she  came  so  near 
getting  up.  But  excitement  doesn't  usually  cure  people.  What 
an  awful  thing  to  be  in  a  house  filled  with  spirits  of  unbelief!  I 
have  seen  the  results  of  disobedience  so  much  in  my  experience 
that  I  fear  God  more  from  disobedience  than  from  all  else.  So 
many  disobey  him  and  do  not  seem  to  know  the  serious  results. 
Eph.  4 130 :  "And  grieve  not  the  holy  Spirit  of  God,  whereby  ye  are 
sealed  unto  the  day  of  redemption."  It  took  me  a  long  time  to 
learn  what  an  easy  thing  it  was  to  grieve  the  Spirit  away  from  us. 
It  is  as  easy  to  grieve  the  Spirit  as  to  frighten  a  little  bird  away. 
Sometimes  when  I  pray  the  Spirit  returns,  and  other  times  it  does 
not.  It  was  this  way  with  this  dear  sister.  When  she  hearkened 
to  the  words  of  Sister  S —  and  did  not  follow  where  the  Spirit  led, 
the  Spirit  left  her.  I  Thess.  5:19:  "Quench  not  the  Spirit."  Do 
we  know  what  a  serious  thing  it  is  to  quench  the  Spirit?  The 
Lord  tells  us  in  Rev.  3:22,  three  times  he  tells  us  to  hear  in  this 
chapter:  "He  that  hath  an  ear,  let  him  hear  what  the  Spirit 
saith  unto  the  churches."  You  see  the  Spirit  speaks  or  we  could 
not  hear.  The  voice  of  the  Spirit  has  no  sound  but  impression, 
and  yet  we  are  to  hear  it,  else  we  could  not  be  led.  The  Lord 
tells  us  to  be  led  by  the  Spirit.  Rom.  8:14:  "For  as  many  as  are 
led  by  the  Spirit  of  God,  they  are  the  sons  of  God."  If  we  permit 
anyone  or  any  earthly  thing  to  hinder  that  leading,  or  resist  it,  we 
grieve  the  Spirit.  You  will  see  in  the  5th  verse  of  the  same  chapter 
that  "they  that  are  after  the  flesh  do  mind  the  things  of  the  flesh; 


2O4  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

but  they  that  are  after  the  Spirit,  the  things  of  the  Spirit."  That 
is  why  the  carnal  mind  cannot  please  God.  It  itself  is  enmity 
against  God.  It  is  necessary  that  we  have  our  minds  upon  spir- 
itual things  and  not -upon  what  we  see  and  hear.  We  must  hearken 
to  the  word  of  God,  for  it  is  the  Spirit  that  uses  the  word,  and 
not  us.  The  Spirit  comes  into  us  and  uses  us  as  instruments,  but 
it  is  the  Spirit  of  the  word  that  does  the  work.  If  we  could 
only  learn  that  we  are  merely  instruments ! 

It  was  not  long  before  I  was  asked  to  call  on  Sister  B — . 
She  was  a  strong  believer  in  healing,  was  very  sick,  and  wanted  to 
see  me.  Her  home  was  on  Sherman  avenue,  on  Capitol  Hill,  in 
the  aristrocratic  part  of  the  'city.  Nevertheless  she  was  a  beautiful 
Christian.  You  see  God  works  among  the  wealthy  as  well  as  the 
poorer  class.  It  was  like  a  benediction  to  be  in  this  sister's  pres- 
ence. She  told  me  of  the  sweet  peace  she  had  in  her  heart.  As 
I  listened  to  her  my  ear  was  also  listening  to  what  the  Holy  Spirit 
would  tell  me  to  do.  As  you  know,  there  are  different  kinds  of 
gifts  of  healing.  In  this  kind  of  application  there  has  to  be  more 
than  the  gift  or  power  of  healing.  Matt.  17:21 :  "Howbeit  this  kind 
goeth  not  out,  but  by  prayer  and  fasting."  The  Holy  Spirit  told 
me  to  tell  Sister  B —  to  kneel  down  by  the  chair,  even  showing  me 
the  chair  to  kneel  down  by,  and  for  Sister  P —  to  kneel  by  the 
side  of  Sister  B — ,  with  the  writer  upon  the  other  side.  Then  the 
power  of  God  came  down.  The  power  was  so  great  when  it 
descended  upon  us  that  Sister  P —  exclaimed:  "Oh,  my!"  I  did 
not  pray;  I  just  obeyed,  the  power  came  so  clear  and  the  leading 
of  the  Spirit  so  plain.  Did  you  ever  read  in  the  bible  of  tjwo 
being  healed  just  alike?  The  words  were  a  little  different,  or  what 
was  told  them  to  do  was  different.  At  other  times  they  were  told 
to  do  something,  and  when  they  obeyed  they  were  healed.  They 
had  faith.  If  they  had  not  faith  they  would  not  have  been  healed. 
Whenever  the  Holy  Ghost  tells  me  to  do  anything,  or  instructs  me 
to  tell  others,  and  they  obey,  the  work  has  been  done  without  fail. 
As  the  power  came  the  Spirit  said  to  me:  "Tell  her  the  healing 
is  for  her."  I  told  her,  but  some  way  she  could  not  receive  it  to 
herself.  She  would  have  it  that  the  power  was  for  Sister  P — , 
and  again  I  told  her  it  came  for  her.  I  tell  you,  my  dear  reader, 
you  must  always  be  on  the  lookout.  The  devil  is  ever  near  to  tempt 
us.  He  came  and  made  this  woman  believe  the  power  was  not  for 
her.  If  she  had  been  depending  upon  the  Holy  Spirit  to  lead  her 
she  would  have  been  given  strength  to  have  resisted.  The  Spirit 
can  do  many  wonderful  things,  and  if  you  are  not  wise  unto  this 
truth  you,  surely  will  be  deceived.  In  Matt.  24 :24 :  "For  there  shall 
arise  false  Christs,  and  false  prophets,  and  shew  great  signs  and 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  20$ 

wonders;  insomuch  that,  if  it  were  possible,  they  shall  deceive  the 
very  elect."  This  is  where  Spiritualists  who  do  not  believe  in 
Christ  get  their  hold  upon  people.  We  cannot  depend  upon  won- 
derful works.  This  is  not  the  fruit  that  we  are  to  know  God's 
children  by.  It  is  the  fruits  of  the  Spirit,  the  nine  fruits,  faith, 
joy,  etc. 

It  was  3 130  p.m.,  and  the  power  lingered  for  more  than  an 
hour.  We  could  plainly  feel  it  leave  the  room.  Sister  B —  could 
not  believe  she  was  not  healed.  Not  long  afterwards  she  went 
home  to  meet  her  God.  This  was  the  first  time  the  Lord  led  me 
just  this  way.  It  was  somewhat  similar  the  time  Sister  V — 's 
little  boy  was  healed,  when  her  mother  called  it  magnetism.  Did 
you-  ever  take  hold  of  anyone's  hand  who  had  hold  of  an  electric 
battery?  You  know  what  a  sensation  goes  through  you.  One  dif- 
ference between  the  power  of  God  and  electric  power  is  the  former 
has  such  a  heavenly  influence  with  it.  The  magnetic  healer  or 
the  electric  battery  may  bring  relief,  but  not  that  sweet  heavenly 
influence  that  comes  with  the  power  of  God,  though  the  sensation 
may  be  the  same.  This  is  why  I  am  such  a  strong  believer  in 
the  gift  of  healing.  They  have  given  this  gift  from  God  a  new 
name,  not  a  bible  name.  They  call  it  magnetism  when  God  says  in 
I  Cor.  12  :p,  in  speaking  of  spiritual  and  other  gifts,  to  one  is  given 
"the  gifts  of  healing  by  the  same  Spirit;  to  another  faith  by  the 
same  Spirit."  Why  do  we  not  call  the  power  of  magnetism  the 
gift  of  healing?  God  says  we  must  not  add  to  or  take  from  his 
word.  Rev.  22:18:  "If  any  man  shall  add  unto  these  things,  God 
shall  add  unto  him  the  plagues  that  are  written  in  this  book."  We 
may  get  enough  from  God's  word,  but  fail  to  recognize  him  in  every- 
thing. God  has  already  given  us  a  name  for  everything.  When 
God  called  a  man  a  man,  it  suits  me,  and  I  do  not  believe  in  chang- 
ing it  to  an  "ox,"  or  something  else.  We  have  no  bible  right  or 
reason  to  change  the  words  "gifts"  or  "healing,"  no  more  than  we 
have  to  change  a  man's  name.  I  would  no  more  think  of  changing 
these  words  than  I  would  think  of  changing  the  words  "gift  of 
faith,"  or  call  "faith"  "healing,"  or  "healing"  "faith,"  or  the  "gift 
of  wisdom  and  knowledge,"  spoken  of  in  I  Cor.  12:8,  or  the  word 
"knowledge"  to  "wisdom."  We  have  just  as  much  right  to  change 
these  as  to  find  a  new  term  for  "healing,"  or  the  "gift  of  healing/' 
and  calling  it  "magnetism,"  or  "christian  science."  In  all  the  gifts  of 
God  to  man,  where  is  there  a  gift  called  "science?"  There  are  so 
many  different  names  for  things  that  God  has  given  names.  They 
call  "healing"  "magnetism,"  when  healing  is  a  gift.  Many  condemn 
this  gift,  when  they  have  as  much  right  to  condemn  faith. 
Many  churches  are  barren  of  these  gifts.  Why?  Because 


206  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

they  have  no  faith  in  them.  If  we  have  no  faith  in  these 
gifts  we  have  no  faith  in  God,  for  he  said  they  were  gifts.  Now 
let  us  call  magnetism  the  gift  of  healing.  There  is  no  more  science 
about  it  than  about  faith,  because  all  these  gifts  are  by  the  same 
Spirit,  and  are  gifts  given  to  man.  They  are  of  God.  So  many  say 
they  are  of  the  devil.  Of  course  this  is  not  true,  for  nowhere  in 
the  word  of  God  do  we  find  where  the  devil  ever  gave  a  gift  to  man. 
You  can  find  where  these  gifts  are  used  by  the  devil  for  wicked  pur- 
poses, and  by  wicked  men.  Above  everything,  let  us  not  attempt  to 
add  to  or  take  from  this  great  book,  for  does  not  Rev.  22:19  say: 
"And  if  any  man  shall  take  away  from  the  words  of  the  book  of  this 
prophecy,  God  shall  take  away  his  part  out  of  the  book  of 
life,  and  out  of  the  holy  city,  and  from  the  things  which  are 
written  in  this  book."  It  will  never  do  for  us  to  trifle  with  the 
word  of  God.  Let  us  learn  to  be  serious  and  prayerful,  and  depend 
on  the  Holy  Spirit  to  teach  us  as  we  study  the  word,  and  not 
give  the  devil  all  these  gifts  that  God  gave  to  man,  nor  permit  the 
church  to  go  on  unfruitful  in  every  gift.  Eph.  4 17 :  "But  unto  every 
one  of  us  is  given  grace  according  to  the  measure  of  the  gift  of 
Christ."  So  whatever  gift  we  have,  God  gives  grace,  which  is* 
strength  to  use  that  gift;  and  howt  can  we  tell  what  gift  we  have 
except  we  let  the  Holy  Spirit  lead  us?  So  many  have  asked 
me  if  men  and  women  who  are  not  Christians  have  those  gifts. 
What  are  these  two  talents  the  Lord  speaks  of  but  gifts?  He  tells 
us  some  have  five,  and  some  ten,  and  some  one.  When  did  he  give 
those  gifts?  Does  he  say  he  gives  them  at  our  conversion?  Not 
if  I  read  the  word  of  God  aright.  In  the  same  chapter  and  8th 
verse:  "Wherefore  he  saith,  when  he  ascended  upon  high,  he  led 
captivity  captive,  and  gave  gifts  unto  men."  That  is  the  time  he 
gave  those  gifts.  For  what?  Twelfth  verse:  "For  the  perfecting 
of  the  saints,  for  the  work  of  the  ministry,  for  the  edifying  of 
the  body  of  Christ."  What  is  more  edifying  and  helpful  to  both 
body  and  spirit  than  to  have  this  gift  of  healing?  Not  to  make 
money  or  a  name  with,  nor  to  lose  sight  of  Christ  and  his  power 
to  forgive  sin,  through  his  precious  blood  and  suffering  on  the 
cross.  So  many  who  have  these  gifts  are  "tossed  to  and  fro,  carried 
about  with  every  wind  of  doctrine  by  the  sleight  of  men,"  which  is 
spoken  of  in  the  same  chapter,  i4th  and  isth  verses. 

I  know  a  good  woman,  who  believes  in  Christ  and  the  for- 
giveness of  sin  through  repentance  and  faith,  but  some  way  she 
got  into  this  cunning  craftiness  spoken  of  in  the  I4th  verse  of 
this  chapter,  and  practices  slate  writings.  I  would  not  mind  the 
slate  writings  so  much  if  she  did  not  fellowship  with  men  and 
women  who  do  not  believe  in  Christ,  and  with  those  who  are  not 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  207 

seen  in  the  class  room  and  prayer  meetings  and  with  those  who 
have  separated  themselves  from  the  world.  She  had  this  gift  to 
see  and  to  discern  spirits,  and  I  would  not  say  anything  against 
these  spiritual  gifts.  She  said  she  could  not  say  anything  about  these 
spiritual  tfrings  in  the  churches,  and  asked  where  she  was  to  go. 
I  knew  she  was  right  in  regard  to  the  church,  but  she  was  wrong 
to  fellowship  with  those  who  do  not  believe  in  Christ  as  the  Son 
of  God.  She  had  the  gift  spoken  of  in  I  Cor.  12:10,  "the  dis- 
cerning of  spirits."  As  God  says  in  I  Cor.  12:4,  "there  are  diver- 
sities of  gifts,"  and  in  the  5th  verse,  "there  are  differences  of  ad- 
ministrations, but  the  same  Lord."  But  we  ought  not  to  be  found 
anywhere  but  where  repentance  is  taught.  I  know  another  servant 
of  God  who  has  the  gift  of  hearing  and  seeing.  Some  say  she 
is  crazy,  and  others  that  she  is  not  just  right.  She  does  not  use 
judgment  in  all  things,  but  this  is  the  principal  thing  I  see  that 
is  wrong,  and  she  is  learning  fast.  I  Cor.  i  :7  cautions  us  to 
"come  behind  in  no  gift."  The  reason  the  church  is  behind  in 
these  gifts  is  they  are  not  living  in  the  5th  verse  of  this  chapter. 
The  children  of  God  are  not  "enriched  by  him  in  all  utterance." 
They  fail  to  teach  those  who  have  these  gifts  how  to  use  them. 
Those  who  should  teach  have  not  the  knowledge  themselves  of  these 
spiritual  things,  and  those  who  are  gifted  on  these  lines  are  sure 
to  be  led  off  into  the  spiritual  meetings,  where  you  will  see  hun- 
dreds of  men  and  women  all  together  with  the  same  gifts,  and 
thousands  of  followers,  and  not  one  in  their  midst  gifted  to 
teach  Christ  as  the  Son  of  God.  There  is  where  the  great  masses 
of  people  are  to-day,  being  led  by  gifts,  and  not  by  the  Holy  Ghost. 
I  do  not  condemn  gifts,  but  I  do  condemn  the  doctrine  of  being  led 
by  gifts  and  wonderful  workings  alone,  leaving  Christ  and  repent- 
ance out,  also  those  who  are  casting  out  devils  and  doing  many 
wonderful  works  in  the  name  of  Christ,  and  yet  do  not  believe 
him  to  be  the  Son  of  God.  There  was  such  a  man  on  earth, 
they  say,  but  not  conceived  by  the  Holy  Ghost.  When  we  may  have 
all  faith  so  we  can  remove  mountains,  and  have  not  the  love 
of  Christ  shed  abroad  in  our  hearts  by  the  Holy  Ghost,  we  are 
nothing.  Some  may  ask  how  we  know  when  we  have  this  love. 
By  the  spirit  in  your  heart.  If  you  love  those  who  love  Christ  as 
the  Son  of  God,  and  love  the  prayer  meeting  and  the  class  room, 
you  will  have  that  love  spoken  of  in  I  Cor.  13.  There  is  truth  in 
the  spiritualists  using  these  gifts,  but  they  do  not  go  far  enough 
to  believe  in  Christ  as  the  Son  of  God.  We  as  a  church  believe 
Christ  is  the  Son  of  God,  but  we  do  not  go  far  enough  to  develop 
the  different  gifts.  I  once  knew  a  woman  who  did  wonderful  work 
on  these  lines,  and  yet  did  not  believe  that  Christ  was  conceived 


208  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

by  the  Holy  Ghost.  She  did  not  even  believe  in  a  Holy  Ghost. 
So  many  have  asked  me:  "How  are  you  going  to  know  who 
is  right  when  people  do  these  wonderful  works?"  It  is  simple 
enough  to  tell  the  difference.  One  believes  Jesus  was  the  Son  of 
God,  and  the  other  simply  that  he  was  a  good  man.  -If  I  never 
see  you  face  to  face,  you  who  are  reading  this  book,  take  the  advice 
of  one  who  has  tried  this  doctrine  of  spiritualism  and  flee  from  it, 
get  converted,  and  know  your  sins  are  forgiven.  The  word  of  God 
warns  us  from  that  kind  of  doctrine.  Rom.  12  :6,  speaks  of  "having 
these  gifts,  differing  according  to  the  grace."  Different  gifts  but 
not  different  doctrines.  There  is  only  one  doctrine,  and  I  will  prove 
it  to  you  before  we  get  through.  Some  think  they  have  gifts  when 
they  have  not.  Prov.  25:14:  "Whoso  boasteth  himself  of  a  false 
gift  is  like  clouds  and  wind  without  rain."  We  have  a  lot  of 
windy  Christians,  and  after  they  are  through  blowing  you  cannot 
see  any  effects  from  it.  There  are  so  few  who  know  just  what 
God  says  about  everything,  and  when  they  teach  or  talk  it  is  what 
they  think  or 'feel,  little  knowing  what  God  really  says  about  the 
matter.  Ecc.  7:29:  "Lo,  this  only  have  I  found,  that  God  hath 
made  man  upright;  but  they  have  sought  out  many  inventions." 
Is  it  not  true?  And  many  ways  to  serve  him.  II  Tim.  4:3,  4: 
"For  the  time  will  come  when  they  will  not  endure  sound  doctrine ; 
but  after  their  own  lusts  shall  they  heap  to  themselves  teachers, 
having  itching  ears;  and  they  shall  turn  away  their  ears  from  the 
truth,  and  shall  be  turned  unto  fables."  II  Pet.  2:1  says:  "But 
there  were  false  prophets  also  among  the  people."  They  are  the 
ones  who  are  using  these  gifts  to  tell  you  of  something  that  has 
happened  in  your  lives,  and  that  leads  people  to  believe  in  them, 
and  that  is  why  they  have  so  many  followers.  The  devil  can  quote 
scripture,  and  tell  the  truth  in  a  good  many  things,  and  those  are 
the  false  prophets  spoken  o£  by  Peter,  "who  privily  shall  bring  in 
damnable  heresies,  even  denying  the  Lord  that  bought  them."  I 
have  talked  with  Christian  Scientists,  and  some  tell  me  Christ  was 
one  of  the  greatest  scientists  the  world  ever  knew;  that  he  had 
more  of  God  than  anyone  in  this  world  ever  had,  but  was  no  more 
a  Son  than  all  of  us.  Paul  warned  Timothy  in  I  Tim.  6 :2O :  "O  Tim- 
othy, keep  that  which  is  committed  to  thy  trust,  avoiding  profane 
and  vain  babblings,  and  oppositions  of  science  falsely  so  called." 
How  does  science  deceive  the  people?  Through  the  gift  of  healing 
I  have  told  you  of.  One  who  is  sick  will  go  to  them  and  be  treated, 
and  perhaps  cured,  and  all  the  time  these  teachers  teach  this  doc- 
trine that  Christ  is  no  more  the  Son  than  we  are,  and  by  the  time 
the  patient  is  well  he  believes  in  the  doctrine  and  joins  their  church. 
In  that  church  they  do  not  teach  that  Christ  forgives  sin  as  the 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  20Q 

Son  of  God  conceived  by  the  Holy  Ghost.  How  one  who  has  ever 
been  converted  can  join  their  church  and  worship  God  with  them, 
and  know  at  the  same  time  that  they  do  net  believe  Christ  was 
conceived  by  the  Holy  Ghost  as  the  Son  of  God,  is  a  mystery  to 
me.  How  true  God's  word  is  in  I  Tim.  4:1:  "In  the  latter  times 
some  shall  depart  from  the  faith,  giving  heed  to  seducing  spirits, 
and  doctrines  of  devils."  The  Lord  does  not  say  there  is  nothing 
in  it,  .that  it  is  a  slight-of-hand  performance,  but  he  says  they 
will  give  heed  to  it,  and  what  glory  can  God  get  out  of  table- 
dancings  or  rappings?  If  they  would  only  do  some  wonderful 
thing  to  convince  the  people,  and  then  try  to  get  them  to  turn 
from  their  sins,  and  believe  in  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ.  What  glory 
can  God  get  out  of  someone  telling  you  you  will  be  married  soon ; 
that  they  see  things  for  you  in  the  future,  if  they  do  not  try  to 
get  you  to  believe  in  the  welfare  of  your  soul.  In  I  Sam.  28:6, 
when  Saul  got  so  far  away  from  the  Lord  that  he  could  not)  com- 
mune with  him,  he  went  to  the  high  priest  and  got  no  consolation 
there,  and  in  place  of  going  to  a  live  prophet  he  went  to  a  dead 
one,  and  through  a  human  instrument  he  communed  with  familiar 
spirits  spoken  of  in  the  3d  verse  of  this  chapter.  There  is  no 
need  of  God's  children  going  to  the  children  of  the  world  who 
have  these  gifts  to  see  what  God's  will  is  concerning  them  in  tem- 
poral things,  for  we  have  prophets  and  seers  in  the  churches,  for 
there  are  people  in  the  churches  whom  God  visits  in  visions.  I 
am  convinced  of  this  from  my  own  experience.  These  gifts  are  not 
all  in  Spiritualists'  meetings.  The  only  difference  I  can  see  between 
the  two  classes  is,  one  class  are  spiritualists,  and  the  other  is 
spiritual.  Some  think  those  gifts  ceased,  and  miracles  came  to  an 
end  the  day  of  Pentecost.  You  can  see  after  the  Holy  Ghost  descended 
they  used  those  gifts  and  can  to-day  if  they  live  in  touch  with  God, 
those  who  have  the  gifts.  In  Acts  10:3,  Cornelius  saw  an  angel. 
So  you  see  the  angels  did  not  stop  coming  to  earth  after  the  days 
of  the  Holy  Ghost  on  earth.  There  is  nothing  in  God's  word  that 
teaches  us  the  angels  have  ceased  to  come,  or  that  the  days  of 
vision  are  over.  In  the  loth  verse  of  this  chapter  Peter  fell  into 
a  trance,  but  he  did  not  know  the  meaning  of  the  vision.  He  was 
led  by  the  Holy  Ghost,  and  in  the  34th  verse  he  found  out  what 
the  vision  meant,  through  being  led  by  the  Holy  Ghost  .and  obedi- 
ence. His  experience  taught  him.  Too  many  try  to  interpret  what 
they  see  without  the  Holy  Ghost  showing  them.  They  are  gifted 
to  see,  but  they  do  not  live  in  touch  with  God  sufficiently  for  the 
Holy  Spirit  to  interpret  the  vision.  I  know  people  who  can  see 
and  hear  and  know  things  that  have  come  to  pass  who  were  never 
in  a  Spiritualists'  meeting  in  their  life,  and  know  nothing  about 

14 


2IO  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

them,  but  have  been  converted  and  are  living  spiritual  lives  to-day. 
I  don't  know  why  they  should  come  and  tell  me  what  they  see 
and  hear,  only  that  I  am  such  a  strong  believer  in  these  gifts.  The 
church  should  listen  to  those  who  can  see  as  much  as  they  would 
to  those  who  have  the  gift  of  faith.  If  they  would  there  would 
not  be  so  many  running  off  into  those  ungodly  Spiritualist  meet- 
ings. In  Dan.  5  the  wicked  king  Belshazzar  saw  part  of  the 
hand  that  wrote  on  the  wall.  In  the  7th  verse  he  called  the  sooth- 
sayers and  they  could  not  interpret.  It  was  too  sacred  a  thing  for 
God  to  permit  the  devil's  children,  though  they  were  gifted,  to 
interpret.  The  king  could  see,. but  what  good  did  it  do  him?  In 
Gen  41:1,  the  king,  Pharaoh,  had  a  simple  thing.  We  call  it 
simply  a  dream.  None  of  his  wise  men  could  interpret  the  dream. 
What  did  Joseph  tell  them  in  Gen.  40:8?  He  told  them  the  inter- 
pretation belonged  to  God.  Are  we  any  wiser  to-day  in  spiritual 
things?  Do  we  not  need  the  Holy  Spirit  to  interpret  for  us? 
When  Pharaoh  sent  for  Joseph  he  gave  him  plainly  to  understand, 
in  the  forty-first  chapter,  i6th  verse,  that  it  was  not  in  him  to 
tell  or  interpret,  but  God  should  give  an  answer.  Do  you  see  where 
the  wrong  in  fortune-tellers  lies?  They  have  not  God  to  interpret. 
Why?  Because  they  do  not  live  godly  lives,  but  familiar  spirits 
control  them.  Jeremiah  saw  a  vision  of  figs  in  a  basket.  (Jer. 
24:3.)  They  asked  Jeremiah  what  he  saw.  God  did  not  ask  him 
to  interpret  it,  but  in  the  5th  verse  he  told  him  what  it  meant. 
Another  thing  I  notice ;  in  olden  times  those  who  could  see  and 
prophesy  took  no  money.  They  did  not  use  the  gift  as  a  money- 
making  scheme,  as  the  master  of  the  girl  out  of  whom  Paul  cast  the 
devil ;  and  she  could  no  more  use  the  gift  for  money-making.  It 
made  the  girl's  master  angry  when  Paul  cast  the  devil  out,  because 
the  wonderful  works  and  fortune-telling  ceased.  So  you  can  plainly 
see  the  devil  uses  these  gifts.  When  Namaan  was  healed  Elijah 
would  not  receive  money  or  gifts,  and  set  no  price;  and  when 
Elijah's  servant  wanted  to  make  money  out  of  it  he  was  struck  with 
leprosy.  If  we  read  God's  word  we  can  plainly  see  the  difference. 
They  are  like  the  wise  men  in  Ex.  7:11.  They  did  as  Aaron  did 
when  he  cast  down  the  rod  and  the  rod  turned  to  a  snake.  But 
if  we  will  watch  their  lives,  as  Moses  and  Aaron  watched  the  wise 
men,  we  will  see  they  amount  to  nothing.  As  far  as  they  went  it 
was  wonderful  for  their  rods  to  turn  to  snakes,  but  Aaron's  rod 
swallowed  them  up.  So  their  wonderful  works  did  not  amount  to 
anything,  neither  do  they  in  these  days,  for  all  the  wonders  they 
do  will  come  to  an  end  and  you  will  be  left  without  God  and  hope. 
If  the  bible  were  not  full  of  warnings  against  such  doctrines  I  would 
not  be  surprised  at  the  people  being  led  away ;  but  they  are  willingly 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  211 

ignorant  of  what  God  says.  In  II  Cor.  11:13,  they  transformed 
themselves  into  the  apostles  of  Christ.  And  Paul  says  in  the  loth 
verse:  "No  man  shall  stop  him  from  boasting."  Why?  Because 
he  said  he  wanted  to  cut  off  those  who  were  glorying,  if  they  were 
not  found  even  as  he  was.  How  were  they  found?  In  the  27th 
verse  of  this  chapter  we  find  the  answer :  "Without  anything,  not 
receiving  money."  Paul  wanted  all  who  were  teaching  and  preach- 
ing, who  did  not  know  anything  about  the  forgiveness  of  sin  and 
faith  in  Christ,  to  stop.  You  know  from  their  daily  talk  and  the 
fruits  of  the  Spirit  whether  they  are  in  that  kind  of  life  or  not. 
God  says,  in  the  I4th  verse  of  the  same  chapter,  not  to  be  surprised 
at  their  wonderful  works,  for  Satan  himself  is  transformed  into  an 
angel  of  light.  Paul  wanted  those  stopped  who  were  not  willing 
to  suffer,  and  go  without,  and  be  the  off-scourings  of  the  world,  as 
he  was.  God  says  they  will  be  found  wearing  long  robes,  and  will 
like  to.be  seen  of  men,  and  will  not  suffer  persecution  if  they  can 
keep  from  it.  They  are  too  proud  to  be  talked  about  without  trying 
to  defend  themselves.  They  would  never  be  willing  to  endure  what 
Paul  did.  In  the  I5th_verse  he  says:  "Therefore  it  is  no  great  thing 
if  his  ministers  also  be  transformed  as  the  ministers  of  righteous- 
ness; whose  end  shall  be  according  to  their  works."  In  II  Pet. 
3:16,  God  says  some  of  these  things  are  hard  to  understand,  and 
that  the  unlearned,  and  those  who  have  not  studied  God's  word  will 
wrest  the  scripture  unto  their  own  destruction.  If  we  have  the 
anointing  of  the  spirit,  spoken  of  in  I  John  2 :27,  "the  anointing 
which  ye  have  received  of  him  abideth  in  you,  and  ye  need  not  that 
any  man  teach  you ;  but  as  the  same  anointing  teacheth  you  of  all 
things,  and  is  truth,  and  is  no  lie;"  not  so  much  a  college  educa- 
tion, but  we  are  ignorant  of  the  spiritual  teaching  of  the  Holy  Ghost. 
That  is  why  so  many  educated  people  get  wrong  light  on  scripture, 
and  are  led  away  into  different  doctrines.  This  is  so  plain  that  a 
child,  if  wiliing,  can  understand.  II  John  9:  "Whosoever  trans- 
gresseth,  and  abideth  not  in  the  doctrine  of  Christ,  hath  not  God. 
He  that  abideth  in  the  doctrine  of  Christ,  he  h.ath  both  the  Father 
and  the  Son."  By  this  it  must  take  both  to  make  our  salvation 
complete.  Now  read  the  loth  verse :  "If  there  come  any  unto 
you,  and  bring  not  this  doctrine,  receive  him  not  into  your  house, 
neither  bid  him  God  speed."  What  if  you  worship  with  them? 
God  tells  us  in  the  nth  verse:  "For  he  that  biddeth  him  God  speed, 
is  partaker  of  his  evil  deeds."  Again  in  Gal.  1 :8 :  "But  though 
we,  or  an  angel  from  heaven,  preach  any  other  gospel  unto  you. than 
that  which  we  have  preached  unto  you,  let  him  be  accursed."  How 
can  we  be  so  blind  as  to  be  led  away  from  this  plain  doctrine?  In 
the  gth  verse  he  says,  to  make  it  plainer  if  possible :  "As  we  said 


212  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

before,  so  I  say  now  again,  If  any  man  preach  any  other  gospel 
unto  you  than  that  ye  have  received,  let  him  be  accursed."  So  if  an 
angel  came  and  took  from  or  added  to,  or  tried  to  lead  people 
away,  God  would  curse  him. 

Let  us  not  get  away  from  these  spiritual  gifts  and  visions 
because  of  wicked  spiritualists,  for  God  tells  us  in  Acts  2:17:  "And 
it  shall  come  to  pass  in  the  last  days,  saith  God,  I  will  pour  out 
of  my  Spirit  upon  all  flesh :  and  your  sons  and  your  daughters  shall 
prophesy,  and  your  young  men  shall  see  visions,  and  your  old  men 
shall  dream  dreams."  In  Joel  2:28  are  the  same  words,  and  in 
Acts  2:39  he  says:  "For  the  promise  is  unto  you,  and  to  your 
children,  and  to  all  that  are  afar  off,  even  as  many  as  the  Lord  our 
God  shall  call."  You  see  the  day  never  will  come  when  visions 
and  dreams  will  end,  as  some  think.  Church  members  to-day  call 
people  who  can  see  or  have  visions  crazy. 

At  the  time  I  went  to  see  Sister  Barr  I  was  appointed  chair- 
man of  the  visiting  committee.  It  was  the  first  time  this  committee, 
most  of  them  ladies,  were  ever  in  a  house  of  ill-fame,  and  as  I 
had  done  this  kind  of  mission  work  before,  ^they  thought  it  wise 
to  put  me  in  as  leader.  Some  of  the  largest*  houses,  were  difficult 
to  enter.  I  had  an  experience  during  those  few  weeks  that  I 
shall  never  forget.  The  following  is  a  clipping  from  one  of  our 
city  papers  which  details  my  experience: 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 

"HOME  FOR  FALLEN  WOMEN. 

4  4»TpHERE  was  a  mass  meeting  of  the  ladies  yesterday  at 
Trinity  M.  E.  church,  to  take  future  action  in  re-  • 
gard  to  the  establishment  of  a  home  in  Denver  for 
fallen  women.  The  meeting  was  called  'by  the  W.  C.  T.  U. 
There  were  150  ladies  present.  Mrs.  A.  W.  Brazee  pre- 
sided. The  keynote  of  the  meeting  was  struck  in  the  initial 
hymn,  'Rescue  the  perishing.'  Mrs.  Craise  and  Brs.  Battis  led 
in  prayer.  Addresses  were  made  by  Mrs.  Tupper,  Mrs.  Lich- 
ens, Miss  Moffet  and  Mrs.  Peterson.  Mrs.  M.  R.  Spur- 
geon  was  selected  chairman  of  the  house  committee,  and 
Mrs.  R.*  W.  Peterson  chairman  of  the  visiting  committee. 
The  nominating  committee  is  composed  as  follows:  Mes- 
dames  Tupper,  Mclntyre,  Battis,  B.  Craig,  Blanchard,  Gov- 
ernor Waite,  Governor  Routt,  Cameron,  Judge  A.  J.  Rising, 
Dean  Peck,  Morey,  S.  M.  Johnson,  Bel  ford,  Sanderson, 
Quinn,  D.  Fletcher,  McClintock,  Tyler,  Brazee,  Sinclare, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  21$ 

Vaile,  Cassell,  Skinner,  Kountze}  Murphy,  Vincent,  Bishop 
Warren,  Rhodes,  Spencer,  Bushnell,  C.  H.  Walker,  Leonard, 
Uzzell,  Peterson,  Mayor  Rogers  and  William  N.  Byers." 

Trinity  church  is  one  of  the  leading  churches  of  our  city  and 
the  leading  society  ladies  of  the  city  attend  it.  I  felt  more  like  being 
led  out,  after  I  had  taken  my  seat  among  the  speakers,  there  was 
so  much  style  and  fashion  in  evidence.  I  began  to  imagine  I  looked 
as  much  out  of  place  as  a  pig  would  be  in  the  parlor.  One  might 
wonder  why  I  felt  so.  One  reason  was  I  did  not  think  to  put  on 
my  kid  .gloves,  as  I  was  not  in  the  habit  of  wearing  them,  and 
not  stopping  to  think  of  the  stylish  place  I  was  to  speak  in.  I  felt 
as  strange  as  if  I  had  come  in  bare-headed.  Not  one  on  the  plat- 
form nor  in  the  audience,  as  far  as  I  could  see,  but  whom  had  on 
kid  gloves  except  me.  Try  to  imagine  how  I  felt!  You  could, 
hear  the  rustle  of  the  silk  dresses  and  the  air  was  laden  with  rich 
perfumes  from  their  delicate  handkerchiefs.  But  there  I  was,  won- 
dering what  to  do  with  my  big,  coarse,  red  hands.  One  could 
not  help  seeing  I  was  embarrassed,  and  you  surely  would  have 
pitied  me.  However  I  was  compelled  to  make  the  best  of  it.  [ 
thought  I  would  never  be  able  to  say  anything,  for  I  could  not 
forget  my  hands.  I  was  so  glad  I  was  the  last  one  to  speak.  Per- 
haps the  remarks  of  the  other  speakers  would  give  me  an  idea  what 
to  say,  but  my  efforts  were  in  vain.  As  they  sang  the  song  pre- 
ceding my  remarks  I  could  feel  my  heart  begin  to  fill  with  tlhe 
Spirit,  and  I  knew  I  was  all  right.  When  I  got  up  I  wondered 
what  the  audience  thought  of  my  bare  hands,  but  the  Spirit  came 
with  a  flood  of  thought  that  crowded  all  else  from  my  mind.  Ad- 
dressing the  chairman,  I  turned  to  the  audience  and  quoted  this  pas- 
sage of  scripture:  "Thanking  God  for  as  much  as  we  know, 
our  labors  are  not  in  vain  in  the  Lord."  Telling  of  one  house  we 
went  into,  where  there  were  five  girls  and  the  madam,  we  had 
taken  our  seats  in  the,  parlor,  the  girls  being  up  and  dressed.  They 
generally  get  up  at  I  o'clock  in  the  afternoon.  I  related  the  good, 
homey  chat  we  had  with  the  girls,  the  cause  of  their  downfall,  and 
told  them  how  our  talk  brought  back  to  them  their  young  lives,  with 
dear  old  mother  around  the  fireplace  in  the  old  homestead.  Some 
of  their  mothers  had  gone  on  to  receive  their  reward.  One  by  one 
in  tears  told  their  stories,  and  how  they  had  drifted  into  the  life 
of  death.  It  was  not  long  till  my  bare  hands  were  in  the  air,  as 
I  warmed  up  to  my  subject.  I  found  plenty  for  my  hands  to  do. 
I  do  not  believe  there  was  a  lady  in  the  house  who  gave  my  hands 
a  second  thought.  As  I  went  on  telling  them  of  the  hope  there  was 
for  some,  and  the  story  of  dear  Mollie  Hill  and  others,  I  could 


214  THE      LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

see  one  by  one  reach  for  their  handkerchiefs,  until  I  do  not  believe 
there  was  a  dry  eye  in  the  house.  Before  I  got  through  I  felt  as 
much  at  home  in  that  church,  among  the  fashionable  ladies,  as  I 
did  in  the  Mission,  or  on  the  street  corners,  and  when  it  came  my 
turn  to  speak  in  the  First  Baptist  church  I  was  ready,  and  did  not 
feel  embarrassed,  thanks  to  the  power  of  the  Spirit. 

In  August  of  the  same  summer  I  held  meetings  at  my  father's 
home.  I  had  gone  back  to  help-  settle  his  estate.  We  held  camp 
meetings  in  the  grove.  I  took  a  little  trip  to  Minneapolis  before 
returning  home.  I  went  down  there  to  see  one  of  my  nieces,  who 
is  here  now.  She  told  me  she  was  going  to  Kansas  City,  and  I 
thought  it  best  for  her  to  come  with  me,  as  she  had  never  been 
among  strangers.  We  were  not  able  to  clothe  her.  She  was  a 
strong  girl,  and  able  to  earn  her  own  way.  When  not  at  work 
she  lived  with  me.  She  had  not  been  here  long  before  she  went  to 
work,  but  worked  only  two  weeks  when  a  gasoline  stove  exploded 
and  she  was  seriously  burned.  I  brought  her  home  and  watched 
over  her  night  and  day  till  she  recovered.  She  worked  in  the 
winter,  and  in  the  summer  lived  with  me  and  led  the  singing  on 
the  street  in  the  gospel  wagon.  When,  she  was  able  to  look  after 
the  home,  I  was  asked  to  be  one  of  the  committee  to  decide  where 
the  camp  meeting  should  be  held  that  fall,  so  a  little  company  of  us 
left  one  morning  for  Erie,  thirty  miles  from  Denver.  In  a  short 
time  we  arrived,  and  were  met  by  a  committee  of  Erie  people.  Bug- 
gies were  ready  to  take  us  to  the  grove.  We  had  a  good  old-fash- 
ioned farm  dinner,  decided  on  the  place,  and  held  a  meeting  that 
afternoon.  It  was  announced  that  we  would  have  some  short  talks 
from  the  committee  at  Erie  that  evening.  The  next  morning  we 
were  to  take  the  train  for  Denver,  but  at  the  close  of  the  meeting 
we  announced  we  would  have  a  sunrise  meeting  the  next  morning 
and  pray  for  the  success  of  the  camp  meeting,  which  was  to  begin 
in  a  few  days.  After  the  meeting  we  went  to  breakfast.  I  did 
not  enjoy  mine  as  I  should  if  everything  had  been  a  little  different. 
The  minister's  wife  at  Erie  said  the  Lord  had  laid  it  on  her  heart 
that  I  should  go  to  Lafayette,  a  coal  mining  camp  about  three  miles 
from  Erie,  of  about  1,000  inhabitants.  I  Went,  and  we  had  a  week's 
meeting,  though  I  had  not  come  prepared  to  stay,  for  we  intended 
to  return  to  Denver  the  next  morning,  and  I  had  never  held  meet- 
ings outside  of  Denver,  except  at  my  father's  home  in  Kansas.  I 
was  a  little  timid.  I  did  not  know  whether  I  could  manage  a 
meeting  in  a  mining  camp  or  not.  They  were  expecting  me  home, 
but  I  trusted  God  that  everything  would  be  all  right,  and  I  only 
had  three  hours  before  train  time  to  make  up  my  mind.  I  went  to 
Lafayette  and  held  meetings  every  afternoon  and  evening  for  a 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  215 

week.     They  were  a  success.     Returning  to  Denver,  I  took  charge 
of  the  wagon  every  evening  till  the  first  of  November. 

The  life  of  sacrifice  that  was  lived  that  summer  only  God  knows. 
My  niece  was  with  me  to  help  on  the  wagon,  and  we  lived  so  that 
our  grocery  bill  was  not  one  dollar  more  than  when  she  was  not 
with  me.  We  went  without  meat  till  we  were  so  hungry  we  could 
not  stand  the  craving  for  it,  then  we  would  get  a  ten-cent  piece  of 
soup  meat,  making  it  last  two  days.  For  breakfast  we  had  coffee, 
bread  and  butter,  our  supper  being  bread,  butter  and  tea,  the  butter 
being  spread  as  thin  as  possible.  I  went  to  the  cracker  factory  and 
got  broken  crackers,  and  we  had  them  with  tea,  for  a  change,  for 
supper.  I  expect  to  meet  this  statement  at  the  bar  of  God,  and 
so  does  my  niece.  When  my  niece  was  at  work  I  lived  a  little 
better  than  when  she  was  home.  It  was  understood  between  us 
when  she  came  home  that  we  should  live  so  that  it  would  cost  Mr. 
Peterson  no  more.  When  anyone  would  ask:  "Sister  Peterson, 
how  does  your  husband  like  for  you  to  have  Jennie  at  the  house?" 
I  would  say  he  would  not  mind  it,  only  he  thinks  I  go  too  much. 
There  was  not  a  soul  that  knew  we  lived  as  we  did.  God  knows 
I  have  gone  hungry,  that  my  nature  has  cried  out  and  longed  for 
just  common  food.  I  would  just  satisfy  hunger  and  that  was  all. 
Talk  about  Paul  saying  he  went  hungry.  I  do  not  see  how  he 
could  have  gone  with  less  than  I  did.  I  have  lived  this  kind  of 
a  life  for  seven  years.  The  first  eight  years  of  Christian  work, 
my  little  girl  being  small,  I  did  not  have  the  chance  to  do  what 
I  have  done  the  last  seven  years.  The  fore  part  of  my  Christian 
life  I  attended  only  the  Wednesday  night  meeting  and  Sunday  ser- 
vices, and  when  I  started  the  Friday  night  meetings  I  seldom  went 
to  the  Wednesday  night  meetings,  and  the  Tabernacle  people  knew 
that  I  attended  very  few  entertainments.  When  Mr.  Peterson 
worked  at  night  I  staid  at  home  in  the  day  time,  and  whatever 
Christian  work  I  did  I  did  in  the  evening  after  he  went  to  work. 
When  he  worked  during  the  day  I  staid  home  evenings  Qtnd  did  my 
Christian  work  through  the  day,  except  Sunday  and  Friday  evenings. 
We  had  to  pay  out  a  great  deal  for  doctor  bills  for  our  sick  child 
the  first  seven  years  and  were  paying  for  a  $1,600  home.  I  learned  in 
those  years  to  sacrifice,  but  for  the  last  seven  years  I  went  into  the 
work  and  met  so  many  poor  that  were  sick  and  hungry  I  was 
compelled  to  do  as  I  did  or  not  do  the  work.  It  was  to  do  without, 
or  have  plenty  and  do  nothing.  In  all  these  years'  work  I  never  met 
but  one  or  two  who  would  lend  me  a  helping  hand.  Most  of  the 
time  I  walked  to  church.  I  have  picked  up  shoes  that  others  threw 
away  and  wore  them  to  save  mine,  so  I  could  walk  to  church.  There 
are  women  in  this  city  who  have  given  me  shoes  they  would  not 


2l6  THE      LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

wear,  and  Mr.  Peterson  half-soled  them  where  it  would  cost  only 
fifteen  or  twenty  cents,  and  two  wrappers  and  one  calico  dress  were 
all  I  had  to  wear  about  the  house  for  twelve  years.  I  got  a  good 
dress  and  wore  it  till  I  could  wear  it  no  longer  in  public,  then  I 
would  patch  it  up  for  the  house.  I  always  made  one  good  dress  last 
two  years.  In  the  last  twelve  years  I  have  bought  two  cheap  night- 
gowns, after  wearing  old  waists  instead.  I  will  give  you  a  little 
history  of  one  of  these  old  night-waists. 

The  body  of  it  was  one  of  Mr.  Peterson's  old  flannel  shirts 
he  could  not  wear  any  longer.  I  patched  it  over  and  over,  and  the 
sleeves  were  all  gone,  so  it  would  not  keep  my  arms  warm.  I  had 
a  thin  old  street  jacket  I  could  wear  no  longer,  so  I  took  the 
sleeves  out  of  the  jacket  and  put  them  into  the  night  shirt.  I 
cannot  tell  you  how  long  I  wore  it.  This  will  give  you  an  idea 
of  how  I  had  to  manage  in  order  to  do  the  good  I  have  done. 

At  this  time  I  had  worn  my  best  dress  two  years,  and  ex- 
pected to  make  it  do  me  another.  I  also  have  a  wheel  skirt,  the 
making  of  which  cost  me  $i,  a  thin,  black  waist  that  cost  $1.50, 
the  rest  of  my  wardrobe  being  too  cheap  to  mention.  It  is  three 
years  in  April  since  I  bought  a  shirt  waist  except  this  black  waist 
I  have  just  told  you  of,  for  the  thin  waists  I  have  worn  about  the 
house  for  the  past  two  years  have  been  given  me.  I  have  gone 
without  everything  possible.  For  almost  twenty  years  that  I  have 
kept  house,  I  never  bought  a  rug  to  go  on  the  carpet  till  last  year. 
The  first  rug  I  ever  bought,  and  I  am  40  years  old!  Some  who 
have  lived  with  me  have  given  me  things  enough  to  furnish  the 
up-stairs  of  the  house.  Brother  Campbell  gave  me  $10  towards  buy- 
ing linoleum  for  the  kitchen,  as  he  said  it  wtes  too  hard  to  scrub 
the  floor  with  the  other  work,  and  work  for  God  as  I  did.  I  have 
had  a  good  many  of  my  quilts  given  me.  I  tell  you  this  to  show 
*that  Mr.  Peterson  has  not  been  compelled  to  bear  the  burden  of 
my  Christian  work.  I  have  often  been  accused  of  robbing  him, 
when  Go<^has  blessed  us  so  that  all  I  have  done  has  come  back 
into  our  own  home.  During  the  crisis  of  1893,  when  so  many  of 
the  banks  closed  here,  the  Union  Pacific  employes  struck  for  higher 
wages.  Mr.  Peterson  went  out  with  them.  We  had  at  that  time 
several  hundred  dollars  in  cash,  a  nice  home  paid  for,  and  furnished 
nicely  enough  for  an  ordinary  family;  we  did  not  owe  a  cent  in 
the  world.  So  my  conscience  is  clear  about  robbing  him.  If  any 
wife  in  Denver  can  make  a  better  showing  I  would  like  to  exchange 
photos  with  her.  At  present  we  have  several  hundred  in  cash,  and 
do  not  owe  a  five-cent  piece.  I  will  leave  it  to  any  judge  or  jury 
have  given  much  away  after  all.  The  musical  education 
I  have  given  my  little  girl  has  cost  no  small  sum.  She  has  taken 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  217 

lessons  since  she  was  7  years  old,  and  now  she  is  20.  Still  the  busy- 
bodies  will  call  me  a  robber  and  a  thief  and  a  hypocrite,  feeding  all 
the  hoboes  that  come  along.  There  is  but  one  carpet  in  the  house 
that  we  bought,  and  that  one  is  nearly  eight  years  old;  yet  every 
room  is  carpeted.  We  have  six  rooms.  The  stand  I  am  writing 
on  was  given  me.  In  twenty-five  years  Mr.  Peterson  has  been 
without  work  but  two  years,  and  that  was  the  time  he  went  with 
the  strikers.  If  the  readers  of  this  book  take  me  for  an  example 
I  can  assure  them  they  will  never  die  in  the  poorhouse.  God 
will  care  for  them.  He  has  promised.  I  have  lived  a  life  like 
this  for  Jesus'  sake,  and  for  the  sake  of  precious  souls;  and  to 
keep  peace  in  the  home,  in  order  to  do  the  work.  I  do  not  for 
one  moment  regret  the  suffering  or  labor  in  the  last  twenty-one 
years.  I  have  no  one  to  blame,  nor  do  I  blame  anyone.  I  have 
launched  out  in  this  labor  of  love  of  my  own  free  will,  because 
I  love  my  neighbor  as  myself,  and  the  Lord  with  all  my  heart,  soul, 
mind  and  strength,  till  my  strength  is  gone  and  my  health  and  age 
will  not  permit  me  to  work  and  suffer  want  as  I  have  in  the  past. 
So  my  prayer  is  that  God  will  bless  this  book,  that  it  may  do  many 
times  the  good  I  have  done  in  my  weak  way.  I  want  to  tell  you 
some  of  the  experiences  I  have  had.  I  know  it  is  the  fault  of  many 
of  the  poor  that  they  have  not  good  homes  of  their  own  and  plenty 
to  do  with.  In  the  first  place  they  rob  God.  They  have  not  been 
honest  with  him.  In  the  second  place  they  have  not  been  honest 
with  their  fellowmen.  They  have  been  so  selfish  in  small  things. 
I  know  this  to  be  a  fact,  and  my  heart  has  almost  broken.  I  can- 
not name  one  man  or  woman  whom  I  have  dealt  with,  but  wanted 
the  best  of  the  dealing.  I  have  noticed  it  from  a  penny  up  to  dol- 
lars ;  and  the  penny  dealing  has  hurt  me  as  much  as  the  dollars, 
because  I  knew  the  character  of  the  person  was  bad.  They  had  the 
spirit  to  have  a  little  the  best  of  the  penny.  All  they  wanted 
was  the  chance,  and  the  disposition  would  show  itself ;  and  the  devil 
would  have  them  blinded  to  this  selfishness.  While  they  were 
splitting  hairs  with  me,  they  would  be  giving  someone  fits  for 
being  close  and  stingy,  till  I  dare  not  repeat  a  fault  I  see  lest  I 
am  guttty  of  the  same,  if  not  worse.  I  have  seen  this  with  hundreds 
I  have  dealt  with,  until  I  am  amazed  at  the  depth  of  blinded 
selfishness  of  the  human  race.  You  can  see  it  so  plainly  in  little 
things.  A  common,  hard-working  woman  would  not  be  willing 
to  work  hard  all  day  herself,  and  get  but  little  for  the  day's  work, 
but  would  be  willing  for  someone  else  to  do  as  much  for  nothing. 
I  have  had  this  happen  to  me  many  times.  Men  are  as  bad  as 
women ;  selfishness  blinds  them  so  they  do  not  know  it.  I  would 
not  believe  it  myself  if  I  had  not  seen  it. 


2i8  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

I  find,  to  live  a  bible  life,  from  the  smallest  to  the  greatest 
thing,  you  must  give  good  measure.  I  know  I  have,  and  then  they 
were  not  satisfied.  You  will  not  find  one  who  does  not  want  you  to 
give  scripture  measure;  and  the  ones  who  want  you  to  do  it  will  not 
let  others  deal  the  same  with  them.  Oh,  if  we  could  only  see  our 
own  ways  as  well  as  others!  I  often  think  it  has  been  my  mis- 
fortune to  deal  with  that  class  of  people  which  tries  to  know  all 
about  my  business,  and  my  home  affairs,  and  personal  affairs;  but 
they  shut  their  doors  against  me  in  their  private  affairs,  and  do 
not  want  the  world  to  know  a  thing  that  is  going  on  in  their 
homes.  I  know  many  who  say :  "I  do  not  like  this  or  that  one.  He 
is  too  inquisitive."  And  at  the  same  time  they  are  as  bad  or  worse. 
You  cannot  make  a  move  but  they  want  to  know  everything.  Do  you 
know  it  would  take  half  your  time  to  tell  them,  and  if  you  do 
not  they  get  something  into  their  minds,  take  it  for  granted  it  is 
true,  and  tell  it  for  facts,  thinking  they  know  all  about  your  busi- 
ness, and  they  tell  it  to  someone  else,  who  exaggerates  it  again.  They 
must  change  it  some;  and  by  the  time  the  story  gets  back  to  you 
it  is  a  new  one.  Oh,  this  sin  is  found  among  the  people  of  God 
more  than  among  the  people  of  the  world,  yet  God's  word  is  full 
of  warnings  along  this  line.  Here  is  a  passage  of  scripture  on  this 
subject:  "He  that  goeth  about  as  a  tale-bearer  revealeth  secrets: 
therefore  meddle  not  with  him  that  flattereth  with  his  lips."  (Prov. 
20:19.) 

As  God's  word  tells  us  in  Luke  6:38:  "Give,  and  it  shall  be 
given  unto  you;  good  measure,  pressed  down,  and  shaken  together, 
and  running  over,  shall  men  give  into  your  bosom.  For  with  the 
same  measure  that  ye  mete  withal,  it  shall  be  measured  to  you 
again."  God  says  it  shall,  no  maybe  about  it.  We  may  do  all  in  our 
own  strength  to  prevent  it,  but  it  will  come,  because  God  says  if 
we  deal  close  with  others,  we  will  meet  those  who  will  do  the 
same  with  us.  I  could  not  begin  to  tell  the  number  of  people 
who  have  dealt  close  with  me,  and  they  are  poor  to-day.  It  makes 
me  think  of  one  who  staid  with  me  nearly  a  year,  while  at  the 
same  time  I  had  three  others  at  my  house.  Two  gave  me  one  dollar 
a  week,  and  I  did  favor  them  a  little;  not  much,  but  it  was  only 
right  for  the  ones  who  gave  to  expect  more  than  those  who  gave 
nothing.  It  was  not  long  before  they  got  hold  of  the  one  who  was 
not  paying  and  told  them  that  Sister  Peterson  had  her  pets.  I  said 
nothing,  and  he  staid  until  he  secured  work,  but  was  not  the  one 
to  say:  "Here  is  a  'five'  or  a  'ten'  with  which  to  help  some- 
one in  the  same  position  I  was  in."  They  could  not  see  it  that 
way,  but  God  did.  The  one  who  did  the  fault-finding  soon  after- 
wards lost  $10.  Now,  I  care  not  who  thinks  otherwise,  I  have 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  219 

seen  this  happen  so  many  times  that  I  know  this  38th  "verse  to  be 
true.  Those  who  are  blind,  and  cannot  see  afar  off,  might  say 
things  like  this  happen  so,  but  I  know  better.  God  wills  these 
things  to  happen,  and  they  do.  He  will  take  it — if  not  that  way, 
then  some  other  way.  He  says  they  shall  not  prosper,  and  this 
is  the  reason  they  do  not.  Like  one  whom  I  did  much  for,  and 
who  had  often  said  herself  she  did  not  know  what  would  have 
hecome  of  her  if  it  had  not  been  for  me.  One  time  she  staid  at 
my  house  ten  months.  When  she  came  she  brought  a  quarter's 
worth  of  handkerchiefs,  and  said  my  little  girl  took  one  of  them; 
so  I  gave  her  a  quarter's  worth  of  medicine  and  three  or  four  good 
meals,  did  some  washing  and  waited  on  her  when  sick.  She  re- 
marked to  me  she  could  not  see  how  anyone  who  ever  pretended 
to  love  me  could  be  close-fisted  with  me, '  or  afraid  I  would  get 
a  penny  the  best  of  them.  Yet  it  was  not  a  week  before  she  came 
to  my  house  and  said  everything  mean  possible  to  my  little  girl 
because  of  the  supposed  loss  of  ten  cents,  which  she  "knew  was 
in  the  house."  I  was  not  at  home,  so  she  had  her  say  to  the 
child.  Afterwards  I  took  care  of  her  in  my  home  during  a  spell  of 
sickness,  caring  for  her  just  as  if  nothing  had  been  said  or  done. 
I  could  write  volumes  of  just  such  things — little  things — that  hurt 
worse  than  big  ones,  because,  as  God  says,  it  is  the  little  foxes 
that  kill  the  vine.  God  looks  at  the  little  things.  If  we  have  the 
carnal  mind,  we  have  not  the  mind  of  Christ.  In  Luke  16:10:  "He 
that  is  faithful  in  that  which  is  least,  is  faithful  also  in  much; 
and  he  that  is  unjust  in  the  least,  is  unjust  also  in  much." 

One  day  I  was  in  the  home  of  one  of  God's  children.  I  knew 
she  was  a  child  of  God,  but  what  hurt  me  was  she  was  making 
a  profession  of  sanctification.  I  had  been  there  all  day,  and  about 
5  o'clock  her  husband  came  in.  She  set  the  table  and  fried  him 
two  or  three  eggs.  There  was  no  kindling  in  the  house,  and  she 
fried  the  eggs  with  paper.  They  were  hardly  done.  He  sat  down 
to  eat  his  supper,  and  calling  her  by  name,  said :  "You  know  I 
cannot  eat  eggs  like  that."  He  said  it  kindly.  A  sober  look  came 
over  her  face  and  she  went  into  the  other  room.  She  sat  down 
and  began  to  play  a  Christian  tune  on  the  piano.  He  got  up  from 
ttye  table  and  went  out  and  cut  some  kindling,  made  a  fire  and  fried 
his  eggs.  He  looked  tired  and  hungry,  she  was  strong  and  well. 
I  thought  of  the  passage  of  scripture  I  have  just  quoted.  To  this 
day  when  I  hear  her  talk  of  being  holy  I  always  think  of  those 
eggs — though  it  was  five  years  ago.  I  often  wonder  if  she  has 
improved  any  in  the  little  things.  We  can  all  afford  to  consider 
well  the  little  things.  I  have  had  more  than  one  good  Christian 
say  to  me,  and  I  could  not  get  over  it,  though  it  is  a  little  thing: 
"Sister  Peterson,  I  would  no  more  live  as  you  do  and  dress  as  you 


220  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

do  than  anything,  if  "my  husband  was  making  the  wages  yours  is, 
and  owned  our  own  home  as  you  do.  God  does  not  ask  it  of  you, 
no  more  than  of  me,  and  I  know  he  does  not  ask  it  of  me."  I  could 
not  help  thinking  of  what  God  says  of  little  things,  that  children 
of  God  walk  right  over,  failing  to  see  the  truth  in  Christ  Jesus. 
Luke  6:30:  "Give  to  every  man  that  asketh  of  thee;  and  of  him 
that  taketh  away  thy  goods,  ask  them  not  again."  In  the  same  chap- 
ter, the  4Oth  verse  the  Savior  says :  "The  disciple  is  not  above 
his  master:  but  everyone  that  is  perfect  shall  be  as  his  master." 
We  know  the  Lord  did  not  have  to  go  without,  but  we  know  he 
did,  and  it  was  for  others.  It  was  in  his  power  to  have  a  good 
bed  every  night,  but  he  did  not  always  have  it.  It  is  no  credit  to 
anyone  to  live  close  when  they  have  to.  It  is  to  their  credit  when 
it  lies  in  their  power  to  have  plenty.  I  have  seen  plenty  of  saints 
and  sinners  go  with  hardly  enough  to  eat  or  wear  to  get  out  of 
debt,  or  keep  out,  and  have  seen  both  classes  go  without  to  get 
a  few  hundred  dollars  saved  up  to  make  money  with;  but  to  go 
without  when  you  can  have  plenty  and  are  out  of  debt,  to  give  to 
men,  women  and  children,  of  all  classes  and  nationalities,  and  from 
your  own  free  will,  without  the  church  or  your  friends  or  your 
neighbors  knowing  of  it — I  cannot  help  thinking  such  work  will 
stand  the  test  of  the  judgment  fire  spoken  of  in  I  Cor.  3:13,  14: 
"And  the  fire  shall  try  every  man's  work;  of  what  sort1  it  is.  If 
any  man's  work  abide  which  he  hath  built  thereupon,  he  shall 
receive  a  reward."  Also  the  I5th  verse:  "If  any  man's  work 
shall  be  burned,  he  shall  suffer  loss :  but  he  himself  shall  be  saved : 
yet  so  as  by  fire."  We  must  have  no  other  motive  than  love.  There 
must  be  no  selfishness  about  it,  or  it  will  be  burned. 

Others  have  said  to  me:  "You  are  going  without  and  spend- 
ing your  time  on  those  who  are  not  worthy."  Again  I  could  do 
nothing  but  go  to  God's  Word,  where  he  tells  us  to  do  good  unto 
all  men,  and  as  the  word  tells  us  in  Matt.  5 :45 :  "That  ye  may 
be  the  children  of  your  Father  which  is  in  heaven:  for  he  maketh 
his  sun  to  rise  on  the  evil  and  on  the  good,  and  sendeth  rain  on  the 
just  and  on  the  unjust."  Does  not  that  mean  everyone — saint  and 
sinner?  Be  good  to  them  and  love  them,  whether  they  love  you 
or  not.  Some  have  said  to  me:  "I  love  everybody."  Yet  if  their 
enemy  came  along  they  would  not  do  anything  to  help  him  when 
God  has  told  us  not  to  say  we  love  in  words,  but  in  some  other 
way — in  some  kind  act  or  deed.  I  do  not  want  you,  my  dear  reader, 
to  think  I  blame  Mr.  Peterson  for  the  way  I  went  without  for 
others.  For  I  do  not.  It  was  impossible  for  me  to  carry,  on  my 
work  and  have  what  I  really  needed  myself.  More  than  one  precious 
soul  would  have  gone  hungry  and  cold  and  without  beds  if  I  had. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  221 

Only  one  winter  did  I  do  without  bedding,  and  that  only  for 
one  week. 

I  provided  beds  for  three  of  the  jail  boys  and  could  not  get 
them  work.  The  winter  was  so  cold  I  could  not  take  the  bedding 
from  them,  and  I  had  only  some  carpets  to  put  on  the  bed  springs, 
it  requiring  all  my  clothes  to  keep  warm.  It  was  the  only  time 
I  ever  suffered  cold  for  the  sake  of  others.  I  was  tempted  to  go 
and  get  in  bed  with  Mr.  Peterson,  but  had  I  done  so  he  would  have 
wanted  to  know  the  reason  why,  which  I  could  not  tell  him,  knowing 
he  would  not  like  it,  so  I  stood  it  the  best  I  could  till  I  secured 
work  for  them.  Mr.  Peterson  and  I  always  slept  in  different 
beds.  It  was  more  healthful  for  both,  we  could  rest  easier,  and 
as  my  work  at  home  and  in  the  mission  was  most  exacting,  I  could 
only  stand  it  with  complete  rest  at  night.  Even  then  I  broke  down 
under  the  burden,  and  two  years'  service  for  the  Lord  was  wasted. 
I  always  have  done  my  own  housework,  though  I  am  not  now  able 
to  be  a  soul-winner  and  do  my  own  work. 

The  little  things  often  cause  many  to  go  without  the  neces- 
saries of  life.  I  know  this  to  be  true.  I  have  watched  it  in  homes 
with  my  own  eyes.  One  family  I  have  in  mind  were  only  ordinary 
people,  not  very  well  off  in  this  world's  goods.  The  husband  was 
not  getting  more  than  half  wages.  I  stopped  there  one  Saturday.  The 
wife  was  baking  for  Sunday.  She  was  preparing  a  cake.  She  put 
in  three  eggs  I  observed,  though  I  only  use  one.  She  always  put 
an  egg  in  her  pancakes  for  breakfast,  while  I  never  use  any.  "Do 
you  think  I  will  go  without  for  others?"  she  asked.  I  saw  that 
very  woman  lying  on  the  floor  on  a  tick  of  straw.  The  mortgage 
had  taken  every  bit  of  furniture,  and  they  were  sitting  on  dry 
goods  boxes.  I  took  the  eggs  my  economy  made  possible  for 
me  to  take  to  her,  and  she  was  thankful  to  get  them.  One  day 
I  stopped  to  see  another  very  poor  family.  The  husband  was  sick. 
There  were  several  children,  and  the  wife  told  me  she  did  not 
know  what  to  do.  I  found  they  had  nothing  to  eat.  I  could  see 
they  should  not  wait  for  me  to  go  to  the  county  for  help.  They 
were  already  hungry.  I  went  to  my  groceryman  and  '  sent  them 
some  groceries.  I  went  back  in  a  couple  of  hours  to  see  if  the 
groceries  had  come,  and  found  the  wife  peeling  potatoes  for  sup- 
per. If  you  could  only  have  seen  the  potato  peelings — almost  a 
quarter  of  an  inch  thick.  I  looked  at  the  potatoes  and  then  at 
her,  and  was  about  to  pass  a  remark  on  the  reason  of  her  pov- 
erty, but  on  second  thought  concluded  it  best  not  to.  The  waste  of 
those  potatoes  was  shameful.  I  have  been  there  often,  and  have 
seen  bread  enough,  old  and  dry,  to  make  boiled  bread  and  milk  for 
supper,  while  the  county  was  helping  them.  Each  time  I  called 


222  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

some  new  waste  or  extravagance  was  in  evidence.  Once  they  had 
left  the  table,  and  the  wife  was  clearing  away  the  dishes,  when  I 
saw  her  take  good  scraps  and  throw  them  to  the  dog — enough, 
with  a  few  potatoes,  an  onion,  and  a  little  flour,  to  make  a  stew 
for  supper.  The  well-to-do  I  find  often  eat  what  the  shiftless  throw 
to  the  dog.  Little  things,  I  admit,  but  too  often  the  cause  of  inno- 
cent children  going  hungry. 

I  had  a  good  many  poor  that  winter  eating  at  my  house,  and 
one  month  I  was  going  to  be  out  of  sugar.  It  only  took  $i  worth 
a  month  for  us,  and  the  only  way  I  could  keep  within  the  hypo- 
thetical appropriation  was  to  do  without.  I  had  not  used  a  teaspoon- 
ful  of  sugar  for  two  weeks,  and  had  gone  without  other  things 
that  month,  when  one  morning  a  sister  in  Christ  came  to  the  house 
and  told  me  she  had  not  used  sugar  in  her  coffee  for  a  week,  and 
was  unable  to  get  any,  as  her  husband  was  out  of  work.  She 
asked  me  if  I  could  give  her  some.  I  told  her  my  experience.  It 
did  not  seem  to  make  any  difference  with  her.  She  wanted  me  to 
give  her  a  little,  so  I  did.  After  she  went  away  I  sat  down  and 
had  a  good  cry.  I  felt  I  could  not  go  longer  without  sugar,  so  I 
searched  God's  word  on  this  line  to  see  what  he  said  about  it.  This 
woman  had  better  clothes  to  wear  than  I,  and  I  could  not  under- 
stand it.  I  long  ago  found  the  best  way  was  to  consult  God  when 
I  was  perplexed,  and  I  found  the  answer  in  Prov.  18:9:  "He  also 
that  is  slothful  5n  his  work  is  brother  to  him  that  is  a  great 
waster."  There,  I  said,  I  see.  What  is  the  use  of  working  if  we 
do  not  know  how  to  be  careful  with  it  after  we  get  it?  That  is 
why  there  are  so  many  who  have  nothing  and  the  reason  they  do 
not  do  as  God  has  told  them  in  Prov.  3  19 :  "Honor  the  Lord  with 
thy  substance,  and  with  the  first  fruits  of  all  thine  increase."  I 
know  thousands  of  children  of  God  who  live  up  everything  they 
make  and  never  think  of  the  Lord.  Then  it  is  not  long  till  in  place 
of  an  increase  it  is  a  decrease.  Their  barns  are  empty.  If  they 
would  live  in  the  pth  verse,  then  God  would  bless  them,  and  they 
could  live  in  the  loth  verse:  "So  shall  thy  barns  be  filled  with 
plenty,  and  thy  presses  shall  burst  out  with  new  wine."  In  Prov. 
10:5  is  another  reason  of  so  much  poverty:  "He  that  gathereth  in 
summer  is  a  wise  son :  but  he  that  sleepeth  in  harvest  is  a  son  that 
causeth  shame."  Or  they  will  put  on  style  if  it  takes  every  dollar 
they  have,  and  then  before  spring  they  are  starving.  How  sad 
that  this  is  true!  I  have  had  to  help  many  fathers  who  will  not 
think  of  providing  for  their  families.  God  tells  us  in  Prov.  13  :22 : 
"A  good  man  leaveth  an  inheritance  to  his  children's  children: 
and  the  wealth  of  the  sinner  is  laid  up  for  the  just."  If  those  who 
do  not  love  God  could  believe  these  words  they  would  be  worried 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  223 

more  about  their  wealth  than  they  are,  and  if  they  believed  it,  it 
would  help  them  to  be  more  liberal  than  they  are.  They  would  not 
try  to  gather  together  so  much  wealth,  knowing  the  just  would 
get  it  after  all.  God  knows  how  to  provide  for  his  own,  and  he 
will  if  we  do  our  part,  and  walk  in  all  his  commandments. 

I  could  fill  pages  of  my  book  on  these  little  things,  which  the 
children  of  God  do  not  pay  attention  to  because  they  are  small.  How 
true  God's  word  is  when  he  tells  us  so  many  will  strain  at  a  gnat ! 
Matt.  23:24:  "Ye  blind  guides,  which  strain  at  a  gnat,  and  swal- 
low a  camel."  They  pay  attention  to  things  that  do  not  amount 
to  much,  while  things  they  thought  did  were  but  little  things  in 
the  sight  of  God.  If  we  have  not  a  clear  spiritual  sight,  we  cannot 
see  afar  off,  and  are  sure  to  make  things  seem  big  that  are  really 
little — and  vice  versa.  The  widow's  mite  seemed  as  small  as  a 
gnat  to  the  world,  but  not  to  God.  Oh,  do  not  overlook  the  little 
things !  Those  who  will  not  do  the  little  things  God  tells  them 
to  do,  nor  stop  doing  those  little  things  they  ought  not  to  do,  are 
the  ones  who  swallow  camels  and  strain  at  gnats.  In  the  little 
things  lies  the  mystery  of  God,  and  if  we  prosper  in  spiritual 
things  we  must  heed  them.  When  the  Holy  Spirit  began  to  talk 
dress  to  me  it  was  a  little  thing  here  and  a  little  thing  there,  till 
I  had  nothing  of  style  left.  I  hadn't  been  converted  a  month  before 
he  called  my  attention  to  my  bracelets  and  a  heavy  gold  watch  chain, 
which  were  all  the  style  those  days.  Someone  might  wonder  how 
the  Spirit  did  this.  I  will  tell  you.  All  at  once  my  attention  was 
drawn  to  them.  I  noticed  how  bright  they  looked  when  I  testi- 
fied, or  made  a  motion  with  my  hands.  They  seemed  so  bright  they 
bothered  me.  There  hadn't  been  a  word  said  about  jewelry.  Every- 
one who  could  afford  it  was  wearing  a  few  pounds  of  it.  I  could 
not  imagine  why  I  should  feel  as  I  did.  It  would  not  have  been 
such  a  mystery  to  me  if  anyone  had  talked  to  me  about  it.  After 
it  began  to  bother  me,  the  subject  never  left  my  mind  for  two 
weeks,  when  I  got  a  black  cord  for  my  w*atch  and  took  off  the 
bracelets.  The  Spirit  next  drew  my  attention  to  a  plush  coat  I 
had  paid  $21  for  the  July  before.  I  bought  it  cheap  at  a  sale..  It 
was  a  beautiful  coat.  I  had  a  time  with  that  coat.  The  Holy 
Spirit  condemned  .me  for  buying  it.  God  tells  us  to  use  reason. 
The  coat  did  not  bother  me  till  winter  came  on.  One  morning 
when  we  were  serving  coffee  and  bread  and  butter  in  the  basement 
of  the  church  for  poor  men,  after  breakfast,  at  the  prayer  meeting, 
I  knelt  by  a  hungry  man  to  talk  with  him  about  his  soul.  I  could 
not  help  noticing  his  shoes.  One  foot  was  on  the  ground.  I  could 
see  he  was  affected  all  through  the  meeting,  and  when  I  asked  those 
to  kneel  who  wished  prayers  he  knelt,  and  just  as  I  was  going  over 


224  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

to  him  I  noticed  his  shoes.  I  was  not  thinking  of  what  I  had  on, 
for  in  "a  meeting  I  never  thjnk  of  myself.  The  Spirit  carries  me 
away  and  I  am  soon  lost  in  a  whirlpool  of  thought.  To  my  sur- 
prise my  coat  seemed  richer  to  me  at  that  moment  than  ever  before, 
and  the  same  feeling  came  to  me  I  experiencd  with  the  bracelets. 
He  said  to  me :  "If  you  had  paid  less  for  your  coat  you  could  get 
this  boy  a  pair  of  shoes.  You  are  a  nice  Christian  to  kneel  here 
with  that  rich  wrap  on  while  the  hem  of  the  garment  touches  a 
bare  foot!  That  is  not  much  like  Christ.  He  had  nowhere  to  lay 
his  head.  This  boy  has  no  father's  house  to  go  to,  as  had  the  prodigal 
son.  He  has  spent  all  his  substance  in  riotous  living,  and  is  now 
literally  out  in  the  cold."  The  Holy  Spirit  seemed  to  be  talking 
to  me  more  than  to  him.  The  thoughts  continued  to  come  to  me. 
"If  his  mother  was  in  your  place,  kneeling  by  her  boy,  what  would 
she  say?  'Come  on  home,  my  boy.'  She  would  get  him  a  pair  of 
shoes  the  first  thing."  Then  the  question  came,  "Do  you  love  your 
neighbor  as  yourself  ?"  and  I  answered :  "Lord,  you  know  I  can- 
not take  him  home,  and  I  cannot  get  him  a  pair  of  shoes."  Then 
came  my  coat  again.  "You  could  have  gotten  one  that  would  have 
looked  nice  and  kept  you  just  as  warm  for  half  that  "money."  I 
started  for  home.  My  heart  was  sad.  At  last  a  thought  came  to 
me — how  I  could  fix  it  with  the  Holy  Spirit,  for  he  was  still  after 
me.  I  said:  "Lord,  if  you  will  let  me  wear  the  coat,  I  promise  to 
wear  it  long  enough  to  get  the  money's  worth  out  of  it."  I  argued 
the  question :  I  did  not  care  how  often  the  fashion  changed ;  I 
would  still  wear  it.  And  I  did,  till  Sister  Wortham  said:  "Sister 
Peterson,  that  coat  looks  awful."  She  went  and  begged  one  for 
me,  and  I  wtore  it  till  I  ran  across  a  cheap  second-hand  one,  and 
I  bought  it  and  gave  the  one  she  begged  for  me  away.  I  took  the 
back  of  the  plush  coat  and  had  a  real  nice  cape  made  of  it.  I  had 
worn  it  only  one  winter  till  a  dear  sister  about  55  years  old  lost  her 
husband.  He  had  been  killed.  She  had  no  wrap  fit  to  wear  to 
the  funeral,  so  I  told  her  she  could  wear  my  cape.  I  just  loaned  it 
to  her,  for  I  felt  I  could  not  give  it  to  her.  She  hadn't  a  Relative 
who  %  could  afford  to  get  her  a  wrap,  and  I  said  to  myself,  I  can 
get  along  better  without  the  cape  than  she,  so  I  told  4ier  she  could 
keep  it.  I  was  some  time  without  a  cape,  but  the  blessing  of  the 
Lord  has  often  kept  his  children  warm. 

This  cape  the  Lord  blessed  to  my  use,  and  blessed  it  to 
the  use  of  others.  That  was  thirteen  years  ago,  and  history  con- 
vinces me  the  Holy  Spirit  led  me.  The  morning  I  knelt  by  that 
young  man,  after  I  had  promised  the  Spirit  I  would  not  change 
with  the  styles,  but  wfould  get  the  money's  worth  out  of  the  coat, 
the  Spirit  ceased  to  trouble  me.  I  say  the  time  never  was  when 
the  Spirit  led  so  plainly  as  to-day.  I  never  have  been  mistaken.  In 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  225 

one  of  my  healing  experiences  I  took  the  blessing  of  God  for  the 
leading  of  the  Spirit.  One  morning  bright  and  early  Sister  Swan 
came  after  me  to  go  and  see  an  eighteen-year-old  girl.  As  I  knelt 
by  her  bed  and  prayed  the  Lord  seemed  to  open  the  windows*  of 
heaven,  letting  down  a  blessing  upon  us  like  the  bursting  of  a 
water-cloud.  I  could  not  help  but  think  he  would  raise  her  up. 
She  was  a  beautiful  girl,  an  only  child,  and  was  wonderfully  gifted  in 
music.  I  mistook  this  blessing  for  the  answer  to  prayer  and  told 
the  mother  her  child  would  live.  Sister  Swan  knew  the  Lord  had 
used  me  as  an  instrument  before.  She  told  them  they  could  depend 
upon  what  I  said.  I  left  the  house  filled  with  this  blessing,  and 
the  next  morning  (returning  to  visit  the  child),  as  I  got  off  the  car 
on  Curtis  street,  they  living  at  Twenty-sixth  and  Arapahoe,  the 
feeling  came  all  over  me  that  I  was  wrong.  I  stopped  and  lis- 
tened to  what  the  Spirit  said,  and  asked :  "Lord,  could  I  have  been 
mistaken?"  The  feeling  was  so  plain  that  before  I  got  near  the 
house  I  looked  to  see  if  the  crape  really  was  on  the  door — and 
sure  enough  it  was.  I  could  not  go  another  step.  How  could  I 
face  that  heart-broken  mother  after  I  had  given  her  such  hope?  I 
could  not.  I  turned  back  and  went  home.  Oh,  what  a  lesson  I 
learned!  I  have  never  made  a  mistake  in  healing  since.  One  has 
to  learn  how  to  be  led  by  the  Spirit.  No  one  gets  the  leading  of 
the  Spirit  at  conversion.  It  was  a  great  deal  harder  for  me  to 
get  the  Spirit  to  lead  me  and  reveal  things  to  me  and  to  manifest 
himself  to  me  than  to  get  my  sins  forgiven.  It  only  took  me 
twelve  hours  to  be  convicted,  converted  and  to  have  the  evidence 
that  my  sins  were  forgiven,  but  some  way  I  could  not  get  the 
strength.  I  did  not  know  what  was  the  matter.  I  tried  to  help 
myself  and  failed.  I  did  not  make  such  an  effort  to  be  converted, 
neither  was  it  such  a  struggle  to  be  sanctified  as  to  get  the  Spirit, 
for  I  labored  and  plead  and  went  without  eating  or  sleeping  for 
two  weeks.  The  pleadings  were  not  for  forgiveness,  but  for  help, 
and  the  Spirit  came  and  has  continued  to  lead  me  ever  since.  I 
never  knew  what  this  passage  of  scripture  meant  till  then :  "Repent 
ye  therefore,  and  be  converted,  that  your  sins  may  be  blotted  out, 
when  the  times  of  refreshing  shall  come  from  the  presence  of 
the  Lord"  (Acts  3:19);  and  when  the  refreshing  did  come  I 
thought  I  was  converted  over  again.  It  seemed  so  blessed  to  be 
forgiven,  yet  the  refreshing  from  the  Holy  Spirit  surely  was  as  the 
poet  said,  "better  farther  on."  The  Spirit  came  to  lead  me,  but 
not  to  take  up  his  abode  in  me,  for  I  had  not  been  made  clean 
enough  through  the  truth,  but,  oh,  how  glad  was  I  to  have  him 
help  and  lead  me!  In  very  truth  he  has  been  my  faithful  guide 
all  these  years,  leading  me  into  the  truth.  "Howbeit,  when  he,  the 
Spirit  of  truth  is  come,  he  will  guide  you  into  all  truth:  for  he 

15 


226  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

shall  not  speak  of  himself;  but  whatsoever  he  shall  hear,  that 
shall  he  speak:  and  he  will  shew  you  things  to  come."  (John  16:13.) 
Most  all  of  the  children  of  God  stop  at  conversion,  and  never  do 
get  the  refreshing  Holy  Ghost  to  lead  and  teach  them  and  show 
them  the  spiritual  meaning  of  the  scriptures.  If  you  get  the  Spirit 
to  lead  you,  the  scripture  has  so  much  more  weight  to  convict  you 
of  right  and  wrong,  more  than  just  to  live  a  life  of  faith.  I  tell 
you,  my  dear  reader,  the  Spirit  will  show  you,  in  accordance  with 
the  promise  in  the  I3th  verse,  if  you  will  only  learn  how  to  be 
led,  just  as  a  child  looks  to  its  mother  to  lead  it  when  it  is 
learning  to  walk.  You  must  ask  him  for  the  Spirit  and  not  rest  till 
you  get  it.  How  can  you  ask  him  to  give  you  the  Spirit  till  you 
are  converted?  You  are  not  his  child  in  a  spiritual  sense,  and  all 
you  can  ask  for  is  forgiveness.  After  that  is  when  you  must  ask. 
Do  not  stop  till  you  get  the  Spirit  to  lead  you.  Upon  being  con- 
verted, I  asked  four  weeks  before  receiving  the  power.  "If  ye  then, 
being  evil,  know  how  to  give  good  gifts  unto  your  children :  how 
much  more  shall  your  heavenly  Father  give  the  Holy  Spirit  to 
them  that  ask  him?"  (Luke  11:13.)  He  will  lead  you  so  plain. 

Several  years  after  the  Holy  Spirit  talked  to  me  about  my  coat 
I  was  asked  about  my  hat.  It  was  the  first  year  in  the  Haymarket 
Mission,  in  the  spring  of  the  year.  I  bought  a  lovely,  dainty  turban 
hat.  It  was  not  flashy,  neither  was  it  expensive.  Little  did  I  think 
the  Holy  Spirit  would  convict  me  in  that  way,  for  I  was  very 
careful  about  my  buying  after  the  experience  with  the  coat.  I  had 
worn  that  hat  several  times,  when  one  Sunday  morning  in  the  class 
meeting  the  hat  question  came  into  my  mind.  I  could  tell  by  the 
feeling  in  my  heart  it  was  not  an  evil  spirit  that  brought  the 
thoughts  to  me.  Neither  had  anything  been  said  about  it,  as  far 
as  I  knew.  At  that  time  people  in  the  Haymarket  had  not*  gotten  to 
the  point  where  they  had  nothing  to  do  but  find  fault.  This  species 
crept  in  several  months  afterward.  When  the  Holy  Spirit  bring; 
anything  to  our  minds  we  might  as  well  try  to  get  away  from  our- 
selves as  from  the  convincing  power  of  the  Spirit.  You  may  turn 
a  deaf  ear  to  the  convictions,  and  in  time  they  lose  their  power 
on  you,  but  if  you  stop  and  think  you  will  be  led  in  a  way  you 
can  understand.  When  the  Spirit  comes  to  the  mmd  and  con- 
science and  heart,  the  impressions  are  perfect.  There  is  no  one 
so  simple,  or  so  highly  educated,  or  so  down  in  the  depths  of  sin, 
but  will  receive  an  everlasting,  eternal  impression,  whether  you 
heed  it  or  not.  And  if  we  do  not  act  upon  the  deep  convictions, 
I  firmly  believe  wfc  will  emphatically  remember  the  workings  of  the 
Holy  Spirit  upon  our  lives  here  on  earth  after  we  have  been  in 
eternity  thousands  of  years,  whether  it  be  in  hell  to  regret  that 
we  did  not  yield  to  the  influence  to  be  saved,  or  in  the  endless. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  227 

joys  of  eternity.     We  need  the  power  of  the  Spirit  in  our  Christian 
lives  to  convict  and  impress  us  as  much  as  we  need  to  be  convicted 
of  sin  before  conversion.     These  impressions  are  more  convincing 
to  me  now  than  years  ago.     I  have  tried  to  get  away  from  them 
by  reasoning  with  the  Spirit,  saying:     "Lord,  you  know  everybody 
is  wearing  hats  like  this  one,  and  I  did  not  pay  much  for  it."    Then 
I  used  to  say:     "Lord,  you  know  I  am  not  proud."     I  never  had 
the  worldly  pride  to  overcome.     Looks   or  dress  never  made  me 
feel  myself  better  than  others.     The  Lord  knew  I  was  not  making 
an  idol  of  anything.     I   held  onto  that  hat  to  the  third  or  fourth 
Sunday,  and  with  all   my  reasoning  I  could  not  drive  the  convic- 
tion away.     So  many  people  have  said  to  me  that  they  never  had 
leadings  like   that,   and   nothing  ever  bothered  them   in   that   way. 
My  answer  is :     Perhaps  you  have  not  received  the  Spirit  to  lead 
you,   and  you   are  going  on   with  the   faith   that  God   for  Christ's 
sake   has    forgiven   your    sins,    and   you   are   walking   as   men,    and 
not  spiritually ;  you  are  led  by  the  influence  of  earthly  things,  or 
the  carnal   mind.     The   question   may   be   asked,   How   are   we   to 
know  when  we  have  the  Spirit?     One  way  is  to  never  stop  asking 
till  you   do  know;   another  way  is  by   feeling.     You   know   when 
the  weather  is  warm  or  cold.     There  is  a  feeling  in  you  that  re- 
sponds to  the  different  powers  and  causes  you  to  act  accordingly, 
whether   you   take    an   overcoat   or   an    umbrella.      Now,   remember 
I    was   willing   all   these   weeks   that   the   thoughts   about   my   hat 
should  stay  if  they  were  of  God.     I   would   say :     "Lord,  if  it  is 
your  will  I  will  take  off  the  hat."     I  could  not  see  why  I  should, 
but  those  lavender  morning  glories  peeping  out  of  the  black  folds 
of  lace  over  my  hat  had  been  in  my  mind  so  long  that  it  seemed 
they  had  almost  grown  down  over  my  forehead,  and  were  hanging 
thus  before  my  eyes,  they  had  become  so  plain  in  my  mind.    I  hadn't 
said  anything  to  anyone,  not  even  my  child,  but  this  Sunday  morn- 
ing was  too  much  for  me.    I  said  to  myself,  I  will  fix  those  morning 
glories  when  I  get  home,  and  the  first  thing  I  did,  before  setting 
lunch  on  the  table,  was  to  get  the  scissors  and  cut  every  morning 
glory  out  from  among  the  lace.     If  you  could  have  seen  the  sur- 
prised  look  on   my  little  girl's  face.     She  was  a   little  past  seven, 
and  knew  I  was  subject  to  those  ways  that  seemed  different  from 
many,  but  she  could  not  see  why  I  cut  the  flowers  off  my  hat.     I 
told  her  why,  and  such  a  satisfaction  came  to  me.     The  Lord  help- 
ing me,    I    said,   they   shall   never   go   back   again — or   any   others. 
This  same  summer  I  got  a  black  dress.     There  was  a  satin  stripe 
in  the  dress;   another  stripe  was  open  work,  which  made  it  cool. 
From  the  time  I  put  it  on  I  was  convicted  that  it  was  too  rich  for 
me  to  wear  among  the  people  I  was  working  with,  those  who  were 
going  without  the  necessaries  of  life.     Again  I  promised  the  Lord 


228  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

I  would  never  buy  another  dress  like  that,  and  I  never  have.  If 
the  Lord  had  not  trimmed  me  down  in  my  dress  as  he  did  I 
never  could  have  done  the  work  I  have.  I  could  not  even  wear 
plumes  on  my  winter  hat.  The  last  thing  I  stopped  wearing  was 
frizzes.  I  had  worn  them  so  long  that  it  was  a  few  weeks  before 
I  could  comb  them  back.  At  that  time  I  attended  a  holiness 
meeting  in  the  Free  Methodist  church  once  a  week,  and  you  know 
they  dress  very  plainly.  Some  way,  I  could  not  testify  till  I  raised 
my  hat  and  put  back  my  frizzes.  I  did  this  several  times,  and  said 
to  myself:  "If  it  is  not  right  to  testify  here  and  wear  frizzes,  it 
is  not  right  anywhere."  This  was  the  last  thing  I  had  to  overcome. 
When  the  Lord  told  me  to  lay  off  anything  he  never  led  me  to 
talk  about  it,  but  just  to  obey  the  Spirit.  I  .always  prayed  the 
Lord  not  to  let  me  be  a  crank,  for  I  had  seen  cranks  of  various 
kinds,  and  the  very  worst  are  religious  cranks.  The  devil  uses 
them,  accomplishing  more  harm  than  a  little.  It  is  all  right  to 
be  a  bible  crank,  but  be  sure  you-  do  not  get  off  the  word  of  your 
testimony  and  the  blood.  Do  not  get  off  on  this  or  that  doctrine, 
or  this  or  that  hobby,  always  telling  someone  the  Lord  wills  that 
they  go  to  this  or  that  one  about  what  they  shall  or  shall  not  do, 
but  ask  God  to  help  that  one  to  listen  to  the  Spirit,  and  he  will 
be  led  into  all  truth.  Then  it  will  be  a  thorough  work,  not.  man's. 
I  have  always  prayed  that  I  might  not  get  it  into  my  head  that 
because  the  Lord  wanted  me  to  take  off  these  things,  he  wanted 
everybody  else  to,  or  that  they  were  not  Christians,  or  were  on 
their  way  to  hell ;  that  I  might  not  go  about  the  church  trying  to 
get  everybody  undressed  to  my  idea.  He  heard  my  prayer,  and 
filled  my  mind  with  more  important  things — how  to  teach  people 
to  be  led  by  the  Spirit,  to  get  them  to  appreciate  the  deeper  things 
of  life,  to  lay  aside  evil  speaking.  The  Lord  showed  me  if  the 
inside  was  clean  the  outside  would  soon  right  itself.  I  have 
found  this  to  be  true.  It  did  not  take  the  Lord  quite  ten  hours  to 
save  me,  and  get  me  to  confess  him  before  men,  but  it  took  him 
all  these  years  to  trim  me  up  along  the  lines  I  have  mentioned  and 
get  me  where  I  was  complete  in  the  work  of  sanctification.  But 
oh,  the  experiences  he  sent  to  take  the  conceit  out  of  me,  subduing 
the  spiritual  pride  that  would  have  crippled  me  spiritually  for  life. 
Someone  might  say  I  was  not  sanctified  till  I  laid  aside  the  style  of 
the .  world.  I  knew  sanctification  had  begun  in  my  life,  and  that 
if  I  walked  in  the  light  of  this  blessing  he  surely  would  lead  me 
to  lay  aside  these  things  if  it  was  his  wish.  And  it  did  not  take 
him  long  to  teach  me  not  to  spend  money  foolishly  and  be  willing 
to  be  led  on  the  money  line  as  well  as  in  ottier  things.  I  must 
tell  you  what  a  simple  thing  he  took  to  show  me.  I  had  my  picture 
taken  to  send  to  Norton  Center,  with  the  biography  of  my  life,  so 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  22Q 

my  niece  persuaded  me  to  have  my  hair  crimped.  I  told  her  it  was 
all  right  for  the  picture,  but  I  would  not  wear  it  that  way.  She 
wanted  me  to  wear  some  of  her  jewelry.  I  told  her  I  could  not. 
She  prevailed  on  me  to  get  two  roses,  one  for  my  hair  and  one 
for  my  throat.  We  stopped  on  Sixteenth  street  and  bought  two 
for  a  quarter.  When  We  got  to  the  gallery  she  arranged  them 
for  me.  I  had  my  picture  taken  and  we  were  on  our  way  home, 
never  dreaming  I  had  offended  the  Lord  in  what  I  did.  It  is  the 
Lord's  plan  to  let  us  have  all  kinds  of  experiences  in  order  that 
\ve  may  know  how  he  would  have  us  live  in  this  world.  Many 
times  when  men  would  condemn  us,  God  knows  it  is  lack  of  experi- 
ence. God  will  even  permit  us  to  become  weak  in  certain  things, 
in  order  to  teach  us  some  important  lesson.  The  Lord  permitted 
the  devil  to  sift  Peter,  and  Christ  prayed  for  him,  that  his  faith 
fail  not,  and  as  he  prayed  for  Peter  so  is  he  at  the  right  hand  of 
God  interceding  for  us,  that  we  fail  not.  As  he  tells  us  in  Matt. 
9:14:  "But  go  ye  and  learn  what  that  meaneth,  I  will  have  mercy, 
and  not  sacrifice."  How  many  of  us  have  to  learn  the  bible  mean- 
ing of  mercy !  If  this  were  really  learned  there  might  be  more 
mercy  shown  one  to  another,  in  little  as  well  as  big  things.  The 
painter,  in  learning  to  mix  his  paints,  has  wasted  much  material,  for 
which  he  is  sorry.  So  it  is  with  every  true  Christian  who  makes 
mistakes  and  asks  God  to  forgive  'him.  If  I  should  fail  in  baking  a 
batch  of,  bread  when  learning,  would  the  one  who  saw  me  fail 
harshly  criticise  me  therefor?  Your  own  reason  would  tell  you 
different.  You  would  merely  say:  "Do  you  know,  my  sister  or 
brother,  she  is  only  learning."  No  one  would  think  of  speaking 
evil  of  her.  We  do  not  show  as  much  consideration  for  these 
young  Christians  as  we  do  with  a  batch  of  bread.  Why?  Because 
we  have  not  learned  to  show!  mercy,  and  use  the  same  reason  and 
common-sense  on  Christian  lines  we  do  in  worldly  affairs.  At  the 
age  of  ten  you  are  not  a  very  old  Christian.  How  much  do  we 
expect  of  a  child  of  fifteen?  A  little  more  than  we  do  at  ten,  for 
they  have  had  five  years  in  which  to  learn. 

My  niece  and  I  had  not  gotten  five  blocks  from  the  gallery  when 
the  Lord  taught  me  a  lesson  by  a  very  simple  thing.  A  little  girl 
ten  years  of  age  called  to  me  as  I  was  passing  her  mama's  house 
and  asked  me  if  I  would  come  in.  Her  mother  was  sick.  It  was 
getting  late,  but  I  went  in,  and  her  mother  told  me  she  did  not 
know  what  w*as  to  become  of  them.  She  told  me  her  husband  had 
been  out  of  work  for  some  time;  she  was  sick.  With  tears  in  her 
eyes  she  said  to  look  in  the  cupboard.  As  I  opened  the  door  I 
found  nothing  but  two  cold  potatoes  for  her  supper.  The  quarter 
I  had  spent  for  the  two  roses  struck  me  like  a  cannon-ball.  It 
would  have  meant  much  to  this  family,  but  I  had  foolishly  spent  it. 


230  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

I  said:  "Lord,  I  will  make  up  for  that.  I  will  give  them  50 
cents  instead,  and  in  the  morning  I  will  go  to  the  court  house  and 
see  the  county  commissioners  about  them."  Still  I  could  not  feel 
right  about  the  25  cents.  It  being  so  small  a  thing,  it  impressed  me 
more  and  more,  and  even  after  I  had  talked  to  the  Lord  about 
money  matters. 

The  time  of  the  Union  Pacific  strike,  when  we  had  several 
hundred  dollars  laid  by,  we  thought  of  fixing  up  the  house  and 
putting  a  few  hundred  in  the  bank.  I  asked  the  Holy  Spirit  to 
tell  me  in  what  bank  to  put  the  money.  I  went  to  a  well-to-do  bus- 
iness family  and  asked  the  lady  which  she  considered  the  safest 
bank.  She  said  -her  husband  did  all  his  business  with  the  German 
national,  and  he  thought  it  was  all  right.  I  started  for  this  bank, 
but  all  the  way  down  Larimer  I  was  listening  to  the  Holy  Spirit, 
and  I  knew  he  would  lead  me  if  I  trusted  him.  I  had  not  gone  far 
when  the  Holy  Spirit  said :  "You  go  to  the  First  National."  I 
replied :  "Lord,  is  that  your  will  ?"  I  went  another  block,  when 
the  First  National  was  again  given  to  me.  I  deposited  the  money 
there  and  felt  satisfied.  All  the  people  of  Denver  know  what 
happened  to  the  German  national  bank,  and  several  others.  It 
closed,  and  depositors  lost  their  money.  Nothing  can  convince  me 
that  the  Holy  Spirit  will  not  lead  us  even  in  the  most  trivial  things. 


I 


CHAPTER   XIX. 
WISH   to   speak  of  our  first  meeting  in  the  mountains. 

"The  revival  meetings  at  Spring  Valley  will  continue 
until  Thursday  evening  of  this  week,  after  which  Mrs. 
Peterson  will  return  to  Founder.  She  met  with  the  appro- 
bation of  all  who  heard  her  here.  It  is  possible  that  she 
will  visit  Castle  Rock  for  a  short  time  in  the  near  future. 
Mrs.  Peterson  is  highly  recommended  as  an  earnest,  active 
worker,  and  is  having  great  success  in  her  work." — News- 
paper Clipping. 

When  my  niece  and  I  returned  from  the  meetings  after  the 
holidays- — it  was  the  latter  part  of  January — we  went  running  up 
the  Mission  steps  holding  each  other's  hands,  seeing  who  could  go 
the  fastest,  and  laughing  heartily,  so  you  would  hardly  think  the 
Holy  Spirit  could  come  with  force  enough  to  stop  us.  We  must 
have  been  within  five  steps  of  the  top  when  he  met  us.  My  niece 
detected  the  power — pressing  us  to  go  back.  Without  a  word  we 
both  stopped  and  looked  at  one  another.  I  never  had  such  fear 
take  hold  of  me.  It  was  something  like  going  through  the  woods, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  23! 

with  the  feeling  that  something  would  jump  out  and  catch  you.  I 
could  not  imagine  what  was  the  cause  of  this  peculiar  feeling.  As 
we  stood  there  looking  at  one  another  I  said:  "Jennie,  what  shall 
we  do?"  I  knew  the  Lord  had  stopped  us  from  going  up  the 
steps,  but  when  she  told  me  how  the  fear  came  over  her  that  sur- 
prised me  all  the  more.  "Aunt  Ray,"  my  niece  replied,  "I  do  not 
believe  the  Lord  wants  us  to  go  up  any  farther."  Like  most  people, 
we  waited  a  while  and  concluded  it  would  be  all  right  for  us  to 
go  up,  even  if  we  did  not  go  again.  In  place  of  obeying  the  Spirit 
and  turning  back,  we  went  on,  both  knowing  the  Lord  had  told  us 
to  leave  the  Mission.  The  Lord  still  continued  to  bless  us  in  the 
meetings  till  I  got  notice  to  stop  the  wagon.  Then  we  thought  of 
the  evening  eight  months  before,  and  we  realized  that  that  was 
the  time  when  we  should  have  left  the  Mission. 

My  niece  is  not  satisfied  with  my  account  of  this  experience,  and 
wishes  to  give  her  testimony  in  regard  to  the  Lord  leading  us  out 
of  the  Haymarket  Mission.  I  grant  her  request.  At  that  time  her 
name  was  Jennie  Wild : 

"As  my  aunt  says,  I  am  not  quite  satisfied  with  the  story  of 
the  dear  Lord  leadiyg  us  out  of  the  Haymarket  Mission.  I  hardly 
tliink  I  could  rest  without  saying  something  about  it.  Those  who 
were  against  my  aunt  thought  my  testimony  did  not  amount  to 
much,  often  saying  to  me:  'You  would  stand  up  for  your  aunt  if 
she  were  in  the  wrong.'  You  see  they  were  so  determined  to  down 
her,  they  even  went  so  far  as  to  question  my  word  and  honor  as 
a  Christian,  when  God  knows  I  would  not  think  of  perjury,  even  for 
my  own  mother.  Thank  God,  he  knows  my  heart,  and  knows  that 
I  did  then,  and  do  now,  love  him  with  all  my  mind,  heart,  soul 
and  strength,  and  that  I  try  hard  to  love  my  neighbor  as  myself. 

"I  know  from  my  own  feelings  and  leadings — not  by  my  aunt's 
leadings — that  the  Holy  Spirit  led  me  as  well  as  her  to  leave  the 
Haymarket  Mission,  and  we  both  disobeyed  to  our  sorrow.  If  I 
had  only  obeyed  the  leading  my  aunt  would  not  have  suffered  as 
she  did,  and  as  for  me,  God  only  knows  what  I  suffered.  It  seemed 
I  could  not  get  hold  of  God  as  she  did,  and,  oh,  how  near  I  came 
to  backsliding,  when  I  found  Christians  would  do  like  that!  I 
did  not  want  anything  to  do  with  them,  and  I  do  not  know  what 
would  have  become  of  me  had  it  not  been  for  the  heroic  stand  of 
my  aunt.  What  could  I  do  but  follow?  And  how  I  do  thank 
God  my  aunt  did  as  she  did.  Why?  Because  I  have  learned  it 
was  the  bible  way.  The  Lord  did  not  want  her  to  suffer  as  she 
did,  and  that  is  why  he  came  to  us  in  January  as  we  were  going 
up  the  Mission  steps.  Oh,  if  we  only  could  learn  to  obey  when 
he  comes  as  plainly  as  he  did  to  us !  Aunt  had  to  suffer  this  because 
of  disobedience. 


232  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

"I  was  living  with  my  aunt  at  the  time  of  the  trial,  and  knew 
she  was  a  Christian  in  every  sense  of  the  word,  and  the  first  and 
only  one  I  ever  saw  who  actually  lived  a  sanctified  life.  I  never 
saw  her  angry  but  once,  and  she  can  tell  you  about  that.  Not  once 
did  I  ever  hear  her  speak  evil  of  anyone.  She  always  had  an 
excuse  ready  for  those  who  did  wrong,  and  at  the  time  of  the 
trial  I  never  heard  her  abuse  one  of  her  enemies,  even  while  she 
was  going  through  such  terrible  suffering.  As  did  the  Son  of 
God  through  his  sufferings  on  the  cross,  she  prayed  for  them. 
It  does  not  seem  possible  for  one  to  get  so  filled  with  the  love  of 
God  that  right  in  the  midst  of  her  suffering  she  could  pray  for 
her  enemies.  But  I  was  an  eye-witness  that  she  did,  and  I  am 
proud  to-day  to  call  her  aunt,  after  she  stood  as  Daniel  did,  nothing 
but  a  hero  for  God.  I  am  glad  to  be  the  niece  of  one  who  has 
been  such  a  hero  during  the  six  years  I  have  been  in  Denver,  and, 
almost  three  with  her;  yes,  with  her,  almost  as  her  own  shadow. 
I  wonder  what  my  enemies  would  have  thought  of  this  living  testi- 
mony at  the  time  of  my  aunt's  trouble  ?  If  I  could  have  only  written 
it  and  sent  it  to  the  public  then !  Would  they  have  said  then,  as 
they  did  about  dear  Sister  Worthiam,  that  she  ^lid  not  know  wrong 
when  she  saw  it — and  that  her  mind  was  not  right?  She,  too,  was 
living  at  my  aunt's  house  at  the  time  of  the  trial,  and  was  personally 
known  to  me  to  be  clothed  in  her  right  mind,  sitting  by  faith  at 
Jesus'  feet,  as  true-hearted  a  woman  as  one  would  want  to  meet, 
honest  and  upright  in  everything,  just  as  she  is  to-day,  five  years 
thereafter.  JENNIE  WILD." 

As  my  niece  married  a  few  months  after  this  trouble,  God 
tells  us  that  two  or  three  witnesses  shall  establish  every  word 
(Matt.  18:16),  so  with  our  two  testimonies  we  surely  can  estab- 
lish the  fact  that  we  were  led  out  of  the  Haymarket  Mission  in 
January,  before  the  Lord  hardened  the  hearts  of  the  people  against 
me  and  put  me  out. 

In  the  latter  part  of  the  winter,  a  year  after  the  trouble,  we 
were  sent  for  to  hold  meetings  in  Elizabeth.  One  of  the  leading 
merchants  sent  a  telegram  for  me  to  come  and  bring  my  singer. 
God  wonderfully  blessed  us.  The  oldest  citizens  of  Elizabeth  said 
there  never  was  as  good  a  meeting  held  there  since  Elizabeth  became 
a  town.  This  clipping  from  the  Elizabeth  paper  will  give  you  an 
idea  of  the  work: 

"Mrs.  Peterson,  the  revivalist,  is  still  holding  the  fort  here,  and 
is  preaching  telling  sermons  nightly  to  large  congregations.  She  has 
been  preaching  in  the  Hubbard  opera  house  since  Sunday  afternoon, 
the  frame  school  house  being  entirely  too  small  to  hold  all  who 
came  out  to  hear  her.  She  has  been  the  means  of  reviving  the  spirit 


hi 

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w, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  233 

of  Christianity  in  the  backslider  and  kindling  the  fire  of  love  in  the 
hearts  of  some  of  our  most  prominent  people.  May  much  good 
result  from  this  work  is  the  wish  of  the  Banner. 

"Mrs.  Peterson,  her  singer,  Miss  Wild,  and  her  organist,  Mr. 
F.  Thomas,  made  a  pleasant  call  on  the  blackslidden  editor  and 
foreman  of  this  paper  this  morning.  It  is  not  often  one  has  a 
chance  to  hear  a  woman  of  Mrs.  Peterson's  power,  and  everyone 
should  attend  her  meetings.  Pack  the  church  every  night  to  hear 
Mrs.  Peterson.  She  will  make  you  forget  the  crush.  Mrs.  Peterson 
will  fill  an  appointment  at  Elizabeth  and  Kiowa  once  a  month." 

Mr.  Peterson  drew  the  accompanying  picture,  giving  his  idea 
of  how  we  would  return  from  our  first  revival  meeting. 

As  God  says,  the  laborer  is  worthy  of  his  hire,  and  as  we  trav- 
eled on  ministers'  half-rate  tickets,  we  had  money  enough  to  return 
home  without  walking.  Matt.  13:55,  56,  57  shows  that  the  people 
did  not  think  the  Lord  himself  amounted  to  very  much,  or  was 
worth  much  to  them.  "Is  not  this  the  carpenter's  son?  is  not  his 
mother  called  Mary?  and  his  brethren,  James,  and  Joses,  and  Simon, 
and  Judas?  And  his  sisters,  are  they  not  all  with  us?  Whence 
then  hath  this  man  all  these  things?  And  they  were  offended  in 
him.  But  Jesus  said  unto  them,  A  prophet  is  not  without  honor, 
save  in  his  own  country,  and  in  his  own  house."  It  has  been 
much  the  same  with  me.  Jesus,  himself,  testified  that  a  prophet 
had  no  honor  in  his  own  country  (John  4:44),  and  they  considered 
me  just  a  railroad  man's  wife.  I  never  had  the  chance  I  ought 
to  have  had.  I  have  had  leaders  in  meetings  take  the  word  of  young 
Christians  who  had  not  been  converted  two  years,  in  preference  to 
mine,  when  they  had  been  taken  from  the  very  depths  of  sin  and 
had  not  yet  had  time  to  prove  themselves.  Their  word  was  taken 
before  that  of  my  niece  or  Sister  Worthiam,  because  they  were  in 
favor  of  me.  And  I  had  proved  myself,  without  a  doubt,  honest  in 
all  my  dealings,  and  having  an  unquestionable  character  in  this 
city  for  twenty-five  years.  With  this,  and  the  trouble  which  I  will 
speak  of  farther  on,  it  surely  is  a  miracle  that  I  have  done  what 
I  have;  but  thank  God  I  can  say  to  the  citizens  of  Denver,  in  Jesus' 
name,  I  have  been  able  to  overcome  my  enemies  triumphantly,  and 
still  retain  my  honor  and  name  as  a  Christian.  Prov.  16:7: 
"When  a  man's  ways  please  the  Lord,  hejnaketh  even  his  enemies 
to  be  at  peace  with  him."  As  I  said,  I  had  learned  to  let  the  Lord 
lead  me  in  money  matters;  and  as  I  have  told  you  we  had  a  few 
hundred  dollars  at  the  time  of  the  strike.  As  the  months  passed 
into  years,  I  began  to  think  it  was  about  time  to  talk  to  the  Lord 
about  our  own  affairs.  Mr.  Peterson  tried  buying  butter  and  eggs 
in  the  country,  and  selling  them  in  Denver.  He  wanted  to  buy 
a  horse  and  express  wagon,  but  I  could  not  get  any  leading  that 


234  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

he  should.  I  did  not  think  he  could  make  anything  at  it,  but 
I  knew  where  he  could  get  a  rig,  horse  and  all,  to  see  what  we 
could  do,  without  paying  out  money.  But  it  was  a  complete  failure. 
So  we  tried  the  chicken  business.  After  we  had  decided,  Mr. 
Peterson  went  out  to  measure  off  the  size  of  the  chicken  house.  I 
was  washing  the  breakfast  dishes.  I  went  to  talking  to  the  Lord 
about  it,  and  I  know  I  had  not  prayed  in  my  heart  ten  minutes 
when  the  thought  came  to  me  with  such  fear:  "You  will  lose  if 
you  do."  I  went  to  the  door  and  told  Mr.  Peterson  to  come  in, 
I  wanted  to  see  him.  I  told  him  what  the  Spirit  had  said  to  me. 
He  said :  "Rachel,  it  looks  like  you  do  nothing  but  oppose  me  in 
everything  I  try."  I  told  him  he  could  go  ahead,  but  he  would 
not  make  anything  at  it.  He  built  the  chicken  house  and  bought 
the  chickens.  I  forget  how  many  dozen,  but  the  yard  was  full.  It 
was  only  a  few  weeks  that  a  disease  got  among  the  chickens,  called 
roop,  a  disease  in  the  throat  and  nose.  We  doctored  them,  but 
in  vain.  While  we  were  doing  our  best  to  save  them,  I  had 
more  calls  to  go  and  see  the  sick  and  dying  than  at  any  other  one 
time  in  my  Christian  life.  I  would  do  all  I  could  for  the  sick 
chickens,  and  then  go  and  see  the  sick  people,  and  then  come  back 
and  doctor  chickens  again.  All  the  time  the  Holy  Spirit  was  saying : 
"That  is  not  your  calling."  How  well  I  knew  it !  But  as  Mr. 
Peterson  had  bought  the  chickens  I  tried  to  do  my  part  in  saving 
them.  I  told  Mr.  Peterson  there  was  no  need  of  our  going  against 
the  will  of  God,  for  we  would  never  prosper.  I  did  not  tell  him 
why  the  Lord  would  not  let  us  prosper,  but  I  knew  if  we  did  it 
would  take  so  much  of  my  time  with  the  chickens  that  I  could 
not  do  the  Lord's  work.  It  was  not  long  till  Mr.  Peterson  was 
convinced  we  were  losing  too  heavily  to  last  long,  for  he  had  a 
gunnysack  full  of  chickens  to  carry  away  every  night,  so  we  thought 
if  we  took  them  into  the  country  we  could  perhaps  save  some.  Mr. 
Peterson  was  gone  almost  a  week  with  them,  when  one  evening 
at  dark  he  came  home.  I  asked  him  how  the  chickens  were.  He 
said :  "You  go  ask  a  Jew  peddler,  for  I  sold  them  all."  So  this 
ended  our  chicken  ranch.  He  then  went  to  work  in  the  mountains, 
with  a  man  by  the  same  name  but  no  relation,  though  of  the  same 
nationality,  from  Copenhagen,  Denmark.  Mr.  Peterson  was  gone 
six  weeks,  and  the  Mr.  Peterson  that  went  with  him  staid  two 
months.  Mrs.  Worthiam  made  her  home  with  me  during  the 
time  they  were  absent  in  the  mountains.  We  had  only  a  little 
change  left  in  the  house  when  Mr.  Peterson  was  ready  to  look 
for  work.  I  told  him,  repeatedly,  the  Lord  did  not  want  him  to 
go.  Sister  Worthiam  and  I  prayed  about  it,  and  she  thought  it 
would  be  all  right,  but  I  knew  better.  I  thought  I  would  have  to 
draw  some  of  the  money  out  of  the  bank.  Neither  of  us  wanted 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  235 

to,  if  we  could  get  along,  so  I  told  him  to  take  a  few  dollars 
with  him.  I  had  let  Brother  Jay  have  $14  (to  get  some  clothes 
with)  of  some  money  that  was  given  me  in  the  revivals  in  the 
mountains. 

I  had  helped  this  brother  so  many  times  I  was  discouraged.  I 
had  let  him  go  till  he  was  without  anything  to  wear.  I  thought, 
perhaps,  he  had  suffered  enough,  and  would  do  the  right  thing  if 
I  helped  him.  I  wrote  him  several  good,  Christian  letters  while  in 
the  mountains,  and  got  an  answer  telling  how  much  good  my  letters 
had  done.  I  have  done  as  much  good  with  encouraging  letters  a? 
in  any  way.  I  have  sent  letters  to  all  parts  of  the  world.  Paul 
did  a  great  deal  of  letter  writing.  I  have  often  wondered  if  anyone 
over  tried  to  profit  by  his  example.  He  tells  us  of  suffering  from 
.false  brethren.  As  I  said,  I  wrote  to  this  poor,  down-trodden  piece 
of  humanity,  and  some  that  had  envy  in  their  hearts  against  me 
tried  to  take  one  of  these  letters  and  imitate  my  hand-writing.  As 
near  as  I  can  learn,  they  practiced  with  my  writing  for  over  two 
years  to  add  things  to  the  letter  that  I  would  hesitate  to  have 
the  whole  world  see.  They  tried  to  do  me  as  much  harm  in  that 
way  as  other  ways  I  have  mentioned ;  especially  the  one  that  Paul 
mentions  in  Rom.  16:16:  "Salute  one  another  with  an  holy  kiss." 

I  want  to  give  a  few  bible  ideas  on  this  line,  to  show  the  carnal 
mind  that  is  in  the  church  to-day.  If  Paul  lived  now  he  could 
not  encourage  the  church  to  salute  one  another  as  he  did.  If 
he  should  he  would  suffer  more  than  the  scribe  and  pharisee  made 
him  suffer.  The  church  to-day  is  ignorant  of  the  power  of  love,  and 
sympathy,  and  tenderness.  Paul  knew  the  power  in  the  kiss  of 
sympathy.  If  he  had  not  he  would  not  have  encouraged  it.  If 
this  is  a  wicked  and  unholy  act  why  did  Paul  say  again  in  I  Cor. 
16:20:  "Let  all  the  brethren  greet  you.  Greet  ye  one  another  with 
an  holy  kiss."  There  are  so  many  narrow-minded,  selfish,  unlova- 
ble people  in  this  world,  who  take  a  holy  thing  and  esteem  it  unholy. 
This  class  of  people  will  never  know  the  power  there  is  in  love 
and  sympathy.  They  do  not  know  how  to  love  anyone  outside  of 
their  own  families.  Often  they  do  not  even  know  how  to  love  their 
own  families.  Their  hearts  have  been  hardened  through  the 
deceitfulness  of  sin  till  they  hardly  have  natural  affection.  I  believe 
there  are  many  Christians  to-day  who  have  that  love  and  sympathy 
in  their  hearts,  but  do  not  act  upon  the  holy  deed  because  of  the 
carnal  mind ;  they  have  evil  thoughts  that  the  one  they  would  kiss 
might  think  evil.  I  am  a  living  witness  to  the  fact  that  if  you  give 
a  holy  kiss  it  will  be  received  holy.  Anything  holy  does  not  cor- 
rupt ;  and  Paul  -aid  this  is  holy,  as  holy  as  if  one's  own  sister 
or  mother  had  given  it.  It  has  been  stopped  in  the  churches 
because  it  is  believed  to  have  an  evil  influence,  and  power  to  defile 


236  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

and  drag  down.  Why  do  we  encourage  this  evil  in  our  homes  by 
kissing  our  darling  babies,  and  dear  children,  and  husband,  and 
wife,  and  father,  and  mother,  and  brothers,  and  sisters,  if  this  act 
be  unholy?  When  we  take  a  darling  babe  in  our  arms  this  love 
bursts  forth  in  the  act  of  a  kiss.  How  much  more  is  the  love  of 
Christ  in  our  hearts  for  one  another?  Pray  tell  me,  is  the  love  of 
a  babe  more  than  the  love  of  Christ?  Will  the  power  of  our  own 
family,  and  love  for  our  own  be  greater  than  the  power  and  love 
of  Christ?  Then  we  must  take  from  the  bible.  I  have  already 
told  you  what  God  will  do  with  you  if  you  be  guilty  of  such  a 
thing  as  taking  from  his  word.  Again  in  II  Cor.  13:12:  "Greet 
one  another  with  an  holy  kiss."  I  do  not,  and  cannot  think  of  a 
grander  act  in  God's  word,  that  will  show  forth  the  tender-hearted- 
ness shown  in  Ephesians  4:32.  Is  it  not  a  pure,  tender  heart  that 
will  give  a  baby  a  kiss?  Woe  be  unto  a  Christian  who  dares  say- 
he  is  a  follower  of  our  Savior  and  Lord  Jesus,  and  dares  to  give 
any  other  kiss  than  an  holy  one.  And  shame  on  the  one  who 
dares  to  judge  one  who  gives  a  holy  kiss.  I  Thess.  5:26: 
"Greet  all  the  brethren  with  an  holy  kiss."  Peter  exhorts 
the  church  and  finishes  by  saying  in  I  Peter  5:14:  "Greet  ye 
one  another  with  a  kiss  of  charity."  Oh,  think  of  the  black,  wicked 
hearts  in  this  world — as  black  as  they  were  in  olden  times,  when 
God  said  in  Jer.  17:9:  "The  heart  is  deceitful  above  all  things,  and 
desperately  wicked:  who  can  know  it?"  Thank  God  he  knows  the 
heart,  and  will  judge  the  heart  of  every  man;  and  it  will  be  worse 
for  us  than  for  anyone  else.  If  there  were  wicked  hearts  then  as 
now,  surely  there  are  just  as  pure  hearts  now  as  in  the  time  of 
Paul  and  Peter.  If  they  could  give  a  holy  kiss  then  we  can  now, 
and  live  just  as  holy  in  the  sight  of  God.  Let  men  think  what  they 
will.  I  never  think  of  going  over  to  Sister  and  Brother  Jacobs 
that  I  do  not  kiss  both  of  them.  And  Brother  Cliffner  and  his  wife 
would  both  think  something  wrong  if  I  did  not  kiss  them  when 
I  meet  them  on  the  street,  or  anywhere.  The  last  time  I  was 
at  Doctor  Webb's  home  I  kissed  her  bood-bye,  and  he  said :  "Sister 
Peterson,  are  you  not  going  to  kiss  me?"  His  wife  said:  "Sister 
Peterson,  kiss  my  husband.  Don't  you  know  he  loves- you  as  well 
as  I?"  Thank  God  there  are  pure-minded  people  in  the  city  of 
Denver,  and  some  of  them  do  not  make  a  profession  of  religion.  I 
know  when  Dr.  Webb  kissed  me  it  .was  as  holy  and  pure  as  if  it 
had  been  my  own  brother;  and  I  know  he  felt  as  if  I  was  his  sister. 
I  do  not  know  why,  but  I  know  there  was  a  brother  and  his  wife 
came  from  the  mountains  a  few  weeks  before  writing  this,  and  both 
ran  into  the  house  and  took  me  in  their  arms.  A  mother  was  never 
loved  more  than  I,  and  they  call  me  mama.  Sister  Cliffner's  husband 
is  older  than  I  am.  Well,  I  am  glad  I  have  met  sucfi  people,  an« 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  237 

know  there  are  holy  kisses  and  holy  love  as  tender  and  true  as 
that  of  brother  and  sister,  outside  of  our  families.  One  dear  soul, 
while  I  was  in  the  tent  on  Fourteenth  and  Lawrence  streets,  the 
dear  Lord  led  me  to  kiss ;  and  if  I  had  not  taken  a  second  thought, 
I  would  have  kissed  him  before  the  tent  full  of  people.  At  that 
time  I  had  not  gotten  over  the  persecution  I  had  already  received, 
and  could  not  do  the  same  thing  before  that  crowd  of  people.  I 
did  think  in  time  to  save  myself,  but  I  had  to  laugh,  five  minutes 
after,  when  I  looked  at  the  poor  fellow.  He  had  just  been  con- 
verted. He  was  a  great,  fat,  pussy  fellow,  and  so  slick  with  grease 
and  dirt  that  he  shone.  He  was  a  hobo,  or  tramp,  as  they  are 
called.  They  never  found  that  name  in  the  bible.  They  are  called 
prodigals.  I  am  not  familiar  enough  with  my  dictionary  to  know 
whether  or  not  the  word  can  be  found  there,  but  anyway  he  was 
saved  in  the  tent,  and  I  know  he  had  as  loving  a  heart  as  his  body 
was  big.  You  could  feel  the  fellowship  and  communion  of  pure, 
devoted  love  of  God.  I  could  not  help  feeling  the  influence,  though 
he  was  dirty  and  ragged.  I  know  I  never  had  a  more  tender  love 
for  a  babe,  than  for  those  that  are  just  born  into  the  Kingdom 
of  God.  I  do  not  know  whether  there  are  very  many  Christians  that 
feel  as  I  have  told  you  or  not.  If  they  do,  they  dare  not  tell  it. 
Thank  God  I  am  not  ashamed  of  the  love  of  Christ,  and  I  dare  tell 
it,  praise  his  name,  and  am  not  ashamed  to  act  upon  it.  Do  you 
know  that  Brother  Thomas  stopped  at  my  house,  and  I  bade  my 
family  good-bye  with  a  kiss,  when  I  was  going  to  fill  my  appoint- 
ments in  the  mountains  for  two  or  three  days,  I  kissed  Mr.  Peterson 
bood-bye,  because  he  always  went  to  work  before  I  started;  and 
when  I  was  ready  to  go  I  kissed  Jennie,  my  niece,  and  then  my 
ilttle  girl,  and  then  Brother  Thomas;  this  I  did  for  almost  a  year, 
the  time  he  was  with  us.  He  was  a  member  of  the  family,  and  in 
our  home,  and  I  know  not  one  of  us  ever  thought  that  the  kiss 
was  out  of  place,  any  more  than  if  it  had  been  from  his  own  sister. 
Now,  I  ask  how  many  will  strain  at  this  gnat,  and  open  wide  their 
mouths  and  swallow  a  camel.  I  know  there  are  evil-minded  chris- 
tians  who  will  think  this  awful,  and  will  till  they,  get  to  heaven 
and  learn  better — if  they  ever  get  in — if  they  do  not  hear  these 
words:  "Depart,  I  never  knew  you." 

I  got  one  poor  fellow  released  from  the  jail,  and  got  him  a 
half-rate  ticket  to  Cheyenne.  I  went  to  the  depot  with  him  and 
sat  down  in  the  car  with  him  till  train  time.  If  you  could  have 
seen  that  dear  fellow  tremble  from  head  to  foot  it  surely  would 
have  broken  your  heart,  if  you  had  any  feeling  at  all.  He  was 
so  overcome,  and  grateful  that  he  had  gotten  out  of  jail,  that  he 
told  with  tears  and  faltering  words,  how  grateful  he  was  to  me. 
When  I  saw  this,  how  could  I  help  loving  him  as  his  dear  old 


238  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

mother  did?  I  knew  his  mother  was  living,  for  he  had  ju'st  shown 
me  a  letter  saying :  "John,  my  dear,  darling  boy,  do  come  home ;  do, 
my  own  son,  come  home.  John,  you  do  not  know  how  your  mother 
longs  to  see  her  boy  again."  I  said  I  would  do  my  part  to  make 
that  mother  glad.  I  took  him  home  and  gave  him  a  good  supper 
and  a  lunch  to  take  with  him.  He  took  a  good  bath  and  changed 
his  clothes,  for  they  are  always  filthy  when  they  come  out  of  jail, 
and  I  gave  him  a  warm  overcoat  I  had  begged.  You  would 
hardly  have  known  him  an  hour  after  he  got  out  of  jail,  his  face 
was  so  bright  and  he  was  so  happy.  He  had  been  converted  two 
Sundays  before  in  the  jail.  When  we  were  ready  to  go  we  knelt, 
and  both  of  us  prayed.  Maybe  you  think  I  wasn't  proud  to  start 
that  dear  boy  home.  Perhaps  you  think  I  did  not  love  him.  Did 
you  ever  go  out  and  do  such  work?  If  you  never  did  you  do 
not  know  the  first  principle  of  love.  Talk  about  nautral  love!  It 
is  nothing  compared  with  the  love  of  Christ.  It-  is  no  wonder  we 
can  lay  down  our  lives  for  one  another.  The  word  of  God  says  in 
I  John  3:16:  "Hereby  perceive  we  the  love  of  God,  because  he 
laid  down  his  life  for  us :  and  we  ought  to  lay  down  our  lives  for 
the  brethren."  Men  will  lay  down  their  lives  for  their  country, 
but  when  we  get  the  love  of  God  we  lay  down  our  lives  for  one 
another.  When  it  came  time  for  me  to  bid  this  boy  good-bye,  I 
took  him  by  the  hand  and  said :  "Now,  my  brother,  I  may  never 
see  you  again  till  we  meet  at  the  bar  of  God.  May  God  help  you 
to  meet  me  in  heaven.  I  am  going  to  kiss  you  good-bye."  And 
as  I  kissed  him  and  said,  "God  bless  you  and  keep  you,"  the 
tears  ran  down  his  face,  and  tears  started  in  my  eyes.  I  bade  him 
good-bye  'as  the  train  pulled  out,  and  he  waved  his  handkerchief 
through  the  window  to  me.  That  was  eight  years  ago.  The  last  I 
heard  of  him  he  was  on  his  way  to  his  mother  in  Canada.  Do 
you  think  he  will  ever  forget  the  love  I  showed  him  ?  No ;  not 
even  in  the  other  world.  He  will  remember  it  as  the  rich  man 
remembered  Lazarus.  When  he  met  and  parted  with  Lazarus  it  was 
far  different  from  my  parting  with  this  dear,  mother's  boy. 

A  few  days  after  that  I  went  to  the  mayor  of  the  city  and 
got  another  one  out,  and  helped  him  to  get  away  from  the  police, 
for  they  would  have  taken  him  again  if  he  had  staid  in  the  city. 
The  last  letter  I  got  from  him  he  was  in  Omaha.  He  was  <pn 
his  way  to  his  wife,  who  lived  in  New  York  City.  The  jailer  said: 
"I  believe  that  poor  fellow  is  innocent.  Mrs.  Peterson,  I  wish 
you  would  get  him  out.  He  is  down,  with  no  one  to  help  him 
up."  It  is  that  way  with  more  than  half.  The  right  step  is  not 
taken  to  help  them  get  on  their  feet.  Everybody  is  too  willing 
to  give  them  a  kick,  because  they  are  down.  If  nothing  worse, 
they  make  them  feel  they  are  down  by  calling  them  hoboes,  when 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  239 

they  are  mothers'  boys.  And  that  causes  them  to  think,  "Well, 
I  am  nothing  but  a  hobo,  any  way,"  and  they  will  have  no  ambition 
or  courage  to  be  anything  else.  Of  course  there  are  some,  both 
men  and  women,  who  would  not  live  any  other  kind  of  life;  but 
there  are  good  among  the  bad,  and  may  God  help  us  to  find  them; 
and  be  good  to  the  bad,  for  they  have  a  hard  enough  time  here, 
to  say  nothing  of  the  world  to  come;  for  they  sow  to  the  flesh, 
and  reap  corruption,  and  suffer  more  than  most  people  think. 

I  will  finish  by  telling  you  how  we  came  out  financially.  I 
told  Mr.  Peterson  I  would  get  this  fellow,  whom  I  got  the  clothes 
for,  to  come  and  board  till  he  could  pay  me  the  $14  he  owed 
me.  He  was  only  getting  living  wages,  without  paying  debts, 
and  when  he  got  off  the  track  he  got  in  debt  for  his  room  and 
board.  Then  I  got  his  clothes  and  washed  and  mended  them  every 
week  till  he  was  out  of  debt  again.  He  did  a  great  deal  of  my 
writing,  copying  it  after  I  had  written  it,  and  then  I  put  it  away, 
ready  for  my  book.  I  have  never  regretted  what  I  did  for  him, 
because  he  now  makes  a  good  citizen  and  a  good  Christian,  so  far 
as  I  know.  One  thing,  he  has  never  gotten  as  low  as  when  I 
picked  him  up,  for  he  has  only  been  out  of  work  a  few  weeks 
in  several  years;  and  before  he  could  not  hold  a  position  very 
long.  I  want  to  say  that  no  one  is  made  worse  by  our  doing  what 
we  can  for  them.  I  could  board  him  cheaper  than  he  could  board 
down  town,  and  that  helped  me  to  get  the  money  he  owed  me. 
All  that  summer  Sister  Worthiam  and  I  were  gathering  vegetables, 
and  meat,  and  clothing  for  the  poor,  and  we  had  three  at  the  house 
besides  him.  You  know  she  made  her  home  with  me,  also,  and  then 
we  fed  twenty-five  families  besides.  This  was  when  times  were  so 
hard  and  families  would  have  gone  hungry  if  we  had  not  done 
what  we  did.  I  could  bo&rd  him  for  almost  nothing,  and  get 
my  $14.  He  had  one  room  upstairs,  and  Sister  Worthiam  the 
other,  while  my  niece  and  little  girl  and  I  slept  down  stairs.  Mr 
Peterson  was  away.  This  was  the  summer  before  they  turned  me 
out  of  the  Haymarket.  That  summer  and  fall  and  winter  I  almost 
kept  the  house  with  the  work  I  was  doing  and  the  money  I  got 
from  holding  meetings.  This  was  the  time  Mr.  Peterson  got  a 
letter  from  a  man,  telling  him  to  come  home,  and  a  lot  of  stuff  that 
is  not  worth  mentioning.  It  is  too  shameful  to  speak  of;  and 
before  he  closed  the  letter  he  said  he  was  condemned  for  writing  it. 
Think  of  his  acknowledging  it  in  his  letter,  before  he  got  through 
with  his  fiendish,  villainous  work,  that  they  that  are  serving  years 
of  sentence  in  the  penitentiary  would  not  be  guilty  of.  I  took  the 
letter  over  to  Brother  Uzzell  and  let  him  read  it.  I  tried  to  find 
the  demon  who  was  guilty  of  such  wickedness,  but  could  not.  I 
wonder  if  that  kind  of  human  beings  are  not  the  ones  that  God 


240  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

calls  inventors  of  evil  things.  (Rom.  1 130.)  And  in  the  Epistle 
of  Jude,  10 :  "But  these  speak  evil  of  those  things  which  they 
know  not:  but  what  they  know  naturally,  as  brute  beasts,  in  those 
things  they  corrupt  themselves."  They  are  more  dangerous  than 
the  wild  animals  of  the  forest.  I  would  rather  meet  the  wild  animal 
than  those  that  God  calls  brutes  and  beasts.  In  this  same  verse 
God  says :  "They  speak  evil  of  things  they  know  not."  It  was 
so  with  this  man.  I  learned  it  was  a  man  this  time.  The  saying 
is,  woman  does  the  mischief  and  the  meddling.  And  a  good 
many  do,  but  this  was  a  man,  and  he  surely  meddled  with  what 
he  knew  nothing  about.  Mr.  Peterson  knew  just  how  many  I  had 
at  the  house  and  who  they  were  before  he  left  the  city.  I  never 
intended  to  help  this  brother  again.  When  I  did  it  was  at  the 
request  of  Brother  B — ,  after  I  had  come  from  the  mountains,  and 
he  said  he  would  make  him  superintendent  of  the  Sunday  school 
to  see  if  that  would  encourage  him.  That  was  all  right,  I  did  not 
blame  Brother  B —  for  that,  for  my  motto  has  always  been  if 
we  fail,  try,  try  again.  The  Lord  tells  us  in  Luke  17  14,  5 :  "And 
if  he  trespass  against  thee  seven  times  in  a  day,  and  seven  times  in 
a  day  turn  again  to  thee,  saying,  I  repent;  thou  shalt  forgive  him. 
And  the  apostles  said  unto  the  Lord,  Increase  our  faith."  It  was 
as  hard  for  the  disciples  to  live  that  passage  of  scripture  as  for 
the  Christians  of  to-day.  Think  of  it!  We  are  to  forgive  one 
another  seven  times  a  day,  if  they  are  sorry,  but  it  only  meant 
about  $20  to  me  to  straighten  him  up.  I  had  tried  so  often  I  had 
become  discouraged,  but  I  told  Brother  B —  I  would  do  what  I 
could.  And  thank  God,  I  do  not  regret  it.  It  was  the  only  way 
I  could  get  the  $14,  and  there  was  no  harm  in  it,  but  the  harm  the 
wicked  hearts  made  of  it;  but  God  will  deal  with  them  as  Paul 
said  in  II  Tim.  4:14:  "Alexander  the  coppersmith  did  me  much 
evil:  the  Lord  rewarded  him  according  to  his  works."  Everyone 
has,  and  will,  suffer  more  than  they  cause  me  to  suffer.  I  know 
many  have  suffered  more  than  ever  I  have.  The  Holy  Spirit  led  me 
to  tell  him  to  leave  the  house  ten  days  before  he  did  go.  Sister 
Worthiam  asked  me  to  let  him  stay  a  little  longer,  but  I  felt  led 
not  to  listen  to  anyone,  but  did,  and  Sister  Worthiam  will  tell  you 
the  same.  We  did  a  wonderful  work  that  summer,  in  looking  after 
the  poor.  Sister  Worthiam  left  my  home  in  the  fall;  then  I  got 
Sister  Lee  to  help  me  carry  on  the  work  of  providing  for  families. 
She  worked  with  me  a  year.  I  worked  harder  this  year  than  I  ever 
had,  in  looking  out  for  the  poor.  And  all  the  time  I  was  praying 
the  Lord  to  give  Mr.  Peterson  work.  About  ten  days  after  he  re- 
turned home,  the  man  who  went  with  him  to  hunt  work  came 
back.  I  think  it  was  about  noon  the  next  day  I  was  talking  to 
this  man.  My  husband  was  down  town.  I  shall  never  forget  it. 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  241 

We  were  wondering  what  they  both  would  do,  for  they  had  been 
black-listed  on  the  road.  I  was  standing  with  my  hand  on  the 
corner  of  the  stand  table  when  the  Holy  Spirit  spoke  to  me.  It 
never  had  been  plainer.  I  stopped  and  listened,  and  said  to  Mr. 
Peterson  (for  this  man  had  the  same  name  as  my  husband)  :  "The 
Lord  has  told  me  what  you  and  my  husband  must  do."  "What  is 
it?"  he  asked.  I  answered:  "What  do  you  think?"  "I  have  no 
idea,"  he  said,  for  we  were  both  about  to  leave  the  room  when 
the  Holy  Spirit  came  to  me.  I  said :  "Sit  down,  and  I  will  tell  you. 
The  Lord  tells  me  to  tell  you  to  get  some  shoe-making  tools,  and 
go  from  house  to  house  and  gather  up  the  shoes  that  are  to  be 
mended,  and  repair  them ;  and  then  take  them  back  again,  and 
you  shall  prosper."  The  Holy  Spirit  even  showed  me  the  room 
they  were  to  do  their  repairing  in.  The  next  morning  they  started 
out,  and  it  was  not  long  till  they  returned  with  their  arms  full. 
It  was  not  a  month  till  the  trade  was  so  large  we  had  not  enough 
room  at  the  house,  and  they  rented  a  place  on  Downing  avenue. 
Their  sign  read: 


W.  Peterson  P.  S.  Peterson 

PETERSON     &     PETERSON 

Manufacturing  Shoemakers 

Shop,  30th  and  Downing 

REPAIRING    NEATLY   DONE 
NONE    BUT    FIRST-CLASS    MATERIAL    USED 
REASONABLE  PRICES — ALL  GOODS  CALLED  FOR  AND  DELIVERED 

Residence,  35*9  Lafayette  St.,  Denver,  Colo. 


They  had  never  learned  the  shoe-making  trade,  but  God  won- 
derfully prospered  them.  They  repaired  shoes  almost  two  years, 
and  in  March  my  husband  got  back  with  the  road.  There  were 
days,  while  in  the  shoe  shop,  they  made  as  much  as  $5.  They  pros- 
pered so  well  that  they  made  up  their  minds  to  start  another  shop, 
on  Eighteenth  and  Downing.  In  a  month  they  had  to  close  the 
place.  They  could  not  make  expenses.  It  was  not  long  till  they 
decided  to  rent  a  place  on  Glenarm  street.  They  could  not  under- 
stand why  they  should  not  prosper  elsewhere,  as  they  had  in  their 
first  shop.  I  told  them  that  God  would  not  prosper  them,  for 

1C 


242  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

I  knew  they  were  doing  well  enough  as  they  were.  My  husband 
sent  Mr.  Peterson  over  to  the  house  to  tell  me  what  they  intended 
to  do.  I  told  them,  as  I  had  before,  that  they  would  not  pros- 
per. Though  this  man  was  not  a  Christian,  I  told  him,  whether  he 
believed  it  or  not,  that  one  shop  was  the  only  shop  God  would 
bless.  He  went  back  and  told  my  husband  what  I  said,  and  when 
he  came  to  dinner  he  said :  "Rachel,  we  are  going  to  try  it  any- 
way." They  lost  everything  they  had  made  in  the  other  shop,  and 
lacked  $15  of  having  enough  to  start  the  second  time,  so  I  told  my 
husband  I  would  borrow  the  $15  at  the  grocery  store,  and  when 
they  got  started  they  could  pay  it  back.  This  was  two  months 
before  Mr.  Peterson  got  back  with  the  road.  On  the  way  from 
the  store  I  was  asking  the  Lord  to  show  me  if  it  was  his  will  they 
should  try  another  shop.  I  could  go  now  to  the  tree  I  was  under 
when  the  Spirit  said  to  me:  "They  will  never  pay  that  $15  out 
of  the  shop."  I  knew  God  would  not  bless  the  shop,  and  told  my 
husband  so.  I  told  him  every  word  the  Spirit  said  to  me,  for  he 
had  begun  to  believe  my  messages  from  the  Spirit.  He  went 
and  told  Mr.  Peterson  what  I  said,  and  sure  enough  they  lost 
everything  they  had  made  in  the  first  shop,  trying  to  keep  up  the 
expenses  of  the  one  they  had  just  started.  They  made  up  their 
minds  they  would  not  try  it  again.  They  were  both  working  in 
the  old  shop  together,  when  the  way  was  opened  for  Mr.  Peterson 
to  go  back  with  the  road.  How  true  it  was !  Mr.  Peterson  paid 
the  $15  from  the  first  month's  wages  he  drew  from  the  railroad. 
If  we  would  only  do  as  David  said  in  Psalms  37:23:  "The  steps 
of  a  good  man  are  ordered  by  the  Lord:  and  he  delighteth  in  his 
way."  The  Lord  tells  us  we  are  better  than  the  fowls  of  the 
air,  and  he  would  do  much  more  for  us  than  for  them,  and  he 
fed  and  clothed  the  fields  with  grass.  I  knew  my  faith  was  not 
small,  and  I  knew  I  had  sought  the  kingdom;  and  he  said  if  I 
did  he  would  add  the  other  things..  I  kept  on  praying  and  believ- 
ing till  the  dear  Lord  added  as  he  promises  in  Matt.  6 :33.  This 
brings  me  into  the  last  spring  and  the  summer  in  the  Haymarket. 
I  had  just  cleaned  house  and  made  garden,  and  was  finishing  up 
my  spring  sewing,  and  thanked  God  that  I  was  through  with  the 
heaviest  part  of  my  work  for  the  next  six  months.  This  was  the 
last  of  April.  I  was  making  a  dress  for  my  little  girl,  and  was  so 
anxious  to  finish  it  that  I  wished  no  one  would  come  to  bother  me 
till  it  was  done. 

I  had  been  sewing  but  two  hours  when  the  dog  barked ;  I 
looked  out  and  there  were  two  ladies  at  the  door.  I  told  my  niece 
I  would  not  go  to  the  door,  for  I  knew  they  wanted  something,  and 
I  was  too  busy  to  attend  to  them;  for  I  had  made  up  my  mind  not 
to  stop  till  the  dress  was  finished.  They  started  away  and  had  gone 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  243 

a  half  block  when  the  spirit  came  and  told  me  not  to  let  them  go. 
I  turned  to  Jennie  and  said:  "Jennie,  the  Lord  does  not  want  me 
to  let  them  go  without  seeing  them."  I  stepped  to  the  door  and 
called  one  of  them.  I  did  not  know  the  other.  This  sister  said: 
"Sister  Peterson,  do  you  know  this  lady  came  over  to  Globeville, 
where  I  live,  it  is  three  miles  from  here,  to  get  your  number.  I 
came  with  her,  for  I  did  not  know  it  myself.  She  wants  you  to 
go  and  see  a  sick  man."  The  doctor  told  him  if  he  had  anything  to 
do  to  attend  to  it,  for  he  was  liable  to  die  any  hour.  His  wife 
was  a  believer,  but  he  was  not.  He  would  not  give  his  consent  for 
anyone  to  come  and  pray  with  him.  The  doctor  had  told  him  he  had 
but  a  short  time,  and  his  wife  begged  him  to  let  someone  come, 
if  only  to  please  her.  She  said :  "Jerry,  let  this  be  for  my  sake." 
He  said  he  would  grant  it,  but  not  for  his  own  sake,  for  he  was 
all  right.  He  said  he  wanted  no  preacher,  they  could  do  him  no 
good ;  but  if  she  would  get  some  good  old  lady,  it  would  be  all 
right.  He  said:  "I  will  not  have  a  preacher  in  the  house."  They 
said  they  did  not  know  of  any  old  lady,  so  they  had  come  for 
me,  for  they  were  afraid  to  wait  another  day,  lest  he  should  die. 
And  he  was  so  wicked!  He  did  not  believe  in  God,  and  made  all 
kinds  of  fun  of  religion.  But  he  said  his  grandmother  had  raised 
him.  and  was  a  good,  old  soul,  and  he  said:  "If  you  can  find  some- 
one like  her,  for  your  sake,  it  will  be  all  right."  They  were  telling 
me  on  our  way  to  his  home  that  he  swore  so  that  wicked  men  said 
they  never  heard  such  oaths ;  and  when  he  was  suffering  he  swore 
so  that  swearing  men  hated  to  be  in  his  presence.  It  was  a  few 
minutes  past  eleven  when  we  got  there.  We  talked  about  every- 
thing but  what  I  went  there  for.  It  always  had  been  easy  for  me 
to  bring  up  the  subject  of  religion,  but  this  time  I  could  not.  At 
noon  I  was  still  there  and  had  said  no  word  to  him.  I  saw  I 
could  say  nothing,  and  I  wondered  if  he  was  given  over — if  the 
Lord  did  not  want  me  to  pray  for  him.  I  said  to  myself:  "Surely 
the  Lord  will  help  me  to  pray,  then  I  will  know  what  the  will 
of  the  Lord  is  concerning  this  wicked  man."  I  said :  "Mr.  Ketchum, 
I  must  go."  He  said  he  had  enjoyed  my  call.  Then  I  said:  "My 
brother,  can  I  pray  with  you?"  He  looked  at  me  with  an  indif- 
ferent expression  on  his  face,  and  said:  "Oh,  I  don't  care;  you 
may,  if  you  like.  It  won't  make  any  difference  with  me."  With 
a  toss  of  his  head  and  an  indifferent  laugh  he  leaned  back  in  his 
invalid's  chair.  Oh.  what  a  cold  chill  ran  all  over  me,  to  know 
he  was  so  near  death.  He  knew  the  doctors  had  said  the  paralysis 
had  gone  as  far  as  possible  without  striking  his  bowels,  and  when 
it  did  it  was  instant  death.  And  to  see  that  he  did  not  care !  I 
knelt  down  by  his  side,  with  my  hand  on  the  arm  of  the  chair,  for 
he  could  not  lie  down  long  at  a  time,  he  smothered  so.  As  I  knelt 


244  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

all  thought  of  prayer  left  me.  It  has  been  a  good  many  years 
since  I  made  such  a  failure  at  prayer.  One  woulci  think  I  had 
never  prayed  before.  My  spirit  felt  like  one  wading  through  mire 
and  mud.  The  more  I  tried  to  get  out,  the  deeper  in  I  seemed  to  get ; 
and  then  I  began  to  pray  for  myself.  There  were  five  or  six  in  the 
room.  I  do  not  know  what  they  thought,  nor  did  I  care,  if  only 
I  could  get  from  under  the  awful  influence  that  was  in  the  room. 
If  my  spiritual  eyes  had  been  opened  just  then  so  I  could  have  seen, 
I  believe  legions  of  devils  would  have  appeared  before  me.  But 
when  I  began  to  pray  for  myself,  thoughts  began  to  come,  and  I 
began  to  mount  above  the  influence  in  the  room.  I  had  not  prayed 
more  than  five  minutes,  when  all  at  once  a  heart-shaped  figure  in 
outline  came  before  me,  and  in  the  figure  were  the  words :  "His 
life  shall  be  lengthened  and  his  soul  saved."  The  instant  I  read  the 
last  word  "saved,"  it  vanished;  and  sooner  than  I  can  tell  you  I 
sprang  to  my  feet,  and  gathering  the  dying  man  around  the  neck, 
said :  "Brother  Ketchum,  you  are  not  going  to  die  as  soon  as  the 
doctors  think.  The  Lord  has  let  me  see  these  words  for  you,  that 
your  life  shall  be  lengthened  and  your  soul  saved."  He  did  not 
reply.  I  saw  him  wipe  away  the  tears,  and  then  I  knew  the  Lord 
had  already  got  hold  of  his  heart,  and  was  dealing  with  him  in 
some  way.  Before  I  saw  those  words  I  could  tell,  from  the  lib- 
erty the  Lord  was  giving  me,  that  the  Spirit  was  at  work.  I  told 
him  I  would  come  down  the  next  day,  and  bade  him  good-bye.  He 
would  not  say  a  word,  but  I  knew  he  was  affected. 

When  I  went  back  the  next  day  I  could  not  get  one  word 
out  of  him.  I  could  not  draw  him  out  on  any  subject,  he  seemed 
in  such  deep  meditation.  When  I  asked  him  if  I  might  pray,  there 
came  the  same  expression  I  had  seen  the  day  before;  but  I  had 
liberty  in  my  prayer,  and  I  knew  the  Lord  had  come  into  the 
home  to  stay.  After  I  had  prayed  he  could  not  control  his  tears. 
I  had  said  enough  in  my  prayer,  without  saying  anything  to  him 
personally,  so  I  bade  him  good-bye,  telling  him  he  could  depend 
upon  what  I  had  seen  the  day  before  for  him.  He  was  not  going 
to  die  as  soon  as  he  expected.  I  promised  to  come  back  the  next 
day.  I  prayed  every  step  of  the  way  home,  that  the  Lord  might 
stay  in  the  home;  and  he  did.  Though  it  was  an  humble  home,  it 
was  not  too  humble  for  him  to  dwell  there.  I  called  the  next  day, 
and  he  seemed  to  have  less  to  say  than  ever.  While  I  was  pray- 
ing the  tears  flowed  freely,  and  the  power  of  the  Lord  was  wonder- 
ful. Then  I  arose  from  my  knees  and  he  put  out  his  hand  and  said : 
"I  cannot  stand  this  any  longer.  Let  me  tell  you,  Mrs.  Peterson, 
all  these  three  days  I  have  tried  so  hard  to  drive  the  feeling  away. 
The  first  day  I  thought  it  was  your  influence,  and  that  after  you 
left  it  would  go;  but  it  did  not.  The  more  I  tried  to  think  it  was 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  245 

only  you,  and  there  was  nothing  in  what  you  said,  the  deeper  the 
words  got  into  my  heart,  till  I  know  there  is  something  more  than 
your  influence;  and  I  feel  for  the  first  time  in  my  life  that  I  am 
a  miserable  sinner — and  here  I  am,  fifty-five.  Think  of  it!"  And 
then  I  prayed  again,  and  the  light  of  forgiveness  and  salvation 
came  into  his  soul  that  had  been  dead  in  trespass  and  sin,  and 
blinded  all  these  years.  Think  of  the  mercy  of  the  Lord  to  rescue 
a  soul  right  on  the  brink  of  eternity!  A  few  weeks  before  his 
death  the  Lord  sanctified  him.  Oh,  the  rejoicing  that  was  in  that 
home,  where  one  was  snatched  as  a  brand  from  the  burning!  The 
Lord  did  with  this  dear  brother  as  with  Hezekiah.  He  added  a 
little  more  time  to  his  life.  Who  knows  but  it  was  an  answer  to 
prayers  that  his  dear,  old.  grandmother,  and  perhaps  his  mother, 
had  made  ?  What  a  happy  man  he  was !  Through  all  his  suffering 
there  was  always  a  smile  on  his  face.  This  was  the  last  of  April, 
and  he  lived  to  the  last  of  August.  I  append  a  clipping  from  a 
Denver  paper,  that  you  may  see  the  exact  way  the  Lord  led  me. 
Mrs.  Rice  did  not  know  as  much  about  the  facts  as  I  did. 

"HE  DIED  IN   A   HOVEL. 

"Strange  Story  from  a  Cabin  on  the  Platte. — Peculiar  Sickness  and 
Treatment. — Mrs.  Rice  and  Her  Handling  of  the  Case. — Sister 
Peterson  and  Her  Work. — Dr.  Coleman  and  His  Views  of 
the  Matter. 

"In  a  miserable  hovel  along  the  banks  of  the  Platte,  at  the 
foot  of  Thirty-fifth  street,  Jeremiah  B.  Ketchum,  wasted  to  a  skel- 
eton by  an  illness  lasting  for  nearly  a  year,  died  this  morning. 
There  are  some, peculiar  circumstances  connected  with  Mr.  Ketch- 
urn's  case.  It  was  just  nine  months  ago  Sunday  since  he  was 
stricken  with  what  was  supposed  to  be  paralysis.  Mrs.  Rice,  resid- 
ing at  1451  South  Fourteenth  street,  gave  him  magnetic  treat- 
ments. Mr.  Ketchum  was  56  years  old,  leaves  a  wife,  but  no 
children.  He  served  three  years  in  the  army  and  received  a  small 
pension  of  $6.00  per  month,  which  amount  is  all  the  money  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Ketchum  have  had  to  live  on  for  the  past  year.  Mrs. 
Rice,  Sister  Peterson  and  others  have  donated  food  and  clothing 
to  them  during  the  man's  illness.  The  funeral  of  Jerry  B.  Ketchum, 
an  account  of  whose  mysterious  illness  and  death  appeared  in  the 
Times-Sun  of  yesterday,  took  place  from  the  undertaking  rooms 
of  Farmer  &  Hale,  on  Tremont  street.  Sister  Peterson,  of  the 
Haymarket  Mission,  conducted  the  services,  and  many  friends  of 
those  who  administered  comfort  to  him  during  his  sickness  were 
present.  The  burial  was  at  Riverside." 


246  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

One  evening  I  went  in  and  found  this  poor  brother  suffering 
dreadfully.  I  went  to  his  bed,  and  while  I  was  praying  to  myself 
I  waited  for  the  Spirit  to  reveal  something  to  me  that  I  might  do 
to  relieve  his  suffering.  And  the  Spirit  said  to  me:  "Go  stand  at 
the  head  of  the  bed."  I  obeyed,  and  again  I  listened  to  the  Spirit; 
and  just  plain  as  one  could  speak,  the  Spirit  said:  "Go  put  your 
hands  on  his  limbs."  The  moment  I  did  so  the  same  feelings  he 
experienced  went  all  over  my  arm  and  into  the  side  of  my  face, 
till  one  might  pinch  my  cheek  and  I  could  not  feel  anything.  I 
could  bite  my  lips,  and  they  were  numb.  I  was  not  one  bit  afraid, 
for  I  knew  the  Lord  had  done  it.  I  knew  he  would  show  me  what 
to  do.  I  told  Brother  Ketchum  and  his  wife  how  the  Lord  had 
led  me  to  do  what  I  had  done,  and  that  J  believed  he  would  reveal 
to  me  just  what  he  wanted  us  to  do  to  relieve  Mr.  Ketchum's  suf- 
fering. It  was  growing  late,  and  I  had  to  go  home  to  be  at  the 
gospel  wagon  by  7.  I  knew  the  Lord  would  reveal  something 
before  morning.  On  my  way  home  I  asked  the  Lord  what  he 
meant,  and  I  had  not  reached  home  when  I  knew  as  surely  as  if 
a  person  had  told  me.  The  Spirit  said :  "Go  and  get  Mrs.  Rice 
to  rub  him.  "  I  told  Mr.  Peterson  and  Jennie  what  had  happened, 
and  Mrv  Peterson  said :  "Rachel,  I  have  been  telling  you  for  years 
you  would  some  time  get  some  dreadful  disease  that  you  would 
never  get  over,  or  bring  it  home  and  give  it  to  the  rest  of 
us."  He  tried  to  persuade  me  not  to  go  to  the  street  meet- 
ing. I  told  him  I  knew  the  Lord  would  care  for  me;  that  I  got 
it  by  obeying  the  leadings  of  the  Spirit,  and  knew  no  harm  would 
come  of  it.  My  niece  and  I  went  to  the  street  meeting.  Before 
the  meeting  was  over  the  numbness  left  me.  I  was  always  so  tired 
from  the  power  of  the  Spirit  upon  me  in  the  wagon,  that  after 
the  meeting  I  went  home,  thinking  it  was  just  as  well  to  have 
Sister  Worthiam  go  and  see  Brother  Ketchum,  for  I  was  too  tired 
to  go  so  far  after  Sister  Rice.  I  knew  the  Lord  had  said  Sister 
Rice,  but  I  thought  I  would  try  Sister  Worthiam  first,  anyway. 
It  was  my  own  idea.  I  gave  Sister  Worthiam  the  number  of 
the  house,  and  the  street,  and  she  went  to  see  him.  When  I 
went  down  the  next  morning  she  had  gone,  and  Brother  Ketchum 
said  to  me:  "If  that  Mrs.  Rice  is  like  this  woman  who  has  just 
gone  you  are  surely  mistaken  in  your  leading."  I  said :  "Brother 
Ketchum,  the  Lord  did  not  lead  me  to  get  her;  but  I  knew  she 
had  done  some  wonderful  healing,  and  I  thought  I  would  try  her 
and  save  going  so  far."  Though  she  had  not  the  gift  Sister  Rice 
had,  people  had  been  healed  through  her  prayers.  Sister  Rice's 
gift  was  magnetic  healing,  a  wonderful  blessing  to  the  suffering. 
Sister  Rice  was  one  who  believed  in  the  Son  of  God.  She  did 
not  depend  wholly  upon  wonderful  works  and  gifts  for  her  salva- 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THB     fcOUGH  247 

tion.  I  had  seen  her  often  at  the  Tabernacle,  and  God  surely 
blessed  her  gift  in  relieving  Brother  Ketchum's  suffering;  but  it 
was  not  the  will  of  God  that  he  should  live  any  longer.  He  showed 
his  life  would  be  lengthened,  but  he  did  not  tell  me  how  long.  Sister 
Rice  thought  the  devil  had  something  to  do  with  his  not  getting 
well.  I  did  not  tell  Sister  Rice  all  the  particulars  in  regard  to 
Brother  Ketchum.  Two  weeks  before  I  told  her  she  need  not  treat 
him  any  longer,  that  her  gift  had  ceased  to  do  him  any  good,  and 
he  wanted  her  to  stop.  He  asked  me  if  I  would  let  her  know; 
he  hated  to  tell  her,  she  had  been  so  kind  to  him.  He  said  he  knew 
her  treatment  was  making  him  weaker,  yet  he  said  he  would  rather 
suffer  than  to  tell  her;  the  Lord  surely  would  bless  her  for  the 
good  she  had  done.  How  reasonable  it  looked  to  one  who  under- 
stands God's  ways!  If  these  gifts  would  never  fail,  but  always 
cure,  there  would  be  no  one  sick  or  dying,  and  it  would  mean  to 
live  forever.  But  the  same  God  who  gave  the  gift  to  heal,  and  faith 
for  the  sick  to  rise  and  walk,  can  also  take  the  virtue  out  of  the 
gift,  and  withhold  faith,  when  it  comes  time  to  die.  There  is  only 
one  thing  we  can  partake  of  that  will  cause  us  to  live  forever. 
Gen.  3 122 :  "Behold,  the  man  is  become  as  one  of  us,  to  know 
good  and  evil :  and  now,  lest  he  put  forth  his  hand,  and  take  also  of 
the  tree  of  life,  and  live  forever."  He  put  forth  a  flaming  sword 
to  protect  the  tree  of  life  from  man.  He  could  trust  man  no  more. 
Every  gift  must  fail  when  the  time  comes.  All  these  things,  even 
faith,  spoken  of  in  I  Cor.,  where  he  said  love  never  faileth;  but 
whether  there  be  prophecy  it  shall  fail ;  whether  knowledge  it  shall 
vanish  away.  May  God  help  us  to  have  this  love,  the  one  thing 
that  never  fails.  And  how  to  get  this  as  Brother  Ketchum  did? 
Repent  of  your  sins  and  have  faith  in  the  blood  of  Christ;  and 
love  one  another,  so  that  you  will  talk  of  people's  good  qualities  and 
not  their  bad  ones.  There  is  no  life  outside  of  Christ  that  is  right. 
Jer.  9:8:  "Their  tongue  is  as  an  arrow  shot  out;  it  speaketh 
deceit;  one  speaketh  peacefully  to  his  neighbor  with  his  mouth, 
but  in  his  heart  he  layeth  his  wait."  You  can  always  recognize  that 
kind  of  a  heart;  when  you  see  one  always  condemning  another,  but 
never  speaking  of  their  own  deceit  and  wicked  thoughts.  The 
best  of  us  have  more  or  less  faults,  and  when  we  stand  before 
God,  we,  perhaps,  may  not  stand  as  faultless  as  our  neighbor.  God 
has  warned  us  against  trusting  one  another,  because  he  knows  the 
deception  of  the  human  heart.  He  says  in  the  same  chapter,  4th 
and  5th  verses:  "Take  ye  heed  every  one  of  his  neighbor,  and 
trust  ye  not  in  any  brother :  for  every  brother  will  utterly  supplant, 
and  every  neighbor  will  walk  with  slanders.  And  they  will  deceive 
every  one  his  neighbor,  and  will  not  speak  the  truth."  Without 
this  love  religion  is  nothing.  I  would  not  care  to  be  called  a  chris- 


248  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

tian  if  I  had  not  love  enough  to  love  an  enemy,  and  do  him  good, 
and  live  in  this  world  without  meddling  with  some  one's  business. 
That  is  what  the  devil  ^ijl  have  everyone  doing,  or  some  other 
wicked  thing,  unless  they  are  living  according  to  I  Cor.  13:13: 
"And  now  abideth  faith,  hope,  love,  these  three;  but  the  greatest 
of  these  is  love."  It  means  something  to  get  this  greatest  thing. 
If  we  are  in  the  Way  we  will  have  this  love.  John  14:6:  "Jesus 
sayeth  unto  him,  I  am  the  way,  the  truth,  and  the  life:  no  man 
cometh  unto  the  Father,  but  by  me."  Everything  will  fail  in  our  lives 
but  this,  as  in  Brother  Ketchum's  life.  All  fails  but  Jesus.  So 
many  healers  think  the  mind  rules  the  world.  It  does  not  con- 
trol God's  plans.  Mind,  and  the  world,  and  the  devil  must  stand 
aside  when  God  speaks.  Sister  Rice  said  the  reason  she  failed  in 
curing  Brother  Ketchum  was  that  the  devil  stepped  in,  We  have 
got  to  get  out  of  it  in  some  way,  so  we  put  it  upon  the  devil. 
After  I  had  notified  Sister  Rice  to  stop  treating  him,  he  asked  us  to 
pray  and  fast  together,  and  see  if  God  would  answer  prayer  and 
heal  him.  I  knew  if  through'  fasting  the  Lord  did  not  deepen  the 
desire  in  my  heart,  nothing  would  be  done.  We  must  always  re- 
member, when  we  are  led  by  the  Spirit,  he  not  only  leads,  but  bur- 
dens us,  and  gives  the  desire.  There  is  altogether  a  different  feel- 
ing between  the  fleshly  desire  and  that  the  Spirit  gives.  The  even- 
ing the  Spirit  led  me  to  put  my  hands  on  his  limbs  I  had  a  different 
desire  to  do  something  than  I  ever  had.  Why?  Because  the  Spirit 
gave  me  the  desire.  Do  not  think  that  all  the  days  before  that 
evening  I  did  not  have  a  desire  to  help,  for  I  had,  but  it  was  a 
human  desire.  There  is  such  a  difference  between  the  two  de- 
sires. It  is  such  an  intense  desire — greater  than  a  mother's  desire 
for  her  suffering  child  to  be  relieved.  I  fasted  twenty-four  hours 
and  seemed  farther  away  than  when  I  began.  I  went  to  see 
Brother  Ketchum.  He  had  been  praying  and  so  had  his  wife.  His 
wife  was  sure  she  had  the  faith.  I  told  them  I  was  sorry,  but  God 
did  not  give  me  the  faith.  A  week  went  by  and  still  he  was  no 
better.  He  and  his  wife  could  not  understand  why  he  was  not 
healed,  when  they  had  such  strong  faith.  I  told  them  I  thought 
they  were  mistaken  in  the  leading.  What  they  took  for  faith  was 
only  a  blessing  from  God.  Because  they  had  asked  him  so  ear- 
nestly God  blessed  them,  but  would  not  answer  their  prayers.  His 
wife  said:  "Sister  Peterson,  if  you  had  ever  said  to  me  that 
my  husband  would  get  well,  as  I  believed,  and  as  Sister  Rice  said, 
I  would  never  believe  God  again."  I  said :  "My  sister,  you  may 
depend  that  it  is  ourselves  we  must  doubt,  not  God."  So  they 
made  up  their  minds  it  was  a  blessing  and  not  faith.  My  niece 
sang  two  or  three  of  the  songs  he  loved  so  well,  and  I  prayed.  We 
were  all  ready  to  go  when  the  Spirit  said  to  me:  "Lift  him  from 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  249 

the  bed  and  set  him  in  his  chair."  I  stopped  and  looked  at  him, 
and  said  to  myself  it  would  be  impossible  for  me  to  lift  him,  not 
stopping  to  think  if  I  would  obey,  the  Spirit  would  help  me.  I 
started  toward  the  door.  The  power  of  the  Spirit  came  upon  my 
shoulders,  and  I  felt  such  strength  running  down  my  arms.  I  turned 
and  said :  "Brother  Ketchum,  the  Lord  wants  me  to  lift  you  out  of 
that  bed  and  put  you  on  your  chair."  He  smiled  and  said :  "Do  you 
think  for  one  moment  you  could  lift  me,  when  my  limbs  are  like 
saw-logs?  I  was  thinking  how  I  could  take  hold  of  this  rope  and 
pull  myself  up,  so  I  could  rest  a  while;  and  then  for  you  to  think 
of  setting  me  in  the  chair,  when  my  wife  cannot  set  me  up  in  the 
bed !  That  is  why  I  have  this  rope  fixed — that  between  her  and  me 
I  can  sit  up."  But  the  Spirit  would  say  to  me:  "Lift  him."-  I  an- 
swered :  "I  must  do  what  the  Spirit  says."  He  said :  "All  right,  you 
can  try,  but  you  know  it  has  taken  two  men  to  lift  me  and  then  it 
almost  kills  me  with  pain."  I  felt  I  had  the  power  of  Samson.  I 
pulled  the  chair  up  by  the  bed,  put  one  foot  on  the  arm  of  the 
chair,  and  one  on  the  side  of  the  bed.  After  I  had  lifted  him  to 
the  edge  of  the  bed,  I  told  his  wife  to  take  his  limbs ;  and  the  next 
second  I  had  him  in  the  chair.  It  seemed  I  could  lift  as  much 
again.  I  had  no  more  than  set  him  in  the  chair  when  a  pain  took 
him  in  the  back.  It  was  so  severe  he  screamed.  The  Spirit  said 
to  me :  "Get  down  off  the  bed  and  put  your  hand  on  his  back." 
In  a  second  I  placed  my  hand  over  the  pain,  and  quicker  than  I 
can  tell  you  the  pain  left  his  back  and  went  to  his  bowels.  He 
gave  another  scream  that  would  pierce  your  heart.  I  put  my 
hand  on  his  bowels  as  I  had  on  his  back,  and  the  pain  went  to  his 
his  throat,  and  stopped  his  breathing  till  he  gasped  for  breath 
and  his  eyes  grew  gJassy.  Every  time  I  put  my  hand  where  the 
pain  was  I  told  him  to  ask  Jesus  to  help  him.  The  words  would 
come  forcibly  every  time:  "Tell  Jesus  to  help  him."  By  the  time 
the  pain  got  to  his  throat,  I  said  in  loud  voice:  "Brother  Ketchum, 
why  do  you  not  call  on  Jesus  to  help  you?"  The  second  time 
I  said  this  I  took  him  by  the  shoulder  with  one  hand,  and 
still  held  my  other  hand  on  his  throat,  and  said  again:  "Brother 
Ketchum,  why  do  you  not  call  on  Jesus?"  and  he  got  his  breath. 
The  first  breath  he  drew  he  said :  "Jesus,  help."  And  I  tell  you  he 
meant  it,  too.  The  pain  left  him,  and  that  experience  ever  after 
taught  him  how  to  call  upon  Tesus.  It  was  wonderful,  after  he 
learned  to  talk  to  the  Lord  as  he  would  to  a  person,  just  as  the  Lord 
wants  everyone  of  us  to  talk  to  him.  Then  the  Lord  could  lead 
him;  before  that  he  could  not  lead  him  in  anything.  He  looked 
to  the  Lord  for  what  he  should  eat  and  drink,  and  even  the  time 
when  he  should  sleep.  If  he  obeved  he  would  not  suffer  much, 
but  if  he  disobeyed  in  one  thine  he  suffered  with  his  head,  and 


250  THE      LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

back,  and  bowels,  so  he  could  not  sleeo.  He  did  not  disobey  often 
before  he  learned  to  do  just  as  the  Spirit  told  him.  We  brought 
him  all  kinds  of  nice  things  to  eat,  and  every  time  the  Spirit  told 
him  not  to  eat  it  we  could  not  get  him  to.  One  day  someone 
brought  him  some  fish,  and  he  wanted  so  much  to  eat  it,  but  the 
Spirit  told  him  not  to.  He  waited  a  while  and  then  said :  "I  be- 
lieve I  can  eat  a  little,  and  it  will  not  hurt  me."  He  did,  and 
suffered  untold  agony  with  his  bowels  all  night.  This  was  the 
last  time  I  know  of  his  disobeying  the  Spirit.  He  would  tell  his 
wife,  to  a  minute,  when  the  Lord  would  let  him  go  to  sleep.  He 
would  say:  "Wife,  Jesus  says  I  can  go  to  sleep,"  at  this  or  that 
hour,  and  he  would  sleep  as  peacefully  as  a  little  child.  He  never 
called  the  Lord  anything  but  Jesus  from  the  time  I  lifted  him  out 
of  the  bed  till  he  died. 

He  kept  getting  weaker  and  weaker  till  the  end  came.  If  you 
doubt  one  word  of  this  story,  his  wife  is  living  within  a  few  blocks 
of  the  Swansea  school.  Every  one  knows  her.  Her  name  is  now 
Harrington.  She  will  tell  you  every  word  I  have  said  is  true.  He 
had  a  beautiful  vision  of  heaven  before  he  died.  He  would  say: 
"Sister  Peterson,  if  you  could  only  see  what  I  have  seen,  you  would 
not  want  to  stay  here."  He  said  this  world  seemed  like  night  all 
the  time  compared  to  the  brightness  of  the  other  world.  He  told 
me,  two  days  before  he  died,  that  Jesus  was  coming  at  the  dawn 
of  the  new  day  for  him.  He  said:  "It  may  be  several  hours  that 
I  cannot  speak,  but  I  want  you  to  remember  what  I  tell  you,  and 
after  I  am  gone  I  want  you  to  go  to  the  window,  and  pull  back  the 
curtain  and  see  what  I  tell  you  to  be  true.  It  will  be  just  as  the 
gray  dawn  is  creeping  over  the  earth  when  I  sro."  And  so  it  was. 
He  went  home,  to  meet  his  Lord.  I  told  his  -wife  to  send  for  me 
when  she  thought  his  time  was  near.  I  told  her  to  tell  the  one  she 
sent  to  rap  on  the  front  bedroom  window,  and  ut  i  o'clock  that 
night  they  rapped  for  me.  I  was  not  long  dressing,  and  was  soon 
on  my  w.ay.  He  could  not  speak  when  I  sot  there,  but  he  knew 
me.  How  often  his  wife  and  I  speak  of  him  now — even  while  I 
write  this  story.  We  will  meet  him  in  heaven.  My  object  is  not  to 
get  the  readers  of  this  book  to  depend  upon  wonderful  works,  or 
great  talent,  or  anything  that  they  can  see,  but  to  have  the  fruits 
of  the  Spirit  in  love.  It  is  nothing  to  be  surprised  at,  for  the  Lord 
tells  us  in  his  word  that  the  word  will  be  preached  in  contention. 
Phil,  i  :i5,  16,  17,  will  show  you  there  are  those  who  will  do  the 
wonderful  works  and  they  themselves  be  lost.  Those  that  hear 
the  word  may  be  helped.  It  will  not  amount  to  much  even  if  they 
have  power  to  cast  out  devils,  as  spoken  of  in  Matt.  7,  if  the  one 
who  gets  the  devil  cast  out  of  him  does  not  q-o  to  Christ  and  let 
him  reign  in  his  heart.  It  will  not  take  loner  for  the  devil  to  come 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  2$I 

back,  and  he  will  be  worse  when  he  returns  than  in  the  beginning. 
In  those  four  verses  you  will  see  how  many  ways  Christ  was 
preached.  In  the  I5th:  "Some  indeed  preach  Christ  even  of  envy 
and  strife;  and  some  of  good  will."  i6th  verse:  "The  one 
preach  Christ  of  contention,  not  sincerely."  I7th  verse:  "But  the 
other  of  love."  In  the  i8th,  Paul  savs:  "What  then?  notwith- 
standing, every  way,  whether  in  pretence,  or  in  truth,  Christ  is 
preached."  No  matter  how  hard  they  work,  or  preach,  or  how 
great  and  wonderful  it  may  seem  to  man.  if  it  is  not  in  good  will 
and  love,  what  does  it  amount  to  for  their  salvation,  if  they  do  not 
live  according  to  the  nth  verse  of  the  same  chapter?  It  will  not 
profit  them  anything,  for  God  tells  them  it  will  not.  He  says: 
"Though  we  give  our  bodies  to  be  burned  and  have  not  love  it 
profiteth  us  nothing."  We  can  easily  tell  if  we  have  this  love  per- 
fected in  our  hearts.  We  are  not  going  to  say  anything  to  of- 
fend our  enemies  or  hurt  their  feelings.  James  3  :2 :  "For  in  many 
things  we  offend  all.  If  any  man  offend  not  in  word,  the  same  is  a 
perfect  man,  and  able  to  bridle  the  whole  body."  If  we  can  get 
the  tongue  where  it  belongs,  and  keep  it  there,  then  we  can  live 
according  to  Phil.  2 :3 :  "Let  nothing  be  done  through  strife." 
James  3:8:  "For  the  tongue  is  full  of  deadly  poison."  But  they 
do  what  Paul  says  is  done  in  Phil.  1:15.  They  preach  with  enmity 
and  strife  in  their  hearts  when  Tames  tells  us  in  the  3d  chapter, 
1 4th  verse:  "But  if  ye  have  bitter  envying  and  strife  in  your  hearts, 
glory  not,  and  lie  not  against  the  truth."  That  is  why  so  few  can 
say  "Amen"  or  "Praise  God"  in  meetings,  because  it  is  not  in  their 
hearts,  and  if  it  is  not  in  their  hearts  how  can  thev  say  it  or  love 
to  hear  anyone  else  say  it?  You  tell  them  that  is  why  they  can- 
not praise  God  aloud  any  more  than  they  do.  They  have  not  the 
strength  to  do  it  because  there  is  too  much  strife  in  their  Hearts  at 
home.  It  takes  a  great  deal  more  power  to  praise  God  aloud  than 
in  your  hearts.  It  takes  more  of  an  effort  to  speak  your  thoughts 
than  to  think.  Some  may  tell  you  they  have  no  strife  or  bitterness 
in  their  hearts,  but  let  any  little  thine  cross  them,  regardless  of 
any  one's  wish,  and  see  how  auick  strife  and  bitterness  will  spring 
up.  They  may  not  say  much,  but  you  can  soon  tell  that  your  room  is 
better  than  your  company,  and  you  can  see  that  the  ugly  feeling 
is  there,  in  the  place  of  that  sweet,  pure,  peaceable,  gentle  and 
merciful  feeling  going  out  from  you  to  the  one  who  has  done 
something  you  do  not  like,  as  is  spoken  of  in  Tames  3-17,  where 
God  tells  us  to  show  and  have  mercv.  If  no  one  ever  did  any- 
thing that  called  for  mercv  we  would  never  neetf  to  use  it ;  and  the 
only  way  to  use  it,  is  to  act  it  in  our  lives.  God  knew  the  human 
race  so  well  he  knew  we  would  have  to  show  mercy,  one  to  an- 
other, and  not  sacrifice.  There  are  manv  workers  called  mission- 


252  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

aries  who  are  not  at  all  willing  to  make  allowance.  They  have 
been  so  filled  with  self  they  could  not  bear  to  hear  me  say  amen  or 
glory,  and  they  themselves  could  not  say  it  above  a  whisper.  Sis- 
ter M —  comes  to  my  mind.  She  left  the  Haymarket  Mission  because 
she  could  not  bear  to  hear  me  praise  God.  It  would  never  have 
done  for  her  to  have  lived  in  the  time  when  the  Lord  told  all  the 
people  to  say  amen.  There  are  many  times  the  heart  may  not  be 
right  when  one  says  amen,  and  his  amen  may  be  sounding  brass 
and  tinkling  cymbal,  though  his  heart  be  right  and  ours  not. 
Then  is  when  the  amen  sounds  to  us  like  sounding  brass  and 
tinkling  cymbal  spoken  of  in  I  Cor.  13.  This  verse  says  they  had 
not  the  love  they  thought  they  had.  but  were  like  Peter,  when  he 
said  he  would  follow  the  Lord,  even  to  death,  and  then  denied  him. 
He  thought  he  meant  it,  but  found  he  did  not.  And  when  I  hear 
an  amen  that  sounds  like  that,  I  say :  "Well,  God  bless  "them ;  they 
will  find  out  some  day,  as  Peter  did,  and  do  better."  Ever  since  I 
have  been  a  Christian  I  have  had  love  enough  never  to  desire  to 
leave  a  church  for  some  little  thine  another  said  or  did,  when  I, 
perhaps,  was  full  of  more  faults  in  the  sight  of  God,  and  perhaps 
in  the  eyes  of  the  one  I  was  looking-  at.  Thank  God  he  has  given 
me  the  love  spoken  of  in  I  Peter,  4 :8.  For  love  shall  cover  a 
multitude  of  sins;  as  with  a  mother  who  can  see  the  faults  of  her 
children,  but  has  no  wish  to  leave  her  home,  or  to  get  the  boy  or 
girl  to  leave,  because  they  do  not  do  just  as  she  would  have  them. 
She  has  love  enough  to  know  what  love  is.  Prov.  17:17  tells  us: 
"A  friend  loveth  at  all  times."  Love  worketh  no  ill  to  its  neighbor. 
He  will  not  harm  even  the  one  that  has  wronged  him. 

I  would  rather  be  blind  to  any  other  truth  in  the  bible  than  these 
two;  first/  love;  second,  that  Christ  was  conceived  by  the  Holy 
Ghost  as  the  Son  of  God.  We  surely  can  tell  the  difference,  for 
even  the  wicked  in  olden  times  could  see  the  difference  between 
the  works  of  the  devil  and  those  of  the  disciples.  John  9:31 :  "Now 
we  know  that  God  heareth  not  sinners."  In  the  i6th  verse,  others 
said:  "How  can  a  man  that  is  a  sinner  do  such  miracles?"  We 
may  use  gifts  to  relieve  suffering  till  nature  restores  them  again 
to  health.  We  may  do  wonderful  works,  but  that  is  not  salvation; 
and  their  works  do  not  last  as  long  as  Pharoah's  wise  men's  snakes 
did. 

One  more  line  of  thought  I  would  like  to  mention,  because  this 
question  has  repeatedly  been  asked  me:  Why  is  it  our  loved  ones 
— husband,  mother  or  children — have  to  suffer  as  they  do?  What 
have  they  done?  If  they  must  go,  whv  does  the  Lord  not  take 
them  without  suffering  so  much.  The  word  of  God  plainly  tells 
us,  and  yet  the  ones  who  should  understand  it  fail  to  grasp  this 
truth.  Those  are  the  ones  who  suffer.  Show  me  one  who  has 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  253 

traveled  very  far  on  life's  pathway  who  does  not  suffer!  The 
whole  world  suffers,  young  and  old,  rich  and  poor;  but  God  tells 
us  it  is  better  to  suffer  for  well-doing  than  for  evil-doing.  The 
world  suffers,  but  there  is  no  reward  promised  them;  and  there 
were  people  then  who  believed  in  Christ  and  were  as  foolish  as 
they  are  today.  Paul  said 'to  them  in  Gal.  3:1:  "O  foolish  Gala- 
tians."  And  then  in  the  3d  verse:  "Are  ye  so  foolish?"  and  in 
the  4th  verse:  "Have  ye  suffered  so  many  things  in  vain?  it  it  be 
yet  in  vain."  I  can  imagine  them  saying  to  Paul,  as  they  do  to 
me,  every  time  I  meet  one  who  is  suffering,  some  mentally,  some 
physically,  some  with  sorrows  that  almost  break  their  hearts — I 
can  hear  them  say  to  Paul:  "Whv  do  I  have  to  suffer  like  this? 
What  did  I  ever  do  that  I  have  to  suffer  as  I  do?  Well,  Paul,  I 
will  not  stand  it.  I  do  not  think  God  wants  me  to  suffer  so,  and 
I  tell  you  I  intend  to  make  them  prove  their  words  or  I  will  put 
them  behind  the  bars."  Then  I  hear  Paul  say:  "Who  has  be- 
witched you?  Do  those  that  work  miracles,  do  it  by  the  works 
of  the  law?"  In  Gal.  2:20,  Paul  tells  them:  "I  live;  yet  not  I, 
but  Christ  liveth  in  me."  And  as  he  suffered  from  those  who  en- 
forced the  law,  he  thought  of  Christ  suffering  the  same ;  and  I 
hear  him  say :  "Ye  foolish  Galatians."  I  Peter  2 :2i :  "Because 
Christ  also  suffered  for  us,  leaving  us  an  examole.  that  we  should 
follow  his  steps;  who  did  no  sin."  And  I  hear  him  say:  "Have 
you  forgotten  what  Peter  told  you?  If  your  consciences  are 
right  towards  God,  or  if  you  'want  to  have  a  good  conscience, 
endure  grief  and  suffering  wrongfully.  This  kind  of  suffering  is 
thankworthy,  and  God  will  accept  it."  (I  Pet.  2:19.)  That  is,  if 
you  take  it  patiently;  it  will  be  acceptable  with  God,  and  he  will 
reward  you,  and  this  will  be  your  reward.  (II  Tim.  2:12)  :  "If  we 
suffer,  we  shall  also  reign  with  him;  if  we  deny  him,  he  also  will 
deny  us."  How  many  deny  his  name,  when  it  comes  to  suffering, 
by  getting  out  of  it  one  way  or  another:  and  if  thev  do  not  get 
out  of  it,  it  is  not  their  fault.  They  do  their  best,  and  if  they 
cannot,  they  ask  God  to  help  them.  What  kind  of  a  reward  shall 
they  have?  They  will  ask  him,  whether  thev  intend  to  take  it 
patiently  or  not.  What  does  patiently  mean?  Not  to  fret,  worry 
or  complain  under  your  cross,  but  bear  it  without  getting  nervous, 
as  some  say;  but  with  the  kind  of  patience  referred  to  in  I  Pet. 
3:9.  That  is  the  kind  we  should  have.  "Not  rendering  evil  for 
evil,  or  railing  for  railing;  but  contrariwise,  blessing;  knowing  that 
yet  are  thereunto  called,  that  ye  should  inherit  a  blessing."  That 
is  why  so  few  people  receive  a  blessing.  They  take  revenge  upon 
those  who  wronged  them ;  and  if  they  cannot,  they  have  it  in  their 
hearts,  talk  about  them,  and  are  angry  with  them;  and  often 
get  up  in  a  class-meeting  and  tell  how  thev  have  suffered,  and 


254  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

what  they  have  endured.  And  from  the  exoression  of  their  faces 
they  have  not  gotten  very  much  of  a  blessing  from  it,  because 
they  have  not  endured  at  all.  They  were  not  kind,  and  gentle,  and 
loving  through  the  suffering.  There  is  onlv  one  kind  of  suffering 
God  will  reward,  and  that  is  the  one  he  tells  us  of  in  II  Tim. 
3:12:  "Yea,  and  all  that  will  live  godly  in  Christ  Jesus  shall  suffer 
persecution."  Mark  those  three  words !  and  then  show  me  one  out 
of  a  thousand  who  will  live  and  suffer  this  kind  of  persecution  if 
they  can  get  out  of  it.  They  generally  find  a  way  out  somehow, 
by  the  law,  or  a  church  trial.  What  is  this  but  a  fault,  if  not  a  sin, 
if  they  run  away  from  suffering ;  and  then  God  punishes  them  for 
their  sin.  (I  Pet.  2:20.)  He  sends  punishment  on  them  that  they 
must  endure.  There  is  no  way  out.  God  requires  that  they  take 
it  patiently,  because  they  are  being:  buffeted  for  their  faults ;  but 
I  never  saw  one  who  was  always  trying  to  get  out  of  suffering, 
and  have  an  easy  time,  and  their  way  regardless  of  anyone,  who 
would  not  be  impatient  in  suffering  for  his  faults,  and  go  around 
with  a  face  as  long  as  a  broomstick,  growling  like  a  bear  with  a 
sore  head,  and  kicking  at  everything  and  nothing,  just  because 
they  are  wrong.  The  one  who  is  always -going  about  telling  of 
this  and  that  one's  wrong-doings,  and  forgets  about  himself — tell 
me  that  kind  of  Christian  is  fit  to  suffer  with  patience  that  is  ac- 
ceptable to  God.  I  say  never,  if  I  understand  the  scripture.  It 
shows  they  never  have  suffered  in  a  wav  that  has  pleased  God. 
If  they  had  they  would  not  be  so  'foolish  as  to  ask  what  they  had 
done,  or  why  they  had  to  suffer  like  that,  when  they  know  they 
got  up  in  class-meeting,  and  prayer  meetings  almost  all  their  lives, 
and  testified  that  they  knew  they  did  things  they  ought  not,  and 
left  undone  things  they  knew  they  should  do. 

Now  mind  what  you  say  you  know.  God  says  in  Luke  12 :47, 
48:  "And  that  servant  which  knew  his  lord's  will,  and  prepared 
not  himself,  neither  did  according  to  his  will,  shall  be  beaten 
with  many  stripes."  Some  are  stripes  of  poverty,  others  the  stripes 
of  affliction,  others  troubles,  and  sorrows,  and  sufferings ;  and  then 
they  ask  why  they  have  to  suffer.  You  had  forgotten  you  testified 
in  prayer  meeting  that  you  knew  the  Lord's  will  and  did  not  do 
it.  Oh,  my  dear  reader!  I  pray,  after  vou  have  read  this  book, 
you  will  see  and  never  have  to  ask  the  question,  why  you  have  to 
suffer.  Read  the  48th  verse  of  this  chapter,  and  you  will  see  the 
children  of  God  suffer  more  than  the  children  of  the  world.  No 
wonder  God  tells  us,  "Manv  are  the  afflictions  of  the  righteous ;" 
but  he  will  deliver  us  if  we  listen  to  his  word.  He  tells  us  in  Heb. 
12:7:  "If  ye  endure  chastening,  God  dealeth  with  you  as  with 
sons."  If  ye  will  not,  you  go  on  kicking,  and  finding  fault,  and 
having  hateful  feelings  toward  some  one,  just  because  the  children 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  2$5 

are  cross,  or  your  husband  does  not  do  as  you  think  he  should, 
or  says  something  he  ought  not;  and  you  take  it  up  and  then 
there  is  a  fuss.  Can  God  deal  with  you  as  a  son,  when  for  a  week 
or  two  you  are  all  right,  and  then  up  comes  the  same  trouble 
again?  And  when  we  won't  endure  chastening  what  can  God  do 
with  us?  He  says  if  ye  be  without  chastisement  then 
are  ye  bastards,  and  not  sons.  What  are  you  going  to  do  with 
"once  in  grace,  always  in  grace?"  This  means  the  children  of  God, 
for  the  children  of  the  world  get  their  chastening;  for  as  they  sow 
to  the  flesh,  they  reap  corruption.  Their  chastening  is  so  different. 
God  says  in  the  loth  verse  of  this  chapter:  "For  they  verily  for  a 
few  days  chastened  us  after  their  own  pleasure;  but  he  for  our 
profit,  that  we  might  be  partakers  of  his  holiness."  Now  if  we 
are  not  made  better,  and  do  not  become  holy  and  without  sin  by 
suffering,  our  suffering  has  not  done  us  any  good ;  and  what  are 
we  but  bastards?  II  Pet.  I:Q:  "But  he  that  lacketh  these  things 
is  blind,  and  cannot  see  afar  off,  and  hath  forgotten  that  he  was 
purged  from  his  old  sins."  Lacks  what?  Patience,  kindness,  love; 
that  love  I  was  telling  you  about.  I  have  seen  Christians  who 
could  not  be  kind  to  those  who  have  never  done  them  a  wrong,  to 
say  nothing  of  their  enemies.  And  the  reason  they  could  not,  was 
because  they  did  not  like  them.  Now,  let  me  tell  you,  if  you  have 
this  love,  then  you  will  have  this  kindness,  and  will  endure  with 
patience.  Some  will  say  why  could  not  God  have  some  way  other 
than  suffering.  He  had;  and  they  were  not  satisfied  in  the  Gar- 
den of  Eden.  And  when  we  are  well,  with  enough  to  eat  and 
wear,  and  a  place  to  sleep,  we  want  something  else;  or  if  not,  we 
are  doing  or  saying  something  that  we  know  is  wrong.  What  a 
foolish  question !  We  might  as  well  ask  why  God  did  not  have  some 
other  plan  of  salvation.  We  will  get  our  answer  in  Heb.  2:10: 
"For  it  became  him,  for  whom  are  all  things,  and  by  whom  are  all 
things,  in  bringing  many  sons  into  glory,  to  make  the  Captain  of 
their  salvation  perfect  through  sufferings."  Then  surely  "it  will  be- 
come us,  if  suffering  became  him.  Oh,  how  reasonable  it  is!  He 
suffered  to  make  our  salvation  perfect.  We  have  to  suffer  to  be 
made  perfect,  in  order  to  be  fit  to  receive  and  keep  that  which  is 
perfect  through  suffering;  and  .we  who  have  a  half-sight  in  this 
great  plan  of  salvation,  ought  to  be  willing  to  suffer  anything. 
A*nd  if  we  are  not  so  full  of  self  and  selfishness  that  we  cannot 
see,  then  we  can  look  at  this  in  a  reasonable  way,  and  will  not  find 
fault  if  we  suffer.  Some  things  we  bring  upon  ourselves,  finding 
fault  and  murmuring  as  did  the  children  of  Israel,  and  committing  a 
greater  sin  than  they,  for  we  have  more  light.  If  we  believe  in  God  at 
all.  we  must  believe  all  suffering  is  for  our  good.  If  we  are  not 
willing,  believing  this,  where  is  our  faith?  The  devil  believed, 


256  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

and  his  faith  was  so  great  he  trembled;  but  it  failed  to  do  him 
good.  It  looks  as  if  this  were  the  kind  of  faith  we  have,  when 
it  comes  to  suffering,  if  we  can't  do  as  God  tells  us  in  James  i  :2, 
3,  4:  "My  brethren,  count  it  all  joy  when  ye  fall  into  divers  tempta- 
tions; knowing  this,  that  the  trying  of  your  faith  worketh  pa- 
ience.  But  let  patience  have  her  perfect  work,  that  ye  may  be  per- 
fect and  entire,  wanting  nothing."  Now  do  you  see  the  need  of 
suffering,  the  only  way  to  perfection  and  holiness?  It  is  not  just 
to  believe  you  have  a  clean  heart ;  oh,  no ;  it  is  to  believe  and  have 
faith  that  if  you  will  be  patient  in  all  your  suffering,  it  will  make 
you  perfect.  It  is  not  done  by  just  believing.  The  reason  you 
will  be  perfect  is  because  it  is  the  truth.  We  are  made  clean 
through  the  truth,  and  to  get  this  truth  in  our  lives,  it  must  come 
through  suffering,  and  not  faith  alone ;  for  faith  is  dead,  being 
alone.  So  we  must  humble  ourselves,  under  the  mighty  hand  of 
suffering  and  affliction,  and  chastisement.  Let  it  be  poverty,  or 
any  other  kind  of  sorrow,  the  sooner  we  will  be  made  perfect.  We 
are  not  to  dictate  how  many  times,  or  how  long,  we  are  to  suffer 
or  pass  through  chastisement  before  we  are  made  perfect.  That  is 
for  God  to  say;  for  we  cannot  see,  as  he  can,  the  imperfections  in 
us.  It  is  for  us  to  say:  "Lord,  help  me  to  stand  pleasing  in  your 
sight  in  the  time  of  suffering,  for  you  have  said,  in  I  Peter  5:10: 
'After  that  ye  have  suffered  a  while,  make  you  perfect,  stablish, 
strengthen  and  settle  you/  "  Faith  alone  will  not  do  it,  neither  will 
suffering,  unless  we  suffer  showing  the  disposition  of  patience  and 
kindness.  It  takes  all  these  things  together,  to  complete  perfection 
in  our  lives.  Then  I  must  say,  "God  help  us,  and  you  my  dear 
reader,  to  see  what  it  means  to  be  a  Christian." 

Let  us  not  delay  in  doing  as  God  tells  us  to  do  in  I  Pet.  4:1,  2: 
"Forasmuch  then  as  Christ  hath  suffered  for  us  in  the  flesh,  arm 
yourselves  likewise  with  the  same  mind:  for  he  that  hath  suffered 
in  the  flesh  hath  ceased  from  sin."  Surely  we  can  suffer  anything 
that  Paul  suffered.  He  tells  us  in  Phil.  4:12,  that  he  knew  what 
it  was  to  be  hungry  and  suffer  need ;  and  in  Phil.  3 :8 :  "For  whom 
I  have  suffered  the  loss  of  all  things,  and  do  count  them  but  noth- 
ing that  I  may  win  Christ."  That  he  might  live  a  life  like  Christ. 
And  we  must  live  that  kind  of  life.  If  it  were  an  impossibility, 
God  never  would  have  permitted  this  teaching  to  be  written  in  the 
.bible. 

The  last  year's  work  in  the  Haymarke.t  Mission  was  a  busy  year 
for  me,  for  the  sick  brother  I  have  mentioned  took  up  much  of  my 
time,  and  we  had  great  difficulty  getting  a  driver  for  the  gospel 
wagon.  My  niece  and  I  would  walk  two  miles  to  the  street  meet- 
ing, and  two  miles  back  home,  four  miles  every  evening,  beside 
helping  this  sick  man  and  giving  out  clothing  to  twenty-five  farni- 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  257 

lies;  and  there  were  seven  in  our  own  family,  to  cook  and  wash 
for.  Do  you  not  think  we  had  our  hands  full,  without  the  four 
miles  walk,  and  the  sick,  and  the  calls  that  I  had  at  my  home? 
The  car- fare  you  will  find  in  my  report  for  the  year,  was  used  for 
places  too  far  to  walk,  or  when  we  were  late  and  had  to  ride  to 
the  street  meeting.  The  money  I  gave  to  the  poor  that  summer 
was  given  to  me  during  the  revivals  in  the  mountains.  I  did  not 
have  to  beg  the  money  either;  they  would  give  without  asking. 
Those  who  were  called  worldly,  wicked  men  would  get  up  in  meet- 
ings and  say  they  wanted  a  collection  taken ;  that  they  would  not 
attend  a  meeting  where  one  worked  as  hard  as  I  without  giving 
something.  And  they  did  give,  and  it  was  not  grudgingly.  Fol- 
lowing is  a  glimpse  at  our  experience  on  the  gospel  wagon,  as 
shown  by  clippings  from  the  press.  From  the  Denver  Daily  News: 

"DROWNED  THE  GOSPEL  WAGON. 

"Attempt  of  a  Larimer  Street  Saloon-keeper  to  Disperse  a  Party 
of  Evangelists  Who  Were  Conducting  Street  ^Services  in  Front 
of  His  Saloon. 

"Last  night  Dean  Peck's  gospel  wagon  halted  at  Nineteenth  an J 
Larimer  streets,  and  the  occupants  began  to  hold  services,  much  to 
the  disgust  of  the  saloon-keeper.  As  the  crowd  began  to  gather 
the  anger  of  the  saloon-keeper  increased.  He  saw  in  the  crowd 
laborers  who  listened  intently  to  the  men  and  women  on  the  wagon, 
and  he  persuaded  himself  into  believing  his  trade  was  dwindling 
away  by  the  gospel  wagon  route.  The  milk  of  human  kindness 
was  not  his  diet,  so  he  ordered  his  bartender  to  get  out  the  hose 
and  disperse  the  crowd.  The  red-faced  member  of  gang  republi- 
canism responded  with  a  glee  that  betrayed  his  want  of  conversion, 
and  soon  had  an  annoying  stream  at  work  on  the  crowd.  It 
worked  beautifully,  until  Mrs.  Peterson,  who  seeks  the  sinner  from 
the  steps  of  the  chariot,  registered  her  objection.  She  walked 
down  the  step£  toward  the  bartender.  He  began  to  realize  that  a 
Dead  Sea  of  water  would  not  prevent  him  from  being  the  object 
of  attack. 

"'God  help  you,  young  man/  she  said,  as  she  approached  him. 
God's  people  are  not  frightened  by  blood  or  fire.  The  devil  is  in 
your  heart ;  he  is  making  a  tool  of  you.  Do  you  not  see  it,  young 
man?  Repent,  ere  it  is  too  late/  This  proved  effective,  and  the 
bartender  desisted,  afterward  inviting  the  crowd  in  to  drink.  In- 
stead of  doing  so  they  climbed  into  the  wagon,  and  three  of  the 
men  professed  conversion  before  the  devotional  meeting  closed. 
The  wagon  will  be  out  every  night/  said  Dean  Peck,  who  was  at 

17 


258  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

the  mission  last  night  for  the  first  time  in  a  month,  after  a  severe 
illness,  and  a  little  water  will  not  scare  us  a  bit.' 

"The  fire  and  police  board  has  made  an  order  for  the  chief  of 
police  to  protect  Dean  Peck's  gospel  wagon  at  all  hazards.  The 
saloon-keeper  who  made  war  on  the  wagon  with  water  made  a 
mistake.  The  Christian  people  of  our  country  are  used  to  water, 
and  believe  in  it.  Their  war  is  against  stimulants,  and  if  saloon 
men  want  to  hose  them,  they  had  better  use  beer  and  whisky. 
Those  are  the  things  they  fear  most." 

From  the  Denver  Daily  Republican: 

"THE   GOSPEL   WAGON   WORK. 

"Closely  allied  to  the  evangelical  work  of  the  Mission,  during  the 
past  season,  has  been  that  of  the  gospel  wagon,  in  charge  of  Mrs. 
Rachel  W.  Peterson.  I  do  not  believe  that  a  more  effective 
method  was  ever  devised,  to  attract  and  arouse  the  thoughtless, 
unsaved  on  the  street,  than  the  wagon  services;  and  I  am  sure  a 
more  enthusiastic  and  eloquent  leader  never  preached.  The  gospel 
has  been  faithfully  declared  from  the  wagon  to  tens  of  thousands 
of  people  who  otherwise  would  never  have  heard  it,  and  the  re- 
sults have  been  commensurate  with  the  attention  attracted.  Scores 
of  testimonies  have  been  given  in  the  hall,  in  which  it  has  been 
declared  that  the  street  meetings  were  instrumental  in  leading  to 
the  Mission,  and  to  Christ.  The  consciousness  of  the  good  done, 
and  the  favor  of  God,  must  be  the  reward  of  these  workers." 

The  last  year's  Christian  work  at  the  Haymarket  was  the  hardest 
of  all  the  twenty-one  years  of  my  Christian  work.  God  knows  it  was 
a  labor  of  love,  not  for  money,  or  name,  or  selfishness.  It,  indeed, 
was  the  summer  of  sacrifice;  few  knew  it,  for  I  never  explained 
my  work  to  anyone.  I  only  preached  Christ,  and  him  crucified.  I 
do  not  remember  the  time  when  my  faith  was  so  tried,  in  praying  for 
a  driver  for  the  wagon  every  evening.  So  many  evenings  we 
would  be  all  ready  to  go  out  before  the  Lord  sent  a  driver.  One 
evening  the  horses  were  all  ready  but  hitching  the  tugs,  and  not 
a  soul  in  sight.  I  said  to  my  niece,  for  I  knew  she  was  praying 
too:  "I  see  a  man  coming  down  the  street,  almost  a  block  away." 
He  was  a  stranger,  and  I  wondered  if  he  were  the  one  the  Lord 
was  sending.  As  he  was  about  to  pass  the  stable,  I  said  "Lord,  is 
he  the  man?"  I  felt  in  my  heart  the  answer  that  he  was,  and  I 
stepped  up  to  him  and  asked  him  if  he  would  please  drive  the 
wagon  for  that  evening.  He  hesitated  a  moment,  and  I  said : 
"Lord,  put  it  into  his  heart  to  say  yes."  He  said  he  would,  and 
we  thanked  God  for  getting  through  all  right  that  evening.  We 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  25Q 

did  this  way  every  evening  for  weeks.  The  man  I  prayed  God  to 
make'say  yes,  said  he  bet  we  would  not  get  him  on  the  wagon 
again.  I  will  admit  it  was  rather  an  embarrassing  place,  for  half 
the  Christian  people  are  timid,  to  say  nothing  of  such  a  bashful 
sinner  among  such  a  noisy  crowd  as  we  were.  I  suppose  he 
thought  his  time  was  coming,  for  God  had  given  me  a  wonderful 
voice,  so  one  could  hear  me  four  and  five  blocks  away,  and  up  in 
buildings  six  and  seven  stories  high.  The  people  said  all  they 
had  to  do  was  to  raise  the  windows  and  they  were  at  church,  and 
could  hear  the  preacher  all  right.  We  would  stop  on  the  corner 
of  Seventeenth  and  Larimer  streets  thirty  minutes,  and  the  same 
on  Sixteenth  and  Larimer  streets.  The  moment  we  stopped  the 
windows  went  up  in  every  direction,  ready  for  the  meeting.  The 
Lord  surely  blessed  us.  The  devil  only  interfered  a  few  times, 
in  all  the  three  years  we  were  on  the  street.  There  were  a  couple 
of  times  they  threw  eggs  at  us,  but  the  Lord  took  care  of  the  eggs, 
and  they  could  not  hit  us,  so  we  could  not  tell  whether  they  were 
bad  ones  or  not.  Brother  B —  was  away  from  the  meetings  several 
weeks,  the  last  summer  I  was  there,  but  the  Lord  knows  I  did  my 
part,  and  the  i8th  day  of  September  I  got  orders  to  leave  the 
wagon.  That  was  my  reward  from  man,  for  my  summer's  sacri- 
fice and  labor.  The  reward  I  received  from  God,  from  the  hour 
I  received  the  letter  up  to  this  hour,  is  wonderful,  and  has  been  a 
blessing  to  me.  I  want  to  say  a  little  right  here  about  the  labor  of 
love,  and  what  it  means. 

I  have  had  a  great  deal  to  say  about  spiritual  love,  and  the 
sacrifice  of  love.  As  Paul  says,  bear  with  me  a  little  in  my  folly. 
I  have  had  so  much  experience  with  people  of  all  classes,  my 
thoughts  are  plentiful  on  these  lines.  First,  the  word  love  is  the 
most  wonderful  word  in  the  English  language,  or  in  fact,  in  any 
language.  There  are  more  beauties  attached  to  this  word  than  to 
any  other.  The  most  powerful,  the  purest,  the  world  or  even 
heaven  knows.  The  first  word,  and  the  last.  Why?  Because 
God  is  love,  and  he  is  Alpha  and  Omega,  the  beginning  and  the 
end.  This  word  love  is  the  deepest,  the  broadest,  the  widest  and 
highest,  the  richest,  the  grandest,  the  most  tender  and  delicate. 
We  all  must  see  it  will  never  die,  though  it  has  been  crushed  and 
mangled,  bruised  and  driven  away,  smothered,  hindered,  delayed, 
buried  deep  in  the  hearts  and  lives  of  many  a  living  soul,  but  not 
killed.  It  may  be  buried  so  deep  that  one  might  think  it  dead,  but 
it  isn't.  The  trouble  is  it  is  asleep,  or  has  been  driven  away.  And 
if  not  fastened  on  something,  beautiful  pictures,  books  or  nature, 
with  all  its  power  to  attract,  or  on  God,  some  dreadful  sin 
has  made  love  its  victim;  for  love  never  dies.  You  may  hide  it 
away,  you  may  starve  it,  but  let  me  tell  you,  love  never  dies.  It 


26O  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

has  been  said  a  mother's  love  is  next  to  Christ's  love;  but  I  want 
to  ask  here,  is  there  not  a  love  greater  than  a  mother's,  one*nearer 
like  Christ's?  I  put  this  as  a  question,  to  be  answered  by  someone 
competent  to  give  an  answer.  I  find  almost  as  many  barren  of 
this  knowledge  of  love,  as  they  are  barren  of  the  knowledge  of 
what  the  love  of  God  is.  Why  is  the  human  race  so  ignorant  of 
this  wonderful  power?  and  why  is  love  so  wonderful  and  power- 
ful? Because  it  is  truth,  and  purity;  and  truth  and  purity  will 
prevail.  Why  is  a  mother's  love  always  spoken  of  as  the  most  un- 
selfish and  tender?  When  a  minister  of  the  gospel,  or  any  public 
speaker,  wishes  to  refer  to  anything  tender  or  true,  invariably  he 
speaks  of  a  mother's  love  as  that  which  is  the  truest,  most  long- 
suffering  and  lasting  of  any  natural  love.  I  will  tell  you  why  so 
many  say  a  mother's  love  is  the  strongest.  It  is  because  this  love 
is  cultivated.  To  begin  with,  you  never  see  a  noble,  kind,  patient, 
faithful  mother  who  does  not  love  God  with  all  her  heart,  soul, 
mind  and  strength.  This  higher  love  helps  to  cultivate  the  nat- 
ural love,  from  the  hour  she  knows  that  she  will  soon  be  a  mother. 
Through  suffering  she  soon  learns  patience ;  and  with  patience  cul- 
tivated, her  spirit  and  love  become  strong,  tender  and  true. 
Through  suffering,  and  endurance  with  patience,  and  a  constant, 
ever-watchful  care,  ever  ready  and  willing  to  respond  to  every 
need  of  her  babe,  regardless  of  her  own  comfort,  there  is  no  sacri- 
fice she  will  hesitate  to  make.  There  is  no  duty  too  hard  for  her ; 
and  with  the  love  of  God  in  her  heart,  this  mother's  love  is  culti- 
vated with  patience;  and  as  the  child  grows,  so  does  the  mother's 
love.  Her  patience,  also,  is  growing,  and  the  sacrifice  and  self- 
denial  is  only  developing  a  true,  strong  spirit  in  the  mother.  When 
her  child  is  grown,  her  love  has  been  so  cultivated  through  all 
the  years  the  child  has  been  growing  from  babyhood  to  childhood, 
then  to  boyhood  and  manhood.  In  these  different  changes  the 
mother  needs  as  much  patience,  love  and  wisdom  to  develop  and 
exercise  this  same  loving,  true  spirit,  as  we  do  in  the  three  differ- 
ent experiences  in  our  spiritual  progress.  The  children  go  out  into 
this  world,  full  of  temptation,  and  disappointment,  and  sorrow,  and 
suffering;  and  are  many  times  overcome  by  the  power  of  sin.  Can 
they  stray  so  very  far  from  that  love's  influence,  which  has  been 
cultivated  all  these  years  ?  Never,  oh,  no !  Parents  who  cultivate 
a  love  among  their  children,  will  soon  find  the  same  disposition 
manifest  in  their  children.  Sunshine  in  the  hearts  of  the  parents 
will  blossom  in  the  lives  of  the  children;  love  in  the  hearts  of  the 
parents  will  beget  kindness  and  affection  in  the  hearts  of  the 
children. 

God  tells  us,  love  begets  love.     There  is  nothing  truer  in  God's 
word.     This  plan  will  develop  so  strongly  a  mother's  love,  as  well 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  26l 

as  the  child's  love  for  its  mother,  that  nothing  can  break  it.  I 
want  to  know  why  this  plan  will  not  meet  with  the  same  success 
between  husband  and  wife,  as  between  mother  and  child?  Is  it, 
or  can  it  be  possible,  that  a  mother's  love  has  more  power  over  her 
son.  than  a  wife's  has  over  her  husband?  Wife,  I  ask  you  to  start 
out  in  you  married  life  as  godly  and  saintly  as  a  mother  enters 
her  maternal  life;  and  if  love  will  not  beget  love,  then  how  shall 
we  interpret  God's  word?  He  tell  us  it  was  because  of  the  hard- 
ness of  hearts  Moses  granted  divorces.  When  I  hear  of  two  who 
have  lived  together  for  years  and  then  separated,  it  never  fails  to 
tell  me  both  have  failed  to  cultivate  love.  And  when  I  hear  of 
two  separating  whose  lives  together  have  been  short,  I  think  they, 
too,  have  failed  to  cultivate  love  as  does  the  mother.  I  know  if 
every  wife  and  husband  would  begin,  as  soon  as  they  are  married, 
and  pay  even  more  respect  and  attention  to  each  other,  and  re- 
gard each  other's  wishes  more  than  during  courtship,  they  will  be 
happier  at  the  end  of  five,  or  even  twenty  years,  than  ever  before. 
Go  back  and  read  carefully  what  I  have  said  about  patience,  and 
all  the  acts  of  a  mother  toward  her  young  babe,  and  her  child,  even 
when  grown  to  manhood,  and  then  you  and  your  husband  begin 
to  do,  each  his  part,  as  the  faithful  mother  does  hers,  and  see  if 
you  are  rewarded  for  bearing  with  one  another,  patiently  and 
kindly.  See  if  the  love  of  a  husband  and  wife  is  not  far  above  that 
of  mother  and  son.  It  should  be,  for  the  first  love  after  God's 
love  is  that  of  companionship;  and  if  we  have  the  love  of  God 
in  our  hearts,  so  we  can  appreciate  God's  goodness  to  us  in  this 
relationship,  we  must  acknowledge  it  in  numberless  comforts  and 
blessings;  for  all  things  were  made  for  the  use  of  man,  whereby 
this  life  might  be  a  pleasure;  with  heaven  for  our  goal  if  we  keep 
the  love  of  God  in  our  hearts,  to  help  us  treat  one  another  as  God 
intended  we  should.  If  we  strive  to  keep  God  in  our  hearts  and 
homes,  we  will  keep  sin  out ;  and  when  sin  is  driven  out  selfishness 
will  be  a  stranger  there.  Where  selfishness  is  not,  love  must 
abound,  and  true  happiness.  There  will  be  no  need  of  divorces, 
for  they  come  from  hard  hearts,  and  not  from  not  being  rightly 
mated.  Where  one  loves  and  the  other  does  not,  the  home  is 
something  dreadful.  In  such  a  home  there  is  more  unhappiness 
than  in  the  home  of  the  drunkard,  or  where  jealousy  has  crept  in, 
or  the  home  6f  poverty.  There  is  nothing  to  be  compared  to 
such  a  home.  But  there  is  hope  for  even  these,  if  the  one  who  loves 
will  ask  God  for  common  sense,  and  judgment,  and  knowledge  to 
know  how  to  handle  the  weapon  of  love,  and  be  fully  determined 
to  let  love  conquer,  let  it  cost  what  it  may.  Let  them  say,  "I 
have  counted  the  cost  and  am  willing  to  suffer — to  sacrifice/' 
There  is  nothing  too  hard  to  do  'to  win  respect,  even  though  it 


262  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

take  a  little  time;  what  is  that  to  a  happy  home?  And  ere  long 
love  will  reign  there.  Instead  of  taking  this  course,  it  is  the  re- 
verse, which  means  failure  every  time.  I  have  to  learn,  but  I  can- 
not believe  but  that  they  are  ignorant.  They  have  not  the  knowl- 
edge to  know  how  to  develop  the  greatest  faculty  that  God  ever 
gave  man — love.  We,  as  a  general  thing,  give  it  the  least  study 
and  attention.  That  is  one  reason  there  are  so  many  unhappy  homes, 
and  divorces.  May  God  help  husbands  and  wives  to  open  their 
eyes  to  this  truth  before  it  is  too  late.  Let  me  show  you  the  dif- 
ference between  the  prayerful,  Christian  mother,  and  a  proud,  sel- 
fish, fretful  one.  -  Not  that  we  must  not  sometimes  reprove  or  pun- 
ish. There  is  a  difference  between  reproving  the  child  with  a 
Christian  spirit  and  with  a  worldly  spirit.  Let  me  draw  a  com- 
parison : 

Where  there  is  contention,  scolding  and  fretting  in  the  home, 
love  will  soon  become  a  stranger.  Let  us  get  our  minds  off  the 
cares  of  this  world  enough  to  have  a  little  common  sense  and  a 
few  reasonable  thoughts  in  this  matter.  Notice  these  things,  and 
you  will  find  they  are  every-day  facts.  A  mother  who  always  finds 
fault  with  her  neighbor,  and  thinks  only  of  looking  for  all  the 
bad  she  can  find,  becomes  so  absorbed  in  her  quest  that  she  could 
fall  down  over  the  good  things  and  not  know  it.  People  are  so 
occupied  with  talking  about  the  imperfect  things,  and  their  eyes 
are  so  blinded  to  good,  that  it  becomes  impossible*  for  them  to 
love  anyone  enough  not  to  talk  about  them.  Their  own  children 
listen  to  these  things  from  the  time  they  can  remember,  till  they 
go  out  into  the  world  for  themselves.  Can  you  expect  such  a 
child  to  make  the  world  better,  when  such  example  has  been  his? 
You  will  see  this  spirit  in  school  boys  and  girls,  spiteful,  hateful, 
always  making  some  light  remark,  or  saying  something  about 
others,  that  is  not  their  business.  Why?  Because  they  hear  it  at 
home.  One  who  cultivates  moral  hatred  against  everyone,  never 
likes  anyone  very  long.  James  says,  in  James  3 :5 :  "Behold,  how 
great  a  matter  a  little  fire  kindleth !"  Before  their  own  children 
they  make  criticism  on  the  missteps  of  others  instead  of  getting 
on  their  knees  and  praying  for  them,  knowing  their  children  may 
do  worse.  Look  out !  God  remembers  these  things,  and  plainly 
tells  us  the  sins  of  parents  are  visited  upon  the  children. 
There  is  not  a  greater  sin  than  this,  and  it  is  practiced  by  almost 
everyone.  After  reading  this  book  will  you  go  on,  heedless,  till 
you  regret  with  the  rest  of  us  that  you  and  your  children  did  not  say 
less  and  show  more  mercy  and  love  to  the  human  race,  as  God 
has  shown  mercy  and  love  -to  you ;  or  will  you  still  close  your 
ears  against  this  fact?  God  tells  us,  "They  are  willingly  ignorant." 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  263 

The  time  will  come  when  you  will  say,  "Why  did  not  I  see  this 
sooner?"  Here  I  am,  ready  to  die,  and  have  just  learned  how  to 
live.  If  you  will  but  take  heed  to  one  who  has  gone  through  it! 
The  wheel  of  time  has  gone  at  a  rapid  rate,  and  the  mill  of  experi- 
ence has  ground  fine.  I  am  praying,  as  the  mill  is  grinding,  I  may 
come  into  gold. 

I  am  writing  just  as  I  talk,  and  my  talks  have  never  failed  to 
interest  people;  for  this  reason  I  think  what  I  say  will  do  you 
good.  I  had  thought  of  letting  an  educated  person  criticise  my 
book,  that  it  might  be  presented  in  better  language,  but  so  many 
of  the  common  people  have  objected  that  it  will  be  taken  out  of 
the  line  of  plain,  simple  talk,  and  that  children  would  fail  to  un- 
derstand it.  It  was  among  the  common  people  that  Jesus  was 
found.  The  spirit  parents  cultivate  you  will  find  in  their  chil- 
dren. As  children  resemble  their  parents  in  appearance  so  they 
will  in  character;  and  every  precaution  should  be  taken  to  guard 
against  evil.  Years  do  not  change  mother  love,  nor  lessen  it; 
neither  should  it  that  of  husband  and  wife.  God  is  love,  and  he 
will  cause  that  love  to  grow,  as  he  causes  the  child  to  grow.  If 
mother  did  not  give  us  the  attention  nature  demands,  what  kind 
of  dwarfs  would  we  be;  and  if  we  do  not  give  love  what  it  demands 
we  will  soon  have  love  dwarfed  also.  The  only  remedy  for 
dwarfed  love  is  a  divorce;  though  if  you  both  do  your  part,  with 
God's  help,  you  can  restore  it  to  the  same  vigorous  life  it  once 
had.  Love  which  does  not  lead  to  labor  and  sacrifice,  is  already 
changing  to  thanklessness  and  ingratitude.  That  is  what  half  our 
people  have,  and  they  think  it  love.  The  church  is  full  of  that 
kind  of  love,  and  it,  too,  thinks  it  is  love.  Love  is  the  sun  of 
life,  most  beautiful  in  the  morning  and  the  evening,  but  brightest 
at  noonday.  Life  without  love  is  worse  than  death.  Love  is 
not  ripened  in  one  day — not  even  in  a  lifetime.  To  be  blessed  it  must 
rise  in  that  faith  in  the  Divine  which  underlies  every  other  motive. 
To  be  true  it  must  be  eternal,  as  God  is,  and  for  husband  and  wife 
to  live  a  life  God  approves  they  must  not  be  unequally  yoked  to- 
gether with  unbelievers.  (II  Cor.  14:5).  If  one  has  all  the  cul- 
tivating of  love  to  do  it  means  failure.  The  husband  and  the 
wife  alike  have  their  parts  to  do.  The  husband  never  can  take 
the  place  of  the  mother  to  a  child.  He  cannot  be  with  the  child 
continually  as  can  a  mother.  While  he  is  robbed  of  the  pleasure 
of  sacrifice  and  love,  let  him  make  up  for  it  by  giving  that  much 
more  attention  to  his  wife,  which  will  feed  her  love  for  all  the 
cares  of  home  and  babies  of  day  and  night,  as  is  said  in  I  Pet. 
3-7:  "Likewise,  ye  husbands,  dwell  with  them  according  to  knowl- 
edge, giving  honor  unto  the  wife,  as  unto  the  weaker  vessel,  and 
as  being  heirs  together  of  the  grace  of  life;  that  your  prayers  be 


264  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

not  hindered."  I.  wish  to  draw  the  attention  of  husbands  to  the 
fact  that  God  tells  you  to  deal  with  them  according  to  knowledge. 
Have  you  the  knowledge  of  what  God  means  when  he  tells  the 
husband  to  give  honor  unto  the  wife?  Consult  the  Universal  Dic- 
tionary and  you  will  find  out  for  yourself  you  have  something  to 
do  to  cultivate  the  love  of  the  wife,  and  this  is  the  way  to  cultivate 
the  honor  God  speaks  of.  I  will  quote  a  few  of  the  definitions  of 
honor  from  this  dictionary :  "Respect ;  esteem,  or  high  estimation ; 
nobleness  of  mind;  uprightness,  a  nice  sense  of  what  is  right." 
Think  of  it,  husbands!  This  is  the  meaning  of  giving  honor  unt) 
the  wife.  Another  definition  of  honor,  from  the  same  dictionary, 
is :  "To  treat  with  reverence ;  to  treat  with  politeness  and  civilty." 
There  is  little  politeness  or  reverence  shown  when  a  man  comes 
home  and,  not  finding  things  just  as  he  would  like  them,  gets 
angry  and  finds  fault,  not  stopping  to  think  how  badly  his  wife 
may  feel,  or  what  God  says  about  her  being  the  weaker  vessel ; 
for  no  man  ever  stops  to  think  how  hard  .it  is  to  care  for  a  baby 
all  day,  or  the  strength  that  a  child  takes  from  its  mother.  I 
know  what  it  is,  and  I  know  what  man's  work  is.  I  always  felt 
rested  when  I  was  filling  a  place  in  man's  work,  but  when  tending 
a  baby  I  never  knew  what  it  was  to  rest,  with  sickness  and  care 
from  the  time  the  child  is  born  till  it  is  through  school.  It  is  no 
wonder  God  tells  husbands  in  Col.  3:19:  "Husbands,  love  your 
wives,  and  be  not  bitter  against  them."  And  how  much  they 
need  your  love  to  strengthen  and  encourage  them1!  A  good 
woman  is  worthy  of  respect.  The  meaning  of  a  good  woman  is 
not  altogether  good  looks,  or  style.  A  bible  woman  is  a  good 
woman.  Let  us  see  what  a  bible  woman  is.  In  I  Tim.  2:10: 
"Professing  godliness  with  good  works."  What  kind  of  works? 
Like  Martha,  a  fine  housekeeper?  Oh,  no;  you  will  find  the  good 
works  in  I  Tim.  5:10:  "Well  reported  of  for  good  works;  if  she 
have  brought  up  children,  if  she  have  lodged  strangers"  (the  so- 
called  hoboes,  for  no  others  would  thank  you  for  a  night's  lodging; 
if  she  have  helped  Christians  in  any  way  that  they  needed)  ;  "if 
she  have  relieved  the  afflicted"  (it  does  not  say  whether  worthy 
or  not)  ;  and  "if  she  have  diligently  followed  every  good  work." 

Not  only  if  your  husband  is  willing;  for  even  those  who  are 
Christians  to-day  are  bitter  against  this  kind  of  work.  Most  of  the 
Christian  women  do  not  want  to  be  bothered,  so  they  say:  "My 
husband  does  not  want  me  to  do  anything  like  that,  and  to  keep  peace 
in  the  family,  I  will  not ;  though  I  know  God  tells  us  to.  I  cannot 
obey  God.  It  must  be  my  husband  first."  The  Lord  tells  us  not  to 
be  man-pleasers,  but  to  fear  God.  Most  of  these  people  have 
troubles,  if  not  one  way,  another;  for  God  will  punish  wives  and 
husbands  who  know  their  duty  and  do  it  not.  Some  women  will 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  265 

say:  "My  family  is  so  large  I  have  enough  to  do;"  others,  "I  am 
not  strong;"  and  still  others,  "I  am  too  poor,"  or  "I  must  have  a 
new  dress  and  hat,  every  time  the  style  changes,  and  have  not 
the  money."  I  wonder  if  God  will  think  these  excuses  are 
all  right,  and  give  them  a  reward.  I  wonder  if  the  stylish,  lazy 
and  selfish  woman  of  our  country  thinks  God  calls  her  a  good 
woman.  They  deserve  the  honor  spoken  of  in  the  bible.  A  good 
woman  is  one  who  adorneth  herself  in  modest  apparel.  She  will 
not  wear  costly  clothes,  or  gold  or  pearls,  or  frizz  her  hair,  or 
put  on  style.  That  is  what  God  calls  a  good  woman,  in  I  Tim. 
2:9.  A  good  woman  will  not  be  idle,  nor  a  tattler  and  busybody, 
speaking  things  which  she  ought  not.  A  good  woman  will  have 
sense.  (I  Tim.  5:13,  14)  to  "guide  the  house,"  and  guide  it  right. 
God  will  give  her  the  knowledge.  She  will  not  need  her  husband 
to  dictate  to  her,  no  more  than  the  husban'd  needs  his  wife  tb 
dictate  to  him  about  his  business.  The  trouble  is  when  people  get 
married  they  both  want  to  be  boss,  when  neither  should.  They 
should  please  one  another,  if  it  pleases  God.  We  know  if  we  are 
stingy,  and  unkind  to  the  poor,  or  are  selfish,  lustful,  or  extrava- 
gant, or  proud,  changing  with  every  style  and  following  the 
world,  we  are  not  pleasing  God.  Are  we  to  put  God  aside  to 
please  others  in  selfish,  lustful  things? 

This  is  why  so  few  husbands  and  wives  get  along;  they  try 
to  please  one  another  in  things  that  are  of  the  devil.  They  know  it 
is  not  right,  and  then  the  devil  is  to  pay,  and  they  are  both  so 
blind  they  cannot  see  it.  A  woman  living  in  society  thinks  she 
can  cultivate  her  husband's  love,  with  style,  and  silks,  and  feathers, 
and  rich,  costly  clothes,  and  have  her  husband  honor  her,  and 
her  children  be  blessed  of  God,  and  be  prosperous  as  God  promises 
if  they  love  him.  If  they  love  God  they  will  do  as  he  tells  them. 
We  must  be  doers  of  the  word,  and  not  hearers  only.  Isaiah 
3:16:  "Because  the  daughters  of  Zion  are  haughty,  and  walk  with 
stretched  necks  and  wanton  eyes,  walking  and  mincing  as  they 
go,  and  making  a  tinkling  with  their  feet."  And  the  i8th  verse: 
"In  that  day  the  Lord  will  take  away  the  bravery  of  their  tinkling 
ornaments  about  their  feet,  (iQth)  the  chains  and  the  bracelets 
and  the  mufflers,"  (2Oth)  "ornaments  and  the  ear-rings,"  and 
(2ist)  "rings,  the  changeable  suits  of  apparel,  crisping  pins,  fine 
linen  and  the  vails."  To  think  of  taking  nature's  love  and  this 
honor  that  is  due  woman  and  surrounding  these  gifts  or  blessings  God 
gave  woman  with  society,  fashion  and  pride,  makes  me  think  of 
taking  a  beautiful  lily  out  of  a  hot-house  in  all  its  freshness  and 
sweetness,  and  planting  it  in  an  old  field  that  has  grown  over  with 
sunflowers.  Oh,  how  out  of  place  that  lily  would  be  out  there  with 
surroundings  so  different  to  its  nature!  This  is  in  part  the  reason 


266  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

so  many  of  our  girls  have  wandered  away  from  the  right,  because 
mother  is  not  where  God  intended  she  should  be.  We  must  have 
good  women  in  order  to  have  good  girls — "mothers  that  have  a 
good  report  of  good  works." 

Before  I  leave  this  subject  I  want  to  say:  To  children  out  in 
this  cold,  friendless,  cruel  world  alone,  I  want  to  give  this  advice, 
whether  you  heed  it  or  not.  I  plead  with  you  to  hearken  to  one 
who  has  had  experience.  Hear  what  God  tells  the  children,  if 
they  will  obey  their  parents.  This  is  right  in  the  sight  of  God. 
Honor  them,  both  father  and  mother,  for  he  tells  you  it  is  "the  first 
commandment  with  promise."  Now,  children,  God  says  if  you  honor 
your  parents  he  will  make  you  a  promise.  He  promises  to  let 
you  live  a  good  many  years,  and  it  will  be  well  with  you ;  that  is, 
you  will  always  get  along  well.  And  when  God  makes  a  promise 
he  never  breaks  it.  If  you  will  listen  to  what  you  parents  say,  even 
after  you  leave  home  you  will  be  blessed.  I  am  forty  years  of 
age,  and  God  has  kept  this  promise  with  me.  You  will  find  this 
in  Eph.  6:1-3,  and  in  Col.  3:20:  "Children,  obey  your  parents  in 
all  things :  for  this  is  wellpleasing  unto  the  Lord."  Now,  chil- 
dren, the  Lord  does  not  want  you  to  just  obey  your  parents  in  a 
few  things,  but  in  everything.  He  tells  the  parents  in-  the  21  st 
verse  to  be  careful  and  not  provoke  the  children.  I  am  so  glad  I 
can  say  that  in  everything  I  tried  to  please  father  and  mother,  and 
God  has  rewarded  me  for  keeping  this  commandment.  I  never 
talked  back  to  them,  as  so  many  children  do  these  days,  or  go 
around  pouting  when  told  to  do  anything.  Thank  God,  he  has 
given  us  just  such  a  little  girl  as  I  tried  to  be  when  I  was  in  my 
mother's  home!  I  have  been  surrounded  with  all  manner  of 
things  that  would  tend  to  lead  a  girl  away  from  her  early  teach- 
ings. As  I  told  you  I  went  into  the  world  at  14,  and  men  and 
boys  have  talked  just  as  nice  to  me  as  they  do  to  you  girls,  when 
they  wanted  me  to  go  to  places.  There  are  few  who  know  the  black 
evil  hearts  of  some  men,  old  and  young,  a  young  girl  out  in  this 
world  alone  and  unprotected  meets.  Oh,  the  promises  they  make 
and  the  schemes  they  lay  for  ignorant,  simple-minded  girls! 
You  girls  would  never  think  a  nicely-dressed,  fine-looking  man 
would  be  guilty  of  them.  You  would  say:  "He  is  too  nice,  and 
he  tells  me  he  loves  me."  He  will  often  say  to  you,  "Now  I  know 
you  do  not  love  me.  If  you  did  you  would  trust  me,  and  do  as 
I  want  you  to."  What  mother  told  me  as  I  was  leaving  home 
would  always  come  to  me :  "Rachel,  do  not  believe  all  the  young 
fellows  or  the  men  say  to  you.  They  will  say  anything,  and  talk 
nice,  and  make  all  kinds  of  promises  to  you,  and  tell  you  how  they 
love  you,  but,  Rachel,  they  will  want  to  put  their  arms  around 
you  when  they  do  not  know  the  meaning  of  love.  Now,  my  child. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  267 

remember  what  I  tell  you."  Sure  enough  it  was  just  as  mother 
said!  It  was  second  nature  for  me  to  do  as  mother  told  me  at 
home,  and  it  was  not  hard  to  remember  her  words  after  I  left 
home,  for  I  could  not  get  away  from  them,  coming  from  her  lips 
while  standing  at  the  gate  as  I  left :  "Rachel,  do  not  believe  them !" 
Every  time  mother's  presence  seemed  to  be  with  me,  and  the 
words  were  fresh  in  my  mirtd,  "Remember  what  I  say,  and  God  will 
bless  you."  I  saw  many  girls  led  away.  The?  all  wore  better 
clothes  than  I,  but  I  would  always  say,  "I  will  do  as  mother  told 
me  if  I  wear  calico."  I  was  eighteen  years  old  before  I  ever  had 
gentleman  company,  and  only  a  few  times  till  I  came  to  Denver. 
I  was  in  my  2Oth  year  wHen  I  was  married.  Young  girls  these  days 
who  have  homes  and  a  mother's  influence  will  stand  on  the  street 
corners  and  have  beaux  before  they  are  out  of  short  dresses. 
Children,  obey  your  parents,  and  with  me  to  your  dying  day  you 
will  rejoice,  for  there  is  no  one  who  can  appreciate  what  is  means 
like  a  girl  who  has  gone  out  into  the  world  alone.  I  wonder  at 
the  mercy  of  God,  in  the  way  he  guided  me,  and  I  will  always  be- 
lieve it  was  because  I  obeyed  mother.  Do  not  tell  me  girls  cannot 
go  through  this  world  all  right  as  well  as  boys !  If  they  obey 
their  parents  out  of  their  sight,  as  well  in  it,  God  will  bless 
them.  I  want  to  say  a  word  to  the  mothers,  too.  The  eyes  of 
too  many  mothers  are  opened  when  it  is  too  late.  Mothers  should 
get  the  confidence  of  their  daughters  first  of  all.  That  was  the 
first  thing  I  began  to  study.  I  know  very  small  children  who  go 
to  their  playmates  telling  their  little  secrets,  already  having  formed 
the  habit  of  telling  everything  that  might  suggest  itself  to  their 
minds.  Their  affairs  are,  of  course,  of  quite  as  much  importance 
to  them  as  anything  could  be  to  us.  Mothers  notice  the  changing 
expressions  on  the  faces  at  the  age  of  six  or  seven.  Their 
thoughts  would  surprise  one  who  had  not  made  it  a  very  deep 
study.  The  greatest  mistake  mothers  make  today  is  not  listening 
to  every  wish  or  whim  or  seemingly  foolish  desire  that  children 
might  bring  to  them.  I  do  not  care  how  busy  you  are  or  what 
you  have  to  do,  listen  to  them  as  seriously  and  thoughtfully  as  if 
they  were  grown-up  strangers,  always  remembering  that  rheir  dis- 
appointments are  even  more  to  them  than  ours  are  to  us.  Since 
my  child  could  walk  I  have  never  yet  told  her  to  go  and  play,  and 
not  bother  me.  As  soon  as  I  could  see  a  thought  was  bothering 
her,  Tgave  it  my  best  attention,  and  I  have  always  made  it  my 
business  to  know  almost  as  soon  as  she  when  a  new  or  perplexing 
thought  was  in  her  mind.  I  never  tried  to  keep  her  from  learn- 
ing. When  thoughts  came  to  her,  even  if  they  were  beyond  her 
years,  I  never  discouraged  her.  Before  she  was  twelve  years  old 


268  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

I  bought  a  good  doctor  book  for  ladies,  with  explanatory  pictures 
and  told  her  all  about  them  in  a  simple  way,"  so  her  mind  could 
receive  them ;  I  do  not  believe  anyone  but  a  mother  should  give 
such  instructions.  If  she  is  not  prudent  some  little  school  girl 
will  get  ahead  of  her,  gain  the  confidence  of  her  child,  and  teach 
her  not  to  tell  her  mother.  The  child,  of  course,  will  promise,  and 
from  that  hour  your  child  is  more  or  less  beyond  your  control.  You 
cannot  see  it.  if  has  not  had  time  to  develop,  so  it  cannot  be 
noticed  by  a  careless  or  thoughtless  mother;  but  it  is  there  all 
the  same.  I  want  to  tell  you  in  a  way  that  you  will  not  fail  to 
get  my  meaning.  I  had  no  secrets  from  my  child.  I  made  no 
mysteries  of  nature.  I  never  saw  the  day  when  I  shut  the  door 
against  my  daughter  if  I  were  bathing.  We  have  played  together 
as  two  children.  She  has  thrown  water  on  me  and  ran  me  around 
the  house  as  if  I  had  been  her  sister;  and  I  know  her  sister 
could  not  have  enjoyed  it  more  than  I.  Days  that  I  gave  wholly 
to  studying  the  bible,  I  arranged  my  work,  and  told  Ruby  as .  I 
would  an  older  person :  "Ruby,  I  want  to-day  to  myself."  I  told 
her  why,  and  then  said  if  there  was  anything  she  wanted  to  ask 
or  tell  me,  to  let  me  know  before  I  went  to  my  study.  "If  there 
is  nothing  you  want  very  much,  don't  bother  me,"  I  told  her. 
Some  days  she  would  get  along  very  well.  Other  days  she  came 
in  once  or  twice.  She  always  came  in  smiling,  and  waited  until 
I  said:  "Ruby,  what  is  it?  tell  me."  As  I  have  already  said, 
she  was  sick  a  great  deal  the  first  seven  years  of  her  life,  and  had 
always  slept  with  me  up  to  that  time.  She  was  a  little  past  six,  when 
one  day  I  detected  there  was  something  on  her  mind  that  bothered 
her.  I  knew  it  was  something  she  wanted  to  know.  I  watched 
her  several  days,  and  could  see  she  was  not  satisfied.  She  was 
always  up  at  my  side,  wherever  I  went,  and  wanted  to  know  every- 
thing. She  asked  me  questions  I  would  not  have  dared  bother  my 
mother  with.  Yet  I  knew  I  had  a  patient  mother.  Then  I  won- 
dered if  my  child  was.  different  from  others,  but  I  saw  there  was 
little  difference.  She  was  a  wonder  to  me,  and  I  so  wanted  to 
satisfy  her  in  everything  that  came  to  her.  In  this  way  I  have 
learned  lessons  I  could  not  have  known  otherwise.  They  have 
been  a  blessing  to  me  and  my  child,  and  I  must  not  fail  to  tell  every 
mother.  If  I  did,  I  should  feel  I  had  committed  a  great  sin.  At 
this  time  she  was  but  a  little  past  six.  By  watching  her  I  found 
out  what  she  wanted  to  £now.  It  was  the  fulfillment  of  one  of 
nature's  laws.  One  morning  when  I  was  making  the  bed  she 
came  into  the  room,  and  I  could  see  by  the  expression  of  her 
face  she  wished  to  ask  a  question.  "Now,  what  is  it  you  want  to 
know,"  I  said,  "come  and  tell  me."  I  tried  to  get  hold  of  her,  and 
tumble  her  on  the  bed,  and  hold  her  there  till  she  would  tell  me; 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  269 

but  >he  ran  away.  After  a  while  she  came  back,  and  went  into 
the  clothes  closet,  into  the  clothes  basket,  and  hiding  her  face,  said: 
"Now,  mama,  I  can  ask  you."  "Well,"  I  said,  "if  you  have  to  go 
and  hide  like  that  to  ask  your  mother  anything,  it's  all  right;  but, 
Ruby,  if  I  wanted  to  know  anything,  and  wanted  you  to  tell  me, 
do  you  think  I  would  go  and  hide  in  the  clothes  basket?"  She 
did  not  answer  for  a  long  time,  then  she  said:  "Let  me  ask  you 
here  this  time,  mama,  and  I  won't  do  this  way  any  more."  So 
I  said:  "All  right."  She  had  asked  me  several  questions  on  the 
same  subject,  and  I  had  told  her  the  truth.  She  saw  I  would  pot 
tell  her  till  she  came  out  and  asked  me  straight.  I  would  not 
allow  her  to  hint  at  anything.  Then  she  asked  me,- and  I  said  :  "Now, 
Ruby,  that's  all  right.  There  is  nothing  you  ask*  that  I  am  nor 
willing  to  tell  you.  If  you  are  old  enough  to  ask,  I  ought  to  have 
sense  and  reason  enough  to  answer  you  satisfactorily ;  only  I  think, 
Ruby,  you  are  five  years  too  young  to  know.  But  your  mind  is 
aroused,  and  I  want  to  be  the  one  to  tell  you.  Come  out  of  that 
clothes  basket,  and  come  to  me,  and  I  will  tell  you."  She  did 
so,  and  I  took  her  on  my  lap.  kissed  her,  and  said :  "Now, 
Ruby,  if  I  tell  you,  will  you  promise  me  you  will  not  tell  anyone?" 
I  thought  it  would  be  well  to  exact  this  promise  of  her.  She  prom- 
ised, with  all  the  earnestness  of  her  little  soul  beaming  out  of  her 
bright  face,  and  then  I  said:  "Ruby,  if  I  tell  you  everything,  you 
HUM  tell  me  everything.  If  I  should  ever  find  that  you  keep  any- 
thing from  me,  I  will  know  our  agreement  is  at  an  end."  Young 
as  she  was,  she  has  kept  that  sweet  little  promise.  Why?  Be- 
cause I  got  her  confidence  and  promise  first.  I  have  told  mothers 
of  my  success  with  children,  and  they  were  amazed.  Mothers 
have  gone  to  other  mothers  about  it.  and  some  would  say  they 
thought  I  was  mistaken,  but  I  knew  in  my  own  heart  I  was  right, 
and  I  went  on — and  I  thank  God  to-day  that  I  did.  I  have  always 
had  her  perfect  confidence  in  everything.  I  have  learned  through 
her  of  subjects  of  conversation  between  girls  that  were  never  dreamed 
of  when  I  was  a  girl:  One  bad  girl  among  300  can  educate  the 
whole  school  of  girls  along  these  lines.  You  will  see  such  a  girl 
standing  on  the  corner,  usually  with  from  one  to  five  boys  around 
She  is  able  to  post  every  girl  in  the  school,  and  can  give 
you  a  little  information  for  mothers,  yet  she  is  still  in  short  dresses. 
I  know  I  am  safe  in  saying  there  is  not  a  school  in  the  United 
States  that  has  not  some  bad  boy  or  girl  in  it.  I  want  to  tell  you, 
>ung  people  are  so  "enlightened"  and  so  far  ahead  of  the 
that  they  do  not  see  there  is  anything  wrong  in  being  up-to- 
date  in  everything.  They  are  not  timid  in  telling  of  their  knowl- 
edge, secured  in  this  way,  and  many  girls  think  they  are  smart 
know  things  to  tell  other  girls.  They  are  promptly  headed 


270  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

off  when  my  daughter  is  reached,  who  tells  them  the  result  of 
such  things — even  going  a  little  farther  than  they,  and  more  sen- 
sibly. If  mothers  could  only  be  a  mouse  in  the  corner,  their  eyes 
would  open  when  my  child  talks  to  them,  and  the  first  thing  they 
would  want  to  know  would  be  where  did  she  get  her  information  ; 
and  when  she  would  answer  that  "Mama  told  me,  and  explained 
it  all  to  me,"  they  would  think  it  most  wonderful.  My  daughter 
has  been  able  to  advise  girls  two  years  older  than  herself,  and 
show  them  in  the  right  way.  She  comes  home  from  school  and 
parties  and  tells  me  what  the  girls  say;  and  then  I  tell  her  how 
to  advise  and  warn  them.  I  have  heard  mothers  say  their  girls 
were  as  innocent  as  young  babies.  Nevertheless,  they  were  bright 
enough  to  ask  questions.  Their  minds  are  not  asleep,  and  when 
we  think  so  we  are  mistaken.  My  little  girl  has  been  asked  ques- 
tions she  did  not  quite  know  how  to  answer,  and  she  came  and 
asked  me.  What  was  I  to  do?  Let  them  learn  through  some  girl 
who  would  not  answer  right,  and  do  all  three  more  harm  than  if 
I  should  tell  her?  I  saw  my  own  daughter  was  in  danger,  for  her 
mind  was  aroused.  I  explained  everything  to  her  that  she  could 
understand.  If  these  things  are  explained  there  is  less  danger.  And 
how  the  girls  wonder  that  Ruby's  mama  tells  her  everything,  and 
that  she  tells  her  mother  everything !  They  think  it  one  of  the 
strangest  things  they  ever  knew. 

One  might  think,  judging  from  what  I  have  said,  that  tjhe 
children  of  this  school  must  be  of  a  low  class.  But  such  is  {not 
the  case.  It  is  not  in  the  slums  of  our  city;  neither  is  it  a  second- 
class  school.  It  is  one  of  the  first-class  schools  of  Denver.  Mothers, 
try  this  plan:  Get  the  confidence  of  your  children  first;  and  there 
is  no  better  way  than  to  answer  every  question,  truly  and  hon- 
estly. Other  plans  have  been  tried,  and  failed.  Look  for  the 
question;  and  don't  wait  for  it  to  be  asked.  Remember,  we  must 
be  as  cunning  in  keeping  our  children  out  of  the  snare  of  the 
devil  as  the  world  is  to  lay  plans  to  entrap  them.  Let  us  pray 
and  talk  religion  before  our  children.  My  child  has  heard  me  talk 
since  she  can  remember,  as  I  have  written  in  this  book,  all  about 
the  devil,  and  the  leadings,  and  what  I  have  heard  and  seen  spir- 
itually. She  understands  the  influence  of  the  evil  and  good  spirit, 
and  can  discern  an  evil  spirit  in  a  person  as  soon  as  I.  Not  half 
the  Christians  of  to-day  know  as  much  about  the  Holy  Spirit  and 
the  evil  spirit  as  she.  Oh,  parents,  if  you  love  your  children,  and 
want  them  to  do  right,  do  as  David  tells  us.  You  may  not  think  it 
will  do  much  good;  you  cannot  think  it  will  do  any  harm.  The 
reason  my  daughter  knows  so  much  about  these  things  is,  I  have 
talked  before  her  so  much  she  could  not  help  knowing.  David 
said :  "And  thou  shalt  teach  them  diligently  unto  thy  children ; 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  27! 

and  shall  talk  of  them,  when  thou  settest  in  thine  house,  and 
when  thou  walkest  by  the  way,  and  when  thou  liest  down,  and 
when  thou  raiseth  up."  That  means  all  the  time;  and  to  do  this 
we  must  have  these  things  in  our  hearts.  If  we  have  such  hearts, 
the  Lord  will  be  with  our  children,  and  we  will  not  be  so  hasty 
with  them.  But  we  will,  at  all  times,  stop  to  reason  with  them 
kindly,  as  David  said.  He  was  a  man  after  God's  own  heart, 
and  had  a  great  deal  of  experience.  He  lived  a  long  time,  raised 
a  family,  and  was,  without  a  doubt,  a  good  man,  or  he  could  not 
have  written  a  book  like  the  Psalms.  And  surely  none  of  us  are 
so  wise  that  we  cannot  learn  from  David.  Psalms  2:12:  "Kiss 
the  Son,  lest  he  be  angry,  and  ye  perish  from  the  way,  when  his 
wrath  is  kindled  but  a  little."  We  must  reason  with  our  children, 
and  not  let  them  get  angry  if  we  can  help  it,  for  there  is  danger 
of  our  perishing.  Col.  3 :2i :  "Fathers,  provoke  not  your  children 
to  anger,  lest  they  be  discouraged."  I  say  we  cannot  be  too  care- 
ful lest  we  talk  to  our  children  discouragingly.  If  we  stop  to 
think  it  is  as  easy  for  them  to  get  discouraged  as  it  is  for  the  par- 
ents; for  their  troubles  are  as  much  to  them  as  ours  are  to  us. 
Eph.  6 14 :  "And,  ye  fathers,  provoke  not  your  children  to  wrath ; 
bring  them  up  in  the  nurture  and  admonition  of  the  Lord."  If  we 
do  not  heed  these  truths  what  can  we  expect  but  failure?  We  must 
use  common  sense,  and  lots  of  religion,  if  we  save  our  children. 
For  we  cannot  but  see  the  world  is  getting  wickeder  all  the  time. 
David  tells  us  in  Psalms  112:5  "A  good  man  sheweth  favor, 
and  leadeth :  he  will  guide  his  affairs  with  discretion."  God  wants 
us  to  be  careful  in  our  business  affairs,  and  use  good,  common 
sense.  It  is  high  time  we  were  using  discretion  with  our  children, 
above  everything  else.  Still,  if  we  are  not  living  right  ourselves, 
what  can  we  expect  of  our  children?  Mark  the  words  in  Psalms 
15:3:  "He  that  backbiteth  not  with  his  tongue,  nor  doeth  evil  to 
his  neighbor,  nor  taketh  up  a  reproach  against  his  neighbor."  In 
the  5th  verse  he  tells  us,  if  we  do  as  he  teUs  us  in  the  3d  verse,  we 
shall  never  be  moved.  It  pays  to  listen  to  what  God  says  concerning 
things  that  seem  small  in  the  sight  of  man ;  then  he  will  bless  our 
boys,  and  girls,  and  ourselves.  Oh,  it  is  pitiful  to  think  of  tihe 
unprayerful  mothers,  raising  their  children  without  prayer,  or 
blessing  at  the  table ;  and  I  know  they  are  good  mothers,  yet 
their  children  never  heard  them  pray.  As  a  rule  we  cannot  say  that 
of  our  mothers.  We  need  prayer.  What  can  we  hope  from  our 
boys  and  girls,  growing  up  without  it,  when  we  see  so  many  men 
and  women,  who  have  praying  mothers,  get  so  far  away  from 
God,  and  live  such  careless,  indifferent  lives,  some  in  sin  as  (in 
the  time  of  Sodom  and  Gomorrah?  You  would  be  surprised  if  I 
should  tell  you  the  number  that  seem  to  be  living  decent  lives,  going 


272  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

in  the  best  society,  who  are  found  in  the  ball  room,  and  card 
parties,  and  even  at  socials  and  entertainments,  that  take  re- 
spectable girls  to  church,  go  into  homes  where  young  girls  are, 
and  even  take  up  young  babes  and  kiss  them,  that  are  counted  the 
best  kind  of  men ;  and  away  somewhere  in  a  room  he  is  keeping 
a  woman.  Oh,  if  up-town  rooming  houses  of  our  large  cities  could 
talk,  what  a  tale  of  sin  they  would  tell !  Lawyers,  doctors,  mer- 
chants, tailors,  laboring  men,  saloon-keepers,  printers,  and  the 
great  number  of  all  classes  that  indulge  in  this  sin  are  almost  as 
numberless  as  the  sands  of  the  seashore.  Yet  they  claim  to  be  re- 
spectable, and  come  and  go  in  our  homes,  while  they  have  their 
own  unfortunate  woman  hid  away  in  some  rooming  house.  AnJ 
they  have  praying  mothers,  too.  How  they  can  have  the  con- 
science to  go  out  among  the  good,  and  true,  and  virtuous,  is  more 
than  I  know.  Surely  they  would  blush  with  shame  if  their  mothers 
knew.  When  they  are  with  a  virtuous  young  lady  it  would  never 
do  for  the  woman  he  is  keeping  to  come  in  and  make  known  her 
relationship  to  him.  Is  he  as  good  as  the  woman  he  keeps?  I  say 
no;  because  her  conscience  would  not  permit  her  to  live  among 
the  pure,  true,  and  virtuous.  She  goes  away  alone,  and  sep- 
arates herself  from  all  that  is  pure,  and  the  influence  of  good,  an  1 
there  is  nothing  to  check  her.  She  will  go  deeper  and  deeper  into 
sin,  and  farther  and  farther  away  from  the  influence  of  her  dear, 
praying  mother.  This  is  why  a  woman,  when  she  falls,  is  con- 
sidered lower  than  man.  A  man's  conscience  is  not  so  tender  as 
a  woman's.  He  will  push  himself  into  good  society,  amongst  the 
pure  and  innocent.  If  he  were  as  willing  to  separate  himself 
from  the  pure  as  the  woman  is,  our  girls  would  not  be  in  the  danger 
they  are  to-day.  Many  have  asked  me  why  a  woman  could  fall 
so  much  lower  than  a  man.  The  experience  I  have  had  with  both 
sexes  has  been  man  never  considers  himself  fallen,  nor  his  fellow- 
man.  They  never  treat  one  another  so,  no  matter  what  he  does. 
They  are  always  men.  But  let  a  girl  take  a  misstep,  and  the  other 
girls  look  upon  her  as  a  degraded  creature  and  treat  her  as  such. 
While  our  Savior  was  here  on  earth  he  tried  to  show  them  there  was 
no  difference,  but  in  vain ;  for  the  human  race  still  makes  the  differ- 
ence. Another  reason  is  that  the  majority  of  men  have  nothing  to 
fall  from.  The  Savior  said  if  they  looked  on  a  woman  to  lust,  they 
committed  the  deed  already,  and  his  heart  was  guilty  before  God. 
So  you  see  there  are  no  fallen  men.  They  are  all  alike,  as  are 
the  women  outside  of  Christ,  for  Jesus  said  there  was  no  difference 
They  all  had  sinned,  if  not  in  act,  in  thought.  That  is  why  the 
carnal  mind  is  emnity  against  God.  While  we  have  the  carnal  mind 
there  will  be  carnal  thoughts;  and  we  have  no  right  to  make  a  dif- 
ference so  long  as  we  have  the  carnal  mind.  If  we  do  God  calls 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  273 

us  hypocrites,  and  we  are  sure  to  be  compelled  to  live  in  eternity 
with  those  women,  if  we  do  not  have  the  spirit  of  God,  and  know 
ourselves  that  our  sins  are  forgiven.  As  this  is  true  I  think  the 
best  thing  to  do  is  to  get  acquainted  with  our  future  company,  if 
you  do  not  repent.  If  you  repent,  and  become  a  child  of  God,  then 
if  we  meet,  and  talk,  and  eat  with  them,  as  Jesus  did,  let  your 
talk  be  seasoned  strongly  with  salt,  as  God  says  you  might  be  able 
to  win  many  onto  your  side,  by  living  firmly  for  God.  He  tells  us 
in  I  Cor.  16:22:  "If  any  man  love  not  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  let 
him  be  Anathema,  Maranatha."  He  tells  us  again  in  II  Peter  2:10: 
They  "walk  after  the  flesh  in  the  lust  of  uncleanness,  and  de- 
spise government.  Presumptuous  are  they,  self-willed;  they  are 
not  afraid  to  speak  evil  of  dignities."  Twelfth  verse:  "But  these, 
as  natural  brute  beasts,  made  to  be  taken  and  destroyed,  speak  evil 
of  the  things  that  they  understand  not;  and  shall  utterly  perish  in 
their  own  corruption."  Think  of  meeting  a  human  being  that 
God  calls  a  brute  beast!  They  are  not  all  among  the  fallen 
women,  either;  for  God  does  not  say  it  is  altogether  the  harlot,  and 
getting  married  to  them ;  and  God  counts  all  alike  that  are  not 
believers  and  love  not  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  for  he  tells  us  to  let 
them  be  Anathema.  It  is  any  wonder  he  tells  us  not  to  be  un- 
equally yoked  together  with  unbelievers?  Is  it  any  wonder  he  tells 
us  our  children  will  be  unclean?  How  strange  we  cannot  see  the 
truth  till  our  children  are  raised  and  we  are  ready  to  die !  My  prayer 
is  that  our  children  may  look  to  God  for  their  companion,  and  not 
marry  while  the  devil  has  them  blinded.  Oh,  if  we  would  not  lean 
on  our  own  understandings,  but  trust  God !  May  we  as  parents 
live  before  our  children  so  they  will  have  confidence  in  our  religion. 
God  says  they  will  be  led  to  glorify  our  Father  in  heaven.  Oh, 
for  a  religion  in  our  homes  wherein  we  may  be  happy  with  Christ 
reigning  in  our  hearts. 

Is  it  your  desire  to  know  what  it  means  to  walk  in  the  foot- 
steps of  our  Savior?  If  you  have  the  desire,  sanctify  yourselves. 
This  is  the  key  to  a  successful  Christian  life.  Without  it  we  can 
do  little.  With  it  we  can  only  do  our  reasonable  service;  and  only 
then  can  count  ourselves  unprofitable  servants.  I  say  again,  become 
sanctified.  This  is  the  key  to  the  closet  of  God,  where  he  keeps  the 
secret  things  for  the  ones  who  come  to  him.  As  I  have  said, 
you  must  first  get  the  Spirit,  as  I  received  him  four  weeks  after 
my  conversion.  We  must  have  him  to  lead  and  teach  us,  as  the 
disciples  had  Christ.  He  will  take  the  things  of  Christ  and  reveal 
them  to  us,  and  show  us  how  to  get  the  key;  and  then  the  Lord 
will  permit  the  devil  to  try  us,  to  see  if  we  will  throw  the  key 
away.  If  we  cannot  be  trusted  with  the  key,  he  will  never  let  us  use 
it  to  unlock  the  door  into  his  secret  things.  I  carried  this  key 

18 


274  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

for  several  years,  and  was  as  helpless  to  use  it  as  I  was  before  I 
got  it,  till  God  proved  and  tested  me.  The  Holy  Spirit  will  lead 
us  to  where  the  key  hangs,  but  not  one  of  us  can  use  it  till  the  Holy 
Spirit  shows  us  how;  and  you  will  not  know  how  till  he  has 
proved  you  to  yourself,  and  to  God.  There  are  many  who  let  the 
Holy  Spirit  lead  them  to  where  the  key  hangs,  and  as  they  reach 
up  to  get  it  (talk  about  the  great  iron  keys  that  open  the  doors  to 
our  prisons,  they  are  nothing  to  be  compared  to  this  key  of  sancti- 
fication),  they  find  the  Spirit  and  think  they  are  sanctified.  I  know 
this  to  be  true,  because  the  very  ones  that  have  sought  sanctification 
have  asked  me,  at  the  time  they  were  seeking,  how  I  knew  the 
Spirit  led  me;  then  I  knew  they  did  not  have  the  Spirit.  If  they 
had  they  'would  have  known.  They  were  trying  to  seek  this  bless- 
ing alone,  without  the  Spirit  to  help  them,  and  they  had  not  asked 
the  Father  for  the  Spirit.  If  they  had  received  the  key  they  would 
have  come  to  me  and  asked  me  how  to  use  it;  for  they  had  not  the 
Spirit  to  show  them.  And  if  God  had  given  them  the  key  they  would 
have  had  to  wait  till  they  asked  the  Father  for  the  Spirit  to  srTow 
them  how  to  use  it. 

I  pray  I  may,  through  the  direction  of  the  Holy  Ghost,  make 
this  so  plain  that  those  who  wish  to  seek  for  this  key  even  as  a 
child  seeking  this  blessing,  may  be  led  into  the  light.  The  first 
thing  to  do  is  to  ask  for  the  Spirit.  The  Spirit  occupies  the  place 
Christ  did  to  the  disciples  when  on  earth.  You  may  ask  why  I 
call  sanctification  the  key,  and  what  it  really  is.  It  is  a  wonderful 
blessing.  But  remember  a  key  does  not  amount  to  much  if  you 
cannot  use  it.  But  I  know  God  does  not  give  the  key  unless  you 
have  the  Spirit  with  you  to  lead  you.  Many  think  they  have  t!he  key, 
when  it  is  the  Spirit  come  to  bless  them,  because  of  the  faith  they 
have  in  asking  God;  and  that  faith  brings  a  blessing,  just  as  faith 
brings  a  blessing  in  a  justified  state.  I  know  many  who  have  taken 
a  blessing  for  sanctification,  and.  afterward  acknowledged  they  were 
not  sanctified.  The  time  I  refer  to  was  before  Carradine  came  to 
Denver  the  first  time. 

Holiness  meetings  were  being  held  for  people  to  be  sanctified, 
and  I  remember  as  well  as  if  it  were  yesterday.  One  evening  a 
servant  of  God  was  preaching  a  sermon  on  sanctification,  and  he 
himself  had  not  the  experience  at  the  time.  How  do  I  know  he 
was  not  sanctified?  Can  you  not  tell  the  difference  when  one  who 
testifies  is  converted,  and  when  he  is  not?  There  is  as  much, 
if  not  more,  difference  between  a  justified  testimony  and  a  sanctified 
testimony.  Not  but  that  the  one  who  is  justified  is  of  God,  for  it 
is  only  that  the  difference  lies  in  the  power  of  the  testimony.  Is 
there  not  a  difference  when  the  wind  blows  with  power,  and  a  gentle 
breeze  ?  Yet  both  are  wind. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  275 

But  the  way  I  had  my  knowledge  strengthened  and  confirmed 
regarding  the  one  who  preached,  was  that  when  Carradine  came 
he,  with  others,  testified  that  they  were  not  sanctified;  and 
after  thai  I  never  let  the  devil  waver  me,  nor  received  a  testimony 
into  my  soul  as  a  sanctified  testimony,  when  my  spirit,  by  the 
help  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  showed  me  the  difference.  Something  else 
happened  that  evening  that  made  me  remember,  better  than  anything 
else ;  and  that  was  while  the  preacher  was  conducting  the  services 
I  knew  he  was  not  a  partaker  of  the  fruit  he  was  trying  to  teach. 
God  says  we  cannot  rightly  divine  it  till  we  are  partakers  of  the 
fruits;  and  even  then  we  are  too  helpless  to  teach  it,  unless  we 
have  the  gift,  just  as  we  must  have  the  gift  to  preach,  after  we 
are  children  of  God.  We  know,  and  everyone  else  knows,  whether 
we  are  sent  of  God  or  not. 

After  the  sermon  they  invited  people  forward  to  seek  sanctifica- 
tion.  I  was  not  thinking  the  Holy  Spirit  would  deal  with  me  as 
he  did.  I  was  so  convicted  or  I  would  have  been  almost  frightened 
to  death.  As  I  sat  there  praying  God  not  to  let  me  be  a  crank 
on  this  doctrine  the  Spirit  showed  me  different.  It  is  easy  to  lose 
one's  power  by  letting  the  devil  blind  us,  and  switch  us  off  on 
these  crank  tracks.  So  I  was  praying  with  all  the  power  the  Spirit 
had  given  me  not  to  feel  as  I  did  if  it  was  wrong.  I  was  waiting  for 
the  Holy  Spirit  to  bring  some  passage  of  scripture  to  me,  if  I  was 
wrong,  for  God  knows  I  had  nothing  against  anyone  in  the  meet- 
ing, and  nothing  had  been  said  so  the  devil  could  tempt  me,  and  make 
me  feel  that  way.  After  I  had  considered  everything  I  trusted  the 
Lord  to  lead  me  aright,  as  David  said,  in  a  plain  path,  that  I  might 
know.  And  what  do  you  think  come  to  me?  A  passage  of  scripture 
that  I  had  not  thought  of.  The  Holy  Spirit  always  does 
different  from  what  we  expect.  His  ways  are  not  our  ways. 
If  we  obey  him  we  must  deny  ourselves,  and  not  act  on  what  we 
think,  but  the  thoughts  that  come.  God  tells  us  we  must  deny  our- 
-elves  and  take  up  our  crosses,  or  we  are  not  his  disciples.  The 
words  came  to  me  like  this :  "Do  you  hear  the  noise  in  the  tops  of 
the  mulberry  trees  as  a  rushing  wind?"  And  I  said:  "Lord,  I  do." 
The  scripture  seemed  so  plain  and  real  that  words  came  before 
me  like  the  trees  themselves.  Without  a  doubt  I  heard  the  wind, 
and  the  Spirit  came  upon  me,  and  I  thought  the  veins  in  my  body 
would  burst,  and  that  my  heart  was  too  large  for  my  body.  Then 
followed  these  words:  "Stand  up  and  tell  them  they  are  making 
mockery  of  my  words ;  and  their  worship  has  come  up  before  my 
n.^triU  as  a  stench."  That  was  some  more  scripture  I  had  not 
thought  of.  I  began  to  pray  harder  than  ever  for  God  to  have 
nurcy.  "Lord,  you  know  there  are  three  ministers  of  the  gospel 
nil  tlu-  platform,  and  I  am  only  looked  upon  as  an  ordinary  chris- 


276  THE      LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

tian.  What  I  would  say  would  have  no  effect  on  the  people."  And 
I  promised  the  Lord  if  he  would  have  mercy  on  me  in  a  meeting 
I  was  not  leading,  I  would  talk  •  of  it  privately,  but  I  could  not 
get  up  in  that  meeting.  Then  the  Spirit  began  to  leave  me,  and 
I  know  I  could  not  have  been  his  disciple  another  day  if  I  had 
not  plead  for  mercy,  and  promised  to  tell  it.  But  he  did  not  let  me 
go  unpunished  for  disobeying  him.  I  should  have  gotten  up  and 
told  them  what  the  Lord  said.  This  was  one  of  the  mistakes 
of  my  Christian  life — not  obeying  the  Spirit.  If  I  had  known  then 
what  I  know  now,  I  would  have  testified  to  what  the  Spirit  revealed 
to  me  if  they  had  put  me  out  the  next  moment.  We  have  to  learn 
as  the  Son  of  God  learned.  (Heb.  5:8.)  I  know  it  was  all  because 
I  would,  not  obey  the  Holy  Spirit  that  I  had  to  suffer.  That  was 
the  first  time  he  led  me  to  say  much  about  sanctification,  though  he 
had  led  me  to  live  it.  I  could  preach  the  gospel  and  talk  to  sin- 
ners, but  the  Lord  would  not  lead  me  to  teach  sanctification.  It 
was  two  years  later  that  I  got  where  I  said:  "Lord,  I  will  obey." 
Be  careful  to  get  the  meaning  of  every  word.  If  you  fail  in  one 
word  you  fail  to  get  the  understanding  of  what  the  Lord  would 
have  you  learn.  This  subject,  above  all  others,  should  be  read 
carefully,  and  prayerfully,  two  or  three  times  to  fully  get  the  mean- 
ing. And  now  the  reason  I  call  this  word,  sanctification,  a  key, 
is  because  shackles,  put  on  prisoners  to  hinder  them,  are  fastened 
with  a  clasp,  and  unlocked  with  a  key.  He  can  use  his  hands,  but 
not  so  well  as  if  they  were  free.  His  sight  is  not  impaired,  nor  his 
mind  clouded,  nor  his  will  weakened;  but  the  weight  hinders  him. 
His  one  desire  is  to  get  rid  of  these  weights.  You  could  not  con- 
vince him  that  he  did  not  have  them,  and  he  does  not  expect  to 
do  much  till  he  gets  rid  of  them;  neither  can  he  be  satisfied. %  He 
is  living  in  the  hope  of  ridding  himself  of  every  weight.  He  counts 
the  days  between  him  and  freedom.  Ask  what  bothers  him  and  he 
will  say:  "These  weights."  Observe  if  a  justified  person  does  not 
use  the  same  words.  It  means  a  person  walking  in  all  the  light 
of  justification,  not  one  who  gets  up  and  says:  "I  know  I  am 
doing  things  I  should  not,"  and  stop  there.  He  will  never  know 
anything  else;  but  let  one  say:  "I  know  I  do  things  I  should  not. 
I  do  not  like  to  live  this  way,  and  I  would  like  to  know  if  the  day 
will  come  when  I  need  not  do  wrong."  Note  the  difference  in 
these  two  testimonies.  They  testify  alike,  except  one  goes  farther 
than  the  other.  Why?  Have  they  not  gone  to  the  same  Savior,  and 
was  not  the  blood  shed  for  both?  Another  differende,  one  is  satis- 
fied to  go  in  the  same  old  rut.  He  has  no  spiritual  desires  or 
ambitions  to  make  more  of  his  spirtual  life.  His  mind  is  not 
troubled.  He  has  the  knowledge  he  is  doing  things  he  should 
not,  but  he  goes  on  in  the  same  way.  After  a  while  he  finds  he  is 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  277 

not  getting  along  so  well  in  his  religion;  but  of  course  he  has 
forgotten  all  about  opposing  sanctification.  The  word  meant  so 
little  to  him  he  soon  forgets  it,  but  he  begins  to  feel  something  is 
wrong.  Soon  he  will  testify  he  is  not  so  bright  spiritually;  or  that 
his  faith  does  not  make  him  as  happy  as  once  it  (Jid-  Yet  he  knows 
no  way  out.  Tell  him  the  reason  is  that  he  has  not  the  Spirit  to 
lead  him,  and  he  will  tell  you  he  knows  he  was  converted.  Ask  him 
if  he  knows  he  has  the  Spirit,  and  when  he  got  him,  and  he  cannot 
tell  you;  but  he  can  tell  you  where  he  was  converted.  He  never 
had  the  Spirit  or  he  would  have  no  word  to  say  against  sancti- 
fication. The  Spirit  leads  no  one  to  doubt  or  reject  this  blessing, 
or  to  discourage  others  in  seeking  it.  If  there  is  one  precious  soul 
that  has  been  stumbling  like  this,  let  me  entreat  you,  dear  one, 
stop  before  it  is  too  late.  Many  will  say:  "Well,  if  I  have  not  the 
Spirit  to  lead  me,  what  is  this  comfort  I  have  enjoyed  all  these 
years?"  Do  you  not  know  there  is  a  comfort  in  faith?  God  says 
faith  can  do  wonderful  things;  and  those  who  have  faith  in  the 
wonderful  works  of  the  devil  get  comfort  from  it.  It  is  a  comfort  to 
them  and  they  have  a  liking  for  others  who  believe  as  they  do.  If 
we  have  the  Spirit  to  lead  us,  it  will  not  be  long  before  he  will  lead 
us  into  the  blessing  of  sanctification ;  neither  can  we  have  love 
perfected  in  our  hearts  without  sanctification.  God  is  not  going  to 
give  us  the  greatest  thing  first,  and  the  greatest  of  everything  is 
Then  you  ask,  what  will  you  do  with  this  passage  of  scrip- 
ture: "Everyone  that  is  born  of  God  loves  his  brother;  and  he 
that  loveth  not  his  brother  is  not  born  of  God."  But  that  love  is 
not  perfected  without  the  complete  work  of  sanctification.  Observe 
a  new-born  soul  and  you  will  find  they  love  everybody,  and  are 
very  happy.  But  that  love  does  not  last  long,  and  soon  we  see 
the  old  Adam  nature  creep  out.  If  we  had  the  love  spoken  of  in 
I  Cor.  13:7:  "Beareth  all  things,"  and  "endureth  all  things,"  we 
would  not  be  impatient ;  we  would  have  no  spirit  to  show  unkind- 
ness.  The  4th  verse  says,  they  that  have  this  love  are  kind.  You 
a>k  what  was  the  matter  with  that  new-born  soul.  Just  what  God 

if  they  do  not  ask  the  Father  for  the  Spirit  immediately 
after  their  conversion.  They  cannot  help  themselves,  and  instead 
of  going  on  they  will  go  back;  and  little  by  little,  as  James  tells 
James  i  :35,  the  same  old  Adam  lust  of  anger  comes  up, 
and  we  need  the  leading  of  the  Spirit  to  help  us  seek  the  bl 
of  sanctification.  This  blessing  takes  out  the  old  anger  through 
the  Spirit  helping  us.  Perhaps  my  own  experience,  four  weeks 

my  conversion,  might  serve  as  an  example.  I  saw,  even 
that  early.  I  could  do  nothing  alone.  I  knew  I  was  converted,  but 
I  knew  I  must  have  something  to  help  me  do  my  duty.  I  have 
already  told  how  I  struggled  for  two  weeks,  but  did  not  know 


278  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

enough  to  call  him  the  Spirit,  though  I  asked  for  something.  There 
was  no  one  to  tell  me  it  was  the  Spirit  I  needed,  but  the  Lord  knew 
what  I  meant,  and  that  I  was  so  ignorant  I  did  not  know  what 
to  ask  for.  But  after  I  got  him  I  knew  the  meaning,  and  he  began 
to  lead  me  to  the  light.  He  showed  me  my  jewelry,  my  temper,  the 
Adam  nature,  spoken  of  in  James  1 115,  and  I  yielded  against  my 
will.  Then  I  was  as  Paul  says  in  Rom.  7 120 :  "It  is  no  more  I 
that  do  it,  but  sin  that  dwelleth  in  me."  And  in  the  23d  verse  he 
says  the  sin  was  in  his  m'embers.  That  is  why  he  said  in  the  2Oth 
verse,  "now  if  I  do  that  I  would  not,"  something  he  was  not  willing 
to  do,  when  he  said :  "It  is  not  I  that  do  it."  He  had  been  con- 
verted, and  wished  to  put  anger  from  him.  What  made  Paul  feel 
like  that?  He  did  not  even  know  he  was  doing  wrong  when  he 
was  on  his  way  from  Jerusalem  to  Damascus,  persecuting  the 
children  of  God.  But  he  knew  now  because  he  had  been  con- 
verted, and  the  things  he  did  now  were  not  of  his  heart ;  that  had 
been  born  again.  In  the  flesh,  or  the  members,  was  where  the 
old  Adam  sin  lay.  Paul  knew  if  he  did  not  do  something  with 
that  sin  he  could  not  endure.  I  John  3:9:  "Whosoever  is  born 
of  God  doth  not  commit  sin ;  but  his  seed  remaineth  in  him :  and 
he  cannot  sm,  because  he  is  born  of  God."  Paul  said,  I  do  not 
sin,  but  it  is  this  body.  He  knew  this  was  not  a  good  condition. 
In  Rom.  7:24  he  said:  "Who  shall  deliver  me  from  the  body  of 
this  death?"  He  had  already  received  the  Spirit  to  lead  him,  and 
he  thanked  God  through  Jesus.  Rom.  8:1:  "Now  no  condem- 
nation," and  in  Rom.  7 124 :  "O,  wretched  man  that  I  am !"  He 
knew  there  was  no  help  for  him  if  he  did  not  let  the  Spirit  lead 
him.  In  a  little  while  he  would  be  as  James  says  (James  1:15), 
that  when  the  sin  of  the  body  is  allowed  to  remain  in  the  mem- 
bers, there  is  danger  of  the  old  lust  of  anger  getting  conceived  into 
the  spiritual  man,  the  part  that  was  born  of  God,  and  bringing  forth 
sin ;  after  that  the  heart  really  takes  back  the  old  lust  of  anger. 
And  when  sin  is  finished  it  brings  forth  death,  and  the  spiritual 
man  dies.  It  was  sin  or  lust  in  the  members  that  caused  the  con- 
ception to  take  place  in  the  new  man,  and  it  did  not  take  long 
for  sin  to  overwhelm  him.  God  says  he  is  dead  in  trespass  and 
sin.  II  Peter  1:9:  "He  that  lacketh  these  things  is  blind,  and 
cannot  see  afar  off,  and  hath  forgotten  that  he  was  purged  from 
his  old  sin."  In  the  loth  verse  he  says :  "Brethren,  make  your 
calling  and  election  sure."  There  is  nothing  sure  for  people  like 
those  referred  to  in  the  9th  verse,  because  they  lack  the  things 
spoken  of  in  the  7th  verse,  brotherly  kindness  and  love.  And  he 
lacks  these  things  because  when  he  was  converted  he  thought  that 
was  all,  instead  of  seeking  and  praying  the  Holy  Spirit  to  lead  and 
help  him.  Like  Paul,  I,  too,  knew  in  that  condition  my  conver- 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  279 

sion  would  do  me  little  good.  It  would  not  have  been  long  till  I 
could  scarcely  have  been  told  from  a  sinner.  I  was  longer  com- 
ing into  the  light  of  sanctification  than  there  is  any  need.  Three 
years  the  Spirit  led  me,  and  all  the  time  I  let  things  hinder  me.  God 
knew  in  my  heart  I  wanted  to  be  free  from  anger,  and  hateful 
words,  but  I  was  so  slow;. almost  as  slow  as  I  was  in  coming  to 
obey  the  Spirit  in  everything.  I  lived  for  three  years  as  described 
in  II  Cor.  7:11.  It  was  a  godly  sorrow.  I  was  sorry  every  time 
I  became  angry.  I  got  so  I  hated  myself  for  having  such  an  ugly 
temper.  I  said  there  was  no  use  in  trying,  I  could  never  be  a. 
Christian  and  do  like  this.  As  I  said,  I  was  hindered.  I  was  sick, 
and  during  the  three  years  my  little  girl  was  born.  For  two  years 
following  I  could  not  do  much  in  looking  after  my  spiritual  wel- 
fare. I  was  never  free  from  the  feeling  that  I  must  live  a  better 
life  till  I  experienced  the  condition  described  in  the  iith  verse, 
and  was  determined  to  do  better  no  matter  what  came.  Every  one 
of  these  feelings  was  surging  through  my  soul :  "Yea,  what  indigna- 
ton,  yea,  what  vehement  desire,  yea,  what  zeal,  yea,  what  re- 
venge, yea,  what  clearing  of  ourselves."  This  was  indeed  godly 
sorrow ;  and  when  the  Spirit  brings  this  sorrow  there  will  come, 
also,  a  carefulness  that  was  never  wrought  in  your  heart  before. 
It  will  make  you  watch  and  pray,  and  be  careful  to  guard  against 
all  these  evU  natures.  There  was  not  a  day  I  did  not  pray  God 
to  help  me  get  where  I  would  be  satisfied  with  my  Christian  life. 
Oh,  what  a  hungering  and  thirsting  after  something  that  would 
make  me  better!  Tell  me  God  will  not  help  one  who  constantly 
comes  to  him  for  three  years !  Does  he  not  tell  us,  in  Luke  18 :6, 
to  hear  what  the  unjust  judge  sayeth?  And  in  the  7th  verse  that 
he  will  do  better  by  us  than  the  judge  did  with  the  widow,  if 
we  will  cry  day  and  night  unto  him?  Always  he  hears  us,  though 
he  does  wait  a  long  time  sometimes  before  he  gives  us  what  we 
ask  of  him.  The  Lord  knows  it  was  not  through  any  selfish  or 
worldly  interest  that  1  was  asking.  I  cannot  help  thinking  that 
anyone,  with  half  a  desire  to  do  as  God  tells  us  in  his  word,  must 
see,  if  he  does  not  wish  to  be  lost,  that  he  must  get  this  blessing  of 
sanctification.  Reason  tells  us  we  cannot  stand  still.  We  must  grow 
better  or  worse.  How  can  we  improve  all  hemmed  in  and  ham- 
pered by  the  carnal  mind  and  the  sin  that  is  in  the  flesh?  This  key 
of  sanctification  unlocks  the  door  of  the  temple  and  turns  out  the 
carnal  nature.  The  spiritual  man  cannot  prosper  as  long  as  the 
carnal  man  is  in  this  temple  of  clay.  God  tells  in  I  Cor.  6:19,  that 
your  body  is  the  temple  of  the  Holy  Ghost.  Where  you  see  malice 
or  anger  the  outward  man  is  having  his  way.  The  Spirit  cannot 
lead  the  inward  man,  for  the  Spirit  is  hindered  by  the  outward  man. 
John  16:13:  "When  he,  the  Spirit  of  truth,  is  come,  he  will  guide 


280  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

you  into  all  truth."  Have  you  received  him  to  guide  you?  This 
shows  that  we  must  be  going  ahead,  for  one  who  is  standing  still 
needs  no  guide.  It  is  plain  enough  that  we  cannot  get  along  with- 
out this  guide.  It  shows,  also,  that  we  do  not  get  all  the  truth 
at  once.  If  we  did  there  would  be  no  truth  for  the  Spirit  to  guide 
us  into.  John  8 132 :  "Ye  shall  know  the  truth,  and  the  truth 
shall  make  you  free."  You  may  know  the  Spirit  is  leading  you 
because  he  is  showing  you  the  truth.  You  can  see  new  things  in 
the  bible  every  day  that  are  a  benefit  and  help,  if  you  accept  them 
and  live  them.  The  result  is  you  will  be  free,  If  you  are  not 
free,  then  it  is  plain  the  Spirit  has  not  shown  you.  When  he  has 
you  will  not  have  any  rest  till  you  let  the  Spirit  lead  you,  and  till 
you  know  you  are  free.  Then  you  can  live  according  to  I  Cor.  6: 
20,  for  you  will  glorify  God  in  your  body  and  your  spirit.  You 
will  have  control  over  the  members  of  your  body  and  will  use 
them  for  the  glory  of  God ;  even  the  tongue  will  refuse  to  speak 
hateful,  ugly  things  to  hurt  one's  feelings.  Why?  Because  you  have 
been  led  into  the  truth,  and  the  Lord  has  given  you  the  key  that 
unlocked  the  door  and  turned  the  old  man  of  sin  out  of  the 
temple  the  Lord  has  bought.  And  he  wants  possession,  for  in 
I  Cor.  6:20,  he  said  he  had  bought  you,  and  of  course  he,  and  he 
alone,  wants  to  take  possession. 

The  key  is  not  made  of  gold,  silver  or  brass,  but  of  strength ; 
and  he  gives  his  strength  when  he  sees  you  are  willing  to  use 
what  you  already  have.  That  means  to  do  what  you  know  you 
ought  to  do ;  and  when  you  fail,  cry  to  God  as  the  widow  cried  to 
the  unjust  judge,  till  you  are  able  to  use  the  knowledge  you  al- 
ready have.  This  is  the  way  to  get  in  possession  of  the  key,  and 
there  is  no  other  way.  He  says  in  John  3 127,  "A  man  can  re- 
ceive nothing  except  it  be  given  him ;"  and  the  Lord  will  not  give 
this  key  of  strength,  which  means  the  blessing  of  sanctification, 
until  the  Spirit  leads  you  into  the  truth.  And  he  cannot  lead  you 
unless  you  know  that  you  have  got  him.  This  key  locks  the 
temple  and  keeps  the  old  man  out.  If  you  lose  the  key  through 
disobedience,  the  old  man  will  come  back  and  rule  as  he  did  be- 
fore. -  I  will  show  what  the  old  man  is  made  of,  and  if  he  is 
in  this  temple  of  yours,  this  is  the  way  you  will  do:  You  will 
have  a  feeling  which  will  cause  you  to  say,  I  do  not  like  this  or  that 
one.  Now  if  you  get  the  Spirit  he  will  show  you  how  to  live,  in 
word  and  deed.  I  Pet.  2:1,  2:  "Wherefore,  laying  aside  all  malice, 
and  all  guile,  and  hypocrisies,  and  envies,  and  all  evil-speakings, 
as  new-born  babes,  desire  the  sincere  milk  of  the  word,  that  ye  may 
grow  thereby."  Now,  this  key  is  only  the  blessing  of  power  and 
knowledge  to  live  a  sanctified  life  through  the  leading  of  the 
Spirit,  and  to  set  aside  the  things  spoken  of  in  the  first  verse : 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  28l 

envy  and  malice  and  evil-speakings  and  anger.  That  is  what 
the  word  sanctification  means.  Is  it  not  so  simple  a  child  can 
understand?  These  things  God  tells  us- to  lay  aside  blind  and  hin- 
der us ;  that  is  why  it  is  so  hard  to  be  a  Christian.  But  when  we  turn 
these  'feelings  from  the  temple,  then  we  know  what  growth  means. 
We  begin  to  get  stronger,  and  become  better,  because  we  are  able  not 
to  take  up  the  things  God  has  told  us  to  lay  aside.  Many  who  get 
this  strength  begin  to  glory  over  it,  and  say  they  are  sanctified. 
Many  fail  to  explain  that  sanctification  means  just  putting  aside 
an  ugly  temper  and  a  spirit  that  causes  us  to  say  hateful  words. 
When  anyone  asks  me  if  I  am  sanctified  I  tell  them  yes;  that 
I  have  stopped  getting  mad  and  raising  the  devil,  and  that  is 
>aiictification — setting  aside  the  carnal  nature,  selfishness  and  pride. 
God  plainly  tells  us  that  carnality  is  enmity  against  him. 
Is  there  not  danger  in  living  in  enmity  against  God?  Instead  of  hav- 
ing feeling  toward  anyone  who  has  done  us  a  wrong,  or  one  who 
isn't  just  right,  we  should  have  a  pity — a  sympathy  for  them,  which 
is  tenderness;  and  what  is  that  but  love?  Nowhere  in  God's  word 
are  we  told  we  can  feed  on  the  milk  of  the  word  unless  we  lay 
aside  these  things ;  neither  can  you  find  anywhere  that  one  is  con- 
verted till  he  repents.  The  second  verse  says  you  are  nothing  but 
a  babe,  and  if  you  are  nothing  but  a  babe  you  should  not  feel 
very  great.  You  may  desire  the  sincere  milk  of  the  word.  The  first 
desire  the  Spirit  gives  you  is  to  lay  aside.  The  second  desire  is 
to  feed  on  the  word.  If  you  have  two  desires  together  it  is  a 
natural  desire,  for  if  it  were  a  spiritual  one  you  would  already 
have  been  feeding  on  the  word;  and  if  you  have,  it  has  done  yon 
no  good,  or  you  would  have  laid  aside  all  these  things  spoken  of 
in  the  first  verse.  When  we  have  gotten  where  we  can  grow  by 
feeding  on  the  milk,  notice  the  second  verse  and  the  last  line — "that 
we  may  grow  thereby."  So  many  who  are  sanctified  begin  to  re- 
joice because  they  have  laid  aside  pride  or  anger  or  selfishness, 
some  of  the  carnal  things  spoken  of  in  the  first  verse.  They 
are  feeding  the  desire  on  praises  and  rejoicing  and  glorying,  in 
the  place  of  feeding  the  desire  with  the  word  of  God,  and  then  in 
I  Cor.  3:1,  saying:  "I,  brethren,  could  not  speak  unto  you  as  unto 
spiritual."  They  had  failed  to  get  the  Spirit.  They  were  converted, 
but  were  not  spiritual,  and  could  not  be  till  they  received  the  Spirit. 
So  many  try  to  lay  aside  these  things  in  their  own  strength  and  to 
read  the  word  of  God  in  this  way.  They  do  not  profit  by  it.  They 
fail  to  grow  because  they  haven't  the  Spirit,  for  he  tells  them  they 
have  not  been  able,  and  are  not  now  able.  He  says,  after  he  had 
fed  them  with  milk  in  the  second  verse,  that  they  didn't  get  strong 
by  it.  Reading  the  bible  and  praying  and  talking  after  being  con- 
verted,  without  the  Spirit,  does  us  but  little  good.  Can  you  not 


282  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

see  how  much  we  must  depend  on  the  work  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  and 
what  he  is  to  us  here  on  earth?  We  are  to  depend  on  him  to  reveal 
the  scripture  to  us,  for  "he  searcheth  all  things."  It  is  he  that  search- 
eth  the  heart  and  knows  the  mind  better  than  we  know  ourselves,  and 
he  knows  just  what  passage  of  scripture  to  bring  to  our  minds,  be- 
cause he  knows  our  condition — whether  it  is  a  passage  to  rebuke 
or  one  to  encourage  us,  or  some  of  the  word  that  he  wants  us  to 
repeat  to  others,  for  he  knows  the  other  heart,  too ;  thus  he  gives 
us  just  the  words  that  will  touch  that  one's  heart  out  of  the  word 
of  ;God.  Our  part  is  to  study  the  word,  and  get  thoroughly  ac- 
quainted with  it.  The  scripture  the  Spirit  would  bring  to  us  to-day 
might  not  do  for  to-morrow  at  all.  What  we  want  to  do  is  to 
study  the  word,  and  by  that  we  eat  it,  as  Isaiah  ate  the  roe.  Well, 
Paul  said  they  could  not  bear  strong  food.  They  hadn't  walked 
by  the  light  they  ought,  and  hadn't  profited  by  the  milk.  They 
seemed  to  be  standing  still,  as  it  were.  In  the  third  verse  of  this 
chapter  he  says  "For  ye  are  yet  carnal"  (you  can  see  he  expected 
them  to  give  up  their  carnality)  :  "for  whereas  there  is  among  you 
envying,  and  strife,  and  divisions."  You  see  they  had  different 
feelings.  They  had  not  the  Spirit,  for  where  we  all  have  the  Spirit 
we  all  feel  alike.  Those  differences  won't  exist,  for  he  says  in  the 
last  line,  "are  you  not  carnal,  and  walk  as  men?"  Just  where  the 
devil  tried  to  get  me  to  stop.  But  when  I  laid  aside  these  things 
and  trusted  the  Spirit  /to  help  me,  and  then  trusted  the  Spirit  as 
much  afterwafd  that  I  might  feed  aright  on  the  word,  I  went  right 
on  and  could  feel  myself  growing.  But  the  devil  did  not  let  me 
alone.  He  wanted  me  to  take  these  things  up  and  continue.  Oh, 
how  he  did  tempt  me !  I  will  tell  you  about  it  when  I  am  through 
with  this  subject.  It  is  the  most  dangerous  place  in  our  Chris- 
tian life,  when  we  lay  aside  all  these  things  and  begin  to  grow. 
Then  is  when  we  need  the  Spirit,  or  the  devil  will  hinder  our 
growth,  and  we  will  go  back,  as  God  tells  us  in  Hebrews  5:12:  "For 
when  for  the  time  ye  ought  to  be  teachers,  ye  have  needed  that 
orie  teach  you  again."  Why  had  they  gotten  into  such  a  condition 
that  all  of  this  time  had  been  wasted?  They  had  time  enough  to 
be  teachers,  and  yet  they  needed  some  one  to  teach  them,.  They  had 
not  gone  ahead  and  grown  after  they  had  laid  aside  these  things, 
as  babes.  They  had  failed  to  see  to  the  growing  part,  and  that 
is  where  most  of  our  sanctified  people  are  to-day.  They  think 
they  have  nothing  to  cfo  but  rejoice  and  praise  God  in  the  step  they 
have  taken  in  laying  aside  these  things.  They  had  failed  to 
learn  how  to  possess  his  vessel,  spoken  of  in  I  Thess.  4 14,  5.  When 
we  are  thoroughly  sanctified  it  will  not  take  us  long  to  know  how 
to  steer  our  own  lives  spoken  of  in  the  fourth  verse.  How  are  we 
to  learn  ?  As  we  grow ;  and  we  grow/  according  as  we  receive  the 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  283 

word  and  profit  by  it.  In  Heb.  5:14  we  see  that  "strong  meat  be- 
longeth  to  them  that  are  of  full  age."  Then  they  had  grown,  and  it 
was  by  obeying  the  word  of  God,  doing  what  he  tells  them.  He  goes 
on  and  explains  what  sanctification  is,  or  what  it  means  to  be  sancti- 
fied. In  the  same  verse,  "those  who  by  reason  of  use  have  their 
senses  exercised  to  discern  both  good  and  evil."  Now  what  does  that 
mean  ?  Merely  that  it  takes  experience,  which  mean  testing  and 
temptations,  and  sufferings,  and  trials,  and  persecution.  That  is  why 
the  Lord  said  strong  meat  belongs  to  those  who  were  of  age.  The 
time  comes  when  we  can  be  of  age  in  a  spiritual  as  well  as  in  a  nat- 
ural sense,  and  yet  one  who  is  not  of  age  thinks  he  knows  as  much 
as  one  who  is,  and  that  he  can  teach,  when  God  tells  him  he  has  had 
time  enough  to  have  been  a  teacher  but  he  needs  someone  to  teach 
him.  Why?  Because  he  has  failed  to  let  the  Spirit  lead  him  into  a 
sanctified  experience.  Now  to  go  back  to  I  Thess.  4 13,  4 :  "For  this 
is  the  will  of  God,  even  your  sanctification,  that  ye  should  abstain 
from  fornication:  that  every  one  of  you  should  know  how  to  pos- 
sess his  vessel  in  sanctification  and  honor."  How  are  we  to  know 
how  to  possess  our  own  vessel?  When  we  learn,  then  we  will 
know.  You  see  there  is  more  to  learn  after  we  begin  to  grow  than 
there  was  from  the  time  of  our  conversion  to  the  time  we 
lay  aside  these  things.  We  have  to  know  how  to  grow.  And  we 
learn  these  things  by  experience,  with  the  study  of  God's  word 
and  the  help  of  the  Holy  Spirit  to  guide  us  into  the  word  of  truth. 
The  every-day  experience  of  living  according  to  the  bible  in  every 
word  and  deed  will  help  us  to  grow  so  strong  in  the  knowledge 
of  God,  and  in  faith,  and  love,  and  kindness,  that  we  can  possess 
our  own  vessel  in  sanctification.  We  are  not  complete  in  the 
experience  of  sanctification  till  we  can  do  this.  That  is  why  I  say 
those  who  lay  everything  on  the  altar  are  not  sanctified  the  moment 
they  do  this.  I  know  the  altar  sanctifies  the  gift,  but  we  are  not 
to  limit  the  time  in  which  this  work  is  done;  for  we  must  be 
tested,  and  learn  and  know  after  we  lay  everything  on  the  altar  that 
the  work  is  not  done.  Did  not  Abraham  lay  the  idol  of  his  heart 
on  the  altar,  and  was  it  all  done  then?  No,  after  he  had  made  up 
his  mind,  and  already  in  his  heart  said,  "I  will,"  he  had  to  live 
three  days  and  three  nights  before  he  began  to  build.  There  is 
something  to  do  beside  going  forward,  and  kneeling,  and  getting 
up  and  saying  you  are  sanctified.  You  are  in  your  experience  ex- 
actly as  Abraham  was  as  a  Christian,  when  he  was  still  called 
Abram  at  90  years  of  age.  (Gen.  7:1.)  He  was  a  Christian  long 
before,  and  toy  living  a  life  of  faith  had  become  so  strong  in  his 
Christian  life  that  God  came  and  said:  ."Now,  Abraham,  you  have 
been  a  Christian  long  enough.  I  want  you  to  begin  to  walk."  What 
does  walk  mean  but  to  grow?  The  same  thing  Peter  said,  in 


284  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

I  Pet.  2:2.  When  God  told  Abram  to  walk  what  did  he  do?  He 
fell  on  his  face;  and  then  God  began  to  talk  to  him  just  as  the  Spirit 
will  talk  to  us.  (Gen.  17:3.)  When  Abraham  was  strong  enough, 
and  had  become  spiritual,  God  told  him  to  be  perfect.  When  God 
knew  he  was  strong  enough  to  bear  it,  he  came  to  him  again. 
It  must  have  been  in  the  night.  (Gen.  22:3.)  For  Abram  arose  up 
early  in  ithe  morning.  How  could  he  sleep  after  God  told  him 
what  he  did?  Abraham  loved  his  son,  God  said  he  did.  If  he  had 
not  lain  aside  everything,  and  completely  consecrated  himself,  when 
God  told  him  what  to  do,  how  could  he  have  borne  it?  Getting 
this  wonderful  work  of  sanctification  completed  in  us  is  not  all 
done  by  an  act  of  the  will,  in  a  day  or  a  month.  Neither  can  you 
keep  it  by  testimony  alone ;  neither  can  you  get  it  by  faith  alone, 
nor  keep  it  by  faith  alone.  Many  say  if  you  do  not  testify  to  it 
you  will  lose  it.  Oh,  what  a  mistake !  There  are  works,  and  you 
must  have  an  experience  before  this  strong  meat  belongs  to  you. 
God  tells  you  iso  in  Hebrews  and  in  Thessalonians.  When  you 
are  sanctified  you  will  know  how.  You  grow,  and  learn,  and  have 
experience,  and  then  you  get  where  you  have  the  honor  of  bearing 
the  name.  That  is  when  you  are  of  age.  He  does  not  say  it  is 
given  you  to  testify  to  it,  and  he  says  it  was  his  will  for  you  to 
have  it.  For  what?  To  know  how  to  talk?  Oh,  no;  unless. you 
have  the  gift  to  teach  this  blessing.  But  it  was  given  that  you 
might  know  how  to  possess  the  vessel ;  that  is,  to  control  your  own 
life  in  acts  of  suffering  and  obedience.  For  he  taught  us  to  talk 
as  babes  on  the  milk,  -when  he  told  us  what  we  must  not  say,  and 
what  we  must  do  to  grow  so  that  we  could  bear  strong  meat. 
Strong  meat  belongs  to  those  who  are  grown,  and  it  takes  time  to 
grow.  We  have  got  to  make  this  consecration  spoken  of  in  I 
Peter  2,  and  then  grow  before  we  can  become  sanctified  as  in 
Hebrews,  before  this  strong  meat  belongs  to  us.  People  take  con- 
secration for  sanctification,  and  look  for  nothing  more.  Then  they 
become  as  Paul  says  in  Heb.  5:12:  "Ye  have  need  that  one  teach 
you  again."  He  says,  "again,"  which  shows  they  had  already 
been  taught,  but  it  must  be  done  .again.  They  had  time  and  experi- 
ence enough  to  be  teachers.  The  Lord  tells  them  in  the  I4th  verse 
they  wanted  this  strong  meat,  or  were  claiming  it,  when  they 
had  to  be  taught  again.  They  were  told  they  must  go  on  and 
learn  something  by  experience,  before  they  could  have  the  strong 
meat.  It  takes  some  longer  than  others,  because  they  are  slower 
to  learn  by  experience;  through  this  delay  they  are  slow  in  grow- 
ing strong  so  they  can  bear  everything.  The  Lord  tells  us  he 
will  not  let  temptations  come  faster  than  we  can  bear  them.  So  it 
was  in  Abraham's  Christian  life.  That  morning  Abraham  rose 
up  early.  In  imagination  I  can  hear  him  say:  "Now,  Abraham, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  285 

you  know  I  told  you  I  wanted  you  to  walk  and  be  perfect  a  long 
time  ago;  and  you  have  consecrated  and  you  walk.  Now  I  want 
you  to  prove  to  me  your  obedience  through  suffering.  I  want  you 
to  learn  obedience,  and  when  you  have  learned  that  by  experience, 
then  you  will  know  how  to  possess  your  own  vessel.  Abraham, 
you  must  learn." 

Jesus  the  Son  learned  obedience  through  suffering.  And  still 
when  Abraham  laid  obedience  on  the  altar  he  was  not  sanctified, 
because  none  are  strong  till  they  suffer.  How  did  Abraham  lay 
obedience  on  the  altar?  By  proving  himself  obedient.  Abraham 
must  suffer  and  obey  God.  He  must  suffer  as  Joseph,  and  learn 
by  experience.  Gen.  37 127 :  "So  God  wanted  this  faithful  man, 
Abraham,  to  learn."  Gen.  22  :g :  "And  Abraham  built  an  altar 
there,  and  laid  the  wood  an  order,  and  bound  Isaac  his  son,  and 
laid  him  on  the  altar  upon  the  wood."  If  we  saw  one  of  our  chil- 
dren going  from  us,  as  Abraham  thought  his  son  was  going,  we 
would  not  bear  the  suffering.  Do  you  think  we  would  lay  the 
wood  in  order?  I  think  our  nerves  would  be  in  such  condition 
from  the  suffering  through  the  three-days'  journey  that  we  would 
say:  "I  am  too  nervous.  I  cannot  stand  it."  We  would  have 
told  God  we  had  not  eaten  or  slept;  and  with  our  heads  tied  up 
we  would  have  said  we  could  not;  that  we  would  be  willing  to 
let  him  go,  but  God  must  let  one  of  the  servants  kill  him.  But 
it  was  not  so  with  faithful  Abraham.  He  had  been  walking  as 
God  told  him  several  years  before;  for  Abraham's  son  was  not 
born  when  he  told  him  to  walk  perfect  before  him.  A  perfect 
consecration  will  afford  a  perfect  walk.  And  now  when  God  wanted 
him  to  learn  by  experience  the  child  could  talk,  so  you  see  he 
had  walked  a  long  time  in  this  consecration  before  he  was  strong 
enough  to  lay  everything  on  the  altar.  He  was  strong  enough, 
and  the  Lord  took  care  of  his  nerves.  We  did  not  hear  him  say, 
as  some  wtould  to-day :  "I  do  not  believe  God  calls  on  anyone  to 
suffer  if  there  is  a  way  out  by  law,  or  doctors,  or  any  way,  that 
suffering  might  not  come."  They  will  manage  some  way  to  find  an 
escape,  but  God  /tells  us  (to  bear  it,  and  he  will  make  the  way  of 
escape,  and  will  not  let  "it  come  if  we  are  unable  to  bear  it.  We 
get  the  way  of  escape  first,  and  the  escape  comes  afterward.  God 
does  not  put  us  to  such  tests  as  he  did  Abraham,  because  we  will 
not  walk  and  get  strong,  and  he  cannot  "let  his  power  be  manifested 
in  us  as  he  did  in  Abraham.  We  wfll  not  obey  God  so  that  we 
can  bring  such  suffering  upon  ourselves,  and  a  free  will  to  act  as 
Abraham  had.  Abraham  did  not  say:  "God,  I  will  not."  He  was 
too  strong  to  .do  anything  but  listen  to  wihat  God  said.  That  is 
just  what  we  should  do,  and  must  do,  regardless  of  what  man 
thinks.  We  must  study  God's  word,  which  is  God  speaking  as 


286  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

much  as  he  spoke  to  Abraham.  And  we  must  obey.  It  is  strange 
the  way  the  children  of  God  look  upon  sanctification  to-day,  after 
Abraham  laid  Isaac  on  the  altar — all  he  had.  The  altar  sancti- 
fied the  gift.  But  the  last  thing  we  lay  on  the  altar  is  our  obedi- 
ence to  God,  and  we  learn  that  through  suffering.  We  have  to 
put  things  on  the  altar  through  suffering.  A  person  who  is  sancti- 
fied has  this  experience  and  is  strengthened.  After  he  has  suffered 
awhile,  as  spoken  of  in  I  Peter  5:10,  he  is  established  and  made 
perfect.  Why?  Because  he  has  suffered;  for  God  says  after  they 
have  suffered  a  while  they  cease  from  sin.  They  that  have  suffered 
in  the  flesh  have  ceased  from  sin.  It  says  a  while,  and  that  while 
means  sometimes  years.  How  well  I  know  by  experience  this  work 
of  sanctification  is  not  all  done  in  twenty-four  hours.  Abraham 
finished  the  work  of  sanctification  when  he  raised  the  knife  to  slay 
his  own  son.  (Gen.  22:10.)  Did  not  this  take  a  while?  God  would 
not  say  he  knew  Abraham  was  sanctified ;  not  to  mention  our  saying 
it.  Neither  did  he  say  he  knew  till  he  was  in  the  act  of  taking 
his  own  son's  life.  In  the  I2th  verse  he  said :  "Now  I  know." 
It  took  a  while  for  God  to  know,  yet  we  are  preaching  that  we 
know  in  ten  minutes.  God  said :  "Now  I  know  that  thou  fearest 
God,  seeing  thou  hast  not  withheld  thy  son,  thine  only  son  from 
me."  God  was  much  pleased  with  Abraham's  obedience.  God  under- 
stood the  completeness  of  his  obedience  to  give  his  only  son.  God 
was  not  satisfied  in  having  Abraham's  will,  but  he  wanted  to  prove 
it.  He  said :  "Seeing  thou  hast  not  withheld  thy  son."  God  says 
let  others  see.  He  wants  to  see  us  act.  How  can  we  blame 
the  people  for  wanting  to  see  our  works?  God  never  said:  "Let 
the  people  hear  your  good  talk."  But  he  did  say:  "Let  others  see 
your  good  works,  that  they  may  be  led  to  glorify  the  Father  which 
is  (in  (heaven."  Did  not  this  show  perfect  love  to  God?  Is  not 
this  perfecting  holiness  in  the  fear  of  God?  (II  Cor.  7:1.)  God 
said :  "Now,  Abraham,  I  know  you  fear  me."  After  many  years 
he  got  where  he  could  go  on  to  perfection  and  be  holy.  Why? 
Because  he  had  learned  perfect  obedience.  In  Hebrews  it  is  said  the 
Son  of  God  learned  obedience  through  suffering.  I  do  not  wonder 
now  that  God  would  not  let  me  talk  or  tea"ch  sanctification.  It  had 
been  a  mystery  to  me  for  years  why  the  Holy  Spirit  would  not 
let  me.  And  now  how  plain  it  all  is.  It  took  time  and  suffering 
for  me  to  become  a  partaker  of  the  fruit  of  sanctification  through 
suffering.  Every  Christian  sdffers  from  the  time  he  begins  to  serve 
God,  but  not  the  suffering  that  is  acceptable  to  God.  He  will  not 
reward  us  unless  we  suffer  with  perfect  patience — not  murmuring, 
or  complaining,  or  fretting.  We  can  weep,  and  be  sad;  that  is 
not  the  spirit  of  complaining.  Young  Christians  starting  out  will  be 
rewarded  in  this  way.  They  will  suffer  till  they  learn  to  be 


OR,      SEEDING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  287 

patient;  and  they  will  know  when  they  have  suffered  enough.  God 
says,  in  James  1 14 :  "But  let  patience  have  her  perfect  work,  that 
ye  may  be  perfect  and  entire,  wanting  nothing."  The  Lord  tells 
us  we  must  suffer.  Heb.  12:11:  "Now  no  chastening  for  the 
present  seerneth  to  be  joyous,  but  grievous:  nevertheless  afterward 
it  yieldeth  the  peaceable  fruit  of  righteousness  unto  them  which  are 
exercised  thereby."  We  have  to  be  chastened  to  get  the  fruit  of 
righteousness.  We  must  bear  with  patience  all  that  comes  into 
our  lives,  whether  at  home,  in  secret,  or  in  our  daily  business.  Oh, 
the  reward  when  we  have  suffered  until  we  have  learned  how  to  be 
patient  in  all  things!  I  do  not  believe  Abraham  told  his  wife  any- 
thing about  it.  I  imagine  if  he  had  there  would  have  been  trouble 
because  he  was  going  to  do  it.  It  would  seem  queer  to  half  the 
women  of  to-day;  and  you  know  Sarah  had  not  the  faith  of  Abra- 
ham, for  she  laughed  when  Abraham  told  her  God  was  going  to 
give  them  a  son.  Many  women  have  thought  it  an  awful  thing  for 
me  to  kiss  any  class  of  people  that  came  along.  They  have  said : 
"1  would  not  kiss  that  woman,  she  is  so  dirty  and  low."  But  it 
was  not  half  so  hard  as  to  Jay  down  one's  life  for  another.  Of 
course  if  you  haven't  love  enough  to  lay  down  your  life,  you  might 
not  have  enough  to  give  a  holy  kiss.  And  it  would  have  been  the 
>ame  with  Abraham,  if  God  had  called  upon  Sarah.  If  she  had 
not  had  a  holy  husband  she  would  have  been  like  many  women  of 
to-day.  There  would  have  been  trouble  if  he  had  told  her,  and  if  he 
had  not  some  of  the  neighbors,  or  some  of  the  church-members 
would  have  thought  it  their  duty  to  meddle,  whether  they  knew 
anything  about  it  or  not. 

CHAPTER  XX. 

WE  cannot  deny  the  fact  that  blind  neighbors,  church  members 
and  husbands  are  all  alike.  If  Abraham  did  tell  his  wife, 
he  had  someone  to  pray  for  him.  Even  though  he  went 
alone  what  a  comfort  it  must  have  been  to  him  to  have  one  at 
home  praying.  God  says  of  Sarah,  in  I  Peter  3:6,  that  she  obeyed 
Abraham.  Who  would  not,  that  had  a  husband  who  walked  holy 
before  God?  No  wonder  she  called  him  Lord'!  But  we  are 
to  know  a  holy  woman  by  her  dress.  I  Peter  3:5:  "For  after  this 
manner  in  the  olden  times  the  holy  women  also,  who  trusted  in 
God,  adorned  themselves."  Not  with  the  "outward  adorning  of 
plaiting  the  hair,  or  the  wearing  of  gold,  or  of  putting  on  of 
apparel."  (3d  verse.)  But  as  in  the  4th  verse:  "Let  it  be  the 
hidden  man  of  the  heart,  in  that  which  is  not  corruptible,  even  the 
ornament  of  a  meek  and  quiet  spirit,  which  is  in  the  sight  of  God 
of  great  price."  Thus  the  women  of  olden  times  distinguished  them- 


288  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     JVILD 

selves  from  those  who  did  not  keep  God's  commandments.  God 
says  they  that  have  not  the  spirit  of  God  are  none  of  his.  The 
women  that  are  of  the  world,  of  course,  go  headlong,  with  nothing 
to  stand  between  them  and  fashion.  Their  minds  are  not  occupied 
as  women  who  love  God,  as  did  Abraham's  wife.  They  were  both 
ready,  from  experience  through  suffering,  to  live  holy  and  obedient 
lives  to  God.  He  had  proved  himself  to  God,  and  God  had  said: 
"I  see  you  fear  me."  Then  he  poured  out  the  blessings  on  Abra- 
ham; because  he  knew,  after  all  faithful  Abraham  had  suffered,  it 
would  not  spoil  him  if  he  gave  bountifully  of  the  things  of  this  life. 
What  God  said  had  more  power  in  it  than  cannon-balls  to-day. 
Sometimes  they  do  not  hit  where  they  are  aimed;  but  God's  word 
is  isure  not  to  miss,  and  you  will  ,feel  it  in  some  way,  whether 
you  receive  it  or  not.  God  will  bless  those  that  fear  him.  Isaiah 
66:2:  "For  all  those  things  hath  mine  hand  made,  and  all  those 
things  hath  been,  saith  the  Lord :  but  to  this  man  will  I  look,  even 
to  him  that  is  poor  and  of  a  contrite  spirit,  and  trembleth  at  my 
word."  Abraham  did.  He  hearkened  to  what  God  said,  regardless 
of  his  feelings.  As  Laban  and  Abraham  learned  by  experience,  so 
must  we.  It  takes  iexperience  to  perfect  a  trade;  then  we  are 
ready  to  be  numbered  with  the  tradesmen.  May  we  hasten  to  learn 
by  experience,  that  we  may  be  ready  for  perfecting,  and  be  num- 
bered with  the  saints.  God's  word  tells  us  the  saints  are  the  ones 
who  are  sanctified.  They  are  the  ones  w!ho  are  ready  for  the  per- 
fecting of  the  saints  spoken  of  in  Eph.  4:12.  And  Jin  the  I5th 
verse :  "But  speaking  the  truth  in  love."  Do  you  see  the  work 
that  must  be  done  in  laying  aside  all  carnal  things,  that  we  may 
get  sthis  love?  This  same  verse  tells  you  that  you  grow  up  into 
him  in  all  things.  That  is  what  Paul  meant  when  he  said:  "I 
press  forward  to  the  mark  of  the  high  calling  in  Christ  Jesus."  He 
was  growing  up  into  Christ.  It  takes  time  to>  grow  (i3th  verse), 
"Till  we  all  come."  Before  we  come  we  will  have  something  to  do. 
If  you  were  in  Europe  and  said  to  me,  "I  will  wait  till  you  come," 
and  I  said,  "I  will  come,"  then  I  would  have  something  to  do  to 
come.  And  you  will  have  something  to  /d°  to  measure  up  to  the 
stature  of  Christ,  and  the  fullness,  that  we  "be  no  more  children" 
(4th  verse),  but  men,  and  perfect  men,  as  God  tells  us  in  the 
1 3th  verse.  If  we  are  careful  to  hearken  to  God's  word,  and 
obey,  and  do  his  will  in  every  little  thing,  and  do  not  let  the  devil 
hinder  us,  then  we  will  soon  get  into  the  condition  where  we  can 
lay  everything  on  the  altar.  Then  we  will  be  where  we  can  do 
something.  God  tells  us  in  II  Cor.  10:6:  "And  having  in  a  readi- 
ness to  revenge  all  disobedience,  when  your  obedience  is  fulfilled." 
It  means  something  to  fully  live  the  meaning  of  sanctification.  It 
means  to  obey  God's  word  from  Genesis  to  Revelation,  then  we 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  289 

arc  ready  to  be  perfected.  This  is  the  only  way,  if  you  desire 
this  kind  of  life.  You  must  live  for  it,  and  you  will  be  made  clean 
through  the  truth.  Jesus  said,  John  17:12:  "While  I  was  with 
them  in  the  world,  I  kept  them  in  thy  name."  In  the  I4th  verse 
he  says:  "I  have  given  them  thy  word;  and  the  world  hath  hated 
them."  You  see  he  is  about  to  leave  them,  and  they  have  enough 
of  God's  word,  and  are  now  living  enough  of  the  truth  that  they 
are  hated;  and  now  to  stand  they  must  be  sanctified.  He  said  he 
had  already  given  the  word  to  them,  and  they  had  three  years  of 
experience.  He  had  taught  them,  and  they  had  obeyed,  and  had 
lost  no  time  as  we  do,  but  had  been  with  the  Savior  all  the  time, 
learning.  Now  the  i;th  verse:  "Sanctify  them  through  the  truth: 
thy  word  is  truth."  It  is  by  receiving  the  truth,  by  studying  the 
bible,  and  doing  what  it  says,  you  are  sanctified.  You  exercise 
faith,  but  faith  without  works  does  not  make  you  clean.  Sanctifica- 
tion  is  living  God's  word.  Not  saying  I  am  holy,  sanctified,  for  that 
is  a  mistake;  but  live  it.  Look  at  it  as  Job  did.  Job  9:20:  "If 
I  justify  myself,  my  own  mouth  shall  condemn  me:  if  I  say,  I 
am  perfect,  it  shall  also  prove  me  perverse."  21  st  verse:  "Though 
I  were  perfect,  yet  wtould  I  not  know  my  soul."  Because  we  can- 
not see  as  God  sees.  He  can  see  things  in  us  that  we  would  not 
dream  were  there.  We  may  go  for  years,  and  then  through  some 
experience  find  these  imperfections  in  ourselves.  And  all  these 
years  we  have  been  saying:  "Holy;  a  clean  heart;  perfect."  I 
John  1:8:  "If  we  say  that  we  have  no  sin,  we  deceive  ourselves, 
and  the  truth  is  not  in  us."  I  have  heard  people  say  they  were  holy. 
Holy  means  no  sin.  It  is  not  on  record  that  Paul  gave  any  such 
testimony;  his  was  more  like  John's.  But  if  we  walk  in  the  light, 
as  he  is  in  the  light,  the  blood  cleanseth  us  from  all  sin.  Some- 
times through  ignorance  we  do  not  walk  in  the  light.  We  may  be 
saying  holy  at  the  time  of  our  ignorance,  then  some  experience 
will  come  into  our  lives  and  show  us  we  are  ignorant;  and  then. 
we  will  know  we  were  not  holy  as  we  thought.  Let  God  call  us 
holy,  and  let  him  ,say  to  us  as  he  did  to  Abraham :  "Now  I  know 
you  fear  me."  We  can't  be  too  careful  in  living  this  perfect  life, 
nor  in  saying  we  have  no  sin.  When  we  say  this  we  pass  judgment 
upon  ourselves ;  and  the  Lord  says  judge  nothing  till  the  time  comes. 
The  disciples  did  not  receive  the  Holy  Ghost  at  the  time  the 
Lord  said  "Father,  sanctify  them  through  the  truth."  It  took 
some  time  to  prepare  the  temple  for  the  Holy  Ghost  to  dwell 
therein.  It  was  ten  days  after  the  Savior  ascended  that  the  Holy 
Ghost  took  up  his  abode  in  the  temple.  They  had  no  need  to  tell 
.it;  the  sinners  knew  as  well  as  they,  for  they  turned  the  city  up- 
side down.  They  preached  Jesus  Christ  only,  and  him  crucified; 
not  themselves,  nor  what  they  had.  Christ  was  held  up  before  the 


2QO  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

people.  And  when  the  Holy  Ghost  showed  them  that  the  people 
were  ready  for  the  baptism  of  the  Holy  Ghost,  they  preached  it, 
or  told  the  people  about  it,  and  asked  them  if  they  had  it;  but 
they  made  no  claim  of  sanctification.  Perhaps  some  did  not  know 
the  meaning  of  the  word.  People  would  know  if  those  who  have 
it  would  live  it.  The  difference  would  be  apparent,  and  many  would 
be  led  into  the  truth.  We  are  to  confess  Christ  in  the  testimony 
of  the  blood.  If  .we  fail  to  confess  him  we  are  lost.  It  does 
not  say  to  confess  holiness,  but  it  does  say  we  are  to  live  it;  and 
if  our  lives  are  not  holy  we  have  no  promise  of  seeing  God,  for 
none  but  the  pure  in  heart  shall  see  God.  What  is  more  of  a  con- 
fession than  to  live  such  a  life?  God  says  not  to  love  in  word, 
but  in  deed  and  truth.  What  is  holiness?  It  is  to  love  God  with 
all  our  heart,  and  your  neighbor  as  yourself;  not  to  say  that  you 
love  your  neighbor,  but  to  love  him.  It  will  show  for  itself.  God 
says  love  worketh  no  ill  to  his  neighbor.  If  we  have  this  love  we 
will  show  mercy,  and  live  a  life  not  learned  in  a  day.  We  must 
bear  with  one  another  till  we  have  strength  to  live  such  a  life. 

I  have  learned  from  the  least  to  the  greatest  thing  much  mercy 
and  patience  are  needed.  God  will  give  pure,  holy  love  to  us.  so 
we  can  love  everyone  as  our  own  children,  and  show  them  the  same 
kindness  and  mercy,  even  with  all  their  faults.  I  do  not  mean 
that  we  are  to  take  them!  in,  and  feed  and  clothe  them  as  we  do 
our  own,  but  be  as  patient,  and  say  no  more  about  their  faults  than 
we  would  of  our  own.  We  can  help  them  more  in  that  way  than 
to  feed  and  clothe  them.  It  is  not  what  wrong  they  have  done 
themselves.  It  is  what  they  have  done  to  others  and  myself.  It 
is  the  way  they  have  wronged  me  in  my  work.  No  one  can  look 
me  in  the  face  and  say  truthfully  I  ever  spoke  evil  of  him.  True, 
I  have  spoken  of  many  who  have  wronged  me,  but  Paul  did  that 
when  he  spoke  of  the  goldsmith,  and  the  false  brethren  he  had 
suffered  from;  but  he  did  not  speak  evil  of  the  wrongs  they 
had  committed  other  ways.  He  did  not  speak  of  them  except  as 
concerning  the  wrong  they  had  done  him.  It  can  only  be  said  that 
I  have  given  kind  words  and  deeds  in  return.  I  challenge  one  to 
face  me  at  the  bar  of  God  and  say  I  have  worked  ill  to  my  neigh- 
bor. ,1  have  made  mistakes,  but  they  have  been  against  myself,  and 
not  against  my  brother  or  sister.  It  is  not  wrong  to  say  this,  for 
Paul  said,  "we  have  wronged  no  man,"  and  it  is  our  privilege  to 
say  the  same  when  we  know  it  is  true.  We  are  not  to  change  our 
testimony  as  children  of  God.  The  word  says  we  are  to  let  our 
deeds  speak.  I  do  not  have  to  tell  anyone  that  my  little  girl  is 
growing  as  large  as  I.  Before  I  realize  it  everyone  is  saying: 
"How  your  daughter  has  grown,"  We  can  be  convinced  by  seeing 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  2QI 

more  than  by  words.  We  are  not  to  let  the  right  hand  know  what 
the  left  hand  doeth.  The  Lord  told  the  one  he  healed  to  go  and 
tell  no  man,  not  even  -the  priest ;  but  show  him  and  let  him  see  you 
are  not  sick.  If  you  are  living  a  life  of  sanctification  everyone 
will  know  it,  and  you  will  be  saved  a  multitude  of  words  in  expla- 
nation. We  will  be  like  a  city,  set  upon  a  hill,  that  cannot  be 
hid;  lor  a  light  in  a  candle-stick.  We  must  let  the  people  see 
that  our  Christian  lives  are  not  simply  words,  or  gift  Of  speech,  or 
loud  prayer^,  hut  w«>rk-.  Tim-  .}  15 :  "Not  by  works  of  righteous- 

hich  we  have  done,  but  according  to  his  mercy  he  saved  us, 
by  the  washing  of  regeneration,  and  renewing  of  the  Holy  Ghost." 
(io<l  help  us  to  go  on  and  get  the  renewing.  That  will  help  us  to 
live  as  we  have  been  teaching;  that  will  take  all  the  conceit  out 
so  we  will  acknowledge  to  ourselves  and  to  others  how 
many  mi>takes  we  have  made.  Except  for  his  mercy  we  would  be 

And  if  we  do  not  see  that  it  is  by  his  mercy,  and  not  by 
what  we  have  done,  we  are.  indeed,  unprofitable  servants.  We  can 
learn  all  through  our  lives,  and  at  the  end  we  can  only  say  as  Paul 
said  as  he  looked  back  on  hi^  Christian  race:  "I  have  fought  a 
good  fight,  I  have  finished  my  course,  I  have  kept  the  faith."  He 
could  say  no  more  than  the  one  with  one  talent.  I  have  kept  the 
faith.  I  have  struggled,  and  fought,  and  endured.  One  with 
one  talent  can  do  this,  though  the  world  may  not  recognize  he  has 
even  that.  In  I  John  3:18.  he  tell>  the  little  children  to  see.  They 
are  grown  men  and  women,  but  children  in  the  faith.  "Let  us  not 
love  in  word,  neither  in  tongue."  He  does  not  want  us  to  talk 
about  it. 

I  am  so  glad  I  did  not  testify  or  teach  sanctification  till  the 
Holy  Spirit  led  me.  I  did  not  try  to  consecrate  myself,  but  let 
the  Spirit  do  the  consecrating.  When  that  work  is  done  do  not 
think  it  is  sanctification.  Do  not  fail  to  see  that  you  have  suffered 
patiently  in  your  consecration.  God  tests  consecration  as  well  as 
obedience.  Do  not  think  that  you  give  your  will  in  consecration. 
You  give  your  will  through  obedience,  in  the  keenest  suffering; 
and  you  will  say  as  Jesus  said:  "Father,  not  my  will  but  thine." 
When  he  said,  "Father,  sanctify  them,"  the  Lord  intended  to 
grant  tlie  request,  but  he  did  not  do*  it  at  that  hour.  If 
he  had,  they  would  not  have  been  contending  as  they 
did  afterwards.  Let  us  put  ourselves  in  the  place  of  the  dis- 
ciples, after  the  Lord  was  crucified  and  laid  in  the  tomb.  They 
were  left  in  the  hands  of  the  scribes  and  Pharisees,  who  were  bitter 
against  their  Master.  Not  having  the  Holy  Ghost  to  comfort 
them  (they  had  only  the  promise),  they  were  afraid,  and  hid 
away  in  a  room  by  themselves.  But  they  did  not  give  up  their 
faith.  And  then  when  he  left  them  were  they  not  lost  in  grief? 


2p2  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

An  angel  had  to  coirje  and  tell  them  to  go.  As  I  write  I  can  seem 
to  put  myself  in  their  place,  till  my  own  heart  is  almost  broken  ; 
and  while  the  tears  are  running  down  my  face,  and  blinding  my 
eyes  till  I  stop  and  brush  them  away,  by  faith  I  hear  them  say  in 
their  agony:  "We  will  stick  to  the  faith."  In  their  suffering 
their  will  is  placed  on  the  altar  through  obedience.  They  obey 
the  Lord  by  tarrying  till  the  Holy  Ghost  should  come,  and  the 
work  of  sanctification  be  completed.  When  the  last  thing  was  on 
the  altar  the  temple  was  made  clean ;  and  then  the  Holy  Ghost  came 
in  upon  them.  We  can  have  the  blessing  of  his  presence  which 
makes  our  hearts  burn  within  us,  as  the  disciples  had  when  they 
met  the  Savior  on  the  way  to  Emmaus,  and  not  have  the  baptism 
of  the  Holy  Ghost;  for  he  does  not  come  in  till  the  temple  is 
made  clean.  But  his  presence  will  make  our  hearts  burn,  and 
our  faith  will  give  us  the  victory;  but  when  he  comes  to  stay,  and 
the  Holy  Ghost  takes  up  his  abode  in  these  temples  of  ours,  then 
we  will  do  the  work  they  did.  We  may  be  doing  some  of  the  work, 
as  did  they,  before  being  rilled  with  the  Holy  Ghost;  but  not  won- 
derful work.  I  have  heard  leading  ministers  say  they  had  a  little  of 
the  Spirit.  Never  does  he  come  like  that.  He  will  not  be  broken 
up  in  pieces,  and  give  himself  little  by  little.  Oh,  God;  open  the 
eyes  of  our  understanding,  and  let  us  see  the  great  mystery  of  god- 
liness. We  can  have  a  little  faith,  and  a  little  love,  and  hope,  and 
good  works;  but  the  Holy  Ghost  is  one  of  the  three  of  the  Trinity, 
and  he  comes  after  the  temple  is  made  clean  through  truth,  and 
Jesus  Christ,  and  his  blood.  The  Holy  Ghost  is  the  first  and  the 
last.  He  comes  and  convicts  us  of  sin.  He  takes  the  things  of 
Christ  and  reveals  them  to  us;  and  then  in  righteousness  he  leads 
us,  if  we  have  asked  the  Father  for  him,  and  then  convicts  us  of 
judgment.  The  last  work  he  does  is  when  we  are  ready  for  him, 
and  then  he  comes  and  takes  up  his  abode  in  our  hearts.  The  Lord 
tells  us  he  sis  given  to  them  that  obey  him ;  and  when  we  have 
learned  obedience,  as  did  the  Son  of  God,  we  will  not  only  have 
him  to  guide  and  lead  us,  but  he  will  abide  with  us. 

When  I  asked  the  Father  for  the  Holy  Spirit  he  gave  him 
to  me  to  lead  tme  as  I  had  asked.  And  I  have  seen  him.  You 
may  think  I  am  saying  too  much,  but  I  know  I  have,  as  well  as 
I  know  I  was  converted.  I  saw  him  after  I  had  made  the  conse- 
cration. He  was  as  beautiful  and  bright  as  the  rainbow.  He 
was  not  in  me,  but  by  me,  a  few  feet  distant,  and  about  a  yard 
from  the  floor.  His  presence  I  felt  as  plainly  as  the  disciples  felt 
the  burning  in  their  hearts  when  the  Savior  stood  by  them.  He 
seemed  to  be  resting  on  the  wings 'of  the  air.  What  power,  and 
strength,  and  thoughts,  came  to  me!  This  is  why  I  cannot  believe 
we  can  get  a  little  of  him.  When  I  saw  him,  these  were  the  thoughts 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  293 

that  came  to  me:  "This  is  he  that  came  to  help  and  comfort." 
Then  I  knew  he  was  the  Holy  Ghost.  He  did  not  come  into  me, 
nor  come  on  me,  as  on  the  disciples  in  the  supper  room ;  but  he 
did  help  me  as  he  stood  there  on  the  wings  of  the  air.  I  still 
think  I  have  not  been  baptized  with  the  Holy  Ghost,  or  with  fire. 
I  cannot  help  thinking  that  when  I  am  baptized  with  the  fire  of 
the  Holy  Ghost,  and  he  takes  up  his  abode  in  this  temple  of  mine. 
I  will  know  it  as  plainly  as  I  knew  he  led  and  helped  me.  I  do  not 
think  the  time  is  far  distant  when,  by  the  grace  of  God,  if  I  am 
faithful  to  the  covenant  I  made  with  the  Lord  and  pay  the  vows 
I  have  made,  I  will  preach  the  gospel.  When  my  child  is  old 
enough  to  get  along  without  her  mother's  care,  I  will  finish  the 
work  he  called  me  to  do.  This  I  call  tarrying  at  Jerusalem,  as  the 
disciples  did.  But  when  I  finish  this  book  I  do  not  intend  to  tarry 
another  day.  I  shall  drop  the  muzzle  that  has  held  me  for  twenty- 
one  years,  and  look  for  the  Great  Comforter.  The  Holy  Ghost  will 
only  lead  me  so  far  as  I  have  experience  to  go.  I  have  never  but 
once  tried  to  lead  myself,  and  then  I  knew  it  well.  I  will  soon  come 
to  th^t  part  of  my  experience  which  will  explain  it  fully.  A  brother 
in  Christ  called  on  me  one  day,  and  I  told  him  I  was  going  to  write 
against  sanctification  in  my  book.  He  said :  "Sister  Peterson,  I 
thought  you  were  sanctified."  I  told  him  I  was.  He  said :  "If 
you  do  this,  God  will  not  bless  you."  I  said :  "My  brother,  I  know 
he  will,  if  I  take  the  right  kind.  I  do  not  denounce  bible  sancti- 
fication, but  I  do  denounce  the  way  it  is  being  preached,  taught, 
and  lived  by  most  of  the  believers ;  and  God  would  punish  me 
if  I  did  not  denounce  this  kind,  for  I  told  him  I  would  the  even- 
ing this  passage  of  scripture  came  to  me  'Do  you  hear  the  sound 
in  the  top  of  the  mulberry  trees?'  "  I  said  I  would  never  encourage 
the  doctrine,  for  it  was  not  sound  doctrine.  Did  they  not  get  up 
and  acknowledge  they  were  not  sanctified  after  Carradine  was  here? 
I  said:  "I  tell  you,  my  dear  brother,  you  are  not  sanctified.  You 
cannot  tell  me  that  you  are  even  walking  in  the  light  of  consecra- 
tion. I  would  say  the  same  to  my  own  mother.  There  was  a  time 
when  I  was  afraid  to  say  what  the  Spirit  led  me  to  say;  but  I 
am  not  now.  Do  you  know,  my  brother,  every  time  you  testify  you 
say  in  a  loud  voice :  'Saved  and  sanctified ;  glory  to  God ;'  and  at 
the  same  time  you  were  talking  about  me,  and  repeating  things  you 
heard  from  others,  and  I  knew  from  the  bible  this  is  not  sanctified 
fruit,  but  carnal  fru.it ;  and  I  know  that  carnal  words  do  not  come 
out  of  sanctified  mouths."  He  was  not  the  only  one  who  was 
going  from  house  to  house,  speaking  and  repeating  things  that 
God  tells  us  are  not.  good.  Eph.  5:12:  "For  it  is  a  shame  even 
to  speak  of  those  things  which  are  done  of  them  in  secret."  Yet 
many  professing  sanctification  repeat  things  that  are  not  edifying  to 


2Q4  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

the  listeners,  and  words  that  are  not  seasoned  with  grace,  as  God 
says  every  word  should  be.  May  God  have  mercy,  and  help  them  to 
see  where  they  are.  It  is  bad  enough  to  be  there  and  know  it; 
but  what  an  awful  thing  to  be  there  and  not  know  it!  Heb.  5:12: 
"For  when  for  the  time  ye  ought  to  be  teachers,  ye  have  need  that 
one  teach  you  again  which  be  the  first  principles  of  the  oracles  of 
Go-d ;  and  are  become  such  as  have  need  of  milk."  What  brought 
them  to  this  condition?  Just  what  I  rebuked  the  brother  for,  else 
why  did  God  say  they  have  need  of  milk,  and  not  strong  meat? 
While  leading  meetings  out- at  Fort  Logan  there  were  some  who 
testified  to  sanctification,  and  stated  in  the  meetings  they  wanted 
everyone  who  was  sanctified,  or  believed  in  it,  to  hold  up  their 
hands,  and  almost  all  were  strangers  to  salvation,  to  say  nothing 
of  sanctification.  I  said :  "This  is  not  in  order,  and  I  would  rather 
that  word  would  not  be  mentioned  till  they  are  saved."  I  was  pray- 
ing that  our  faith  might  be  of  one  accord.  And  word  went  to  Den- 
ver that  I  was  fighting  sanctification,  yet  I  said  in  my  very  next 
words  that  I  believed  in  this  blessing,  and  was  walking  in  the  light  of 
it,  but  it  must  be  taught  to  the  saved,  and  not  to  sinners.  It  reached 
the  mission,  and  was  talked  of  there  by  the  sanctified.  The  news 
was  brought  to  me  by  one  who  made  loud  profession  of  this  bless- 
ing. Was  it  a  Christian  principle  for  those  at  the  Fort  to  tell 
it,  even  if  it  were  true?  Why  did  they  not  come  to  me  and  say 
what  they  had  to  say,  and  then  go  on  about  their  business?  Was 
it  right  for  the  sanctified  one  to  repeat  what  they  said,  and  he  a 
leader,  teaching  holiness?  Was  it  right  for  him  to  tell  me?  Did 
he  not  need  one  to  teach  him  the  first  principles  of  the  true  doctrine? 
Many  sanctified  men  and  women  would  not  even  look  toward  me,  to 
say  nothing  of  speaking  to  me,  when  I  was  going  through  my 
trial ;  and  after  the  trial  they  gave  me  a  wide  berth  for  months  in 
meetings  and  when  I  met  them  on  the  street.  One  afternoon  after 
the  jail  services  I  went  into  the  Salvation  Army  meeting  on  Six- 
teenth street,  where  the  Haymarket  Mission  used  to  be  when  I 
worked  there.  Everyone  who  has  been  there  knows  how  wide 
the  steps  are.  As  I  started  up  the  steps  out  came  a  brother  and 
his  wife.  He  was  a  sanctified  teacher  and  leader;  but  as  they  saw 
me  coming  they  started  off  at  an  angle  down  the  steps,  to  avoid 
coming  face  to  face  with  me.  I  looked  at  them,  but  they  were 
watching  their  feet  so  they  would  not  fall,  and  did  not  see  me, 
or  did  not  want  to  isee  me.  I  lifted  my  heart  to  God  and  said, 
"God  help  them,"  and  went  on.  Now  what  kind  of  fruit  would 
you  call  that?  This  is  so  true;  it  is  my  own,  personal  experience, 
not  what  I  ihave  heard,  or  read.  And  these  .same  people  get  up 
and  say  a  tree  is  known  by  its  fruits !  What  are  fruits?  Not  words, 
nor  works.  The  fruits  of  the  Spirit  are  love,  joy,  peace,  long- 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  2Q5 

suffering,  gentleness,  goodness,  faith,  meekness,  temperance.  The.se 
are  the  nine  fruits  spoken  of  in  Gal.  5  :22.  Did  he  show  me  any  of 
the  fruits  as  he  went  down  the  steps  that  afternoon?  I  looked, 
but  I  could  not  see  them.  This  same  one  seldom  testifies  that  he 
does  not  say :  "Thank  God,  a  'tree  is  known  by  its  fruits."  Was 
he  so  blind  he  could  not  see  the  fruit  on  his  own  tree?  We  must 
have  a  single  eye,  so  we  can  see  at  home,  but  not  so  far  away. 
I  have  been  in  homes  where  both  husband  and  wife  were  sanctified, 
yet  they  would  contend  with  one  another.  How  could  their  chil- 
dren have  one  bit  of  confidence  in  their  religion?  You  may  not 
see  at  once  that  the  life  you  live  before  your  children  has  much 
effect  either  way;  but  let  your  words  and  lives,  whether  they 
are  sanctified  or  not,  be  such  that  your  children  will  say:  "My 
father  and  mother  were  true  Christians ;  they  proved  themsleves." 
Religion  will  then  have  some  effect  upon  them;  and  whether  you 
are  dead  or  alive,  the  work  of  your  life  will  not  be  in  vain,  and 
some  time  the  Spirit  will  convict  them;  and  they  will  be  saved.  Do 
not  be  a  tyrant  in  your  home.  Do  not  be  cross  and  ugly,  as  some 
of  the  sanctified  are.  This  is  the  kind  of  sanctification  I  shall 
hope  to  stop  with  the  influence  of  my  book,  and  in  the  meetings 
where  I  go.  And  God  will  bless  me,  and  the  bible  sanctification, 
for  it  is  sound  doctrine.  I  exhort  you  to  seek  with  all  your  hearts, 
and  do  with  all  your  might,  or  your  lives  as  Christians  will  be  fail- 
ures, and  there  will  be  no  reward  for  your  Christian  work.  We 
•ought  not  to  run  any  risks,  when  it  comes  to  our  souls.  It  is 
better  to  be  careless  about  anything  else.  God  has  warned  us  in 
Heb.  4:1:  "Let  us  therefore  fear,  lest  a  promise  being  left  us 
of  entering  upon  his  rest,  any  of  you  should  seem  to  come  short 
of  it."  Would  it  not  be  dreadful,  if  after  all  we  should  come 
short,  and  hear  the  Lord  say,  "Depart,"  at  last,  when  we  have  been 
saying  for  years  that  we  loved  the  Lord?  Oh,  let  us  take  care  that 
we  do  not  come  short.  "Oh,  house  of  David;  Is  it  a  small  thing 
for  you  to  weary  men,  but  will  you  weary  my  God  also?"  (Is.  7 113.) 
The  brother  I  have  referred  to  who  owed  me  the  $14  went 
down  town  to  board,  and  two  or  three  others  had  gone,  and  you 
can't  know  how  glad  I  was  to  have  my  burdens  lightened.  While 
they  were  holding  the  summer  camp  meeting  at  Fort  Collins,  they 
tried  their  best  to  get  me  to  go,  but  having  so  much  to  do  at  home, 
I  decided  not  to  go.  This  sister  with  whom  the  brother  I  had 
lent  the  money  to  was  staying,  wanted  to  go,  but  her  means  were 
limited,  as  her  husband  was  out  in  the  country  at  work.  She 
was  up  at  the  house,  and  asked  me  about  the  brother.  I  did  not 
like  to  tell  her  how  careless  he  was  in  keeping  straight  with  the 
world,  that  it  was  his  besetting  sin  that  caused  him  to  get  in 
this  condition,  but  I  did  not  want  her  to  blame  me  for  not  telling 


2p6  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

her.;  so  <on  our  way  to 'the  street  meeting  that  evening  (this  sister, 
Jennie  and  myself),  I  began  to  tell  her  about  the  habits  of  this 
brother.  I  had  not  said  much  when  she  turned  to  me  and  said: 
"Sister  Peterson,  that  is  not  altogether  drink.  It  is  morphine,  too." 
Well,  I  said  it  might  be ;  I  did  not  know. 

She  said  she  stopped  with  a  doctor  and  his  wife  and  they  both 
used  the  drug,  and  if  he  was  willing  to  doctor  she  knew  it  could  be 
cured.  I  had  tried  so  long  rto  get  him  to  stop  that  I  had  given  up 
all  hope.  Having  no  faith,  I  said:  "You  can  try,  if  you  wish,  but 
my  faith  is  all  gone."  She  told  me  she  would  cure  him;  but  he 
must  lay  off  a  week  or  ten  days.  I  told  her  he  could  not,  as  he 
had  no  money.  She  said :  "Well,  I  cannot  board  him,  for  I  am 
close,  financially,  myself."  I  saw  she  was  sure  he  could  be  cured, 
so  I  said  to  her :  "I  will  do  my  part ;  I  will  furnish  the  grub."  I 
was  giving  to  other  families,  and  could  help  her,  too.  I  said : 
"My  sister,  before  you  begin  this  do  not  ask  me  to  pray,  for  I 
have  not  one  bit  of  faith.  You  will  have  to  do  the  praying,  and  I 
the  work."  She  said :  "Never  mind,  I  will  have  the  faith."  We 
went  on  talking.  I  do  not  remember  what  was  said  that  made 
me  say  what  I  did,  but  I  have  known  since  why  I  said  it. 
I  spoke  with  such  earnestness  I  knew  the  Spirit  had  filled 
me,  but  I  did  not  think  for  what  purpose  at  the  time.  I  had  al- 
ready seen  so  many  families  wrecked,  and  broken-hearted  mothers, 
and  starving  children,  because  of  this  dreadful  habit,  that  I  could 
not  help  saying  from  the  depths  of  my  heart :  "Do  you  know,  if  • 
I  were  single  a  thousand  times,  I  would  not  marry  a  man  who  drank, 
if  every  hair  of  his  head  w.ere  gold  and  decked  with  diamonds.  It 
is  a  dreadful  curse,  and  causes  every  member  of  the  home  to 
suffer.  If  anyone  said  to  me,  'Sister  Peterson,  take  your  choice, 
marry  a  man  who  drinks,  or  choose  your  coffin/  if  there  was 
no  other  way,  I  would  say:  'I  will  take  my  coffin/  and  go  home 
to  glory,  instead  of  living  in  hell  here."  I  was  deeply  in  earnest, 
and  when  this  trouble  came  up  three  weeks  later,  it  came  back  to 
me,  word  for  word,  what  I  had  said  to  her.  I  could  hardly  believe 
my  own  ears,  when  they  told  me  what  she  said.  I  had  been  so 
kind  to  her  in  everything.  After  the  brother  was  well,  and  had 
gone  back  to  work,  she  said :  "I  would  give  anything  if  I  could 
go  to  the  camp  meeting."  I  told  her  I  would  do  what  I  could  to 
assist  her  to  get  ready,  so  we  put  up  a  lot  of  stuff  for  her  to  eat, 
and  I  helped  her  with  the  bedding  and  provisions  down  to  Brother 
Stark's,  as  she  was  to  go  with  them.  Then  she  said:  "I  cannot  go 
unless  someone  Looks  after  my  flowers  and  birds,  and  tends  the 
man's  room."  I  knew  it  would  not  be  more  than  twenty  minutes* 
work,  and  she  said  she  would  not  be  gone  more  than  a  week,  so 
I  told  her  I  would  start  earlier  to  the  street  meeting',  and  look  after 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  2Q7 

her  things  on  the  way  down ;  but  I  would  not  do  it  unless  she 
would  speak  to  the  landlord  about  my  coming.  The  landlady  had 
gone  east,  but  he  said  it  would  be  all  right,  and  she  got  ready 
and  went.  I  did  not  go  till  after  supper.  My  niece  and  I  went 
down  together,  she  going  on  to  see  to  getting  the  wagon  hitched 
up,  and  to  find  a  driver.  She  met  me  on  Seventeenth  and  Larimer 
streets  with  the  wagon.  She  will  tell  you  that  I  was  always  on 
time.  I  iwould  attend  to  the  room  and  walk  seven  blocks,  and 
be  there  for  the  wagon.  Sister  Worthiam  knows  I  did  not  miss 
the  street  meeting  one  evening.  I  can  prove  by  the  folk  at  home 
that  I  was  home  every  evening  as  soon  as  the  street  meeting  was 
over.  But  there  came  a  letter  to  the  house,  telling  Mr.  Peterson 
I  stopped  half  the  night  at  this  man's  room,  after  the  street  meeting. 
Of  course  that  did  not  make  any  trouble,  for  he  and  his  partner 
both  knew  there  was  never  a  blacker  falsehood  told;  but  what 
would  have  happened  if  I  had  been  late,  as  I  often  was  in  going 
to  see  the  sick  and  dying,  and  such  a  letter  as  that  had  come.  Other 
things  were  told,  which  I  will  not  mention.  How  good  God  was 
in  not  letting  me  be  called  out  in  that  week !  What  trouble  these 
church  members  would  have  made  for  me!  They  also  talked  about 
his -being  at  the  house.  What  harm  could  they  make  of  that, 
when  there  were  from  three  to  four  women  in  the  house  all  the 
time;  besides  two  men  eating  there  steady?  They  tried  by  letter, 
and  every  other  way,  to  make  me  trouble  in  my  home;  and  when 
they  failed  to  do  this  they  did  not  give  up,  but  took  it  into  the 
church.  Even  before  this  they  had  sent  letters  to  Brother  B — , 
when  he  was  east,  and  told  him  the  wagon  was  not  run  right.  So 
one  evening,  while  I  was  leading  the  street  meeting,  Brother  R — 
came  up  to  me  and  asked  if  I  would  please  go  over  to  Brother  B — 's 
the  next  afternoon.  There  I  met  Brother  S — ,  and  we  had  a 
talk  about  the  wagon.  Brother  S —  said  he  did  not  think  any- 
thing was  wrong  with  the  wagon,  or  the  meetings.  I  had  worked 
so  hard  all  summer,  and  had  so  much  trouble  to  get  a  driver,  and 
had  done  all  I  could  in  getting  the  best  ones  on  the  wagon  to  testify. 
There  were  two  testimonies  that  were  a  little  out  of  the  order,  but 
not  enough  to  hurt  the  meeting.  It  discouraged  me,  for  I  knew 
someone  else  wanted  the  wagon,  and  my  place  as  leader,  whether 
they  said  so  or  not ;  for  I  had  had  such  work  done  before,  and  I 
knew  what  their  object  was  as  soon  as  I  went  over  Jo  see  what 
was  wanted.  What  were  these  letters  written  for?  There  could 
be  no  other  object.  I  was  told  what  caused  them  to  be  tempted 
to  do  as  they  did.  I  told  Brother  R —  he  could  get  anyone  to  lead 
the  wagon  he  wanted;  I  would  stop.  I  said:  "Perhaps  you  have 
someone  now.  If  you  have,  I  am  willing  to  quit."  IJe  said :  "No, 
it  is  all  right."  I  knew  there  was  more  than  one  against  me,  and 


2p8  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

the  Spirit  almost  compelled  me  that  afternoon  to  tell  him  I  would 
not  go  on  that  /wagon  again.  I  said :  "Lord,  is  this  you,  or  is 
it  that  I  am  so  hurt ,  about  the  underhanded  work  that  I  think  it 
is  you?"  I  did  hot  want  to  do  anything  hastily,  so  I  let  it  go. 
When  we  left  Brother  B — 's  house  I  was  not  satisfied,  but  was 
determined  not  to  let  the  devil  run'  me  out.  The  Lord  wanted 
me  to  go  since  the  January  before;  but  some  way  I  was  too  stupid 
to  see  it.  So  the  Lord  could  do  nothing  but  turn  the  devil  loose 
on  me,  in  order  to  make  me  obey;  and  as  the  old  fellow  likes  such 
jobs,  he  wanted  no  /better  fun  than  to  turn  his  whole  battery 
loose  on  me.  So  he  hunted  up  every  enemy  I  had,  and  everyone 
who  had  a  dislike  for  me.  Even  one  old  mother  in  Israel,  from 
the  Tabernacle,  informed  them  if  they  needed  her  she  would  give 
them  all  the  assistance  she  could.  They  found  in  some  way  I  had 
a  brother  in  Christ  who  had  no  use  for  me.  He  was, in  the  moun- 
tains at  the  time,  and  if  they  had  known  how  to  get  word  to  him 
they  would  have  had  him  at  the  trial ;  but  they  failed  to  find  him. 
But  I  do  not  want  to  get  ahead  of  my  story.  No  end  of  trouble  had 
come  from  the  letter  writing,  and  miy  going  to  that  man's  room, 
and  then  in  some  way  they  got  hold  of  a  cigarette  picture  of  a* 
woman  in  tights  and  said  it  was  my  picture.  This  work  was  «11 
going  on  before  Sister  H —  said  anything.  Think  what  the  devil 
did  to  dow,n  me !  I  do  not  believe  such  fiendish  work  is  on  record 
anywhere.  Everything  was  being  done  to  wreck  my  life  as  a 
Christian,  and  to  send  my  soul  to  hell ;  and  they  would  rob  me 
of  .my  character  completely,  and  of  my  home,  separate  me  from 
my  husband,  and  send  me  out  a  vagabond  and  wreck.  This  all  came 
upon  me  within  seven  weeks.  Was  it  not  enough  to  rob  anyone 
of  reason?  Without  a  doubt  it  would  have,  but  God  promises  us 
sound  minds.  It  wrecked  my  nerves  terribly,  my  nervous  system 
having  been  for  several  years  all  run  down  from  over-work.  The 
doctors  have  told  me  since  I  must  be  careful  or  I  would  have  a 
stroke  of  paralysis  from  some  shock  my  nerves  had  received.  God 
says  in  Prov.  27  14 :  "Wrath  is  cruel,  and  anger  is  outrageous ;  but 
who  is  able  to  stand  before  envy?"  It  was  envy  that  crucified 
our  Savior.  I  had  this  to  stand  against.  The  envy  was  caused  by 
the  way  the  Lord  blessed  me  in  the  wagon.  They  also  envied  me 
my  position ;  and  with  this  cruel  wrath  and  outrageous  anger  was 
the  green-eyed  monster  of  jealousy,  and  the  church  against  me. 
Do  you  not  think  the  old  boy  let  the  whole  battery  of  hell  loose 
upon  me?  This  was  all  going  on  before  they  tried  other  means; 
and  then  they  brought  it  into  the  church,  through  the  few  things 
Sister  -H—  had  said.  After  I  had  the  talk  with  Brother  P— , 
Brother  S —  walked  with  me  to  the  mission.  It  was  too  late  for 
me  to  go  home  and  get  back  in  time  for  the  street  meeting,  so  I 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  2OQ 

staid  at  the  mission  till  meeting  time.  On  our  way  Brother  S — 
spoke  of  the  testimonies  on  the  wagon.  God  surely  had  me  say  what 
I  did,  for  I  did  not  -know  at  the  time  the  work  was  going  on  to 
crush  me.  I  said  to  Brother  S — :  "I  helped  this  woman;  I  did 
what  I  could  that  this  brother  might  stand;  but  I  fear  it  is  a 
failure.  Still  the  Lord  says  our  labor  is  not  in  vain.  Brother  S — , 
I  had  fully  made  up  my  ,mind  that  God  did  not  want  me  to  do 
any  more  for  that  "man,  but  this  woman  wanted  me  to  help  her, 
and  I  did ;  but  I  had  no  faith,  and  God  knows  it  is  the  last  time 
I  shall  try,  for  the  Spirit  does  not  lead  me  to  do  any  more,  and 
hu>  not  for  over  a  year.  Brother  P —  thought  if  we  got  him  into 
the  Sunday-school  it  would  help  him,  and  Sister  Worthiam  wanted 
me  to  try  him.  though  she  know.s  I  wanted  him  to  go  as  soon  as 
I  got  the  $14 — and  then  this  woman,  Sister  H — ."  I  had  told 
Brother  S —  all  this  as  we  were  leaving  Brother  P — 's  that  after- 
noon, not  knowing  what  was  coming;  and  what  did  he  do  but  sit 
-in  judgment  against  me  with  a  jury  of  twelve,  I  think.  They 
had  a  judge,  and  this  man  sat  in  judgment  with  the  rest,  to  put 
me  out,  after  I  had  told  him  all.  Sister  Worthiam  knows  she  was 
the  cause  of  that  brother  staying  at  the  house  as  long  as  he  did. 
Brother  P —  knows  he  came  and  wanted  me  to  help  get  him  started 
again  ;  and  my  niece  knows  I  talked  to  Brother  S —  this  way  the 
afternoon  I  was  over  to  Brother  P — 's,  for  I  came  home  and  told 
her,  word  for  word,  before  I  knew  anything  about  the  trouble. 
This  woman  knows  it  was  her  own  fault  that  I  went  to  her  house 
to  help  her  with  the  man ;  and  my  niece  and  Sister  Worthiam  will 
tell  you  the  same;  for  they  were  at  my  house  at  the  time.  But 
the  church  would  not  listen  to  them.  More  than  one  thought  Sister 
Worthiam  was  not  right  in  her  mind,  and  they  would  not  depend 
on  her  testimony.  Another  who  was  for  me  was  not  allowed  a 
voice  because  he  was  hard  of  hearing,  and  they  wanted  people 
who  could  hear  so  they  would  not  fail  in  their  undertaking.  When 
they  said  they  had  followed  me  and  seen  me  go  to  his  room,  and 
when  they  asked  me  if  I  had,  I  told  them  "yes;"  for  they  asked 
me  the  question  before  I  knew  their  intention.  I  did  not  think 
anything  about  it,  and  I  said :  "Yes ;  I  have  a  good  many  times." 
I  did  not  tell  them  why  I  went,  for  they  did  not  ask  me ;  and  I 
knew  this  brother,  or  anyone  I  was  helping,  would  not  want  me 
going  about  telling  what  I  was  doing  for  them,  if  they  had  any  kind 
of  pride,  for  you  know  it  is  an  embarrassing  thing.  I  knew  if 
T  should  get  where  I  had  to  be  helped  I  would  not  like  to  have  it 
in  everybody's  mouth.  I  did  not  tell  anyone  how  Brother  P — 
came  and  wanted  me  to  help  him.  How  could  I  do  what  I  did 
without  going  to  his  room?  His  clothes  had  to  be  looked  after, 
for  I  had  not  done  anything  for  him  for  over  three  months.  How 


3OO  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

they  tried  to  make  harm  of  the  letters  I  had  written  to  him!  An 
attempt  was  .made  to  imitate  my  handwriting,  and  put  words 
to  the  letter  that  would  make  the  devil,  himself,  blush  to  read; 
things  that  I  never  uttered  even  when  a  wicked  sinner,  and  which 
God  knows  never  came  into  my  mind  since  nor  before  I  was  a 
Christian.  He  had  promised  me  in  his  letter  to  do  better  if  .1 
would  help  him  once  more.  I  said  to  my  niece  the  hour  we  came 
in  from  the  mountains  that  I  would  not  go  home  till  I  saw  if  he 
was  keeping  his  word.  So  my  niece  and  I  went  from  the  depot  to 
his  room,  and  found  he  had  not  kept  his  promise.  That  is 
why  I  did  not  want  to  do  anything  for  him  When  Brother  P — 
asked  me  to  help  him.  I  knew  if  he  heard  I  was  in  the  city  .he 
would  try  to  brace  up,  for  he  knew  I  was  determined  to  do  nothing 
more  if  he  did  not  do  as  he  had  promised.  My  niece  washed  her 
hands  and  face,  and  we  got  warm,  and  then  she  helped  me  tto 
the  corner  of  Seventeenth  and  Larimer  streets  w,ith  the  baggage. 
It  was  early  in  the  evening,  and  she  wanted  to  call  on  a  friend  of 
hers  before  coming  home.  Right  then  I  made  up  my  mind  never  to 
do  another  thing  for  him.  But  when  Brother  P —  asked  me 
to  try  again  I  did.  This  effort  meant  a  few  dollars  to  me,  but  he 
had  paid  me  ,all  but  the  $14,  so  I  managed  to  get  it  by  letting 
him  come  to  the  house.  Even  his  employer  saw  what  an  interest 
I  took  in  him,  and  bore  with  him,  thinking  my  influence  would 
help  him  <to  do  better.  They  told  me  they  would  not  have  put 
up  with  him  as  they  'did  but  for  me.  These  two  men  did  not 
belong  to  the  church,  but  |I  want  to  say,  to  the  credit  of  these 
two  pure-minded  gentlemen,  that  they  hold  a  place  of  reverence, 
and  respect,  and  love,  in  my  heart  for  the  confidence  they  put  in 
me  in  regard  to  the  relationship  that  existed  between  this  brother 
and  myself.  They  looked  upon  me  as  an  honest-hearted  missionary; 
not  like  some  of  the  church  members  said  of  me — not  as  good  as 
a  woman  on  Market  street — and  (that  I  was  using  religion  as  a 
cloak  for  maliciousness.  But  these  men  looked  upon  it  in  the 
right  way;  that  this  man  needed  the  influence  of  one  who  would 
help  him.  Jesus  was  among  the  fallen  and  the  sinners,  and  was 
found  alone  by  the  well  talking  to  a  fallen  woman — one  who  had 
no  character.  And  when  the  disciples  came  and  » found  him  they 
marveled.  I  wonder  if  their  minds  were  so  carnal  that  they 
thought  the  Lord  was  making  a  date  with  her.  This  would  be  no 
worse  than  what  was  thought  against  me,  for  Christ  said  if  anyone 
wronged  one  of  his  children  he  sinned  against  him.  So  you 
see  !it  means  the  same  thing;  and  I  do  know,  if  ever  there  was 
a  child  of  God,  I  was  one  at  the  time  they  began  their  efforts 
to  crush  me,  and  have  been  to  this  hour.  And,  by  the  grace 
of  God,  I  will  be  to  my  dying  hour. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  301 

"Look  at  the  church  member  to-day,"  they  said,  "like  the 
scribe  and  Pharisee  she  keeps  company  and  mingles  with  the 
drunkard  and  the  harlot."  The  dear  Lord  gave  his  presence  and 
influence  to  the  ones  the  church  turned  its  back  on.  And  they 
marveled  because  he  sat  and  talked  to  them.  He  saw  it  would 
do  them  more  good  to  be  in  his  company  than  in  that  of  their 
own  class.  When  he  was  found  there  they  would  have  churched 
him,  only  he  did  not  belong  to  their  church;  yet  they  made  him 
trouble.  I  never  was  taken  in  as  a  member,  neither  was  my  hus- 
band; but  they  kept  our  letters  and  then  turned  me  out  of  church. 
They  crucified  my  Master,  and  he  has  told  me  I  am  not  above 
him.  Begin  to  eat  and  drink  with  the  vile,  and  go  to  see  them  as 
Jesus  did,  and  if  you  are  not  talked  about  you  will  be  the  first 
one  I  ever  heard  of.  Go  and  see  them  when  they  send  for  you, 
and  when  they  meet  you  on  the  street  corners  they  love  to  talk  and 
walk  with  you.  And  if  you  have  helped  them,  and  been  kind  to 
them,  and  gotten  them  work,  and  looked  after  them  when  they 
were  out  of  money,  and  saw  that  they  did  not  go  hungry,  see  if 
they  do  not  seek  your  presence;  and  when  they  get  drunk  see 
if  they  don't  cry,  and  tell  everyone  how  good  and  kind  you  have 
been  to  them,  and  that  they  love  you  even  as  their  own  mother. 
You  who  have  never  done  this  kind  of  work  can  knowi  nothing 
about  it.  I  have  had  to  hide  myself  and  lock  the  doors,  and  tell 
both  men  and  women  they  must  not  bother  me.  The  women  have 
been  worse  than  the  men.  I  have  had  Christian  women  of  the 
church  get  so  jealous  of  one  another  because  they  wanted  my 
company  that  they  would  hardly  speak  to  one  another.  They  have 
told  others  how  they  loved  me.  But  if  a  poor  soul  came  along 
whom  I  had  not  done  half  as  much  for  as  I  had  for  some  woman 
who  did  jiot  need  it  half  as  bad,  because  the  poor  soul  was  a 
man,  I  was  stuck  on  him,  and  he  on  me,  because  he  loved 
me  and  I  loved  him!  Oh,  ye  scribes  and  Pharisees!  God  plainly 
tells  us  if  our  religion  does  not  exceed  the  religion  of  these  peo- 
ple we  can  in  no  wise  enter  the  kingdom  of  heaven.  These 
two  business  men  did  not  claim  sanctification ;  one  was  a  Catho- 
lic ;  but  they  did  prove  that  they  were  two  pure-minded  gentlemen, 
and  God  will  reward  them.  Their  place  of  business  was  at  that 
time  on  the  corner  of  Fifteenth  and  Blake  streets.  They  saw 
I  was  the  only  one  who  could  help  him.  Another  thing  that  took 
me  to  this  man's  room  a  good  many  times  was  that  he  did  a 
great  deal  of  writing  for  me,  and  made  all  my  reports.  I  did  some 
meditating,  ifor  seven  or  eight  years,  on  writing  a  history  of  my 
life,  and  the  most  interesting  parts  I  wrote  up  lest  I  should  forget 
some  experiences,  and  these  he  copied  for  me.  I  did  not  think  it 
was  necessary  to  go  around  and  explain  to  everyone  why  I  went 


3O2  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

to  his  room.  I  do  not  regret  the  labor  of  love,  though  I  have 
suffered,  for  I  am  rewarded  by  knowing  he  has  been  able,  ever 
since  I  first  took  interest  in  him,  not  to  be  a  tramp,  in  our  city 
jail.  He  was  well  educated,  a  college  graduate,  and  had  a  lovely, 
Christian  mother  in  New  York  City.  I  have  read  beautiful  letters 
from  her.  She  was  iso  glad  others  took  an  interest  in  her  boy, 
as  we  would  if  our  boys  were  out  battling  with  that  dreadful 
curse,  drink.  Though  I  have  only  met  him  two  or  three  times 
in  several  years,  he  has  always  had  work,  with  the  exception  of 
three  or  four  months.  No  one  can  help  seeing  my  labor  was  not 
in  vain.  I  expect  to  meet  that  man  in  heaven,  as  much  as  I  expect 
to  meet  mother  there.  It  is  well  enough  to  talk  about  the  suffering 
of  Jesus,  centuries  back,  when  he  was  here  on  earth ;  but  the 
question  is,  are  we  suffering  as  he  did?  Are  wie  accused  of  asso- 
ciating with  the  drunkard  and  morphine  fiend?  Are  we  abused  for 
feeding  the  hoboes,  and  having  "trash"  around  our  homes?  Are 
we  beaten  to-day  with  stripes,  and 'accused  of  many  things?  I 
am  forty-five  now,  and  have  had  much  experience;  and  I  find 
it  is  all  well  enough  to  go  for  the  poor  Pharisee  or  scribe  who 
has  been  dead  all  this  time  and  forgotten  only  when  we  want  to 
abuse  him  in  the  pulpit;  but  are  you  doing  something  as  bad  as 
the  Pharisee?  That  poor  old  Pharisee  who  persecuted  Jesus  is 
not  the  one,  to  abuse,  he  cannot  defend  himself ;  but  talk  to  the 
one  who  is  alive.  Jesus  talked  to  them,  face  to  face.  He  did 
not  talk  about  them  when  they  were  not  present,  nor  about  the 
dead  ones.  It  is  the  live  Pharisee  that  I  fear ;  the  one  who  uses 
his  tongue  and  influence  against  me;  the  one  who  imagines  evil 
in  the  mind  and  heart.  Our  hearts  are  touched  when  we  see 
people  hungry  or  sick,  but  too  many  have  the  Pharisee 
heart,  and  will  harm  you  in  a  way  that  is  much  worse  than  being 
out  in  the  cold  world  friendless,  and  even  a  cripple.  I  know  by 
experience  that  the  one  who  gives  a  tenth,  and  does  the  things  the 
Lord  told  him  not  to  leave  undone,  did  me  more  harm,  and  caused 
me  more  suffering  than  did  the  cold  world,  when  I  was  without 
a  penny,  and  alone  in  the  world.  Let  me  fall  into  poverty,  and  be 
a  cripple  all  my  life,  and  let  me  be  friendless,  but  I  do  pray  not 
to  fall  into  the  hands  of  the  church  and  expect  mercy,  though 
they  profess  to  love  a  life  of  sacrifice.  I  will  say  there  is  one  min- 
ister in  Denver  that  shows  mercy  more  than  anyone  I  know.  He 
has  been  as  kind  as  a  father  to  me.  But  he  shows  so  much  mercy 
to  the  fallen  that  some  of  his  own  church  abuse  him  for  it.  He 
is  (Brother  Uzzell.  But  I  was  going  to  tell  you  what  happened 
the  time  our  brother  tried  to  stop  these  habits.  I  have  already 
told  you  how  I  came  to  go  to  his  room,  the  time  Sister  H —  was 
doctoring  him,  because  she  went  to  the  camp  meeting;  and  now 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  303 

I  will  tell  you  how  the  cigarette  picture  came  about.  He  was  a 
lover  of  all  kinds  of  pictures.  I  do  not  know  that  there  was  a 
man  (or  woman  in  Denver  who  looked  like  any  of  the  cigarette 
pictures,  but  he  would  have  their  initials  printed  under  the  picture. 
And  when  I  took  his  clothes  to  the  room  (you  know  the  curiosity 
of  women)  two  or  three  of  us  looked  over  the  great  collection 
of  pictures  of  birds,  flowers,  and  all  kinds  of  paintings.  I  never 
saw  as  nice  an  assortment.  And  when  we  came  across  the  cigarette 
pictures,  though  they  are  as  common  as  anything,  my  attention  was 
drawn  to  them  because  of  the  different  names.  This  is  how  I  knew 
where  the  picture  came  from  when  they  accused  me  of  having  my 
picture  taken  in  tights.  It  represented  a  woman  neatly  dressed 
for  the  stage,  with  a  short  skirt  on.  I  was  told  by  Si%ter  —  and  Sis- 
ter Morrison,  that  Sister  H —  said  it  was  no  doubt  my  picture.  Other 
church  members  thought  the  same,  and  it  was  taken  for  granted  that 
I  was  guilty  of  this  act.  I  have  not  been  able,  to  this  day,  to  find  one 
who  could  tell  me  what  my  object  could  have  been.  I  am  willing 
to  answer  for  that  picture,  or  anything  I  have  done,  at  the  bar  of 
God  without  my  heart  condemning  me.  Well,  they  failed ;  then 
they  took  it  into  the  church  and  tried  to  crush  me  by  bringing  up 
what  took  place  in  the  sickroom  of  this  brother;  for  he  was 
sick  and  out  of  his  head.  That  can  be  easily  proved  to  this  day. 
It  was  not  twenty-four  hours  after  lie  stopped  these  habits  till 
he  was  out  of  his  mind,  and  in  a  high  fever.  My  niece  and  I 
stopped  on  our  way  from  the  street  meeting,  and  my  niece  stayed 
all  night  with  Sister  H — .  On  my  way  down  to  the  street  meet- 
ing, that  same  evening,  I  stopped  and  found  him  in  a  burning 
fever.  I  knew  there  was  nothing  so  good  as  a  sponge  bath,  so 
I  told  Sister  H —  I  had  time  enough  to  sponge  him  off,  and  for 
her  to  get  some  beef  tea  ready  while  I  gave  him  the  bath.  She 
said  she  had  no  beef  to  make  the  broth,  and  no  money,  so  I 
gave  her  some.  She  got  me  a  bowl  of  water,  a  sponge  and  a  towel, 
and  then  started  to  the  store,  which  was  not  a  block  away.  I  took 
off  his  outside  short  and  his  undershirt.  He  was  lying  on  the 
lounge.  He  was  not  the  first  one  I  had  given  a  sponge  bath. 
More  than  once  have  I  refreshed  and  helped  the  brother  I  visited 
for  a  year  at  the  hospital.  Not  even  the  Catholic  sisters  knew 
what  to  make  of  me,  but  God  did ;  and  as  I  had  helped  Sister 
Ketchum  with  her  husband,  I  thought  I  was  an  old  hand.  I  do  not 
think  there  are  many  nurses  more  skillful  in  handling  a  sick  person 
than  I.  I  gave  his  head  and  shoulders  and  face  a  good  sponging, 
rubbing  his  chest  and  arms.  I  rubbed  for  about  five  minutes  with 
a  bath  towel.  He  kept  insisting  there  was  the  face  of  some  person 
peeping  out  from  behind  the  picture  on  the  wall.  If  he  was  not 
out  of  his  mind  no  one  ever  was.  I  put  on  his  undershirt  and 


304  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

nightshirt,  and  pulled  them  down  over  him.  Then  I  pulled  off  his 
trousers  and  drawers,  and  gave  his  feet  and  limbs  a  good  bathing. 
I  took  the  slops,  and  the  vase  of  flowers  on  the  center-table,  into 
the  bathroom  and  changed  the  water  on  the  flowers;  and  when  I 
came  back  into  the  room  Sister  H —  came  up  the  steps.  I  did  this 
almost  as  quick  as  I  am  telling  it,  as  I  had  to  be  at  the  meeting 
at  7  o'clock.  As  she  came  into  the  room  I  said:  "He  cannot  help 
but  feel  better  now."  I  noticed  she  looked  at  him,  then  at  me, 
with  a  queer  expression  on  her  face,  but  I  did  not  once  dream 
she  was  thinking  anything  evil,  for  I  had  done  nothing  any  woman, 
or  a  nurse  at  a  hospital  or  in  a  home  would  not  have  done. 
I  knew  if  she  had  been  with  me  for  the  last  ten  years  in  all  kinds 
of  work,  neitjier  she  nor  anyone  else  could  think  wrong  of  what 
I  (had  done.  If  I  had  known  there  would  any  evil  come  of  it, 
I  would  have  explained  to  her  how  I  gave  him  the  sponge  bath ; 
but  the  way  it  got  out  among  our  refined  church  members  was 
very  different  from  the  way  I  did.  As  I  have  said,  someone  fol- 
lowed me  to  his  room.  They  thought  if  they  could  get  her  angry 
at  me  they  could  accomplish  their  object.  So  they  told  her  I 
was  talking  about  her,  and  as  she  is  quick  £o  get  angry  at  nothing, 
she  thought  she  would  get  even  with  me,  and  she  told  it  in  an  evil 
way,  to  evil  minds  that  tried  hard  to  get  me  off  the  gospel  wagon 
all  summer,  and  wanted  no  better  thing  to  accomplish  their  work. 
I  knew  two  or  three  were  angry  at  me,  and  would  have  done  any- 
thing because  I  would  not  let  them  talk  long  on  the  gospel  wagon. 
I  would  always  let  fchose  ;who  wfere  poor  talkers  talk  while  the 
crowd  was  gathering,  and  keep  those  who  could  speak  well  for  the 
last  part  of  the  meeting,  when  we  had  a  large  crow'd.  When  they 
saw  what  I  was  doing  they  refused  to  speak  at  the  beginning  of 
the  meeting.  Then  I  told  them  if  they  did  not  speak  then  they 
could  not  at  all.  Some  of  them  left  the  wagon,  but  were  soon 
back  again.  But  I  )stuck  to  my  word.  If  they  would  not  talk 
at  the  beginning,  and  started  to  speak  when  the  crowd  had  gathered, 
I  stopped  them.  Some  of  them  got  hold  of  these  things  and 
started  the  ball  to  rolling.  Like  a  rolling  snowball,  it  lost  nothing, 
and  by  the  -time  it  came  back  to  me  it  was  large  enough  to  crush 
me  to  powder.  But  God  ihad  me  in  the  hollow  of  his  hand,  and 
it  was  not  large  enough  to  hurt  my  soul,  and  it  did  my  bokily 
good,  because  it  was  nothing  but  a  test  God  intended  me  to  go 
through,  for  he  tells  us  in  his  word  he  will  have  a  tried  people. 
And  the  greatest  trial  is  to  try  us  on  the  things  we  are  most  sen- 
sitive to.  I  could  namle  hundreds  of  things  that  would  be  all 
some  people  could  bear,  and  I  could  laugh  at  them.  But  there 
were  things  I  was  sensitive  about.  One  might  not  think  so,  but 
I  would  much  rather  they  had  taken  my  life,  than  do  :as  they  did. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  305 

The  Lord  knew  there  was  no  other  way  that  he  could  reach  my 
sensitive   nature.      He  had    permitted   the   devil   to   tempt    me    on 
these   lines   on   a   small   scale,  and   I   had  grown   spiritual,   for   it 
had  done  me  good ;  and  when  the  Lord  saw  I  was  strong  enough 
to  bear  it,  he  wanted  to  kill  all   the  sensitiveness  in  my  nature 
so  I  would  not  be  afraid  to  do  or. say  what  the  Spirit  led  me  to, 
for    fear   of   hurting   someone's    feelings.      He   knew    if    he    could 
kill  that  feeling  in  me  regarding  what  people  would  say,  think,  or 
feel,  then  I  would  lay  all  on  the  altar,  and  the  work  of  sanctifica- 
tion  would  be  complete.     He  knew  and  I  knew  there  was  no  other 
way  but  through  suffering.     I  knew  when  I  was  crucified  to  the 
world  and  the  devil,  and  they  surely  did  a  complete  work  in  me. 
The  devil  was  after  me  for  several  years  before  he  was  satisfied 
he  could  not  get  me.     But  I  did  not  dream  of  Sister  H —  making 
harm  of  what  I  did.     So  many  said :    "Sister  Peterson,  you  should 
not  have  trusted  her."     I  did  not  trust  her.     God  knows  I  did  not 
do  any  more  than  I  Would  have  done  before  the  whole  world.    That 
is  what  almost  killed  me.     I  tell  you  I  was  years  getting  over  that 
one  dreadful  shock.     Oh,  how   those  things  do  eat,  as  a  canker. 
II    Tim.   2:16,    17:     "But   shun   profane   and   evil    babblings:    for 
they   will   increase  unto  more  ungodliness.     And  their  word  will 
eat  as  doth  a  canker."     I   did  try  so  hard   to  avoid  getting  into 
any  contention.     The  devil  could  not  get  me  to  backslide,  or  get 
the  ^world  to  look  at  me  as  a  fallen  woman,  which  they  tried  so 
hard  to  accomplish.     I  have  had  it   said  to  me:     "You  will  stop 
this  kin,d  of  work  or  I  will  ruin  your  character.     If  it  were  not  for 
your  child  I  would  put  an  end  to  this  in  some  way."     They  have 
gone  so  far  as  to  tell  me  there  would  be  something  like  a  hand 
take   hold   of   their    shoulders    and    say :      "Stop ;    you    have   gone 
far  enough."    And  they  were  helpless.     If  their  lives  had  depended 
upon  it,  they  could  have  gone  no  farther.    It  is  no  wonder  the  Lord 
took  me  into  a  trance,  and  let  me  see  these  words :     "If  the  earth 
should   shake  would   you   forsake?"     How  plainly  I   saw  the   an- 
swer :     "If  the  earth  should  shake  I'll  never  forsake."     And  I  want 
to  tell  you  it  has  trembled  under  my  feet  so  I  have  had  to  stand 
on  the  Rock  of  Ages,  or  like  a  house  with  a  poor  foundation,  I 
surely  would   have   fallen   in   that   great  and   terrible   wind.     God 
tells  Elijah  he  was  not  in  wind;  and  I  knew  too  well  if  he  had 
been  in  the  wind  I  would  soon  have  gone  down.     There  was  effort 
enough  put  forth,  if  God  had  been  in  it,  to  have  caused  me  to  fall 
into  the  deepest  pit  of  sin.   But  I  had  dug  no  pit  for  anyone,  and  God 
tells  us  if  we  dig  a  pit  for  one  we  shall  fall  into  it  ourselves.    There 
is  no  other  pit  for  a  Christian;   they  will  only  fall  into  one  they 
have  dug  for  themselves.     Prov.  26:27:    "Whoso  diggest  a  pit  shall 
fall  therein :  and  he  that  rolleth  a  stone,  it  will  return  upon  him." 


306  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

I  knew  I  had  not  harmed  anyone,  nor  said  ia  harmful  word  of 
that  woman.  The  very  pit  that  was  dug  for  me  they  fell  injo 
themselves.  None  of  them  have  their  homes.  They  are  all  sep- 
arated, and  most  of  them  divorced ;  and  as  far  as  I  know  have 
suffered  more  than  I  have.  I  would  not  change  places  with  one 
of  them,  either  in  a  spiritual,  financial  or  physical  sense.  Oh, 
how  true  God's  word  is.  When  God  is  for  us,  who  can  be  against 
us?  It  will  do  them  more  harm  than  good,  and  it  is  in  the  mouths 
of  hundreds  of  Christians.  The  mission  is  not  as  spiritual  as  it 
used  to  be,  and  no  one  can  help  but  acknowledge  the  wagon  has 
not  amounted  to  anything  since  they  so  mistreated  me.  More 
than  one  has  said,  "Without  a  doubt  God  laid  his  hand  upon  the 
wagon  with  a  curse;  and  the  best  thing  they  can  do  is  to  cut 
it  up  for  kindling,  or  make  a  bonfire  of  it."  I  was  not  off  the  wagon 
a  Week  when  the  Salvation  Army  was  inquiring  what  was  the 
matter  with  it.  They  said  their  audiences  were  twice  as  large 
as  they  were  before  I  left  the  gospel  wagon.  David  was 
afraid  to  touch  or  harm  Saul,  because  he  was  one  of  God's  anointed. 
But  not  one  of  those  who  persecuted  me  was  afraid  to 
put  his  hands  upon  God's  anointed.  They  did  me  all  the 
harm  they  could;  and  if  I  was  not  anointed  for  the  street 
work  there  never  has  been  one  anointed  for  the  work  of  the  Lord. 
They  had  more  courage  than  King  David,  who  had  courage  enough 
to  slay  the  giant,  but  not  enough  to  harm  Saul  when  he  came  upon 
him  in  the  cave  asleep ;  but  cut  off  a  piece  of  his  mantle  and 
took  it  with  him.  And  at  (the  same  time  Saul  was  hunting  David's 
life.  But  David  had  rather  die  than  touch  him.  There  is  not 
one  in  a  hundred  who  stops  to  think,  these  days,  what  they  are 
doing,  but  will  make  an,y  kind  of  a  remark  regardless  of  what 
harm  it  will  do.  The  devil  has  got  most  of  God's  children  blind 
to  this  fact.  Luke  17:1:  "Then  he  said  unto  the  disciples,  It  is 
impossible  but  that  offenses  will  come:  but  woe  unto  him, 
through  whom  they  come!"  The  Lord  says  it  is  impossible  to  stop 
them.  You  cannot  escape  these  experiences  if  you  mingle  with 
the  slums,  as  Christ  did;  but  woe  unto  them  that  offend  one  of 
God's  little  ones;  and  surely  they  were  not  so  blind  they  could 
not  see  I  was  one  of  Christ's.  Read  the  2d  verse:  '"It  were 
better  for  him  that  a  millstone  were  hanged  about  his  neck,  and 
he  cast  into  the  sea,  than  that  he  should  offend  one  of  these  little 
ones."  I  know  the  millstone  has  been  hanging  around  their  necks, 
and  they  have  been  in  the  bottom  of  the  sea  of  trouble.  I  have 
done  my  best  to  help  them  out,  and  get  the  millstone  from  around 
their  necks.  I  Cor.  8:12:  "But  when  ye  sin  so  against  the  brethren, 
and  wound  their  weak  conscience,  ye  sin  against  Christ."  I  knew 
I  was  doing  nothing  to  offend  anyone.  James  3 12 :  "For  in  many 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  »307 

things  ye  offend  #11.  If  any  man  offend  not  in  word,  the  same 
is  a  perfect  man,  and  able  also  to  bridle  the  whole  body."  I  had 
not  offended  in  word,  and  did  not  know  I  had  in  any  other  way. 
In  their  hearts  they  knew  nothing  against  me,  and  could  not  come  to 
me  and  say,  truthfully,  I  had  done  a  wrong  thing.  Do  you  not 
think  this  is  a  dreadful  blow  to  one  who  had  lived  in  Denver  twenty- 
six  years  at  that  time,  and  had  lived  a  decent,  respectable  life  before 
conversion,  to  come  into  an  experience  like  this,  when  I  had 
proved  myself  honest  and  straightforward  in  all  things?  Well, 
the  Lord  knew  how  to  kill  me  when  he  got  ready,  and  he  made 
a  complete  job  of  it.  I  did  not  do  as  EHsha  did  when  the  chil- 
dren came  out  to  mock  him — call  down  fire  from  heaven  till  they 
were  consumed ;  but  I  did  pray  for  the  little  children  that  were 
against  me  and  those  that  encouraged  such  work.  Prov.  26 127  • 
"And  he  that  rolleth  a  stone,  it  Will  return  upon  him."  This 
time  they  churched  the  one  who  was  not  rolling  the  stone,  and  not 
the  one  whom  they  tried  to  roll  the  stone  upon,  as  they  did  me. 
God  never  said  to  dig  a  pit,  even  if  they  were  guilty. 

I  said  I  would  tell  all  that  took  place  in  that  sick  room, 
regardless  of  whom  it  concerned.  I  must  tell  the  truth,  though 
there  is  not  one  who  has  not  made  mistakes  in  his  Christian  life. 
That  is  why  God  punishes  the  ones  who  try  to  down  others  or 
harm  them  in  any  way.  Oh,  what  harm  one  word  can  do!  No 
wonder  God  calls  the  tongue  deadly  poison.  I  had  left  this 
brother  much  better,  and  his  fever  not  nearly  so  high.  I  went 
on  to  the  street  meeting,  and  my  niece  and  I  stopped  on  our 
way  home.  He  was  so  delirious  Sister  H —  would  not  stay  alone 
with  him,  and  wanted  me  to  stop.  I  told  her  I  could  not  stay, 
but  my  niece  would,  and  if  necessary 'I  would  stay  the  next  night. 
They  told  me  he  was  trying  to  hide  from  all  kinds  of  animals 
and  people  he  thought  were  after  him.  All  Sister  H —  and  my 
niece  could  do  was  to  assure  him  they  would  not  let  anything 
harm  him.  He  would  cover  his  head  till  he  almost  smothered, 
and  yet  he  could  see  these  things.  They  could  not  help  crying  to 
see  the  way  he  suffered.  He  begged  them  not  to  leave  him  alone, 
and  they  promised  they  would  not.  Both  their  hearts  were 
moved  with  sympathy,  because  of  his  condition,  and  when  he 
begged  so  hard  they  promised  nothing  should  hurt  him,  and  both 
kissed  him ;  and  the  kiss  was  just  as  pure  as  Mary  gave  to  Jesus 
when  she  kissed  his  feet. 


308  THE      LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 


CHAPTER  XXL 

IF  there  is  such  a  crime  in  a  kiss,  why  did  Jesus  rebuke  his  dis- 
ciples when  they  attempted  to  stop  Mary  when  she  kissed  him? 

And  why  did  he  tell  them  that  they  had  not  kissed  him?  No 
doubt  they  would  have  liked  to,  but  perhaps,  like  many  other 
Christians,  were  afraid  harm  would  be  made  of  it.  But  if  they 
wanted  to  kiss  anyone,  would  do  it  on  the  sly,  like  a  dear  sister 
iri  Christ  whom  almost  everyone  would  know  if  I  gave  her  name. 
She  was  one  of  the  first  converts  in  the  Tabernacle,  and  is  a 
grand,  bright,  Christian  to-day.  It  was  when  Brother  Charles 
UzzelTs  health  failed,  and  he  was  going  to  Chicago.  .All  of 
the  members  were  bidding  nim  good-bye,  thinking  it  would  be 
the  last  time  they  would  ever  see  him.  He  preached  his  fare- 
well sermon,  and  was  so  overcome  'with  grief  that  he  broke  down 
and  wept  like  a  child.  There  was  not  a  dry  eye  in  the  house,  for 
everyone  loved  him,  and  he  loved  them  and  the  Tabernacle  work, 
which  was  the  cause  of  his  health  failing.  One  day  this  sister 
and  myself  were  going  to  bid  the  family  good-bye,  and  this  sister 
said:  "Sister  Peterson,  do  you  know  I  would  like  to  kiss  Brother 
Charlie  good-bye,  for  we  may  never  see  him  again."  Wiping  her 
eyes  with  her  handkerchief,  she  said :  "Sister  Peterson,  if  you 
will  kiss  him  first,  then  I  will;  but  some  way  I  am  afraid  to." 
As  I  never  was  one  bit  afraid  of  what  is  grand,  pure,  and  holy. 
I  said :  "I  will  kiss  him.  I  am  not  afraid.  There  is  nothing 
wrong,  and  why  should  we  fear?"  So  when  we  got  ready  to  go 
I  went  to  him  and  said:  "Brother  Charlie,  my  wish  is  that  God 
may  spare  you,  and  that  you  may  soon  return  to  us  again,  and 
do  a  greater  work  than  you  have  done."  I  took  his  hand,  and 
stooped  as  he  sat  in  an  armchair,  so  pale  and  weak,  and  kissed 
him,  thinking  perhaps  we  never  would  see  him  again.  This  sister 
(we  were  all  crying,  Charlie,  too)  also  bade  him  good-bye  with  a 
kiss.  It  made  me  think  of  when  they  were  bidding  Paul  good- 
bye, when  they  fell  on  his  neck,  and  wept,  and  begged  him  not 
to  go.  Why  is  it  people  will  take  one  of  the  purest  acts  and  make 
harm  of  it?  Paul  said  in  Rom.  16:15,  16:  "Salute  Philologus  and 
Julia,  Nereus  and  his  sister,  and  all  the  saints  which  are  with  them. 
Salute  one  another  with  an  holy  kiss." 

One  thing  I  know :  no  one  will  be  able  to  see  the  purity  there 
is  in  this  act  of  holy  love  till  they  themselves  are  pure,  and  that 
will  not  be  until  the  carnal  mind  is  laid  aside.  God  says  "to  them 
that  are  pure  all  things  are  pure."  The  next  evening  Sister  H — 
did  not  want  to  stay  alone,  so  I  staid.  She  said  she  was  so  tired 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  530Q 

she  would  lie  down  and  rest,  if  I  would  care  for  him.  She  lay 
on  a  'cot  that  sat  in  the  corner  opposite  the  door  of  his  room, 
where  she  could  look  straight  into  the  room  and  up  to  his  bed. 
Both  doors  were  open,  and  the  lights  burning  in  both  rooms  all 
night.  Along  toward  midnight  he  went  to  sleep  for  the  first  time 
for  two  days,  and  this  was  the  second  night.  So  I  got  up  from 
the  side  of  the  bed  where  I  was  sitting,  and  did  not  wake  him. 
I  unhooked  my  dress  skirt,  took  it  off,  got  a  pillow  from  the 
lounge,  went  down  to  the  foot  of  the  bed,  and  sat  down  with 
my  feet  on  the  floor,  and  laid  my  pillow  on  the  footboard  of 
the  bed.  It  was  a  low  one,  and  I  laid  my  head  on  the  pillow, 
with  Sister  H — 's  shawl  over  my  shoulders.  I  rested  there  the 
remainder  of  the  night,  not  even  taking  my  feet  off  the  floor.  My 
underskirt  was  of  black  sateen,  and  one  could  hardly  tell  it  from 
a  dress  skirt.  Still  so  many  make  harm  of  a  simple  thing  like 
that.  Ministers  of  the  gospel  have  called  upon  me  in  their 
broadcloth,  and  I  have  received  them  with  no  excuse  for 
my  old  dress.  Some  may  ask  why  I  took  off  my  dress  skirt. 
Anyone  knows  how  mussed  a  skirt  will  get  lounging  around 
like  that,  and  it  was  the  only  one  I  had.  So,  you  know, 
I  had  to  take  care  of  it,  and  I  would  do  the  same 
thing  again.  And  if  anyone  wants  to  cast  a  shadow  on  me,  or 
make  evil  of  my  doing  it,  they  may.  I  have  seen  my  dear  old 
mother  go  around  the  house  that  way,  and  if  she  is  not  a  saint 
there  isn't  one  in  the  world.  How.  people  can  make  evil  of  simple 
little  things  is  something  I  never  could  understand.  This  was 
all  that  happened  in  that  room,  except  when  we  would  not  let 
him  have  the  drug  he  would  talk  hateful  to  me.  But  I  did  not 
think  anything  of  that,  for  it  was  reasonable  enough  to  suppose 
he  might  say  or  do  anything  in  the  condition  he  was  in.  They 
told  her  I  had  said  things  about  her,  and  this  is  the  way  the  work 
was  begun  in  order  to  get  it  into  the  church.  Some  of  them 
tf<>t  a  horse  and  buggy  and  went  to  different  ones  to  write  down 
their  testimony.  Sister  H —  said  they  put  down  on  paper  what 
e  said,  and  she  told  me  she  said  things  she  would  not  have 
said  if  she  had  not  been  angry.  If  she  had  told  them  in  the  right 
way  it  would  have  been  all  right.  In  less  than  three  months  after 
the  trial  she  told  me  the  Lord  woke  her  up  at  i  o'clock  in  the 
night  and  told  her  to  come  to  me  and  tell  me  to  get  ready  to 
preach  the  gospel ;  so,  you  see,  I  could  not  have  been  such  a 
dreadful  sinner,  or  the  Lord  would  not  have  told  her  that  so 
soon  after  all  this  trouble.  She  knew  I  could  not  receive  what  -lu 
said  if  she  did  not  ask  my  forgiveness,  for  she  knew  too  well  that 
she  had  wronged  me.  and  that  harm  was  made  out  of  things  there 
was  no  harm  in.  She  came  and  asked  me  to  forgive  her  within 


310  .  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

ten  months.  She  always  insisted  she  never  said  once  I  was  not 
a  Christian,  and  that  is  the  reason  I  could  not  help  believing  the 
rest  of  my  enemies  put  more  to  her  words  than  she  said;  for  if 
she  said  all  they  said  she  did,  she  could  not  possibly  think  me  a 
child  of  God.  I  did  not  see  her  again  till  ten  months  after  the 
trial,  when  she  came  to  my  house.  It  was  late  in  the  afternoon, 
after  my  little  girl  had  come  home  from  school.  She  came  in 
and  made  some  unsatisfactory  excuse  for  coming.  I  told  her  it 
was  getting  late  and  I  must  get  supper;  but  that  there  was  some- 
thing ,wrong.  I  could  feel  the  influence  of  the  devil,  and  I  was 
not  at  all  pleased  with  her  coming.  Then  she  said :  "Sister 
Peterson,  we  have  not  time  to  talk  this  over  now.  Would  you 
mind  coming  down  tomorrow  afternoon  ?"  I  said :  "No,  Sister 
H — ;  if  you  want  me  to  come  I  will."  Two  days  later  Sister 
Shrader  came  up.  I  was  dressing  to  go  down  and  see  Sister  H — , 
so  Sister  Shrader  and  1  went  and  spent  the  afternoon.  But  I 
was  afraid  she  would  say  i  had  come  to  her  when  I  had  nothing 
to  come  for,  so  when  I  went  in  I  said  enough  so  she  could  not 
pretend  before  Sister  Shrader  that  I  had  come  without  being 
asked.  I  heard  afterward  that  she  told  Sister  P —  I  had  come  to 
her.  I  would  not  have  believed  it,  only  I  know  Brother  B —  told 
her  to  come  to  me  before  the  trial.  She  came,  but  did  not  say 
anything  about  what  she  had  come  for,  and  I  thought  if  I  could 
help  it  I  would  not  have  any  such  misunderstandings  again. 
Sister  H —  asked  us  to  stay  to .  supper,  and  then  we  all  went  to 
the  street  meeting  together,  for  Brother  Jones  and  I  had  already 
fixed  up  a  little  street  meeting  wagon  and  were  holding  meetings, 
as  we  did  all  the  next  summer.  I  knew  the  right  spirit  was  not 
present,  and  I  could  see  she  did  not  want  to  say  anything  before 
Sister  S — ;  so  she  asked  Sister  S —  if  she  would  please  get  some 
meat  for  supper.  Sister  S —  put  on  her  hat,  and  before  she 
reached  the  street  Sister  H — •  came  to  me,  threw  herself  into  my 
arms,  laid  her  head  upon  my  shoulder,  and  asked  me  to  forgive 
her.  So  many  have  blamed  me  for  having  anything  to  do  with 
her  after  I  had  forgiven  her.  How  could  I  do  otherwise,  when 
she  came  to  me  so  honestly?  Could  anyone  be  a  child  of  God  and 
not  do  as  I  did?  She  came  to  me  in  the  right  way,  and  asked 
everything  that  as  a  Christian  she  should.  "Sister  Peterson,  can 
you  forgive  me?"  she  said.  I  put  my  arm  around  her,  for  she 
was  crying  as  though  her  heart  would  break.  And  immediately 
it  seemed  as  though  God  himself  came  down,  and  with  his  al- 
mighty finger  opened  the  door  of  my  heart  and  let  a  river  of  love 
for  that  woman  fill  my  heart.  She  said:  "Will  you  forgive  me, 
and  be  to  me  as  you  were  before  the  trouble?  Be  as  though  noth- 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  <3II 

ing  had  ever  happened.  Forgive  and  forget."  And  I  kissed  the 
tears  from  her  face. 

It  was  easy  for  me  to  grant  every  request,  for  the  river  of 
love  was  running,  and  taking  all  the  driftwood  before  its  great, 
swelling  tide,  while  I  held  her  in  my  arms.  I  never  had  a  greater 
love  for  my  own  child  than  I  had  for  her,  and  by  the  grace  of 
God  I  have  kept  my  promise;  but  I  have  had  the  opportunity 
to  prove  it  to  her,  in  deed  and  in  truth.  I  have  been  friend, 
sister,  and  mother.  She  has  repeatedly  told  me  she  could  not  go 
to  her  own  mother  as  she  came  -to  me.  I  have  been  a  mother 
to  her  in  sickness  and  in  trouble.  I  have  stood  between  her  and 
the  cold  world,  and  between  her  and  my  husband.  He  has  said 
to  me:  "She  surely  has  some  hold  on  you,  or  you  would  not 
be  bothered  with  her  as  you  are."  It  was  the  same  thing,  over 
and  over.  If  it  was  a  woman  I  bore  with,  there  was  something 
wrong ;  if  a  man,  I  was  in  love  with  him.  It  came  to  be  a  common 
thing,  among  some  of  the  members  at  the  Haymarket  after  this 
trouble,  to  say  I  was  a  free-lover.  My  friends  stood  up  for  me 
till  they  found  out  I  had  taken  into  my  house  those  who  had 
been  my  worst  enemies.  Some  of  the  church  members  told  me 
the  people  were  talking  about  me  more  than  ever.  They  would 
not  have  said  anything  if  I  had  forgiven  my  enemies  and  had 
nothing  more  to  do  with  them.  One  sister  came  and  told  me  if  I 
did  not  stop  going  out  with  that  woman,  that  there  would  not 
be  one  who  would  have  any  confidence  in  me,  and  I  would  be 
without  a  friend  in  Denver.  I  told  her  to  say  for  me  that  I  was 
going  out,  just  as  I  had,  and  they  could  do  as  they  pleased;  that 
as  long  as  I  was  obeying  God,  if  the  whole  world  turned  against 
me,  it  would  not  change  me  at  all ;  and  to  tell  them  I  was  pleasing 
God  and  not  man.  "Oh,  Sister  Peterson,"  she  said,  "do  you  know 
it  will  utterly  ruin  you,  with  what  has  happened?"  "Then  it  will 
have  to  ruin,"  I  answered.  "They  already  say  the  reason  you  and 
she  get  along  so  well  is  that  you  are  two  of  a  kind,"  said  she. 
"My  sister,"  I  replied,  "they  did  not  think  that  a  few  months 
ago,  did  they?  Now,  when  she  has  repented  and  wants  to  do 
right,  they  are  all  against  me  because  I  want  to  do  my  part  as  a 
Christian.  Is  that  the  way  for  us  to  forgive  our  enemies?" 

If  it  is,  I  cannot  find  it  in  God's  word.  I  told  her  nothing 
would  influence  me  unless  God's  word  backed  it.  This  thing 
of  forgiving  a  person  and  not  being  willing  they  shall  come  to 
our  homes  is  nothing  but  the  work  of  the  devil.  Ex.  23 14 :  "If 
thou  meet  thine  enemy's  ox  going  astray,  thou  shalt  surely  bring 
it  back  to  him  again."  And  "if  thou  see  the  brute  of  him  that 
hateth  thee  lying  under  his  burden"  we  must  help  them.  If  God 
demands  us  to  help  our  enemy;  if  we  do  this  for  our  enemy's  ox, 


312  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

and  we  were  to  meet  the  enemy  himself  under  a  burden,  what 
are  we  to  do  but  help  him  ?  Luke  6 127 :  "But  I  say  unto  you 
which  hear,  Love  your  enemies,  do  good  to  them  which  hate 
you."  35th  verse:  "Love  ye  your  enemies,  *  *  for  he  is 
kind  unto  the  unthankful  and  to  the  evil."  The  next  verse  says : 
"Be  ye  therefore  merciful,  as  your  Father  also  is  merciful." 
Would  it  be  merciful  or  loving  for  me  to  do  the  very  thing  God 
told  me  not  to  do?  God  sees  to  putting  them  in  the  pit,  and 
that  gives  us  the  task  of  taking  them  out.  Psalms  7:15,  16: 
"He  made  a  pit,  and  digged  it,  and  is  fallen  into  the  ditch  which 
he  made.  His  mischief  shall  return  upon  his  own  head,  and  his 
violent  dealing  shall  come  down  upon  his  own  pate."  Now,  a 
person  like  that  should  be  helped ;  and  one  must  have  a  hard  heart 
to  refuse.  Rom.  12 120 :  "Therefore  if  thine  enemy  hunger,  feed 
him;  if  he  thirst,  give  him  drink."  "Oh,  well,"  one  might  say, 
"I  could  do  that,  if  my  enemy  was  hungry;  but  he  must  mind 
his  own  business,  for  I  will  not  have  anything  to  do  with  him." 
But'  what  will  you  do  if  he  comes  along  with  a  burden  and  wants 
you  to  help  him?  He  requires  your  time,  and  sympathy,  and 
advice,  and  labor.  Did  I  not  show  kindness  to  my  enemies,  when 
I  did  not  try  to  crush  them?  This  enemy  had  asked  me  to  for- 
give ;  then  afterwards  said  she  did  not  come  to  the  house  to  ask 
forgiveness,  but  did  ask  me  to  come  to  her  house,  that  we  might 
have  an  understanding.  They  warned  me,  saying  the  same  harm 
would  be  done  again,  if  I  had  anything  to  do  with  her.  Well, 
if  she  should  do  me  evil,  how  does  God  tell  us  to  get  the  best 
of  that  evil?  Rom.  12:21:  "But  overcome  evil  with  good.*'  If 
I  wanted  to  overcome  her  in  the  right  way  I  must  be  as  goo<1 
to  her  as  I  knew  how.  Do  not  doubt  that  I  knew  what  I  was 
doing.  Some  thought  I  did  not,  and  called  me  simple,  and  soft; 
but  in  order  to  live  according  to  Luke  6:29,  I  had  to  give  my 
enemies  another  chance.  They  had  smitten  me  on  the  one  cheek, 
and  to  offer  the  other  I  had  to  be  the  same  to  them  as  I  had  been 
before.  I  had  to  help  this  one  with  the  burdens  that  came  to 
her,  and  do  even  more  than  ever  before.  I  was  more  to  her  than 
half  the  mothers  are  to  their  daughters.  I  have  had  many  say 
hateful  things  to  me,  because  I  allowed  this  one,  who  had 
done  me  isuch  wrong,  to  come  to  me  the  same  as  if  I  were  her 
own  mother.  I  had  wrongs  done  me  that  will  leave  scars  of 
crucifixion,  which  I  will  remember  even  on  the  other  side  of  the 
grave.  Some  said  she  should  have  made  a  public  confession.  The 
word  of  God  does  not  say  so.  The  word  tells  us  to  confess  our 
faults,  one  to  another;  and  this  I  know  she  did.  Job's  enemies 
did  not.  They  came  to  Job  and  asked  him  to  pray  for  them. 
And  those  who  started  this  trouble  did,  and  I  knew  unless  I  was 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  313 

the  same  as  before  I  was  not  right.  Those  who  did  publicly  say 
they  had  been  to  me  and  asked  my  forgiveness,  were  told  by  some 
of  the  leading  members  of  the  church  that  they  had  better  not 
stick  their  heads  into  the  lion's  mouth.  And  if  Sister  H —  had 
done  the  same,  they  would  have  said  the  same  to  her.  So,  1 
thought  it  best  for  her  to  say  nothing  about  it.  Think  of  the 
leading  ones  telling  Sister  T —  she  had  stuck  her  head  into  the 
lion's  mouth!  I  had  been  called  nearly  everything  else,  but  this 
was  the  first  time  I  was  ever  called  a  lion.  The  Lord  calls  the 
devil  a  roaring  lion,  going  about  seeking  whom  he  may  devour : 
but  I  always  thought  I  had  any  other  disposition  than  a  lion's. 
The  only  conclusion  they  could  come  to  regarding  Sister  H — 
and  I  was  that  we  were  two  of  a  kind,  and  that  was  the  reason 
we  got  along  well,  when  I  was  doing  nothing  for  her  except  what 
I  should  do  for  any  man  or  woman.  Anyone  who  knows  the 
scriptures  at  all  must  admit  if  they  do  not  do  as  I  did  they  are 
not  walking  in  the  light.  God  tells  us  to  walk  in  the  light  lest 
darkness  overtake  us.  That  means  to  do  as  he  tells  us  in  II  Cor. 
2:5-8:  "But  if  any  have  caused  grief,  sufficient  to  such  a  man  is  this 
punishment.  *  *  *  So  that  contrariwise  we  ought  rather  to 
forgive  him,  and  comfort  him,  lest  perhaps  such  a  one  should  be 
swallowed  up  with  overmuch  sorrow.  Wherefore  I  beseech  you 
that  ye.  would  confirm  your  love  toward  him."  Is  not  this  plain 
enough  for  a  child  to  understand?  We  are  not  only  to  forgive 
our  enemies  who  cause  us  grief,  but  to  comfort  them,  and  prove 
our  love  to  thern^  just  as  I  did  to  Sister  H — .  She  will  tell  you 
as  she  told  me,  that  she  does  not  know  what  she  would  have  done 
but  for  my  comfort.  Have  you  not  lived  long  enough  to  know 
you  cannot  buy  love,  or  the  comfort  there  is  in  having  one  true 
friend?  Only  God  knows  what  would  have  become  of  her  if  I 
had  not  done  as  God  said.  I  did  not  say  that  I  loved  my  enemies, 
and  then  have  nothing  more  to  do  with  them.  Oh,  no ;  I  proved 
it  to  them,  not  by  saying  I  loved  them,  but  by  doing.  I  did  not  say 
I  had  no  time,  or  was  sick,  or  did  not  have  means,  or  make  the 
excuse  that  my  husband  would  not  let  me.  It  was  not  natural 
for  me  to  do  as  .1  did  for  them,  and  you  may  think  as  the  church 
did,  that  I  loved  therm;  but  the  church  could  not  think  I  would 
run  away  with  them,  for,  fortunately,  they  were  women.  But  who- 
ever I  was  with,  they  were  homeless  and  friendless,  or  going 
through  some  deep  trouble  and  needed  my  presence  to  help  them. 
Then  all  that  would  be  said  was  that  I  was  like  them.  Well. 
I  have  not  yet  been  caught  in  the  commission  of  any  sin,  so  they 
could  not  come  out  boldly  and  say,  "This  woman  was  caught  in  tin- 
very  act."  as  the  church  said  of  the  woman  in  Jesus'  time.  And 
they  could  not  condemn  my  conversation.  The  only  way  they 


314  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

could  make  anything  of  it  was  to  call  it  free  love.  There  always 
is  one  in  a  company  of  people,  whether  it  be  few  or  many,  whom 
we  can  call  a  Judas;  but  these  Judases  did  not  betray  me  because 
of  the  want  of  money.  But  the  old  mother  in  Israel  in  the  Tab- 
ernacle was  jealous,  and  had  nothing  good  to  say.  of  me;  and 
three  in  the  Haymarket  told  me  themselves  they  were  envious 
and  jealous,  and  that  caused  them  to  say  what  they  did.  Can 
you  not  see  how  far  short  the  churches  come  of  living  up  to  the 
standard  of  love  in  Christ?  They  knew  God  blessed  me,  and  that 
I  was  gifted  to-  do  the  work  that  I  did.  Those  who  were  not 
gifted  to  do  this  work,  failed  to  do  as  Paul  told  them  in  Rom. 
16:1,  2:  "I  commend  unto  you  Phebe  our  sister,  which  is  a 
servant  of  the  church  which  is  at  Cenchrea:  that  ye  receive 
her  in  the  Lord,  as  becometh  saints,  and  that  ye  assist  her  in 
whatsoever  business  she  hath  need  of  you;  for  she  hath  been  a 
succourer  of  many,  and  of  myself  also."  I  needed  their  'help, 
so  I  would  not  have  to  walk  my  feet  off,  and  go  without  the 
necessaries  of  life,  in  order  -to  do  the  work  I  did.  It  pleased  the 
church  to  get  my  report,  and  the  unions  I  belonged  to,  but  they 
did  not  stop  to  think,  #s  St.  Paul  was  not  here  to  remind  them, 
of  their  duty  to  Phebe  Peterson.  The  sisters  always  said  to  me: 
"There  are  not  many  called  to  do  the  work  you  do,"  but  there 
is  hot  jpne  but  is  called  to  help  Sister  Phebe,  as  Paul  told  them 
to  do  in  some  way,  if  only  with  a  quarter  to  pay  car  fare.  And 
then  they  tell  me  they  are  not  able,  financially,  when  my  attention 
is  drawn  to  the  style  the  sisters  put  on.  They  have  money  enough 
to  buy  feathers,  and  flowers,  and  ribbons,  but  my  needs  were  not 
necessaries,  and  these  flowers  were.  I  am  not  finding  fault,  but 
I  do  pray  the  church  will  'see  its  duty  in  helping  those  who  are 
called  of  God;  and  I  know  God  commands  this,  the  reason  I 
write  it.  I  could  not  have  worked  as  I  have,  from  four  in  the 
morning  till  ten  at  night,  if  I  had  not  had  an  iron  constitution. 
I  would  have  had  to  give  up  long  before  I  did.  And  when  I  did 
stop  my  reward  came  through  the  long-tongued  ones  in  the  church 
saying  the  reason  my  health  failed  was  that  I  had  frustrated  nature. 
They  could  figure  out  this  -evil,  but  had  not  sight  enough  to  see 
that  I  was  doing  three  women's  work;  that  I  had  a  home  to  look 
after,  and  was  a  wife  and  mother  the  same  as  others  who  had 
no  time  to  do  anything.  Of  course,  it  would  have  to  be  some- 
thing bad  that  broke  my  health  down.  Their  consciences  were 
not  alive  as  David's  was.  I  Sam.  24:5,  6,  110-17,  *9>  "I*  came  to 
pass  afterward  that  David's  heart  smote  him  because  he  had  cut 
off  Saul's  skirt.  And  he  said  unto  his  men,  The  Lord  forbid 
that  I  should  do  this  thing  unto  my  master,  the  Lord's  anointed, 
to  stretch  forth  mine  hand  against  him,  seeing  he  is  the  anointed 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  315 

of  the  Lord."  *  *  *  "Behold,  this  day  mine  eyes  have  seen 
how  that  the  Lord  had  delivered  thee  into  mine  hands  in  the  cave; 
and  some  bade  me  kill  thee;  but  mine  eye  spared  thee;  and  I  said, 
I  will  not  put  forth  mine  hand  against  my  lord :  for  he  is  the 
Lord's  anointed."  *  *  *  "I  have  not  sinned  against  thee;  yet 
thou  huntest  my  soul  to  take  it."  *  *  *  "The  Lord  judge 
between  me  and  thee,  and  the  Lord  avenge  me  of  thee:  but  mine 
hand  shall  not  be  upon  thee."  *  *  *  "And  he  said  to  David, 
Thou  art  more  righteous  than  I :  for  thou  hast  rewarded  m£  good, 
whereas  I  have  rewarded  thee  evil."  *  *  *  "For  if  a  man  find 
his  enemy,  will  he  let  him  go  well  away?  wherefore  the  Lord 
reward  the  good,  for  that  thou  hast  done  unto  me  this  day."  And 
they  dared  to  set  in  judgment  against  me,  when  God  knows  I 
could  say  what  David  said  to  Saul  in  the  nth  verse,  that  I 
had  not  sinned  against  one  of  those  who  hunted  my  soul.  I  did 
as  David  did.  I  returned  them  good  for  evil. 

How  anyone  can  read  this  book,  then  read  the  scriptures,  and 
then  desire  revenge  upon  his  enemies,  or  have  nothing 
to  do  with  them,  or  speak  evil  of  anyone  whether  guilty  or 
not,  I  cannot  see.  How  can  such  expect  to  get  into  heaven?  May 
God  for  Jesus'  sake  let  the  Holy  Ghost  open  the  eyes  of  the  people 
to  the  gospel  truth  written  herein,  that  they  may  come  to  realize 
this  one  fact:  .  Those  who  use  their  tongues  sinfully  are  not 
sanctified.  The  church  has  not  the  power  and  fire  of  the  Holy 
Ghost  because  of  these  little,  hateful  feelings  they  have,  one 
toward  another;  and  ibecause  it  is  little,  they  cannot  see  it  is  a 
sin.  They  will  not  hearken  to  God's  word.  It  is  a  greater  evil 
to  have  one  in  the  church  with  this  sin,  than  to  have  the  drunkard 
or  the  Jharlot;  for  it  is  these  little  foxes  that  kill  the  vines.  I 
have  rebuked  as  many  sanctified  ones  for  this  sin  as  I  have  justified 
ones;  and  they  would  say:  "That  is  all  right,  tell  me  of  my 
faults."  Think  of  calling  this  dreadful  sin  a  fault !  May  the 
Holy  Ghost  show  you  that  this  is  a  dreadful  sin,  and  may  you 
stop  your  tongues,  and  close  your  mouths  against  it  forever,  if 
you  have  to  kneel  until  your  knees  are  calloused  as  Martin  Luther's 
were.  It  is  better  to  go  into  heaven  with  calloused  knees,  showing 
yourself  a  martyr  by  overcoming  your  own  tongue,  than  to  go 
into  hell  with  a  calloused  tongue  from  talking  about  things  that 
are  none  of  your  business.  If  you  see  anyone  who  is  working  for 
the  Lord  do  anything  you  think  is  wrong,  speak  to  him  about  it; 
but  do  not  tell  it  to  your  best  friend.  If  you  do  you  sin ;  God 
plainly  tells  you  so.  You  cannot  know  but  in  some  way  the  dear 
friend  might  let  a  word  drop,  thoughtlessly,  and  a  great  fire  be 
kindled.  When  you  hear  one  talking  about  another,  be  wise  and 
know  how  and  where  to  locate  the  devil.  Do  not  let  the  devil 


316  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

blind  you  till  you  think  the  one  who  is  doing  the  talking  is  not 
the  one  who  has  the  devil ;  but  remember  there  is  more  than  one 
devil.  The  Lord  said  to  Peter,  when  he  talked  too  much,  "Get  thee 
behind  me,  Satan."  You  do  not  know,  Peter,  what  you  are  talking 
about;  and  neither  does  anyone  who  talks  about  another.  He 
forgets  he  is  only  sending  his  own  soul  to  hell.  You  cannot  help 
receiving  this  as  the  truth.  It  is  God's  word  I  have  written,  and 
not  mine ;  and  if  you  church  the  one  who  is  being  talked  about, 
and  not  the  one  who  is  doing  the  talking,  you  are  not  living  the 
word  of  God.  Be  sure  to  locate  the  devil  in  the  right  one,  if  you 
must  locate  him.  But  that  is  not  for  you  to  do;  but  it  is  your 
duty  to  rebuke  the  one  who  does  the  talking,  and  when  you  hear 
of  one  of  God's  children  and  workers  being  talked  about,  stop  it. 
You  will  find  the  workers  are  talked  about  more  than  those  who 
do  nothing,  and  the  do-nothings  are  the  ones  who  do  the  most 
talking.  I  often  wonder  how  God  likes  that  kind  of  Christians 
at  all.  They  forget  they  are  as  filthy,  dirty  rags  before  God,  and 
need  his  mercy  more  than  the  one  they  are  finding  fault  with ; 
and  they  need  the  mercy  of  the  church  "as  much  as  the  poorest 
Christian  that  ever  professed  religion.  Let  us  all  be  as  easily 
condemned  as  David  was  when  he  cut  off  that  little  piece  of  Saul's 
cloak.  If  we  are  half  way  right  we  will  be  condemned  when  we 
have  a  wrong  feeling  against  one  of  God's  children.  Unless  we 
are  careful  it  will  not  be  long  till  our  consciences  will  be  seared 
as  with  a  hot  iron,  and  we  will  have  no  condemnation  regarding 
these  little  things  as  David  did;  for  the  Spirit  will  cease  to  strive 
with  ,us  concerning  these  things  if  we  wilfully  go  on,  knowing 
better.  Let  us,  with  the  Lord's  help,  no  longer  live  as  Paul  says 
in  II  Tim.  3:7:  "Ever  learning,  and  never  able  to  come  to  the 
knowledge  of  the  truth."  I  do  plead  with  you  to  heed  II  Tim.  2  7 : 
"Consider  what  I  say;  and  the  Lord  give  thee  understanding  in 
all  things."  He  tells  us  to  consider,  not  what  we  think  or  feel, 
but  his  word,  that  we  may  be  able  to  come  to  the  whole  knowledge 
of  his  word.  How*  can  we  do  this  if  we  do  not  consider  our  own 
lives  and  our  own  ways,  and  then  try,  in  God's  name,  to  measure 
up  to  his  word?  He  asks  no  impossibility  of  us.  If  you  find  fault 
with  what  I  had  told  you  of  my  Christian  life,  then  you,  too,  lack 
the  light  of  God's  word,  and  are  blind  through  the  lack  of  the 
love  ,of  God  as  he  sets  it  forth  in  a  spiritual  sense.  We  must 
live  spiritually,  but  when  we  do  we  are  sure  not  to  please  men. 
It  was  not  long  after  Brother  P —  came  back  from  the  east 
that  I  went  to  his  house.  When  my  enemies  found  they  had 
failed  in  getting  me  off  the  wagon,  they  all  went  up  to  the  Holiness 
camp  meeting,  at  Fort  Collins,  and  did  some  talking.  But  Paul 
says  it  is  a  small  matter,  to  be  judged  of  men.  Let  us  leave  the 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  .'317 

punishment  in  God's  hands.  It  lies  in  no  one's  power  to  make 
another  suffer  as  God  can  make  us  suffer;  for  he  knows  how  to 
reach  the  heart  as  no  human  power  can  do.  It  is  strange  we  cannot 
see  it.  Surely  you  can  after  reading  this  book.  God  will  make 
them  that  harm  his  children  suffer,  for  he  says  you  touch  the  apple 
of  his  eye.  Does  he  not  say,  "Touch  not  mine  anointed,  and  do 
my  prophets  no  harm?"  (Psalms  105:15.)  "They  envied  Moses, 
also  in  the  camp,  arid  Aaron  the  saint  of  the  Lord"  (Psalms  106:16). 
The  Lord  said :  "Who  can  stand  before  envy?"  Moses  had  to, 
and  if  we  live  right  we,  too,  will  suffer  envy.  God  plainly  tells 
us,  in  Zech.  7:10,  "Let  none  of  you  imagine  evil  against  his  brother 
in  your  heart/'  Zech.  8:17:  "And  let  none  of  you  imagine  evil 
in  your  heart  against  his  neighbour."  They  not  only  imagined  evil, 
hut  told  their  imaginations  as  the  truth,  and  the  leaders  of  the 
church  listened  to  them,  and  believed  them,  and  cast  me  out.  But, 
thank  God,  I  could  act  according  to  Prov.  25:21,  22:  "If  thine 
enemy  be  hungry,  give  him  bread  to  eat;  and  the  Lord  shall  reward 
thee."  That  is  his  promise,  and  he  will  not  break  it ;  and  that 
is  what  we  must  do  if  we  receive  a  reward — hunt  up  our  enemies 
and  do  them  good.  When  Sister  T —  and  Sister  H —  came  back 
from  the  camp  meeting  they  got  in  the  wagon  with  us  that  same 
evening  and  went  to  the  street  meeting.  The  next  day  Sister  H — 
came  to  my  house  and  told  me  of  the  vision  of  snakes  she  saw 
up  at  the  camp  meeting.  She  said  she  could  still  see  the  vision, 
but  did  not  know  what  it  meant.  She  was  not  long  in  finding 
out.  Sister  T —  surely  represented  some  of  them,  and  started  out 
to  finish  the  work  she  had  failed  in  before  the  camp  meeting. 
She  called  herself  God's  battle  ax,  which  is  spoken  of  in  Jeremiah, 
but  being  blind,  spiritually,  she  turned  her  battle  ax  on  one  of 
God's  children.  Before  this  trouble  came  up,  this  one  who  was 
^o  determined  to  harm  me  went  to  leading  members  of  the  church 
and  told  them  my  niece  would  rather  see  a  rattlesnake  come  into 
the  street  wagon  than  herself.  But  that  was  not  all.  They  said  my 
niece  was  seen  coming  out  of  a  house  on  Market  street;  and  to 
add  to  our  trouble,  they  said  my  niece  was  the  cause  of  one  of 
the  young  brethren  almost  backsliding,  because  she  laid  her  hand 
on  his  shoulder  when  she  was  talking  to  him.  Oh,  these  evil- 
minded  Christians !  I  have  spoken  of  this  to  shojv  the  carnal  minds 
of  believers.  It  was  not  enough  for  them  to  show  their  envy 
towards  me,  but  they  were  envious  of  her,  and  went  so  far  as  to 
question  her  word  during  the  time  of  the  trouble.  In  a  few  days 
the  stories  began  to  ,come  to  me.  At  first  I  paid  no  attention : 
then  one  Sunday  morning,  after  I  went  to  class  meeting,  something 
was  told  to  me,  but  the  parties  who  told  me  would  not  say  who 
had  started  it.  I  do  not  remember  now  what  they  told  me,  but 


318  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

a  passage  of  scripture  came  to  me,  and  when  I  testified  I  quoted 
Matt.  7:3-5.  If  you  do  not  know  what  a  bible  hypocrite  is,  notice 
these  three  verses.  There  are  as  many  hypocrites  these  days  as 
there  w^ere  in  Christ's  time.  Now,  do  not  think  I  am  writing  this 
book  because  I  have  been  talked  about,  for  I  am  not.  From  the 
greatest  to  the  least  in  every  church  they  have  more  or  less  said 
about  them*  though  it  is  a  more  serious  thing  to  talk  about  one 
of  the  workers  than  about  an  ordinary  member.  You  never  hear 
one  of  the  Christians  of  the  Catholic  church  talk  about  their  priests 
or  the  Sisters — the  workers  in  their  church.  They  consider  them 
the  anointed  of  God.  Some  of  the  members  drink,  swear,  and 
beat  their  wives,  but  they  do  not  talk  about  one  of  God's  anointed 
workers.  Matt.  7:3:  "And  why  beholdest  thou  the  mote  that  is 
in  thy  brother's  eye,  but  considerest  not  the  beam  that  is  in  thine 
own  eye?"  If  they  had  only  stopped  to  consider  they  never  would 
have  done  as  they  did,  for  they  told  me  so.  They  saw  the  wrong 
after  they  had  done  it.  Read  II  Tim.  2:7.  The  Lord  would  give 
them  understanding  in  all  things,  and  show  them  how  to  get  the 
mote  out  of  the  other  Christian's  life. 

You  can  always  tell  a  hypocrite,  for  everything  he  knows  he  tells, 
and  more,  too.  A  hypocrite  is  always  seeing  a  mote  in  someone's 
life,  and  trying  to  set  someone  right,  and  talking  about  them  if 
they  are  not  right.  One  who  considers,  God  gives  understanding 
to  help  others  do  right;  and  they  do  not  tell  everyone  they  meet 
what  they  are  doing,  or  what  the  mote  in  the  life  of  the  one  they 
are  trying  to  help  is.  To  have  understanding,  we  must  consider, 
as  the  Lord  says  in  Matt.  7:5:  "Thou  hypocrite,  first  cast  out 
the  beam  out  of  thine  'own  eye;  and  then  shalt  thou  see  clearly 
to  cast  out  the  mote  out  of  thy  brother's  eye."  We  must  get  our- 
selves right  first;  and  let  us  do  it  in  a  different  way  than  they  did 
when  they  saw  the  mote  in  my  eye.  They  went  about  it  like 
hypocrites,  and  then  when  I  quoted  this  fifth  verse  I  did  not  know 
Sister  H —  had  said  one  word  about  me.  But  Sister  W —  went 
that  day  and  told  Sister  H —  I  called  her  a  hypocrite,  but  I  did 
not.  She  got  angry  and  said  things  she  was  sorry  for  afterwards. 
After  the  morning  services  were  over  'Brother  B — •  came  to  me 
and  wanted  me  to  stop  speaking  to  Brother  J — ,  or  having  anything 
to  do  with  him.  .1  told  Brother  B —  that  I  was  not  going  to  do 
anything  more  for  him.  Everyone  knows  I  said  I  never  would 
help  him  again.  I  said :  "Brother  S —  knows  I  told  'him  so,  the 
day  we  were  over  to  your  house;  and  I  told  him  I  would  leave 
the  wagon,  and  he  could  get  someone  else  to  take  my  place  that 
Sunday  evening."  I  said  I  had  given  him  up  for  good,  the  time 
he  came  and  wanted  mei  to  help  him  and  put  him  'in  the  Sunday 
school.  Sister  Worthiam  knows  my  determination  was  never  to 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  3IQ 

do  any  more.  Sister  H —  was  the  whole  cause  of  me  helping 
her  with  (him,  for  I  had  done  my  part  long  before.  One  of  the 
landladies  where  he  roomed,  Mrs.  Lemon t,  came  that  morning  to 
the  trial  to  say  that  she,  too,  was  the  fault  of  my  holding  to  him. 
She  said:  "Sister  Peterson,  ido  not  give  him  up;  if  you  do  he 
will  go  down  until  he  will  be  unfit  to  hold  his  "position."  She 
knew  what  I  had  done,  for  he  had  been  rooming  there  over  a  year. 
"Sister  Peterson,"  she  said,  "I  know  what  you  are  better  than  they 
do;  for  I  have  seen  /with  my  own  eyes,  and  I  know  you  are  all 
right."  But  they  paid  no  attention  to  her  the  morning  of  the 
trial.  She  was  one  of  the  five  who  asked  me  not  to  let  him  go, 
and  is  still  here  in  the  city.  I  do  not  regret  one  moment's  labor 
for  the  hundreds  of  downtrodden  men  and  women  'I  have  been 
able  to  help.  I  Cor.  15:58:  "Therefore,  my  beloved  brethren,  be 
ye  steadfast,  unmovable,  always  abounding  in  the  work  of  the 
Lord,  forasmuch  as  ye  know  that  your  labour  is  not  in  vain  in 
the  Lord."  In  the  Sunday  morning  class  meeting  I  said :  "Oh, 
ye  hypocrites;  take  the  beam  first  out  of  your  own  eye."  And 
they  said  I  got  mad  and  called  all  the  Haymarket  people  hypocrites. 
After  the  class  meeting  Brother  B —  said  he  wished  to  talk  to 
me  about  this  matter,  and  we  sat  down  and  had  another  under- 
standing; but  I  did  not  know  the  plans  of  my  enemies  to  complete 
their  work,  and  when  Brother  B —  asked  me  to  have  nothing  to 
do  with  him  I  did  not  know  what  he  meant.  I  had  nothing  against 
the  brother,  and  no  good  Christian  can  have  hard  feelings  against 
anyone,  and  when  Brother  P —  asked  me  not  to  speak  to  him  I 
replied:  "No;  I  will  not  promise  that,  for  I  never  saw  the  man 
or  woman  I  would  not  speak  to — not  even  the  devil  himself  if  I 
met  him."  I  told  Brother  P —  to  get  someone  to  lead  the  wagon, 
as  I  would  not,  saying  I  did  not  intend  to  do  any  more  for  that 
man.  Then  he  said:  "We  will  let  it  all  go.  You  go  on  with 
the  wagon."  I  did  not  know  what  he  meant,  or  I  should  never 
have  gone  on  the  wagon  again.  I  led  the  meeting  on  the  street 
that  evening,  which  was  the  i8th  of  September,  and  the  Monday, 
Tuesday  and  Wednesday  following.  A  large  envelope  was  handed 
me  as  I  was  coming  down  the  steps  of  the  wagon  in  front  of  the 
Haymarket  Mission.  I  could  not  imagine  what  the  great,  large 
letter  meant.  It  looked  like  it  might  contain  a  deed  to  a  beautiful 
palace,  or  other  valuable  property.  As  luck  would  have  it,  I  was 
not  going  into  the  Mission  that  evening.  Sister  Worthiam  and  I 
had  made  up  our  minds  after  the  street  meeting  to  go  over  to 
the  St.  James  church,  as  there  was  an  evangelist  holding  meetings 
there.  Had  I  not  gone  there  I  suppose  I  should  have  opened  my 
letter  at  the  church.  It  being  such  a  large  one,  and  typewritten, 
it  would  have  drawn  the  attention  of  a  good  many,  and  as  all 


320  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

knew  more  of  my  business  than  I  did,  they  would  have  known 
before  I  could  understand.  I  was  told  afterward  by  Sister  H — 
that  Brother  W — -,  herself  and  several  others  were  sitting  around 
the  dinner  table  talking  the  matter  over,  and  how  they  asked  her 
certain  questions,  when  Brother  W — -  got  up  from  the  table  and 
said  to  his  wife:  "Give  me  $5."  If  I  understand  it  rightly,  he 
was  paying  $5  a  month.  Anyway,  he  took  the  $5  and  handed 
it  to  Brother  P — ,  saying,  "That  woman  must  be  put  out,"  or 
words  to  that  effect.  I  was  told  that  Brother  P —  wrote  the  letter 
and  Brother  W —  handed  it  to  Brother  Record,  the  secretary,  and 
as  he  handed  me  the  letter  this  Brother  W —  stood  in  the  alley 
in  the  shade  of  the  building  and  saw  Brother  R —  hand  me 
the  letter.  On  our  way  to  the  St.  James  I  opened  it,  and  as 
Sister  Worthiam  and  I  walked  arm  in  arm  we  read : 

"Mrs.  Peterson : — You  must  stay  off  the  wagon,  stop  leading 
meetings,  and  confess  your  guilt,  or  I  will  lay  the  case  before 
Mr.  Peterson." 

It  has  been  a  long  time  since  I  read  the  letter,  but  this  is  as 
near  as  I  can  remember  it.  I  intended  to  keep  it  and  many  others 
for  my  book,  but  they  were  stolen  from  me  and  destroyed.  I  let 
Brother  Uzzell  read  several  of  the  letters,  including  the  ones  I 
received  from  Brother  P — .  Then  I  went  to  asking  this  one  and 
that  one,  and  found  out  what  was  going  on.  I  made  up  my  mind 
to  make  someone  suffer  for  what  they  had  said,  for  there  was  no 
foundation  lor  their  stories.  I  knew  their  threats  could  not  be 
put  into  execution,  for  the  one  who  had  sworn  to  down  me  had 
done  the  same  thing  I  had  'done,  and  I  had  witnesses  to  easily 
prove  it.  I  knew  I  could  clear  myself  as  easily  as  to  take  a  drink 
of  water,  so  that  did  not  bother  me  a  'bit.  I  made  up  my  mind 
if  those  connected  with  the  church  trial  did  not  do  the  right  thing 
I  would  not  stop  short  of  taking  the  matter  into  the  courts.  I 
would  employ  a  good  lawyer,  and  after  I  had  beaten  them  legally. 
I  would  scorch  them  for  scandal.  I  could  have  made  it  hot  for 
them,  for  it  is  a  difficult  thing  to  prove,  one  a  bad  character,  espe- 
cially when  there  were  eight  or  ten  who  had  been  in  my  home 
all  summer  who  were  ready  to  testify  to  my  respectability.  They 
are  all  alive  to-day,  and  will  tell  you  the  same.  I  knew  what  I 
could  do,  and  the  letter  did  not  bother  me  one  bit.  I  slept  well 
all  that  night,  and  felt  good  over  the  chance  of  getting  hold  of 
the  long-tongued  Christians.  The  one  who  started  the  stone  rolling 
was  sanctified.  Oh,  what  a  power  a  sanctified  one  is  in  the  hands 
of  the  devil !  If  I  had  gone  ahead  they  would  all  have  been 
helpless,  unless  they  swore  to  lies  and  perjured  themselves,  as 
some  of  them  did,  and  it  cannot  be  denied.  That  was  all  that  could 
have  saved  'them  from  going  behind  the  bars.  Perhaps  it  would 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  321 

have  done  them  good.  They  would  have  had  time  to  read  their 
bibles,  and  would  have  known  by  the  time  they  got  out  that  God 
said  to  speak  evil  of  no  man,  guilty  or  not.  Many  Christian  teachers 
and  leaders  know  so  little  of  what  is  written  in  that  grand  old 
book.  I  was  all  swelled  up.  I  thought,  now  I  would  show  them 
a  thing  or  two;  and  my  Johnny  Bull  blood  began  to  boil,  with  a 
little  French  as  a  stimulus,  till  my  very  fingers  itched  to  get  hold 
of  them.  I  told  my  niece  that  I  would  like  to  wipe  up  the  earth 
with  them,  and  then  go  down  to  the  City  Hall  and  pay  my  fine; 
then  I  would  feel  a  little  as  if  I  had  some  satisfaction.  Afterward 
I  would  send  them  as  far  as  I  could  over  the  road.  As  these 
feelings  and  'thoughts  came  to  me  I  wondered,  for  I  had  had  no 
such  feelings  for  eight  years — not  since  the  work  of  sanctification 
started  in  my  life.  And  these  feelings  did  not  come  till  after  I 
had  decided  to  make  them  suffer  for  what  they  had  said.  When 
I  began  to  prepare  for  the  trial  I  could  think  of  more  mean  things 
to  say  and  do  than  a  Philadelphia  lawyer.  Before  the  evening  of 
the  following  day  my  heart  was  as  hard  as  a  stone.  Oh,  how 
hateful  I  felt  toward  everyone  I  thought  helped  along  the  talk, 
and  I  was  even  bitter  toward  those  I  thought  believed  it.  Oh,  it 
was  a  bitter  feeling,  so  bitter  I  could  hardly  wait  for  the  trial.  I 
was  determined  to  give  them  as  good  as  they  had  sent,  and  I 
never  saw  the  day  anyone  could  get  the  best  of  me  in  anything, 
for  I  had  long  learned  to  battle  with  this  wicked  world  and  hold 
my  own  even  when  a  little  crippled  girl  fourteen  years  old,  when 
married  men  tried  to  get  the  best  of  me  and  put  young  men  up  to 
lay  snares  for  me.  All  this  was  going  through  my  mind.  I,  a 
child  of  God,  accused  of  such  things!  Well,  I  was  able  to  take 
care  of  myself,  and  in  a  position  where  evil  men  with  wicked 
intentions  wanted  nothing  to  do  with  me.  That  kind  of  men  go 
after  young  girls  and  young  women  wlio  have  just  started  out  in 
life.  None  ever  bothered  me  in  my  Christian  work.  Even  animals 
know  when  you  love  them,  and  so  do  men.  I  care  not  how  brutish 
or  wicked  a  man  has  become,  the  presence  of  a  pure,  true,  honest- 
hearted,  spiritual  man  or  woman  will  bring  him  to  his  better  self, 
and  cause  him  to  think  of  the  teachings  of  his  dear  old  mother. 
He  feels  the  difference  without  a  word,  just  as  an  animal  has  the 
instinct  to  know  whether  you  have  a  spirit  of  love  or  of  anger. 
I  have  had  more  honesty  shown  me  among  those  whom  the  church 
calls  "hoboes"  than  I  ever  did  among  Christian  men  and  women. 
They  can  feel  the  true  sympathy  one  has  for  them,  and  they  receive 
it  from  me  just  as  they  would  from  their  own  dear  sister  or 
mother.  I  care  not  how  drunken  or  low  they  are,  I  have  never 
had  to  be  on  my  guard  against  this  class.  No  wonder  the  Lord 
said  they  would  go  in  before  the  high  classes.  I  had  these  bitter 


322  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

feelings  in  my  heart  as  Sister  Worthiam  and  I  were  on  our  way 
to  Brother  P — ;s  to  see  him  about  the  time  of  the  trial.  He  was 
not  inclined  to  talk,  but  said  he  would  notify  me  when  he  was 
ready.  In  a  few  days  I  got  the  notice,  wthich  said  I  could  not 
interview  him  except  in  the  presence  of  his  wife.  I  did  not  know 
I  had  become  so  dangerously  wicked  till  I  read  this  letter  informing 
me  of  the  fact.  I  let  Brother  Gayhart  and  Brother  Uzzell  read 
the  letter.  We  told  him  we  would  be  ready  at  any  time,  bade  him 
the  time  of  day,  and  went  our  way.  I  could  feel  my  heart  getting 
harder,  and  the  devil  came  to  me  with  such  determined  thoughts 
I  felt  I  could  fight  ten  thousand  devils,  if  need  be.  This  scripture 
came  to  me  (James  3:14):  "But  if  ye  have  bitter  envying  and 
strife  in  thy  jheart,  glory  not."  I  knew  I  did  not  envy  anyone, 
but  I  knew  the  bitterness  and  strife  were  there.  I  never  had  seen 
the  time  that  the  Lord  did  not  bless  me,  so  it  was  an  easy  thing 
for  me  to  glory.  I  said :  "Lord,  if  I  do  praise  your  name  with 
this  feeling,  then  I  am  a  liar,  and  am  lying  against  the  truth."  Then 
condemnation  came  upon  my  heart,  like  John  Bunyan's  burden, 
and  I  said  to  Sister  Worthiam :  "I  never,  in  all  these  eight  years, 
felt  such  a  mean,  hateful  feeling,  and  I  do  not  know  what  has 
caused  this  bitterness  to  get  into  my  heart  as  it  has."  I  knew  it 
began  to  grow  when  I  made  up  my  mind  not  to  suffer  what  I 
had  heard.  Sister  Worthiam  said :  "Let  us  pray  about  it,  and  see 
how  we  will  feel  in  the  morning."  She  went  upstairs  to  bed,  for 
she  was  staying  at  my  house.  I  knew  already,  by  this  scripture, 
the  Lord  did  not  want  me  to  do  one  thing.  The  next  morning 
Sister  Worthiam  said:  "Sister  Peterson,  the  Spirit  has  shown  me, 
ever  since  you  told  me  how  you  felt,  that  you  should  not  have 
anything  to  do  with  that  trial."  And  we  let  it  go.  As  I  read 
James  3:i5>ri6,  17:  "This  wisdom  descendeth  not  from  above,  but 
is  earthly,  sensual,  devilish.  For  where  envying  and  strife  is, 
there  is  confusion  and  every  evil  work.  But  the  wisdom  that  is 
from  above  is  first  pure,  then  peaceable."  I  had  already  been  told 
I  was  envied,  and  I  knew  there  was  strife,  and  every  evil  thing 
that  could  "be  said.  I  made  up  my  mind  to  let  the  whole  thing  go, 
and  the  sweetest  feeling  filled  my  heart,  and  I  knew  it  was  the  peace 
promised  in  the  i;th  verse.  I  said:  "Lord,  I  was  not  very  gentle 
in  my  feelings."  And  then  I  wondered  if  I  would  have  been  in 
my  words  or  actions  if  I  had  kept  on.  The  same  verse  says  the  wis- 
dom from  above  is  easy  to  be  entreated,  full  of  mercy.  Again  I 
said :  "Dear  Lord,  with  the  feelings  I  had  yesterday  I  would  have 
shown  anything  but  mercy."  How  could  I  do  other  than  let  the 
whole  ^  thing,  go  after  the  Holy  Spirit  showed  me  the  word  of  God 
so  plainly?  What  would  have  become  of  me  if  I  had  gone  against 
such  light?  I  said;  "Lor<J,  I  will  not  ta.ke  part  in  that  trouble,  no 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  323 

matter  what  they  do.  Can  it  be  possible  there  is  one  Christian 
among  all  of  those  who  have  taken  up  this  thing  against  me?"  I 
knew  I  did  not  have  the  right  feeling  the  day  before,  and  again 
this  truth  came  to  me  quick  and  powerful ;  and  I  knew  by  this 
the  Holy  Spirit  was  teaching  me,  but  little  did  I  know  all  the 
meaning  of  the  truth  as  the  Spirit  brought  it  to  me.  Matt.  18:10: 
"Take  heed  that  ye  despise  not  one  of  these  little  ones;  (ntli 
verse)  For  the  Son  of  Man  is  come  to  save  that  which  is  lost." 
The  Lord  called  us  little  children.  I  asked  the  Lord  to  forgive 
me  for  the  spiteful  feeling  I  had  against  his  little  ones.  I  had 
become  hasty  before  I  stopped  to  think  of  God's  own  word.  Then 
this  passage  came  to  me,  Phil.  2 13 :  "Let  nothing  be  done  through 
strife."  When  I  started  to  get  ready  for  the  trial  I  did  not  intend 
to  let  strife  get  into  my  heart,  but  it  crept  in  in  spite  of  all  I  could 
do,  and  if  my  life  had  depended  upon  it  I  could  not  have  helped 
those  bitter  feelings.  "Let  each  esteem  others  better  than  them- 
selves.". I  could  not  do  that  and  go  on  as  I  was  the  day  before. 
They  were  thinking  they  were  better  than  I,  or  they  would  not 
have  done  as  they  did.  Phil.  2:4,  5:  "Look  not  every  man  on  his 
own  things,  but  every  man  also  on  the  things  of  others.  Let  this 
mind  be  in  you,  which  was  also  in  Christ  Jesus."  I  knew  if  I 
kept  the  feeling  of  gentleness  I  must  keep  all  vengeful  thoughts 
out  of  my  mind,  and*  it  seemed  I  could  see  no  other  scripture  but 
on  this  very  line.  II  Tim.  2:24:  "And  the  servant  of  the  Lord 
must  not  strive,  but  be  gentle  unto  all  men,  apt  to  teach,  patient." 
I  had  shown  any  other  spirit  than  that  of  gentleness  and  patience ; 
and  again  I  promised  the  Lord  that  I  would  not.  I  Pet.  3:9: 
"Not  rendering  evil  for  evil,  or  railing  for  railing:  but  contrariwise, 
blessing;  knowing  that  ye  are  thereunto  called,  that  ye  should  inherit 
a  blessing."  "Then,  Lord,"  I  said,  "if  I  want  you  to  bless  me  I 
must  bless  those  who  are  trying  to  injure  me."  Eph.  4:31:  "Let 
all  bitterness,  and  wrath,  and  anger,  and  clamor,  and  evil-speaking, 
be  put  away  from  you,  with  all  malice."  I  said :  "Lord,  you  know 
I  put  all  that  away  eight  years  ago,  and  why  should  I  take  up  that 
evil  again?"  This  was  the  first  really  hard  temptation  I  had  had. 
in  all  those  eight  years,  to  fall  back  into  the  old  rut  the  Lord  had 
taken  me  out  of.  The  Lord  would  not  have  let  it  come,  only  he 
knew  I  was  strong  enough  to  bear  it,  and  I  knew  he  would  not  let 
me  be  tempted  above  what  I  was  able  to  bear.  This  passage  of 
scripture  settled  it  with  me,  Gal.  5:15:  "But  if  ye  bite  and  devour 
one  another,  take  heed  that  ye  be  not  consumed  one  of  another/' 
Well,  I  thought,  then  I  will  be  consumed  in  some  way,  because 
God's  word  says  so.  God  knows,  after  I  saw  as  I  did,  I  meant  what 
I  said,  or  thought  I  did;  but  the  trouble  with  us  is  we  change  our 
minds  too  easy,  even  after  the  Holy  Spirit  shows  us  the  true  light. 


324  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

It  means  something  to  walk  in  the  light.  It  takes  prayer,  and 
faith,  and  obedience,  and  we  cannot  do  this  in  our  own  strength. 
We  must  go  to  God  for  grace,  or  after  all  we  will  fail.  No  wonder 
Paul  said:  "Take  heed  when  ye  think  ye  stand  that  ye  do  not 
fall."  But  I  did  not  know  what  that  meant  as  well  as  I  do  now, 
for  it  was  only  a  few  days  till  I  heard  some  awful  stuff,  and  when 
it  was  told  to  me  it  did  seem  that  in  spite  of  all  the  scripture  the 
Holy  Spirit  had  shown  me  I  must  act.  There  was  no  use  talking, 
I  could  not,  and  would  not,  stand  such  things.  Some  of  the  mem- 
bers said  I  would  not  be  doing  my  duty  if  I  did  not  act.  But  still 
I  must  believe  God's  word  and  do  what  he  says,  from  the  humblest 
act;  if  not  the  washing  of  feet,  it  must  be  something  as  humble. 
Though  I  have  not  wtashed  the  saints'  feet,  I  have  washed  their 
clothes,  after  some  mother's  boy  was  converted,  and  taken  out  of 
the  depths  of  sin,  and  his  feet  placed  on  the  Rock  of  Ages.  And  I 
as  I  have  lived  God's  word  in  that  humble  act,  I  have  tried  to  live 
it  in  the  highest  of  his  commands,  -where  I  could  kiss  the  hands 
that  drove  the  nail,  and  made  the  cross  with  their  tongues,  and 
the  ones  that  clinched  the  nails  after  they  were  driven,  and  sent 
me  out  as  a  vagabond  or  the  offscouring  of  the  world.  Paul  says, 
"Yes,  and  truly  pray  for  them,"  as  the  Lord  did  on  the  cross,  when 
he  said:  "Father,  forgive  them,  for  they  know  not  what  they  do." 
How  true!  They  did  not  know.  Little  did  they  think  in  that 
very  act  (they  were  helping  to  bring  about  salvation  to  this  sin- 
cursed  world.  They  intended  to  stop  it,  and  they  only  helped  to 
bring  it  to  pass.  They  intended  to  stop  me,  but  they  gave  me  the 
key  to  spiritual  success.  When  I  -heard  they  said  I  was  hugging 
men  and  they  saw  it,  then  I  said  to  myself:  "Any  reasonable  person 
will  not  believe  such  a  lie  as  that.  They  surely  would  give  me 
credit  for  having  more  sense  than  to  be  so  bold  before  the  public, 
if  I  intended  to  use  righteousness  as  a  cloak  for  maliciousness."  If 
I  had  any  evil  intentions  would  I  be  bolder  than  a  harlot  among 
her  own  class?  A  'fool  would  know  better.  When  I  was  told 
this,  after  I  had  fully  made  up  my  mind  not  to  do  anything  with 
the  trial,  the  devil  came  with  great  influence  for  me  not  to  suffer 
such  things.  This  passage  of-  scripture  continued  to  come  to  me, 
but  I  could  not  grasp  it  by  faith.  It  seemed  as  if  when  I  heard 
the  last  report  it  weakened  me,  and  still  I  could  not  drive  away 
these  words,  I  Pet.  2:19,  20:  "For  this  is  thankworthy,  if  a  man 
for  conscience  toward  God  endure  grief,  suffering  wrongfully." 
When  I  stopped  to  think  it  seemed  my  conscience  would  not  let 
me  go  on,  and  yet  it  seemed  more  than  I  could  bear.  Again  the 
scripture  would  come:  "I  will  not  allow  you  to  be  tempted  above 
what  ye  are  able  to  bear."  And  then  the  devil  came  and  tried  to 
make  me  regret  that  I  knew  the  word  of  God  so  well.  I  said :  "No, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  325 

never;  you  get  behind  me,  Satan.  I  do  not  regret  that  I  know  , 
the  word  of  God  as  I  do."  Then  the  old  fellow  left  me  till  the 
Holy  Spirit  could  bring  to  my  mind  the  2Oth  verse:  "For  what 
glory  is  it  if,  when  ye  be  buffeted  for  your  faults,  ye  shall  take  it 
patiently?  but  if,  when  ye  do  well,  and  suffer  for  it,  ye  take  it 
patiently,  this  is  acceptable  with  God."  I  stopped  the  Holy  Spirit 
in  the  middle  of  that  verse  and  said :  "Lord,  I  am  willing  to  take 
what  is  true,  and  what  is  true  I  have  not  denied."  But  the  Holy 
Spirit  would  not  leave  me  till  he  finished  the  verse — "but  if,  when 
ye  do  well,  and  suffer  for  it,  ye  take  it  patiently,  this  is  acceptable 
with  God."  I  said:  "Lord,  you  know  I  have  suffered  for  the  laM 
ten  years,  at  home  and  in  the  church,  from  all  those  long-tongued 
Christians,  and  you  know  in  my  heart  I  have  taken  it  patiently, 
and  rejoiced  in  it,  and  gone  ahead  and  served  you,  but,  Lord,  I  do 
want  to  teach  those  busybodies  something."  (I  Tim.  3:11.)  I  knew 
well  I  was  not  suffering  for  anything  God  tells  us  of  in  Pet.  4:15: 
"But  let  none  of  you  suffer  as  a  murderer,  or  as  a  thief,  or  as  an 
evildoer."  The  nearest  I  had  come  to  being  a  murderer  since  I 
became  a  Christian  was  hating  these  brothers  and  sisters  who  talked 
about  me,  and  those  who  believed  the  story,  and  those  who  repeated 
things  tlu-y  heard.  I  was  in  that  condition  I  didn't  know  which 
I  hated  the  worst.  When  I  came  to  the  word  evildoer  I  said : 
"Lord,  I  can,  by  the  grace  of  God,  say  as  Paul  said  in  Rom.  8:1  : 
'There  is  therefore  now  no  condemnation  to  them  which  are  in 
Christ  Jesus.' "  The  words  still  came  to  my  mind :  "Or  as  a  busy- 
body in  other  men's  matters."  That  I  did  not  do  when  I  was  a 
sinner,  and  I  knew  I  was  not  suffering  for  that  sin.  And  I  did  so 
want  to  make  those  busybodies  who  meddled  with  my  matters  suffer 
one-half  what  they  had  made  me  suffer.  It  seemed  I  could  not 
stand  the  terrible  feeling,  and  make  up  my  mind  not  to  go  to  the 
trial  or  to  law.  Every  time  I  would  say,  "Oh,  Lord,  what  shall  I 
do?"  I  Pet.  4:16  would  come  to  me:  "Yet  if  any  man  suffer 
a  Christian,  let  him  not  be  ashamed."  I  said :  "Lord,  it  isn't  that : 
I  am  frot  ashamed.  Everything  J.  did  was  for  thy  glory,  and  not 
unto  man."  And  the  Lord  knew  I  had  lived  his  word.  Everything 
I  did  was  with  an  eye  single  to  his  glory.  Then  the  last  eight  wor<l> 
of  the  verse  came  to  me  and  I  knew  I  could  do  nothing,  even  after 
they  had  said  all  they  had.  But  the  words  told  me  what  I  should 
do:  "But  let  him  glorify  God  on  his  behalf."  I  did  not  have 

much  glory  in  me  about  that  time.  If  the  Lord  had  told  me 
to  glory  in  anything  else  perhaps  I  might  have  done  it,  or  if  In- 
had  told  me  to  give  them  as  good  as  they  sent,  then  I  could  have 

<  d.     Not  "Do  unto  others  as  you  would  have  them  do  unto 
I  tfid  not  like  the  way  they  did  to  me,  and  I  could  not 

>om  my  heart,  "Lord,  I  will  do  to  them  as  I  would  have  them 


326  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

do  to  me."  I  could  not  glorify  God  in  my  feelings  till  I  was  willing 
to  do  as  God  had  told  me  to  do.  And  what  I  should  do  was  so 
plain,  by  the  Holy  Spirit's  influencing  me  so  with  the  truth,  that 
I  could  not  go  ahead  without  going  wilfully  against  the  light.  But 
one  evening  Jennie  told  me  a  lot  of  stuff  that  had  been  told  her, 
so  I  said :  "Jennie,  let's  go  and  see  Brother  P —  and  see  what  he 
will  say,  and  see  if  he  cannot  see  the  wrong  there  is  in  this  con- 
tending." So  we  went  over  to  his  house,  and  said :  "Brother 
P — -,  is  this  not  wrong?"  He  said  he  had  nothing  to  say;  that  it 
would  be  made  right  at  the  trial ;  that  he  had  teen  so  busy  he  had 
not  gotten  everything  ready  yet.  As  he  said  this  he  arose,  as  much 
as  to  say:  "I  Jwill  not  talk  with  you."  Then  the  letter  came  to 
my  mind — that  he  was  not  to  talk  to  me  without  the  presence  of 
his  wife;  so  Jennie  and  I  took  ,the  hint,  and  said:  "All  right," 
and  I  left  Brother  P — ,  saying:  "I  do  not  believe  this  thing  is 
right."  I  did  not  tell  him  I  had  made  up  my  mind  not  to  have 
anything  to  do  with  the  trial.  When  I  left  him  the  devil  came  at 
me  with  a  double  determination,  and  my  niece  begged  me  to  go 
on  with  the  trial.  With  all  the  scripture  that  had  been  coming  to 
me  -for  several  days  no  one  will  ever  know,  till  we  stand  at  the 
bar  of  God,  the  condition  of  my  mind  and  heart.  I  said :  "Jennie, 
I  will ;  we  will  go  tomorrow  and  get  our  witnesses,  and  not  let 
Sister  Worthiam  know  anything  about  it,"  for  I  had  told  her  the 
day  before  if  I  went  on  with  the  trial  the  devil  would  get  me. 
So,  the  next  day  I  took  the  letters  I  had  got  from  Brother  P — , 
with  others,  and  went  to  Brother  Uzzell.  He  said :  "Burn  the 
letters  and  pay  no  attention  to  them.  And  I  will  tell  you  what  I 
would  do  if  I  were  in  your  place.  I'd  feel  like  taking  a  base  ball 
club  and  pounding  the  stuffing  out  of  everyone  of  them  that  had 
anything  to  do  with  it."  I  said :  "That  would  not  be  right."  He 
said:  "I'd  have  to  ask  God  to  forgive  me  afterward,  for  I  could 
not  stand  that."  Then  I  asked  him  if  he  would  come  to  the  trial, 
and  he  said :  "You  know,  Sister  Peterson,  if  I  go  Brother  P—  and 
others  will  think  I  went  to  spite  them,  and  you  know  it  would 
not  be  for  that.  It  would  be  to  see  that  you  got  justice,  but  you 
know  we  could  not  make  the  people  believe  that."  I  could  see 
everyone  was  living  in  fear  of  what  the  people  would  say  and  think 
regardless  of  their  duty  to  one  another,  or  their  duty  to  God.  I 
bade  him  good-morning,  and  my  niece  and  I  started  to  get  ready 
for  the  trial.  By  evening  I  had  things  almost  ready.  The  next 
day  was  Sunday,  and  the  Olive  Branch  Mission  wanted  me  to 
attend  their  Sunday  school  in  the  afternoon  and  then  lead  a  street 
meeting  afterwards.  I  did,  and  I  want  to  tell  you  it  surely  was 
Rachel  Peterson  who  led  the  meeting;  the  Holy  Ghost  had  nothing 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  327 

to  do  with  it.  It  was  the  first  meeting  I  had  led  without  the  Spirit 
>ince  the  fourth  week  after  my  conversion ;  up  to  that  time  I  had 
always  had  the  aid  of  the  Spirit.  If  Christians  had  the  Spirit  there 
would  not  be  this  kind  of  work  in  the  church.  On  Saturday 
evening  I  went  to  bed  alone.  The  Holy  Spirit  had  left  me,  but  I 
knew  well  enough  I  could  lead  the  meeting  without  the  Spirit. 
I  intended  to  go  on  with  the  trial.  I  thought  if  everyone  else 

afraid  of  the  people,  why  should  not  I  be?  Many  said:  "If 
you  do  not,  Sister  Peterson,  you  are  a  ruined  woman."  And  I 
would  say  t<>  my-elf:  "Well,  I  have  started  this  time  and  I  will 
not  give  it  up."  But  before  the  meeting  was  over  that  Sunday 
afternoon  I  said :  "Lord,  you  did  not  help  me  in  that  meeting, 
but  I  got  through  all  right  anyway.  Lord,  you  know  why  I  am 
4  this.  It  is  because  I  am  afraid  of  what  the  people  would 

and  you  know,  Lord,  all   my  friends  tell  me  to  go  on,  and 

they  are  as  good  Christians  as  I  am.     Lord,  why  cannot  I  do  as 

tlu-y  tell   me  to  do?*'     But   I   could   not  get  one  thing  from   the 

1;  not  one  bit  of  the  influence  of  the  Holy  Spirit  could  I  feel; 

not  one  passage  of  scripture  from  the  time  I  fully  made  up  my 

mind  to  do  this,  on   Friday  evening,  till   Monday  morning  at  ten 

o'clock.     I  prayed  and  talked  to  the  Lord,  and  waited  and  depended 

upon  the  Spirit  to  bring  me  a  passage  of  scripture,  but  he  would 

The  last  passage  of  scripture  the  Holy  Spirit  brought  to  me 

I  Peter  4:16.  I  tried  to  think  of  different  passages  of  scrip- 
ture, but  there  is  a  great  difference  between  trying  to  think  and 
the  Holy  Spirit  bringing  it  to  us.  Oh,  how  I  felt  the  difference! 
But  I  thought  if  I  would  keep  on  praying  and  trusting  in  my  own 
igth  the  Holy  Spirit  would  come  back  to  me.  How  daring 
I  was !  I  never  did  come  so  near  wilfully  sinning  or  defying  God 

y  life  as  I  did  that  Saturday  and  Sunday.  I  went  to  bed 
Saturday  evening  and  tried  to  pray,  but  I  felt  I  was  praying  to 
myself;  that  God,  without  a  doubt,  had  turned  a  deaf  ear  to  my 
prayer  and  my  trying  to  commune  with  him  was  useless.  In  my 
heart  was  a  lonely,  empty  feeling.  Again  Sunday  night  I  went 
to  bed  without  that  sweet  blessing  in  my  heart  I  had  had  for  years. 
Before  I  went  to  sleep  I  could  not  help  thinking  of  the  last  Wedn 

evening  on  the  wagon  and  how  the  Lord  blessed  me.     Many 

ion  people  said  they  never  heard  me  speak  with  such  power  as 

I  had   that   Wednesday  evening.     It   seemed   to  me  the   Almighty 

was  holding  me  between  heaven  and  earth  and  that  his  Spirit 

-urging  through  my  soul.     Thoughts  came  like  a  joyous  flood  till 

>uld  hardly  speak  the  words  as  fast  as  they  came.     As  I  lay 

•  thinking,  I  said  to  myself:  "Is  it  possible  that  this  is  all 
gone  from  me,  never  to  return?"  Still  I  would  not  give  up  the 


328  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

idea  of  going  ahead  with  the  trial.  The  next  morning,  while  I 
was  dressing,  there  came  over  me  the  most  hateful  feeling,  as 
powerful  as  had  been  my  blessings.  It  made  me  hate  everyone 
and  was  the  first  time  the  spirit  of  the  devil  had  entered  me  since 
the  Lord  forgave  me.  I  went  into  the  kitchen,  made  the  fire  and 
started  breakfast.  Sister  W —  came  in  and  had  no  more  than  sat 
down  when  she  saw  the  devil.  She  was  gifted  to  see,  as  spoken 
of  in  the  bible.  If  you  believe  in  God's  word  you  cannot  question 
what  I  say.  She  did  not  say  anything  of  what  she  had  seen,  but 
she  folded  her  arms  and  rocked  back  and  forward  in  her  chair, 
humming  this  song:  "Once  I  was  far  away  from  my  Savior."  I 
knew  she  saw  the  devil,  for  at  such  times  she  always  hummed  this 
song.  Such  a  hatred  came  into  my  heart  for  her  that  I  wanted  to 
pitch  her  out  of  the  kitchen.  When  that  feeling  came  I  knew  I 
was  dreadfully  wrong  some  way,  for  I  had  always  loved  her  as 
a  mother.  I  knew*  she  had  done  nothing,  so  I  knew  it  was  myself 
and  not  her.  I  went  on  getting  breakfast,  while  she  tried  to  sing 
the  devil  out  of  the  kitchen,  but  he  did  not  go.  He  was  after 
me  and  I  could  not  help  feeling  him.  I  knew,  she  being  one  who 
could  see,  that  she  could  not  help  seeing  him  when  I  felt  him  so 
plainly.  She  did  not  know  I  had  taken  up  the  trial  again,  or  she 
would  have  known  why  the  devil  was  there.  I  had  said  nothing 
to  her  about  going  to  bed  without  God  and  getting  up  with  the 
devil.  It  had  been  a  long  time  since  the  devil  had  been  my  com- 
panion so  early  in  the  morning.  I  knew  something  must  be  done. 
Were  you  ever  busy  as  could  be,  when  all  at  once  a  hateful  feeling 
would  come  over  you  till  you  felt  like  saying  something  just  to 
hurt  someone's  feelings?  Well,  this  is  the  way  I  felt,  and  it  kept 
getting  worse  till  I  was  ready  to  throw  things  at  every  little  thing. 
The  devil  did  not  let  me  get  ashamed.  He  made  me  feel  that  I 
didn't  care.  That  is  the  way  he  gives  strength.  I  know  you  will 
understand  wlhat  I  am  talking  about,  for  our  hearts  are  all  alike. 
We  are  human,  and  the  devil  comes  and  tempts  you  as  well  as  he 
came  to  me.  The  trouble  is  too  many  of  us  give  way  and  do  not 
recognize  that  he  makes  us  feel  and  act  upon  his  suggestions. 
Instead  of  shutting  our  mouths  and  praying,  we  do  as  the  devil 
tells  us.  We  comfort  ourselves  by  saying  it  is  only  human  nature, 
which  is  only  a  lie  of  the  devil,  for  when  God  made  man  he  created 
human  nature  and  he  made  all  nature  to  agree.  The  flowers,  and 
trees,  and  hills  are  all  in  harmony.  It  is  sin  that  causes  even 
the  animals  to  fight.  It  w&s  sin  that  made  the>  weeds  grow,  for 
he  cursed  the  earth.  Everything  that  fights  is  of  the  devil.  One 
who  has  the  devil  in  hirm  should  not  be  at  the  head  of  a  family, 
for  God  tells  us  to  rule  with  love,  as  he  rules  this  world  and  all 


KNOWETH 
tH<L  WAY 

HAT  I  TAKE. 


DECIDING    THE   CHURCH   TRIAL 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  329 

humanity.  For  he  is  love,  and  this  hateful  feeling  that  causes  us 
to  say  mean  things  to  hurt  one  another's  feelings  is  not  love,  and 
what  is  not  pf  love  is  of  the  devil.  Remember,  a  devilish  woman 
having  these  feelings  is  not  fit  to  rule  her  own  house.  We  are 
the  instrument  which  both  God  and  the  devil  work  through,  but 
•thousands  of  Christians  will  not  admit  this.  They  say  it  is  the 
disposition  they  have  inherited  from  their  father  or  mother.  The 
devil  doesn't  care  what  you  call  him.  Disposition  is  as  good  as 
anything,  so  long  as  he  can  get  you  to  do  as  fie  likes.  I  wouldn't 
wonder  if  he  gets  tired  of  his  name  and  would  like  to  have  it  changed. 
He  is  easily  pleased  if  he  can  blind  you  to  go  on  with  your  temper, 
and  pride,  and  other  sins  of  the  flesh.  God  will  help  you  lay  aside 
these  things  if  you  go  to  him  for  the  Spirit.  Anyone  who  is  led  by  the 
Spirit  does  not  act  like  this,  I  know,  for  he  tells  us  in  Romans  if 
we  are  led  by  the  Spirit  we  will  not  fulfill  the  lusts  of  the  flesh. 
And  what  is  it  but  the  devil  using  these  lusts?  So  you  see  it  is 
not  human  nature,  but  lust,  which  is  sin,  and  what  is  sin  but  the 
devil?  Call  him  by  his  right  name,  the  name  the  Lord  gave  him 
— the  devil.  Don't  call  it  inherited  sins,  but  inherited  devils.  We 
need  the  blood  of  Christ  to  take  out  these  inherited  devils,  even 
after  our  conversion.  This  is  how  the  old  fellow  was  trying  to 
get  me  that  Monday  morning,  and  I  knew  why.  Because  I  had 
not  let  the  Holy  Spirit  lead  me  I  was  left  to  the  mercy  of  the  devil. 
When  the  devil  got  me  where  he  wanted  me  to  make  up  my  mind 
to  go  on  with  the  trial  he  filled  me  with  these  hateful  feelings,  and 
made  me  hate  the  good  as  well  as  the  bad.  As  I  opened  the  oven 
door  a  great  cloud  of  smoke  came  into  my  face.  There  was  a  pan 
of  grease  burned  to  a  black  coal.  Before  I  could  get  it  out  of  the 
oven  Jennie  came  in,  and,  do  you  know,  the  devil  was  in  me  so 
big  that  I  scored  her  for  her  carelessness  and  upbraided  her  because 
her  memory  was  so  poor.  Angry  as  I  was,  I  could  not  help  seeing 
the  surprised  look  in  her  face  at  what  I  said.  Her  eyes  were 
open  wide.  I  knew  she  was  amazed,  for  in  all  the  three  years 
she  had  never  seen  me  like  that  or  heard  me  say  anything  to  hurt 
anyone's  feelings.  I  had  been  telling  her  my  heart  was  getting 
hard  as  a  stone,  and  for  the  life  of  me  I  could  not  help  it.  But 
I  knew!  she  was  not  looking  for  it  to  affect  me  in  that  way,  but 
we  are  likely  .to  say  anything  to  anyone.  The  devil  is  no  respecter 
of  persons.  When  I  saw  the  surprised  look  on  her  face  I  could 
not  help  saying:  "Well,  Jennie,  you  never  saw  me  like  this  before, 
did  you?"  "No,  Aunt  Ray,  I  never  did,"  she  answered.  "Nor 
anyone  else,"  I  said,  "for  a  good  many  years."  Not  since  the 
Lord  pulled  the  idevil  out,  like  the  pulling  of  a  sunflower,  as  I 
have  told  you.  Some  think  the  Lord  gives  grace  to  keep  our 


33°  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

feelings  down.  But  never !  He  takes  them  out.  I  have  heard 
it  said  there  is  no  one  who  will  not  be  touched  if  you  get  at  them 
right.  But  my  niece  knows  she  never  saw  me  touched.  I  have 
been  accused  of  getting  angry  when  there  was  nothing  in  my  heart 
but  earnestness,  as  God  knew.  Some  people  cannot  tell  an  earnest 
person  from  an  angry  person;  the  only  way  is  by  the  words.  It 
we  are  angry  wie  will  say  mean,  ugly,  hateful  things.  To  be  in 
earnest  and  talk  loud  is  not  being  angry.  But  my  niece  knew,  and 
I  said:  "Jennie,  the  devil  is  after  me,  and  I  am  afraid  he  is  going 
to  get  me  if  I  do  not  stop.  .Some  can  go  on  and  do  these  things 
and  think  nothing  about  it,  but  I  tell  you  if  the  Holy  Spirit  is 
leading  you  you  cannot  do  these  things,  unless  you  are  going  to 
hell,  for  it  is  nothing  but  hell  to  have  the  Spirit  leave  you."  I 
said:  "Jennie,"  I  shall  have  to  settle  this  thing  one  way  or  the 
other.  After  breakfast  I  must  know  whether  I  am  going  to  hell 
or  heaven."  Then  I  turned  to  Sister  Worthiam  and  said :  "Sister 
you  do  not  know  what  has  got  me  in  this  condition."  I  told  her 
I  had  taken  up  the  trial  and  my  heart  had  been  getting  hard  ever 
since.  Then  she  told  me  she  had  seen  the  devil  all  the  morning. 
I  told  her  I  did  not  doubt  it.  She  said  she  could  not  imagine 
what  it  was  that  pleased  the  devil  so,  but  no  wonder  he  was  pleased. 
I  told  her  after  breakfast  she  and  Jennie  and  I  would  go  upstairs, 
for  this  thing  must  be  settled.  I  must  know  definitely  what  the 
Lord  would  have  me  do.  So,  after  breakfast  was  over,  we  three 
went  upstairs  and  were  there  nearly  three  hours,  locked  in  the 
room.  And,  thank  God,  he  gave  us  the  victory.  We  went  to  the 
room  I  had  used  for  years  to  commune  with  God,  artd  the  Lord 
knew  we  had  come  to  meet  with  him.  Sister  Worthiam  read  a 
chapter  and  we  all  three  knelt  down.  Sister  Worthiam  prayed 
first.  While  she  was  praying  I  was  asking  God  to  help  me  to  do 
his  whole  will  and  to  help  me  to  turn  from  my  ways  and  feelings, 
for  I  could  not  do  it  in  my  own  strength.  When  she  was  through 
praying  I  asked  Jennie  to  pray,  but  she  said,  "Aunt  Ray,  I  cannot," 
for  her  struggle  was  even  greater  than  mine.  It  seemed  harder 
that  morning  for  her  to  reach  God  than  for  me,  for  she  did  not 
want  me  to  receive  anything  that  would  cause  me  to  give  up  the 
trial.  Then  I  threwi  myself  on  the  Lord,  body,  soul,  mind,  will 
and  all,  and  said :  "Lord,  let  come  what  may,  if  yon  will,  search 
me  and  make  me  all  over  new  this  morning."  The  devil,  in  less 
than  three  days,  had  undone  all  God  had  done  in  ten  years.  I 
realized  I  was  going  down  as  fast  as  Peter  did  when  he  started 
to  walk  on  the  water  to  the  Lord.  When  he  got  his  eyes  off  the 
Lord  he  began  to  realize  his  condition  in  a  few  moments,  but  it 
took  me  nearly  three  days  to  know  without  a  doubt  that  I  was 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  331 

.sinking  fast,  and  if  I  did  not  get  the  Spirit  I  was  a  hopeless  and 
helpless  case.  There  are  many  that  go  down  under  smaller  trials 
than  I  was  going  through  and  do  not  seem  to  realize  their  awful 
condition.  I  do  not  know  how  they  can  do  it,  if  they  know  the 
scripture  at  all.  As  I  let  my  whole  being  go  out  to  God,  I  had 
hardly  committed  myself  by  the  act  of  the  will  till  the  Holy  Ghost 
came  like  some  mighty  angel  and  bore  me  away  into  the  realms  of 
light  on  his  mighty  wings.  Never  in  my  life  before  did  I  realize 
the  word  of  God  where  he  says.  "The  Spirit  also  helpeth  our 
infirmities;"  for  we  know  not  what  we  should  pray  for  as  we 
ought.  I  knew  because  of  the  infirmities  of  my  flesh  for  three  day- 
the  Spirit  must  help  me  or  I  was  gone,  for  I  had  lost  the  Spirit 
and  could  not  pray  as  I  ought.  "But  the  Spirit  itself  maketh 
intercession  for  us  with  groanings  that  cannot  be  uttered"  (Rom. 
8:26).  I  never  knew  the  meaning  of  the  groanings  as  I  did  when 
I  threw  myself  on  the  Lord  that  morning,  and  the  Spirit  brought 
me  the  scripture  and  what  I  ought  to  ask  for.  I  tell  you  I  held 
on  till  I  knew  the  Holy  Ghost  had  made  the  temple  of  God  what 
it  should  be.  He  gave  mjy  heart  and  my  whole  being  a  good 
cleaning  out.  The  Holy  Spirit  made  me  so  sensitive  that  I  could 
feel  the  condition  of  my  own  heart  as  plainly  as  though  I  could 
see  it  with  my  naked  eye.  You  know  the  heart  is  thicker  in  some 
places  than  ir^  others ;  well,  on  the  thick  part  of  the  heart  was  -\ 
round  pebble.  It  felt  as  large  as  a  pea,  and  as  soon  as  I  realized 
it  was  there  these  words  come  to  me:  "Lord,  do  not.  stop  till 
you  take  every  bit  of  hardness  out  of  my  heart,  and  give  me  com* 
plete  love  for  my  enemies,  and  for  everyone  who  has  wronged  me 
by  listening  to  those  stories  and  repeating  what  they  heard."  God 
tells  us  not  to  speak  of  those  things,  and  I  could  not  help  thinking 
of  those  who  believed  the  lies  that  were  being  told.  As  I  said, 
"Lord,  do  not  let  me  have  one  hard  feeling  against  one  of  them. 
Lord,  you  know  I  do  want  a  soft  and  loving  heart ;"  as  I  said 
these  words,  believe  me,  dear  reader,  the  pebble  rolled  off  the 
fleshy  table  of  my  heart  and  I  felt  it  as  plain  as  anything  in  the 
world — it  rolled  off  my  heart  and  lit  down  in  my  bowels.  It 
seemed  to  be  a  literal  thing,  it  was  so  plain.  You  may  say  I 
am  crazy,  but  I  am  not.  I  expect  to  meet  this  story  at  the  judgment 
bar,  and  I  am  willing  to,  for  it  is  nothing  but  the  truth.  God 
knew  he  had  to  reveal  something  wonderful  and  plain  to  me,  for 
I  was  going  down  under  the  terrible  crush.  In  the  twinkling  of 
an  eye  there  came  to  my  heart  such  a  burning  love  for  all  those 
that  had  wronged  me  that  I  could  not  help  rejoicing.  While  all 
these  feelings  were  going  on  in  my  heart  this  scripture  came  to 
me:  "Thinkest  thou  that  I  cannot  now  pray  to  my  Father,  and 


332  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

he  shall  presently  give  me  more  than  twelve  legions  of  angels? 
But  how  then  shall  the  scriptures  be  fulfilled ?"  (Matt.  26:53,  54.)  I 
said:  "Lord,  is  this  what  you  want  me  to  do?"  and  the  answer 
came:  "How  can  you  walk  in  his  footsteps  if  you  do  not?" 
And  I  said:  "Lord,  I  will."  How  I  could  live  this  part  of  God's 
word  after  I  gave  up  my  will  to  him:  "Recompense  to  no  man  evil 
for  evil  ?"  And  I  said :  "Lord,  what  was  it  that  I  was  going  to 
do?"  Oh,  how  near  I  came  to  going  against  the  word  of  God! 
And  if  I  had,  when  I  knew  better,  what  would  have  become  of 
me?  I  believe  to  this  day  that  if  I  had  the  Holy  Spirit  would  never 
have  come  back  to  me  again.  I  would  have  wilfully  sinned,  for 
I  was  not  ignorant  of  God's  word.  I  had  studied  it  for  twelve 
years.  I  could  see  why  the  Spirit  had  left  me.  Phil.  2:4:  "Look 
not  every  man  on  his  own  things,  but  every  man  also  on  the  things 
of  others."  I  said:  "Lord,  if  I  had,  the  ones  I  got  the  best  of  in 
the  trial,  as  I  could,  might  not  have  stood  it  as  I  did."  The  Lord 
might  not  have  given  them  the  strength,  as  they  did  not  know  the 
scripture  as  I  did,  nor  were  they  as  sensitive  to  being  lost.  This 
passage  came  to  me,  I  Pet.  2 :23 :  "Who,  when  he  was  reviled, 
reviled  not  again ;  when  he  suffered,  he  threatened  not."  And 
then  the  21  st  verse:  "Christ  also  suffered  for  us,  leaving  us  an 
example  that  ye  should  follow  his  steps."  I  rose  from  my  knees 
with  complete  victory  and  with  the  joy  of  the  Lor^  in  my  heart. 
The  Lord  tells  us  the  joy  of  the  Lord  is  our  strength,  and  I  had 
the  strength  without  a  doubt.  I  said :  "Now,  this  time,  by  the 
grace  of  God,  I  will  not  go  back  on  my  word,  no  matter  what 
they  say  or  do."  I  could  not  help  feeling  some  for  Jennie,  for 
she  could  not  yet  say,  "Lord,  thy  will  be  done,"  but  I  could  not 
disobey  God  and  his  Holy  Word.  With  tears,  Jennie  came  to 
me  after  we  were  through  praying  and  said :  "Aunt  Ray,  I  cannot 
be  willing  for  you  to  suffer  scoffs  from  everyone."  I  said :  "Jennie, 
I  must  suffer  it.  The  Son  of  God  suffered  the  scoffs  and  jeers 
of  all  but  the  followers  he  had,  and  I  can  and  will,  by  the  grace  of 
God."  Still  she  insisted :  "Aunt  Ray,  this  will  send  my  soul'  to 
hell."  And  I  said :  "Jennie,  if  it  does,  then  you  will  have  to  go. 
I  must  obey  God.  You  know,  dear  child,  how  God  has  led  me  this 
morning  and  I  must  do  his  will.  You  stay  in  this  room  till  you  get 
the  victory.  I  will  go  and  get  dinner."  So  Sister  Worthiam  and 
I  left  her  alone  with  God  and  we  prayed  God  to  help  the  darling 
child,  for  I  knew  what  she  was  suffering.  In  the  afternoon  she 
came  downstairs  and  said  she  could  be  reconciled  if  I  would  let 
her  go  on  with  the  trial.  I  said:  "Jennie,  they  will  not  pay  any 
attention  to  you,  but  you  can  do  as  you  like.  Tell  everyone  I  have 
given  it  up  and  have  taken  my  hands  off.  God  shall  avenge  all  mine 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  333 

enemies."  Then  she  made  up  her  mind  they  should  not  have  their 
own  way  about  me;  that  she  could  not  bear  to  have  my  enemies 
rejoice  over  me.  So  she  went  to  the  ones  I  had  gone  to  and  told 
them  what  I  had  said  and  that  she  had  taken  it  up.  Those  she 
could  not  see  she  sent  word  to.  She  notified  Brother  Warren  to 
be  at  the  trial  as  attorney  for  Sister  Peterson.  Before  the  trial 
she  was  so  convicted  to  stay  away  that  when  Mr.  Gayhart  came 
and  asked  her  to  help  his  two  daughters  wait  tables  in  the  res- 
taurant she  went.  It  was  the  day  before  the  trial,  and  she  told 
me  she  could  not  get  away  without  a  great  deal  of  trouble.  There 
came  over  her  such  a  disgust  for  the  whole  thing  that  she  decided 
to  do  as  I  did  and  let  them  have  their  way.  She  would  not  contend 
with  them.  Sister  Worthiam  and  I  were  praying  the  Lord  might 
stop  her  in  some  way,  and  he  did.  It  was  too  late  to  let  Brother 
Warren  know  that  Jennie  was  convicted  of  God  to  let  it  go.  I 
do  not  know  whether  or  not  he  knows  it  was  not  at  my  request, 
but  Jennie's,  that  he  was  there  at  the  trial.  Anyway,  there  were 
two  or  three  that  came  in  my  behalf,  not  knowing  Jennie  had 
decided  with  me  to  let  it  go.  God  blessed  her  in  doing  as  she 
did.  She  has  said  hundreds  of  times  to  me  since :  "Aunt  Ray,  Gocl 
surely  led  you  right  and  without  a  doubt  he  has  avenged  your 
enemies.  And  I  am  so  glad  that  I  had  nothing  to  do  with  the 
villainous  work.  My  soul  is  clear  of  that  sin."  The  day  they  had 
the  trial  I  bought  the  tent.  Sister  Worthiam  and  I  passed  the 
Mission  as  they  sat  in  council  against  me.  I  Cor.  4 15 :  "Therefore, 
judge  nothing  before  the  time,  until  the  Lord  come/'  But  the> 
did  not  wait;  they  judged  me,  and  from  the  way  Paul  speaks  in 
Romans  3:7,  8,  he,  too,  was  judged  as  a  sinner  and  was  accused 
of  lying,  and  was  slanderously  reported.  Some  said  they  said : 
"Let  us  do  evil  that  good  may  come;"  so  I  see  the  way  Paul  was 
slandered.  I  could  bear  it,  but  I  suffered.  God  tells  us  in  Rom. 
2:1:  "For  thou  that  judgest,  doest  the  same  things."  The  3d  ve*rsc 
-ays  he  that  judgest  and  doest  the  same  shall  not  escape 
the  judgment  of  God.  They  have  not  escaped,  I  know,  and  with 
all  of  their  judgments,  and  abuse,  and  scorn,  they  did  not  believe 
or  understand  the  word  of  God.  If  they  had,  and  thought  me 
Mich  a  sinner,  I  would  have  thought  they  would  have  hung  their 
heads  in  shame,  when  they  were  guilty  of  the  same  that  they 
churched  me  for.  What  should  have  been  done  with  them?  God 
asked  them,  Rom.  14:4:  "Who  art  thou  that  judgest  another 
man's  servants?  to  his  own  master  he  standeth  or  falleth :  yea. 
he  shall  be  holden  up,  for  God  is  able  to  make  him  stand."  Thank- 
God,  I  was  his  servant.  He  helped  me  to  stand ;  he  put  his  ever- 
lasting arm  around  me  and  held  me  up.  Think  of  them  being 


334  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

guilty  of  the  same  thing!  And  with  that  they  judged  me  without 
hearing  me.  John  7:51:  "Doth  our  law  judge  any  man  before  it 
hear  him,  and  knoweth  what  he  doeth?"  But  that  is  the  way 
they  did. 

I  always  try  to  keep  this  scripture  in  my  mind,  Rom.  8:18: 
"For  I  reckon  that  the  sufferings  of  this  present  time  are  not 
worthy  to  be  compared  with  the  glory  which  shall  be  revealed 
in  us."  Paul  tried  to  shame  them  jby  telling  them,  I  Cor.  6 15 : 
"No,  not  one  that  shall  be  able  to  judge  between  his  brethren." 
What  I  passed  through  only  God  knows.  As  David  said,  in 
Psalms  35:11:  "False  witnesses  did  raise  up;  they  laid  to  my 
charge  things  that  I  knew  not.  They  rewarded  me  evil  for  good 
to  the  spoiling  of  my  soul."  I  could  not  help  thinking  of  David 
when  my  enemies  got  after  me.  They  reminded  me  of  David's 
enemies  in  Psalms  56:5,  6:  "Every  day  they  wrest  my  words:  all 
their  thoughts  were  against  me  for  evil.  They  gather  themselves 
together,  they  hide  themselves,  they  mark  my  steps,  when  they 
wait  for  my  soul."  Psalms  69:20:  "Reproach  hath  broken  my 
heart,  and  I  am  full  of  heaviness;  and  I  looked  for  some  to  take 
pity,  but  there  was  none;  and  for  comforters,  but  I  found  none." 
I  learned  more  in  that  trouble  than  I  learned  in  all  the  twelve 
years  of  my  Christian  life.  I  learned  the  wickedness  of  the  human 
heart  as  I  had  never  learned  it,  nor  could  I  have  gotten  to  the 
depths  of  their  evil  thoughts  in  any  other  way.  I  often  wondered 
if  David  ever  regretted  having  enemies.  I  know  I  never  have. 
With  David  I  could  say  I  w'as  not  afraid  of  evil  tongues,  for  my 
heart  was  fixed,  trusting  in  the  Lord  (Psalms  112:7). 

When  I  read  how  David  complained  (perhaps  I  should  not 
call  it  complaining,  but  what  he  said  of  his  enemies,  for  God  said 
David  was  a  man  after  his  own  heart),  I  feel  that  I  can  say  what 
I  have  said  and  please  God,  for  David  did  the  same  thing.  ,The  same 
evil*  heart  is  still  in  human  beings,  and  among  the  church  members, 
as  it  was  in  David's  time.  Though  it  is  not  rebuked  as  much, 
it  is  still  there.  It  is  well  enough  to  talk  about  what  the  Lord 
and  his  followers  went  through,  but  let  us  talk  about  what  his 
followers  have  to  go  through  now.  We  will  have  a  good  many 
to  rebuke  openly.  When  Paul  saw  Peter  doing  things  he  should 
not,  before  them  all  he  told  what  Peter  had  done.  Was  not  this 
his  own  business?  If  it  had  been  just  concerning  himself  Paul 
would  have  gone  to  him  differently,  but  it  was  not,  and  he  said: 
"Peter,  you  are  a  Jew ;  now  you  have  been  living  as  the  Gentiles, 
and  now  why  compellest  thou  the  Gentiles  to  live  as  do  the  Jews, 
when  you  have  not  been  living  as  you  are  teaching  now?"  It 
is  trying  to  get  somebody  else  to  do  something  they  were' not  doing 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  335 

themselves  (Gal.  2:14).  That  is  the  way  they  were  wanting  me 
to,  instead  of  having  someone  like  Paul  say:  "Look  here,  Sister 
H — ,  and  Sister  T — ,  and  Brother  W — ,  you  want  Sister  Peterson  to 
stop  doing  what  you  are  guilty  of;  you  are  judging  her,  and  God's 
word  says  you  are  guilty  of  the  same  thing.  It  is  you  that  are  the 
hypocrites,  for  you  have  a  beam  in  your  own  eyes,  when  she  has 
nothing  but  a  mote.  Oh,  ye  hypocrites!"  It  is  always  so  of  tlu- 
one  who  is  trying  to  get  someone  else  right.  There  is  no  better 
way  to  tell  a  hypocrite.  God's  way  is  to  go  to  them,  and  say 
nothing  about  it.  I  was  not  doing  as  Peter  was,  minding  some- 
one's business  not  my  own.  Peter  was  not  a  hypocrite,  but  if 
he  had  not  stopped  when  Paul  rebuked  him  he  might  have  been. 
We  have  no  one  to  rebuke  that  kind  of  people  openly  before  all. 
It  would  make  trouble,  but  we  have  the  kind  to  go  for  the  other 
side.  If  there  is  anything  said  about  the  tattler  or  the  busybody, 
it  is  only  to  condemn  them  in  the  pulpit,  but  those  that  are  repeating 
everything  they  hear,  whether  it  be  a  lie  or  the  truth,  are  never 
mentioned  in  public  nor  rebuked  before  all.  I  Tim.  5:20:  "Them 
that  sin  rebuke  before  all,  that  others  also  may  fear."  This  com- 
mand is  given  to  the  leaders  and  those  who  have  charge  over  the 
people,  as  Timothy  had.  Not  everyone  who  joins  the  church  can 
do  this  rebuking,  and  then  they  must  know  whether  they  have 
sinned  or  not  before  they  rebuke.  It  must  not  be  hearsay ;  tlu-v 
must  know.  Instead  of  doing  this  way  the  people  are  trying  to  get 
the  minister  and  each  other  right  by  finding  fault.  Go  to  these 
and  ask  them  how  many  chapters  in  the  bible  they  read  a  year, 
and  how  much  they  have  committed  to  memory,  and  you  will 
find  one  out  of  a  hundred  who  can  quote  one  verse  right.  They 
will  tell  you  they  have  to  work  so  hard  they  have  no  time;  but 
ask  them  how  many  columns  in  the  newspaper  •  they  have  read, 
and  ninety-nine  out  of  the  hundred  will  tell  you  all  the  news. 
They  are  the  ones  that  will  tell  you  how  to  do  to  be  a  Christian, 
and  they  couldn't  quote  a  hundred  verses  of  scripture  to  save 
their  lives.  But  they  think  they  know  enough  to  dictate  to  a 
minister  or  a  teacher  of  God's  word.  They  will  not  come  to  you 
and  tell  you  what  you  should  do,  but  they  will  go  to  others  about 
it.  I  wish  to  call  the  attention  of  that  kind  of  Christians  to  this 
passage  of  scripture.  I  have  no  idea  they  know  that  these  words 
are  in  the  bible.  If  they  do,  they  can't  believe  the  words,  or  they 
would  not  have  felt  so  hard  of  me  for  living  according  to  the 
bible.  I  Thess.  5:15:  "See  that  none  render  evil  for  evil  unto 
uny  man."  Yet  these  brothers  and  sisters  who  have  not  read  the 
bible  half  through  since  they  were  converted,  and  never  sat  down 
with  the  bible  and  asked  the  Holy  Spirit  to  teach  them,  would 
tell  one  who  has  been  on  her  knees  -for  fifteen  vears  that  it  meant 


33^  THE      LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

something  else;  that  they  did  not  feel  that  it  was  wrong,  and 
that  they  were  not  condemned  for  evil.  That  is  the  way  they 
talk.  God  help  us  to  see  what  he  says  in  his  word,  not  what  we 
feel  or  think.  I  was  called  a  fool  by  my  best  friends,  but  it  was 
for  the  sake  of  the  word  of  God  and  my  own  soul.  They  called 
me  weak  and  a  coward,  yet  I  was  strong,  or  what  I  went  through 
would  have  sent  my  soul  to  hell.  I  was  despised,  but  honorable. 
(I  Cor.  4:10.)  You  may  ask  how  we  are  to  know  I 
was  honorable.  I  have  proved  it  by  my  life  since— more  than  ten 
years.  I  had  also  proved  myself  fifteen  years  before.  Twenty-six 
years  altogether  have  I  proved  my  life  in  Denver.  How  did  I 
prove  myself?  By  honesty  five  years  as  a  worldly  person,  twenty- 
one  years  as  a  Christian.  I  proved  it  by  the  bible  to  have  done  all  I 
have  by  love.  Read  I  Cor.  16:14.  I  have  without  a  doubt  proved 
to  all  the  sincerity  of  my  love.  Read  II  Cor.  8:8.  And  still  it 
was  like  Paul  says  in  II  Cor.  12:15.  The  more  abundantly  I 
loved  them  the  less  I  was  loved.  II  Cor.  12:16:  "Be  it  so,  I 
did  not  burden  you :  nevertheless,  being  crafty,  I  caught  you  with 
guile."  That  the  church  knew  nothing  about  and  will  not  till 
they  get  on  the  other  side.  I  have*  lived  as  those  mentioned  in 
I  Cor.  4:11.  I  have' been  hungry,  thirsty,  cold,  and  half  naked, 
and  was  buffeted,  and  did  not  know  when  the  hour  might  come 
that  I  would  not  have  a  place  to  live.  Read  the  I2th  and  I3th 
verses.  Most  all  the  Christians  in  Denver  know  I  have  suffered 
as  mentioned  in  these  two  verses,  without  saying  a  word.  I  have 
labored  with  mine  own  hands ;  being  reviled,  I  blessed  them,  and 
was  as  kind  to  them  as  a  mother  to  her  own ;  being  persecuted,  1 
suffered  it.  Being  defamed,  I  entreated.  How  I  tried  to  make 
them  believe  I  was  a  child  of  God !  but  all  in  vain.  But,  thank 
God,  they  have  learned  to  see  who  was  wrong  and  who  was  right. 
I  was  made  at  the  time  the  filth  of  the  earth,  and  the  offscouring 
of  all  things  unto  this  day.  God  has  surely  done  with  them  as 
he  did  with  those  in  II  Thess.  2:11:  "And  for  this  cause  God 
shall  send  them  strong  delusion,  that  they  should  believe  a  lie." 
There  are  many  church  members  who  would  rather  hear  a  story 
about  someone  than  to  hear  something  good ;  and  if  they  did  not 
believe  a  lie,  they  would  not  enjoy  a  lie.  Many  will  come  up 
in  that  day  and  say,  "Lord,  Lord,"  and  he  will  say,  "Why  do 
you  call  me  Lord,  and  not  do  the  things  I  say?"  Yet  because 
I  would  not  count  him  an  enemy  they  went  about  and  abused  me 
as  they  did.  I  had  told  a  dozen  before  the  trouble  began  that  I 
had  admonished  him  as  a  brother,  but  would  not  as  an  enemy. 
When  I  had  done  as  God  told  me  to  do  in  II  Thess.  3:15,  I  would 
not  do  any  more  to  please  anyone.  There  is  only  one  thing  that 
can  be  brought  before  the  church  for  trial,  and  that  is  when  one 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  337 

trespasses  against  another.  I  had  not  done  anything  like  that  to 
anyone.  They  got  it  into  their  heads  from  the  way  things  looked 
that  I  was  stuck  on  him.  The  word  tells  us  in  John  7:24:  ''Judge 
not  according  to  the  appearance,  but  judge  righteous  judgment." 
There  are  but  few.  who  can  see  beyond  the  clothes,  or  looks,  or 
ways.  And  that  is  why  they  cannot  see  anything  but  evil  in 
everything.  It  is  useless  to  tell  them  to  judge  a  righteous  judg- 
ment, for  they  would  not  know  the  bible  meaning  of  such  a 
judgment.  If  they  did  they  would  not  be  so  hasty  to  judge,  for 
they  would  not  allow  evil  judgments  to  come  into  their  own  lives. 
But  they  are  so  blind  they  cannot  see,  and  the  reason  they  are  so 
blind  is  that  they  will  not  stop  and  wait  until  they  know  how  to 
judge.  They  can  know  in  no  other  way  but  by  studying  God's  word, 
and  by  a  good,  long  experience.  But  they  go  on  judging,  and 
that  blinds  them,  and  they  are  so  ignorant  they  do  not  know  what 
is  causing  their  blindness.  John  13:17:  "If  ye  know  these  things, 
happy  are  ye  if  ye  do  them."  The  reason  there  are  so  many 
unhappy  Christians  is  because  they  don't  know  enough  about  God's 
word  to  do  it,  and  there  is  nothing  left  for  them  to  do  but  go 
around  with  long  faces. 

Two  or  three  days  before  I  bought  the  tent  I  wondered  if  it 
would  not  be  best  for  me  to  go  back  to  the  Tabernacle.  I  knew 
Brother  Uzzell  believed  me  to  be  true,  though  he  had  not  told 
me.  But  one  who  is  sensitive  to  the  Spirit  of  God  is  always 
sensitive  to  the  spirit  that  is  in  man,  whether  it  be  good  or  bad, 
and  I  always  felt  such  a  spirit  in  Brother  Uzzell  toward  me.  No 
matter  what  anyone's  else  was,  his  always  seemed  to  be  just  the 
same.  The  day  before  I  bought  my  tent  I  met  Brother  S — ,  and 
he  said:  "Sister  Peterson,  come  up  to  my  office  a  few  moments. 
I  want  to  talk  to  you."  As  I  sat  down  he  said:  "Sister  Peterson, 
is  not  this  a  dreadful  thing?"  "No,"  I  said,  "it  is  all  right, 
Brother  S — ."  "Well,"  he  said,  "what  are  you  going  to  do?"  I 
told  him  I  'had  not  yet  decided.  He  said:  "Sister  Peterson,  do 
not  think  of  blacksliding.  Do  you  know  there  are  hundreds  of 
souls  in  this  city  looking  at  you?  There  is  more  than  one,  in 
and  out  of  the  church,  who  has  already  told  me  if  you  failed 
there  is  nothing  in  religion."  I  did  not  speak  till  he  had  finished, 
and  then  I  asked  him  what  he  thought  I  meant  when  I  said  I  did 
not  know  what  to  do.  I  said:  "Oh,  my  dear  brother,  I  could  not 
think  of  such  a  thing.  I  never  was  more  determined  in  my  life 
to  be  true  to  the  One  who  took  my  feet  from  the  mire  and  the 
clay  and  placed  them  on  the  Rock  of  Ages.  My  brother,  by  the 
grace  of  God  they  shall  stay  there."  I  said  I  did  not  mean  that 
at  all;  I  meant  there  had  no  one  come  from  any  church  to  ask 
me  to  worship  with  them.  And  I  must  worship  God  somewhere, 


33$  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

if  it  be  under  my  own  juniper  tree  or  gourd  vine,  as  Jonah  did, 
till  I  can  see  what  the  Lord  wants  to  do  with  me  next.  Brother 
S —  said  it  would  be  best  for  me  to  go  back  to  the  Tabernacle, 
but  he  said  one  of  the  old  Mothers  in  Israel  told  him  she  expected 
that  I  would  be  coming  back  to  the  Tabernacle  and  that  Brother 
Uzzell  would  be  letting  me  run  everything  again.  That  settled 
me,  for  I  knew  what  sister  it  was,  and  that  she  was  no  friend  of 
mine.  She  never  showed  her  dislike  when  we  met,  but  I  had  the 
instinct  of  an  animal  left,  anyway,  and  could  tell.  Then  I  thought 
the  Lord  did  not  want  me  to  go  back  there,  and  I  told  him  what 
the  ,Lord  was  leading  me  to  do;  now  I  knew  it  was  best  to  do 
that.  So  I  bought  the  tent  and  within  a  month  we  had  it  up, 
and  a  floor  in  it,  and  seats;  wie  had  it  partly  boarded  up,  and 
meetings  every  night,  and  street  meetings,  till  the  weather  got  too 
cold.  I  told  them  on  the  street  about  the  money  we  lacked  for 
paying  for  the  tent  and  we  soon  raised  it.  The  scoffs  I  did  get 
on  the  streets  every  evening !  I  was  on  the  chair  talking  one 
evening  when  a  Christian  came  along,  stopped  a  few  minutes  to 
listen,  then  made  a  face  at  me  and  went  on.  Several  who  stood 
in  the  audience  saw  him  and  were  going  to  make  trouble  over  it. 
I  told  them  not  to  mind.  God  saw  what  they  did.  The  moment 
he  made  the  face  a  great  glory  came  over  me.  I  knew  the  insult 
was  from  the  devil,  and  that  is  why  God  sent  the  glory  into  my 
soul,  and  such  a  love  for  that  dear,  blind  brother.  Some  of  the 
Christians  said:  "Our  pastor  told  us  not  to  go  to  the  tent."  If 
they  did  they  would  be  expelled,  and  several  had  to  stop  coming. 
Some  of  the  members  from  the  Tabernacle  said  in  their  testimonies 
they  were  laughed  at  for  coming  by  some  of  the  members,  but 
they  did  not  care.  One  brother  said  that  one  of  the  members 
told  him  they  thought  he  was  hard  up  for  a  place  to  go  or  he 
would  not  go  to  that  place.  And  then  it  was  said  the  devil  was 
leading  the  meetings  in  the  tent,  not  God.  Anyway,  people  were 
converted  in  the  tent  and  are  standing  to-day  for  God,  and  some 
were  sanctified.  Through  this  trouble  the  work  of  sanctification 
was  completed,  and  I  gave  up  my  will  by  obeying  through  suffer- 
ing. I  reached  the  height  where  Abraham  stood  when  he  raised 
the  knife  to  slay  his  son. 

It  was  during  our  meetings  in  the  tent  that  Sister  Miller 
was  healed,  She  was  the  wife  of  the  minister  who  had  the  Metho- 
dist mission  near  the  Columbine  school  house.  They  did  not  lose 
confidence  in  me,  though  they  were  warned  by  two  ministers  to 
look  out  for  me,  that  I  was  not  all  right.  I  did  not  hear  of  this 
till  after  the  healing  was  done,  and  it  went  to  my  heart  like  a 
dagger.  Oh,  how  often  I  was  pierced  through  and  through  with 
this  kind  of  story!  Little  did  anyone  but  the  Lord  know  what 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  339 

those  darts  meant,  but  he  knew,  for  the  world  had  pierced  his 
heart.  While  I  was  passing  through  this  Garden  of  Gethsemane 
these  words  came  to  me:  "Dear  ones,  do  not  think  what  I  say 
to  be  cruel  or  wrong.  Oh,  then  let  me  fly  away  from  this  world 
of  sorrow  and  care  to  the  rock  of  refuge  and  safety.  Oh,  forbid 
I  should  bear  on  the  wings  of  this  hope  one  word,  or  thought, 
or  deed  that  would  tarnish,  hinder,  or  prevent.  Oh,  dear  ones, 
while  I  am  dying  to  the  things  of  this  life,  no  language,  words, 
or  tongue  the  anguish  can  tell.  One  word,  one  step,  one  mistake 
may  bring  years  of  sorroto  and  a  lifetime  of  regret.  Oh,  let  us  not 
be  lost  in  the  whirlpool  of  this  life  or  the  deceiver's  net.  Let  us 
look  unto  Jesus,  the  one  who  is  able  to  keep.  No,  dear  ones,  the 
things  of  this  life  you  and  I  cannot  trust.  They  will  vanish  away 
like  the  night  at  the  dawn  of  the  day  and  leave  you  without  hope, 
-afoty  or  peace.  Then,  let  the  nails  be  driven  and  clinched  with 
prayer,  though  the  scars  be  left ;  he  bore  them  before  us.  Though 
tender  ties  be  broken,  the  blood  of  Christ  can  heal.  This  is  why 
I  say,  dear  ones,  do  not  think  what  I  say  to  be  cruel  or  wrong.'' 

CHAPTER  XXII. 

WE  had  good  meetings  in  the  tent  all  winter,  but  the  burden 
was  too  heavy  for  me  to  bear.     The  care  of  the  meetings 
every   night,  added   to  my  home  work,   was  more   than   I 
could  do,  though  Sister  Worthiam  stood  by  me  like  a  heroine  and  a 
dear  mother.     Following  is  a  short  account  of  our  tent  work  from 
one  of  the  Denver  papers : 

"FAITH    AS    ADMINISTERED   BY   THE    NON-SECTARIAN    PILGRIM    TENT- 
WORKERS. 

"They  have  banded  themselves  together,  the  non-sectarian 
Pilgrim  Faith  Society.  Their  tent  is  at  Fourteenth  and  Lawrence. 
Services  are  held  in  the  tent  at  noon  and  at  7:30  p.  m.  every 
week  day  evening,  while  the  Sdbbath  is  observed  by  holding  an 
extra  service  at  three  o'clock  in  the  afternoon.  The  prayer  meet- 
ings are  led  by  Sister  Worthiam,  Sister  Peterson  being  the  preacher 
of  the  society. 

"HOW    THEY    ARE   REDEEMED. 

"Says  Sister  Worthiam :  'Faith  gives  us  all  we  need  and 
desire.'  The  lot  on  Fourteenth  and  Lawrence  streets  on  which 
the  tent  stands  was  donated  to  the  Pilgrim  Faith  Society  by  the 
wife  of  ex-Governor  Evans.  She  and  other  Denver  ladies  have 
given  Pilgrim  Faith  a  strong  support  in  helping  the  mission  of 


34°  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

these  two  sisters,  both  jail  evangelists.  It  is  probable  that  faith- 
filled  women  will  add  themselves  to  the  little  company  and  the 
work  of  redeeming  vags  will  spread  to  other  cities.  Denver, 
however,  can  claim  the  distinction  of  giving  birth  to  the  creed, 
that  by  faith  tramps  can  be  made  to  love  work." 

We  had  wonderful  success  with  the  class  the  paper  mentioned, 
but  day  by  day  I  felt  my  strength  failing.  We  ran  the  tent  meet- 
ings six  months.  In  April  I  gave  up  the  work,  contrary  to  the 
wishes  of  everyone  who  attended  the  tentr  services.  The  tent  held 
nearly  two  hundred  and  we  had  good  attendance  nearly  every 
night.  Sister  Worthiam  and  others  begged  me  not  to  let  the 
tent  work  go;  if  I  must  give  up  either,  let  it  be  my  home  instead 
of  God's  work.  I  had  gotten  where  I  must  decide.  As  the  Lord 
led  me  in  everything  else,  I  would  ask  his  aid  in  this.  So  one 
day  I  took  the  key  to  the  tent  and  at  nine  in  the  morning  I  went 
down,  telling  them  at  home  I  would  not  be  back  till  after  the 
meeting  that  evening.  I  had  enough  prepared  for  supper,  and 
Mr.  Peterson  ate  his  dinner  at  the  shoe  shop,  his  place  of  business 
at  the  time.  I  unlocked  the  door  and  went  in  and  built  a  fire 
in  the  stove.  Then  I  locked  the  door  and  told  the  Lord  he  must 
show  me  which  I  should  do,  give  up  the  tent  or  my  home.  I  told 
him  if  he  would  show  me  so  I  could  see  without  a  doubt,  that  I* 
never  would  go  back  to  the  house  again  to  take  up  the  cares  of 
the  home.  "But,  Lord,"  I  prayed,  "you  must  show  me  first  th2t 
this  is  your  will."  I  waited  and  prayed  and  the  day  was  almost 
gone.  I  told  the  Lord  he  must  ,show  me;  if  he  did  not  to-day,  I 
would  come  tomorrow,  and  every  day  till  he  did.  Along  in  the 
middle  of  the  afternoon  I  began  to  feel  my  heart  filling  up,  just 
as  it  would  when  I  was  leading  a  meeting,  and  I  knew  the  Holy 
Ghost  was  coming  to  commune  with  me  and  show  me  the  will 
of  God.  These  feelings  would  come  over  and  over  with  these 
impressive  thoughts :  "Not  now ;  go  home."  Then  I  said :  "Lord, 
that  means  to  give  up  the  tent  and  not  my  home."  Again  the 
thoughts,  like  words,  would  come* :  "Not  now ;  go  home."  And 
I  did.  The  next  day  I  sold  my  tent.  It  was  an  easy  matter  to 
dispose  of  everything  and  I  was  not  long  in  getting  rid  of  the 
heavy  burden.  I  could  see  so  plainly  it  was  the  will  of  the  Lord. 
And  here  I  wish  to  record  some  of  the  lines  that  came  to  me  at 
times  when  I  was  almost  overcome  by  the  mighty  waves  that,  like 
billows,  came  dashing  up  against  this  temple  of  mine : 

Father,  my  storm-tossed  soul  would  cling  to  thee 
While  the  fierce,  wild  billows  roll  o'er  life's  dark  sea; 
And  when  all  earthly  hopes  are  dead, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  341 

When  earthly  joys  are  tied, 
Where  shall  my  soul  be  led 
Except  to  thcef 

Father,  I  need  thee  in  this  dark  hour; 

Comfort,  sustain  and  help, 

And  let  the  floivcr  of  my  life,  bruised  and  crushed  though  it  be, 

Bear  more  fruit  for  thcc. 

And  come  to  thce  more  carn-estly, 

And  love  all  more  tenderly, 

Kept  by  thcc. 

father,  my  life,  while  wrecked  on  the  shores  of  time, 

Is  to  me  like  a  blank;  still  clinging  to  thee, 

In  thy  name. 

Weary  with  sorrow  and  strife,  Holy  Spirit  lead  me. 
While  my  tired  fctt  walk  in  the  dark  shades  of  life, 
Lord  keep  me. 

Father,  I  bring  to  thee  all  that  I  have, 

All  that  my  life  may  be,  and  all  tliat  I  can  do. 

Grant  that  this  offering  in  my  Savior's  name 

May  rise  with  holy  thoughts, 

Pure,  grand  and  true. 

Let  me,  oh,  let  me  be,  and  let  me  dwell 
In  thy  sweet  presence. 
Through  time  and  eternity, 
Lord,  thou  art  mine. 

I  am  ;so  glad  sorrow  and  sadness  are  not  sin.  Jesus  was  a 
man  of  sorrow  and  acquainted  with  grief.  Hebrews  tells  ITS  these 
things  are  grievous.  The  Lord  causes  our  sufferings  to  work  out 
to  our  own  good.  Our  salvation,  which  caused  our  Lord  to  groan, 
brought  joy  and  glad  tidings  to  us.  And  if  we  will  be  patient,  as 
he  was  in  his  suffering,  we  will  be  rewarded  in  this  life  and  the 
life  to  come.  These  words  have  always  come  to  me,  John  15:20: 
"If  they  have  persecuted  me,  they  will  also  persecute  you." 

During  the  meetings  in  the  tent  I  walked  home  every  night, 
and  -avcd  a  little  change  this  way  for  the  expenses  of  the  meeting 
and  for  our  work  outside  the  tent.  In  the  meetings  my  heart  would 
be  so  filled  with  joy  there  was  no  room  for  sadness,  and,  oh,  how 
I  would  long  to  always  stay  in  the  Spirit,  so  I  could  not  feel  the  sad- 
ness which  seemed  to  eat  at  my  very  heart.  At  times  I  thought  this 


342  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

suffering  would  kill  me.  It  was  at  these  times  that  the  verses  came 
to  me.  Many  of  my  friends  who  loved  and  trusted  me  had  absolute 
confidence  in  me,  in  spite  of  my  enemies,  till  they  found  I  was  not 
going  to  trial.  After  that,  word  came  to  me  that  they  doubted  me. 
They  would  have  stood  by  me,  whether  I  won  or  lost,  if  only  I  had 
gone  to  the  trial.  It  wore  upon  me  so  when  I  heard  of  it  that  a 
stunned  feeling  came  over  me,  reaching  to  all  parts  of  my  body. 
At  times  I  would  feel  like  I  were  paralyzed,  a  numb  feeling,  such 
as  your  foot  has  when  it  goes  to  sleep,  coming  over  me.  And  such 
an  intensely  lonely  feeling  would  take  possession  of  me,  then  I 
would  want  to  go  to  the  cemetery  and  live  among  the  dead,  where 
they  could  not  harm  me.  Then  the  feeling  would  come  to  me: 
They  have  crucified  you,  and  you  are  dead ;  they  have  killed  you, 
and  you  will  never  be  able  to  go  among  the  living  again ;  your 
place  is  among  the  dead ;  go  and  find  comfort  there.  When  anyone 
would  shake  hands  with  me  or  kiss  me  I  could  not  keep  these 
thoughts  from  ;miy  mind.  I  would  wonder  if  their  hearts  were 
black  with  evil  thoughts  against  me ;  if  they  were  thinking  that  I 
were  a  bad,  lustful  woman.  One  would  try  to  sympathize  with  me, 
and  I  would  wonder  if  they  meant  it.  I  would  often  ask  myself: 
Is  there  anyone  who  thinks  me  capable  of  one  pure  thought,  or 
act,  or  feeling? 

You  see,  my  heart  was  wrung  like  that  all  the  time,  only  when 
I  was  in  the  Spirit.  When  I  was  leading  a  meeting  or  praying  was 
the  only  time  I  was  free  from  these  sad  feelings  for  a  year.  I 
learned  that  human  beings  are  so  changeable  that  they  might  love 
you  to-day  and  hate  you  to-morrow,  though  you  might  be  pure  and 
true,  innocent  and  honest  in  your  own  heart,  knowing  all  you  did 
was  for  the  glory  of  God,  and  that  you  intended  so  long  as  you 
lived  to  do  right  and  never  give  up  the  hope  of  heaven.  Then  I 
would  realize  I  could  not  be  the  Christian  that  I  should  be  and 
have  such  thoughts  and  feelings,  wondering  if  everyone  I  met  were 
carrying  within  his  bosom  that  desperate,  wicked  heart  Jeremiah 
tells  us  of.  I  had  come  to  believe  from  experience  that  the  heart 
was  deceitful  above  all  things,  and  desperately  wicked.  Then  I 
asked  the  Lord  if  he  did  not  take  out  the  wicked  heart  of  stone 
and  give  a  heart  of  flesh,  and  I  would  have  to  believe  the  Lord. 
I  would  ask,  "Lord,  is  it  me,  and  not  the  people?"  I  could  not 
make  up  my  mind  that  those  who  thought  I  did  wrong  were  not 
Christians,  for  many  would  avoid  me,  and  then  scripture  would  come 
to  my  mind  faster  than  I  could  repeat  it— the  scripture  I  have 
already  written — showing  how  I  should  act  and  the  steps  I  should 
take.  Again  I  would  say:  "O  Lord!  there  is  something  wrong 
somewhere,  and  I  want  you  to  show  me.  I  must  not  be  in  the 
dark.  I  must  know  whether  the  wrong  lies  with  me  or  with  them." 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  343 

I  was  satisfied  I  was  right,  as  much  as  God's  word  is  right,  and  I 
could  not  doubt  his  word,  for  it  is  true,  though  every  man  be  a 
liar.  I  do  not  remember  the  time  I  ever  told  God  he  must  show 
me  before  I  knew  it.  I  would  say  aloud :  "Dear  Lord,  you  must 
show  me — you  must.  O  Lord,  forgive  me  for  demanding  of  you  as 
I  do."  While  searching  the  scripture,  before  I  knew  it  I  would  be 
speaking  these  words :  "Lord,  you  must."  He  tells  us  in  Prov.  2 14 : 
"If  thou  seekest  her  as  silver,  and  searchest  for  her  as  for  hidden 
treasures."  I  was  seeking  with  all  my  heart.  The  5th  verse  says : 
"Then  shalt  thou  understand  the  fear  of  the  Lord,  and  find  the 
knowledge  of  God."  I  told  the  Lord  I  would  never  stop  searching 
till  I  found  what  this  all  meant;  that  I  was  so  wrong  in  the  eyes 
of  all  but  two  or  three  in  the  city,  just  because  I  did  not  go  to 
the  trial.  And  even  those  could  not  understand  why  they  should 
feel  as  they  did,  for  they  could  not  help  believing  I  was  led  of  God, 
and  they  could  not  explain  why.  I  held  to  the  Spirit  to  lead  me  in 
the  scripture  as  a  drowning  man  would  hang  to  something  to  save 
his  life,  for  I  knew  I  could  never  do  another  day's  work  with  my 
thoughts  like  that  toward  everyone.  I  knew  the  thoughts  were  not 
good  when  I  imagined  they  had  evil  thoughts  concealed.  Prov. 
12:20:  "Deceit  is  in  the  hearts  of  them  that  imagine  evil."  And 
I  thought  they  all  imagined  evil  and  deceit  was  surely  in  their 
hearts.  I  said :  "Lord,  you  know  I  am  not  deceitful.  If  I  am, 
Lord,  I  am  worse  than  I  was  before  the  trial."  I  could  not  be  sat- 
isfied till  I  got  the  true  bible  light  on  the  difference  between  all  of 
these  Christians  before  and  after  the  trial.  I  always  thought  that 
passage  of  scripture  in  Luke  11:20  was  for  sinners,  but  in  the  nth 
verse  he  calls  them  sons.  They  had  to  be  born  of  God  in  order 
to  be  his  sons.  The  I3th  verse  only  proves.  It  was  four  weeks 
before  I  did  the  asking,  but  I  was  twelve  years  born  of  God  before 
I  lived  according  to  the  loth  verse;  I  mean,  to  seek  after  the  hidden 
treasures.  Oh,  how  I  did  ask,  and  seek,  and  knock  at  the  door 
where  the  Lord  had  hidden  the  treasures  that  would  give  us  under- 
standing in  all  things !  Even  the  mysteries  which  had  been  hid 
for  ages,  but  now  are  manifest  to  his  saints.  I  said:  "Lord,  who 
arc  the  saints?  If  you  have  things  hidden  that  you  will  not  mani- 
fest to  anyone  but  your  saints,  who  are  your  saints?  Lord,  I 
must  know."  And  then  I  started  to  search  the  word  of  God.  I 
searched  day  and  "night,  late  and  early,  and  only  one  place  could  I 
find  what  a  saint  is.  A  saint  is  one  who  is  sanctified  and  called  to 
be  a  saint.  You  will  find  that  in  I  Cor.  i  :2 :  "The  church  of  God 
which  is  at  Corinth,  to  them  that  are  sanctified  in  Christ  Jesus, 
called  to  be  saints,  with  all  that  in  every  place  call  upon  the  name 
of  Christ  Jesus  our  Lord."  Then  I  was  in  a  greater  puzzle  than 
ever.  I  found  the  saints  were  those  who  were  sanctified,  and  these 


344  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

were  the  worst,  both  in  the  trial  and  afterwards.  Then  the  word 
of  God  began  to  unfold  to  me  that  I  had  to  put  my  will  on  the  altar, 
through  obedience,  and  that  obedience  was  learned,  as  the  Son  of 
God  learned  it,  through  suffering.  (Heb.  5:8.)  We  are  not 
set  apart  from  disobedience  nor  separated  from  it  till  we  are 
willing  to  obey  as  Abraham  was,  though  it  costs  us  as  much  as  it 
did  him..  Then  the  Lord  showed  me  how  to  lay  my  will  on  the 
altar.  Though  I  had  suffered  much,  I  had  not  suffered  everything. 
One  may  ask  how  we  know  when  we  have  suffered  enough.  We 
can  know  we  have  suffered  everything  when  we  know  the  will 
is  on  the  altar,  and  when  the  will  is  there  you  will  know  it  the 
same  as  you  know  you  are  converted.  You  can  then  say:  "Well, 
I  have  complied  with  God's  word  and  1  know  I  am  converted. 
Howi  it  is  done  is  for  God  to  say,  but  we  know."  Now,  there  are 
some  who  think  they  are  converted,  but  when  they  come  to  see 
what  God's  word  says  about  it  they  find  they  are  not.  By  their 
own  experience  they  will  know  when  the  will  has  been  surrendered. 
It  does  not  take  long  to  know.  There  are  many  who  think  they  are 
sanctified  who,  if  they  would  study  up  their  case  thoroughly  in  the 
word  of  God  and  watch  their  own  lives,  as  well  as  pray,  would 
soon  know  they  are  not  sanctified.  I  laid  aside  hundreds  of  weights, 
and  at  every  one  I  laid  aside  I  rose  higher  and  higher,  till  at  last 
I  thought  I  had  laid  aside  all.  And  so  I  had,  of  the  body,  but  not 
of  the  spirit,  till  I  went  through  the  suffering  that  was  as  great 
as  Abraham's  suffering.  And  I  had  been  saying  I  was  sanctified 
before  I  was  obedient  in  the  Spirit!  He  showed  m!e  I  had  walked 
in  all  the  light  of  justification,  and  then  I  w!as  ready  to  begin 
walking  in  the  light  of  sanctification,  and  that  work  was  not  com- 
pleted till  I  learned  the  lesson  of  obedience  through  suffering.  God 
says  we  need  .to  suffer  awhile.  I  did  suffer  awhile,  and  then  he 
got  my  will,  and  by  his  grace  I  am  set  apart  from  disobedience, 
the  last  work  in  sanctification.  But  that  work  was  not  completed 
for  three  years  after  the  trouble  that  caused  me  to  suffer  so.  When 
I  began  to  realize  the  work  of  sanctification  was  completed,  then 
came  the  test  of  that  completed  work.  I  suffered  for  one  year, 
and  that  seemed  harder  to  bear  than  anything  I  had  ever  passed 
through.  The  second  week  in  January  I  got  the  victory,  so  T 
knew  I  had  proved  to  God  and  to  myself.  Surely  the  work  was 
complete,  and  as  far  as  is  shown  me  I  am  obeying  the  leading 
of  the  Spirit  completely,  and  know  T  am  doing  his  will.  I  made 
my  vows  to  him  to  obey  his  will  when  my  child  was  old  enough  to 
let  me  go,  and  for  eleven  -months  T  have  given  all  my  time  to  this 
book.  The  Lord  laid  it  o'n  my  heart  to  write  fourteen  years  ago. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  345 

Some  thought  I  was  writing  the  book  because  I  went  through  this 
trouble.  But  God  knows  better,  and  I  can  prove  by  hundreds  that  I 
decided  to  write  the  history  of  my  life  several  years  before  this 
trouble.  But  there  arc  those  who  can  see  an  evil  motive  in  every- 
thing one  does.  When  this  book  is  finished  I  am  ready  to  fulfill  the 
call,  for  I  know  God  called  me  four  weeks  after  my  conversion.  The 
work  of  sanctification  is  finished  and  God  has  tested  and  proved  me 
and  the  veil  was  taken  away  when  I  turned  to  the  Lord  almost 
twenty  years  ago.  This  is  the  first  veil,  spoken  of  in  II  Cor.  3:16. 
This  is  where  we  are  schooled  and  taught.  It  is  the  first  grade 
and  it  is  blessed,  but  he  will  not  let  us  go  any  farther  till  we  know 
how  to  live  and  attend  to  the  candlesticks  and  the  tables.  Now 
these  are  the  little  things  in  which  we  must  be  faithful  as  we  would 
be  in  big  things,  and  it  must  be  faithfulness  that  will  measure  up 
to  the  word  of  God  in  everything.  We  must  know  by  our  own  ex- 
perience what  the  shew-bread  means,  and  know  by  practice  what 
it  means  to  live  in  the  sanctuary  spoken  of  in  Heb.  9:2.  The 
way  into  the  holies  was  not  yet  made  manifest  while  these  first 
experiences  of  our  tabernacle  were  not  finished.  The  Holy  Ghost 
will  not  show  you  how  to  get  into  the  holies  till  you  have  proved 
yourself  in  the  first  veil.  Read  Heb.  9:8  and  see  what  means 
this  first  veil,  also  spoken  of  in  Corinthians.  Then  read  Heb.  9:3. 
There  must  be  a  first  or  there  could  not  be  a  second  veil.  Heb. 
9 13 :  "And  after  the  second  veil,  the  tabernacle ;"  which  means 
only  a  higher  experience,  which  tells  you  to  leave  the  principles 
of  the  doctrine  of  Christ  and  go  on  to  perfection.  (Heb.  6:1.) 
This  means  to  get  out  of  that  experience,  and  add  to  the  first  veil 
the  second  veil,  where  there  is  more.  Now,  let  us  see  how  much 
more  there  is  in  the  second  room,  behind  the  second  veil,  unto 
perfection  where  all  these  perfect  things  are,  Heb.  9:4:  "Which 
had  the  golden  censer,  and  the  ark  of  the  covenant  overlaid  round 
about  with  gold,  wherein  was  the  golden  pot  that  had  manna,  and 
Aaron's  rod  that  budded,  and  the  tables  of  the  covenant."  In  the 
first  veil  they  had  shew-bread,  and  in  the  second  veil  they  ate  manna. 
Some  may  ask  why.  In  the  first  room,  or  in  the  first  principles  of  the 
doctrine,  you  have  the  carnal  mind,  and  Paul  says  you  walk  as 
men.  not  spiritually.  You  must  learn  to  be  led  by  the  Spirit  in 
the  first  room,  and  then  he  will  lead  you  and  show  yon  the  second 
room.  Does  he  not  say  so  in  Heb.  9:8?  In  Heb.  6:1  the  Lord 
says :  "Let  us  go  on."  Where,  and  how  far,  shall  we  go  on,  and 
keep  going  on?  To  go  means  a  distance  or  time.  And  after  vou 
pro  on  you  come  to  what?  The  Lord  says  "unto  perfection."  Heb. 
6: TO:  "Which  hope  we  have  as  an  anchor  of  the  soul,  both  sure 


346  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

and  steadfast,  and  which  entereth  into  that  within  the  veil."  Now, 
this  is  what  helps  us  to  go  on.  It  means  something  to  get  there. 
It  means  much  to  get  where  God  would  have  you  before  you  can 
be  trusted  to  go  farther.  You  must  be  true  and  faithful,  so  much 
so  that  you  must  know  by  experience.  But  it  takes  time  to  have 
an  experience,  and  you  must  know  yourself  in  that  way,  for  there 
is  no  other  way.  And  God  must  know.  He  will  accept  no  way  but 
by  testing  you  as  he  did  Abraham.  It  was  then  he  acknowledged 
he  knew  Abraham  feared  him.  There  is  a  difference  between 
knowing  a  thing  and  being  told  you  know  it.  To  have  the  knowl- 
edge is  a  good  thing,  and  to  be  told  you  have  it  makes  it 
that  much  better.  You  might  know  by  every  act,  .look  and  feeling 
that  someone  loved  you,  tout  if  they  did  not  tell  you  so,  if  you 
also  loved  them,  it  would  not  do  you  so  much  good.  We 
must  go  through  experience  that  will  test  us  and  cause  us  as  much 
suffering  as  Abraham  endured,  and  when  we  do  God  will  tell  us, 
as  he  told  Abraham,  go  on  and  unto.  But  we  must  go  on  first, 
doing  all  the  Holy  Spirit  leads  us  to  do, -and  then  when  we  get 
unto  the  place,  as  Abraham  did,  God  will  let  us  see  as  he  let 
Abraham  see.  After  we  get  unto  the  place  we  will  have  more  to 
do  than  ever  God  called  him  to  do  in  all  his  life.  Then  he  knew 
what  it  meant  to  enter  "into  that  within  the  veil,"  spoken  of  in 
Heb.  6:19.  Heb.  10:19:  "Having  therefore,  brethren,  boldness 
to  enter  into  the  holiest  by  the  blood  of  Jesus."  What  does  having 
boldness  mean?  It  means  you  must  have  something  before  you 
get  into  the  holiest.  You  can  go  "on  and  unto,"  but  when  you 
get  where  you  can  go  in,  you  must  have  grace.  That  gives  you 
strength.  And  grace,  love,  faith  and  hope  are  gotten  no  way  but 
through  obedience.  You  may  know  you  have  this  boldness  when 
you  are  not  afraid.  Perfect  love  casts  out  fear.  You  do  not  fear 
to  suffer  anything  or  give  up  the  dearest  thing  in  the  world. 
Having  gone  through  the  real  test,  as  Abraham  did.  you  have  this 
boldness.  If  yon  have  it,  you  got  it  by  experience.  You  may  think 
you  have  it,  as  Peter  did  when  he  told  the  Lord  he  would  go  with 
him  unto  death.  But  when  the  time  came  for  him  to  go  he  went 
in  the  other  direction.  But  after  he  had  three  good  years  of  ex- 
perience, with  his  sleeves  rolled  up,  he  meant  business.  He  was 
with  the  Lord,  getting  lessons  every  day,  and  tests,  till  he  got  unto 
the  place.  Having  boldness,  he  was  ready  to  enter  into  the  holiest, 
by  the  blood  of  Christ.  How  often  the  word  tells  us  they  preached 
with  boldness !  But  they  did  not  do  this  till  they  got  into  obedience 
to  the  will  of  God  to  do  anything  the  Holy  Spirit  revealed  to 
them.  We  know  they  tarried  ten  days,  but  we  do  not  know  what 
all  they  had  to  do  in  those  ten  days  after  Christ  left  them,  before 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  347 

their  sanctification  was  complete,  or  till  they  were  in  a  condition  to 
go  into  the  holiest.  After  we  get  this  experience  we  must  heed 
the  word  spoken  in  Heb.  10:26:  "For  if  we  sin  wilfully  after  that 
we  have  received  the  knowledge  of  the  truth,  there  remaineth  no 
more  sacrifice  for  sins."  How  are  you  to  know  when  you  have 
received  the  knowledge  of  the  truth?  The  only  way  you  can  know 
is  when  you  do  anything,  or  even  think  a  thing,  the  word  of  God 
forbids.  To  have  this  knowledgs,  the  word  tells  you  in  Heb.  10:20. 
is  to  know  you  have  the  Spirit  to  help  you  study  the  word,  and 
to  be  familiar  with  every  subject  that  might  come  up  pertaining 
to  everyday  life.  To  receive  this  knowledge  does  not  mean  to 
have  simply  a  head  knowledge,  but  a  heart  knowledge,  which  you 
cannot  have  except  you  have  experienced  it  in  your  own  life.  That 
is  what  it  means  when  God  tells  us  we  must  be  partakers  of  this 
fruit  before  we  can  rightly  divine  the  word.  To  have  this  ex- 
perience and  then  sin  will  be  like  Esau,  Heb.  12:17:  "For  we  know 
how  that  afterward,  when  he  would  have  inherited  the  blessing, 
he  was  rejected:  for  he  found  no  place  of  repentance,  though  he 
sought  it  carefully  with  tears."  That  is  what  it  means  when  God 
says  in  another  part  of  the  scriptures  there  are  people  weeping 
their  way  who  are  enemies  of  the  cross.  They,  go  on  and  do  things 
and  continue  to  do  them  when  they  know  they  ought  not,  after 
God  has  given  them  the  knowledge.  After  awhile  there  comes 
some  kind  of  an  experience  into  our  lives  so  we  can  see  if  we  had 
lived  better  we  need  not  have  suffered  this  or  that,  and  then  we 
weep  and  would  repent.  Why?  Because  we  see  it  is  worse  for 
us,  not  that  we  feel  we  have  sinned  against  God.  We  are  shedding 
the  tears  or  seeking  to  repent  because  we  see  it  will  ibe  better  for  us. 
but  God  will  not  give  us  repentance. 

As  I  told  you,  there  were  people  testifying  to  sanctification  and 
at  the  same  time  trying  to  down  me,  because  I  was  going  to  God 
for  the  true  light  and  searching  the  word  as  for  some  hidden 
treasure.  I  saw  it  was  for  me  to  go  into  the  hidden  things  in 
God's  word,,  and  if  I  did  not,  then  I  must  even  backslide  after 
going  through  the  crucifixion.  I  thought  all  their  hearts  were 
black  and  all  their  thoughts  were  evil  and  lustful,  and  they  pro- 
fessed sanctification.  I  could  not  understand  it.  At  times  this 
feeling  would  come  to  me  so  strong  I  was  sure  it  would  overcome 
me  and  that  I  would  really  forsake,  or  stop  having  anything  to 
rlo  with,  the  human  race,  which  would  be  worse  for  me  than  to  go 
and  commune  with  the  dead.  I  knew  I  could  not  do  the  work 
the  Lord  wanted  me  to  do  feeling  like  this,  and  God  knew  it ;  and 
I  want  to  tell  you  the  devil  knew  it,  too,  and  he  was  doing  all 
he  could  do  to  get  me  to  stop  my  work.  If  he  could  not  stop 
me  any  other  way,  he  thought  he  could  present  the  people  to  me 


348  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

in  that  light  and  -accomplish  his  ends.  I  could  not  have  defeated 
him  if  I  had  not  known  how  to  meet  him  with  God's  word.  I 
knew  enough  of  God's  word  to  stand  in  the  trial,  but  little  did  I 
know  he  was  coming  to  me  as  he  did  after  the  trouble,  to  show 
me  as  he  did.  Oh,  how  well  do  I  know,  after  all  that,  I  would 
have  backslidden  if  I  had  not  told  God  I  would  not  stop  night  or 
day  till  he  showed  me  a  way  that  I  could  resist  the  devil,  and  keep 
me  from  doubting  the  sincerity  of  those  who  professed  the  name  of 
Christ.  How  the  devil  would  hold  up  before  me  the  sanctified ! 
I  have  tried  to  get  this  explanation  into  words,  that  you  may  see 
and  understand  what  it  means  to  be  sanctified.  It  is  not  a  com- 
plete work  till  we  are  tested  in  everything,  and  the  Lord  will 
test  us  only  as  we  get  the  strength  to  bear  it,  and  that  strength  is 
obtained  through  obedience. 

I  told  you  what  I  did  when  the  Spirit  tried  to  lead  my  niece 
and  myself  out  of  the  mission.  It  seemed  I  wanted  to  go,  but 
I  was  afraid  of  what  people  would  say.  How  plainly  I  can  now 
see  the  reason  I  had  this  suffering.  There  was  no  other  way  to 
get  me  settled  down  to  business  and  obedient  to  the  heavenly 
calling,  so  I  might  look  for  the  power  and  fire  and  the  abiding 
of  the  Holy  Ghost.  I  do  not  believe  it  will  be  long  till  God  can 
trust  me  with  ,this  gift.  As  I  searched  out  the  deep  things  of 
God  I  saw  where  I  was  in  my  experience,  and  I  could  see  where 
the  rest  were  in  their  experience.  The  Lord  wants  us  to  thoroughly 
understand  ourselves  first,  and  then  he  will  let  us  understand 
others.  I  could  see  they  had  not  stood  the  test  according  to  the 
word  of  God.  That  was  the  reason  they  acted  as  they  did  with 
me.  Then  it  was  revealed  to  me  what  a  saint  was,  as  I  have  already 
told  you.  After  these  believers  had  done  what  they  did  they  went 
back  into  the  state  of  justification.  I  have  wondered  if  they  had 
that.  But  they  seemed  to  hold  on  to  a  little  faith,  and  I  was 
satisfied  on  that  line.  No  wonder  the  Lord  said,  in  I  Cor.  6:5: 
"I  speak  to  your  shame.  Is  it  so,  that  there  is  not  a  wise  man 
among  you?  no,  not  one  that  shall  be  able  to  judge  between  his 
brethren?"  I  was  so  glad  the  Lord  showed  me  as  he  did,  for  God 
knows  I  did  not  want  to  have  those  thoughts,  thinking  that  every- 
one was  evil-minded.  When  I  could  see  the  truth  as  it  was  in 
Christ  Jesus,  through  the  Holy  Ghost  teaching  me,  I  began  to 
feel  myself  rising  above  that  graveyard  feeling.  When  I  coukl 
realize  what  the  meaning  of  saint  was  I  said:  "Is  it  possible  that 
after 'all  these  twelve  years  I  have  just  begun  to  get  on  the  first 
rung  of  the  ladder  of  the  saints  ?"  Now  my  cry  is :  "Lord,  help 
me  to  mount  the  ladder  of  the  saints."  Now  I  begin  to  feel  that 
I  have  boldness  to  go  on  to  perfection.  I  will  close  this  thought 
by  saying  the  first  essential  is  to  be  born  again;  second,  to  get 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  349 

the  Spirit,  and  then  begins  the  walk  in  justification.  It  will  not 
be  long,  if  you  walk  in  all  the  light,  till  the  work  of  sanctification 
will  begin,  and  if  you  continue  to  walk  in  that  light  the  work  will 
soon  be  completed.  After  that  comes  the  test  of  completeness. 
The  Lord  tested  and  proved  me  one  year.  He  begins  this  work  in 
us  by  his  Spirit,  and  he  is  able  to  finish  it.  "Are  ye  now  made 
perfect  by  the  flesh?  Have  we  suffered  so  many  things  in  vain?'' 
(Gal.  3:2,  3.)  Phil.  1:6:  "Being  confident  of  this  very  thing, 
that  he  which  hath  begun  a  good  work  in  you  will  perform  it  unto 
the  day  of  Jesus  Christ."  I  do  not  know  how  many  rungs  there 
are  to  this  ladder.  I  do  think  I  am  now  safe  in  saying  I  am  near 
the  place  where  I  could  begin  to  judge.  But  my  sight  is  not  keen 
enough  yet  spiritually  to  be  very  hasty  in  judging.  Yet  I  will 
give  you  these  two  verses,  I  Cor.  6:2,  3:  "Do  ye  not  know  that 
the  saints  shall  judge  the  world?  and  if  the  world  shall  be  judged 
by  you,  are  ye  unworthy  to  judge  the  smallest  matters?  Know  ye 
not  that  we  shall  judge  angels?  how  much  more,  things  that 
pertain  to  this  life?"  I  begin  to  think  that  I  can  do  a  little  on 
the  line  of  judging  the  small  matters.  After  the  Lord  has  shown 
me  the  spiritual  meaning  of  the  complete  work  of  sanctification, 
I  surely  can  begin  to  mount  the  experience  of  saints.  God  onlv 
knows  what  is  lacking  in  me  in  this  experience  as  a  saint.  The 
Holy  Ghost  will  reveal  as  I  obey.  Obedience  is  better  than  sac- 
rifice. The  Lord  has  revealed  these  three  subjects  very  plainly 
to  me.  Whether  I  have  made  it  plain  to  you  or  not,  it  is  plain 
to  me.  Paul  tells  us  that  earnestness  must  be  given  to  us  from 
God,  and  you  may  have  to  go  through  as  much  suffering  as  I  have 
before  the  eye  of  your  understanding  be  opened.  Here  is  where 
you  will  be  when  you  get  the  earnestness  of  the  Spirit  spoken  of 
in  II  Cor.  1:21,  22:  "Now  he  which  establisheth  us  with  you 
in  Christ,  and  hath  anointed  us,  is  God ;  who  hath  also  sealed  us, 
and  given  the  earnestness  of  the  Spirit  in  our  hearts."  Again  in 
the  5th  chapter,  5th  verse :  "Now  he  that  hath  wrought  us  for 
the  self-same  thing  is  God,  who  also  hath  given  unto  us  the 
earnestness  of  the  Spirit."  Oh,  the  earnestness  he  gives  me  to 
search  out  the  deep  things  of  God's  word  will  never  be  known 
till  we  meet  in  eternity.  He  showed  me  another  fact  I  did  not 
dream  of  seeing,  and  that  was  this :  there  is  only  one  thing  or 
one  sin  that  would  justify  anyone  in  churching  another.  Matt. 
18:15-17:  "Moreover,  if  thy  brother  shall  trespass  against  thee, 
go  and  tell  him  *his  fault  between  thee  and  him  alone:  if  he  shall 
hear  thee,  thou  hast  gained  thy  brother.  But  if  he  will  not  hear 
thee,  then  take  with  thee  one  or  two  more,  that  in  the  mouths  of  two 
or  three  witnesses  every  word  may  be  established.  And  if  he  shall 
neglect  to  hear  them,  tell  it  unto  the  church :  but  if  he  neglect  to 


350  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

hear  the  church,  let  him  be  unto  thee  as  an  heathen  man  and  a  pub- 
lican." This  is  the  only  passage  I  can  find  that  says  anything 
about  a  church  trial.  I  knew  I  could  not  come  under  this  scrip- 
ture, for  I  had  not  trespassed  against  them.  I  had  not  harmed  a 
hair  of  their  head,  and  I  knew  if  I  went  to  them  they  would  only 
contend  with  me,  because  I  was  after  all  the  "low  trash"  in  the 
city,  and  would  rebuke  me,  thinking  they  were  doing  the  will  of 
God.  We  cannot  please  God  and  man.  God  says,  "Woe  unto 
the  world  because  of  offenses !  for  it  must  need  be  that  offenses 
come;  but  woe  to  that  man  by  whom  the  offense  cometh!"  (Matt. 
18:7)  ;  but  for  us  not  to  get  offended^  because  persecution  arises 
for  the  word's  sake  (Mark  4:17).  This  kind  of  persecution  is  not 
trespassing.  This  was  the  work  I  had  done  for  God.  It  was  God's 
and  my  business;  not  between  brother  and  brother  or  against  sister 
or  brother.  Neither  did  this  passage  of  scripture  apply  to  my 
cause  (Matt.  5:23):  "Therefore,  if  thou  bring  , thy  gift  to  the 
altar,  and  there  rememberest  that  thy  brother  hath  aught  against 
thee."  How  could  you  remember  that  your  brother  or  sister  had 
aught  against  you  when  you  had  had  no  dealings  with  them?  We 
must  know  what  aught  means.  Could  anyone  have  aught  against 
me  for  doing  the  will  of  God?  Are  we  to  apologize,  or  take  back, 
or  stop  doing  what  we  know  is  to  the  glory  of  God  in  order  to 
keep  our  brother  or  sister  from  having  aught  against  us?  God  tells 
us  that  we  may  offend  all  in  many  things.  "If  any  man  offend  not 
in  word,  the  same  is  a  perfect  man,  and  able  also  to  bridle  the  whole 
body."  (James  3:2.)  I  knew,  though  I  had  offended  a  good  many, 
that  I  had  iiot  offended  any  in  word;  and  by  the  word  of  God  I 
was  able  to  -bridle  my  whole  body.  But  a  few  of  the  young  con- 
verts got  it  into  their  minds  that  I  was  not,  and  thought  they  were 
able  to  teach  me  how.  God  says  we  will  offend  many,  but  he  does 
not  tell  us  to  stultify  ourselves  in  order  to  avoid  giving  offense. 
There  is  a  difference  between  offending  and  trespassing,  and  between 
your  brother  having  aught  against  you  and  you  offending  many. 
God  says  we  cannot  please  him  and  the  world ;  so  trespassing  and 
aught  and  meddling  are  different  in  a  spiritual  sense.  Almost  all 
the  followers  of  Christ  h#d  something  against  him;  they  were 
offended  and  turned  back.  He  turned  to.  his  twelve  disciples  and 
said  to  them:  "Wilt  thou  go,  too?"  And  Peter  said,  "Lord,  where 
shall  we  go?  Thou  hast  the  word  of  eternal  life."  The  Lord  didn't 
go  and  make  it  all  right  with  them,  either;  he  was  tending  to  his 
own  business,  and  had  nothing  to  make  right.  Matt.  5 124  says : 
"First  be  reconciled  to  thy  brother,  and  then  come  and  offer  thy 
gift."  What !  to  be  reconciled  when  you  are  tending  to  your  own 
business?  I  would  not  know  what  to  say  if  I  did  go,  but  would  be 
like  the  sister  they  sent  to  me.  She  came,  but  did  not  say  anything 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  351 

about  what  she  was  sent  for.  She  knew  I  had  not  harmed  or 
wronged  any  one,  and  what  could  she  say?  She  reported  Lack  that 
>he  came  to  me,  but  that  was  all.  She  stopped  there,  and  did  not 
tell  them  she  did  not  deliver  her  message.  She  told  the  truth  as 
far  as  she  went.  This  is  the  foul  play  that  I  was  a  victim  of.  God 
knows  the  whole  thing  came  from  jealousy  and  envy.  It  was  not 
for  me  to  go  to  one  of  them  and  be  reconciled.  The  word  tells  us 
that  when  Stephen  was  stoned  he  saw  the  Son  of  Man  standing  at 
the  right  hand  of  God.  To  think  he  was  in  such  earnestness  that 
he  stood  up!  He  surely  had  the  same  earnest  care  for  me  when 
he  sent  this  message  of  scripture  to  me,  as  plainly  as  though 
he  had  brought  it  himself.  He  said,  "Did  not  I?"  and  it  was  as 
plain  as  if  he  had  been  standing  by  my  side.  When  that  passage 
of  scripture  came  I  felt  much  as  Peter  did  when  he  said :  "Let  us 
make  here  three  tabernacles ;  one  for  thee,  and  one  for  Moses,  and 
one  for  Elias."  I  felt  anything  else  but  vengeance  for  my  enemies. 
I  would  rather  have  gone  and  put  my  arms  around  them  and  loved 
them  into  heaven,  than  to  have  done  anything  that  would  have 
driven  them  away  farther  than  they  were  already.  The  Savior 
1  as  he  went  up  on  the  mount  above  Jerusalem  and  wept:  "Oh 
Jerusalem,  Jerusalem  *  *  *  how  oft  would  I  have  gathered  thy 
children  together  as  a  hen  gathereth  her  brood  under  her  wings, 
and  ye  would  not!"  So  did  I  feel  like  gathering  my  enemies;  and 
what  would  they  have  said  if  I  had?  They  said  everything  they 
could  because  I  was  good  to  my  enemies  after  they  repented.  Thank 
God,  it  was  from  the  heart,  and  I  could  love  them. 

CHAPTER  XXIII. 

I  HAVE  wondered  why  the  Savior  was  found  among  the  common 
people  and  talking  so  much  with  his  enemies.  Was  it  because  he 
could  not  go  in  society  and  among  the  rich?  The  only  answer 
I  can  give  to  this  is  that  he  knew  how  he  would  be  accused  and 
persecuted.  The  story  got  out  that  he  was  a  drunkard  and  a  glutton 
and  associated  with  what  people  these  days  call  "trash,"  like  Mary 
Magdalene,  who  was  running  around  town  in  all  the  low  dives  and 
with  the  seven  devils  in  her,  and  the  woman  with  the  five  husbands 
whom  he  was  talking  to  at  the  well.  Of  course  these  wealthy  people 
think  so  much  of  their  character  that  they  would  have  felt  degraded 
if  they  had  Jesus  in  the  house  when  he  associated  with  that  class 
of  people.  Probably  it  was  gossiped  about  in  the  neighborhood  and 
church  that  the  reason  he  stopped  with  Mary  and  Martha  was 
1  it-cause  there  were  two  nice  girls  there;  and  the  busybodies,  of 
course,  would  have  seen  that  something  was  wrong,  and  they  would 
say:  "I  was  there  the  other  day,  and  things  did  not  look  just  right. 


352  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

I  am  afraid  Mary  likes  him  too  well  for  her  own  good."  And:  "I 
was  at  the  house  the  other  day,  and  what  do  you  think  I  saw  ?  You 
can't  make  me  believe  everything  is  straight."  After  what  some 
of  the  women  said  about  me,  I  am  led  to  think  Mary  did  not  escape, 
either;  and  they  would  say:  "Don't  you  think  but  what  she  is  a 
woman  just  like  the  rest  of  us.  When  I  called  there  the  other  day 
I  found  ithem  in  a  room  alone.  Martha  was  out  in  the  kitchen 
getting  dinner,  and  Lazarus  was  not  at  home  yet,  and  there  sat 
Mary  as  close  to  him  as  possible,  and  you  know  what  a  man  is,  and 
we  ought  to  go  to  <a  preacher  about  it,  and  if  we  cannot  get  him 
to  believe  it  we  can  influence  his  wife  and  we  can  tell  her  things, 
and  she  will  say  as  we  do,  that  ,she  knows  what  a  woman  is,  and 
the  disposition  of  a  man,  and  it  never  will  do;  something  must  be 
done;  they  are  too  familiar.  She  was  sitting  on  the  floor  looking 
up  into  his  face  as  loving.  This  must  be  broken  up."  One  might 
ask  why  I  should  talk  as  if  he  was  a  man.  He  was  a  man.  Heb. 
2:17:  "Wherefore  in  all  things  it  behooved  him  to  be  made  like 
unto  his  brethren;  that  he  mjtght  be  a  merciful  and  faithful  High 
Priest."  If  he  was  like  his  own  brethren,  then  he  was  tempted  as 
they  were.  Heb.  4:15:  "But  was  in  all  points  tempted  like  as  we 
are,  yet  without  sin."  He  was  tempted,  and  we  have  no  reason  to 
doubt  but  what  he  was  talked  about.  We  know  they  did  marvel  at 
the  well  when  he  was  talking  to  the  woman  with  five  husbands,  and 
in  their  marveling  we  have  no  idea  what  they  said.  The  Jews 
noticed  how  he  loved  Mary  and  Martha  and  Lazarus,  and  we  have 
no  idea  what  their  evil  thoughts  were.  They  surely  were  talking. 
The  Lord  says  in  James  1 126 :  "If  any  man  among  you  seems  to  be 
religious,  and  bridleth  not  his  tongue,  but  deceiveth  his  own  heart, 
this  man's  religion  is  vain."  Do  you  know  the  people  of  God  do 
not  believe  that?  They  think  God  is  fooling  and  does  not  mean 
half  what  he  says.  If  they  did  believe  it,  they  would  bridle  their 
tongues ;  but  the  devil  has  got  them  deceived.  In  Eph.  5 14 
Paul  condemns  filthiness,  foolish  talking,  and  jesting.  The 
fifth  verse  says  they  are  unclean.  What  is  filthiness  but  unclean- 
ness?  If  anybody  should  be  churched,  it  surely  is  the  talkers,  for 
they  are  deceived  and  filthy.  I  have  heard  them  say,  "I  don't  talk 
about  any  one,"  and  at  the  same  time  they  will  say,  "Well,  I  just  tell 
you  this ;  I  don't  speak  about  it  to  every  one."  And  then :  "I  don't 
say  it  to  harm  them,  for  I  have  nothing  against  them.  I  just  heard 
it,  and  I  thought  I  would  tell  you."  Perhaps  you  do  not,  but  it  is 
the  harm  (people  make  of  what  you  say.  And  then  you  are  not 
bridling  your  tongue.  I  would  rather  try  to  get  the  toughest,  hard- 
ened sinner  in  the  world  right  than  a  class  of  people  who  are 
deceived,  especially  when  it  is  the  tongue  that  is  the  cause  of  their 
deception.  They  think  they  are  right,  and  they  are  going  at  such 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  353  . 

a  rapid  speed  that  they  will  not  stop  long  enough  to  reason  with 
you.  When  they  do,  they  think  you  mean  some  one  else;  and  they 
go  on  thinking  so  till  I  am  afraid  a  great  many  of  them  will  go  right 
on  and  be  on  the  very  brink  of  hell  before  they  realize  their  where- 
abouts— for  the  Lord  does  not  say  there  are  any  doors  to  hell. 
There  are  so  many  long-tongued,  deceived  Christians  that  it  looks 
like  hell  would  have  to  be  all  doors  if  they  all  got  in,  to  say  nothing 
about  the  sinners.  If  the  ministers  would  begin  to  give  letters  to 
the  black  sheep  of  their  flock  who  had  turned  black  from  talking 
too  much,  I  am  afraid  they  would  have  to  take  the  text  for  the 
next  year  from  this  passage  of  scripture:  "Many  be  called,  but  few 
chosen."  But  I  do  not  see  very  much  in  God's  word  about  putting 
people  out  of  the  church.  Matt.  13:47,  48:  "The  kingdom  of  heaven 
is  like  unto  a  net,  that  was  cast  into  the  sea,  and  gathered  of  every 
kind  [notice  the  two  words,  "every  kind"] :  which,  when  it  was  full, 
they  drew  to  shore,  and  sat  down,  and  gathered  the  good  into  ves- 
sels, but  cast  the  bad  away."  See  also  the  4Qth  verse.  The  angels 
do  the  separating;  the  fishermen  do  the  fishing.  After  the  net  is 
full,  then  the  angels  will  do  the  dividing.  The  leaders,  preachers 
and  workers  will  all  but  kill  themselves  to  get  people  into  the 
church.  They  are  not  satisfied  with  the  church  till  it  is  as  full  as 
the  fisherman's  net.  Let  one  of  the  fish  do  some  little  thing,  and 
then  the  other  fish  with  the  workers  will  work  harder  to  get  them 
out  than  they  did  to  get  them  in.  The  Lord  tells  us  the  angels  will 
do  the  separating,  not  man ;  and  if  we  see  any  walking  wrong,  not 
to  keep  company  with  them,  but  not  hold  them  as  enemies;  to  sep- 
arate ourselves  from  them,  that  they  may  be  ashamed.  Read  the 
parable  of  the  tares  and  the  wheat.  (Matt.  13:24-30.)  The  Lord 
forbade  them  to  try  to  separate  them,  as  they  would  do  more  harm 
than  good.  The  Lord  showed  me  the  light  on  this  scripture — what 
is  meant  by  advising  us  to  separate  ourselves.  It  means  we  are  not 
to  sanction  the  wrong-doing  of  brothers  or  sisters,  or  do  as  they  do. 
This  alone  causes  the  separation.  We  are  not  to  separate  ourselves 
by  kicking  them  out  of  the  church  or  talking  about  them,  because 
that  would  be  admonishing  them  as  enemies,  for  we  would  be  doing 
them  wrong.  I  said:  "Lord,  I  will  not  be  satisfied  till  you  reveal 
or  give  me  light  on  one  more  topic,"  and  I  prayed  and  searched  for 
the  truth  on  this  question,  but  I  did  not  get  hold  of  the  end  of  the 
thread  to  unravel  the  secret  till  I  was  studying  the  bible  one 
Friday  to  lead  the  bible 'study  at  the  Tabernacle.  I  have  already 
told  you  about  selling  the  gospel  tent,  for  the  work  was  too  hard 
and  the  people  wanted  me  in  the  mountains.  I  left  Sister  Worthiam 
in  charge  and  went.  The  Lord  plainly  showed  me  I  could  do  more 
good  and  with  less  labor.  When  I  got  ready  to  come  home  I  left 
three  different  appointments,  in  Perry  Park,  in  Frankstown?  and 

23 


354  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

at  the  Founder  school  house.  I  was  home  only  two  Sundays  in  a 
month.  I  went  up  Saturday  and  came  home  Monday.  This  was 
the  first  of  April,  and  with  all  of  this  work  I  did  not  think  of  join- 
ing any  church.  I  knew  the  Mission  did  not  want  me,  and  there 
were  several  in  the  Tabernacle  who  did  not  want  me  to  come  back. 
Because  Brother  Uzzell  would  call  on  me  to  pray,  some  would  say: 
"If  that  were  you  or  I  Brother  Uzzell  would  pay  no  attention  to 
us."  Oh,  what  was  this  but  the  evil  thoughts  of  carnal  minds.' 
Some  in  the  city  have  even  said :  "I  wonder  if  that  minister  really 
knows  what  kind  of  a  woman  she  is?  I  do  not  think  he  does.  If 
he  did,  he  would  have  nothing  to  do  with  her  after  all  that  has 
happened."  I  'had  fully  made  up  my  mind  not  to  go  to  any  one 
church ;  that  I  would  fill  my  appointments  in  the  mountains,  and 
when  in  Denver  would  go  wherever  I  took  a  notion.  I  thought  by 
so  doing  perhaps  I  could  keep  clear  of  envy  and  jealousy  and  all 
these  dislikes  that  come  up  in  the  church.  When  they  mistreated 
me  without  cause  (for  they  all  know  I  had  never  wronged  them), 
what  would  be  the  result  if  they  had  a  cause,  with  all  of  that  envy 
and  jealousy  in  their  hearts?  Even  mothers  in  the  church  did  not 
have  a  good  word  for  me.  I  do  not  know  what  they  are  going  to 
do  with  me  in  heaven,  for  I  know  my  name  has  been  written  in  the 
lamb's  book  of  life  for  twenty  years.  God  tells  us  if  we  are  not 
faithful  he  will  take  our  names  out  of  the  book  of  life,  but,  thank 
God,  I  know  my  own  heart.  I  am  faithful  to  him,  and  by  his  grace 
will  be  to  the  end. 

One  Friday  morning  at  2  o'clock  the  Holy  Ghost  woke  me  up, 
and  as  I  awoke  I  knew  the  Lord  was  there.  I  felt  his  presence  as 
plainly  as  I  ever  did  in  jmy  life.  I  sat  up  in  the  bed  and  asked  the 
Lord  what  he  wanted.  I  knew  he  wanted  to  reveal  something  to 
me,  and  as  I  sat  there  these  thoughts  came  to  me.  They  were  as 
plain  as  words:  "You  go  and  join  yourself  to  the  people  of  the 
Tabernacle."  I  was  not  dreaming  of  such  a  thing,  for  I  knew  how 
some  of  the  leaders  felt.  They  wanted  to  be  the  biggest  ducks  in 
the  puddle,  and  they  were  afraid  I  would  want  to  be  one,  too.  I 
did  not  like  the  idea  of  the  Spirit  coming  to  me  as  he  did,  because 
I  had  gotten  tired  of  coming  in  contact  with  such  envious  spirits. 
Though  these  people  were  civil  to  me,  I  could  feel  their  dislike.  The 
Lord  has  let  me  discern  the  different  spirits  in  people.  If  they  did 
not  have  a  warm  heart  for  me,  when  they  would  shake  hands  a 
cold,  icy,  damp  feeling  would  send  a  shudder  over  me  like  taking 
hold  of  an  eel  in  the  water.  Oh,  how  many  chilly  Christians  we 
have  in  the  church  today!  But  I  was  convinced  the  Lord  wanted 
me  to  go  to  the  Tabernacle,  and  when  I  said,  "Lord,  you  know 
how  they  feel  down  there,"  the  impression  only  came  with  greater 
force;  f'Go  join  yourself  to  these  people,"  Again  I  said:  "Lord, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  355 

how  can  I  ?"  Talk  about  humility  !  If  you  never  have  gone  through 
anything  like  this  you  don't  know  anything  about  it.  I  said : 
"Lord,  if  this  is  you,  let  this  glory  stay  with  me  till  morning  and 
while  I  am  doing  tip  my  work,  and  if  this  blessing  thus  abides  I  will 
know  it  is  you,  and  I  will  get  ready  and  go  over  to  Brother  Uzzell's 
and  tell  him  how  you  have  been  leading  me."  I  did  not  mind 
going  over  there,  but  it  was  some  of  the  people  (you  find  the  same 
kind  in  every  church)  I  hated  to  come  in  contact  with.  I  went, 
and  Brother  Uzzell  received  me  as  a  father.  He  was  kind  and 
welcomed  me  back,  though  he  may  have  thought  I  should  have 
-laved  in  his  church  when  I  was  there.  God  knows  I  never  would 
have  taken  my  letter,  but  some  one  wanted  to  show  their  authority, 
and  thought  they  were  doing  the  will  of  the  Lord,  I  suppose,  and 
-ent  it  to  me  anyway.  With  it  all  I  have  not  regretted  going  to  the 
Hay  market,  for  it  was  there  I  found  out  the  wickedness  of  th£ 
human  heart  among  the  higher  class  of  people,  among  the  smooth, 
quiet,  what  you  would  call  "ladies,"  very  refined  and  gentle  in  their 
appearance.  You  would  wonder  how  butter  could  melt  in  their 
mouth^:  they  were  the  oily  kind  the  bible  tells  us  of.  I  was  so 
noisy  and  rough  in  my  manners  that  it  jarred  on  their  nerves.  I 
do  not  think  we  have  any  quite  so  refined  in  the  Tabernacle,  and 
yet  I  have  seen  them  affected  because  of  my  noisy,  rude  way.  But 
I  have  been  rewarded  for  it  all.  Simply  by  suffering  I  got  an 
insight  into  the  scripture  and  a  pity  for  the  ones  who  did  not 
know  what  they  did.  Most  of  my  enemies  see  differently  now, 
•  specially  those  who  took  the  most  active  part. 

Brother  Uzzell  took  my  name,  my  daughter's  and  Jennie's,  and 
the  first  communion  Sunday  we  were  taken  in  on  faith.  There 
were  no  objections.  If  there  had  been  any  I  could  not  have  given 
any  satisfaction  concerning  the  whereabouts  of  my  church  letter, 
for  I  never  saw  it  or  had  it  in  my  possession.  In  fact,  the  church 
treated  me  as  they  pleased  and  asked  me  no  questions;  none  of  the 
leaders  would  talk  to  me  about  it.  Not  one  came  to  me  in  regard 
to  the  trouble.  They  just  put  me  out.  When  it  was  told  them 
that  my  enemies  had  been  to  me,  some  of  the  leaders  said :  "We 
have  enough  against  her  without  the  principal  witnesses."  I  am 
willing  to  stand  with  all  of  them  at  the  bar  of  God.  As  David  said. 
I  am  willing  to  fall  into  the  hands  of  God,  but  not  into  the  hands 
of  my  enemies  or  church  members.  (II  Sam.  24:14.)  Just  try  to 
understand  my  condition.  Can  you  realize  even  in  a  slight  degree 
how  I  felt  as  I  stood  in  the  church*  that  .Sunday  morning,  with 
my  brothers  and  sisters  in  Christ  and  with  those  who  believed  me 
to  be  a  bad  woman,  -and  that  I  had  been  using  religion  for  a 
cloak?  I  had  hoped  the  trouble  was  now  all  over,  but  my  soul 
struggled  under  the  great  anguish  of  the  fact  that  I  had  more  to 


356  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

contend  with  now  than  I  ever  had  before.  Mr.  Peterson  did,  not 
want  me  to  go  back  to  the  Tabernacle,  because  they  had  sent  us  our 
letters.  He  would  say  they  were  all  of  the  devil.  Even  if  they 
were  they  should  have  shown  mercy  for  the  name  they  bore, 
because  of  what  God  says.  James  2:13:  "For  he  shall  have 
judgment  without  mercy  that  hath  shewed  no  mercy;  and  mercy 
rejoiceth  against  judgment."  I  am  so  glad  God  never  called  me 
to  judge  the  least  thing;  but  he  has  led  me  to  show  mercy  till  I  do 
believe  it  has  numbered  seventy  times  seventy.  Often  I  thought  I 
could  not  show  mercy  another  time ;  but,  thank  God,  by  experience 
I  have  the  personal  knowledge  that  mercy  does  rejoice  againsi 
judgment.  If  you  want  joy,  show  mercy  to  those  who  scorn  you 
and  jeer  at  you.  Perhaps  you  don't  think  it  took  grace,  and  love, 
and  patience,  to  show  mercy  and  to  have  the  spirit  of  humility. 

I  had  been  a  member  of  the  Tabernacle  but  two  weeks  when 
Sister  Fischer  asked  me  to  take  the  jail  work.  The  meetings  were 
grand ;  hardly  a  Sunday  without  several  conversions,  and  almost 
every  hand  up  for  prayers.  We  held  the  meetings  at  2  o'clock  in 
the  afternoon.  I  taught  a  Sunday  school  class  of  girls  in  the 
Tabernacle  from  12  to  i  o'clock.  After  the  jail  meeting  I  went 
to  the  Olive  Branch  and  taught  a  class  of  boys,  with  from  twenty- 
five  to  thirty  in  the  class.  I  had  so  much  to  do  that  I  gave  up  my 
appointments  in  the  mountains.  I  took  up  the  Friday  night  meet- 
ing, and  five  or  six  of  us  went  out  to  Fort  Logan,  ten  miles  from 
Denver,  and  held  meetings  for  the  benefit  of  the  soldiers.  Several 
of  us  went  out  on  our  wheels.  The  Lord  wonderfully  blessed  our 
sacrifice  and  labor.  In  riding  my  (wheel  so  much  I  injured  my 
broken  limb  some  way.  I  gave  lip  the  wheel  and  went  to  the 
Fort  on  the  train,  but  my  limb  and  hip  kept  getting  worse  till  I 
gave  up  the  work  at  the  Fort.  My  limb  became  serious,  and  I 
wondered  if  after  all  these  years  it  would  have  to  be  amputated. 
I  got  in  earnest  asking  God  about  it ;  and  while  reading  the  bible 
this  passage  of  scripture  impressed  me  so  that  I  knew  the  Holy 
Ghost  had  quickened  the  verse  to  me  for  some  purpose  or  I  could 
not  be  affected  as  I  was.  The  Spirit  seemed  to  fill  my  heart  as  I 
read  it,  and  I  reread  it  several  times  and  it  would  have  the  same 
effect.  Though  I  had  read  it  before  it  never  seemed  so  powerful, 
nor  did  the  words  have  the  same  meaning  as  at  this  time.  This  was 
the  verse  (I  Cor.  9:9)  :  "For  it  is  written  in  the  law  of  Moses, 
Thou  shalt  not  muzzle  the  mouth  of  the  ox  ^that  treadeth  out  the 
corn."  Again,  in  I  Tim.  -5:18:  "For  the  scripture  saith,  Thou 
shalt  not  muzzle  the  OK  that  treadeth  out  the  corn.  And,  The 
laborer  is  worthy  of  his  reward."  I  said :  "Lord,  you  know  I  am 
not  afraid  of  the  reward,  if  I  start  out  to  preach."  That  was  not 
why  this  scripture  bothered  mie,  for  I  knew  what  I  could  do  when 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  357 

I  got  away  from  home.  It  was  the  "muzzle"  that  impressed  me — 
how  I  was  hindered.  But  I  asked  God  to  bear  with  me  a  little 
longer,  till  my  daughter  was  a  few  years  older,  and  I  would  go 
and  fulfill  my  calling.  I  said:  "Lord,  you  know  I  told  you  that 
years  ago,  and  she  is  not  old  enough  yet,  and  why  do  you  bother 
me  with  this?"  I  knew  she  was  the  "muzzle,"  and  I  did  want  to 
stay  a  little  longer.  However,  the  Holy  Ghost  brought  this  scrip- 
ture to  me  with  .such  conviction  that  I  thought  the  Lord  wouLl 
not  let  me  stay  at  home  any  longer.  II  Tim.  2:4:  "No  man 
that  \\arreth  entangleth  himself  with  the  affairs  of  this  life;  that 
he  may  please  him  who  hath  chosen  him  to  be  a  soldier."  I  began 
to  think  the  Lord  was  going  to  permit  my  limb  to  be  taken  off  so 
that  I  could  not  walk  and  tend  to  my  household  duties,  and  then  I 
could  talk  for  him ;  and  I  plead  with  him  to  bear  with  me  a  little 
longer  and  heal  my  limb  and  I  would  go  without  fail.  I  thought 
it  a  strange  thing  that  I  couldn't  obey  God  when  he  led  me  so 
plainly,  without  being  punished  so.  You  may  think  it  strange 
that  I  speak  as  I  do,  but  I  know  better  than  any  one  in  this 
world  what  the  Lord  requires  of  me.  I  knew  he  was  dealing 
with  me  for  something  and  he  meant  that  I  should  understand 
him.  So  I  got  down  to  business  and  found  out  his  will — that  I 
must  not  put  off  this  another  day.  I  cannot  forget  the  morning 
that  I  got  up  with  the  determined  will  to  know.  The  Lord 
showed  me  what  he  wanted  me  to  do.  After  I  got  my  work 
done  up  and  Ruby  had  gone  to  school  I  was  all  alone ;  I  got  the 
family  bible  and  opened  it  on  the  kitchen  table  (I  got  that 
because  it  was  large  print),  and  read  these  two  verses  that  had 
already  been  ringing  in  my  ears  for  six  weeks.  And  what  do  you 
think  came  to  me?  I  do  not  know  whether  you  ever  had  thoughts 
come  to  you  which  impressed  you  as  if  someone  were  speaking 
to  you  or  not.  If  you  have  you  know  what  I  mean ;  and  if  you 
have  not,  you  are  not  led  by  the  Spirit.  Let  me  tell  you  not  to 
stop  till  you  have  this  experience.  Just  eight  years  ago  this  morn- 
ing the  Holy  Spirit  brought  this  to  me  so  plainly:  "You  stop 
everything — leading  -meetings,  visiting  the  sick,  and  everything." 
I  said:  "Lord,  what  do  you  want  me  to  do?"  And  again,  just 
as  plainly:  "Stop  all  and  study  my  word."  I  was  more  sur- 
prised than  ever.  I  had  been  studying  the  bible  all  the  time,  for 
I  was  giving  bible  lessons  every  Friday  evening,  and  I  did  not 
study  or  read  anything  but  the  bible.  I  did  not  have  time  to 
look  at  the  paper  ten  minutes  in  the  whole  year.  This  was  in  my 
second  year  in  the  Tabernacle.  Then  I  said:  "I  will  stop  so 
much  running  around  and  just  tend  to  the  Sunday  school  and  jail, 
and  the  rest  of  the  time  I  will  give  to  the  study  of  the  word."  I 
put  the  shawl  over  my  head  and  went  to  the  drug  store  and  got  a 


.^  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

box  of  different  colored  pencils  to  mark  the  different  subjects  the 
Holy  Spirit  showed  to  me.  I  never  felt  the  Holy  Spirit  with 
such  power  to  lead  me  into  the  truth  as  I  did  that  morning  while 
sharpening  the  pencils,  and  I  felt  my  mind  so  clear  to  understand 
the  truth.  My  expectations  were  bright  in  seeing  the  truth  as  I 
had  never  seen  it  before.  This  was  the  third  day  of  February,  at 
8  o'clock  in  the  morning.  I  was  already  settled  to  my  study  when 
there  was  a  rap  at  the  door.  If  I  had  known  then  what  I  know  now 
I  never  would  have  opened  the  door.  But  there  I  was  again  not 
obeying  the  Spirit.  It  took  me  three  years  to  learn  how  to  obey  after 
I  gave  my  will.  I  said  I  never  would  say  no  to  the  Spirit  again, 
but  what  a  sad  failure  I  did  make  of  obeying  him !  I  said :  "Lord, 
you  know  I  am  going  to  study  your  word,  as  I  promised;"  but  I 
was  too  much  like  Moses  (Ex.  18:17,  18)  when  his  father-in-law 
told  him  the  things  he  was  doing  were  not  good,  for  they  were 
too  heavy  for  him ;  he  would  wear  out,  and  that  he  was  not  able 
to  do  it  himself  alone.  I  learned  afterward  it  was  not  good  for 
me  that  I  had  taken  the  Olive  Branch  mission ;  I  found  it  was 
too  much  for  my  strength.  But  my  visitor  insisted  and  would  not 
take  no  for  an  answer.  I  said :  "Brother  J — -,  you  know  there  is 
not  a  dollar  to  start  with.  If  we  had  a  hundred  or  two  to  get  the 
mission  started  good  we  might  do  something."  I  told  them  the 
way  the  Lord  had  been  leading  me  all  the  morning,  and  I  did  not 
believe  he  wanted  me  to  take  the  Olive  Branch  work;  that  I  was 
not  able  to  burden  myself  again  as  I  had  been  doing.  But  nothing 
would  do  but  that  I  must  take  it ;  they  would  stand  by  me,  and  I 
should  have  nothing  to  do  br.t  lead  the  meetings  and  help  a  little 
with  the  provision  part  of  the  work.  I  was  finally  persuaded  to 
take  it,  but  I  did  not  give  up  the  study  of  the  word,  nor  the  jail 
meetings,  nor  the  Sunday  school.  I  knew  the  Lord  was  not  pleased 
with  my  going  over  there,  but  I  attended  the  meetings  for  six 
months.  We  did  a  great  deal  of  good,  and  again  I  learned  another 
lesson  of  how  little  we  can  trust  flesh.  They  all  wanted  to  run 
me  and  have  me  do  the  work.  They  allowed  I  was  smart  enough 
to  preach,  but  did  not  have  one  bit  of  sense  to  do  anything  out- 
side of  that,  not  to  attend  to  my  own  house  or  business.  They 
wanted  to  dictate  as  to  whom  I  should  have  at  the  house  and  whom 
I  should  not.  But  we  reached  the  conclusion  that  if  everyone 
attended  to  his  own  business,  we  would  get  along  all  right,  so 
we  all  started  in  on  this  basis.  I  let  the  janitor  tend  to  cleaning 
the  mission,  which  he  did  without  money  or  price.  He  had  a 
good  heart  or  he  would  not  have  done  it.  I  was  tending  to  my 
part  of  the  work,  not  saying  a  word  to  the  ones  that  were  tend- 
ing to  the  clothing  or  providing  the  organist,  but  letting  every  one 
do  as  they  thought  best.  I  went  over  there  to  tend  to  my  own 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  359 

business  and  not  someone's  else.  We  got  along  a  little  over  two 
months  and  were  having  good  street  meetings,  when  the  devil 
stepped  in.  Of  course  he  had  to  have  something  to  do  and  he 
knew  he  could  not  do  anything  (with  a  sinner,  so  he  used  a 
Christian.  He  started  one  looking  at  another  whom  he  did  not 
like,  and  contentions  soon  broke  out.  They  would  come  to  me, 
and  I  did  not  want  to  show  partiality  to  any  of  them.  I  wanted 
to  treat  them  all  alike.  I  could  not  see  but  what  one  was  as  good 
as  another.  Then  they  got  angry  because  I  would  do  for  the  jail 
boys.  I  was  helping  three  or  four  at  this  time.  I  heard  the  same 
old  thing — "Sister  Peterson  has  too  many  hoboes  around  her,"  as 
though  that  was  any  of  their  business !  I  knew  I  had  as  much 
right  to  give  the  food  to  whom*  I  wished  as  they  had  to  give  the 
clothing  to  whom  they  wished.  The  organist  got  angry  because  I 
was  helping  a  woman  he  did  not  like,  and  he  would  not  play  the 
organ  with  the  woman  helping  us  as  a  worker.  I  knew  she  would 
get  off  the  track  sometimes  and  do  things  that  were  not  becoming. 
This  is  the  way  I  got  it  on  every  side,  and  what  could  I  do  with 
a  set  of  workers  like  that?  This  one  didn't  like  that  one,  and 
they  were  looking  at  one  another's  faults,  when  God  tells  us 
to  be  of  the  same  mind  one  toward  another;  mind  not  high 
things,  but  condescend  to  men  of  low  estate;  be  not  wise  in  your 
own  conceits.  (Rom.  12:16.)  They  were  all  wiser  than  I  and 
could  tell  me  what  to  do,  when  not  one  of  them  had  had  half  the 
experience  that  I  had  and  none  of  them  knew  much  about  the 
bible.  I  had  around  me  the  class  this  sixteenth  verse  told  me  to 
have,  men  and  women  of  low  estate,  as  Jesus  had  around  him  the 
publicans  and  sinners.  In  the  same  verse  the  Lord  tells  us  to 
be  in  the  same  mind,  and  I  could  not  get  one  in  all  the  workers 
to  be  of  the  same  mind  with  :me.  It  is  no  wonder  God  did  not 
want  me  to  take  the  work  in  the  first  place.  I  thought  they 
would  keep  the  promises  they  made,  but  there  they  were  dictating, 
and  not  one  of  them  any  higher  in  their  experience  than  justifi- 
cation. They  could  not  come  and  take  my  place  in  leading  the 
meeting,  but  they  could  tell  me  how  to  fill  the  place.  This  went 
on  for  a  while,  and  then  I  was  left  without  a  wagon  to  take  the 
organ  out  for  the  street  meeting,  and  without  a  wagon  to  get  the 
meat  and  vegetables  that  we  had  gathered  two  or  three  times  a 
week,  and  then  the  organist  would  not  play  because  I  would  not 
give  this  sister  up.  This  is  the  way  they  helped  and  stood  by  me. 
I  got  another  wagon,  and  Sister  Lee  assisted  me  in  this  work 
for  one  year  after  this.  She  did  not  claim  to  be  a  Christian  or  a 
worker  for  the  Lord,  but  she  was  more  help  to  me  than  all  the 
rest  of  the  workers  put  together.  One  evening  'I  was  to  have 
prayer  meeting  in  the  mission,  and  I  knew  there  would  not  be 


360  THE     LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

many  there,  as  they  had  some  entertainment  in  the  Tabernacle 
that  evening.  I  went  over  to  the  mission,  but  there  were  only 
three  of  us.  We  staid  till  after  10  o'clock,  and  there  and  then  I 
decided  my  work  was  finished  there.  I  was  told  by  them  that 
they  talked  about  me  being  over  there  as  a  leader  when  I  had 
been  thrown  out  of  the  mission.  I  knew  who  the  parties  were 
who  possessed  that  kind  of  a  spirit.  They  even  brought  up  the 
cigarette  picture,  and  said  that  the  one  who  started  that  story 
told  one  of  the  most  reliable,  truthful  members  of  the  Tabernacle 
that  it  was  me  taken  in  that  way.  I  bade  the  place  good-bye, 
and  never  have  been  iback  but  once  since,  and  felt  the  Lord  did 
not  want  me  there  then.  I  tell  thie  story  and  experience  to  show 
you  what  half  of  the  workers  are  made  up  of — not  fit  to  help 
"  themselves,  to  say  nothing  of  any  one  else.  As  I  went  home  thai: 
evening  I  said :  "Lord,  I  will  soon  learn  to  do  nothing  but  what 
you  tell  me  to  do."  It  was  another  lesson  to  teach  me  obedience. 
We  know  too  well  that  this  is  the  condition  of  most  all  the  Chris- 
tian workers  and  was  at  Paul's  time.  I  Cor.  3:1:  "And  I, 
brethren,  could  not  speak  unto  you,  as  unto  spiritual,  but  as  unto 
carnal,  even  as  unto  'babes  in  Christ."  Third  verse:  "For  ye  are 
yet  carnal ;  for  whereas  there  is  among  you  envying,  and  strife, 
and  divisions,  are  ye  not  carnal,  and  walk  as  men?"  Dear  reader, 
are  you  so  blind  as  you  read  this  that  you  cannot  see  the  condi- 
tion of  nearly  all  the  workers  today?  E)o  you  know  if  I  had  told 
them  they  were  babies,  that  they  were  thinking,  seeing  and  talking 
as  men  of  the  world  and  had  nothing  but  carnal  minds,  and  that 
they  were  living  in  enmity  to  God — that  they  would  have  been 
real  angry  at  me,  for  they  thought  they  knew  everything.  (Rom. 
8:7.)  They  will  not  let  one  tell  them  the  truth.  I  would  rather 
have  men  and  women  who  do  not  think  themselves  better  than 
others.  I  do  not  care  how  low,  they  could  not  be  worse  than  this 
class  who  think  themselves  superior.  God  tells  us  if  we  think  we 
are  something  when  we  are  nothing  that  we  deceive  ourselves. 
What  jdo  we  do  Ibut  get  into  the  seat  of  the  Pharisees  when  we 
say  we  are  glad  that  we  are  not  like  that  woman  or  that  man,  the 
publican — those  who  are  such  "trash,"  or  "jail  birds,"  or  "hoboes?" 
They  used  to  call  this  kind  of  people  publicans  and  sinners,  and 
made  the  same  distinction  in  the  classes  then  as  they  do  today. 
You  know  God  tells  us  if  our  religion  does  not  exceed  the  religion 
of  the  scribe  and  the  Pharisee  we  shall  in  no  (wise  enter  into  the 
kingdom  of  heaven,  and  I*  warn  you  as  Paul  warned  the  church 
in  his  day.  You  may  say,  "I  do  not  consider  myself  as  being  in 
this  category."  Then,  my  brother,  why  do  you  find  fault  with 
others,  either  the  high  or  the  low?  You  are  only  sitting  in  the 
seat  of  the  scornful,  and  when  you  sit  in  that  seat  you  are  stand- 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  361 

ing  in  the  way  of  sinners.  Are  you  so  blind  that  you  cannot  see 
that  you  are  doing  exactly  what  the  Pharisee  did,  whether  you 
call  yourself  one  or  not?  God  sees  it.  If  you  do  what  the  hypo- 
crite does,  be  careful  that  you  do  not  get  the  hypocrite's  reward, 
which  is  the  damnation  of  hell.  (Matt.  23:33.)  You  can  tell 
whether  you  are  right  or  not,  for  you  will  say  in  your  testimony, 
"I  do  things  that  I  ought  not."  Then  why  are  you  so  against 

•ne  else  who  is  not  doing  right?  Are  you  not  acting  as  did 
those  whom  Christ  called  hypocrites?  This  additional  experience 
caused  me  to  be  more  determined  to  know  about  God's  word,  that  I 
might  be  able  to  teach  the  children  of  God  who  had  the  carnal 
mind  that  I  had  suffered  so  much  from  and  that  had  caused  me 
to  have  this  grave-yard  feeling  so  much. 

In  the  first  prayer  meeting  I  attended  in  the  Tabernacle  after 
1  left  the  Haymarket  Mission  the  leader  took  the  lesson  from 
the  story  of  the  woman  who  was  caught  in  the  act  of  adultery. 
I  knew  the  lesson  was  taken  for  my  benefit.  The  Lord  showed 
me  by  his  Spirit  the  very  thoughts  of  every  one,  and  you  can 
imagine  the  rest.  I  did  not  say  anything,  but  a  year  afterward 
the  leader  of  that  meeting  spoke  to  me  about  it,  and  said  he 
never  felt  so  condemned  as  when  reading  the  lesson.  It  takes 
like  these  to  bring  about  the  spirit  of  humility.  We  never 
know  till  we  have  to  humble  ourselves  under  some  similar  experi- 
ence. I  never  knew  till  the  past  five  years  what  the  word  humil- 
ity meant  or  the  word  humble.  This  is  what  it  means  to  follow 
in  the  footseps  of  our  Master,  to  humble  ourselves  and  walk 
in  the  spirit  of  humility  as  he  did.  I  have  often  wondered  if 
Moses  ever  went  through  any  more  of  a  humiliating  experience, 
or  even  Paul  when  he  said  he  was  serving  the  Lord  with  all 
humility  of  mind  and  with  many  tears  and  temptations  which 
befell  him  by  the  laying  in  wait  of  those  who  envied  him.  (Acts 
20:19.)  Prov.  16:19  tells  us:  "Better  is  it  to  be  of  an  humble 
spirit  with  the  lowly,  than  to  divide  the  spoils  with  the  proud." 
Thank  God,  I  have  found  it  so.  It  is  not  humility  or  humble- 

tb  bear  something  or  suffer  something  you  can  not  avoid. 
That  would  bring  pride,  but  not  humility.  I  tell  you  where  the 
humble  heart  comes  in.  When  you  have  it  in  your  power  to 
avenge — when  you  have  means  and  the  law  is  on  your  side — 
and  you  forbear  doing  so.  It  is  then  you  really  humble  yourself, 
by  bearing  your  wrongs  in  silence.  If  you  do  not  know  what 
this  verse  means  by  your  own  experience,  you  do  know  that 
Jesus  did  not  have  to  suffer,  for  we  must  acknowledge  he  had 
the  power.  Phil.  2:8:  "Being  found  in  fashion  as  a  man,  he 
humbled  himself,  and  became  obedient  unto  death,  even  the  death 
of  the  cross."  If  we  follow  him  in  humility  we  may  suffer  sim- 


362  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

ilar  things,  though  it  lies  in  our  power,  as  it  did  in  his,  to  avenge 
ourselves.  A  good  many  know  this  to  be  true  as  they  read  this 
book.  They  know  that  I  did  not  have  to  suffer  this  experience  of 
humility.  Did  I  not  have  my  own  free  will  not  to  go  to  the 
Tabernacle?  Did  I  not  have  my  own  free  will  not  to  lead  meet- 
ings, so  the  people  would  not  get  a  chance  to  serve  me  as  they 
did?  There  was  hardly  a  time  that  Brother  Uzzell  called  on  me 
to  pray  that  two  or  three  were  not  making  light  of  me  and  telling 
the  one  that  sat  next  to  them  what  they  had  heard.  I  will  tell 
you  of  one  instance,  and  could  cite  many  more,  but  will  not  take 
the  time.  This  evening  I  speak  of  I  was  leading  the  prayer 
meeting  in  the  front  room.  My  daughter  went  into  the  main 
part  of  the  building  and  took  her  seat  in  front;  sitting  behind  her 
were  a  man  and  his  wife,  members  of  the  Tabernacle.  My 
daughter  had  not  sat  long  till  this  man  said  to  his  wife:  "That 
is  old  Mrs.  Peterson.  I  would  as  soon  be  in  a  barn  with  an  old 
bawling  cow  as  to  be  where  I  can  hear  that  big-mouthed  thing." 
At  that  my  daughter  turned  in  her  seat  and  said:  "Do  you  know 
that  is  my  jmamma?"  He  did  not  know  her,  and  when  she 
informed  him  of  that  fact  he  seemed  more  than  surprised.  When 
he  meets  me  now  he  will  drop  his  head  and  look  off  in  another 
direction.  More  than  this  one  will  drop  their  heads  when  we 
meet  face  to  face  at  the  bar  of  God.  He  was  worshiping  God  as 
he  pleased.  Do  you  know  there,  are  both  men  and  'women  working 
for  the  Lord  that  wanted  to  stop  me  from  worshiping  God  accord- 
ing to  the  dictates  of  my  own  conscience?  It  never  came  to  me 
to  take  exceptions  to  the  way  any  one  worshiped  God.  I  wonder 
what  kind  of  a  heart  one  has  that  feels  toward  me  as  that  brother 
felt.  That  same  evening  there  was  more  said,  but  I  did  not  hear 
of  it  till  the  next  morning  about  10  o'clock.  Sister  W — ,  a  mem- 
ber of  the  Tabernacle,  called,  and  we  had  not  talked  long  till  she 
said :  "I  almost  had  a  fight  last  night ;  at  least,  it  was  sharp 
words  with  a  stranger  who  was  talking  to  a  woman  by  his  side. 
As  Brother  Uzzell  called  on  you  to  pray  at  the  close  of  the  sermon, 
the  man  said  to  this  lady:  'I  know  that  woman.  It  is  that  Mrs. 
Peterson  that  was  put  out  of  the  Haymarket.  She  does  not 
amount  to  anything.' "  Sister  W —  resented  this,  and  they  had  a 
few  words.  She  described  him,  but  he  was  a  stranger  to  me.  I 
paid  no  attention.  Still,  as  did  Paul,  with  tears  I  humbled  myself, 
and  said:  "Lord,  you  know  it  is  you  that  I  must  stand  before, 
and  not  man."  Almost  every  time  I  prayed  at  the  close  of  a 
sermon  I  knew  there  would  be  someone  to  make  a  hateful  remark. 
I  wonder  if  hell  does  not  consist  of  evil  tongues — if  that  is  not 
what  makes  it  a  hell.  The  evil  thoughts  and  tongues  would  make 
it  a  hell  for  me,  even  if  there  was  nothing  else  there  but  words  to 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  363 

hurt  one's  feelings.  I  know  I  would  not  want  any  worse  hell,  and 
by  the  grace  of  God  I  want  to  escape  such  a  place.  Let  us  live 
in  the  gentleness  and  meekness  of  Christ.  (II  Cor.  10:1.)  Paul 
teh-  u-  we  must  have  the  mind  of  Christ.  The  only  thing  for  us 
to  do«  is  to  live  the  word,  and  we  must  humble  ourselves.  Matt. 
33:12:  "And  whosoever  shall  exalt  himself,  shall  be  abased;  and 
he  that  shall  humble  himself,  shall  be  exalted."  Now  this  was 
one4  of  the  be>i  ways  to  bring  humility  and  to  humble  me,  for  I 
know  there  are  a  good  many  who  think  I  am  using  religion  as  a 
cloak.  Those  who  have  confidence  in  me  do  not  know  what  to 
think,  for  the  way  I  have  been  treated  is  so  different  from  what 
the  people  of  God  are  accustomed  to  doing.  My  detractors  will 
defend  themselves  in  some  way.  They  will  not  suffer,  or  bear 
rebuke  or  reproach  at  home,  in  the  church,  or  anywhere.  I  Pet. 
"Likewi -e.  \e  younger,  submit  yourselves  unto  the  elder 
Yea.  all  »i  you  be  subject  one  to  another,  and  be  clothed  with 
humility-  for  God  resisteth  the  proud,  and  giveth  grace  to  the 
humble."  How  many  live  beyond  thejr  means  because  they  are 
proud.  I  would  rather  be  with  a  dry  goods  box  to  sit  on,  and  a 
bare  floor,  and  a  faded  dress,  with  little  to  eat,  than  to  have  plenty 
and  owe  for  it.  God  tells  us  to  owe  no  man  anything,  and  we 
would  not  were  it  not  for  the  pride  in  our  hearts.  We  are  not 
willing  to  humble  ourselves,  to  dress  common  or  live  common,  or 
'•omnion  furniture  in  our  homes;  and  then  we  have  no  money 
for  the  Lord  or  in  the  time  of  sickness.  .  Paul  so  hated  the  idea 
of  owing  anything  that  he  said:  "If  he  oweth  thee  aught,  put  that 
on  mine  account."  (Philemon,  18.)  May  God  help  us  to  live 
within  our  means.  If  we  have  anything  let  us  not  live  for  style 
and  delicacies  alone,  and  then  we  will  not  have  it  put  on  anyone's 
account.  We  should  live  in  I  Pet.  5:6:  "Humble  yourselves, 
therefore,  under  the  mighty  hand  of  God,  that  he  may  exalt  you 
in  due  time/'  That  is  what  I  am  living  for — to  be  exalted  of  God 
and  not  of  man.  I  am  afraid  too  many  of  us  after  God  has 
exalted  us.  if  he  did  not  let  something  come  into  our  lives  to  keep 
us  anchored,  would  not  stay  long  in  our  place,  and  he  would  have  to 
do  with  us  as  he  did  with  Paul,  II  Cor.  12:7:  "And  lest  I  should 
be  exalted  above  measure  through  the  abundance  of  the  revela- 
tions, there  was  given  to  me  a  thorn  in  the  flesh,  the  messenger 
of  Satan  to  buffet  me."  He  gives  us  things  that  will  keep  us 
down,  but  we  nre  not  like  Paul.  We  have  not  sense  enough  to  see 
that  those  things  are  for  our  good,  but  we  murmur  and  complain 
and  are  always  talking  about  it.  Paul  said  so  little  about  it  that 
we  can  hardly  decide  what  the  thorn  was.  We  know  a  thorn  is 
not  a  very  pleasant  thing  when  it  is  in  the  flesh.  It  must  have 
been  something  to  bring  humility.  There  will  things  come  to  us 


364  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

to  humble  us  and  take  out  the  conceit  in  us ;  otherwise  we  would 
be  lost.  If  we  would  walk  in  the  light  that  he  gives  us  he  will 
humble  us  because  he  loves  us  and  would  not  have  us  lost. 

After  I  gave  up  the  Fort  Logan  work,  and  a  few  days  before  I 
gave  up  the  Olive  Branch  work,  one  Wednesday  evening  I  Vent 
over  to  the  mission,  and  as  I  was  leading  the  meeting  the  Lord 
led  me  to  ask  prayer  for  my  broken  limb.  It  was  healed, 
and  again  I  proved  God.  Brother  Carveth  was  praying.  Before 
he  was  through  praying  the  pain  left  my  limb,  and  before  I  got 
home  the  fever  was  gone,  and  I  have  had  no  trouble  since.  I  gave 
up  the  mission  work  and  had  nothing  but  the  jail  and  the  Friday 
evening  bible  study  and  my  Sunday  school,  and  God  let  me  see 
the  great  mystery  that  I  could  not  understand — how  people  could 
be  Christians  and  injure  one  another  and  do  so  many  hateful 
things  that  a  sinner  would  not  think  of.  It  was  revealed  to  me  • 
through  the  word  by  the  Holy  Ghost.  It  was  then  the  grave-yard 
feeling  left  me,  and  again  I  thanked  God.  I  was  not  satisfied  with 
anything  short  of  a  bible  explanation,  and  God  gave  me  what  I 
had  searched  the  scripture  for,  more  than  two  years.  Some  of  the 
members  thought  they  knew  more  about  teaching  the  bible  than 
I  did.  When  the  scholars  know  more  than  the  teacher,  they  cannot 
be  further  instructed,  and  I  thought  it  time  to  withdraw.  The 
Holy  Spirit  was  still  leading  me  to  give  up  everything.  I  led  cot- 
tage prayer  meetings  after  that,  and  the  Lord  blessed  me  in  that 
work.  But  the  passage  of  scripture,  that  no  one  who  warreth 
must  be  entangled  with  the  affairs  of  this  life  (2  Tim.  2:4), 
still  bothered  me,  and  continued  to  do  so  till  I  promised  the 
Lord  I  would  not  lead  another  -  meeting.  After  I  stopped 
leading  meetings  I  was  led  to  stop  doing  for  others.  The  Holy 
Spirit  had  bothered  me  on  these  lines  so  much  that  I  knew  I  had 
to  do  it.  It  was  much  harder  to  get  away  from  helping  others 
than  to  stop  leading  meetings,  for  I  told  them  in  the  meetings 
how  the  Lord  was  leading  me  to  stay  at  home  and  write  the  story 
of  my  life. 

There  was  a  young  fellow  wrhom  I  helped  get  out  of  jail  that 
the  police  were  determined  to  have.  They  thought  he  was  a  des- 
perate case,  but  I  think  they  had  some  kind  of  a  grudge  against 
him.  I  had  helped  hundreds  in  the  past  twelve  years  to  get  away 
from  the  police,  and  I  was  sure  I  could  accomplish  the  same  thing 
with  this  young  man.  When  the  police  saw  me  come  into  the 
court  room  they  knew  I  was  after  someone.  They  would  nudge 
one  another  with  their  elbows  and  smile.  I  will  just  tell  you  two 
or  three  short  experiences  in  this  work.  One  evening  at  10  o'clock 
the  jail  clerk  came  with  a  note  for  me  to  come  and  get  a  man  out 
who  was  arrested  at  6  that  evening  for  drunkenness.  I  knew  he 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  36$ 

could  not  have  been  very  drunk,  as  I  was  down  town  that  evening 
about  5:30  and  was  talking  to  him  and  he  was  not  intoxicated 
at  the  time  I  met  him.  I  was  in  bed  when  the  clerk  came  with 
the  note  and  it  was  raining.  Mr.  Peterson  tried  to  get  me  to  let 
it  go  till  morning.  I  said:  "No;  I  will  go  and  see  what  I  can 
do."  I  dressed,  took  an  umbrella,  and  as  I  shut  the  door  Mr. 
Peterson  said:  "You  are  a  bigger  fool  than  I  thought  you  were, 
to  go  out  in  this  rain  for  that  jail  outfit."  As  the  rain  beat  against 
the  car  window  I  was  wondering  to  myself  if  I  was  as  big  a  fool 
as  people  thought  I  was,  and  I  got  the  answer:  "Do  you  love 
your  neighbor  as  yourself?  Would  you  wish  to  lie  there  all  night 
and  before  morning  be  lousy?"  Then  the  Spirit  came  again;  when 
I  answered,  "No,  I  would  not ;"  he  said :  "Love  in  deed,  not  in 
word.  If  that  were  your  brother  or  son  would  you  not  go?"  And 
I  -aid:  "Yes,  Lord."  Again  the  Spirit  comforted  me  with  these 
words:  "Are  you  not  glad  that  you  can  be  called  a  fool  and  suffer 
for  Christ's  sake,  and  are  you  not  suffering  for  his  sake  when  you 
love  your  neighbor  as  yourself  and  obey  God's  word?"  And  what 
could  I  say  but  "Yes.  Lord,"  and  go  on;  and  then  the  Spirit  would 
make  me  feel  as  though  I  were  there  myself  on  that  cold  stone 
floor  or  on  the  iron  cot  with  no  pillow  and  only  one  blanket.  When 
they  were  arrested  for  drunkenness  they  did  not  even  have  an  iron 
cot,  nothing  but  the  stone  floor.  I  said:  "Lord,  you  help  me,  and 
I  will  do  thy  will  regardless  of  husband,  neighbors  or  anyone." 
There  is  one  you  are  compelled  to  be  honest  with,  and  that  is 
God;  for  he  knows  your  heart,  no  matter  what  you  say  or  how 
much  you  try  to  cover  or  hide  any  act  of  your  life.  He  knows, 
and  it  is  he  and  he  alone  that  we  are  to  stand  before;  and  what  we 
can  do  before  God  surely  we  can  do  before  men.  Oh,  what 
folly  to  try  to  hide  from  one  another  and  deceive  one  another 
when  we  know  that  we  must  give  an  account  before  God.  I  said: 
"Well,  if  they  would  live  right  they  wouldn't  have  to  suffer  these 
thing*:"  and  then  the  Lord  brought  me  this  scripture:  "The  Lord 
is  good  and  kind  to  the  ungrateful."  Again  I  had  to  say,  "Yes, 
Lord:"  and  by  this  time  I  had  come  to  the  street  where  his  aunt 
lived.  I  got  off  the  car  and  went  and  told  his  aunt  and  we  went  to 
the  jail.  We  got  him  out  on  bonds  to  appear  at  court  the  next 
morning.  Some  might  say  why  did  he  not  write  a  note  to  his 
aunt.  Someone  had-  to  go  who  was  acquainted  and  had  influence. 
I  bade  them  good-night  and  told  them  I  would  be  at  court  the  next 
morning.  I  was  a  little  late,  and  the  young  man  was  before  the 
judge  with  no  one  to  say  a  word  in  his  behalf.  As  I  entered  the 
door  he  said:  "There  is  the  lady  who  will  tell  you  I  was  not 
drunk."  The  police  smiled  and  looked  at  one  anothen  I  went 
on  the  stand  and  was  sworn,  and  tolcj  the  judge  I  saw  him  on  the 


366  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

corner  of  Nineteenth  and  Curtis  and  got  off  my  wheel  and  walked 
to  Sixteenth  street,  leading  my  wheel  and  talking  to  him.  I  had 
worked  among  drunkards  arid  harlots  and  that  class  of  people 
for  over  fourteen  years  and  I  knew  a  drunkard  when  I  saw  him. 
I  said :  "Judge,  you  know  it  would  take  longer  for  a  worldly  man, 
one  who  was  in  the  habit  of  drinking,  than  thirty  minutes  to  get 
drunk,  and  it  was  no  longer  than  that  from  the  time  I  left  him 
till  the  police  had  him."  When  I  said  this  the  police  had  a  hearty 
laugh  and  the  judge  smiled.  I  suppose  they  did  not  understand 
there  was  a  difference  between  a  worldly  man  and  a  godly  man. 
The  judge  waited  till  they  got  through  laughing,  and  then  told 
the  young  man  he  could  go,  and  to  be  careful  not  to  appear  before 
him  again.  As  we  left  the  room  the  police  smiled,  realizing  they 
had  lost  another  victim. 

One  Sunday  evening  when  we  were  holding  the  afternoon 
meeting  in  the  jail,  a  young  man  motioned  for  me  through  the 
bars  to  come  to  him.  I  went  to  see  what  he  wanted  and  he  handed 
me  a  note  to  his  wife.  I  got  on  my  wheel  and  rode  over  to  the 
number  on  the  North  Side  and  found  the  wife  of  the  man.  Before 
I  was  seated  in  her  presence  I  knew  what  was  the  trouble,  for  she 
had  a  black  eye  that  was  swollen  and  her  face  was  cut.  It  was 
the  same  old  story — whisky  did  it.  Then  to  think  of  our  Christian 
people  voting  for  a  law  to  license  the  sale  of  or  even  to  permit  the 
manufacture  of  that  curse  which  causes  so  much  suffering  and 
crime  and  poverty  and  broken-hearted  mothers !  The  cry  is 
heard  from  our  learned  and  noble  Christian  gentlemen,  that  if  the 
government  did  not  have  this  revenue  it  would  go  down.  I  say, 
"Let  it  go."  Must  we  do  evil  that  good  may  come  of  it?  God 
forbid!  This  is  the  way  Christians  are  doing  today  and  we  cannot 
derfy  it,  for  it  is  the  truth;  and  may  the  Holy  Ghost  haunt  you 
with  these  words : 

Along  in  November  when  chilly  was  the  weather. 
Two  ballots  were  cast  in  a  box  together. 
They  nestled  up  close  like  brother  to  brother; 
You  couldn't  tell  one  of  the  votes  from  the  other. 

They  both  were  rum  votes 

And  sanctioned  the  license  plan, 
But  one  was  cast  by  a  cunning  old  brewer 

And  one  by  a  Sunday  school  man. 

The  Sunday  school  man — no  man  could  be  truer-^- 
Kcpt  busy  all  summer  denouncing  the  brewer; 
But  his  fever  cooled  off  with  the  change  of  the  weather, 
And  fate  in  the  awfwwn  they  voted  together, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  367 

The  Sunday  school  man  had  always  been  noted 
For  fighting  saloons  except  when  he  voted; 
He  piled  up  his  prayers  with  holy  perfection, 
And  kicked  them  all  down  on  the  day  of  election. 

Tlic  cunning  old  brewer  was  cheerful  and  mellow; 
Said  lie :     "I  admire  the  Sunday  school  fellow; 
f/e's  true  to  his  church,  to  his  party  he's  truer; 
He  talks  for  the  Lord  but  he  votes  for  the  brewer." 

Ask  God  to  open  the  eye  of  your  understanding,  that  you  may 
e  ignorant,  for  God  says  we  are  willingly  ignorant,  and  that 
he  will  punish  ignorance.  (Lev.  4,  part  of  verses  27,  28.)  If  any 
one  of  the  common  people  sins  through  ignorance  and  does  any- 
thing against  the  commandments,  and  afterwards  learns  he  has 
sinned,  he  must  repent.  God  says  in  Lev.  5:17:  "And  if  a  soul 
-in  and  commit  any  of  these  things  which  are  forbidden  to  be 
done  by  the  commandments  of  the  Lord;  though  he  wist  it  not, 
yr.t  lu«  is  guilty,  and  shall  bear  his  iniquity."  Num.  15:25:  "And 
the  priest  shall  make  an  atonement  for  all  the  congregation  of  the 
children  of  Israel,  and  it  shall  be  forgiven  them;  for  it  is  ignorance: 
and  they  shall  bring  their  offering,  a  sacrifice  made  by  fire  unto 
the  Lord,  and  their  sin-offering  before  the  Lord,  for  their  igno- 
rance." So  it  cost  them  something  because  of  their  ignorance. 
How  many  of  us  are  suffering  today  because  of  things  that  we 
have  left  undone  and  things  that  we  are  doing,  and  then  we  wonder 
why  we  have  such  a  hard  time  getting  along.  If  we  were  not 
•  Ininsr  anything  but  upholding  this  law  of  high  license,  this  and 
thi>  alone  would  be  enough  to  cause  God  to  send  all  manner  of 
punishment  upon  us.  Let  us  see  further  what  God's  word  says, 
that  we  may  not  be  in  ignorance.  Num.  15:28,  29:  "And  the 
priest  shall  make  an  atonement  for  the  soul  that  sinneth  igno- 
rantly,  when  he  sinneth  by  ignorance  before  the  Lord,  to  make  an 
atonement  for  him;  and  it  shall  be  forgiven  him.  Ye  shall  have 
one  law  for  him  that  sinneth  through  ignorance,  both  for  him  that 
is  born  among  the  children  of  Israel,  and  for  the  stranger  that 
sojourneth  among  them."  And  then  to  think  of  a  government 
headed  with  the  law  of  God  permitting  the  accursed  traffic  in 
liquor,  which  is  the  cause  of  so  much  of  this  dreadful  crime  in 
our  Christian  nation !  "For  this  they  willingly  are  ignorant"  (II 
Pet.  3:5).  "Who  can  have  compassion  on  the  ignorant,  and 
on  them  that  are  out  of  the  way;  for  that  he  himself  also  is  com- 
passed with  infirmity"  (Heb.  5:2).  God  forbid  that  we  should 
be  ignorant,  for  he  tells  us  to  search  the  scripture.  We  as  a  gov- 
ernment cannot  stand  up  under  wrong-doing,  If  we  do  wrong 


368  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

the  time  will  come  when  we  must  go  down.  Against  the  truth  we 
will  never  be  able  to  stand,  but  if  we  stand  on  the  truth  our  reward 
will  be  as  stated  in  Deut.  27:5-7:  "Blessed  shall  be  thy  basket 
and  thy  store.  Blessed  shalt  thou  be  when  thou  comest  in,  and 
blessed  shalt  thou  be  when  thou  goest  out.  The  Lord  shall  cause 
thine  enemies  that  rise  up  against  thee  to  be  smitten  before  thy 
face:  they  shall  come  out  against  thee  one  way  and  flee  before 
thee  seven  ways."  Does  this  look  as  if  we  would  go  down  if  this 
curse  of  whisky  was  eradicated  from  our  land?  The  Lord  tells 
us  he  will  bless  everything  that  our  hands  find  to  do  and  to  do  it 
with  our  might;  and  he  promises  it  shall  prosper,  for  he  says 
"Whatsoever  he  does  shall  prosper"  (Ps.  1:3).  Lev.  26:2-4: 
"Ye  shall  keep  my  sabbaths,  and  reverence  my  sanctuary:  I  am 
the  Lord.  If  ye  walk  in  my  statutes  and  keep  my  commandments, 
and  do  them;  then  I  will  give  you  rains  in  due  season,  and  the 
land  shall  yield  her  increase,  and  the  trees  of  the  field  shall  yield, 
their  fruit."  "And  the  Lord  shall  take  away  from  thee  all  sick- 
ness, and  will  put  none  of  the  evil  diseases  of  Egypt  which  thou 
knowest  upon  thee"  (Deut.  7:15).  This  does  not  look  as  if  our 
nation  should  suffer  anything.  But  we  can  see  from  'God's  word 
and  from  observation  that  we  as  a  Christian  nation  are  not  regard- 
ing the  word  of  God.  If  we  were  even  the  poor  would  not  want, 
neither  would  there  be  the  crimes  committed  in  our  Christian 
nation. 

The  year  1893  was  a  bloody  one.  The  Chicago  Tribune,  which 
for  years  has  made  a  specialty  of  gathering  the  ghastly  record,  told 
us  that  the  number  of  murders  was  6,615.  In  1894  it  increased 
nearly  one-half,  or  to  the  fearful  sum  of  9,800.  The  six  days  of 
Christmas  week  in  this  Christian  nation  witnessed  sixty-five  deaths 
from  murder  and  assault  and  twenty  cases  of  suicide.  The  mur- 
ders of  the  last  year  would  utterly  depopulate  the  city  of  Pasa- 
dena, Cal.,  or  Flint,  Mich.,  or  any  other  city  of  10,000  inhab- 
itants. A  religious  paper  truly  says  that  from  the  woman  who 
forced  pins  down  the  throat  of  her  babe  to  the  man  who  anni- 
hilated his  whole  family,  these  murders  have  kept  brutal  pace 
with  barbarous  Turks  and  Kurds.  In  the  year  1889  there 
were  about  3,567  murders.  During  the  year  of  1893  there  were 
2,960  suicides.  In  1894  this  record  was  exceeded  by  1,476, 
reaching  the  total  of  4,436  cases  of  self-murder.  Here  is  an 
increase  of  more  than  50  per  cent  in  suicides  and  nearly  50  per 
cent  in  murders,  while  the  growth  in  population  has  been  less 
than  10  per  cent.  How  few  of  these  capital  crimes  have  been 
brought  to  justice  according  to  law  may  be  seen  by  a  study  of  the 
court  records.  Only  132  persons  were  executed,  forty-one  in  the 
South,  and  ninety-one  in  the  North.  It  shows  a  lax  condition 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  369 

among  the  executors  of  law  when  for  every  seventy-five  persons 
killed  only  one  is  executed.  The  Advocate  says  it  would  almost 
seem  as  if  for  every  law  put  upon  the  statute  book  relating  to 
crime  and  for  every  decision  in  a  murder  case  handed  down  from 
the  high  courts,  another  bolt  has  to  be  put  upon  the  citizen's  door. 
In  its  issue  of  January  17  the  same  paper  takes  up  the  question 
under  the  head  of  "Christianity  and  Crime."  It  quotes  an  able 
author,  saying:  "One  might  say  that  in  spite  of  new  papers  and 
conferences  and  statistics,  it  is  impossible  to  be  sure  whether  true 
Christianity  is  flourishing  or  not.  Particular  organizations  may 
thrive  but  the  prosperity  be  hollow."  The  Advocate  does  not  think 
this  quite  satisfactory,  and  explains  that  it  is  better  to  put  the  mat- 
ter in  Christ's  way,  and  then  it  makes  this  sad  confession:  "The 
Savior  pivoted  everything  upon  the  activity  of  the  gospel.  He  made 
prominent  the  fact  that  it  would  be  preached  and  rejected,  and 
those  to  whom  it  was  preached  be  in  a  worse  state  than  if  it  had 
not  come  to  them.  Therefore,  in  considering  the  increase  of  crime 
in  this  country,  with  so  many  pulpits  and  churches,  we  must  ask 
first  of  all,  How  far  are  the  people  accepting  the  religion  of  Jesus 
Christ?  In  answer  to  this  question-  it  may  be  said  that  the  masses 
are  not  in  any  real  New  Testament  sense  accepting  the  gospel. 
They  do  not  go  to  hear  it  preached.  They  do  not  study  it  in  their 
bibles,  and  they  still  less  take  its  mighty  vitalizing  and  restraining 
influence  into  their  lives.  In  a  city  like  this  it  is  difficult  to  main- 
tain a  fair  attendance  at  the  Sunday  evening  services,  but  the 
theaters  are  easily  crowded  on  that  evening.  .The  majority  of 
those  who  commit  crime  and  go  to  jail  or  the  penitentiary  are  men, 
but  the  majority  of  those  who  attend  prayer  meeting  and  teach 
Sunday  school  are  women.  The  writer  of  this  article  was  amazed 
last  summer  on  visiting  different  churches  to  find  so  few  boys  in 
the  Sunday  school.  The  great  body  of  boys  in  the  country  are 
growing  up  outside  of  the  churches  and  away  from  the  teaching 
of  the  gospel.  In  a  word,  a  vast  number  of  people  do  not  get  near 
enough  the  gospel  or  let  it  get  near  enough  to  them  to  be  a  power 
over  their  passions  or  to  save  them  from  temptation." 

The  above  words  are  worthy  of  serious  meditation.  They  are 
the  utterance  of  a  paper  that  is  decidedly  optimistic,  and  which  has 
had  much  to  say  of  the  triumphs  of  religion  as  manifested  in  Sun- 
day laws,  decisions  of  courts,  etc.  It  is  one  of  the  many  religious 
papers  which  has  welcomed  the  Christian  nation  decision  of  the 
supreme  court;  and  yet,  when  facing  the  hard,  cold  facts  of  increas- 
ing crime  which  comes  right  on  the  heels,  of  Sunday  law  petitions, 
of  the  supreme  court  decision  that  this  is  a  Christian  nation,  of  the 
action  of  congress  and  the  president  in  closing  the  world's  fair 
on  Sunday,  of  the  great  parliament  of  religions,  the  Advocate  is 


370  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

obliged  to  confess  as  above,  and  to  further  say,  as  it  does  in  its 
previous  issue,  that  it  seems  proper  to  infer  that  the  present-day 
civilization  aggravates  rather  than  checks  the  suicidal  tendencies 
and  inferentially  aggravates  the  tendency  to  commission  of  crime. 
It  says :  "The  number  of  people  who  in  the  city  of  Chicago  alone 
have  waked  up  in  the  night  to  find  the  cold  muzzle  of  a  revolver 
in  their  faces  is  something  astonishing,  and  still  greater  is  the 
number  of  those  who  keep  their  doors  locked,  bolted  and  chained 
during  the  day,  as  if  the  city  was  in  the  midst  of  an  insurrection. 
The  rattling  of  chains  which  frequently  greets  a  caller  makes 
him  feel  as  if  he  was  being  let  into  prison  or  a  castle  of  historic 
times."  The  Advocate  further  says:  "Then,  again,  much  of  the 
crime  of  the  country  is  committed  by  the  foreign  population,  the 
immigrants  coming  largely  from  Europe,  and  in  Europe  the  Chris- 
tian religion  was  early  corrupted  by  paganism.  It  is  not  a  clear 
stream  flowing  from  the  healing  fountain,  but  ever  since  the  whole- 
sale introduction  of  the  barbarism  of  barbarous  tribes  subdued  by 
priestly  craft  and  imperial  power,  it  has  carried  into  the  life  of 
the  word  a  mingled  current  of  the  dark  pollution  of  heathenism. 
To  accept  this  mixture  is  not  to  accept  Christianity  as  Christ  taught 
it,  or  as  the  apostles  preached  it.  So  far,  therefore,  as  this  so-called 
civilized  nation  still  cleaves  to  paganism  and  rejects  a  pure  gospel, 
Christianity  cannot  be  held  responsible  for  the  result." 

No.  True  Christianity,  the  Christianity  of  Christ,  is  not,  and 
therefore  should  not  be  held,  responsible  for  any  of  these  awful 
results.  It  is  the  lack  of  Christianity  and  the  rejection  of  Chris- 
tianity that  are  responsible.  It  is  in  great  part  the  rejection 
of  the  Christianity  of  Christ  and  the  adherence  to  and  further 
acceptance  of  a  paganized  Christianity  by  those  who  profess  to  be 
Christians  that  is  the  cause  of  increased  crime,  lawlessness  and 
outrage.  Take,  for  instance,  the  position  of  the  greater  part  of 
the  Christian  press  and  ministry  on  the  great  question  of  the 
Sabbath,  an  institution  which  the  Advocate  has  declared  serves 
the  same  purpose  today  as  did  the  forbidden  fruit  in  the  Garden 
of  Eden.  The  Sabbath  truly  is  a  test;  it  is  God's  Sabbath,  and  it 
is  a  test  in  God's  way. 

Lev.  14 :2i :  "And  if  he  be  poor,  and  cannot  get  so  much ; 
then  he  shall  take  one  ram."  We  should  do  a  little.  Lev.  19:10: 
"And  thou  shalt  not  glean  thy  vineyard,  neither  shalt  thou  gather 
every  grape  of  thy  vineyard;  thou  shalt  leave  them  for  the  poor 
and  stranger:  I  am  the  Lord  your  God."  We  should  even  leave 
something  on  our  tables  for  the  poor  and  the  stranger;  not  give 
them  a  "hand-out,"  but  entertain  strangers,  for  we  may  be  enter- 
taining angels  unawares.  That  is  what  God  says.  Again,  in 
Leyr  23:22:  "And  when  ye  reap  the  harvest  of  your  land,  thou 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  371 

shalt  not  make  clean  riddance  of  the  corners  of  thy  field  when 
thou  reapest,  neither  shalt  thou  gather  any  gleanings  of  the  har- 
vest: thou  shalt  leave  them  unto  the  poor,  and  to  the  stranger:  1 
am  the  Lord  your  God."  We  have  not  fields  in  these  large  cities, 
but  we  have  tables.  There  are  too  many  of  us  who  say,  "I  am 
too  poor,  and  it  takes  so  much  to  keep  up  with  the  changing  styles 
of  the  day;  it  takes  everything  we  can  make."  That  is  why  you 
are  poor.  You  always  will  be  so.  Many  will  go  on  and  never 
know  this  passage  of  scripture  is  in  the  bible:  "It  is  more  blessed 
to  give  than  to  receive."  We  should  give  as  the  widow  gave  her 
mite.  It  is  an  easy  matter  for  those  with  money  at  interest  to 
give,  while  they  are  living  on  the  products  of  the  hard  labors  of 
some  poor  family  struggling  to  pay  off  some  mortgage  on  their 
furniture  or  home.  God  tells  us  to  owe  no  man,  and  we  need 
not  if  it  were  not  for  this  terrible  curse  of  interest.  Men  could 
pay  their  debts  if  it  were  not  for  this.  Oh,  in  so  many  ways  we 
are  turning  a  deaf  ear  to  God's  word!  Lev.  25:36,  37:  "Take 
thou  no  usury  of  him,  or  increase;  but  fear  thy  God;  that  thy 
brother  may  live  with  thee."  Tell  me  how  many  are  there  who 
fear  God.  37th  verse :  "Thou  shalt  not  give  him  thy  money  upon 
n  Miry,  nor  lend  him  thy  rituals  for  increase."  What  a  heaven 
this  would  be  if  we  would  love  every  one  as  we  do  ourselves.  God 
has  told  us  to  do  it,  and  when  we  make  the  poor  struggle  to  pay 
interest  we  are  not  living  the  word  of  God,  for  God  says  we 
ought  not  to  give  our  brother  anything  and  expect  an  increase. 
We  (are  to  do  it  because  we  love  him  and  because  he  needs  our 
help;  not  that  we  are  to  profit  by  charging  interest.  We  would 
better  wait  and  receive  the  interest  that  God  will  give  us  instead 
of  trying  to  get  our  own  interest.  Notice  the  word  "despise,"  and 
how  many  despise  God's  way  and  find  fault  and  think  God  is 
harsh  with  them  when  it  is  their  own  disobedience  that  has  brought 
it  all  on  their  heads.  Lev.  26:15,  16:  "And  if  ye  shall  despise  my 
statutes,  or  in  your  soul  abhor  my  judgments,  so  that  ye  will  not 
do  all  my  commandments,  but  that  ye  break  my  covenant;  1  also 
will  do  this  unto  you,  I  will  even  appoint  over  you  terror,  con- 
sumption, and  the  burning  ague."  Still  we  wonder  why  these 
things  arc.  It  is  because  we  do  not  love  our  neighbors  as  our- 
selves ;  that  is  one  of  his  greatest  commandments  and  the  one  that 
we  break  the  most.  We  should  not  make  or  manufacture  or 
uphold  or  encourage  with  one  word  anything  that  would  by  the 
use  of  it  rob  our  boy  or  fcirl  of  reason  or  drag  them  down  to  a 
drunkard's  grave.  And  why  should  we  uphold  a  government  thai 
will  encourage  a  traffic  that  causes  our  neighbor  to  fill  a  drunkard's 
grave?  God  forbid  that  we  be  any  longer  ignorant  or  blinded  by 
the  devil,  but  may  this  truth  open  our  eyes  that  we  may  pray  God 


372  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

and  keep  those  commandments.  Just  read  Deut  28:16,  17  and  48: 
"Cursed  shall  be  thy  basket  and  thy  store."  Many  people  think 
these  things  just  happen  so,  but  read  God's  word  and  see  that 
divorces  are  among  the  curses  that  God  has  pronounced  against 
those  people  who  do  not  obey  his  commandments  (Deut.  28:30). 
A  man  shall  marry  a  woman,  and  she  shall  love  someone  else, 
and  then  a  divorce;  and  a  woman  shairbetroth  a  husband,  and  he 
will  be  infatuated  with  someone  else,  and  there  will  be  another 
divorce.  Doesn't  God  say  that  the  foes  will  be  those  of  our  own 
house?  Does  he  not  say  cursed  shall  be  our  basket?  These  are 
the  causes  of  so  much  trouble  in  our  homes.  Husbands  are  not 
letting  Christ  be  their  head  and  wives  are  obeying  husbands  in 
the  place  of  God.  People  wonder  at  the  terrible  railroad  wrecks 
and  the  way  people  are  swept  off  the  earth  by  hundreds  without 
a  moment's  warning.  Read  Num.  16:33,  34,  35:  "They,  and 
all  that  appertained  to  them,  went  down  alive  into  the  pit,  and  the 
earth  closed  upon  them:  and  they  perished  from  among  the  con- 
gregation. And  all  Israel  that  were  round  about  them,  fled  at  the 
cry  of  them :  *  *  *  And  there  came  out  a  fire  from  the  Lord, 
and  consumed  the  two  hundred  and  fifty  men"  So  many  will  tell 
you  the  causes  of  all  these  things.  They  will  tell  you,  the  cause 
of  a  railroad  wreck  was  that  the  track  was  sprung,  or  there  was 
a  washout,  or  something  on  the  track,  or  a  great  rock  happened 
to  roll  down.  Read  the  last  two  lines  of  the  3Oth  verse  and  you 
will  see  that  it  did  not  happen  so,  but  that  these  men  had  forsaken 
the  Lord.  If  God  wants  the  people  to  understand  that  he  per- 
mitted these  things,  he  also  wants  us  to  understand  that  we  can 
forsake  him  as  they  did  in  that  day.  We  have  light  and  knowledge 
they  did  not  have  then.  Deut.  28:54:  "So  that  the  man  that  is 
tender  among  you,  and  very  delicate,  his  eye  shall  be  evil  toward 
his  brother,  and  toward  the  wife  of  his  bosom."  Who  can  deny 
this  truth?  Go  into  our  courts  today  and  see  the  divorces,  and 
into  our  homes  and  see  the  cross,  disagreeable,  cranky  husbands 
and  wives.  What  could  they  have  but  ugly  children?  Deut.  28:56: 
"The  tender  and  delicate  woman  among  you,  which  would  not 
adventure  to  set  the  sole  of  her  foot  upon  the  ground  for  her 
delicacy  and  tenderness,  her  eye  shall  be  evil  toward  the  husband 
of  her  bosom,  and  toward  her  son,  and  toward  her  daughter." 
You  cannot  tell  me  that  women  and  girls  cultivating  this  dainty 
pride,  refinement  and  style  will  not  become  selfish  and  love  them- 
selves more  than  they  love  husband,  home  or  child.  They  may 
not  think  so,  but  this  evil  pride  is  sure  to  promote  selfishness. 
Their  minds  are  taken  up  in  their  daintiness  and  refinement  and 
culture  of  their  looks,  so  that  they  may  appear  in  society  refined, 
educated,  cultured — forgetting  the  soul,  the  spirit,  the  character, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  373 

They  cannot  devote  so  much  time  to  these  things  and  have  time 
for  anything  else,  for  life  is  short.  It  is  limited,  and  we  cannot 
develop  two  different  dispositions  in  us  at  the  same  time.  A  man 
with  two  trades  trying  to  put  his  very  soul  and  life  into  both,  fails. 
He  has  not  the  time  to  cultivate  and  attend  to  both;  too  many 
irons  in  the  fire  only  means  failure.  May  God  help  us  to  cultivate 

!   and  character,   not  pride  and  these  delicate  things  that  God 
Npi-aks  of.     See  the  delicate  women  of  today,  all  primped  up  and 

^o  stiff  that  if  they  even  dared  to  move  their  heads  it  seems 
their  necks  would  break  like  an  icicle;  and  that  would  be  dreadful 

-ee  those  nice,   delicate  women  running  around  with  no  heads 
From   the  way  they  twist  and  throw  themselves,  one  would 

•e  there  is  nothing  much  inside  that  head  but  style,  pride  and 
-elhshness,  and  evil  thoughts  against  her  husband  because  he  can't 
her  all  the  money  she  wants,  that  she  may  keep  up  to  date 
with  others  in  the  churches  that  are  so  shallow-brained  as  to 
think  dress  and  looks  are  all  and  that  a  grand,  good,  loving  spirit 
is  nothinc.  They  have  not  that  loving  character  which  would  be  a 
blessing  to  every  one  they  meet.  To  think  that  in  this  enlightened 

we  are  a<  ignorant  as  the  heathen !     If  we  were  not  we  would 
fear  God  and  believe  that  he  sends  these  things  upon  us  for  our 

.  our  selfish  ways.  The  rich  man  who  intended  to  build  his 
barns  larger  provoked  God  by  his  selfishness  and  God  took  his  soul. 
1  ^uppose  he  was  one  that  did  not  leave  anything  for  the  poor,  and 
thajt  was  why  his  barn  was  full.  Does  he  not  say  in  Matt.  24:7: 
"For  nation  shall  rise  against  nation,  and  kingdom  against  king 
dom :  and  there  shalt  be  famines,  and  pestilence,  and  earthquakes 
in  divers  places."  Josh.  10:11:  "They  were  '  more  which  died 
with  hailstones  than  they  whom  the  children  of  Israel  slew  with 
the  sword/'  Again,  I  ask,  Why  all  these  sorrows  spoken  of  in 
Matt.  24:6,  7?  "All  these  are  the  beginning  of  sorrows."  Does  it 
not  behoove  us,  the  children  of  God,  to  watch  and  pray  lest  we 
wax  cold  in  our  love  to  God  and  to  our  neighbor?  (i2th  v.) 
Again  I  ask.  Why?  This  question  is  asked  me  more  than  anything 
else.  Wrhy  are  these  things?  We  will  let  God  answer.  Deut. 
1 1 126-28 :  "Behold  I  set  before  yoli  this  day  a  blessing  and  a 
curse:  a  blessing,  if  ye  obey  the  commandments  of  the  Lord  our 
God  which  I  command  you  this  day;  and  a  curse,  if  ye  will  not  obey 
the  commandments  of  the  Lord  your  God."  God  says  if  you  will 
hearken  and  do  his  commandments  he  will  give  you  the  first  and 
the  latter  rain,  and  when  he  brings  the  punishments  upon  the 
people  for  their  sins  he  will  provide  for  you  today  as  he  did  for 
the  widow  and  her  son  in  Elijah's  time.  It  may  not  be  your  way, 
but  he  will  provide  in  his  own  way.  God  says  you  shall  lay  up 
his  words  in  your  hearts  and  in  your  souls  and  bind  them  for  a  sign 


374  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

upon  your  hand  that  they  may  be  as  frontlets  between  your  eyes. 
(Deut.  6:1-8.) 

What  is  more  disgusting  than  a  bad  woman  who  will  not  obey 
God?  How  cunning  and  slick  they  will  be  to  accomplish  their  ends 
Judges  16:15-17:  "And  she  said  unto  him,  How  canst  thou  say,  1 
love  thee,  when  thy  heart  is  not  with  me?  Thou  hast  mocked  me 
these  three  times,  and  hast  not  told  me  wherein  thy  great  strength 
lieth.  And  it  came  to  pass  when  she  pressed  him  daily  with  her 
words,  and  urged  him,  so  that  his  soul  was  vexed  unto  death;  that 
he  told  her  all  his  heart,  and  said  unto  her,  There  hath  not 
come  a  razor  upon  mine  head;  for  I  have  been  a  Nazerite  unto 
God  from  my  birth.  If  I  be  shaven  I  shall  become  weak,  and 
be  like  any  other  man."  I  Kings  19:2:  "Then  Jezebel  sent  a 
messenger  unto  Elijah,  saying,  So  let  the  gods  do  to  me,  and  more 
also,  if  I  make  not  thy  life  as  the  life  of  one  of  them  by  tomorrow 
about  this  time."  Prov.  7:4,  5:  "Say  unto  wisdom,  Thou  are  my 
sister,  and  call  understanding  thy  kinswoman :  that  they  may  keep 
thee  from  the  strange  woman,  from  the  stranger  which  flattereth 
thee  with  her  words."  27th  verse:  "Her  house  is  the  way  to  hell, 
going  down  to  the  chambers  of  death."  Prov.  9:18:  "But  he 
knoweth  not  that  the  dead  are  there ;  and  that  her  guests  are  in  the 
depths  of  hell."  Prov.  21  :g :  "It  is  better  to  dwell  in  a  corner  of 
the  housetop,  than  with  a  brawling  woman  in  a  wide  house."  I9th 
verse:  "It  is  better  to  dwell  in  the  wilderness,  than  with  a  con- 
tentious and  an  angry  woman."  This  is  the  reason  why  I  encour- 
age the  cultivating  of  the  spirit  and  character  and  not  pride. 
N'eh.  13:26:  "Did  not  Solomon  king  of  Israel  sin  %by  these  things? 
yet  among  many  nations  was  there  no  king  like  him,  who  was 
beloved  of  his  God,  and  God  made  him  king  over  all  Israel :  never- 
theless even  him  did  outlandish  women  cause  to  sin."  A  bad 
woman  can  do  imore  harm  than  a  bad  man,  for  her  influence  is 
greater  than  man's.  They  had  power  in  olden  times,  and  how 
much  greater  is  their  power  today,  either  for  bad  or  good.  Here 
is  the  difference.  Judges  4:4:  "And  Deborah,  a  prophetess,  the 
wife  of  Lapidoth,  she  judged  Israel  at  that  time."  9th  verse:  "And 
she  said,  I  will  surely  go  With  thee:  notwithstanding  the  journey 
that  thou  takest  shall  not  be  for  thine  honor;  for  the  Lord  shall 
sell  Sisera  into  the  hand  of  a  woman."  Women  did  great  things 
in  that  day,  as  great  as  they  have  done  in  this  day.  Judges  5 :24,  25 : 
"Blessed  above  women  shall  Jael  the  wife  of  Heber  the  Kenite  be, 
blessed  shall  she  be  above  women  in  the  tent.  He  asked  water,  and 
she  gave  him  milk ;  she  brought  forth  butter  in  a  lordly  dish." 
I  Kings  10:1 :  "And  when  the  queen  of  Sheba  heard  of  the  fame  of 
Solomon  concerning  the  name  of  the  Lord  she  came  to  prove  him 
with  her  questions:"  I  Kings  17:15:  "And  she  went  and  did 


OR,     SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  375 

according  to  the  saying  of  Elijah:  and  she,  and  he,  and  her  house, 
did  eat  many  days."  Esther  4:16:  "So  will  I  go  in  unto  the  king, 
which  is  not  according  to  the  law;  and  if  I  perish,  I  perish."  You 
they  did  grand,  noble  deeds  in  those  days.  I  sometimes  ask 
if  women  were  not  more  faithful  and  there  were  not  more  heroes 
then  than  now  among  women.  Prov.  31 :2O-3i :  "She  stretcheth 
out  her  hand  to  the  poor;  yea,  she  reacheth  forth  her  hand  to  the 
needy,"  etc.  Just  as  every  Christian  woman  today  should  do.  But 
you  hear  it  said  their  husbands  will  not  let  them,  and  if  they  go 
against  their  husbands'  will,  the  neighbors  and  the  church  will 
talk  about  them  for  their  good  work.  The  27th  verse  says:  "She 
looketh  well  to  the  ways  of  her  household,  and  eateth  not  the  bread 
of  idleness."  Most  women  think  they  have  all  they  can  do  and 
hire  half  of  their  work  done,  too,  to  say  nothing  of  the  work  the 
Lord  tells  them  to  do.  A  good  woman  will  not  be  a  tale-bearer  or 
a  tattler;  will  speak  only  that  which  is  edifying.  26th  verse:  "She 
openeth  her  mouth  with  wisdom;  and  in  her  tongue  is  the  law  of 
kindness."  Not  to  say  some  hateful  thing  just  because  she  doesn't 
like  someone.  The  most  dreadful  thing  is  the  tongue  of  a  bad 
woman  and  an  evil-minded  woman.  28th  verse:  "Her  children 
arise  up,  and  call  her  blessed;  her  husband  also,  and  he  praiseth 
her."  If  he  does  not,  it  is  because  of  the  church  members  who 
make  him  believe  his  wife  is  spending  all  the  money  and  neglecting 
him ;  with  bad  letters  and  other  things  they  influence  him.  The 
3ist  verse:  "Give  her  of  the  fruit  of  her  hands;  and  let  her  own 
works  praise  her  in  the  gates."  That  is  all  I  ask — to  leave  my 
works  with  God.  3Oth  verse:  "Favour  is  deceitful,  and  beauty  is 
vain :  but  a  woman  that  feaneth  the  Lord,  she  shall  be  praised." 
And  she  is,  and  the  jealous  and  envious  ones  cannot  help  her  being 
praised,  though  they  do  as  David  said  in  Ps.  22:7:  "All  they  that 
see  me  laugh  me  to  scorn ;  they  shoot  out  the  lip,  they  shake  the 
head."  Perhaps  you  think  this  is  not  humiliating  and  will  not 
humble  the  highest-spirited  person  in  the  world.  God  humbled  the 
children  of  Israel  through  hunger  (Deut.  8:3),  but  he  took  this  plan 
to  humble  me.  Still  my  works  praise  me.  A  woman  is  brave  when 
doing  right  and  accomplishing  good,  but  so  many  men  do  not  want 
to  admit  it.  Judges  9:54:  "Then  he  called  hastily  unto  the  young 
man  his  armour-bearer,  and  said  unto  him,  Draw  thy  sword,  and 
-lay  me,  that  men  may  not  say  of  me,  A  woman  slew  me."  This 
man,  even  after  he  was  dead  and  gone,  did  not  want  to  give  the 
woman  credit  of  being  brave.  II  Sam.  20:22:  "Then  the  woman 
went  unto  all  the  people  in  her  wisdom."  Can  you  not  see  a 
woman  is  as  smart  as  a  man?  Luke  1:28:  "And  the  angel  came 
in  unto  her,  and  said,  Hail,  thou  that  art  highly  favoured,  the  Lord 
is  with  thee:  blessed  are  thou  among  women."  They  could  not 


376  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

let  the  woman  who  anointed  the  Savior's  head  alone,  and  how  can 
we  expect  to  be  let  alone  in  our  good  works  ?  Mark  14 :6-8 :  "And 
Jesus  said,  Let  her  alone;  why  trouble  ye  her?  she  hath  wrought 
a  good  work  on  me.  *  *  *  She  hath  done  what  she  could." 

Let  us  see  what  a  bad  man  is,  as  portrayed  in  the  scriptures. 
Deut.  28:34:  "So  that  the  man  that  is  tender  among  you,  and  very 
delicate,  his  eye  shall  be  evil."  Have  you  not  seen  men  who  were 
very  nice  to  meet  or  talk  to,  and  at  home  were  as  cross  as  bears? 
Prov.  26 :2i :  "As  coals  are  to  burning  coals,  and  wood  to  fire ;  so 
is  a  contentious  man  to  kindle-strife."  I7th  verse:  "He  that  med- 
dleth  with  strife  belonging  not  to  him,  is  like  one  that  taketh  a  dog 
by  the  ears."  Prov.  29 :22 :  "An  angry  man  stirreth  up  strife,  and 
a  furious  man  aboundeth  in  transgression."  2Oth  verse:  "Seest 
thou  a  man  that  is  hasty  in  his  words  ?  there  is  more  hope  of  a  fool 
than  of  him."  Prov.  16:27:  "An  ungodly  man  diggeth  up  evil : 
and  in  his  lip  there  is  as  a  burning  fire."  I  must  speak  of  the  only 
man  whose  love  was  greater  than  a  woman's  love.  It  is  said  man 
cannot  love  as  woman,  but  we  see  and  know  better — that  men  have 
the  faculty  to  love  as  much  as  women.  II  Sam.  1 :26 :  "I  am 
distressed  for  thee  my  brother  Jonathan:  very  pleasant  hast  thou 
been  unto  me:  thy  love  to  me  was  wonderful,  surpassing  the  love 
of  women."  This  is  an  exception.  As  a  rule  men  are  selfish  and 
want  their  own  way  about  the  least  to  the  greatest  things  of  life. 
The  average  man  will  conduct  himself  toward  his  wife  as  though 
he  were  monarch  of  all  he  surveyed.  The  moment  the  word  is 
said  she  has  not  another  word  to  say,  where  or  when  she  must  go 
or  come.  She  is  no  longer  a  free  moral  agent.  They  will  even 
take  that  from  her  that  God  will  not,  and  that  is  her  will.  They 
settle  down  to  this  idea:  "Wife,  your  place  is  in  the  house" — it 
makes  no  difference  how  much  she  wishes  to  go — "I  am  at  home 
now,  and  you  stay,  too."  He  does  not  stop  to  think  that  after  the 
task  she  has  performed  all  day  with  the  children,  it  is  good  for  the 
mother  to  get  out  in  the  evening  to  rest  her  mind.  It  is  as  much 
rest  for  her  as  it  is  to  the  husband  to  get  home  away  from  busi- 
ness cares,  but  he  does  not  think  of  this.  I  am  safe  in  saying  not 
one  out  of  a  thousand  thinks  of  it;  and  this  is  why  I  say  Jonathan 
is  an  exception  'among  men,  for  he  was  willing  to  sacrifice  any- 
thing for  the  comfort  and  welfare  of  David.  A  man,  if  right  before 
God  and  with  himself,  should  not  ask  a  wife  to  do  anything  against 
her  will  or  feelings  or  contrary  to  her  wishes,  concerning  her  indi- 
vidual self.  If  he  does,  it  is  selfishness.  He  will  not  before  mar- 
riage. If  he  does  he  knows  it  is  all  off;  but  after  the  word  is  said 
he  thinks  he  has  her.  He  may  have  her  body,  but  he  has  not  her 
heart  or  feelings ;  but  so  many  are  blind  to  that.  They  think 
they  have  the  right  to  coerce  the  one  who  is  bound  to  them  by 


OR,     SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  377 

law.  Under  such  treatment,  it  is  not  long  till  respect  is  dead, 
to  say  nothing  of  love.  God  will  not  accept  anything  of  us 
against  our  will.  Men  and  women  mostly  call  this  love;  and 
that  is  why  when  a  wife  opposes  her  husband  in  one  of  his 
desires,  then  the  spirit  of  selfishness  and  not  the  spirit  of  love  is 
shown.  This  is  the  cause  of  the  divisions  in  the  home.  I  have 
heard  it  said  there  was  a  time  when  men  were  so  unfeeling  and 
full  of  selfishness  that  they  would  hitch  a  woman  up  with  an  ox 
to  plow  in  the  field.  If  I  had  my  choice,  I  would  rather  plow  corn 
from  six  to  six  and  be  hitched  up  with  an  ox,  if  there  was  no 
man  to  drive  or  dictate  to  me,  than  to  be  hitched  up  with  a  man, 
by  the  yoke  of  the  law,  who  would  not  regard  the  wishes  or  feel- 
ings or  will  of  his  wife.  I  would  not  think  so  much  about  it  if  he 
was  as  willing  to  look  after  the  babies  and  take  the  care  and  let 
his  wife  go  out;  for  he  does  not  work  one  bit  harder  than  she,  and 
not  as  hard.  This  needs  no  argument,  for  it  proves  itself.  After 
a  woman's  health  is  broken  under  the  cares  of  house  and  children, 
life  soon  becomes  a  task  and  burden;  and  instead  of  the  husband 
cultivating  and  cherishing  her  as  Christ  commanded,  he  goes  on 
with  his  lustful,  selfish  desires.  He  has  not  suffered.  His  health 
has  not  been  affected  because  of  raising  children.  He  is  as  healthy 
as  ever.  This  tells  its  own  story;  it  cannot  be  denied.  I  want  to 
ask,  Should  not  the  man  suffer  as  well  as  his  wife?  He  would 
have  these  fleshly  desires  taken  out  of  him  if  he  had  suffered 
as  the  wife  does.  It  would  be  an  easy  task  for  him  to  overcome 
the  lusts  of  the  flesh,  for  Christ  has  promised  victory  through  suf- 
fering, and  I  want  to  know  what  other  suffering  a  man  has.  What 
does  the  word  of  God  mean  when  it  tells  us  to  overcome  the  lust 
of  the  flesh?  Does  not  that  mean  everything,  even  if  it  is  equal 
to  the  plucking  out  of  the  eye?  Does  not  God  say  to  pluck  it  out 
and  cast  it  from  you?  It  is  better  to  go  into  heaven  with  one  eye 
than  into  hell  with  two;  and  which  does  a  man  desire,  hell  or 
heaven?  From  the  account  in  the  Advocate  that  I  have  quoted,  it 
looks  as  if  the  majority  desire  hell;  and  from  the  account  and  the 
way  things  look,  if  we  pass  our  opinion,  there  will  be  more  women 
in  heaven  than  men.  Why?  Because  they  suffer  and  endure,  and 
are  found  in  the  prayer  room  and  Sunday  school.  You  tell  me 
that  God  is  not  going  to  favor  women.  He  does  favor  a  nation 
that  reverences,  loves  and  obeys  him,  and  why  will  he  not  exalt  the 
sex  that  observes  and  keeps  his  commandments?  This  is  the 
secret  of  women's  success  "today.  We  must  acknowledge  that  they 
are  gaining  steadily  and  successfully.  Why  is  this?  Because  man 
will  not  suffer.  Man  will  not  overcome;  he  will  not  control  him- 
self. Though  he  is  the  stronger,  he  is  not  the  strongest  character. 
This  is  why  God  compares  woman  to  the  angel.  God  says  he  that 


378  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

controlleth  his  spirit  is  greater  than  he  that  taketh  a  city.  Let  a 
man  make  half  of  the  effort  it  takes  to  take  a  city  and  he  would 
win  the  victory  over  self.  The  woman  is  not  as  strong  in  body, 
and  man  knows  it;  but  he  does  not  treat  her  properly,  or  he  would 
regard  her  health  and  be  considerate  of  her.  What  is  worse  to 
endure  after  health  is  gone — when  many  a  mother  if  it  were  not  for 
leaving  a  house  full  of  children  would  welcome  death?  You  can  tell 
without  asking  the  question.  The  face  tells  the  story  of  her  life, 
that  her  burden  has  been  too  great.  What  has  caused  it?  Married 
life.  The  husband  is  the  cause  of  many  an  hour's  suffering  thai 
God  never  intended.  Christ  came  to  do  away  with  the  lusts  of  the 
flesh,  for  he  plainly  tells  us  so;  and  God  has  led  me  as  much  as 
he  ever  led  Moses's  father-in-law  to  correct  Moses  because  he 
was  injuring  his  health.  It  was  so  wrong  that  God  took  it  up  ani 
had  it  recorded  in  his  word.  He  has  led  me  as  distinctly  to  take 
up  this  cause — to  build  its  foundation  upon  God's  word.  God 
never  intended  a  wife's  life  to  be  a  burden  to  the  injuring  of  her 
health.  Now,  I  say,  let  the  wife  have  her  say  in  regard  to  her 
feelings.  Ex.  25:2:  "Man  that  giveth  it  willingly  with  his  heart/' 
Deut.  4 :29 :  "But  if  from  thence  thou  shalt  seek  the  Lord  thy  God, 
thou  shalt  find  him,  if  thou  seek  him  with  all  thy  heart,  and  with 
all  thy  soul."  But  he  will  not  let  you  find  him  if  you  are  not 
hunting  for  him  willingly,  Paul  said  in  Phil.  4:13:  "But  with- 
out thy  mind  would  I  do  nothing;  that  thy  benefit  should  not  be 
as  it  were  of  necessity,  but  willingly."  How  are  we,  then,  going 
to  get  one  another  to  do  or  sacrifice  unless  they  do  it  willingly? 
There  is  only  one  way  to  make  either  man  or  woman  practice  self- 
denial,  and  that  is  by  love.  The  way  to  get  the  love  of  a  woman 
or  man,  or  neighbor,  husband  or  wife,  and  the  way  to  keep  it,  is 
to  be  toward  one  another  as  God  is  toward  us — kind,  gentle,  tender, 
and  self-sacrificing  as  Christ  was.  It  stands  to  reason  if  you  do 
not  cultivate  the  love  of  God,  he  will  take  that  love  out  of  your 
heart  or  it  will  leave  the  heart  without  being  taken  out.  We  have 
something  to  do  after  we  get  one's  love  in  order  to  keep  it.  Treat 
it  with  indifference,  and  like  a  delicate  bird  the  sweet  love  will  fly 
away.  If  you  wish  to  keep  the  love  of  a  woman  do  not  go  against 
her  will  concerning  the  individual  feeling.  Woman's  will  today 
is  the  saine  as  in  times  of  old.  If  she  does  not  say  "I  will  not"  in 
words,  she  means  it  in  her  heart;  which  has  the  same  effect  upon 
love.  I  Sam.  i  :22 :  "But  Hannah  went  not  up ;  for  she  said  unto 
her  husband,  I  will  not."  It  is  a  good  thing  to  say  "I  will  not" 
when  right.  On  another  occasion  she  said,  "I  will."  You  see  she 
had  a  will.  It  is  not  right  to  give  your  will  away,  so  that  you 
cannot  say  "I  wilLnot"  when  it  is  for  your  good.  We  can  injure 
ourselves  by  being  too  good.  This  was  the  case  with  Moses,  as 


OR,     SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  379 

shown  in  Ex.  18:17,  18.  Though  he  loved  the  people,  and  was 
willing  to  sacrifice,  and  had  a  good  purpose,  yet  his  father-in-law 
said  unto  him :  "The  thing  that  thou  doest  is  not  good.  Thou 
will  surely  wear  away."  God  does  not  want  us  to  do  things  that 
will  injure  our  health  and  break  us  down.  Even  if  we  think  it  i* 
right,  God  does  not.  I  have  found,  when  it  was  almost  too  late, 
that,  like  Moses,  I  have  worn  away,  till  I  wonder  at  times  whether 
I  ever  will  regain  my  health.  If  I  had  seen  this  advice  of  Moses' 
falher-in-law  sooner  I  might  have  lengthened  my  days  and  done 
more  good.  But,  like  Moses,  I  forgot  all  about  myself,  and  when 
people  asked  me  to  do  anything  for  them,  it  made  no  difference 
how  much  of  a  sacrifice  it  required  or  how  tired  I  was,  I  never 
said  "No." 

U  I  said  before,  the  wife  of  the  man  who  handed  me  the  note 
in  jail  Sunday  evening  had  a  black  eye,  and  it  was  whisky  that  did 
it.  Monday  morning  we  appeared  in  the  court  room.  I  tried  to 
get  the  judge  to  let  the  man  go  without  a  fine,  as  they  were  very 
poor  and  he  was  not  at  heart  a  bad  man.  His  wife  said  he  had 
never  struck  her  before.  She  said,  "Sister  Peterson,  I 'know  it  is 
whisky  that  has  done  it/'  Her  eye  looked  so  bad  that  she  had  to 
wear  a  heavy  veil  over  her  face,  and  even  through  the  veil  you 
could  see  it  was  black  and  swollen.  After  the  court  adjourned  I 
went  to  the  judge  and  asked  him  if  he  would  pardon  him  and  let 
him  go.  He  said,  "Mrs.  Peterson,  that  man  should  be  punished." 
I  told  the  judge  I  intended  to  hold  a  cottage  prayer  meeting  at  his 
house  that  evening,  and  I  believed  he  would  live  a  better  life  if  we 
would  all  forgive  him;  but  the  judge  did  not  like  to  let  him  go 
unpunished.  I  pleaded:  "Judge,  let  him  go."  The  judge  turned 
to  go  and  not  listen  to  me,  and  I  just  took  hold  of  his  coat-sleeve 
and  arm  and  said :  "Now,  Judge,  I  want  you  to  let  that  man  go." 
He  smiled  and  said:  ."That  is  just  the  way  with  you.  You  come 
here  and  you  will  not  take  no  for  an  answer,  and  then  I  let  men  go 
that  should  be  punished."  He  stepped  across  the  hall  and  told  his 
clerk  to  write  out  a  pardon.  We  held  the  prayer  meeting,  and  the 
man  started  to  live  a  better  life.  That  was  over  seven  years  ago,  and 
he  has  never  been  in  jail  since.  I  met  him  on  the  street  and  did 
not  know  him,  but  he  knew  me  and  told  me  that  he  was  living  all 
right.  There  are  many  others  I  could  speak  of  that  I  have  taken 
out  of  jail,  among  them  one  who  inherited  the  sin  of  stealing,  for 
his  mother  told  Lawyer  Sangler  so  before  she  died.  I  helped  to 
get  him  out  several  times  and  saved  him  from  seven  years  in  the 
penitentiary ;  but  at  last  he  got  in  for  ten  years  for  an  inherited 
sin.  Here  is  a  clipping  from  a  Denver  newspaper  of  a  little  experi- 
ence I  had  with  him : 


380  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

"FROM  THE  PULPIT  TO  THE  PRISON — INDUCED  A  DRUGGIST  TO  SHOW  A 

REVOLVER. 

"Ten  days  ago  this  brother  (I  will  not  mention  his  name)  went 
to  the  store  with  Mrs.  Peterson  of  3519  Lafayette  street,  who  is 
connected  with  Uzzell's  Tabernacle,  and  returned  one  of  the  revol- 
vers, telling  Haxbey  that  he  would  pay  for  the  other  as  soon  as 
he  could  raise  the  money.  He  took  the  revolvers  on  July  4th. 
He  went  into  Haxbey's  drug  store  at  442  Market  street  and  asked 
Mr.  Haxbey  to  show  him  some  revolvers,  and  then  he  walked  out 
of  the  store  with  them." 

When  I  went  with  him  the  druggist  thought  I  was  his  wife.  1 
told  him  I  was  not.  Then  he  thought  I  was  his  sister.  Such  inter- 
est is  so  seldom  taken  in  this  class  that  people  will  hardly  believe  me 
when  I  tell  them  I  am  not  related,  but  my  work  is  done  for  Jesus' 
sake;  but  they  have  it  fixed  in  their  minds  ever  after  I  give  them 
an  explanation.  After  all  my  efforts  this  poor  brother  went  over 
the  road,  but  I  believe  he  will  yet  be  saved  and  my  labor  was  not 
in  vain.  I  have  done  as  Paul  tells  us  in  I  Cor.  5 :5 :  "To  deliver 
such  an  one  unto  Satan  for  the  destruction  of  the  flesh,  that  the 
spirit  may  be  saved  in  the  day  of  the  Lord  Jesus."  I  have  said 
enough  to  give  you  an  idea  what  the  jail  work  is  like  and  the 
help  those  friendless  boys  need.  I  call  them  all  boys,  no  matter 
how  old  they  are.  That  is  what  their  mothers  would  call  them,  and 
some  way  God  gave  me  just  that  motherly  feeling  for  them  all. 
If  he  had  not  I  could  not  have  done  the  work  I  did.  I  have  taken 
them  out  of  the  jail  and  gotten  them  rooms,  and  taken  thread  and 
thimble  and  needle  and  mended  their  clothes.  I  always  carried 
patches  in  my  pocket.  I  have  often  gone  to  their  rooms  and  stepped 
out  into  the  hall  while  they  would  undress  and  get  into  bed,  and 
then  I  have  gone  into  the  room  and  taken  their  pants  and  almost 
put  a  whole  seat  in  them,  and  sewed  buttons  on ;  and  have  taken  a 
brush  along,  because  I  knew  they  had  none,  and  cleaned  up  their 
clothes.  A  few  hours  after  I  got  them  out  of  the  jail  you  wouldn't 
know  them.  After  I  got  their  clothes  mended  I  went  into  the 
hall  and  they  dressed.  After  I  got  them  all  fixed  up  I  would  say, 
"My  boy,  you  look  better."  Even  his  face  was  brighter,  and  you 
could  see  his  spirit  take  new  courage.  Then  I  gave  them  car  fare 
to  carry  them  out  of  the  city,  away  from  the  police — hundreds  of 
them,  and  have  never  seen  them  iagain  and  suppose  I  never  will 
till  I  meet  them  at  the  bar  of  God.  Now  this  is  the  work  that 
those  nice  Christians  saw  me  doing,  and  when  I  came  out  of  rooms 
and  met  them  they  would  say,  "Where  have  you  been  and  what 
have  you  been  doing?"  As  David  says  in  Ps.  28:3,  they  are  the 
ones  who  speak  nice  to  you,  "but  mischief  is  in  their  hearts."  These 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  381 

are  the  kind  that  God  tells  us  of  in  Lev.  19:16:  "Thou  shalt  not 
go  up  and  down  as  a  tale-bearer  among  thy  people."  I  think  if 
we  would  call  those -people  who  repeat  everything  they  hear  by 
the  bible  name,  "tale-bearer,"  instead  of  brother  and  sister,  there 
would  not  be  so  many  of  them.  I  just  want  to  say  this,  and  after 
I  have  spoken  they  may  mock  on.  (Job  21:31.)  They  think  by 
their  smooth  words  and  smiles  that  I  do  not  know  their  spirit  and 
the  bad  influence  there  is  around  them.  They  must  think  I  am 
dead  to  feeling.  You  can  tell  by  the  feeling  when  one  has  wrong 
thoughts  against  you.  I  can,  I  know;  and  I  have  the  first  time 
to  be  mistaken.  As  Job  says  in  the  27th  verse:  "Behold,  I  know 
your  thoughts,  and  the  devices  which  ye  wrongfully  imagine 
against  me."  Oh,  if  the  church  would  only  do  as  is  said  in  Prov. 
22:10.  Then  we  would  go  after  the  right  one,  and  there  would 
not  be  this  trouble  and  this  talking  about  one  another.  God  says: 
"Cast  out  the  scorner,  and  contention  shall  go  out:  yea,  strife  and 
reproach  shall  cease."  A  brother  quoted  that  passage  to  me  one 
day,  and  he  was  so  blind  that  he  did  not  and  could  not  see  that 
he  himself  was  one  of  the  biggest  fault-finders  and  complainers 
in  the  church.  I  knew  he  could  not  see  himself,  or  he  would  not 
have  talked  as  he  did  or  showed  me  the  scripture.  If  he  could,  he 
might  have  known  he  should  have  been  one  of  the  first  to  go.  I 
would  to  God  we  all  could  see  ourselves  as  easily  as  we  can  see 
others.  I  know  there  would  be  less  talk  and  more  work.  As 
says  in  Gen.  50:20:  "But  as  for  you,  ye  thought  evil 
against  me.  Imt  God  meant  it  unto  good" — to  bring  to  pass  this 
ho..k  (which  without  this  experience  I  would  not  have  been  able 
to  write)  that  I  believe  will  be  the  means  of  helping  much  people. 
Thank  God  that  I  obeyed  him  as  I  did.  The  dear  Lord  proved 
himself  to  me.  He  did,  as  he  says  in  Ex.  23:22:  "I  will  be  an 
niemy  unto  thine  enemies,  and  an  adversary  unto  thine  adversaries/' 
Kvery  one  who  knew  the  class  of  people  I  had  coming  to  my  house 
would  say:  "Mrs.  Peterson.  I  would  be  afraid  to  have  that  kind 
of  men  and  women  around."  Few  know  the  pure,  honest  love  that 
kind  of  people  have  for  one  who  takes  an  interest  in  them.  I  can 
assure  you  they  are  not  the  ones  who  will  harm  you  in  any  way. 
It  is  the  evil-minded,  decent  people  who  will  do  you  harm.  Only 
one  poor  fellow  ever  attempted  to  steal  from  me.  He  was  another 
that  had  inherited  the  sin  of  stealing.  But  he  did  not  take  any- 
thing. One,  however,  without  leave,  took  a  little  change  out  of 
the  safe  that  I  had,  for  street  car-fare.  I  did  have  fifty  dollars 
taken  by  a  woman  I  had  stopping  here,  but  she  did  not  keep  the 
money  twenty- four  hours.  God  surely  made  her  conscience  a  hell. 
I  firmly  believe  the  money  fairly  burned  into  her  heart.  Do  you 
think  God  would  permit  me  to  t»e  injured  and  wronged  when  I 


382  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

was  not  able  and  could  not  afford  it?  He  says  he  will  not  let  us 
go  beyond  what  we  are  able  or  put  a  burden  upon  us  that  we  can- 
not bear,  and  the  Lord  knew  I  was  doing  enough  for  every  one 
that  I  came  in  contact  with  or  that  needed  help  in  any  way.  The 
Lord  knew  I  was  not  able  to  lose  that  money,  and  he  managed  it 
for  me  better  than  the  police  could  have  done.  I  will  tell  you 
the  secret.  I  always  took  the  Lord  for  security  and  held  him 
good  for  the  money.  Now,  you  may  think  I  am  joking,  but  this 
is  the  truth. 

As  I  said,  it  was  a  great  deal  harder  to  stop  this  kind  of  work 
than  to  stop  leading  meetings.  I  will  tell  you  of  four  different 
experiences  I  had  in  the  last  few  years.  I  had  let  everything  go 
and  was  determined  to  study  the  bible  as  the  Lord  had  been  lead- 
ing me.  The  last  sick  man  was  one  who  had  rheumatism.  I  hac 
helped  him  to  get  work.  He  was  taken  sick  and  sent  to  the  hos- 
pital. I  went  to  see  him  every  week,  till  the  nurse  told  me  that 
he  could  not  stay  there  any  longer;  the  hospital  was  crowded  and 
there  was  no  room  for  him.  He  was  able  to  be  up  but  not  able  to 
work.  I  spoke  of  it  in  the  Friday  evening  meeting.  He  was  a 
member  of  the  church,  and  I  was  sure  someone  would  volunteer 
to  do  something,  but  no  one  did.  I  knew  they  were  all  poor,  but 
they  could  have  helped  him  as  I  did.  Well,  I  said :  "Lord,  what 
am  I  to  do?"  I  knew  something  had  to  be  done,  for  he  was  to 
leave  the  hospital  the  next  Monday.  I  thought  I  knew  where  I 
could  get  him  a  room  and  I  went  to  see  about  it.  After  I  had  got 
him  the  room  I  wondered  how  he  could  go  to  my  house  for  meals, 
for  he  could  walk  only  on  crutches.  I  got  him  some  flannel 
underwear,  having  begged  them  one  piece  here  and  another  there, 
till  he  was  dressed  warm.  The  only  thing  he  lacked  now  was 
care-fare.  How  was  I  going  to  get  it  for  him?  By  walking  one 
way  myself,  and  by  cutting  myself  short  on  meat,  I  managed  it, 
so  he  would  get  a  ride  going  down  or  coming  up.  I  did  not  dare 
to  have  the  grocery  bill  larger  one  month  than  another,  and  when 
I  did  any  of  this  kind  of  work  I  had  to  live  on  half  rations  for 
two  or  three  weeks.  He  would  come  up  in  the  morning,  about  10 
o'clock  for  breakfast,  and  then  I  gave  him  lunch  to  keep  him 
from  getting  hungry  till  the  next  morning.  With  a  red-hot  fire 
in  the  stove,  I  placed  his  feet  on  a  chair  near  the  open  oven  door, 
and  with  a  liniment  that  was  good  for  rheumatism  I  rubbed  his 
feet  for  an  hour.  I  knew  I  was  running  a  risk,  for  Mr.  Peterson 
said  I  should  not  do  another  thing  for  him — that  I  had  done 
enough.  But  I  knew  the  Lord  wanted  me  to  do  what  I  did,  and, 
like  Hannah  of  old,  said,  "I  will."  I  knew  the  Lord  had  told  me 
in  his  word  to  obey  my  husband,  as  it  was  fit  in  the  Lord.  But 
he  was  nothing  out  of  his  pocket,  for  I  went  without  things.  Do 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  383 

not  think  that  I  am  the  only  one  that  says  I  will.  I  never  saw  a 
woman  that  amounted  to  anything  that  had  not  a  will.  I  said: 
"Lord,  I  cannot  turn  this  man  out  when  he  is  looking  to  me  for 
help."  So  I  went  on.  One  morning  I  had  this  brother's  feet  on 
the  chair  by  the  stove  rubbing  them  with  all  my  might;  the  per- 
spiration was  running  off  my  face;  when  who  should  come  in  but 
Mr.  Peterson!  He  had  told  me  if  he  came  home  and  found  him 
at  the  house  he  would  throw  him  out.  As  I  saw  him  pass  the 
kitchen  window  I  lifted  my  heart  to  God  and  said:  "Lord,  you 
know  I  am  doing  your  will,  and  now  I  look  to  you  for  protection/' 
When  Mr.  Peterson  saw  this  brother's  feet  swollen  almost  double 
their  natural  size  (one  of  them  he  could  not  touch  to  the  ground), 
he  stood  for  a  moment,  looked  at  the  crutches  that  lay  on  the 
floor,  then  at  him,  and  then  at  me,  and  started  through  the  house 
and  did  not  say  a  word — out  at  the  front  door  and  was  gone.  I 
said:  "My  brother,  the  best  thing  you  can  do  is  to  go.  I  have 
rubbed  your  feet  long  enough."  1  put  him  up  a  lunch,  gave  him 
his  crutches  and  he  went.  I  knew  Mr.  Peterson  would  be  back 
to  the  house  in  an  hour,  for  he  had  just  gone  to  the  shops  to  give 
in  his  reports  and  he  would  stop  in  as  he  went  back  to  work.  I 
said:  "Now,  Lord,  you  know  I  am  ready  for  anything;  let  it 
come."  In  about  an  hour  he  came  in,  got  his  oil-can  and  oiled 
his  wheel,  and  never  said  a  thing  about  the  brother,  and  he  never 
mentioned  it.  I  never  saw  the  time  that  I  feared.  I  knew  the 
Lord  knew  my  heart  in  all  the  work  that  I  did,  and  I  knew  he 
would  take  care  of  me  as  long  as  I  did  his  will  and  was  living 
his  word.  I  was  living  in  I  Tim.  5:10  that  morning,  and  I  did 
not  fear  anything.  This  verse  every  wife  should  live  in.  If  they 
do  so  they  will  have  to  live  in  Col.  3:18,  first:  "Wives,  submit 
yourselves  unto  your  own  husbands,  as  it  is  fit  in  the  Lord."  But 
I  was  living  in  I  Tim.  5:10,  and  could  not  submit  myself  to  the 
will  of  my  husband.  If  I  had  I  would  have  failed  to  do  what 
God  says  wives  should  do  while  they  are  wives,  before  they  become 
widows,  and  that  kind  of  a  widow  the  church  has  to  see  after; 
that  is,  a  widow  indeed  well  reported  of  for  good  works,  and 
these  are  the  works  of  her:  "H  she  have  brought  up  children,  if 
she  have  lodged  strangers — (and  I  had  done  this), — if  she  have 
washed  the  saints'  feet,  if  she  have  relieved  the  afflicted" — and 
that  was  what  I  was  doing  that  morning,  relieving  the  afflicted.  It 
was  harder  than  washing  the  saints'  feet,  for  the  perspiration  was 
running  off  my  face.  As  God's  word  says,  I  surely  "have  dili- 
gently followed  every  good  work,"  and  been  a  faithful  wife  and 
mother.  But  in  order  to  do  the  good  work  I  could  not  submit 
myself  to  my  husband's  will  only  as  "it  was  fit  in  the  Lord."  Hus- 
bands as  a  rule  are  not  willing  that  wives  should  be  bible  chris- 


384  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

tians.  They  are  not  willing  that  they  should  do  anything  outside 
of  their  own  work  and  the  care  of  their  own  families.  That  is 
why  God  does  not  bless  more  of  the  wives  today— 'because  they 
obey  the  husband  and  not  the  Lord.  Pride  and  idleness  are  fos- 
tered. See  what  God  says  about  idleness,  Ezek.  16:49:  "Behold, 
this  was  the  iniquity  of  thy  sister  Sodom,  pride,  fulness  of  bread, 
and  abundance  of  idleness  was  in  her  and  in  her  daughters,  neither 
did  she  strengthen  the  hand  of  the  poor  and  needy."  God  knows 
I  went  hungry  to  give  to  this  poor  brother.  Prov.  19:15:  "An 
idle  soul  shall  suffer  hunger."  Ex.  32:6:  "And  they  rose  up 
early  on  the  morrow,  and  offered  burnt-offerings,  and  brought 
peace-offerings:  and  the  people  sat  down  to  eat  and  to  drink,  and 
rose  up  to  play."  That  is  the  way  the  church  does  today.  They 
go  to  church  Sunday  morning  and  evening  and  play  all  the  week. 
Of  course  we  have  in  every  church  working  men  and  women. 
They  have  prayer-meetings  on  Wednesday  and  the  W.  C.  T.  U. 
meeting,  and  they  gather  in  order  to  do  good;  but  go  to  their 
homes  and  see  if  they  have  a  stranger  at  the  table  that  has  no 
place  to  stay  and  no  money ;  see  if  they  have  a  bed  for  the  stranger ; 
see  if  they  are  helping  the  afflicted,  or  some  poor  hard-working 
widow  who  is  raising  her  family  by  mending  children's  clothes, 
or  some  of  those  poor  girls  that  clerk  in  the  stores  who  have  no 
homes  and  are  sick  half  of  the  time,  with  their  little  wages.  Do 
we  get  interested  in  them,  and  see  if  they  have  money  enough  to 
meet  their  expenses,  or  if  we  can  do  some  little .  thing  for  them, 
or  take  someone  in  to  save  them  from  going  to  the  hospital  and 
receiving  every  kind  of  treatment?  You  know  we  would  not 
let  our  loved  ones  go  or  even  ourselves,  and  we  should  love 
others  as  ourselves.  Husbands,  do  you  know  you  teach  your  wives 
to  be  idle?  I  Cor.  10:7:  "As  it  is  written,  The  people  sat  down 
to  eat  and  drink,  and  rose  up  to  play."  I  know  there  are  more 
married  women  than  widows  that  are  idle.  They,  too,  have  learned 
"to  be  idle,  wandering  about  from  house  to  house;  and  not  only 
idle,  but  tattlers  also,  and  busy-bodies,  speaking  things  which  they 
ought  not."  (I  Tim.  5:13.)  Ask  them  why  they  are  not  doing 
something  for  the  Lord  on  the  bible  plan,  and  the  answer  is,  "My 
husband  will  not  let  me."  Oh,  you  good  little  things!  Did  you 
never  do  anything  but  what  your  husband  lets  you  do?  Then 
he  is  your  god,  and  you  have  not  God.  Mark  that  home,  watch 
it,  and  see  the  end  of  it.  God  will  send  some  kind  of  punishment 
or  affliction ;  and  when  the  Lord  does,  they  are  so  blind  they  cannot 
see  that  it  is  because  of  this  disobedience  arid  idleness.  I  often 
wonder  if  this  is  not  why  there  are  so  many  sickly,  delicate  women 
— that  they  have  not  God's  favor.  Through  their  ill  health  they 
become  idle  and  give  way  to  this  whim  of  talking  too  much  about 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  385 

things   that  are  not  helpful.     What  I   mean  by  this   is,   they  talk 
about  things  that  will  not  help  the  soul. 

Why  I  write  about  these  things  so  much  is,  I  have  been  asked 
mure  questions  on  these  lines  than  on  any  other.  Paul  tells  us, 
I  Cjr.  7:1,  that  he  was  written  to  concerning  these  things.  The 
nniy  difference  is,  they  wrote  unto  Paul  and  they  asked  me.  This 
is  the  cause  of  much  of  the  trouble  in  the  homes.  Wives  think 
they  must  do  as  ungodly,  worldly  husbands  say.  Even  professed 
Christian  husbands  do  not  know  what  God  says;  or  if  they  do, 
they  do  not  care;  or  they  live  and  act  as  if  they  did  not.  Paul 
told  them  in  I  Cor.  7:29:  "But  this  I  say,  brethren,  The  time  is 
short.  It  remaineth,  that  both  they  that  have  wives,  be  as  though 
they  had  none."  That  would  be  a  good  way  to  get  a  lot  of  those 
husbands  spiritual.  They  would  have  to  go  to  God  for  help  to 
•  rcome  their  grouty  selfishness  just  because  their  wives  were 
not  at  home.  Paul  was  talking  to  the  brethren.  If  they  would 
•  go  to  God  to  overcome  their  selfish  desires,  there  would  not  be 
the  trouble  in  married  life  that  there  is.  There  would  not  be  the 
lust  practiced  that  doctor  books  have  to  rebuke,  and  say  that  it 
should  be  only  when  both  agreed  and  the  object  was  for  children. 
You  can't  tell  me  that  either  man  or  woman  can  be  s'piritual  or 
please  God  when  they  cannot  control  their  own  passions  and  make 
married  life  a  burden.  There  is  a  great  mistake  in  the  way  hus- 
bands and  wives  are  to  one  another  from  a  bible  sense.  I  know 
God  tells  us  this  is  a  great  mystery,  and  so  it  is.  They  must  have 
the  love  of  God  or  they  will  go  to  their  graves  ignorant.  This 
relationship  will  be  a  mystery,  whether  saved  or  unsaved.  God 
tells  us,  in  Eph.  5 132,  this  is  a  great  mystery,  and  in  the  verses 
28-33,  tne  proper  relationship  of  husband  and  wife  is  set  forth. 
There  are  too  many  to  whom  this  is  a  great  mystery,  so  much  so 
that  one  or  the  other  is  compelled  to  get  a  divorce.  Why? 
Because  they  have  married  thinking  they  knew  what  love  was,  and 
in  the  place  of  love  it  is  lust.  If  not  that,  then  each  will  try  to  be 
"boss,"  or  to  have  their  own  way.  That  is  outside  of  what  God 
tells  us  to  do  in  his  word — that  husband  and  wife  should  stand 
aside  for  God.  In  the  place  of  that  the  husband  will  say,  "You 
know  the  bible  says  the  woman  was  made  for  the  man;"  and 
they  will  put  into  this  a  low,  evil,  selfish  meaning,  that  woman 
was  made  to  gratify  man.  It  does  not  have  that  meaning,  for  God 
said  she  should  be  his  helpmeet,  not  that  she  should  be  a  slave. 
That  commandment  was  given  before  lust  and  sin  was  ever  in 
the  Garden  of  Eden.  If  husbands  had  to  undergo  the  suffering  of 
bearing  children,  every  other  one,  there  would  never  be  a  third 
one  in  a  family.  Now,  I  know  the  every-day  life  and  experience 
among  the  sickly  wives  of  today;  ?nd  as  I  am  writing  an  every-day 

25    . 


386  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

book,  I  will  put  in  every-day  talk,  whether  every  one  acknowledges 
it  or  not.  I  can  tell  from  their  looks  and  the  spirit  in  their  homes, 
which  speak  louder  than  words.  I  know  this  to  be  true,  and 
doctors  say  the  same,  and  the  majority  will,  too,  if  they  are  truthful. 
Some  have  acknowledged  it  in  all  classes  in  my  work;  and  then 
men  will  say,  "I  am  the  head  of  the  family,"  and  begin  to  show 
their  authority  for  doing  just  as  they  please  and  not  allow  the 
voice  of  their  wives  to  be  heard  in  anything.  Why?  Because  they 
have  read  or  heard  someone  read  I  Cor.  11:3:  "But  I  would 
have  you  know  that  the  head  of  the  woman  is  the  man" — that  is 
what  they  are  pleased  to  hear.  But  they  do  not  want  to  hear  that 
the  head  of  every  man  is  Christ;  and  as  Christ  is  the  head,  he 
does  not  try  to  take  the  man's  will  from  him;  neither  does  Christ 
show  an  ugly  spirit  because  the  man  will  not  do  as  he  would  have 
him  do,  but  is  kind  and  long-suffering  toward  him  and  toward  us 
all.  As  Christ  is  to  the  church,  so  husbands  should  be  to  their 
wives.  This  is  a  great  mystery,  and  the  head  of  Christ  is  God. 
Do  you  see  the  meaning?  God  is  first,  then  Christ,  and  then  the 
man,  and  then  the  woman.  God  filled  his  place,  Christ  his,  and 
man  should  stop  trying  to  hinder  the  woman  from  filling  hers 
before  God,  or  he  will  turn  this  passage  of  scripture  lose  on  him- 
self: "The  first  shall  be  last  and  the  last  first."  I  have  not  only 
suffered  for  food  and  clothing  to  do  this  good  work;  but  to  think 
of  people  trying  to  get  Mr.  Peterson  to  stop  me  in  what  I  knew 
God  had  called  me  to  do !  This  is  why  I  have  had  so  mu'ch  to 
say  in  regard  to  the  relationship  of  husband  and  wife  in  a  bible 
sense.  I  know  you  will  ask  why,  and  I  will  answer  before  you 
ask. 

As  I  told  you,  I  took  the  Lord  for  security  when  it  came  to 
money  matters.  One  day  a  dear  sister  in  Christ  came  to  me  and 
said  her  husband  was  drinking,  and  there  was  a  $25  mortgage  on 
her  furniture;  that  she  had  to  struggle  and  go  without  food  in 
order  to  pay  the  interest;  that  she  was  not  able  to  pay  the  prin- 
cipal, and  she  did  not  know  what  she  would  do.  She  came  to  me 
for  the  money  to  pay  the  mortgage.  I  told  her  I  would  let  her 
have  it  with  no  interest,  and  she  could  pay  me  what  the  interest 
would  amount  to  till  she  had  the  $25  paid.  The  morning  she  came 
for  the  money  Mr.  Peterson  came  home  and  told  me  that  he  had 
some  news  for  me.  He  showed  a  letter  he  had  written  sending  in 
his  .resignation.  I  asked  him  what  he  was  going  to  quit  for.  He 
said:  "If  I  do  not  they  will  discharge  me,  perhaps,  as  there  has 
been  a  little  trouble."  I  looked  to  the  Lord,  and  an  assurance  came 
over  me  that  everything  was  all  right,  for  I  had  been  praying  in 
my  heart  ever  since  Mr.  Peterson  showed  me  the  letter.  He  went 
over  to  the  shops  and  gave  in  the  letter,  and  I  said:  "Lord,  you 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  387 

know  everything  is  in  your  hands,  and  I  will  surely  hold  you 
good  for  Mr.  Peterson's  work,  if  I  let  this  sister  have  the  money. 
You  know,  Lord,  she  is  thy  child,  and  I  have  no  selfish  object  in 
it;  and,  Lord,  do  not  let  anything  come  up  that  would  put  Mr. 
on  out  of  his  place."  I  had  gone  to  the  grocery  store  that 
morning  and  stood  good  for  groceries  for  a  month  for  six  in  a 
family,  and  I  said :  "Lord,  you  know  I  have  taken  you  for  security 
and  will  hold  you  good  for  it  all."  When  Mr.  Peterson  came 
home  that  evening  he  was  still  worrying,  and  I  said:  "You  need 
not  bother  yourself,  for  I  know  the  Lord  will  not  let  you  be  dis- 
charged, neither  will  they  give  you  a  letter  because  you  have  asked 
for  one."  And  thank  God,  they  did  not.  That  is  more  than  six 
years  ago,  and  he  still  holds  his  position  as  foreman  at  $85  a 
month.  I  let  this  sister  have  the  $25,  and  at  the  end  of  six  months 
she  repaid  me  and  was  so  grateful  for  the  favor.  The  man  that 
I  stood  good  for  the  groceries  paid  his  bill  at  the  end  of  the 
month ;  and  the  last  work  of  helping  people  came  to  an  end,  for  I 
knew  the  Lord  had  laid  it  on  me  to  not  only  study  the  bible,  but 
to  write  this  book.  The  only  cases  I  had  on  my  hands  now  were  a 
couple  I  was  trying  to  get  married  that  had  been  living  as  man 
and  wife.  They  had  been  a  burden  on  me  for  over  a  year  at  that 
time.  The  woman  longed  to  live  right,  but  the  man  did  not  seem 
to  care  much  about  it.  He  had  little  use  for  Christians,  and  I  was 
about  six  months  trying  to  get  him  to  think  anything  of  them. 
One  day  I  went  to  his  room  with  her  to  see  what  he  would  do,  as 
she  loved  him  so  that  it  seemed  death  to  her  to  give  him  up.  I 
was  praying  all  the  time  for  the  Lord  to  show  me  how  to  get  hold 
of  his  heart  that  he  could  feel  I  had  an  interest  in  him  as  well 
as  in  her,  and  I  knew  if  I  could  not  accomplish  that  I  could  not 
do  anything  with  him.  I  saw  that  I  had  failed,  and  this  wasn't 
the  first  time.  I  said  to  her,  "Come  on,  let  us  go,"  and  he  said, 
"Don't  be  in  a  hurry,"  and  at  that  he  took  up  a  bottle  of  black- 
berry wine  and  said,  "I  suppose  you  think  you  are  too  good  to 
take  even  a  swallow  with  me."  "No,"  I  said,  "my  dear  boy,  I  do 
not  count  myself  better  than  anyone.  The  only  difference  between 
you  and  I  is  you  are  a  sinner  and  I  am  a  sinner  saved  by  grace." 
He  said,  "Do  you  mean  that?"  and  I  said,  "Yes,  I  do."  Then  he 
said,  "I  am  going  to  see  if  you  do,"  and  he  took  up  a  small  wine- 
glass and  poured  out  a  spoonful  in  the  glass  and  said:  "If  you 
mean  that,  take  that,  and  I  will  believe  you."  I  said,  "Now  I 
want  you  to  believe  me;  there  is  not  one  that  I  know  of  that  I 
would  drink  this  swallow  of  wine  with  but  you" — neither  was 
there.  Now  I  said,  "Do  you  believe  this?"  and  he  said  as  he 
looked  straight  at  me  with  a  sober  look  on  his  face,  "Yes,  Mrs. 
Peterson,  I  believe  what  you  say;"  and  from  that  moment  to  this 


388  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

I  have  had  that  dear  man's  confidence  and  trust.  That  was  seven 
years  ago  now,  and  he  will  tell  you  that  he  trusts  me  as  he  would 
his  own  mother.  He  has  never  asked  me  to  drink  with  him  since, 
and  he  has  been  with  me  on  his  knees  praying  God  to  make  him 
a  good  man.  He  married  the  girl  and  he  makes  a  good  husband, 
and  I  believe  as  much  as  I  believe  that  I  will  enter  heaven  by  the 
grace  of  God  that  I  will  meet  him  there.  When  we  were  ready 
to  go  the  girl  kissed  him  good-bye  and  so  did  I.  They  are  two 
of  a  good  many  who  call  me  "Mamma."  Several  months  after 
that  he  had  a  dream.  He  said  he  dreamed  he  was  going  down  a 
deep,  dark  chasm  and  wanted  to  go  back,  but  when  he  looked  back 
the  steps  had  separated  into  two  parts  and  there  were  three  steps 
in  each  part,  and  they  were  so  far  apart  he  could  not  reach  them 
in  any  way  and  he  could  not  go  back.  He  said  he  dreamed  that 
he  thought  he  might  as  well  go  on,  but  the  farther  down  he  got 
the  darker  it  got;  it  seemed  he  was  lost,  but  he  couldn't  find  any 
other  way  but  to  go  on.  He  said  he  had  not  gone  far  after  he 
realized  his  condition  till  he  met  me  and  I  said,  "Oh,  Charlie,  where 
are  you  going?"  and  he  said  he  told  me  he  did  not  know,  and  then 
I  said  to  him:  "Do  you  know  you  are  going  down  to  hell?  Oh, 
do  not  go  that  way  any  farther,  Charlie,  but  come  and  go  back 
with  me."  He  dreamed  he  told  me  he  could  not  get  back.  He 
said  he  could  see  the  steps  so  plain,  and  that  we  kept  climbing  up 
and  up  and  at  last  we  came  to  those  steps.  I  took  the  lead  Up  the 
dark  chasm  and  he  followed  me.  When  I  got  to  the  steps  they 
were  still  apart  and  I  knelt  down  and  prayed,  and  he  said  after  I 
prayed  the  steps  came  together  and  we  went  up  them  together.  He 
dreamed  he  was  so  glad  to  get  up  out  of  that  dark,  deep  chasm, 
that  when  he  got  to  the  top  of  the  steps  he  woke  up.  It  seemed 
so  plain  that  he  sat  up  in  the  bed  and  wondered  if  it  could  be 
true,  and  I  said :  "Yes,  Charlie,  this  was  true."  He  was  so  over- 
come when  he  was  telling  it  that  he  wept  like  a  child.  He  got  up 
from  the  table  and  left  the  room.  When  he  came  back  he  said : 
"Mamma,  I  thought  I  would  not  tell  of  the  dream  till  after  dinner, 
but  I  couldn't  keep  it  any  longer."  We  were  all  in  tears,  but  they 
were  tears  of  joy.  From  that  on  lie  was  a  different  man.  I  cannot 
believe  but  that  his  name  is  written  in  the  Lamb's  book  of  life. 
When  I  saw  that  I  had  caught  him  with  craftiness  as  Paul  said, 
I  said :  "Now,  Lord,  I  understand  what  Paul  meant  when  he  said 
to  be  all  things  to  all  men."  I  Cor.  9:22:  "To  the  weak  became  I 
as  weak,  that  I  might  gain  the  weak:  I  am  made  all  things  to  all 
men,  that  I  might  by  all  means  save  some."  And  this  I  do  for 
the  gospel's  sake.  By  these  two  little  acts  these  two  precious  souls 
were  saved  from  the  worst  kind  of  hell  in  this  life  and  the  life  to 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  j8p 

The  other  two  that  I  had  on  my  hands  were  not  on  my  heart 
as  these  two  were  at  that  time,  but  have  since  been  a  dreadful 
burden.  But  I  thank  God  she,  too,  has  the  victory.  If  I  had  not 
helped  her  only  God  knows  where  she  would  have  been.  She  will 
say  the  same  as  she  reads  this  book.  How  many  husbands  and 
wives  who  were  separated  God  has  used  me  to  unite  happily,  and 
men  and  women  who  have  lived  together  and  lovers  who  could 
not  understand  one  another  yet  seemed  to  love  one  another!  This 
is  why  I  have  had  so  much  experience  on  these  lines.  Both  men 
and  women  have  come  to  me  with  their  hearts  almost  broken 
and  would  say  to  me :  "You  do  not  know  anything  about  it."  One 
woman  was  a  victim  to  the  desperate  work  of  natural  love.  It 
required  a  year  of  bitter  tears  and  struggling  before  she  could  say 
the  Lord's  will  be  done.  There  were  times  she  was  sick  and  pros- 
trate, and  there  was  not  one  who  knew  the  cause  of  her  sickness 
but  me.  I  have  had  these  cases  in  my  home  when  my  neighbors 
would  tell  my  daughter  if  I  knew  what  they  knew  I  would  not 
have  them  in  the  house.  What  could  I  do?  If  I  threw  them  out 
and  told  them  to  go,  what  would  become  of  them?  Oh,  no,  I  could 
not,  and  I  know  God  would  be  offended,  for  it  was  not  his  will 
that  I  should  turn  my  back  upon  them  when  they  had  no  one  else 
to  go  to  in  this  world  as  a  friend  or  for  comfort.  I  never  did 
turn  either  man  or  woman  away,  no  matter  what  they  did,  as  long 
as  I  was  convinced  that  I  knew  the  purpose  of  their  hearts.  The 
Spirit  would  show  me  that  every  person  who  took  a  misstep  was 
not  a  fallen  man  or  woman,  as  looked  upon  by  humanity.  We 
must  not  call  them  all  murderers  because  some  have  murdered.  In 
that  way  there  is  a  difference.  But  when  it  comes  to  sin,  we  have 
all  sinned.  There  is  no  difference  in  sin,  but  there  are  different 
sins,  and  sin  will  shut  us  out  of  heaven.  As  Jesus  said  when  he 
was  here  on  earth,  in  Luke  13:1-4:  "There  were  present  at  that 
season  some  that  told  him  of  the  Galileans,  whose  blood  Pilate  had 
mingled  with  their  sacrifices."  Oh,  we  think  what  a  dreadful  thing 
that  was!  If  it  had  happened  in  these  days  the  law  would  have 
been  after  them  and  the  papers  would  have  been  full  of  the  crime 
of  Pilate  taking  a  lamb  and  a  human  being  and  mixing  the  blood 
of  that  person  with  the  blood  of  the  lamb  as  a  sacrifice.  You 
know  our  blood  would  chill  at  the  thought  of  it.  But  Jesus,  the 
all-seeing  eye,  can  look  into  your  heart,  and  my  heart — how  we 
are  away  deep  down  in  our  hearts — and  see  how  we  have  for  years 
gone  after  other  gods  and  after  the  world.  Sometimes  our  gods 
are  our  own  wives  and  husbands,  or  home,  or  money.  This  is  as 
much  of  a  sin  in  our  hearts  before  God  as  it  was  for  those  heathen 
to  mingle  human  blood  with  the  blood  of  a  lamb  as  sacrifice.  For 
what  are  we  doing  but  trampling  the  blood  of  Christ  under  our 


390  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

feet,  mixing  and  mingling  with  the  idols  and  gods  in  our  hearts 
the  great  mercy  of  him  who  shed  his  blood  on  Calvary.  Oh,  repent ; 
confess  Christ  and  walk  in  his  steps  and  teach  him  to  your  chil- 
dren. How  many  mothers  raise  big  families  and  never  teach  Christ 
to  their  boys  and  girls.  If  we  have  not  taken  the  life  of  Christ 
upon  ourselves,  we  surely  are  walking  over  the  cross — we  are  not 
carrying  it.  In  the  second  verse  of  the  same  chapter,  "Jesus 
answering,  saic  unto  them,  Suppose  ye  that  these  Galileans  were 
sinners  above  all  the  Galileans,  because  they  suffered  such  things?" 
5th  verse:  "I  tell  ye,  Nay;  but,  except  ye  repent,  ye  shall  all  like- 
wise perish."  You  see,  they  had  never  thought  of  their  sins  in  the 
light  that  Christ  showed  them.  To  make  this  word  more  impres- 
sive he  continued  to  say,  in  the  4th  verse:  "Or  those  eighteen, 
upon  whom  the  tower  in  Siloam  fell,  and  slew  them,  think  ye  that 
they  were  sinners  above  all  men  that  dwelt  in  Jerusalem?"  5th 
verse:  "I  tell  ye,  Nay;  but,  except  ye  repent,  ye  shall  all  like- 
wise perish."  So  let  us  look  at  little  sins  and  repent,  for  except 
we  repent  the  sin  is  there.  It  may  be  so  small  that  we  are  not 
able  to  see  it ;  but  looking  to  God  through  Christ  and  the  Holy 
Ghost,  will  convict  you  of  it.  The  Lord  never  intended  we  should 
make  a  big  ado  over  big  sins  and  walk  over  or  pay  no  attention  to 
little  ones.  That  is  what  the  Lord  warns  us  against — straining  at 
a  gnat  and  swallowing  a  camel.  When  my  neighbor  said  if  I  knew 
what  she  knew  I  would  not  have  them  in  the  house,  like  hundreds 
of  others,  she  did  not  know  me.  I  know  if  it  had  been  her  girl 
or  boy  that  had  done  as  bad  or  worse,  she  would  not  have  turned 
them  out.  She  would  have  talked  to  them  as  a  good  mother 
would  do — -just  as  I  did  with  these  children.  Though  they  were 
grown,  they  were  some  mother's  children,  and  they  would  always 
be  children  to  their  mothers.  All  I  did  was  to  take  the  place  of 
their  mothers  with  them.  This  enabled  them  to  overcome  evil  and 
give  themselves  to  the  Lord. 

After  I  got  these  two  married,  I  said :  "I  am  ready  to  RO  on 
with,  my  book,"  an'd  began  work  on  it.  I  had  given  up  all  but  the 
jail  work.  One  Sunday  at  church  a  dark-complected  man  wished  to 
see  me.  I  do  not  remember  who  the  brother  was  that  told  me  he 
wished  to  speak  to  me.  I  went  back  to  where  he  was,  and  he  said : 
"Is  this  Sister  Peterson?"  He  then  asked  me  if  I  remembered  a  man 
I  got  out  of  jail  who  had  a  broken  nose.  I  told  him  I  had  gotten 
two  or  three  out  of  jail  who  had  broken  noses,  and  I  did  not  know 
which  one  he  meant.  Then  he  said  he  would  like  to  talk  with  me 
alone.  He  said :  "I  am  in  trouble,  and  this  man  pointed  you  out 
to  me  and  said  he  knew  if  any  one  could  help  me  you  could."  *  I 
told  him  I  would  be  at  the  jail  that  afternoon;  my  time  was  all 
taken  up  and  I  could  not  see  him  before  Monday  morning,  and 


'  OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  3QI 

nut  then  unless  he  came  early,  as  I  had  an  appointment  and  must 
fill  it.  He  did  not  come  Monday  morning;  but  when  I  returned 
home  I  found  he  had  called  and  left  a  note  begging  me  to  come 
to  the  hotel  without  fail  and  by  no  means  to  disappoint  him.  It 
was  a  pitiful  note.  But  the  day  was  dreadful  warm,  and  I  was  so 
tired,  and  there  was  a  black  cloud  gathering  in  the  west,  and  if 
looked  so  much  like  rain,  that  I  said :  "I  will  not  go."  Then  I 
read  the  note  again  and  fl  touched  my  heart.  I  said:  "It  would 
be  dreadful  for  me  to  turn  a  deaf  ear  and  that  soul  be  lost."  1 
had  fully  made  up  my  mind  not  to  do  another  thing  for  either  man 
or  woman  or  child,  for  I  knew  I  could  not  and  study  and  write 
my  life  as  I  should.  I  could  not  see  him  the  next  day,  because  I 
was  going  to  Golden,  a  little  village  twelve  miles  from  Denver,  and 
would  not  be  back  till  late.  The  clouds  were  gathering  in  the 
•i.  I  thought  perhaps  I  could  get  to  the  hotel  before  it  began 
to  fain.  I  put  on  my  raincoat  and  got  onto  my  wheel  and  started; 
hut  the  storm  came  before  I  was  half  way  there  and  the  rain  poured 
down.  I  got  real  wet,  but  it  did  not  hurt  me.  I  took  off  my  ulster, 
as  it  was  dripping  with  rain,  and  hung  it  in  the  hall  and  went  to 
this  man's  room.  He  told  me  his  sad  story,  and  asked  more  of 
me  than  I  felt  able  to  do,  but  I  saw  he  was  almost  out  of  his  mind. 
He  was  meditating  on  taking  his  own  life.  I  took  away  from  him 
Numc  morphine  that  was  on  the  stand,  and  made  him  a  promise 
that  would  give  him  hope,  telling  him  I  would  see  what  I  could 
do  after  I  returned  from  Golden.  I  did  not  like  the  spirit  that 
was  about  him  and  the  effect  of  his  presence  upon  my  heart.  He 
told  me  he  had  once  been  a  minister  of  the  gospel ;  but  he  was 
a  tramp  now,  if  there  is  such  a  thing.  Surely  he  was  a  prodigal 
and  far  away  from  God,  even  more  so  than  the  prodigal  of  old, 
for  he  had  once  been  a  servant  of  God  and,  as  God  says,  his  "last 
condition  was  worse  than  his  first."  I  could  not  keep  my  eyes 
off  his  dirty  white  shirt.  I  did  not  mind  the  dirt  so  much,  but  it 
was  stained  with  tobacco  juice,  and  it  hurt  me  to  think  that  a 
servant  of  God  would  get  so  low  as  to  defile  his  temple  and  his 
clothes  with  that  dirty  weed.  I  could  not  get  the  heart  to  promise 
him  anything,  yet  I  did.  On  my  way  home  I  asked  the  Lord  to 
forgive  me  for  those  evil  thoughts  and  let  me  see  this  man's  soul 
and  not  his  looks.  I  said:  "Lord,  it  may  be  myself  and  not  him 
that  makes  me  feel  as  I  do;  but,  Lord,  you  know  my  heart.  It 
makes  no  difference  to  me  how  humanity  looks  upon  him  or  what 
he  has  done,  if  you  want  me  to  help  him  out  some  way."  Still  I 
could  not  feel  the  interest  in  my  heart,  and  then  this  scripture 
came  to  me — I  Sam.  16:7:  "But  the  Lord  said  unto  Samuel,  Look 
not  on  his  countenance,  or  on  the  height  of  his  stature;  because  I 
have  refused  him :  for  the  Lord  seeth  not  as  man  seeth ;  for  man 


3Q2  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

looketh  on  the  outward  appearance,  but  the  Lord  looketh  on  the 
heart."  And  I  said :  "Lord,  I  want  you  to  do  the  seeing  for  me 
and  lead  me."  I  had  not  in  all  the  twenty  years  had  an  experience 
like  this  one.  When  he  told  me  his  story  it  did  not  affect  my 
heart  as  much  as  his  note  did.  There  was  something  about  his 
words  that  seemed  cold  and  icy,  and  the  feeling  kept  coming  to 
me  that  the  Lord  had  refused  him.  He  was  the  only  one  I  had 
ever  met  in  all  my  life  that  I  really  felt  God  had  refused,  and  I 
said :  "Lord,  let  me  know  as  you  did  Samuel,  and  I  will  not  do 
anything."  I  told  him  to  come  Wednesday  afternoon.  Still  I 
had  this  same  feeling,  and  I  said  to  myself:  "Surely  I  have  back- 
slidden on  this  one  line."  I  thought  it  might  be  that  the  Lord 
did  not  lead  me  because  I  had  so  fully  made  up  my  mind  not  to 
do  anything  outside  of  my  iibook  and  the  study  of  the  bible.  I 
thought  I  had  sinned  by  making  up  my  mind  in  my  own  strength 
and  not  recognizing  God  enough  in  the  resolution.  My  mind  was 
so  undecided  and; I  could  get  no  leading,  that  I  asked  the  Lord  to 
reveal  to  me  what  I  ought  to  do.  And  what  do  you  think  came 
to  me?  Now  notice;  I  had  not  heard  one  word  about  him,  good 
or  bad.  He  was  ;a  stranger  to  me  in  every  way.  That  night  I 
dreamed  he  came  into  the  kitchen  and  I  was  on  my  knees  scrub- 
bing the  floor.  I  looked  up,  and  there  he  stood,  in  his  shirt  sleeves, 
with  no  vest  or  coat  on,  and  his  suspenders  hanging  down  off  his 
shoulders.  I  said:  "My  brother,  why  did  you  come  in  here  like 
this?"  Then,  in"  the  dream,  the  words  came  to  me,  "A  whore- 
monger," and  I  thought  I  asked  the  Lord  if  he  was  a  whore- 
monger, and  I  woke  up.  I  wondered  again  if  it  was  him  or  if  my 
heart  was  not  right,  and  yet  I  could  not  make  up  my  mind  that 
it  was  me.  All  the  next  day,  while  I  was  at  Golden,  I  could  not 
get  this  dream  out  of  my  mind.  1  had  gone  up  with  a  couple 
who  were  to  be  married  there.  I  asked  God  to  show  me  the 
same  dream  again,  if  the  man  was  that;  and  I  dreamed  it  the 
second  time,  plainer  than  before.  I  was  again  down  on  my  knees 
scrubbing,  but  it  was  shown  to  me  what  the  scrubbing  meant — • 
humility.  After  my  hard  work  for  that  man  he  humiliated  -me 
by  talking  scandalously  about  me. 

As  I  said,  I  was  scrubbing,  and  this  time  my  feet  were  against 
the  door  and  he  crowded  in,  pushing  my  feet  as  he  came  through 
the  door.  I  dreamed  I  got  up  and  said :  "This  is  no  way  for 
you  to  do."  As  I  said  this  he  held  out  his  arms  to  me,  and  \the 
same  word  came  again — "whoremonger" — and  I  woke  up.  I  said: 
"Lord,  this  is  from  you.  Surely  you  have  refused  him,  and  you 
have  shown  me,  as  you  did  Samuel,  to  have  nothing  to  do  with 
him."  When  he  came  Wednesday  afternoon  I  told  him  I  could 
do  nothing  for  him  and  I  never  saw  such  a  look  of  despair  pass 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  393 

over  anyone's  face  as  came  over  his.  I  thought  it  would  crush 
him  when  I  told  him  I  could  not  do  anything  for  him.  I  could 
not  help  watching  his  face,  as  the  expression  spoke  more  to  me 
than  words.  Still  my  heart  was  rot  moved  and  I  let  him  go,  and 
even  bade  him  good-bye.  As  I  was  hooking  the  screen  door  the 
thought  came  to  me  that  I  had  not  prayed  with  him.  Almost  the 
first  thing  the  Lord  leads  me  to  do  is  to  pray,  but  it  did  not  come 
to  me  till  he  was  outside  the  door.  I  felt  so  bad  to  think  I  had 
forgotten  to  pray  that  my  heart  condemned  me,  so  I  said,  "Come 
back,  and  let  us  pray."  I  could  see  that,  no  matter  what  he  had 
done,  his  heart  was  surely  crushed.  We  knelt  down  and  prayed. 
After  I  prayed  I  asked  him  to  pray.  I  never  saw  any  one  in  my 
life  struggle  to  get  hold  of  God  as  he  did,  and  I  said:  "Dear 
Lord,  bear  with  him,  and  do  bless  him,  and  let  me  help  him  this 
once."  His  clothes  looked  so  shabby  and  dirty.  As  we  rose  from 
our  knees  I  said:  "Brother  R — ,  I  will  help  you  out  this  one 
time,  if  you  will  only  stand  as  a  Christian  and  win  souls  for  the 
Lord."  I  could  not  get  over  a  minister  of  the  gospel  getting  down 
like  this  with  no  one  to  help  him,  so  1  told  him  to  meet  me  at  the 
postoffice  at  2  o'clock  and  I  would  send  twenty-^five  dollars  to 
Pueblo  for  his  clothes ;  they  were  held  there  for  room  rent-  and 
board.  In  a  few  days  the  trunk  came.  He  had  two  good  suits 
of  clothes  and  an  ^overcoat  and  other  things  that  were  worth  a 
great  deal  more  than  twenty-five  dollars.  In  a  day  or  two  I  had 
him  fixed  up  so  you  would  not  know  him.  He  would  pray  and 
ask  a  blessing  at  the  table  and  promise  so  faithfully  that  he  would 
be  a  different  man.  These  hardships,  he  said,  had. taught  him  a 
lesson  he  would  never  forget.  In  order  to  give  him  a  start  in  the 
work  I  began  the  cottage  prayer-meetings  again,  two  a  week.  I 
thought  he  could  get  the  Spirit  by  leading  those  meetings,  and  it 
wouldn't  be  long  till  he  could  start  out  as  a  soul-winner  for  God 
and  I  could  return  to  the  work  I  had  promised  God  I  would  do. 
We  had  three  or  four  prayer-meetings,  and  some  way  he  did  not 
take  hold  as  I  wanted  to  see  him.  I  said:  "Brother  R— -,  I  want 
you  to  get  down  to  business.  I  have  led  those  prayer-meetings 
long  enough  and  I  want  you  to  take  them  off  my  hands.  If  I  had 
known  you  were  not  going  to  take  any  interest  in  them  I  never 
would  have  gone  to  the  trouble  I  have."  I  had  already  fixed  up 
a  room  (for  him  and  was  doing  his  washing  and  he  was  eating 
at  my  house,  and  I  knew  it  was  time  he  was  looking  out  for  him- 
self; that  he  had  had  time  enough,  if  Jiis  heart  was  right,  for 
God  to  help  him.  One  day  he  showed  me  a  note  from  a  woman, 
and  then  I  knew  why  he  had  the  spirit  about  him  that  he  had.  I 
went  to  work  and  put  a  stop  to  that.  Then  he  got  acquainted  with 
a  young  girl  from  Brother  Gravett's  church,  and  Brother  Gravett 


394  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

headed  him  off  on  that,  and  he  had  to  turn  his  thoughts  in  another 
direction.  I  had  been  praying  for  the  money  that  I  had  let  him 
have  out  of  the  hundred  dollars  I  had  gotten  from  my  father.  To 
keep  Mr.  Peterson  from  knowing  I  had  loaned  the  money,  I  took 
paper  and  rolled  it  in  with  the  bills,  so  that  the  roll  was  as  large 
as  before  I  took  the  money  out.  Every  pay  day  I  borrowed  the 
money  from  my  grocery  man  till  Mr.  Peterson  counted  it,  then 
I  returned  it.  I  also  borrowed  several  times  from  my  niece's  hus- 
band for  that  purpose,  for  I  had  taken  the  Lord  for  security  and  I 
knew  it  would  come  out  all  right.  I  did  it  just  to  avoid  trouble, 
for  it  was  nothing  dishonest.  It  was  my  own  money.  I  did  noc 
even  have  a  fright  to  my  own  money  Without  trouble,  so  I  took 
this  means  to  help  this  poor  man.  I  knew  I  had  gotten  back  the 
money  every  time  before,  and  I  was  sure  I  would  this  time.  Yet 
the  thought  would  come  that  perhaps  the  Lord  would  punish  me 
in  that  way  for  not  heeding  my  dream,  but  I  prayed  just  the  same. 
Soon  a  brother  came  to  me  and  said:  "I  would  like  to  help 
Brother  R — ,  and  I  will  give  you  fifteen  dollars."  Perhaps  you 
think  I  did  not  thank  him,  but  I  thanked  God  more;  and  I  took 
courage  to  pray  for  the  other  ten.  One  day  a  letter  came  from  a 
little  -town  near  Leadville  with  ten  dollars  in  it,  telling  me  to  use 
the  money  as  I  saw  fit.  That  made  up  the  twenty-five  dollars,  and 
how  glad  I  was,  for  Mr.  Peterson  always  knew  just  how  much 
money  we  had,  and  to  satisfy  him  I  always  gave  him  an  account 
of  what  I  spent.  Brother  R —  said  as  soon  as  he  got  the  Spirit 
he  would  go  to  work,  and  the  first  money  he  got  I  should  have. 
The  Lord  knew  he  never  intended  to  pay  me,  so  he  provided  a 
way  himself.  Some  might  say:  "You  were  not  right  in  taking 
the  money  as  you  did."  I  knew  I  was  right,  and  I  have  the  bible 
to  ;back  me  in  it,  for  my  heart  was  honest.  I  did  not  intend  to 
use  that  money  and  not  get  it  back.  It  was  not  for  an  evil  pur- 
pose, but  for  a  good  one.  It  only  meant  sacrifice  to  me.  That 
money  was  as  much  mine  as  it  was  Mr.  Peterson's.  So  many  think 
a  woman  has  not  right  to  the  purse-strings.  People  looking  at  it 
in  that  way  would  say  it  was  his  money.  Now,  stop  to  think. 
When  a  single  man  draws  his  month's  wages  he  cannot  say  the 
money  is  his  till  he  goes  to  the  hotel  and  pays — not  only  for  the 
food  he  jeats,  but  he  must  pay  the  cook;  and  he  must  pay  the 
washerwoman  for  washing  his  clothes,  and  he  must  pay  enough 
so  she  can  live  while  she  is  doing  his  work;  he  must  pay  his  room 
rent,  not  only  for  the  room,  but  he  must  pay  enough  to  support  the 
chambermaid.  You  see,  he  keeps  three  in  the  family,  in  order  to 
keep  himself — the  cook,  the  washerwoman,  and  the  chambermaid; 
yet  you  never  hear  that  single  man  contending  with  these  three 
women  as  to  what  they  do  with  their  money.  But  let  him  get 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  395 

married  and  he  will  contend  with  the  one  woman  about  what  she 
should  spend  of  the  money  that  would  make  up  for  the  three 
women,  though  he  has  been  keeping  those  three  women  for  years>, 
to  say  nothing  of  the  mending  of  his  clothes.  A  saving  wife  will 
make  a  pair  of  socks,  or  shirt,  or  underwear  last  as  long  after  they 
need  mending  as  they  did  before.  Gentlemen,  if  you  do  not  believe 
this  to  be  true,  go  to  your  dear  old  white-haired  mother,  who  has 
had  years  of  experience,  and  she  will  tell  you  the  same.  Not  half 
of  the  young  stylish  housewives  of  today  can  you  go  to  and  obtain 
an  answer  to  that  question.  They  throw  garments  away  as  soon 
as  they  are  a  little  worn.  They  haven't  time  to  mend  them.  It 
takes  all  their  time  to  keep  up  with  the  styles.  When  you  compel 
your  wife  to  give  an  account  of  every  five-cent  piece,  and  say  the 
money  is  yours,  you  make  of  her  a  slave,  and  deny  her  the  rights  of 
a  man  or  woman  who  works  for  wages.  This  helps  to  bring  on 
the  pale  face  and  care-worn  look.  It  is  not  work  that  causes 
her  health  to  fail ;  it  is  care  and  anxiety  and  responsibility — nor 
work.  God  knows  it  is  not.  If  it  was  work,  why  did  it  not  take 
the  bloom  from  her  cheek  before  marriage?  It  does  not  take  the 
healthy  look  from  a  man's  face  to  labor.  I  say  no — it  is  not  work. 
There  must  be  some  other  reason  for  so  many  pale-faced  women. 
Unhappiness  is  one  of  the  main  causes ;  an  unhappy  mind  is  worse 
than  any  disease  of  the  body.  The  woman  has  a  king  over  her, 
and  she  is  his  slave — the  one  he  calls  his  wife.  She  does  what  it 
has  taken  three  women  to  do,  besides  taking  care  of  the  babies 
day  and  night.  She  cannot  come  and  go,  and  do,  and  be  a  free 
moral  agent.  She  is  over  the  cook-stove  or  washtub,  or  sewing  or 
mending,  or  looking  after  the  children.  If  she  has  a  chance  to  go 
out  for  a  change  that  would  encourage  her,  her  husband  is  angry 
about  it  if  she  goes  too  often  or  stays  too  long.  Do  you  know 
that?  I  know  more  than  one  man  who  is  glad  that  his  wife  has 
children  so  fast  that  she  can't  get  out.  I  have  the  first  man  to  see 
who  will  stay  home  and  let  his  wife  go.  Tell  me  your  wife  does 
not  become  a  slave!  I  would  not  say  so  much  about  this  if  I 
could  see  even  one  husband  nourishing  and  cherishing  his  wife 
and  giving  her  the  love  and  interest  that  she  demands  in  order  to 
keep  up  under  these  duties.  If  he  would,  her  life  would  not 
become  a  burden.  Treat  her  as  a  wife  or  mother,  not  as  a  waiter 
or  slave.  Can  you  not  see  that,  like  Moses,  she  is  wearing 
av.ay  in  a  good  cause?  God  is  not  pleased  with  such  work.  The 
work  of  a  wife  and  mother  should  be  the  joy  of  her  life.  The  Lord 
says  every  one  should  bear  his  own  burden,  and  it  is  right  they 
should;  but  when  we  are  the  cause  of  others  having  burdens,  then 
Christ  tells  us  we  should  bear  one  another's  burdens.  There  is  no 
one  in  this  world  more  in  need  of  some  one  to  help  her  bear  her 


396  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

burdens  than  a  wife  and  mother.  Who  should  be  the  one?  The 
husband,  for  he  is  the  cause  of  the  burden.  He  thinks  he  does 
when  he  labors  all  day ;  but  I  have  tried  to  make  it  plain  that  more 
than  this  is  required.  I  have  often  said  if  there  was  such  a  thing 
as  one  working  their  way  to  heaven,  or  works  getting  us  into 
heaven,  it  would  be  the  mother — one  who  had  raised  from  five  to 
seven  or  more  children.  Her  reward  should  be  greater  than  that 
of  any  other,  except  a  soul-winner  for  God.  Her  crown  shoull 
outshine  the  crowns  of  any  in  that  haven  of  rest;  and  any  man 
who  cannot  see  this  and  live  it  should  by  no  means  have  a  wife. 
The  man  who  will  be  gentle,  kind  and  self-sacrificing — one  who 
will  live  such  a  life  as  that — will  have  a  happy  home,  for  God 
surely  would  bless  him  in  this  life  whether  he  was  converted  or  not. 

This  is  why  I  took  the  twenty-five  dollars.  I  have  done  this 
but  two  or  three  times,  when  really  I  felt  it  a  case  of  necessity ;  and 
I  pity  a  Christian  who  cannot  trust  the  Lord  in  a  case  like  that.  I 
can  trust  him  with  my  soul,  and  I  surely  can  with  my  pocketbook. 
I  know  that  is  the  most  tender  place  with  the  majority,  unless  it  is 
their  lust,  and  they  would  hang  before  they  would  acknowledge 
that.  The  only  way  to  have  happy  homes  is  to  go  to  God,  even 
after  you  are  converted,  to  be  complete  in  this  experience  that  I 
have  been  telling  you  of.  I  Thess.  4:3:  "For  this  is  the  will  of 
God,  even  your  sanctification,  that  ye  should  abstain  from  fornica- 
tion." This  blessing  will  take  out  all  selfishness  and  lusts  and 
desires  of  the  world.  Then  doctor  books  would  not  have  to  advise 
people  to  imitate  the  lower  animals.  We  ought  to  be  ashamed  that 
doctors  should  deem  it  necessary  to  advise  the  human  race  to  take 
the  animal  for  an  example.  You  will  find  this  in  the  doctor  book 
called  "The  Searchlight;  or,  Light  on  Dark  Corners."  If  we 
take  Christ  and  his  blessing,  we  will  not  have  to  take  animals  as  an 
example,  and  wives  can  be  a  blessing  to  their  husbands  and  hus- 
bands to  their  wives,  and  not  a  burden. 

Another  reason  I  did  not  say  anything  about  the  twenty-five 
dollars :  the  Lord  tells  us  not  to  let  the  right  hand  know  what  the 
left  hand  does.  When  Nehemiah  went  up  to  view  the  walls  of 
Jerusalem  he  had  to  go  by  night  and  not  let  anyone  know  any- 
thing about  it;  if  he  had,  it  only  meant  trouble.  When  Gideon 
obeyed  the  call  of  God  he  did  not  dare  to  let  his  own  family  know 
it  till  he  had  done  the  will  of  God.  Afterward  it  was  all  right 
with  Gideon's  father,  and  so  it  will  be  with  Mr.  Peterson,  and 
that  is  why  I  am  writing  it  in  this  book.  When  some  of  the  chil- 
dren of  God  were  taken  prisoners,  did  not  the  king's  servant  take 
food,  unbeknown  to  the  king,  off  the  king's  table  to  feed  the  chil- 
dren of  God?  Did  not  the  Lord  himself  do  things  without  an 
explanation,  even  to  his  own  mother?  When  I  can  give  the  word 


OR,     SEEKING     DIAMONDS     IN     THE     ROUGH  397 

of  God  where  he  says  not  to  put  confidence  in  the  one  who  lies  in 
your  own  bosom,  and  as  long  as  I  have  been  honest  and  right  in 
all  my  dealings  toward  Mr.  Peterson,  and  I  know  from  God's 
word  that  my  own  heart  is  right  before  him,  I  can  go  ahead  doing 
the  will  of  God  with  a  clear  conscience  and  a  heart  like  Paul  in 
Rom.  8:1:  "There  is  therefore  now  no  condemnation."  I  will 
go  on  and  finish  my  story. 

I  will  tell  you  how  I  was  rewarded  for  helping  this  man.  I 
saw  he  would  not  do  anything  for  himself  in  Denver,  for  the 
women  were  in  his  way,  and  he  was  willing  they  should  be.  It  was 
even  as  God  had  warned  me  in  the  dream.  I  said :  "Is  it  possible 
that  this  is  the  second  time  I  have  met  a  whoremonger,  and  the 
only  one  I  ever  had  any  dealings  with?"  I  wonder  yet  if  such 
a  thing  could  be  possible;  but  I  have  had  to  suffer  every  time  I 
disobeyed  the  leadings  of  the  Lord,  and  it  has  taken  me  longer  to 
learn  this  lesson  than  any  other  in  my  Christian  life.  Though 
Brother  R —  meant  it  to  me  for  evil  when  he  persecuted  me,  God 
worked  it  out  for  my  good,  for  he  keeps  us  in  the  hollow  of  his 
hand,  and  I  would  like  to  know  where  the  man  or  woman  is  who 
can  harm  us.  When  I  could  not  get  him  to  take  any  interest  in 
the  prayer-meetings,  I  thought  if  we  could  get  him  out  of  Denver 
perhaps  he  would  do  better  and  would  get  his  mind  off  of  women ; 
so  I  got  him  minister's  rates  and  gave  him  a  recommendation 
to  Doctor  Clark,  he  promising  me  that  he  would  explain  his  weak- 
nesses when  he  got  up  there  and  that  he  would  let  women  alone! 
I  asked  the  Doctor  to  give  him  a  helping  hand.  In  about  two 
weeks  he  came  back  to  Denver,  one  Saturday  afternoon.  I  was 
getting  ready  to  go  to  one  of  my  appointments  in  the  mountains, 
and  as  I  was  packing  my  valise  he  came  in.  I  told  him  where  I 
was  going,  and  nothing  would  do  ,but  that  I  must  go  and  help 
him  with  a  meeting  he  had  been  holding  in  one  of  the  little  moun- 
tain towns ;  he  thought  that  in  four  or  five  days'  meeting  there 
would  be  a  wonderful  harvest  reaped  for  the  Lord.  I  was  not 
led  to  go;  something  seemed  to  hold  me.  While  I  was  dressing 
he  got  my  daughter  and  a  lady  stopping  with  me  to  persuade  me 
to  go  up  there  with  him  and  help  him  finish  the  meeting.  I 
thought  maybe  I  could  do  more  good  there  than  to  go  where  I 
intended.  But  again  I  found  that  I  could  not  take  a  step  and  have 
success  without  being  led  of  the  Lord.  I  wonder  how  it  is  that 
others  can  go  on  as  they  do  and  hardly  know  whether  they  are 
led  of  the  Spirit  or  not  and  never  get  into  any  trouble.  I  could 
see  this  brother  was  very  uneasy.  Before  we  were  half  way  there 
he  said:  "Sister  Peterson,  you  must  not  tell  anyone  up  there 
that  I  am  a  married  man."  I  said:  "Brother  R— ,  are  you 
ashamed  that  you  are  married?  I  don't  know  why  you  should  be, 


398  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

but  that  is  none  of  my  business,  and  I  am  not  going  up  there  to 
tell  people  about  your  affairs."  I  was  satisfied  before  the  train 
stopped  that  there  was  something  wrong.  While  I  was  getting 
ready  I  was  led  to  take  my  scrapbook  with  me,  which  contained 
clippings  from  the  papers  and  an  account  of  a  good  deal  of  my 
work.  In  this  I  knew  I  was  prompted  by  the  Spirit,  for  it  came 
repeatedly  to  me.  I  said :  "Lord,  I  will  not  need  that ;  I  have 
never  taken  it  to  my  meetings,  but  I  will  take  it,"  and  I  learned 
afterward  why.  Before  we  got  to  the  mountain  town  he  told  me 
of  a  young  girl  who  played  the  organ.  I  said  to  him:  "Brother 
R — ,  it  seems  to  me  you  have  not  your  mind  very  much  on  the 
meeting."  Then  he  turned  the  conversation  on  something  else,  in 
order  to  keep  me  from  giving  him  a  dressing-down,  for  I  had 
already  given  him  two  good  talkings.  I  could  see  women  were 
his  curse.  We  stopped  at  Brother  T — 's,  a  lovely  Christian  family, 
and  before  breakfast  the  next  morning  I  could  see  something  was 
the  matter.  I  said :  "Lord,  help  me  to  keep  my  mouth  shut,  for 
I  do  not  want  to  get  in  trouble  up  here  among  strangers."  We 
got  through  with  the  meeting  all  right  over  Sunday,  but  I  could 
see  that  one  of  the  women  in  the  audience  avoided  me.  I  thought 
perhaps  I  might  be  mistaken.  I  knew  I  had  not  said  anything,  and 
did  not  intend  to,  for  I  feared  to  injure  the  meetings,  and  I  was 
going  to  do  my  part  to  make  them  a  success.  Sunday  evening  the 
landlady  of  the  hotel  asked  me  to  stay  all  night  with  her.  I  did 
so,  and  the  next  morning  she  asked  me  if  Brother  R —  had  a 
family — if  he  was  a  married  man.  I  could  not  say  no,  neither 
could  I  refuse  to .  tell  her,  for  that  would  start  suspicion  right 
away.  I  knew  it  was  nothing  that  would  harm  him  if  he  was  right, 
and  I  said :  "Yes,  he  has  a  wife  and  two  or  three  children."  When 
I  went  over  to  Sister  T — 's  for  dinner  I  told  her  the  same,  for  1 
knew  Sister  M —  would  tell  her.  Sister  T —  asked  if  he  was  not 
divorced.  I  said:  "His  wife  does  not  talk  like  it  in  her  letters, 
as  I  have  seen  some  of  them."  That  is  all  I  said.  It  was  told  me 
that  he  had  told  this  woman  not  to  say  anything  to  me,  for  I  was 
jealous  of  him  and  might  make  him  trouble.  I  could  not  but  be 
surprised  that  he  would  think  I  would  tell  a  falsehood  for 
him,  when  I  would  not  for  myself  or  even  try  to  straighten  any- 
thing to  keep  from  suffering.  I  knew  if  he  was  right  he  wouldn't 
care  who  knew  he  was  married.  This  talk  that  I  was  jealous  of 
him  was  soon  all  over  the  mining  camp.  The  same  afternoon  two 
sisters  of  the  church  came  in  and  asked  me  if  I  had  lived  on  the 
North  Side  in  Denver.  I  told  them  I  had  not  for  years;  that  it 
was  a  country  place,  and  I  tonly  had  two  neighbors.  They  told 
me  they  knew  a  lady  who  said  she  lived  next  door  to  me  on  the 
North  Side,  and  told  me  her  name.  I  said  I  did  not  know  anyone 


OR,     SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  399 

of  that  name,  and  she  surely  was  mistaken  in  the  person.  They 
said  no,  that  she  knew  me.  I  said:  "Surely  I  should  know  my 
next  door  neighbor."  They,  of  course,  believed  this  woman,  and 
I  did  not  blame  them,  for  I  was  a  stranger  to  them,  and  they  had 
as  much  right  to  believe  her  as  me.  However,  they  told  me  they 
did  not  like  Brother  R — ;  that  he  was  too  crazy  to  get  married  to 
suit  them.  They  told  Sister  T —  they  liked  me,  only  they  thought 
there  was  something  wrong  because  I  denied  living  next  door  to 
this  woman.  The  difference  between  this  woman  and  myself  was, 
she  was  mistaken  and  I  was  not.  When  this  story  got  out  they 
believed  it,  and  they  went  to  Sister  T —  and  her  husband  about 
me,  but  they  told  them  I  was  right  and  that  Brother  R —  was  the 
one  that  was  wrong;  that  I  had  shown  no  spirit  of  jealousy,  and 
they  would  not  believe  it.  Sister  T —  came  to  me  and  told  me — 
(and  may  God  bless  that  dear  sister  and  her  husband  for  the  way 
they  stood  by  me,  for  they  were  strangers) — God  would  not  let 
her  believe  this  thing  and  she  knew  she  was  doing  wrong  if  she 
did  not  defend  me.  Then  I  thought  of  the  scrapbook,  and  could 
see  why  the  Lord  led  me  to  take  it.  She  gave  the  book  to  those 
two  women.  They  took  it  home  with  them,  and  they  were  sat- 
isfied that  Brother  R —  was  the  one  who  was  doing  wrong  and 
that  I  was  not  jealous  of  him.  The  school  board  notified  Brother 
T —  that  Brother  R —  could  not  hold  meetings  any  longer  but 
that  I  could.  I  held  a  few  evenings,  but  closed  the  meeting, 
seeing  the  people  did  not  have  the  right  spirit  for  a  revival.  I 
thanked  the  Lord  that  I  obeyed  the  Spirit  when  he  led  me  to 
take  the  scrapbook.  It  was  all  that  saved  me  from  being  treated 
by  the  people  as  he  was.  Before  I  left  I  told  Brother  T —  and  his 
wife  what  I  had  done  for  this  man;  how  he  had  gotten  in  jail 
at  Pueblo,  and  how  I  had  tried  to  help  him  onto  his  feet.  It  would 
have  been  all  right  if  there  had  been  one  in  the  camp  who  knev 
me,  but  they  were  all  strangers  to  me.  I  told  them  how  he  had 
hunted  for  three  days  in  Denver  to  find  me. 

I  have  already  told  you  it  was  always  Christians  who  injured 
me— not  the  harlot,  drunkard,  tramp,  'or  jailbirds.  My  broad 
experience  with  the  human  race  convinces  me  that  there  are  worse 
sins  than  drink  or  that  of  the  harlot,  and  among  them  is  the  deceit- 
ful tongue  in  the  mouth  of  the  professed  Christian.  It  seems  they 
are  determined  to  indulge  in  this  sin  if  they  know  it  will  send  them 
to  hell.  Talk  to  me  of  a  drunkard !  I  know  it  to  be  true,  and  the 
world  knows  it  to  be  a  fact,  that  while  God  said,  "Do  not  drink," 
he  also  said,  "Do  not  speak  evil  one  of  another,"  and  not  to^  judge, 
to  let  everything  alone  till  the  Lord  comes.  Paul  told  Timothy, 
in  I  Tim.  4:16,  to  take  heed  to  himself;  if  he  lived  right  then  he 
would  be  able  to  save  them  that  heard  him.  You  see,  Timothy  did 


4OO  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

not  try  to  get  them  right  by  talking  about  them.  That  kind  of 
work  is  from  the  bottomless  pit  of  hell.  There  are  more  going  to 
hell  by  that  route  than  by  the  whisky  route. 

"ONE  WHO  HAS   SUFFERED. 

"Gossip  is  a  humming-bird  with  eagle  wings  and  a  voice  like  a 
fog-horn.  It  can  be  heard  from  Dan  to  Beersheba  and  has  caused 
more  trouble  than  all  the  bedbugs,  ticks,  fleas,  rattlesnakes,  sharks, 
sore  toes,  cyclones,  earthquakes,  blizzards,  smallpox,  yellow  fever, 
gout  and  indigestion  that  this  great  United  States  have  known  or 
will  know  when  the  universe  shuts  up  shop  and  begins  the  final 
invoice.  In  other  words,  it  has  got  war  and  hell  both  backed  up 
in  the  corner  yelling  for  ice  water." — Guernsey,  Wyo.,  Gazette. 

God  says  if  you  look  on  a  woman  to  lust  after  her  you  commit 
a  dreadful  sin.  Let  us  go  to  God  for  pure  hearts  and  pure  minds, 
that  we  may  have  pure  children,  for  the  nearest  thing  to  heaven 
is  a  home  with  children.  Why?  Because  children  will  be  foun,1 
in  heaven,  and  except  we  repent  and  become  as  little  children  we 
will  in  no  wise  enter  the  kingdom  of  heaven.  ,We  are  not  only  to 
become  as  little  children,  but  God  wants  us  to  stay  so  pure-minded. 
Christ  placed  a  child  in  the  midst  of  them  and  said:  "Except  ye 
be  converted,  and  become  as  little  children,  ye  shall  not  enter  into 
the  kingdom  of  heaven."  I  thank  God  for  all  the  experiences  of 
my  life,  for  I  could  not  have  been  in  a  condition  to  write  this 
book  if  I  had  not  suffered  as  I  have.  I  want  to  speak  of  this  to 
show  you  the  difference  between  the  church  and  the  world.  When 
I  got  my  wheel  to  save  walking  my  feet  off,  the  church  made 
remarks  about  my  skirt  because  it  came  to  my  shoe- tops,  and  the 
world  had  nothing  to  say  about  it,  but  was  glad  that  I  had  a 
wheel  and  complimented  me  on  my  skirt.  This  is  the  difference 
between  the  church  and  the  world.  The  church  members  have 
been  after  me  ever  since  I  went  into  the  church.  Even  those  who 
have  worked  with  me  have  been  accused  of  rejoicing  and  saying 
"Amen"  and  "Praise  the  Lord"  because  I  did.  Their  evil  thoughts 
show  plainly  that  they  have  not  the  spirit  of  God.  I  often  wonder 
if  Christians  do  have  the  knowledge  of  God's  word  or  believe  what 
he  says.  In  Num.  12 :8,  9,  he  asked  them  if  they  were  not  afraid 
to  speak  evil  of  his  servant  Moses,  and  he  said  his  anger  was 
kindled  against  them.  The  educated  and  uneducated  have  not 
hesitated  to  speak  against  the  servants  of  God.  I  would  not  say 
one  word  if  it  was  only  me  that  suffers  from  Christians;  and  may 
they  take  heed  to  God's  word  after  reading  this  book.  If  they 
do  not  take  heed  of  one  word  that  I  have  said,  may  they  remem- 
ber the  scripture.  The  Lord  tells  them  in  Heb.  12:15:  "Looking 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  4<>l 

diligently,  lest  any  man  fail  of  the  grace  of  God;  lest  any  root  of 
bitterness  springing  up,  trouble  you,  and  thereby  many  be  defiled." 
You  see,  we  can  fail  of  the  grace  of  God  by  displeasing  one  another, 
by  speaking  evil  one  of  another.  If  those  talked  about  are  not 
laden  with  grace,  the  root  of  bitterness  will  spring  up  and  they 
will  have  bitterness  in  their  hearts.  What  is  the  result?  Many 
are  defiled  and  the  church  has  filthiness  and  dirt.  They  are  all 
defiled,  and  that  by  their  own  tongues.  I  Cor.  15:34:  "Awake 
to  righteousness,  and  sin  not;  for  some  have  not  the  knowledge  ot 
God.  I  speak  this  to  your  shame."  They  do  not  know  their  sin, 
because  they  have  not  looked  into  the  word  of  God.  They  go 
ahead  grudging  one  another,  when  he  has  told  them  not  to  (James 
5:9),  lest  they  should  be  consumed.  They  do  not  seem  to  know 
the  judge  is  at  the  door,  and  they  inside  sitting  in  the  judgment 
chair.  They  just  put  themselves  there  by  their  own  tongue  and 
do  not  know  it.  And  when  you  tell  them  they  are  not  right  and 
that  it  is  wrong  for  them  to  bite  and  devour  one  another,  lest  they 
be  consumed,  as  God  tells  them  in  Gal.  5:15,  they  will  tell  you  they 
do  not  feel  that  it  is  wrong.  That  is  all  they  can  go  by,  for  they 
do  not  know.  If  we  know  God  tells  us  not  to  do  this  or  that,  how 
can  we  help  being  condemned,  unless  we  are  like  the  man  in  James 
1:23,  24?  He  no  more  than  read  what  God  says  till  he  forgot  it. 
God  said  in  Lev.  9:24  that  all  the  people  shouted — not  only  one  or 
two,  but  all.  What  made  them  shout?  Fire.  And  if  we  have  the 
fire  we  will  shout.  They  saw  the  fire.  In  Acts  2:3  the  fire  came 
and  sat  on  them.  I  would  imagine  there  was  a  great  deal  of  dif- 
ference in  seeing  a  fire  and  having  the  fire  on  you  or  being  in  the 
fire.  If  seeing  the  fire  would  cause  all  the  people  to  shout,  what 
would  stop  them  from  shouting  if  the  fire  is  on  them?  Does  not 
the  Lord  tell  us  we  will  be  baptized  with  fire?  In  Luke  3:16  John 
the  Baptist  says  one  mightier  than  he  cometh,  who  "shall  baptize 
you  with  the  Holy  Ghost,  and  with  fire."  How  wrong,  wicked, 
even  cruel  it  is  to  try  and  stop  one  that  is  in  the  fire  from  shout- 
ing, and  to  talk  about  him  and  make  fun  of  him  because  he  is 
making  a  noise.  In  Gal.  5:15-26  Paul  was  talking  to  these  people 
as  men  and  not  spiritually.  He  was  telling  them  how  to  over- 
come the  flesh,  to  get  sanctified.  Those  whom  the  flesh  is  overcom- 
ing—I care  not  how  much  they  profess  or  testify  to  sanctification 
— are  not  sanctified.  When  this  work  begins  in  them  they  grow 
and  develop,  till  this  work  is  completed.  Then  they  abound  and 
are  ready  to  go  on  to  perfection.  But  when  all  tangled  up  with 
the  flesh,  as  this  Brother  R—  was,  it  is  time  for  us  to  begin  to  get 
out  of  that  condition  before  we  can  do  anything  for  the  Lord. 
Anyway,  I  felt  sorry  for  him,  because  I  could  see  he  was  a  victim 
to  the  sin  of  the  flesh,  and  nothing  short  of  this  experience  could 

26 


402  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

save  him.  I  was  the  one  who  helped  put  the  preacher's  coat  on 
him,  and  I  thought  it  was  my  place  to  take  it  off  till  he  became 
strong  enough  to  wear  it.  When  I  did  this  he  did  me  all  the  harm 
he  could,  like  all  the  rest  of  the  undeserving  Christians,  who  think 
they  can  build  themselves  up  by  casting  a  shadow  upon  me;  but 
every  time  they  have  failed.  This  preacher  thought  he  could  suc- 
ceed at  it,  and  perhaps  would,  had  it  not  been  for  the  scrapbook. 
The  Lord  will  provide  a  way  for  his  true-hearted  children,  that 
they  may  be  able  to  stand,  if  it  is  only  to  stand  upon  a  scrapbook. 
He  will  provide  a  way  in  every  sense  of  the  word,  if  we  look  to 
him  and  trust  him  and  be  led  by  him.  I  would  not  have  said  any- 
thing if  he  had  not  gone  all  over  the  camp  and  compelled  me  to 
give  the  people  an  explanation.  He  judged  me  according  to  him- 
self. He  thought  I  would  talk  about  him,  and  his  idea  was  to  get 
ahead  of  me  in  talking.  This  is  a  poor  plan;  but  give  the  devil 
rope  enough  and  he  will  hang  himself,  and  you,  too,  if  you  are 
not  careful.  Every  bit  of  my  persecution  has  been  through  jeal- 
ousy and  envy.  This  is  what  I  have  suffered  from.  When  I  suf- 
fered that  from  the  ,mission,  God  put  it  into  the  heart  of  Sister 
Worthiam  to  take  hold  of  the  tent  work  and  put  it  through.  I 
could  not  have  done  that  if  it  had  not  been  for  her,  for  I  was  a 
poor  hand  at  that  work.  My  calling  was  preaching.  That  time 
it  was  the  tent  that  protected  me,  and  this  time  God  used  the  scrap- 
book.  So  Brother  R —  left  this  place  and  went  to  Boulder,  and 
made  Brother  Clark  believe  that  I  was  in  the  wrong.  Then  he 
came  to  Denver  to  finish  his  work.  He  took  a  paper  or  a  peti- 
tion and  wanted  the  people  to  sign  it,  stating  that  he  was  a  good 
Christian  gentleman  in  their  presence.  He  knew  who  to  go  to  for 
names.  But  few  of  them  read  the  paper,  and  those  who  did  would 
not  sign  it,  for  it  was  against  me  and  contained  statements  they 
could  not  sign  truthfully.  Several  who  had  not  read  it  put  their 
names  down.  After  getting  these  names  to  the  petition,  he  went 
back  to  this  mountain  town  and  tried  to  establish  himself  with 
the  people.  I  had  not  made  any  effort  to  convince  the  people  of 
my  goodness,  any  more  than  I  had  at  any  other  time,  for  God  told 
the  children  of  Israel  in  Deut.  9 14,  5 :  "Speak  not  thou  in  thine 
heart,  after  that  the  Lord  thy  God  hath  cast  them  out  from  before 
thee,  saying,  For  my  righteousness  the  Lord  hath  brought  me 
into  possession  of  this  land:  but  for  the  wickedness  of  those 
nations  the  Lord  doth  drive  them  out  from  before  thee."  I  did 
not  know  anything  about  this  petition  of  Brother  R —  till  Sister 
T —  sent  me  a  letter  from  the  mining  camp  telling  me  what  they 
had  already  done.  I  thought  of  this  dear  woman  he  was  trying 
to  deceive,  and  said  this  will  never  do.  I  went  to  Brother  Gravett 
and  he  gave  a  letter,  and  Brother  Uzzell  gave  me  another,  and 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  4Q3 

sent  five  letters  of  persons  who  had  signed  the  paper  not  knowing 
its  contents,  requesting  that  their  names  be  taken  off  from  that 
petition  or  any  other  paper  that  would  injure  me.  I  sent  those  to 
Sister  T — ,  telling  her  to  show  them  to  the  woman  he  was  trying 
to  deceive,  and  then  to  return  them  to  me.  Following  is  Brother 
Uzzell's  letter: 

"To  whom  it  may  concern:  This  is  to  certify  that  Mrs.  Rachel 
Peterson  has  been  a  member  of  the  Tabernacle  for  years,  and  1 
have  the  utmost  confidence  in  her  integrity  and  sincerity,  and 
would  not  hesitate  to  take  her  word  at  any  time. 

"Respectfully,  THOMAS  A.  UZZELL." 

This  is  what  I  had  to  do  to  save  this  woman,  not  myself.  This 
is  Brother  Gravett's  letter: 

"DEAR  SISTER:  Mrs.  Peterson  has  shown  me  your  letter  in 
regard  to  Brother  R — .  Her  care  of  him  was  exceedingly  kind. 
I  feared  he  was  unworthy  and  warned  her.  I  was  compelled  to 
warn  one  of  my  members  against  him.  I  learned  irom  her  that 
he  was  too  familiar  with  her  for  so  short  an  acquaintance.  He  is 
a  married  man  and  his  wife  urges  him  to  return  to  her.  The 
report  concerning  Mr3.  Peterson  being  jealous  of  him  is  too  ridicu- 
lous for  reference.  Sincerely,  JOSHUA  GRAVETT, 

"Pastor  Galilee  Baptist  Church." 

Again  disappointed  in  his  plans,  he  returned  to  Denver,  and 
it  was  not  long  till  he  left  for  the  East.  I  received  a  letter  from 
him  several  months  afterward  asking  me  to  forget  everything  and 
come  down  there  and  hold  a  meeting.  I  never  answered  the  letter. 
After  he  failed  he  came  back  here  and  slandered  me  to  some  of  the 
members  of  the  Tabernacle.  He  told  Sister  H — ,  who  I  believe 
has  great  confidence  in  me  and  is  one  of  the  leading  workers  at 
the  Tabernacle,  that  I  was  the  same  to  him  as  a  husband  was  to 
his  wife,  and  I  wanted  to  go  and  hold  meetings  with  him  till  Mr. 
Peterson  died  and  then  marry  him,  and  that  was  why  I  was  jeal- 
ous of  him  and  did  as  I  did.  In  a  few  days  I  got  a  letter  from 
Doctor  C — ,  and  these  are  the  words  he  wrote : 

"MRS.  R.  W.  PETERSON — My  Dear  Sister  in  Christ:  It  is  with 
A  sad  heart  that  I  write  this  letter,  but  with  a  prayer  that  it  will 
help  you  to  see  what  spirit  you  are  of.  I  went  to  Denver  with 

Brother to  find  out  the  truth  of  this  trouble.     I  am  very  sorry 

to  find  without  a  doubt  that  you  are  the  guilty  one.  God  help 
you  to  see  your  heart  as  God  sees  it,  and  then  may  God  give  you 
grace  to  confess  and  repent.  I  did  not  go  to  your  enemies,  but  to 
your  own  sisters  in  Christ.  Six  of  them  all  told  the  same  story; 


4O4  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

just  as  Brother  R —  said,  that  you  were  jealous.  You  will  never 
get  into  heaven  unless  you  make  these  things  right.  I  hope  and 
pray  that  you  will  die  to  self,  and  live  to  Christ  alone.  What  a 
power  you  would  be  if  you  would  give  up  all  and  follow  Christ. 
It  will  pay  you  to  heed  what  Paul  said,  keep  under  your  body.  If 
you  do  not  overcome  the  lust  of  the  flesh  you  will  become  a  cast- 
away after  you  have  preached  to  others.  May  you  give  up  your 
way  and  take  God's  way  and  be  saved.  God  says  be  sure  your  sins 
will  find  you  out.  May  you  find  them  out  and  repent  of  them.  1 
want  to  be  a  peacemaker  and  a  soul-winner.  Do  you?  If  so,  get 
right  with  God.  If  you  will  do  what  is  right  God  will  forgive,  and 
so  will  we.  If  you  will  not  make  wrongs  right,  then  I  believe 
it  is  some  one's  duty  to  expose  you  to  the  public.  May  God  give 
you  grace  to  do  right.  I  will  pray  for  you.  From  your  brother 
in  Christ,  E.  C.  C." 

Now  remember,  I  never  would  have  taken  it  up  if  it  hadn't 
been  for  this  woman  being  deceived.  I  had  other  letters  that  1 
would  have  liked  to  put  in  this  book,  but  they  were  stolen  from 
me  and  destroyed.  All  I  did  with  these  letters  was  to  spread  them 
before  the  Lord  as  Hezekiah  did  those  he  received  from  his  ene- 
mies. You  can  see  from  this  letter  some  believed  me  to  be  jealous. 
I  have  tried  to  find  the  six  sisters  but  have  not  been  able  to  find 
them  yet.  I  may  be  able  to  find  them  at  the  bar  of  God.  You  see 
from  this  letter  there  are  Christians  today  who  think  they  are  doing 
the  will  of  God  as  did  the  friends  of  Job,  when  they  came  to  him 
trying  to  tell  him  what  he  should  do;  and  they  come  in  the  name 
of  God,  thinking  they  are  doing  right.  Oh,  if  we  could  only  learn 
before  it  is  too  late  that  religion  is  to  mind  our  own  business ! 
While  I  was  tending  to  mine,  others  thought  they  knew  better 
how,  and  made  my  home  a  hell ;  but  I  thank  God  I  had  a  solid 
foundation,  even  Jesus  Christ.  Though  the  storms  were  rough 
and  rugged,  the  ship  Zion  stood  the  storm;  and  of  course  I  was  in 
the  ship,  and  Jesus  Christ  the  captain,  and  I  did  not  go  down, 
thank  God. 

I  will  say  a  little  more  about  the  fire  of  the  Holy  Ghost.  As 
I  said,  it  would  be  wrong  and  even  cruel  to  make  light  of  one 
that  was  in  the  fire.  You  know  if  you  had  any  kind  of  a  heart  yo'1 
would  feel  sorry  and  fear  if  one  would  shout  "Fire !"  even  if  you 
were  not  interested.  When  the  fire  came  out  from  the  Lord,  as  it 
is  spoken  of  in  ILev.  9:24,  and  I  knew  the  Lord  was  consuming 
all  I  had  given  him — all  my  offerings — and  I  shouted,  they  did  not 
even  feel  sorry  for  me,  but  called  me  a  fool  and  crazy.  Some,  of 
the  members  said  I  spoiled  the  sermon  for  them,  and  others  laughed, 
and  some  sneered  and  turned  up  their  noses  like  a  bulldog  just 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  405 

before  he  begins  to  fight.  They  would  have  put  me  out  if  they 
had  had  their  way,  and  all  because  of  the  fire.  I  knew  of  some 
getting  out  of  the  church  because  of  a  little  fire.  It  made  them 
nervous.  I  wonder  if  they  were  nervous  for  fear  the  fire  might 
come  from  the  Lord  and  burn  up  something  that  they  had  not 
laid  on  the  altar;  they  did  not  know  what  was  the  matter,  and 
they  called  it  nervousness.  What  they  wanted  was  a  little  fire  to 
strengthen  their  nerves,  and  they  did  not  even  know  that.  They 
know  there  is  something  the  matter  with  the  people  who  have  the 
fire,  but  they  do  not  know  what  it  is,  because  they  do  not  read  the 
word  of  God  to  find  out.  Think  of  it,  my  dear  reader.  There  was 
fire  before  Christ  and  there  was  fire  after  Christ,  and  there  is  no 
place  I  have  found  in  the  bible  where  God  says  the  fire  has  gone 
out ;  and  if  it  has  not  gone  out,  then  it  must  still  be  burning  some- 
where ;  and  when  people  see  or  realize  it,  what  are  they  to  do  but 
shout?  Why  should  they  have  to  hold  their  feelings?  Are  we 
all  such  tender  Christians  that  it  hurts  us  to  be  called  fools  and 
made  fun  of?  Oh,  let  us  stop,  and  let  us  shout!  It  would  not  do 
half  the  harm,  because  God  tells  us  to  shout.  Josh.  6:16:  "Joshua 
said  unto  the  people,  Shout;  for  the  Lord  hath  given  you  the  city" 
— he  gave  them  victory.  There  is  a  time  to  shout,  and  that  is  when 
you  know  or  realize  you  have  got  something  to  shout  about.  If 
you  are  not  overcoming  the  world,  do  not  shout.  If  you  do  it 
will  be  wrong,  for  in  the  loth  verse  of  the  same  chapter  Joshua 
told  them  not  to  shout.  The  reason  a  good  many  of  the  people 
do  not  shout  is  they  cannot.  The  Holy  Spirit  will  not  be  in  the 
shout,  for  they  have  nothing  to  shout  for,  and  if  they  did  it  would 
be  nothing  but  mockery  before  God.  Get  your  hearts  right,  and 
then  do  as  God  tells  you  in  Ps.  100:1,  2,  make  a  joyful  noise  unto 
the  Lord,  and  serve  the  Lord  with  gladness.  There  are  plenty 
of  people  who  do  not  like  to  make  a  noise,  though  they  feel  like 
it  and  can  from  the  heart.  They  are  afraid  the  people  will  do  as 
they  did  with  David.  Some  of  them  will  say  they  do  not  like  a 
noisy  religion,  when  they  mean  they  hate  it;  but  it  does  not  sound 
nice  to  say  hate,  and  they  put  it  in  a  milder  way  and  say  they  do 
not  like  shouting.  They  are  not  honest  enough  to  say  they  hate 
it,  and  have  it  written  down  in  a  book  as  Saul's  daughter  did. 
II  Sam.  6:16:  "And  as  the  ark  of  the  Lord  came  into  the  city  of 
David,  Michal,  Saul's  daughter,  looked  through  a  window,  and 
saw  King  David  leaping  and  dancing  before  the  Lord;  and  she 
despised  him  in  her  heart."  I  do  not  know  whether  she  was  a 
church  member  or  not,  but  I  do  advise  every  one  from  the  depths 
of  my  heart  to  try  giving  away  to  the  Spirit.  If  you  feel  like 
shouting,  shout  and  rejoice,  because  God  says  it  pleases  him.  I 
only  wish  it  was  different,  and  that  people  did  not  have  these 


406  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

feelings  in  regard  to  the  people  of  God  expressing  their  heart's 
joy.  The  devil  has  used  this  means  of  tempting  me  so  many  times 
never  to  have  any  dealings  with  the  people  religiously,  saint  or 
sinner;  but  since  I  have  understood  the  scripture  as  God  intended 
me  to,  that  feeling  has  no  more  hold  on  me.  I  often  wondered 
if  the  Lord  ever  was  tempted  in  that  way.  I  believe  there  were 
times  when  he  had  those  feelings,  for  you  know  he  would  go  away 
by  himself.  I  have  wondered,  when  he  found  the  crazy  man 
among  the  tombs,  if  he  did  not  take  more  comfort  out  there  with 
the  dead  than  with  the  living,  for  not  even  the  disciples  under- 
stood him.  He  was  alone,  as  far  as  the  people  understanding  him. 
In  all  my  experience  I  did  not  feel  that  the  scripture  was  as  much 
of  a  mystery,  for  God  tells  us  when  we  read  we  may  understand 
his  mystery  in  the  knowledge  of  Christ.  (Ep'h.  3:4.)  In  Eph. 
5:32,  Paul  says  this  is  a  great  mystery,  and  in  I  Tim.  3:16,  "with- 
out controversy,  great  is  the  mystery  of  godliness."  To  learn  the 
mystery  of  godliness  in  a  way  that  we  can  live  and  talk  and  not 
bring  up  strife  or  contention  or  differences  that  would  injure  us 
or  hinder  us  spiritually,  is  indeed  a  great  mystery.  God  would 
have  us  live  such  a  life  that  we  may  not  offend  in  word,  and 
this  we  cannot  do  without  getting  into  the  mysteries  of  god- 
liness. In  II  Pet.  3  :i6,  speaking  of  the  epistles  of  Paul,  Peter 
says  there  are  some  things  hard  to  be  understood,  which  the 
unlearned  do  wrest  unto  their  own  destruction.  We  have  no  busi- 
ness to  wrest  the  scripture,  even  if  we  do  not  understand  it. 
Though  it  is  hard  to  be  understood,  we  ought  to  accept  it,  because 
it  is  God's  word,  and  wait  for  the  experience  that  will  enable  us  to 
understand  it.  To  refuse  it  means  destruction,  for  God  says  so. 
In  the  I7th  verse  he  says:  "Seeing  ye  know  these  things  before, 
beware  lest  ye  also,  being  led  away  with  the  error  of  the  wicked, 
fall  from  your  own  steadfastness."  So  with  all  of  this  knowledge 
there  is  dangei  of  our  falling.  I  think  the  more  knowledge  we 
receive  the  more  it  behooves  us  to  beware,  because  Satan  is  about, 
seeking  whom  he  may  devour.  Now  we  know  he  is  not  after  the 
world,  for  he  already  has  it.  He  does  not  have  to  seek  after 
worldly  people.  He  is  seeking  for  us,  and  through  the  weakness 
of  the  flesh,  if  we  are  not  constantly  on  our  guard,  he  will  be 
sure  in  some  way  to  cause  us  to  get  away  from  that  steadfastness. 
Though  these  things  are  hard  to  be  understood,  they  are  under- 
stood by  some.  I  knew  this  feeling  I  had  of  wanting  to  get  away 
from  the  living  was  because  this  was  a  mystery  to  me,  how  these 
people  were  to  get  inlo  heaven.  Col.  1:26:  "The  mystery  which 
hath  been  hid  from  ages,  and  from  generations,  but  now  is  made 
manifest  to  his  saints."  I  said:  "Lord,  who  are  your  saints,  if 
this  is  only  made  known  to  your  saints?"  And  this  verse  came 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  407 

to  me  (I  Cor.  1:2):  "Them  that  are  sanctified  in  Christ  Jesus, 
called  to  be  saints."  Then  I  claimed  the  promise,  and  said : 
"Lord,  you  know  I  have  finished  the  work  of  sanctification ;  the 
last  thing  I  had  I  gave  you,  which  was  obedience."  Though  I  am 
on  the  bottom  rung  of  the  saints,  he  does  show  me  the  great  mys- 
tery, that  I  may  not  fall  from  my  steadfastness.  I  knew  if  these 
mysteries  were  for  any  one  they  were  for  me,  and  I  felt  that  I  was 
his  saint,  whether  any  one  else  knew  it  or  not.  I  didn't  icare 
whether  anyone  thought  me  to  be  that  or  not,  as  long  as  I  knew 
in  my  heart  God  had  accepted  me  in  that  experience.  I  made  up 
my  mind  to  understand  the  mysteries,  and  to  my  joy  the  Lord 
enlightened  me  by  the  Holy  Ghost,  through  his  word.  I  was  not 
satisfied  to  know  myself,  but  I  wanted  the  Lord  to  show  me  in  such 
a  plain  way  that  I  could  tell  others,  for  he  says,  in  Eph.  3  :p,  to  make 
all  men  see  what  is  the  fellowship  of  the  mystery.  I  knew  there 
were  more  than  me  stumbling  over  such  Christians,  and  I  knew  such 
Christians  were  only  stumbling-blocks  to  sinners,  and  I  just  felt 
the  Lord  must  tell  me  and  help  me  understand.  The  light  began 
to  dawn  upon  me,  and  by  the  help  of  the  Holy  Ghost  I  will  try  to 
make  it  plain  so  the  minds  that  are  spiritual  may  see  and  those 
that  are  babes  in  Christ  can  understand. 

CHAPTER  XXIV. 

THE  OLD  MAN  AND  THE  NEW  MAN. 

WE  carry  about  with  us  two  different  men,  two  different 
spirits ;  the  old  man  is  the  natural  man,  and  the  new  man 
is  the  spiritual  man.  May  God  open  the  eyes  of  our 
understanding  that  we  may  understand  in  a  spiritual  sense,  that 
we  may  not  be  stumbling-blocks  to  others.  Col.  3:9:  "Have  put 
off  the  old  man."  You  know  how  he  had  control  of  your  heart, 
and  there  was  but  the  one  man.  One  might  say:  "Where  is  the 
other  man?  Did  you  not  say  there  are  two  men,  the  old  and  the 
new?"  Yes;  but  the  new  man  is  not  born  yet.  The  new  man  is 
the  man  who  comes  into  the  heart  after  you  repent  and  believe. 
That  is  when  you  are  born  again,  or  converted,  some  call  it.  He 
is  not  a  very  strong  man,  for  he  has  just  been  born  and  must  be 
fed,  and  in  Col.  3:10  we  are  told  how  to  feed  the  new  man  with 
knowledge  in  order  for  him  to  grow.  You  must  tend  to  feeding  him : 
and  as  he  gets  the  word  of  God  he  begins  to  grow.  As  you  get  the 
knowledge  of  the  bible,  and  -live  it  and  be  a  doer  of  the  word  as  God 
tells  us,  the  new  man  begins  to  grow  and  become  strong,  and  you 
can  feel  he  is  growing.  You  will  feel  the  strength— and  how 
determined  you  will  be  to  do  right!  One  may  ask,  What  has 
become  of  the  old  man?  He  is  not  far  off.  You  know  when 


408  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

Christ  was  born  he  was  born  in  the  stable,  but  after  he  was  cruci- 
fied he  overcame  the  world,  the  flesh  and  the  devil.  He  went  from 
the  stable  to  the  throne  at  the  right  hand  of  God,  and  he  went  by 
the  way  of  the  cross  through  the  garden.  When  he  comes  into 
our  hearts  by  faith,  he  will  not  go  into  the  stable  again ;  but  when 
we  are  born  again  he  £omes  by  faith  and  dwells  by  faith  in  our 
hearts.  When  he  was  in  the  stable  the  natural  man  was  in  the 
house,  but  the  tables  have  turned  now.  He  comes  and  dwells  in 
us — that  is,  in  the  spiritual  man  that  is  born  in  us,  the  new  man. 
Christ  is  the  new  man,  and  the  new  man  is  in  us — that  is,  the 
house.  You  still  ask  me  where  the  old  man  is.  Well,  he  did  not 
move  very  far,  just  out  into  the  stable.  Then  you  ask,  "Where  is 
the  stable?"  The  flesh.  "Why  do  you  call  the  flesh  the  stable?" 
Do  you  not  stop  to  think  the  old  man  must  have  some  place  to  live ; 
that  he  is  not  crucified?  He  has  only  been  put  off,  as  shown  in 
Col.  3:9.  He  has  not  been  killed,  neither  is  there  any  account  of 
his  dying.  You  Jcnow  he  is  living  some  place  from  the  way  he 
makes  you  feel.  There  are  times  he  makes  you  feel  as  mean  as 
you  ever  did  before  you  were  converted,  and  reason  will  tell  you 
that  he  is  not  very  far  away.  You  know  the  old  man  could  not 
get  inside  of  the  spiritual  man,  for  the  new  man  is  a  spiritual  man. 
Well,  then,  the  old  man  must  be  dwelling  in  the  flesh,  from  what 
Paul  said  in  Rom.  7:17,  18:  "Now  then  it  is  no  more  I  that  do  it. 
but  sin  that  dwelleth  in  me.  For  I  know  that  in  me  (that 
is,  in  my  flesh,)  dwelleth  no  good  thing."  We  know  the 
flesh  is  corrupt  and  full  of  disease  and  sin.  That  is  why  1 
compare  the  flesh  to  a  kind  of  a  stable,  for  a  stable  is  not  the 
sweetest,  or  cleanest,  or  most  pleasant  of  places.  The  bible  is  filled 
with  many  directions  how  to  get  the  filth  out  and  to  encourage  us 
to  get  rid  of  the  filth  of  the  flesh ;  so  we  must  compel  the  old  man 
to  make  another  move.  As  long  as  the  horse  is  in  the  stable  you 
will  have  filth  to  clean  out;  but  get  the  horse  out,  and  clean  and 
scrub,  and  open  the  doors  and  windows,  and  move  all  the  old 
trash  away,  and  little  by  little  the  scent  will  leave  the  stable.  Some- 
times it  takes  a  long  time.  It  is  so  with  us.  It  takes  a  long  time 
for  us  to  get  any  way  fit  for  heaven.  We  are  so  slow  to  obey  and 
live  the  truth  and  walk  in  the  Lord's  footsteps.  Paul  said  in 
Rom.  7:18:  "For  to  will  is  present  with  me;  but  how  to  perform 
that  which  is  good,  I  find  not."  You  see,  he  had  the  will  to  do,  to 
be  good  and  kind.  I  suppose  he  got  angry  and  out  of  patience, 
for  he  said  Tie  found  he  could  not.  •  Some  say  Paul  is  talking 
about  his  experience  before  he  was  converted.  Oh,  no;  that  could 
not  be.  If  you  remember  he  says  he  thought  he  was  doing  his 
duty;  that  it  was  ignorance;  that  he  did  not  know.  In  Rom.  7:15 
he  says:  "For  that  which  I  do,  I  allow  not:  for  what  I  would, 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  409 

that  do  I  not;  but  what  I  hate,  that  do  I."  What  he  wanted  to 
do  he  did  not,  and  it  could  not  have  been  when  he  was  persecuting 
the  children  of  God,  for  he  wanted  to  do  that;  and  the  things 
that  he  hated  or  would  not  do  now  he  was  doing  then.  You  know, 
my  converted  one,  when  we  start  out,  and  for  years  after  that,  we 
do  things  we  are  sorry  for  and  ask  God  to  forgive  us.  In  Rom. 
7:24,  Paul  says  he  was  wretched  and  inquires  who  should  deliver 
him  from  the  body  of  this  death.  Gal.  4:13,  14,  shows  plainly  enough 
that  he  was  talking  of  his  experience  after  his  conversion  (for  he 
is  talking  the  same  as  in  Rom.  7:13):  "Ye  know  how  through 
infirmity  of  the  flesh  I  preached  the  gospel  unto  you  at  the  first" — 
showing  that  he  had  a  different  experience  now  than  he  did  at 
first.  Yet  so  many  think  they  get  everything  at  once.  Oh,  no ; 
we  must  get  the  same  experience  Paul  had.  He  said  he  had  the 
filth  of  the  flesh,  or  the  infirmity  of  the  flesh  at  first,  showing  he 
had  overcome  the  infirmity  of  the  flesh  and  the  temptations.  Even 
up  to  this  time  he  said  he  had  to  watch  that  he  be  not  a  castaway 
after  he  had  preached  the  gospel  to  others.  This  shows  that  the 
old  man  is  only  dead  in  this  way — Rom.  8:10:  "If  Christ  be  in 
you,  the  body  is  dead  because  of  sin ;  but  the  Spirit  is  life  because 
of  righteousness."  Paul  says  in  Rom.  8:1:  "There  is  therefore 
now  no  condemnation  to  them  which  are  in  Christ  Jesus,  who 
walk  not  after  the  flesh,  but  after  the  Spirit;"  showing  those  who 
yield  to  the  things  of  the  flesh  that  the  old  man  is  there,  and  they 
are  not  the  ones  that  are  in  Christ  Jesus.  This  verse  says  there 
is  no  condemnation  to  those  who  are  in  Christ  Jesus.  What  does 
that  mean  only  that  we  resist  the  ways  of  the  flesh,  the  feelings 
that  come  to  us  to  yield — that  we  do  not  act  upon  them.  When 
Christians  do  not  live  as  God  tells  them,  or  are  doing  things  they 
ought  not,  are  they  not  walking  after  the  flesh?  Are  they  not  living 
as  Paul  tells  us  in  the  seventh  chapter?  They  do  things  they 
ought  not  and  leave  things  undone  that  they  should  do.  You 
know  we  do  this  after  we  are  converted,  and  we  know  just  what 
Paul  is  talking  about.  So  you  see  we  are  not  in  Christ  Jesus,  or 
Christ  Jesus  in  us ;  or,  in  other  words,  the  filth  of  the  flesh  has 
not  been  taken  out.  This  temple  cannot  be  a  temple  of  Christ  till 
it  is  made  clean  through  the  truth  and  we  are  just  living  by  faith 
in  the  son  of  God — in  the  inner  man.  If  any  are  in  Christ  you 
will  not  hear  them  say  they  do  things  they  know  they  ought  not 
to  do,  for  if  they  had  that  experience  (Christ  dwelling  in  them  or 
they  in  Christ),  what  could  we  call  it  but  willful  sin  or  premedi- 
tated sin?  I  will  tell  you  by  and  by  what  God  says  about  willful 
sin.  When  they  know  they  do  things  they  ought  not,  it  is  nothing 
but  condemnation,  for  they  let  the  flesh  have  its  way.  These  are 
some  of  the  workings  of  the  flesh:  hatred,  wrath,  strife.  (Gal. 


410  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

5:19,  20.)  One  who  will  contend  and  have  hateful  feelings  towarJ 
another  and  dislike  cannot  help  feeling  condemned,  besides  doing 
other  things  mentioned  in  those  two  verses.  We  can  have 
a  dislike  to  a  good  many  ways  of  our  children,  but  we  will 
treat  them  right  and  love  them — not  their  faults.  We  will 
not  want  to  say  anything  about  their  faults  to  others.  The  workb 
of  the  flesh  will  bring  condemnation,  unless  their  hearts  are  so 
hardened  they  have  got  beyond  feeling  condemnation,  unless  their 
consciences  have  become  seared  as  with  a  hot  iron.  God  says 
our  conscience  will  become  so  if  we  repeatedly  do  things  we  know 
we  ought  not.  You  know  by  your  own  experience  that  you  can 
continue  to  get  angry  and  continue  to  talk  about  people  till  you 
will  say  yourself  you  do  not  feel  that  it  is  wrong.  What  is  that 
but  the  conscience  seared?  If  it  was  not,  you  couldn't  help  but 
feel  condemnation  when  you  speak  evil  of  any  one,  for  you  are 
doing  what  God  forbids.  Do  you  not  know  that  our  conscience 
will  be  seared  in  a  little  thing  till  we  will  become  indifferent  to  that 
little  sin?  We  can  give  way  to  the  sin  of  impatience  till  we  can 
commit  that  sin  every  day  and  before  night  forget  all  about  it,  and 
in  the  very  act  of  impatience  feel  no  condemnation.  Now,  what 
the  Lord  would  have  us  see  is  that  he  wants  us  not  only  to  put 
out  the  old  man  with  the  old  man's  deeds  (and  he  tells  us  what 
the  old  man's  deeds  (are  in  Col.  3:8,  anger,  wrath,  malice,  filthy 
talking,  etc.),  but  he  tells  us  to  put  on  and  abide  in  the  attributes 
of  the  new  man.  Notice  he  is  talking  to  the  converted  one  that 
has  the  new  man.  He  is  not  telling  you  that  he  has  forgiven  you, 
but  he  tells  you  to  put  off  these  things.  Then  what  has  he  for- 
given you  for?  For  committing  sin  and  acting  upon  the  deeds  of 
the  old  man.  The  new  man  has  been  born  all  right,  but  the  old 
man  is  still  in  the  flesh,  and  we  do  not  go  far  enough  by  simply 
putting  off  his  deeds.  But  he  is  a  Jew  which  is  one  inwardly,  in 
the  heart,  in  the  spirit.  (Rom.  2:29.)  You  see,  the  Lord  keep? 
track  of  the  heart,  and  when  the  heart  begins  to  lose  its  interest 
God  will  turn  away  from  us,  even  if  we  go  to  church  and  are  one 
of  the  leading  members.  We  must  be  more  than  members,  and 
we  cannot  be  that  unless  we  get  the  Spirit  and  are  led  by  and  obey 
the  Spirit;  and  this  we  cannot  do  till  we  get  rid  of  the  old  man 
in  the  flesh.  Gal.  5:17:  "For  the  flesh  lusteth  against  the  Spirit, 
and  the  Spirit  against  the  flesh ;  and  these  are  contrary  the  one  to 
the  other;  so  that  ye  cannot  do  the  things  that  ye  would."  That 
was  Paul's  condition,  and  he  is  speaking  of  those  who  have  the 
Spirit.  How  could  they  get  the  Spirit  except  they  were  born 
again?  And  what  is  this  Spirit  but  the  new  man?  The  new  man 
has  the  lusts  of  the  flesh  to  contend  with,  so  that  ye  cannot  do  the 
things  that  ye  would.  Do  you  not  see  how  necessary  it  is  to  get 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  411 

rid  of  the  deeds  of  the  flesh,  which  are  the  old  man's  deeds? 
Surely  the  old  man  is  there,  or  his  deeds  would  not  be  there.  I. 
know  after  reading  this,  no  one  could  help  but  see  this  has  refer- 
ence to  the  converted.  You  would  have  to  be  born  again  before 
he  could  talk  to  you  that  way,  for  he  talks  to  the  sinners  like  this: 
to  turn  from  their  sins  and  repent;  to  ask  and  believe  that  their 
sins  may  be  forgiven.  Then,  after  this,  he  wants  us  to  get  rid  ot 
what  causes  us  to  sin  so  often  when  we  do  not  want  to.  You 
know  there  are  habits  and  desires  in  us  that  cause  us  to  do  things 
we  would  not.  Even  after  we  are  converted  we  love  a  good  many 
things  we  do  not  want  to  love,  so  we  cannot  do  the  things  we 
would,  spoken  of  in  Rom.  7.  Some  way  we  don't  know  how  to 
give  them  up.  The  Lord  says,  in  II  Cor.  8:12,  that  a  willing  mind 
is  acceptable;  so  you  see  he  accepts  the  will  and  keeps  it  as  long  as 
we  are  willing.  But  in  the  eleventh  verse  he  says  he  wants  us  not 
only  to  be  willing,  but  to  "perform  the  doing  of  it."  What  true 
Christian  is  not  willing  to  give  up  these  things  that  cause  them  to 
get  up  in  prayer-meeting  and  say  they  know  they  do  many  things 
they  ought  not?  Tell  me  they  would  not  give  them  up  if  they 
knew  how!  The  Lord  tells  us  to  act,  to  go  to  work  overcoming 
the  flesh;  or,  in  other  words,  to  mortify  the  deeds  of  the  body. 
(Rom.  8:13.)  Can  you  not  see  we  have  a  work  to  do  within  our- 
selves? Rom.  7:6:  "That  being  dead  wherein  we  were  held;  that 
we  should  serve  in  newness  of  spirit."  What  was  it  that  held  us? 
Sin.  What  was  it  that  loosened  us?  Repenting  and  believing. 
Now  he  wants  us  to  serve  in  newness  of  spirit.  That  is  the  death 
the  old  man  may  die.  He  does  not  tell  us  to  die  when  we  are 
converted,  nor  to  put  off  the  old  man,  but  to  turn  from  our  sins, 
repent  and  believe.  That  is  the  work  of  the  soul,  heart  and  spirit. 
Then  he  says  ask  Christ  for  his  spirit,  and  he  will  give  you  the 
Spirit;  and  then,  through  the  Spirit,  we  put  off  the  old  man,  the 
flesh.  In  the  same  chapter,  24th  verse,  he  speaks  again  of  this 
death,  and  Paul  is  talking  about  himself  after  his  conversion,  as 
I  have  already  explained,  where  he  says,  "Who  shall  deliver  me 
from  this  body  of  this  death?"  What  is  this  death?  I  ask  again. 
Rom.  6:11,  12,  will  tell  you  what  it  is:  "Likewise  reckon  ye  also 
yourselves  to  be  dead  indeed  unto  sin,  but  alive  unto  God  through 
Jesus  Christ  our  Lord.  Let  not  sin  therefore  reTgn  in  your  mor- 
tal body,  that  you  should  obey  it  in  the  lusts  thereof."  That 
shows  that  it  is  one  born  again  whom  Paul  is  talking  to.  ^  Paul 
said  of  himself  that  sin  was  reigning  in  his  body.  He  said  it  wa^ 
"no  more  I  that  did  it,  but  sin  that  is  in  me."  Then,  again,  he 
said  that  sin  was  in  his  flesh.  That  is  just  like  what  the  Lord 
says  in  this  verse — let  not  sin  reign  in  your  bodfes.^  That  is  what 
causes  evil  thoughts,  impatience,  and  speaking  things  we  ought 


412  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

not,  idle  words.  Who  would  dare  to  say  that  we  cannot  get  where 
we  will  not  sin,  when  the  Lord  tells  us  to  do  so.  You  know,  if 
our  old  man  is  crucified  with  him  (Rom.  6:6),  then  the  work  that 
is  left  for  us  to  do,  through  the  Spirit,  is  to  destroy  this  body  of 
sin — not  our  body,  but  this  body  that  i.s  within  our  body,  which  is 
the  body  of  sin  spoken  of  in  this  verse.  After  that,  we  should  noc 
serve  sin.  Why?  Because  it  has  been  destroyed.  This  is  the 
death.  So  many  say,  "I  am  dead."  So  you  are  in  a  sense,  that  is, 
dead  to  sin.  But  you  are  alive  as  ever  Adam  and  Eve  were  in 
the  Garden  of  Eden,  and  as  liable  to  temptation  as  they  were,  even 
after  this  death  of  sin  has  taken  place  in  your  body.  Though  this 
is  a  great  work  done,  we  are  still  liable  to  fall  if  we  are  not  very 
careful.  We  must  not  fail  to  trust  God  and  know  the  blood  is 
flowing  over  our  souls  by  faith  every  'moment,  till  the  gates  of 
heaven  are  shut  behind  us.  Unless  the  blood  by  faith  is  applied 
constantly,  we  have  failed  to  pray  without  ceasing,  and  when  we 
do  that  we  are  liable  to  enter  into  temptation,  and  perhaps  do 
things  worse  than  Adam  and  Eve  did.  They  fell,  and  we  can  only 
be  as  pure  here  on  earth  as  they  were,  and  no  purer.  If  they  fell, 
then  it  surely  behooves  us  to  watch  and  pray  lest  we  be  castaways, 
as  Paul  said  it  was  possible  for  him  to  be.  He  said  we  must  keep 
this  body  under  subjection.  If  we  have  that  to  do,  it  could  not 
be  that  his  body  was  dead.  If  he  had  been  dead  then  he  would  not 
have  had  to  keep  under  something  that  was  dead.  No,  it  is  not 
this  body,  or  nature,  God  destroys ;  but  he  has  provided  a  way 
that  sin  can  be  destroyed  in  the  body.  In  other  words,  we  can  live 
a  natural  life,  along  with  the  spiritual  life,  that  is  not  sinful.  Every- 
thing can  be  pure.  He  says  to  them  that  are  pure  all  things  are 
pure.  We  are  able  to  cast  down  every  imagination  that  is  contrary 
to  the  word  of  God,  for  we  have  the  weapons.  (II  Cor.  10:2-5.) 
"Though  we  walk  in  the  flesh,  we  do  not  war  after  the  flesh,"  for 
the  flesh  is  sinful  and  subject  to  sin  and  temptation  at  all  times. 
We  can  live  that  natural  life  and  not  sin  if  we  have  the  spiritual 
life  to  help  us,  for  the  body  of  sin  has  been  destroyed.  It  is  not  a 
sin  to  eat  and  drink  and  sleep,  but  it  is  a  sin  to  be  a  glutton  or  live 
for  pride.  That  is  a  sin  of  the  flesh  and  not  a  natural  life — not  the 
life  God  intended  we  should  live.  That  is  what  Paul  meant  in 
Gal.  2:20:  "I  live;  yet  not  I,  but  Christ  liveth  in  me."  He  was 
living  to  please  Christ.  He  lived  in  the  flesh,  but  it  was  a  life  of 
faith  and  obedience  to  the  Son  of  God  (Rom.  2:28),  not  the  life  of 
those  who  are  only  acting  like  Christians.  One  may  ask  how  one 
feels  who  is  a  Christian  inwardly.  God  will  tell  you  how  they  feel, 
in  II  Cor.  7:11.  They  have  a  godly  sorrow  in  a  godly  way,  which 
means  if  you  get  angry  or  do  anything  or  say  anything  that  is  not 
becoming  to  a  Christian,  you  will  be  so  sorry  about  it  that  you  will 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  413 

say :  "God  helping  me,  I  will  be  careful  next  time."  Other  things 
you  do  that  are  not  right  and  in  accord  with  God's  word,  you  will 
try  to  break  yourself  of.  Now,  that  is  what  God  calls  clearing  of 
yourselves,  in  the  eleventh  verse.  If  you  fail  to  overcome  it,  then 
you  will  get  angry  with  yourself.  You  will  be  afraid  if  you  do  not 
do  better  God  will  get  angry  at  you  and  punish  you  in  some  way. 
One  who  is  a  Christian  in  heart,  not  only  by  name,  will  have  the 
desire  to  grow  better  all  the  time,  and  will  have  a  zeal  to  be  clear 
in  all  his  life  and  ways  and  thoughts.  Read  the  eleventh  verse 
and  see  the  difference  there  is  in  an  inward  Christian  and  an  out- 
ward Christian,  spoken  of  in  the  tenth  verse.  The  sorrow  of  an 
outward  Christian  is  like  a  worldly  sorrow,  and  that  kind  of  a  sor- 
row only  means  death ;  that  is,  they  have  a  kind  of  sorrow,  but  not 
enough  to  cause  them  to  study  God's  word  and  learn  how  to  get 
the  Spirit  to  overcome  these  things.  If  you  are  not  sorry  enough 
to  break  yourself,  it  will  prove  to  yourself  and  others  that  you  did 
not  have  the  godly  sorrow.  You  might  think  so,  but  if  you  had 
you  would  have  overcome.  This  is  the  condition  of  the  old  man 
of  sin  (Eph.  4:18):  His  understanding  is  darkened;  he  is  igno- 
rant; his  heart  is  blind.  Can  you  not  see  why  the  sinner  cannot 
see  or  understand?  The  old  man  of  sin  has  him  blinded,  and  after 
you  are  converted  he  hinders  you  from  understanding  the  bible. 
Your  mind  is  clouded  with  his  influence  as  long  as  he  is  in  the 
flesh.  You  will  not  be  able  to  do  as  you  would  like,  and  you  will 
never  be  able  to  understand  the  scripture  as  you  can,  unless  you  get 
rid  of  the  sin  of  the  flesh.  The  Lord  says  he  will  reveal  only  to 
his  saints  the  deep  things  of  God.  They  are  the  ones  he  reveals- 
the  secret  things  to  when  the  work  of  sanctification  is  completed. 
What  are  the  secret  things?  One  of  them  is  perfect  love.  We 
can  .have  a  head-knowledge  of  what  this  means,  but  we  will  never 
know  the  secret  till  we  have  the  experience.  We  cannot  have  the 
experience  before  the  work  of  sanctification  is  complete,  because 
the  works  of  the  flesh  will  hinder  us  from  enjoying  it.  Sanctifica- 
tion is  to  take  out  the  work  of  the  flesh.  The  Lord  will  let  every 
one  into  his  secret  things  when  they  get  rid  of  the  flesh.  What 
good  would  it  do  for  him  to  show  or  reveal  his  secrets  if  we  do 
not  get  rid  of  the  flesh?  We  could  not  comprehend.  Why? 
Because  we  cannot  do  what  we  see  and  know  already  to  do.  We 
do  not  seem  to  care  to  live  what  we  already  know,  and  are  not 
capable  of  understanding  the  harder  things  spoken  of  in  II  Pet. 
3:16.  Those  who  try  to  understand  the  hard  things  before  the-/ 
do  the  things  they  do  understand,  will  do  themselves  more  harm 
than  good.  As  |God  says  in  this  verse,  it  will  be  to  their  own 
destruction  when  they  talk  against  things  in  God's  word  just 
because  they  do  not  understand  them.  We  are  in  very  poor  busi- 


414  THE      LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

ness  when  we  discuss  and  condemn  things  we  know  nothing  about. 
No  matter  what  you  think,  you  know  you  must  be  a  saint  I  have 
already  told  you  what  a  saint  is.  He  is  the  one  to  whom  God 
reveals  these  deep  things.  Let  us  see  what  I  John  3:9  says:  "Who- 
soever is  born  of  God  doth  not  commit  sin ;  for  his  seed  remaineth 
in  him;  and  he  cannot  sin,  because  he  is  born  of  God."  In  the 
same  chapter,  sixth  verse,  he  says :  "Whosoever  abideth  in  him 
sinneth  not;  whosoever  sinneth  hath  not  seen  him,  neither  known 
him."  In  the  fourth  verse  he  seems  to  modify  this  statement  by 
saying,  "Whosoever  commiteth  sin  transgresseth  also  the  law.*' 
If  you  are  spiritual  enough  in  studying  these  two  men,  the  out- 
ward and  the  inward  man,  you  will  see  which  one  he  is  talking 
about.  Now  the  ninth  verse  refers  wholly  to  the  inward  man,  and 
the  sixth  verse  is  speaking  of  the  inward  man.  If  the  inward  man 
sin  he  has  not  seen  God  by  faith,  neither  has  he  known  God  in 
experience;  he  has  never  been  born  of  God.  Hold  this  in  your 
mind  as  we  read  on,  and  then  you  will  know  what  God  means 
when  he  turns  and  says  if  any  one  sin,  in  the  fourth  verse  of  this 
chapter.  Notice  the  word  "law."  Now  he  is  talking  about  the  sin 
in  the  old  man  that  you  are  still  carrying  in  your  body  or  flesh.  He 
is  calling  this  sin  the  law,  and  we  will  see  what  that  law  John  is 
referring  to  is.  He  has  not  stopped  to  explain  it,  but  Paul  did  in 
Rom.  7 :23 :  "But  I  see  another  law  in  my  members  warring  against 
the  law  of  my  mind."  Now  you  see  the  two  laws :  one  in  the  mind, 
which  God  tells  us,  in  the  22nd  verse  of  this  chapter,  is  the  law  of 
God;  and  Paul  says  he  finds  another  law  in  his  members,  and  that 
law  takes  him  captive  and  thereby  he  is  held  a  prisoner.  Then  he 
goes  on  to  tell  how  wretched  he  was  because  he  was  doing  things 
he  did  not  want  to  do  (20th  v.).  This  is  the  sin  John  is  referring  to 
(I  John  3:4),  when  he  says  "whosoever  committeth  sin."  He  is 
talking  to  the  old  man  of  sin  that  is  in  the  members,  for  he  knows 
your  intentions  when  this  old  man  is  crippling  you,  and  he  knows 
the  old  man  is  crippling  you  every  once  in  a  while  and  bringing  you 
to  sin.  As  Paul  says  in  Rom.  7 123,  we  will  know  what  it  means  to 
be  captive ;  it  means  against  our  will,  that  we  are  doing  something 
we  would  rather  not.  Then  Paul  says,  "it  is  no  more  I  that  do  it, 
but  the  old  man  of  sin."  We  know  whether  we  are  willing  to  do 
anything  against  God's  will  or  not.  If  there  is  not  another  living 
person  that  knows,  we  know ;  and  that  is  why  God  says  there  is 
not  one  that  is  able  to  judge  another.  They  do  not  know,  if  they 
see  you  doing  something  you  ought  not,  whether  it  is  against  your 
will  or  not.  If  it  is  against  your  will,  you  know;  and  if  it  is,  you 
would  rather,  a  thousand  times,  not  do  it.  Then  it  is  not  you 
doing  it,  but  the  old  man  of  sin,  and  you  know  whether 
you  are  sorry  or  not.  If  it  is  not  your  will  to  do  this  or  that,  you 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  415 

are  going  to  try  very  hard  to  stop  and  get  away  from  that  sin.  You 
must  try  to  get  that  sin  out  of  your  body.  Every  true  Christian 
has  this  hope  that  John  speaks  of  in  I  John  3 13 :  "Every  man  that 
hath  this  hope  in  him  purifieth  himself,  even  as  he  is  pure."  Are 
we  right  if  we  have  not  this  hope?  The  majority  of  Christians  will 
tell  you  that  they  do  not  know  anything  about  sanctification,  holi- 
ness, or  a  pure  heart,  even  after  they  have  been  Christians  for  years. 
It  stands  to  reason  that  they  have  not  this  hope;  and  if  not,  they 
have  not  this  godly  sorrow ;  and  where  are  they  in  their  Christian 
lives  before  God?  Are  they  not  lukewarm?  What  does  God  say.J 
He  would  that  we  were  either  hot  or  cold.  Rev.  3:15,  16:  "1 
know  thy  works,  that  thou  art  neither  cold  nor  hot:  I  would  thou 
wert  cold  or  hot.  So  then,  because  thou  art  lukewarm,  and  neither 
cold  nor  hot,  I  will  spue  thee  out  of  my  mouth."  What  are  we 
but  as  Revelation  says  if  we  have  not  this  hope  that  we  will  be 
purified  here,  because  God  says  we  must  purify  ourselves.  That 
work  is  left  for  us  to  do,  and  when  we  do  our  part  God  helps  us. 
This  hope  within  the  inner  man  would  alone  keep  us  from  sinning 
within  our  hearts;  that  is  why  the  Lord  says,  in  I  John  3:9:  "Who- 
soever is  born  of  God  doth  not  commit  sin."  In  the  last  clause  of 
the  6th  verse  of  this  chapter,  the  Lord  is  speaking  of  the  sinner 
that  has  the  old  man  of  sin  in  his  heart.  This  man  is  not  converted. 
This  is  the  condition  of  many  professed  Christians,  both  Catholics 
and  Protestants.  See  James  3:10.  The  Lord  here  is  speaking  to 
those  who  believe  in  a  life  of  faith,  because  he  calls  them  my 
brethren.  He  says:  "Out  of  the  same  mouth  proceedeth  blessing 
and  cursing.  My  brethren,  these  things  ought  not  so  to  be."  The 
nth  verse:  "Doth  a  fountain  send  forth  at  the  same  place  sweet 
water  and  bitter?"  And  again,  in  the  I2th  verse:  "Can  a  fig-tree, 
my  brethren,  bear  olive-berries?"  One  cannot  be  sweet  and  pleas- 
ant and  all  right  one  week  or  month.  I  have  known  Christians  to 
stay  good-natured  a  whole  month  at  a  time,  and  then  get  angry  at 
something  and  say  hateful  words.  I  tell  you  there  !s  something 
wrong  when  we  try  to  love  and  dislike  out  of  the  same  heart,  and 
James  says,  "My  brethren,  these  things  ought  not  so  to  be."  The 
kind  of  people  spoken  of  in  James  3:10-12  are  double-minded,  as  he 
says  in  the  8th  verse  of  the  4th  chapter.  They  have  a  mind  one 
day  to  bless  and  another  day  to  curse,  and  one  time  to  like  and 
another  to  dislike.  This  is  the  way  Christians  do  that  carry  around 
in  the  flesh  the  old  man  of  sin.  That  is  why  your  hear  sinners 
say  they  have  seen  Christians  do  things  they  would  not  do.  That 
is  why  the  Lord  tells  us  to  get  out  of  the  way  of  sinners,  not  to 
be  a  stumbling-block  or  stand  in  the  way  of  sinners.  The  only  way 
we  can  get  out  of  their  way  is  to  have  this  hope  of  purifying  our- 
selves. Only  God  knows  how  much  the  church  is  standing  in  the 


4l6  THE     LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

way  of  the  world.  Great  harm  is  done  by  church  members 
talking  about  one  another  and  the  ungodly  hearing  of  it.  I 
do  not  know  of  an  instance  of  a  sinner  stumbling  over  me. 
but  I  do  know  of  many  church  members  getting  offended 
at  me,  not  from  what  I  had  said  nor  what  I  had  done  to 
them,  but  because  I  followed  the  way  the  Lord  led  me.  I  never 
felt  condemned  as  long  as  I  did  not  offend  them  in  word,  because 
James  tells  us  that  in  many  things  we  offend  all.  God  tells  me 
that  I  am  perfect  and  able  to  control  my  whole  body,  and  how  coultf 
I  feel  condemned  when  God's  word  did  not  condemn  me.  Th.  / 
could  not  even  condemn  my  conversation,  as  spoken  of  in  James 
3:13.  I  do  believe  in  giving  the  devil  his  just  dues  anyway.  It  is 
not  so  essential  for  us  to  pay  attention  to  one  another's  ways,  or 
even  to  the  filth  of  the  flesh,  as  to  acquire  the  answering  of  a  good 
conscience  toward  God.  (i  Peter  3:21.)  The  main  object  is  or 
should  be  for  every  one  of  us  to  put  away  the  filth  of  the  flesh  in 
order  to  have  a  good  conscience.  This  is  why  I  do  not  believe 
in  abusing  anyone  because  of  their  dress  or  habits,  or  what  they 
eat  or  drink;  for  if  they  have  this  hope  in  themselves  they  will 
become  pure  in  these  things  as  the  Holy  Spirit  shows  it  to  them. 
He  will  condemn  them  and  lead  them ;  and  it  is  not  for  us  to  abuse 
this  one  or  that  one,  but  to  pray  for  them,  that  they  may  live  in 
this  verse  (i  Pet.  2:12):  "Having  your  conversation  honest." 
May  God  help  us  to  be  honest.  Some  one  may  ask  what  is  the 
meaning  of  the  word  lust.  See  James  1:15;  also  I  John  2:16: 
"For  all  that  is  in  the  world,  the  lust  of  the  flesh,  and  the  lust  of 
the  eyes  and  the  pride  of  life,  is  not  of  the  Father,  but  is  of  the 
world."  We  can  have  the  lust  of  pride  and  the  lust  of  anger  and 
if  we  care  to  indulge  in  these  things  or  have  a  liking  for  them  and 
have  no  desire  to  get  rid  of  them,  then  the  I5th  verse  tells  us  the 
love  of  the  Father  is  not  in  us. 

CHAPTER  XXV. 

As  I  have  been  trying  to  tell  a  little  story  about  the  inward 
and  outward  man,  we  will  see  what  God  says  about  the  two 
together,  the  old  man  and  the  new  man.  This  is  a  good 
heading  to  start  with  (II  Pet.  3:16)  :  "In  which  are  some  things 
hard  to  be  understood."  But  if  you  will  depend  on  the  Holy  Spirit 
he  will  reveal  the  word  of  God  to  your  understanding.  It  is  the 
word  that  will  show  you  the  old  man  and  the  new,  not  me;  and 
whatever  you  do  read  carefully  this  scripture  (Col.  3:12):  "Put 
on  therefore,  as  the  elect  of  God,  holy  and  beloved,  bowels  of 
mercies,  kindness,  humbleness  of  mind,  meekness,  long-suffering.'* 
Notice  the  words  "put  on"  and  the  words  "put  off."  "Put  off"  is 
referring  to  the  putting  off  of  the  old  man.  "Put  on"  means  put 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  417 

on  the  new  man.  Col.  3:8:  "But  now  ye  also  put  off  all  these: 
anger,  wrath,  malice,  filthy  communications  out  of  your  mouth." 
Rom.  7:15:  "That  which  I  do."  Rom.  7:17,  18:  "For  I  know  that 
in  me  (that  is,  in  my  flesh,)  dwelleth  no  good  thing";  then  it  is 
the  bad  thing,  and  that  thing  is  the  old  man  and  his  deeds.  20th 
verse:  "Now  if  I  do  that  I  would  not."  2ist  verse:  "When  I 
would  do  good,  evil  is  present  with  me."  25th  verse:  "But  with 
the  flesh  I  sin";  or  do  things  I  should  not,  as  we  have  a  smooth 
way  of  saying  it — it  does  not  sound  so  bad.  Rom.  7 124 :  This  body 
of  death;  wretched  man.  Why?  Because  he  is  the  old  man.  Rom. 
6:16:  "Know  ye  not,  that  to  whom  ye  yield  yourselves  servants  to 
obey,  his  servants  you  are  to  whom  ye  obey;  whether  of  sin  unto 
death,  or  of  obedience  unto  righteousness."  ipth  verse:  "I  speak 
after  the  manner  of  men,  because  of  the  infirmities  of  your  flesh." 
See,  he  is  talking  to  you  as  though  you  had  not  been  converted,  for 
he  is  talking  to  the  old  man.  Can  you  not  see  he  speaks  to  you 
as  man,  for  you  know  you  yield  your  members,  the  tongue  especially, 
when  you  get  angry.  He  says  in  the  two  last  lines  of  the  iQth 
verse,  "Yield  your  members  servants  to  righteousness,  unto  holi- 
ness," showing  you  he  is  trying  to  get  these  men  to  stop  letting  tlie 
old  man  have  his  way  in  the  flesh.  Paul  knew  in  their  hearts  they 
loved  God,  but  not  enough  to  try  to  overcome  the  flesh  and  get 
rid  of  the  old  man  entirely.  Let  us  see  what  kind  of  a  make-up 
this  old  man  is.  Rom.  8:6.  "To  be  carnally  minded  is  death." 
5th  verse :  "For  they  that  are  after  the  flesh,  do  mind  the  things 
of  the  flesh."  7th  verse :  "The  carnal  mind  is  enmity  against  God/' 
Now  this  is  the  mind  of  the  old  man  that  you  are  carrying  around 
in  your  body.  This  is  the  result  (i3th  verse)  :  "For  if  ye  live 
after  the  flesh,  ye  shall  die."  You  see  who  he  is  talking  to;  not 
sinners,  for  they  already  are  dead  in  sin;  but  he  is  talking  to  peo- 
ple that  are  alive,  and  he  says  if  you  will  overcome  the  flesh  you 
shall  live.  Now  you  know  he  could  not  talk  to  a  sinner  like  that, 
advising  him  to  overcome  before  he  is  converted.  See  I3th  verse. 
Now  what  are  you  going  to  do  if  you  do  not  get  rid  of  this  carnal 
mind?  As  long  as  you  are  in  the  flesh  you  cannot  please  God. 
(Rom.  8:8.)  This  old  man  is  willing  only  according  to  what  he 
sees.  He  has  eyes  (n  Cor.  5:7)  ;  he  walks  by  sight.  11  Cor.  8:11: 
"Now  perform  the  doing  of  it."  Gal.  5:17:  "Ye  cannot  do  the  things 
that  ye  would."  Why?  Because  you  are  just  as  Paul  said  he  was 
at  first— the  flesh  was  in  the  way,  the  old  man,  the  outward  man. 
He  will  and  must  perish,  and  let  us  not  faint  because  of  this  cause. 
This  is  the  old  man's  mind,  a  fleshly  mind  (Col.  2:18).  When  you 
are  always  looking  at  anything  in  an  evil  way,  remember  your  body 
is  full  of  darkness.  This  is  the  outward  man  (11  Cor.  4:16);  it 
is  he  that  causes  this  darkness.  Luke  11:34:  "When  thine  eye 


4l8  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

is  evil,  thy  body  also  is  full  of  darkness."  Remember  this  dark- 
ness that  is  in  the  body  weakens  the  inward  spiritual  man.  Paul 
said  in  Rom.  7:15,  16,  that  he  could  not  do  as  he  would,  but  did  that 
which  he  hated,  because  of  this  old  man,  sin  in  the  body.  The  inward 
man  was  trying  to  see  through  the  same  eyes  the  old  man  is  using. 
Luke  11:35:  "Take  heed  therefore,  that  the  light  which  is  in  you 
be  not  darkness."  There  is  the  mind  within  the  mind.  James  4:8: 
"Purify  your  hearts,  ye  double-minded."  I  John  3:4:  "Whosoever 
committeth  sin  trangresseth  also  the  law."  I  John  3:9:  "Who- 
soever is  born  of  God  doth  not  commit  sin;  for  his  seed  remaineth 
in  him;  and  he  cannot  sin,  because  he  is  born  of  God."  You  see, 
it  is  (the  law  of  sin  in  the  body,  and  it  is  this  double-mind  that 
is  causing  this.  Can  you  not  see  it  is  the  law  of  sin  in  the  flesh — - 
that  it  is  not  the  inward  man,  that  the  inward  man  cannot  sin?  Are 
you  spiritual  enough  to  discern?  Rom.  7:15:  "I  allow  not."  This 
is  the  inward  man  that  John  speaks  of  who  says  in  Rom.  7:17,  18, 
"Then  it  is  no  more  I  that  do  it."  Why?  Because  I  myself  have 
become  part  of  this  new  man  which  is  now  dwelling  in  the  heart. 
Does  not  this  agree  with  I  John  3:9,  and  with  Rom.  7:20,  "It 
is  no  more  I  that  do  it;"  and  with  the  22nd  verse,  "For  I  delight 
in  God,  after  the  inward  man" — which  is  the  new  man.  See  the 
difference  between  this  man  and  the  one  that  we  have  just  been 
trying  to  picture  (25th  verse)  :  "So  then,  with  the  mind  I  myself 
serve  the  law  of  God."  See,  that  is  the  man  who  cannot  sin.  Why? 
Because  his  seed  remaineth  in  him,  and  he  cannot  sin  because  he  is 
born  of  God.  Rom.  7:24:  "Who  shall  deliver  me?"  This  is  the 
new  man  wanting  to  be  delivered  from  the  old  man  that  he  is  carry- 
ing around.  Rom.  6:17:  "Ye  have  obeyed  from  the  heart."  i8th 
verse:  "This  will  make  you  free."  When  you  are  the  servant  of 
righteousness,  the  heart  and  will,  with  the  strength  of  the  new  man, 
will  enable  you  to  be  made  free  from  this  body  of  sin.  II  Cor.  5  :j . 
"We  walk  by  faith,  not  by  sight."  All  we  need  eyes  for  is  to  read 
God's  word;  but  when  it  comes  to  living  it  we  can  just  shut  our 
eyes  and  walk  by  faith.  This  is  the  way  the  inward  man  walks, 
ii  xCor.  8:11,  12:  "For  if  there  be  first  a  willing  mind,  it  is 
accepted."  But  you  must  be  led  by  the  Spirit  and  you  will  not  be 
under  the  flesh  long.  (Gal.  5:18;  I  Pet.  3:4.)  This  is  the  hidden 
man  of  the  heart.  This  man  is  the  inward  man,  and  God  says  he 
shall  be  renewed  day  by  day.  II  Cor.  4:16:  "For  which  cause  we 
faint  not;  but  though  our  outward  man  perish,  yet  the  inward  man 
is  renewed  day  by  day."  That  is  plain  enough  for  anyone  to 
see.  There  are  two  men,  the  outward  and  the  inward.  Unless  this 
outward  man  perishes,  and  you  lay  aside  the  old  man's  deeds,  there 
is  danger  of  the  inward  man  failing  to  resist.  He  gets  so  he  does 
not  care  and  lets  all  hope  go  within.  Why?  Because  you  are  not 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  419 

living  up  to  the  word  of  God.  You  are  not  trying  to  get  rid  of  the 
old  man.  The  only  way  you  can  renew  the  inward  man  day  by 
day  is  to  feed  him  on  the  word  of  God.  If  you  do  that  you  arc 
made  clean  through  the  truth,  and  then  there  is  no  more  warfare 
in  you.  When  you  give  up  trying  to  overcome  the  outward  man,  lust 
is  conceived,  and  you  begin  to  sin.  James  1:15:  "Then,  when  lust 
has  conceived,  it  bringeth  forth  sin;  and  sin,  when  it  is  finished, 
bringeth  forth  death."  You  may  ask  when  is  it  finished.  Heb. 
10:26  tells  you:  "For  if  we  sin  wilfully  after  that  we  have  re- 
ceived the  knowledge  of  the  truth,  there  remaineth  no  more  sacri- 
fice for  sins."  We  then  become  as  is  said  of  Esau,  in  Heb.  12:17. 
He  found  no  place  of  repentance,  though  he  sought  it  carefully  with 
tears ;  but  it  was  not  a  godly  sorrow.  He  was  sorry  only  because 
he  got  the  worst  of  it.  You  may  say  I  did  not  sin  wilfully.  You 
and  your  God  knows  and  no  one  else,  whether  you  are  yielding 
inwardly  to  temptation  or  not;  whether  in  your  heart  you  would 
rather  do  right;  whether  you  have  the  longing  desire  not  to  give 
up  the  faith. 

There  is  danger  if  we  do  not  try  to  get  rid  of  this  old  man 
of  sin  in  the  flesh.  Let  us  read  what  James  says  about  the  condition 
of  a  Christian  that  is  still  carrying  around  with  him  the  infirmities 
of  the  flesh  or  sin  in  the  flesh.  James  calls  it  lust.  Now  he  is 
talking  to  Christians,  for  he  says  in  James  1:16:  "Do  not  err,  my 
beloved  brethren."  You  know  he  would  not  tell  a  sinner  not  to 
err,  for  they  already  are  living  in  errors.  James  1:15:  "Then 
when  lust  hath  conceived."  Notice  this  word  conception.  How  is 
this  lust  going  to  take  conception?  It  is  when  we  yield  to  tempta- 
tion. There  is  much  danger  of  this  inner  man  getting  weak  from 
us  yielding  our  members  to  those  different  lusts  when  we  are 
tempted,  till  he  (the  inner  man)  will  fail  to  resist  any  longer  and 
the  inward  parts  of  you  will  be  willing  as  the  outward  man  is ;  and 
then  the  lust  has  taken,  or  has  conceived,  and  it  becomes  a  sin  because 
the  inner  man  fails  to  resist.  He  gets  so  he  does  not  care  and  lets 
all  hope  go  within,  and  James  tells  us  when  this  work  is  finished  it 
bringeth  forth  death.  There  are  few  who  will  suffer  as  the  apostles 
did  of  bid  in  separating  themselves  from  sin;  many  get  into  a 
condition  something  like  that  of  Esua.  (Heb.  12:17.)  We  can  go 
far  enough  so  God  will  reject  us.  This  does  not  look  as  if  once 
in  grace  always  in  grace,  or  once  saved  always  saved.  If  Esau  had 
done  as  he  ought,  and  what  he  could  have  done,  he  would  have 
found  a  place  for  repentance ;  but  it  looks  as  if  he  sinned  wilfully. 
He  knew  better  and  could  do  better,  but  he  just  went  ahead,  and 
then  when  he  wanted  to  do  right  there  was  no  desire  in  his  heart 
that  God  would  accept,  though  he  did  shed  tears.  Then,  again,  in 
I  John  5:16:  "If  any  man  see  his  brother  sin  a  sin  which  is  not 


420  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

unto  death,  he  shall  ask,  and  he  shall  give  him  life,  for  them  thai 
sin  not  unto  death.  There  is  a  sin  unto  death ;  I  do  not  say  he  shall 
pray  for  it."  I7th  verse :  "All  unrighteousness  is  sin ;  and  there 
is  a  sin  not  unto  death."  That  sin  is  the  sin  I  have  told  you  of — 
the  outward  man  sinning,  and  not  the  inward  man.  But  it  was  not 
so  in  Esau's  case.  It  was  the  inward  man  that  sinned.  Oh,  what 
danger  there  is  of  the  inward  man  in  us  sinning !  i8th  verse :  "We 
know  that  whosoever  is  born  of  God  sinneth  not."  God  says  we 
know  this.  Why?  Because  "he  keepeth  himself."  God  expects 
something  of  us,  and  when  we  become  like  this  new  man  we  will 
talk  like  Job  9:20,  21 :  "If  I  justify  myself,  mine  own  mouth  shall 
condemn  me:  If  I  say,  I  am  perfect,  it  shall  also  prove  me  per- 
verse. Though  I  were  perfect,  yet  would  I  not  know  my  soul :  I 
would  despise  my  life."  This  is  why  I  do  not  believe  in  saying  we 
have  a  clean  heart,  when  Job  did  not  know  his  own  soul.  Let  some- 
one else  say  that  for  us ;  but  let  us  live  pure  and  holy  and  without 
sin,  and  not  talk  about  it  ourselves.  I  John  i  :8 :  "If  we  say  that 
we  have  no  sin,  we  deceive  ourselves,  and  the  truth  is  not  in  us." 
We  sin  when  we  say  we  have  no  sin,  because  we  are  judging  our- 
selves. Even  Paul  did  not  dare  to  judge  himself.  But  if  we  will 
confess  God  will  cleanse  us.  He  does  forgive  a  sinner,  but  he  will 
cleanse  a  Christian  if  he  continues  to  confess.  I  John  9,  10,  have 
reference  to  a  sinner  that  says  he  has  not  sinned.  Let  us  live  with- 
out sin  in  the  inner  man  and  the  outward  man.  Let  us  be  this  new 
man  inside  and  out.  When  we  are,  we  will  not  talk  so  much  about 
it,  but  we  will  live  this  life.  If  we  walk  in  the  light  as  he  is  in  the 
light  the  blood  cleanses.  (I  John  1:7.)  If  we  do  not,  look  out; 
before  we  realize  it  we  will  be  stepping  aside,  out  of  the  light  into 
the  shadows.  We  must  live  pure  and  holy.  This  is  the  new  man 
when  separated  entirely  from  the  old  man.  He  has  got  rid  of  the 
sin  of  the  flesh.  Col.  3  :io :  "Put  on  the  new  man  which  is  renewed 
in  knowledge."  Now  the  new  man  is  put  on.  He  has  been  in.  He 
has  been  mentioned  all  through  as  the  inward  man,  but  now  he  is 
put  on.  How  was  he  put  on?  By  being  renewed  in  knowledge. 
He  has  got  where  he  understands,  and  the  old  man  has  taken  a 
walk.  This  is  the  new  man's  mind ;  to  be  spiritually  minded.  To 
be  spiritually  minded  is  life  and  peace.  Eph.  4:24:  "And  that  ye 
put  on  the  new  man,  which  after  God  is  created  in  righteousness 
and  true  holiness."  That  is  the  way  this  man  is  created  that  we 
put  on.  This  is  the  hidden  man  with  the  meek  and  quiet  spirit 
which  is  in  the  sight  of  God  of  great  price.  (I  Peter  3:4.)  God 
does  not  create  him  out  of  the  ground,  but  out  of  righteousness. 
Eph.  i  :i8,  speaks  of  the  eye  of  the  new  man.  This  eye  is  placed 
in  his  understanding,;  and  after  he  has  got  rid  of  the  sinful  law  in 
the  flesh  this  is  the  way  his  natural  eye  is — the  one  he  used  to  see 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  421 

evil  in  almost  everything  with  (Luke  11-34):  "The  light  of  the 
body  is  the  eye:  therefore  when  thine  eye  is  single,  thy  whole  body 
also  is  'full  of  light."  The  eye  is  made  clean  from  seeing  evil, 
through  God  giving  him  a  clean  heart.  The  new  man  has  the  mind 
of  Christ  I  Cor.  2:16:  "But  we  have  the  mind  of  Christ."  Phil. 
2:5:  "Let  this  mind  be  in  you,  which  was  also  in  Christ  Jesus." 
I  John  3:6:  "Whosoever  abideth  in  him  sinneth  not."  But  the 
last  of  this  verse  does  not  belong  to  one  that  has  just  been  con- 
verted. That  belongs  to  the  old  man  alone.  Some  one  may  ask 
what  the  sin  against  the  Holy  Ghost  is.  This  may  be  committed 
some  place  along  in  their  experience  as  a  saint,  after  the  work  of 
sanctification  is  completed.  I  know  God  tells  us  in  Heb.  6:4-6: 
"For  it  is  impossible  for  those  who  were  once  enlightened,  and 
have  tasted  of  the  heavenly  gift,  and  were  made  partakers  of  the 
Holy  Ghost,  and  have  tasted  the  good  word  of  God,  and  the  power 
of  the  world  to  come,  if  they  shall  fall  away,  to  renew  them  again 
unto  repentance."  It  is  like  in  the  time  of  Christ  when  they  cruci- 
fied him  the  first  time.  He  was  put  to  an  open  shame  once,  and 
he  will  not  forgive  a  sin  like  that  against  the  Holy  Ghost,  for  the 
fourth  verse  says  they  were  enlightened.  It  is  not  often  one  will 
sin  when  they  get  that  far  in  their  experience.  There  are  few 
Ananiases  and  Saphiras  today. 

As  I  have  told  you  how  I  have  been  tempted  and  tried,  let 
us  see  what  God  says  about  temptation  and  what  a  wonderful  thing 
it  is  to  be  tempted.  Many  would  be  ashamed  to  speak  of  their 
trials  and  temptations,  but  Paul  was  not,  David  was  not,  and,  thank 
God,  I  am  not.  Let  us  see  what  he  says  in  Heb.  5 :2 :  "Who  can 
have  compassion  on  the  ignorant,  and  on  them  that  are  out  of  the 
way;  for  that  he  himself  also  is  compassed  with  infirmity."  Heb. 
4:15:  "But  was  in  all  points  tempted  like  as  we  are,  yet  without 
sin."  It  means  bitter  suffering  to  be  tempted.  Heb.  2:18:  "For 
in  that  he  himself  hath  suffered,  being  tempted,  he  is  able  to  succor 
them  that  are  tempted."  And  he  will  not  let  us  be  tempted  above 
that  which  we  are  able  to  bear,  for  he  says  so.  That  is  why  it  is 
dangerous  for  us  to  yield  when  we  are  tempted,  because  we  could 
bear  it.  As  I  think  of  all  my  divers  temptations,  God  knows  I 
count"  it  all  joy.  (James  1:2.)  I  know  by  my  own  experience  they 
have  been  for  my  good;  and  how  could  I  feel  hard  toward  anyone? 
God  says  in  II  Thes.  1 :6 :  "Seeing  it  is  a  righteous  thing  with 
God  to  recompense  tribulation  to  them  that  trouble  you."  Though 
I  were  made  a  gazing-stock  both  by  reproaches  and  afflictions, 
spoken  of  in  Heb.  10:33,  I  did  not  feel  resentment.  The  people 
are  not  afraid  to  speak  against  God's  servants  today.  Human  na- 
ture is  just  the  same  as  it  was  in  the  time  of  the  children  of  Israel. 
(Num.  12:1-9.)  Who  would  think  that  God  on  his  throne  gets 


422  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

angry  at  people  who  speak  against  one  of  his  children,  especially 
one  of  his  servants.  I  know  if  Moses  ever  was  called  I  have  been. 
He  called  me  as  he  called  David.  I  Chron.  17  7 :  "Thus  sayeth  the 
Lord  of  hosts,  I  took  thee  from  the  sheepcote,  even  from  following 
the  sheep."  Though  he  did  not  take  him  in  one  day  from  following 
sheep  and  place  him  on  the  throne.  Neither  did  he  take  Moses  in 
a  year  or  five  years  and  then  tell  him  to  lead  the  children  of  Israel 
out  of  Egypt;  'but  he  sent  him  away  into  the  wilderness  to  get 
forty  years'  experience.  While  David  was  getting  the  kind  of  ex- 
perience the  Lord  wanted  him  to  have,  he  put  him  to  herding 
sheep.  I  suppose  he  had  a  sheep  ranch,  as  they  are  called  in  Colo- 
rado. This  is  the  kind  of  university  he  attended  to  prepare  him- 
self as  a  leader.  The  Lord  surely  led  me  to  take  up  these  several 
branches  of  work  I  have  mentioned,  for  the  last  twenty-one  years,  till 
I  got  the  experience  he  wanted  me  to  have,  to  learn  the  lessons  h-; 
had  to  teach  me.  Now  I  feel  I  am  ready.  As  I  am  about  to  close 
this  book  I  leave  serving  tables.  From  this  time  on  to  my 
dying  hour  I  would  not  think  it  reasonable  that  I  should  ever  again 
leave  the  word  of  God  and  serve  tables.  You  will  find  this  scrip- 
ture in  Acts  6:2.  I  wish  to  say,  as  expecting  all  classes  and  kinds 
and  nationalities  to  read  this  book,  while  some  will  criticise  it,  and 
others  believe  every  word  to  be  true,  there  will  be  a  class  that 
will  doubt  it,  and  they  are  spoken  of  in  the  word  of  God,  Deut. 
32 128 :  "For  they  are  a  nation  void  of  counsel,  neither  is  there  any 
understanding  in  them."  Oh,  how  I  do  pray  there  will  not  be 
one  but  what  will  believe  and  be  saved.  As  said  in  the  2pth  verse 
of  the  same  chapter:  "O  that  they  were  wise,  that  they  under- 
stood this,  that  they  would  consider  their  latter  end."  Gods  knows 
this  is  my  prayer. 

If  we  will  stop  to  think  we  can  understand  this  simple  story. 
God  says  a  child  can  understand  and  a  fool  need  not  err  therein. 
It  is  harder  work  to  graduate  on  the  line  of  experience  than  it  is 
upon  that  of  education.  To  tell  a  simple  story  that  a  child  can 
understand  and  a  fool  need  not  err  therein,  means  a  spiritual  edu- 
cation, and  this  we  can  get  only  by  experience.  It  is  the  best  an  J 
safest  way.  Even  after  we  graduate  we  can  learn  every  day  by 
experience  things  we  cannot  learn  in  the  school-room.  We  can  learn 
to  control  our  own  spirits,  and  it  does  not  take  grammar  to  do  this. 
It  takes  knowledge,  not  of  the  world,  but  the  knowledge  the  Holy 
Ghost  reveals  to  us  through  God's  word.  He  is  the  one  that  con- 
victs of  sin,  and  of  righteousness  and  the  judgment.  Righteousness 
only  means  a  right  life.  God  says  when  we  think  we  know  we  do 
not  know  anything  as  we  should  know  it.  It  stands  to  reason  that 
we  must  be  as  though  we  knew  nothing  in  order  for  the  Holy  Ghost 
to  teach  us.  If  we  knew  we  would  need  no  teacher.  Another  thing 


OR,     SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  423 

that  looks  reasonable  is  that  we  cannot  depend  on  education,  even  if 
we  are  college  graduates,  for  we  must  be  led  by  the  Spirit  in  order 
to  teach  this  simple  truth.  It  is  so  simple  that  it  is  harder  to  get 
down  to  its  simplicity  than  it  is  to  go  up  to  the  highest  grade  in 
education.  That  is  the  reason  God  says  those  who  are  up  must 
come  down  and  those  who  are  down  come  up.  The  one  who  is  up 
has  the  hardest  task,  for  he  has  two  branches  to  learn  where  the 
other  has  one.  The  college  man  or  woman  has  to  come  down, 
while  I  have  had  nothing  to  do  but  go  up.  We  know  if  we  would 
say  that  religion  depended  on  education  to  teach  it,  that  we  would 
be  bigger  fools  than  the  one  God  speaks  of  in  his  word,  for  it  surely 
does  not  take  years  of  education  to  teach  a  fool  or  a  child  some- 
thing that  their  minds  can  grasp.  If  I  thought  it  did  I  would  feel 

I  was  the  biggest  fool  of  the  two.    It  takes  long  to  learn  spiritual 
things  and  live  the   bible,  and  have  a  real  good   experience  with 
all  classes  of  the  human  race  and  all  kinds  of  sin,  and  to  learn  the 
cunningness  of  the  devil,  so  as  to  be  able  to  write  as  Paul  did  in 

II  Cor.  2:4.     There  is  such  a  thing  as  being  ignorant  of  the  ways 
of  the  devil,  and  to  get  acquainted  with  him  we  must  become  spirit- 
ual— that  means,  become  converted.  God  tells  us,  in  I  Cor.  3:18:  "Let 
no  man   deceive  himself.     If  any  man   among  you   seemeth   to  be 
wise  in  this  world,  let  him  become  a  fool,  that  he  may  be  wise." 
We  must  start  out  in  these  spiritual  things  as  though  we  did  not 
know  anything,  then  the  Spirit  will  teach  us.     ipth  v. :     "He  takes 
the  wise  in  their  own  craftiness."     2Oth  v. :  "The  Lord  knoweth 
the  thoughts  of  the  wise,  that  they  are  vain."    We  g^t  the  knowledge 
of  the  world  and  the  spiritual  knowledge  mixed    in    the    iQth  v. : 
"For  the  wisdom  of  this  world  is  foolishness  with  God."  It  takes  us 
so  long  to  learn  not  to  call  jealousy  watchfulness,  and  quarreling  ear- 
nestness, and  covetousness  economy ;  and  it  takes  us  so  long  to  learn 
the  difference  between  stubbornness  and  firmness.     Don't  call  fret- 
fulness  nervousness.     Don't   say   you   are    humble    when    you  arc 
bound  to  have  your  own  way.     Don't  say  you  are  meek  when  you 
are  conceited.     Don't  say  you  are  filled  with  the  Spirit  unless  you 
have  the  fruits  of  the  Spirit.     Don't  say  you  are  all  for  Jesus  when 
you  seldom  give  one  dollar  to  the  cause;  and  above  all,  don't  say 
you'll  bear   anything  for  Jesus  when  you   fly  into   a  passion  over 
trifles.     It  does  take  us  so  long  to  know  how  to  be  honest  with  God. 
We  think  we  are  honest  and  that  we   would  do  anything  for  the 
Lord,  and  it  would  hurt  our  feelings  if  someone  told  us  we  did 
not  know  ourselves;  but  when  the  test  comes  we  are  surprised  and 
even  have  to  acknowledge  that  we  are  not  as  strong  as  we  thought 
we  were,  and  that  we  didn't  know  as  much  as  we  thought  we  did. 
That  is  in  us  all.     It  was  in  Peter,  and  it  is  nothing  but  experience 
that   will   take   it   out — real  bible,   spiritual    experience.  •  It    is   like 


4^4  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL      WILD 

separating  life  from  our  bodies  to  separate  ourselves  from  these 
things,  for  the  human  race  is  conceited  and  sin  has  made  it  so. 
Nothing  but  a  real  good  conversion,  with  a  real  good  Christian  ex 
perience  and  a  Christian  life  lived  secretly  and  publicly,  will  give 
us  this  education  or  knowledge.  It  means  much  suffering,  much 
experience,  and  so  I  must  say  again,  we  are  just  ready  to  live 
when  we  must  die.  We  get  things  backward,  like  this  scripture, 
James  1:19:  "Wherefore,  my  beloved  brethren,  let  every  man  be 
swift  to  hear,  slow  to  speak,  slow  to  wrath."  We  get  the  last  firsi 
and  the  first  last.  We  are  swift  to  wrath,  and  swift  to  speak,  and 
swift  to  hear  things  we  ought  not,  and  the  only  thing  we  are  slow 
in  is  to  get  the  right  understanding  of  God's  word.  In  those  two 
lines  and  four  words  (a  small  verse),  this  word  "slow"  is  used  twice 
and  we  only  use  it  once,  and  the  word  "swift"  is  only  used  once  and 
we  use  it  three  times.  Even  while  I  have  been  writing  this  booK 
the  last  year,  oh!  how  swift  the  members  of  different  denomina- 
tions have  been  in  speaking  of  me.  One  Baptist  sister  who  has 
worked  with  me  for  years — a  nice  godly  sister,  a  worker  for  the 
Lord — got  tangled  up  in  the  scripture  in  James  and  used  the  word 
swift  when  the  word  should  not  have  been  used  at  all ;  and  she  is  a 
grammarian,  at  least  she  thinks  so.  I  do  not  deny  it,  but  she  surely 
got  the  wrong  word  in  the  wrong  place;  almost  as  bad  as  I  when 
I  got  the  hole  by  the  tale  and  threw  it  through  the  dog.  Oh,  so 
swift  she  was  to  say  I  was  going  to  hell  as  fast  as  I  could  and 
was  taking  a  poor  brother  who  had  been  a  Christian  and  had  fallen 
and  gone  back  into  the  curse  drink,  with  me.  This  dear  Brother  I — 
has  a  wife  and  four  children,  two  girls  and  two  boys;  the  oldest 
girl  will  soon  be  18.  This  sister  could  not  have  believed  the  doc- 
trine of  her  own  church, — once  in  grace,  always  in  grace, — or  I 
surely  could  not  have  been  on  my  way  to  hell.  Even  the  grocery 
man,  and  the  butcher,  and  baker,  and  doctor,  and  the  drug  store 
man  were  interested  in  my  business  this  last  year  when  told  I  had 
stopped  doing  so  much  of  the  work  I  had  been  doing.  The  latter 
expressed  his  joy  that  I  stopped  having  so  many  hoboes  around, 
and  gave  vent  to  his  feelings  by  telling  his  customers  so,  and  it  has 
come  to  me.  Though  he  was  a  graduate,  a  smart,  intelligent  busi- 
ness man,  he  did  not  know  how  to  tend  to  his  own  business,  and 
did  not  know  that  this  is  the  greatest  business  that  can  be  learned  in 
this  world.  He  had  learned  how  to  make  money,  but  he  did  not 
have  the  heart-learning,  and  will  not  have  it  till-  he  has  graduated 
in  the  spiritual  college  of  the  word  of  God  and  had  years  of  ex- 
perience on  the  line  of  salvation.  By  the  time  he  shows  himself  a 
worker,  rightly  divining  the  word  of  God,  he  will  find  he  has  all  he 
can  do  without  tending  to  me  or  anyone  else,  unless  he  is  a  shep- 
herd over  a  flock.  Some  of  these  classes  of  worldly  college  men 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  42  n 

and  women  did  not  have  learning  enough  to  fill  their  heads,  so 
they  had  room  enough  to  think  I  needed  a  body-guard.  I  was  visit- 
ing two  persons,  trying  to  get  them  on  the  track  of  salvation.  One 
was  a  single  man  and  the  other  was  a  married  one.  The  wife  sent 
for  me  by  one  of  the  children.  She  wanted  me  to  talk  and  pray 
with  her  husband.  One  evening  was  not  enough;  I  must  come 
down  two  night  out  of  the  week,  and  every  night  for  a  while,  until 
I  got  him  started.  The  question  may  be  asked  by  some  Christians, 
they  not  understanding,  how  can  these  things  be?  So  the  learned 
Nicodemus  asked,  thinking  it  all  right  anyway,  but  strange.  Had 
he  not  the  influence  of  his  wife  and  children  and  the  home  in- 
fluence? Was  not  that  enough  without  the  influence  of  another 
woman  or  Christian  ?  They  could  not  see  but  it  was  all  right  if  she 
(Mrs.  Peterson)  does  go  there.  He  has  a  body-guard,  and  there 
could  be  nothing  wrong  if  she  goes  and  talks  with  him  till  10  and 
she  gets  home  near  n.  If  her  influence  is  helping  this  married 
man,  that's  all  right.  But  that  young  man ;  his  mother  is  dead,  and 
the  home  is  all  broken  up,  and  he  has  no  sister's  influence.  He  has 
no  wife  or  children  or  home  influence,  and  he  has  no  body-guard. 
It  will  not  do  for  Sister  Peterson  or  anyone  else  to  go  to  that 
brother's  room  and  sit  down  and  stay  two  or  three  hours  and 
talk  to  him  as  you  talk  to  that  married  man,  for  you  might  do 
wrong,  and  you  know  the  bible  says  to  shun  the  very  appearance 
of  evil.  It  is  all  right  to  shun  the  appearance  of  evil  in  worldly 
things.  But  God  says  we  are  to  go  on  when  we  know  we  are  doing 
his  will,  whether  it  appears  evil  to  the  people  or  not.  The  people 
will  quote  that  passage  of  scripture  more  than  any  other,  though  it 
only  occurs  once  in  the  bible.  The  evil-minded  person  cannot  see 
these  things,  for  the  teaching  of  Christ  is  a  mystery  to  him,  though 
he  be  as  wise  as  Nicodemus.  Another  wise  act  of  some  of  our 
wise  workers  was  shown  in  one  of  our  Christian  homes.  A  sister 
came  to  my  house  with  her  heart  almost  broken,  and  I  gave  her  a 
chair  and  told  her  to  sit  down  and  tell  me  her  story.  She  .said 
she  did  not  know  what  to  do  and  she  had  come  for  me  to  tell 
her.  As  Job  said,  I  told  her  to  talk  on,  or  to  say  on.  She  said : 
"You  know,  Sister  Peterson,  that  poor  crippled  soldier  who  has 
been  staying  at  my  house— the  brother  who  had  his  eyes  operated 
on  and  spoiled  the  looks  of  his  face,  besides  his  being  crippled." 
With  all  this  deformity  he  drank,  and  got  to  going  to  this  sister's 
home,  and  with  her  influence  it  was  not  long  till  you  could  see  a 
change  in  him.  I  had  not  seen  him  sitting  on  the  beer-kegs  in 
front  of  the  saloons  for  a  long  time,  and  I  wondered  what  had 
become  of  him.  Oh,  how  my  heart  ached  for  him!  I  could  not 
help  it.  He  had  no  one  to  take  an  interest  in  him,  and  no  one  to 
love  him,  for  he  was  not  a  lovable  object,  if  one  stopped  for  looks — 


426  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

all  crippled  as  he  was,  besides  the  drink.  But  it  was  not  long  till 
I  saw  the  reason  why  he  was  not  seen  sitting  on  the  beer-kegs. 
This  sister  had  taken  an  interest  in  him,  and  of  course  she  got  into 
trouble.  I  never  saw  one  who  did  such  work  that  did  not.  She 
wanted  me  to  tell  her  what  to  do.  I  knew  the  poor  fellow  was 
better  by  her  influence.  She  said :  "There  were  two  sisters  at  my 
house  the  other  day  who  said  I  must  throw  him  out- — make  him 
leave  the  house.  If  I  did  not  he  would  send  my  soul  to  hell.  It 
did  not  look  right,  and  I  could  not  live  a  Christian  with  him  in  the 
house.  You  know,  the  bible  says  to  shun  the  appearance  of  evil." 
I  said:  "Oh,  sister,  how  can  you  do  such  a  thing?"  She  said: 
"I  have  come  to  know  what  to  do."  I  said :  "Let  the  Christians  say 
what  they  like  about  how  it  looks  but  you  do  right  by  him.  You 
know  he  has  no  one  to  take  an  interest  in  him;  and  if  you  want  to 
live  right,  he  will  not  hinder  you ;  and  if  you  want  to  do  wrong,  his 
being  away  from  the  house  will  not  stop  you.  All  I  have  to  sa> 
is  for  you  to  be  as  a  sister  to  him.  He  needs  a  sister."  But  they 
had  him  going  to  hell  and  her  with  him.  These  Christian  people 
have  too  many  people  going  to  hell,  and  they  would  be  surprised 
if  they  found  some  of  these  people  in  heaven,  and  they  in  the  other 
place  where  they  are  having  so  many  go  if  they  see  them  do  or 
say  something  a  little  out  of  the  usual  order.  God  help  the  Chris- 
tian who  is  always  saying  that  someone  is  going  to  hell !  I  got  on 
my  wheel  and  went  with  her  to  her  home.  This  poor  brother 
was  there,  feeling  so  bad  to  think  the  Christians  would  talk  as  they 
did,  and  said  to  me:  "Sister  Peterson,  must  I  leave  my  home? 
This  has  been  more  of  a  home  to  me  than  I  have  had  for  years.  I 
am  50  now,  and  you  do  not  know  the  comfort  I  have  taken  here." 
When  he  learned  that  I  had  advised  Sister  S —  to  be  a  sister  to  him, 
he  was  rejoiced,  and  said:  "Sister  Peterson,  you  don't  know  how 
thankful  I  am  to  you.  Do  you  know  I  feel  like  kissing  you  for  your 
goodness  to  me."  And  I  said :  "You  dear  soul,  if  you  want  to 
kiss  me,  you  can."  Why,  I  just  pitied  him;  and  I  know  he  never 
felt  better  toward  his  own  sister  than  he  did  to  me,  and  what  a 
love  come  into  my  heart  for  that  poor,  unlovable  soul.  He  was  sick 
at  the  time,  and  it  was  not  long  after  that  he  died,  and  his  last 
word  was  a  prayer — praying  the  dear  Lord  to  help  him.  Then  I 
knew  why  the  Lord  led  me  to  advise  this  sister  as  I  did,  that 
he  would  not  die  in  a  saloon,  for  he  died  suddenly.  He  was  able 
to  be  around,  and  he  was  just  as  liable  to  die  sitting  on  a  beer-keg, 
or  in  some  cheap  rooming  house  with  no  one  to  look  after  him. 
A  few  days  after  his  death  Sister  S —  received  a  letter  from 
his  people  in  Buffalo,  New  York,  thanking  her  for  her  kindness 
to  him;  and  who  can  doubt  but  that  he  is  where  there  is  rest 
and  peace  forever.  He  went  praying.  Some  may  be  surprised  to 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  427 

see  him  there,  but  I  will  not  be.  I  know  the  Lord  led  me  to 
persuade  this  sister  to  give  him  a  home  and  led  us  to  be  kind  and 
loving  to  him.  This  is  what  will  lead  others  to  God— they  seeing 
our  good  works,  which  leads  them  to  glorify  our  Father  which  is 
in  heaven.  We  are  not  to  separate  ourselves,  as  the  majority  think. 
If  we  did  they  could  not  see  our  works.  Following  is  the  letter 
to  Sister  S— : 

BROOKLYN,  NEW  YORK. 

"DEAR  MADAM  :  My  mother  read  your  letter.  Suppose  we  shall 
never  reach  your  city,  but  if  we  do  it  shall  afford  us  great  pleasure 
to  thank  you  in  person  for  all  the  favors  you  have  rendered  to  her 
brother.  Again  thanking  you  and  your  husband  for  all  you  have 
done.  She  is  glad  that  he  fell  into  good  hands  and  thanks  you 
very  much  for  your  interest  in  him,  an  entire  stranger. 

"I  remain,  his  nephew,  THOMAS  A.  BELONG, 

"60  Devoe  street,  Brooklyn,  N.  Y." 

This  is  the  gratefulness  of  his  loved  ones,  and  we  as  Christians 
should  have  the  same  interest  and  gratefulness. 
I,  with  Paul,  rejoice  in  mine  infirmities. 

RACHEL'S  INFIRMITIES. 

Like  Paul,  I  can  say  from  the  heart,  I  most  gladly  therefore 
will  rather  glory  in  my  infirmities.  God  knows  I  do.  Also  in  the 
reproaches  I  have  received  on  every  hand;  in  necessities,  for  1 
have  had  more  than  the  world  or  the  church  knows  of;  in  persecu- 
tions without  number.  One  would  not  think  God  calls  on  his  chil- 
dren of  this  day  and  age  to  go  through  such  distresses  in  order  to 
do  his  whole  will.  I  have  been  called  a  fool.  In  my  labors,  with 
Paul,  my  life  has  been  threatened.  I  have  been  beaten  for  doing 
the  will  of  God.  I  have  been  in  peril  among  false  brethren  an.l 
with  false  letters — more  letters  than  Paul  had  stripes.  Oh,  such 
weariness  and  painfulness  in  sickness,  compelled  to  watching  often 
both  night  and  day,  late  and  early,  at  home  and  abroad.  None  but 
God  knows  what  I  have  endured  in  hungering,  fasting,  in  cold  and 
nakedness,  as  my  wardrobe  will  prove.  Besides  these  things  that 
are  without,  that  which  cometh  upon  me  in  my  home  daily,  the  care 
of  the  sick,  the  homeless  and  friendless.  If  I  glory,  I  will,  by  the 
grace  of  God,  glory  in  mine  infirmities.  II  Cor.  11:31:  "The  God 
and  Father  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  which  is  blessed  for  ever- 
more, knoweth  that  I  lie  not."  As  Paul  said  he  did  not  lie,  I  can 
say  the  same,  for  God  knows  what  I  have  written  is  true. 

PAUL'S    INFIRMITIES. 

II  Cor.  2:9-11:  "Most  gladly  therefore  will  I  rather  glory  in 
mine  infirmities  that  the  power  of  Christ  may  rest  upon  me.  There- 


428  Tf?.E      LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

fore  I  take  pleasure  in  mine  infirmities,  in  reproaches,  in  neces- 
sities, in  persecutions,  in  distresses  for  Christ's  sake;  for  when  I 
am  weak,  then  am  I  strong.  I  am  become  a  fool  in  glorying."  II 
Cor.  11:23-31:  "In  labours  more  abundant,  *  *  *  in  deaths 
oft.  *  *  *  Thrice  was  I  beaten  with  rods.  *  *  *  In  perils 
among  false  brethren;  in  weariness  and  pain,  watchings  often,  in 
hunger  and  thirst,  in  fastings  often,  in  cold  and  nakedness.  Be- 
side these  things  that  are  without,  that  which  cometh  upoa  me 
daily,  the  care  of  all  the  churches.  If  I  must  needs  glory,  I  will 
glory  of  the  things  which  concern  mine  infirmities.  *  *  *  The 
God  and  Father  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  which  is  blessed  for- 
evermore,  knoweth  that  I  lie  not." 

SAYINGS   OF  iTHE   TRUTH. 

Eph.  4 :3 :  Endeavoring  to  keep  the  unity  of  the  Spirit  in  the 
bond  of  peace. 

I  Sam.  16 :7 :     For  the  Lord  seeth  not  as  man  seeth ;  for  man 
looketh  on   the  outward  appearance,  but  the   Lord  looketh  on  the 
heart. 

II  Sam.  7:1:     God  gave  David  rest  from  all  his  enemies. 

II  Sam.  22:30:  For  by  thee  I  Jiave  run  through  a  troop;  by 
my  God  have  I  leaped  over  a  wall. 

II  Sam.  24:14:  Let  us  fall  now  into  the  hand  of  the  Lord; 
for  his  mercies  are  great;  and  let  me  not  fall  into  the  hands  of 
man. 

I  Kings  11:4:  Solomon's  heart  was  not  perfect  with  the  Lord 
his  God,  as  was  the  heart  of  David  his  father. 

I  Kings  14 :8 :    The  Lord  said  unto  Jeroboam.  And  yet  thou  hast 
not  been  as  my  servant  David,  who  kept  my  commandments  and  who 
followed  me  with  all  his  heart,  to  do  that  only  which  was  right  in 
my  eyes. 

II  Kings  8:19:     God  would  not  destroy  Judah,  for  David  his 
servant's  sake. 

II  Kings  20:6:  I  will  defend  this  city  for  my  own  sake,  and 
for  my  servant  David's  sake. 

~ob  23:10:     He  hath  tried  me,  I  shall  come  forth  as  gold. 

tj.  35:21:  Yea,  they  opened  their  mouth  wide  against  me, 
and  sau,,  Aha,  aha !  our  eye  hath  seen  it. 

Ps.  41:1:  Blessed  is  he  that  considereth  the  poor;  the  Lor'J 
will  deliver  him  in  time  of  trouble. 

Ps.  60:11:  Give  us  help  from  trouble:  for  vain  is  the  help  of 
man. 

Ps.  101 :5 :  Whoso  privately  slandereth  his  neighbour,  him  will 
I  cut  off. 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN     THE     ROUGH  429 

Ps.  105:15:  Touch  not  mine  anointed,  and  do  my  prophets 
no  harm. 

Prov.  2:4,  5:  If  thou  seek  her  (understanding)  as  silver  and 
search  for  her  as  hidden  treasures;  then  shalt  thou  understand. 

Prov.  4  .-23 :  Keep  thy  heart  with  all  diligence ;  for  out  of  It 
are  the  issues  of  life.  I 

Prov.  3  :7 :     Be  not  wise  in  thine  own  eyes. 

Prov.  14:12:  There  is  a  way  which  seemeth  right  unto  man,  but 
the  end  thereof  are  the  ways  of  death. 

Prov.  15:12:     A  scorner  loveth  not  one  that  reproveth  him. 

Prov.  16:2:  All  the  ways  of  a  man  are  clean  in  his  own  eyes. 
7th  verse:  When  a  man's  ways  please  the  Lord  he  maketh  even 
his  enemies  to  be  at  peace  with  him.  8th  verse:  Better  is  a  little 
with  righteousness,  than  great  revenues  without  right.  i8th  verse : 
Pride  goeth  before  destruction,  and  a  haughty  spirit  before  a  fall. 

Prov.  17:1:  Better  is  a  dry  morsel  and  quietness  therewith, 
that*  a  house  full  of  sacrifices  with  strife.  4th  verse:  A  wicked 
doer  giveth  heed  to  false  lips  and  a  liar  giveth  ear  to  a  naughty 
tongue,  pth  verse:  He  that  covereth  a  transgression  seeketh 
love.  I7th  verse:  A  friend  loveth  at  all  times. 

Prov.  18:9:  He  also  that  is  slothful  in  his  work  is  brother  to 
him  that  is  a  great  waster. 

Prov.  30:8,  9:  Remove  far  from  me  vanity  and  lies;  give  me 
neither  poverty  nor  riches ;  feed  me  with  food  convenient  for  me : 
lest  I  be  full,  and  deny  thee,  and  say,  Who  is  the  Lord?  or  lest  I 
be  poor,  and  steal,  and  take  the  name  of 'my  God  in  vain. 

Is.  i  :23 :  And  the  destruction  of  the  transgressors  and  of 
the  sinners  shall  be  together,  and  they  that  forsake  the  Lord  shall 
be  consumed. 

Ez.  16:44:     As  is  the  mother,  so  is  her  daughter. 

Amos  3:3:     Can  two  walk  together,  except  they  be  agreed? 

Amos  8:6:     We  may  buy  the  needy  for  a  pair  of  shoes. 

John  3:27:  Jo.hn  answered,  and  said,  A  man  can  receive  noth- 
ing, except  it  be  given  him  from  heaven. 

John  6:27:  Labour  not  for  the  meat  which  perisheth,  but  for 
that  meat  which  endureth  unto  everlasting  life. 

II  Cor.  6:14:  Be  ye  not  unequally  yoked  together  with  unbe- 
lievers. 

II  'Cor.  12:15:     The  more  I  love  you  the  less  I  be  loved. 

II  Cor.  13:10:  I  write  these  things  being  absent,  lest  being 
present  I  should  use  sharpness. 

Gal.  1:10:  If  I  yet  please  men,  I  should  not  be  the  servant 
of  Christ. 

Gal.  2  :i6 :    We  are  not  saved  by  works  of  the  law. 


43°  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

Heb.  12 :2i :  And  so  terrible  was  the  sight,  that  Moses  said, 
I  exceedingly  fear  and  quake. 

James  5  :g  Grudge  not  one  against  the  other,  brethren,  lest 
ye  be  condemned :  behold,  the  Judge  standeth  before  the  door. 

I  Pet.  4:12:     Beloved,  think  it  not     strange,  concerning     the 
fiery  trial  which  is  to  try  you,  as  though  some  strange  thing  hap- 
pened unto  you. 

Jude,  3 :  Ye  should  earnestly  contend  for  the  faith  which  was 
once  delivered  unto  the  saints. 

Rev.  20:1-3:  And  I  saw  an  angel  coming  down  from  heaven, 
having  a  key  to  the  bottomless  pit  and  a  great  chafn  in  his  hand. 
And  he  laid  hold  on  the  dragon,  that  old  serpent,  which  is  the  Devil, 
and  Satan,  and  bound  him  a  thousand  years,  and  cast  him  into  the 
bottomless  pit,  and  shut  him  up,  and  set  a  seal  upon  him,  that  he 
could  deceive  the  nations  no  more,  till  the  thousand  years  should 
be  fulfilled ;  and  after  that  he  must  be  loosened  a  little  season. 

Acts  20:29:  For  I  know  this,  that  after  my  departing  shall 
grievous  wolves  enter  in  among  you,  not  sparing  the  flock. 

Joshua  10:13,  14:  And  the  sun  stood  still,  and  the  moon 
stayed,  until  the  people  had  avenged  themselves  upon  their  enemies. 
*  *  *  The  sun  stood  still  in  the  midst  of  heaven,  and  hasted 
not  to  go  down  about  a  whole  day.  And  there  was  no  day  like  that 
before  it  or  after  it,  that  the  Lord  hearkened  unto  the  voice  of  a 
man :  for  the  Lord  fought  for  Israel. 

Joshua  23:10:  One  man  of  you  shall  chase  a  thousand:  for 
the  Lord  your  God,  he  it  is  that  fighteth  for  you,  as  he  hath  prom- 
ised you.  > 

Gal.  6:1:  Considering  thyself,  lest  thou  also  be  tempted. 

Prov.  17 :22 :  A  merry  heart  doeth  good  like  a  medicine :  but 
a  broken  spirit  drieth  the  bones. 

James  4:11:    Speak  not  evil  one  of  another,  brethren. 

Proy.  22:6:  Train  up  a  child  in  the  way  he  should  go:  and 
when  he  is  old,  he  Will  not  depart  from  it. 

Ex.  31 :3,  4 :  I  have  filled  him  with  the  spirit  of  God,  in  wisdom, 
and  in  understanding,  and  in  knowledge,  and  in  all  manner  of 
workmanship  to  devise  cunning  works. 

Eph.  4:8:  When  he  ascended  upon  high,  he  led  captivity  cap- 
tive, and  gave  gifts  unto  men. 

Lev.  ii  144:    Ye  shall  be  holy  for  I  am  holy. 

Deut.  14:2:    Thou  art  an  holy  and  a  peculiar  people. 

II  Cor.  12:14:     For  the  children  ought  not  to  Tay  up  for  the 
parents,  but  the  parents  for  the  children. 

Deut.  4:9:  Take  heed  to  thyself,  *  *  *  but  teach  them  thy 
sons,  and  thy  sons'  sons. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  431 

Prov.  10:12:  Hatred  stirreth  up  strifes:  but  love  covereth  all 
sins. 

Lev.  19:3:  Ye  shall  fear  every  man,  his  mother,  and  his 
father,  and  keep  my  sabbaths :  I  am  the  Lord  your  God. 

Deut.  20:3:  Fear  not,  and  do  not  tremble,  neither  be  ye  terri- 
fied because  of  your  enemies. 

Deut.  32:20:  Children  in  whom  is  no  faith.  39th  verse:  I  kill, 
and  I  make  alive,  I  wound,  and  I  heal. 

Eph.  2  :g :    Not  of  works,  lest  any  man  should  boast. 

I  Tim.  6:10:    They  have  erred  from  the  faith. 

I  Tim.  5:12:  Having  damnation,  because  they  have  cast  off 
their  first  faith. 

I  Sam.  9:9:    Before  time  in  Israel,  when  a  man  went  to  inquire 
of  God,  thus  he  spake,  Come,  and  let  us  go  to  the  seer:  for  he  thai 
is  now  called  a  Prophet  was  before  time  called  a  Seer.  i9th  verse: 
And  Samuel  answered  Saul,  and  said,  I  am  the  seer. 

II  Sam.  24:11:     For  when  David  was  up  in  the  morning,  the 
word  of  the  (Lord  came  unto  the  prophet  Gad,  David's  seer,  saying — 

Rev.  16:14:  They  are  the  spirits  of  devils,  working  miracles, 
which  go  forth  unto  the  kings  of  the  earth. 

CHAPTER   XXVI. 

I  CLOSED  my  book  proper  five  years  ago  this  month,  believing 
that  the  time  had  come  to  go  to  work  in  the  vineyard  of  the  Lord. 
With  this  impression  I  prepared  my  wardrobe  and  secured  a  ticket 
for  Cripple  Creek,  Colo.,  and  was  on  my  way  the  2d  of  April.  For 
six  weeks  I  prayed  "without  ceasing"  for  God  to  show  me  definitely 
if  he  wanted  me  to  go.  I  had  nothing  but  the  word  still  coming 
to  me.  Matt.  19:29:  "And  everyone  that  hath  forsaken  houses,  or 
brethren,  or  sisters,  or  father,  or  mother,  or  wife,  or  children."  He 
does  not  want  even  the  nearest  one  on  earth  to  stand  in  the  way 
of  him;  not  even  a  husband  or  wife  may  stand  in  the  way  of  the 
salvation  of  souls.  We  may  be  separated  in  this  life  for  a  few  years, 
but  together  in  the  life  to  come,  if  we  do  his  bidding.  We  cannot 
go  except  we  be  called.  Rom.  10:15:  "And  how  shall  they  preach, 
except  they  be  sent?"  No  one  but  God  can  send  us.  I  knew  -he  had 
sent  me,  and  I  had  obeyed  the  call,  though  I  had  not  forsaken  all, 
in  a  sense  the  Lord  would  have  one  that  is  called.  We  cannot 
serve  tables  and  preach  the  gospel  at  the  same  time  successfully. 
This  is  only  reason.  No  one  could  be  a  tradesman  and  a  profes- 
sional man  at  the  same  time  and  be  a  success.  I  wanted  to  know 
definitely  that  the  Holy  Ghost  had  "separated"  me  for  the  work  of 
the  Lord.  (Acts  13:2,  4.)  And  while  I  was  getting  ready,  I  was 
waiting  for  the  witness  of  this  separation.  It  did  come,  but  it  wa<* 
after  I  had  bought  my. ticket.  Some  one  may  ask  why  did  he  not 


432  THE     LONG-LOST     RACHEL     WILD 

let  you  know  before  you  bought  the  ticket.  For  three  reasons. 
He  says  in  his  word:  "Try  the  spirits  to  see  if  they  are  of  him." 
Secondly:  "His  ways  are  not  our  ways."  Thirdly:  I  could  not 
understand  fully  until  I  had  bought  my  ticket  and  started.  As  we 
turned  down  Thirty-fifth  avenue  I  was  still  praying,  asking  the  Lord 
if  this  was  the  time  for  me  to  go.  An  impression  came  to  my  heart, 
like  a  hand  laid  on  my  breast,  directing  me  to  go  back.  One  might 
say  that  would  be  a  natural  feeling  in  leaving  home.  So  it  would 
to  one  who  did  not  want  to  go,  or  to  one  who  had  to  go,  but  I  was 
going  willingly.  All  I  wanted  was  to  feel  in  my  soul  and  heart 
that  this  was  the  time,  and  was  pleasing  to  the  Lord.  I  knew  he 
would  let  me  know,  but  I  did  not  know  when,  and  when  he  did 
come,  oh,  I  knew  it  was  him.  I  talked  to  the  Lord  just  as  I  would 
to  you.  "O  Lord,  please  let  me  go,"  I  said.  "I  have  my  ticket  and  I 
will  promise  to  come  back  in  a  few  wee-ks."  So  I  did,  and  I  saw 
why  he  did  not  want  me  to  go  to  Cripple  Creek.  It  was  because 
of  my  enemies.  Some  were  there  who  had  sat  in  judgment  against 
me  at  the  trial,  and  they  did  all  they  could  against  me.  One  of  my 
sisters  in  Christ  wrote  to  Cripple  Creek,  and  told  a  sister  that  she 
did  not  want  me  to  have  anything  to  do  with  the  work  she  was 
interested  in.  Do  you  see  the  Lord  did  not  want  me  to  go  there 
to  preach  my  own  cause,  or  plead  my  case?  He  wanted  me  to 
preach  the  gospel  and  that  I  could  not  do  with  God's  believing  chil- 
dren against  me.  There  was  another  reason.  My  child  was  just 
coming  into  womanhood,  and  he  showed  me  the  time  had  come  now 
to  live  for  her.  Though  we  are  to  forsake  all,  God  shows  us  when 
that  time  comes,  and  I  had  other  lessons  to  learn,  which  will  be  as 
helpful  to  mothers  and  the  salvation  jof  young  girls  as  if  I  had  gone 
at  that  time  into  the  work  of  the  Lord,  for  if  I  had  not  had  the  ex- 
perience that  I  have,  I  could  not  tell  the  story,  nor  advise  mothers 
and  young  girls  as  I  now  can.  My  daughter  was  then  fourteen. 
I  came  back  the  last  of  May,  in  time  to  get  my  daughter  ready  for 
the  last  days  of  school.  The  fall  before  was  when  the  Lord  began 
to  lead  me  in  regard  to  my  daughter.  It  was  on  Labor  day.  I  did 
not  know  God  led  mothers  so  definitely  in  regard  to  the  welfare  of 
their  children  till  I  had  had  this  experience.  I  could  not  under- 
stand the  leading  at  first,  but  to  make  it  plain  to  you  I  will  tell 
you  of  it.  On  Labor  day  my  daughter  asked  permission  to  call  upon 
a  school-girl  friend  who  only  lived  a  few  blocks  from  our  home. 
She  had  been  gone  but  a  few  minutes  when  I  called  on  my 
niece,  the  second  door  away  from  me.  My  daughter  and  her  friend 
soon  rode  up  to  the  gate  /on  their  wheels  and  asked  if  they  could 
go  out  to  City  park  that  afternoon  with  a  couple  of  school-boy 
friends  of  this  young  girl.  I  had  known  her  and  her  mother  for 
several  years,  but  there  came  a  fear  to  my.  heart.  I  did  not  know 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  433 

why,  and  I  began  to  ask  God  about  it.  I  did  not  readily  answer,  for 
I  was  praying  to  know  the  will  of  God,  and  Ruby  inquired: 
"Mamma,  what  are  you  thinking  about?  Why  don't  you  say 
whether  I  can  go  or  not?"  "Ruby,"  I  answered,  "I  am  praying." 
"Why,  mamma,  what  do  you  want  to  pray  for?"  she  rejoined.  I 
told  the  girls  what  a  fear  had  come  to  me.  I  thought  perhaps 
they  would  be  hurt  on  their  wheels.  I  knew  they  could  have  gone 
to  the  park  from  this  girl's  home,  and  I  would  not  have  known  any- 
thing about  it.  So  many  girls  and  boys  now-a-days  never  think 
of  asking  permission  from  their  parents.  I  must  say  my  daughter 
has  the  first  time  to  go  anywhere  before  asking  me,  and  she  will 
soon  be  twenty.  Some  young  people  would  say  that  she  is  a  "sissy" 
to  hang  to  her  mother's  apron-strings,  but  I  think  you  will  see  dif- 
ferently as  you  read.  Anyway,  you  will  as  you  get  older,  and  have 
experiences  for  yourselves.  The  girls,  especially  Ruby,  wonderec 
what  it  could  mean.  She  knew  from  the  time  she  could  remem- 
ber how  impressions  would  come  to  me.  And  she  knew  they  came 
from  the  Lord.  Her  bright  face  became  serious,  and  she  wondered 
if  it  could  be  that  some  one  would  run  into  them,  the  park  being 
crowded  on  a  day  like  that.  I  could  not  think  of  anything  else  that 
would  cause  such  a  fear.  They  promised  me  they  would  be  care- 
ful, and  would  be  at  home  at  five.  The  park  was  only  a  few  blocks 
from  our  home,  and  I  knew  the  ride  would  do  them  good.  I  said 
they  could  go,  and  as  they  rode  away  on  their  wheels  I  prayed  the 
Lord  to  keep  them  from  harm.  I  went  into  the  house  and  told  my 
niece  the  presentiment  I  had  had,  and  we  tried  to  imagine  every- 
thing would  be  well.  I  could  not  feel  that  she  was  going  to  be 
hurt,  and  I  had  learned  to  trust  her  in  everything.  I  prayed  the 
Lord  to  forgive  me  for  not  understanding  him,  but  I  knew  that  if  I 
would  be  watchful  and  prayerful,  the  Lord  would  show  me  what 
the  fear  meant.  The  girls  returned  safe,  and  it  was  during  Christ- 
mas week,  when  there  was  no  school,  that  this  same  girl  came  in 
and  asked  if  Ruby  could  go  over  to  her  house,  as  the  boys  were  over 
there  and  wanted  to  see  her.  I  waited  to  see  if  I  would  feel  the 
same  fear  again,  but  did  not.  I  let  her  go.  The  last  of  April  she 
came  again,  and  said  the  boys  were  over  at  her  house,  and  wanted 
to  take  them  to  the  matinee  on  Saturday  afternoon.  I  said  she 
could  go  this  time,  but  if  the  boys  came  again  for  her  to  bring 
them  over;  that  Ruby  should  not  go  again  except  they  came  and 
went  from  her  own  home.  I  did  not  think  it  looked  nice  for  her 
to  meet  the  boys  over  there.  They  could  take  it  turn  about.  She 
and  the  boys  could  go  from  there  next  time.  It  was  only  a  few 
weeks  till  she  brought  the  boys  over  to  the  house.  It  was^the  first 
time  I  had  met  them.  They  were  fine  looking  boys,  with  good 
manners.  I  could  see  before  they  had  been  in  'my  presence  ten 


434  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

minutes  that  one  of  the  young  men  and  Ruby  had  taken  a  particular 
notion  to  each  other.  -  She  had  told  me  several  times  before  that 
she  thought  he  was  a  very  nice  young  man,  and  that  she  liked  him, 
but  I  thought  nothing  of  it.  But  this  Sunday  afternoon  convince  * 
me  there  was  something  in  it.  They  wanted  to  j£o  to  the  theater, 
I  told  them  I  did  not  believe  anyone  should  go  to  the  theater  on 
Sunday— that  there  was  time  enough  through  the  week.  But  they 
had  the  tickets,  and  they  begged  and  pleaded  for  me  to  let  her  go, 
and  I  could  see  what  a  disappointment  it  would  be  to  her  and  the 
two  boys.  Bee's  mother  said  she  could  not  go  if  Ruby  did  not,  and 
I  did  not  have  the  heart  to  disappoint  all  of  them,  so  I  consented. 
This  was  a  year  before  I  went  to  Cripple  Creek.  The  boys  and 
Bee  came  over  several  times  while  I  was  gone.  It  was  after  I  came 
back  that  I  understood  why  this  fear  came  to  me  the  first  time  they 
went  out  riding.  It  took  me  a  whole  year  to  understand  that  it  was 
not  the  will  of  the  Lord  that  girls  and  boys  should  go  together 
at  that  age.  I  was  so  sorry  I  did  not  know  the  leading  of  the  Lord, 
and  made  up  my  mind  that  I  would  make  the  best  of  it,  ever 
trusting  him  to  help  me. 

I  realized  that  this  was  another  reason  why  the  Lord  sent  me 
back  home.  As  a  mother  this  was  my  place.  Girls  need  a  mother 
at  this  age  more*  than  at  any  other  time  of  their  life,  and  when  my 
heart  would  long  to  go  into  the  work,  the  thought  would  come,  in 
answer  to  my  longings,  "Not  yet."  Now  I  can  see  so  plainly  that 
my  duty  was  with  this  child.  She  needed  me  as  a  mother,  as  a 
companion,  as  a  chaperone — every  moment  her  friend  and  counselor, 
her  sympathizer,  her  all  in  all.  Oh,  how  much  depended  upon  me! 
You  see,  the  Lord  Jdid  not  want  me  to  have  to  go  through  such  an 
experience,  but  I  could  not  understand  his  leadings.  I  had  to 
learn,  and  how  good  of  God  to  work  out  for  good  all  things  that 
come  to  those  who  love  him.  Not  for  thousands  of  dollars  would  I 
be  without  this  experience.  It  taught  her  a  lesson  that  will  be  a 
blessing  to  her  all  her  life.  It  was  a  year  of  testing,  though  she  was 
only  fourteen.  I  begged  her  to  forbid  him  coming  to  see  her.  I 
shall  never  forget  that  afternoon.  It  was  after  she  had  come  home 
from  school.  I  was  lying  on  the  couch  when  she  came  into  the 
room.  She  pulled  the  sewing  machine  out  into  the  middle  of  the 
floor,  and  as  she  sat  there  finishing  her  apron,  I  thought  now  is  my 
time  to  talk  to  her.  While  I  insisted  that  they  were  too  young  to 
know  their  own  minds,  I  watched  the  different  expressions  that 
would  come  and  go  on  her  bright  face.  One  minute  she  woull 
have  a  hopeful  expression,  and  then  one  of  fear.  What  pleased 
me  most,  she  was  so  free  to  tell  me  everything!  She  kept  nothing 
back.  Her  love  and  hopes  and  fears  were  freely  expressed.  Some 
mothers  would  not  have  listened.  They  would  have  compelled  her 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  435 

to  submit  to  their  wishes  and  judgment  without  reasoning  with  the 
child.  Not  but  what  I  was  as  determined  as  any  mother  could  be, 
but  I  wanted  her  to  learn  a  life-time  lesson.  What  if  it  did  cause 
me  extra  trouble?  "Now,  mamma,"  'she  would  say,  "do  let  him 
come!  You  know  he  is  a  perfect  gentleman."  <And  I  would  an- 
swer :  "My  child,  where  do  you  find  your  boys,  if  you  call  him  a 
man  ?"  And  she  would  reply :  "Now,  mamma,  you  know  what  I 
mean."  And  so  I  did.  And  then  I  went  on  to  show  her  she  did 
not  know  what  she  was  doing.  Other  mothers  know  about  how 
much  headway  I  made  in  trying  to  convince  her.  "Now,  mamma," 
she  says,  "we  can  go  out  and  have  such  a  nice  time  this  summer." 
I  already  knew  the  general  habits  of  the  boy.  He  was  as  good 
as  the  average.  He  had  a  good  mother  and  sisters.  Several  of 
the  neighbors  had  already  complimented  Ruby  in  having  such  a 
nice  young  man  for  her  company.  He  was  large  of  his  age  and 
old  in  his  ways.  As  I  have  already  told  you,  I  always  had  to  talk  to 
Ruby  as  if  she  were  a  girl  five  years  older.  So  you  see  I  had  a 
hard  problem.  I  prayed  God  to  help  me  and  the  Holy  Spirit  to 
lead  me,  that  I  might  accomplish  what  I  intended  to  without  a  cross 
word, — all  in  love  and  kindness  toward  the  young  man  as  well  as 
Ruby,  just  as  I  would  ask  any. mother  to  do  with  my  child.  I  knew 
I  must  deal  with  them  for  their  own  happiness  and  welfare,  not 
only  for  the  present,  but  for  life,  as  we  talked  that  afternoon. 
"Ruby,  you  know  my  plans — the  life  I  have  marked  out  for  you,"  I 
began.  "Not  but  what  you  can  have  company,  but  not  a  lover,  for 
ten  years  yet.  No  boy  or  girl  knows,  or  has  the  judgment  to  study 
one  another's  disposition  or  habits,  or  whether  they  are  alike  in 
their  ambitions.  In  fact,  my  child,  at  your  age  you  have  no  ambi- 
tions. You  and  L — •  haven't  had  time  yet  to  build  a  substantial 
character."  But  all  my  reasonings  were  in  vain.  We  closed  our 
conversation  that  afternoon  in  each  other's  arms  with  a  good  cry, 
and  I  was  more  determined  than  ever  to  help  develop  a  good,  wom- 
anly character,  one  that  could  look  this  fact  in  the  face,  and  realize 
as  far  as  possible  without  the  experience  what  it  meant  to  choose 
a  helpmate  and  a  companion  through  life.  To  do  this,  my  earnest 
prayer  was  for  knowledge  as  to  what  steps  I  should  take  first  that 
would  be  the  best  for  him  as  well  as  her.  I  wondered  if  he  really- 
cared  as  much  for  Ruby  as  I  knew  she  did  for  him.  From  what 
I  knew  of  him,  I  thought  he  loved  baseball  more  than  anything 
else.  Would  he  give  up  his  baseball  for  Ruby?  Some  one  may  ask 
why  I  would  ask  this.  I  will  tell  you.  I  believe  girls  and  boys 
should  retire  at  8  in  the  evening  in  the  winter  time  when  study- 
ing, and  at  9  in  summer,  not  with  a  novel  or  with  the  bible,  but 
to  sleep,  except,  perhaps,  when  company  comes  in  for  the.  evening 
once  or  twice  a  week.  You  must  begin  this  training  to  develop  the 


436  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

right  kind  of  habits  seven  months  before  your  boy  'or  girl  is  born, 
and  from  birth  until  they  are  twenty.  It  will  make  no  difference 
then  what  they  see  others  do,  they  will  do  as  you  bid  them,  because 
you  retire  at  an  early  hour  yourself,  because  you  do  not  read  novels, 
because  you  do  not  go  to  card  parties,  because  you  pray  and  rea-1 
your  bible  and  other  good  books,  are  industrious,  and  not  frivolous 
or  idle,  not  foolish  or  shallow,  not  easy  to  get  angry, 'but  kind  and 
good.  To  live  a  life  like  this  you  must  pray,  and  you  will  begin 
to  develop  a  character  several  months  before  your  children  are 
born,  and  it  will  be  finished  at  twenty. 

As  I  said,  I  wanted  to  find  the  idol  of  his  heart.  "Ruby,"  I  said 
to  her,  "you  know  he  uses  tobacco,  and  you  know  it  is  so  distasteful 
to  you  that  you  can't  bear  your  own  father  to  use  it.  Now  what 
are  you  going  to  do  with  L — ?"  "Oh,  mamma,  :he  will  stop  that  if  I 
ask  him,"  she  answered  with  all  the  confidence  of  her  childish  heart. 
"Well,  we  will  see,"  I  said.  "Oh,  I  know  he  will,"  came  next,  as 
she  give  her  head  a  childish  toss,  as  if  to  say  "you  do  not  think  so, 
but  I'll  show  you  how  much  he  thinks  of  me,"  and  our  test  began. 
The  next  Sunday  he  came,  and  wanted  me  to  let  Ruby  go  to  the 
theater.  I  said :  "L — ,  have  you  forgotten  my  position  the  last  time 
you  wanted  her  to  go  to  the  theater  on  Sunday  evening?"  He 
dropped  his  head  and  smilingly  said :  rtl  thought  you  had  forgotten." 
"Nto,  L — ,  if  you  wish  to  have  the  company  of  my  girl  you  must 
.  call  some  evening  during  the  week."  I  found  that  most  of  the 
boys  went  out  to  have  a  good  time  Saturday  evening,  spending  their 
money  and  sleeping  late  Sunday  morning,  and  that  they  did  not  go 
to  church.  I  knew  'this  was  not  the  kind  of  a  boy  I  wanted  my 
girl  to  (go  with.  "What  kind  of  a  character  is  he  building?"  I 
would  earnestly  ask  myself.  I  explained  to  her  the  difference  be- 
tween her  habits  and  his.  "I  will  not  ask  too  much  of  him  at  first/1 
I  told  her,  "but  we  will  see  if  he  will  stop  going  out  Saturday 
evenings."  I  could  see  he  did  not  like  the  idea,  but  he  agreed.  When 
Saturday  evening  came,  Ruby  was  all  ready  and  waited  till  half 
past  eight,  when  she  said :  "I  believe  that  L —  is  sick,  mamma." 
But  I  knew  better.  The  next  Sunday  evening  he  came,  and  stated 
that  he  was  sick.  I  could  see  that  it  was  not  sickness,  but  that  he 
was  tired  and  sleepy.  I  knew  that  he  had  been  out  late,  but  he 
again  promised  to  come  that  afternoon.  She  and  Bee  waited  till  4 
o'clock,  but  the  boys  did  not  come.  This  was  repeated  the  second 
time,  and  Ruby  was  convinced  that  there  was  something  wrong, — 
that  he  cared  for  the  ball  game  and  the  pleasure  of  going  out  with 
the  boys  more  than  he  enjoyed  her  company  He  pretended  that 
he  had  stopped  smoking.  The  first  time  I  met  his  mother  I  brought 
up  the  subject  of  the  habits  of  young  men.  and  asked  her  which  of 
the  boys  smoked.  She  told  me  they  both  had  the  habit,  and  then 


OR,      SEEKING     DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  437 

I  knew  that  he  was  deceiving  her  in  this  as  he  did  in  other  things.  I 
went  home  and  told  Ruby  that  he-  was  deceiving  her,  for  I  had 
found  out  from  his  mother.  "Remember,  Ruby,  you  are  not  the 
only  one  being  deceived,"  I  cautioned  her.  The  next  time  he  came 
I  gave  him  a  good  talking  to,  and  told  him  what  he  could  depend 
on.  It  seemed  to  grieve  him,  for  he  wept  and  promised  to  do  better. 
He  said  he  would  never  break  another  promise  with  her.  And  then 
he  asked  me  if  I  would  sanction  an  engagement.  I  told  him  1  knew 
this  was  coming.  "But  can  you  not  see  that  Ruby  is  tiring  of  you 
already  because  of  the  broken  promises?"  I  asked  him.  He  said  he 
would  make  that  all  right,  for  he  would  not  break  another  promise. 
I  knew  he  did  not  know  his  own  mind,  and  told  him  that  I  could 
not  think  of  an  engagement  between  them ;  that  they  could  make 
an  agreement  that  they  might  become  engaged  in  a  couple  of  years 
if  he  proved  faithful  and  kept  his  promises.  I  told  him  he  could  not 
live  the  life  he  was  living  and  have  any  kind  of  a  home  for  my 
daughter  if  I  gave  him  ten  years.  Then  I  went  on  to  tell  him  my 
idea  of  a  husband ;  that  he  should  own  a  good,  comfortable  home, 
well  furnished,  and  a  few  thousand  in  the  bank;  that  he  must  not 
expect  to  take  my  daughter  into  rented  rooms  and  share  poverty 
with  him.  They  had  been  coming  to  the  house  almost  a  year  be- 
fore I  could  make  them  feel  at  home  in  my  presence.  I  knew  I 
must  make  them  feel  free  or  I  could  not  acomplish  anything,  so 
the  next  Sunday  when  they  came  I  went  to  the  door  with  the  boys 
and  Ruby's  friend  Bee  and  kissed  them  all  good-night.  After  that 
the  ice  was  broken.  They  made  themselves  as  free  in  my  home  as 
in  their  own,  even  expressing  themselves  to  that  effect.  He  could 
not  keep  his  promises,  however,  so  one  Sunday  evening  late  in  the 
fall  he  came  up  to  the  house  with  this  same  dreary,  tired  expres- 
sion upon  his  face,  showing  that  he  was  still  at  the  same  old  habits. 
I  could  see  that  Ruby  was  disgusted.  She  could  not  treat  him  with 
courtesy,  but  did  not  have  the  courage  to  tell  him  just  how  she  felt 
toward  him.  It  took  much  persuasion  from  me  to  keep  Mr.  Peter- 
son from  telling  the  boys  to  stay  away.  With  Mr.  Peterson  feeling 
as  he  did,  I  was  impressed  that  evening,  and  I  knew  it  was  from 
the  Lord,  to  have  them  go  out  to  the  park,  so  the  four  went  with 
the  promise  to  be  back  in  an  hour.  It  was  the  first  time  I  had  given 
my  permission  for  them  to  go  to  the  park  without  accompanying 
them.  I  retired  early  that  evening,  that  I  might  be  alone  to  pray 
and  counsel  with  the  Lord  as  to  what  steps  I  should  take.  I  won- 
der if  ever  a  mother  came  to  God  for  her  child  as  I  did  that  even- 
ing! No  mother  could  have  given  up  her  child  in  death  any  more 
than  I  gave  her  up  that  evening.  I  told  the  Lord  I  .could  not  do 
anything  more.  The  most  difficult  feature  in  this  experience  was 
to  get  Ruby  to  see  the  difference  between  love  and  the  magnetic 


438  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

attraction  that  exists  between  those  of  the  opposite  sex.  Oh,  the 
foolish  boys  and  girls!  What  a  pity  they  cannot  see  or  realize  the 
difference  before  it  is  too  late !  If  they  could  only  choose  first  and 
love  afterward,  there  would  not  be  the  unhappy  homes  there  are 
today.  She  would  tell  me  of  the  magnetic  power  she  could  feel 
when  he  would  take  her  hand.  I  knew  she  thought  this  was  love. 
I  had  made  up  my  mind  to  find  out  how  much  of  thi-s  power  he  pos- 
sessed. The  same  afternoon  he  came  up  to  the  house.  It  was  rain- 
ing and  he  could  not  play  ball.  He  sat  down  on  the  couch,  and  I 
sat  down  by  the  side  of  him,  remarking :  "L — ,  let  me  read  your 
hand.  I  know  a  little  about  palmistry."  I  had  Ruby  come  and 
sit  down  by  his  side  and  compared  their  hands.  I,  too,  could  feel 
that  wonderful  magnetic  power  that  he  possessed,  which  was  rare 
for  his  age.  Looking  up  at  me  he  said :  "Mamma  Peterson,  I  do 
not  know  which  I  like  the  best,  you  or  Ruby."  His  expressing  him- 
self in  that  way  fully  convinced  Ruby  that  it  was  not  a  deep,  sin- 
cere love,  but  just  this  magnetic  influence.  I  knew  he  loved  her 
with  the  pure,  true,  sincere  love  of  a  friend,  but  not  with  that  deep 
soul-love  belonging  to  two  souls  God  has  intended  to  be  one.  How 
could  they?  It  was  impossible  when  they  were  nothing  but  chil- 
dren, without  experience  or  knowledge  to  aid  them  in  considering 
the  seriousness  of  such  a  union.  Remember,  my  boy  and  girl  friend 
who  may  read  this  book,  it  is  only  the  deep  soul-love  that  stands  the 
test  of  married  life ;  without  it  we  find  discord,  sorrow  and  divorce. 
After  I  had  retired  that  evening,  I  had  prayed  but  a  few  mcr- 
ments  when  I  heard  Ruby  coming  up  the  steps.  She  came  into  the 
room,  sat  down  on  the -side  of  the  bed,  and  asked  if  I  were  asleep. 
I  put  my  arms  around  her  and  kissed  her,  and  she  said :  "Mamma, 
am  I  still  your  baby?"  I  said:  "No,  sweetheart,  unless  you  do  will- 
ingly what  I  have  asked  you."  Without  a  moment's  hesitation  she 
replied:  "Mamma,  I  want  to  be  your  own  baby  girl.  I  have  given 
him  up  willingly  from  the  heart."  I  do  not  know  anything  that 
could  have  happened  that  could  make  me  rejoice  more  than  to  hear 
those  words,  for  I  knew  she  meant  it.  I  do  not  know  when  I  ever 
loved  the  child  with  such  a  desperate  love.  It  seemed  almost  like 
she  had  returned  from  the  dead.  We  could  feel  we  were  again 
united,  with  ;no  other  love  to  interfere.  No  words  could  express 
the  sweet  fellowship  that  existed  between  mother  and  daughter 
that  evening,  as  she  told  me  with  tears  in  her  eyes  of  her  sorrow, 
her  disappointment,  and  her  determination;  as  she  closed  her  eyes 
she  thanked  God  for  the  experience  and  the  patience  that  I  had 
had  with  her.  In  her  childish  way  she  told  me  that  she  thought 
the  boy  loved  her.  "But,  mamma,"  she  said,  "there  is  no  one  who 
loves  me  like  you  do."  With  these  words  she  closed  her  eyes  in 
sleep.  The  next 'morning,  I  took  her  on  my  lap  and  asked  her  if 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  439 

she  still  felt  as  she  did  last  evening.  "Yes,  mamma,  I  shall  never 
change,"  she  said.  "I  want  you  to  go  and  see  him  and  tell  him 
I  do  not  wish  to  see  him  for  six  months,  at  the  end  of  which  time 
I  will  tell  him  how  I  feel  toward  him."  I  was  (going  out  on 
Broadway  that  evening  to  call  on  a  sick  lady,  and  as  I  came  back 
I  stopped  at  his  home.  I  asked  L —  if  he  would  walk  up  to  the 
car  with  me,  as  I  wished  to  talk  with  him.  It  was  four  blocks  to 
the  car.  I  told  him  Ruby  had  sent  me,  saying  that  she  did  not  wish 
to  see  him  herself.  I  told  him  why.  He  readily  understood  what 
I  meant,  and  said:  "Mamma  Peterson,  I  can  stake  my  life  that  it 
is  all  off  with  me."  He  broke  down  completely,  and  we  wept  to- 
gether. I  advised  him  as  a  mother,  and  told  him  how  unhappy 
they  \vould  be  with  their  dispositions  so  different.  He  tried  to 
think  as  I  did.  I  told  him  I  would  pray  for  him,  and  if  God  spared 
his  life  he  would  see  the  day  he  would  thank  me  for  the  step  I 
had  taken,  to  prove  his  love  for  her. 

Ruby  is  twenty  now,  and  when  she  feels  this  magnetic  fellow 
ship  from  the  opposite  sex  she  realizes  that  it  is  a  natural  influence, 
but  not  love.  The  following  spring  she  finished  her  schooling.  She 
continued  her  musical  studies,  having  chosen  that  as  her  life  profes- 
sion, entering  the  College  of  Music  in  June.  She  is  now  studying 
with  the  best  teachers  in  instrumental  and  vocal  music  in  the  West. 
Four  years  have  passed,  and  she  thanks  God  and  her  mother  for  her' 
single  life.  She  has  no  desire  to  change  her  name  or  mode  of  liv- 
ing. My  prayer  is  that  God  will  enable  young  men  and  women  to 
look  at  life  as  a  serious  problem,  to  sit  down  and  count  the  cost. 
(Luke  14:28.)  To  count  the  cost  at  the  early  age  of  15.  Child 
and  parent  should  know  what  profession  or  trade  or  business  they 
are  adapted  to,  finding  the  gift  that  God  has  given  them,  and  be- 
ginning early  to  educate  and  mould  them  for  the  responsibilities  of 
life.  I  gave  my  daughter  the  choice  of  a  high  school  or  musical 
education  or  the  trade  of  a  milliner.  She  had  wonderful  tact  for 
trimming  hats.  I  wanted  her  to  learn  the  trade,  then  to  establish 
her  in  a  business  of  her  own.  Of  the  three  she  chose  music.  My 
husband  and  friends  thought  it  impossible  to  give  her  the  musical 
education  that  we  have.  Though  it  has  cost  much  money  I  know 
I  shall  never  regret  it.  God  never  gave  gifts  to  our  children  with- 
out desiring  them  to  be  educated  therein.  What  if  the  sacrifice  is 
great?  It  has  been  in  our  case.  But  I  have  been  rewarded  by  her 
teachers'  assurances  that  she  could  easily  make  an  artist  of  herself 
if  her  vocal  organs  recover  from  the  weakened  condition  caused 
by  her  bronchial' trouble  during  the  first  seven  years  of  her  life. 
Another  year  will  finish  her  course  as  a  teacher.  I  have  earned 
a  great  deal  of  money  from  magnetic  healing  which  I  have  usec 
to  assist  in  her  education.  I  should  have  turned  all  my  attention 


44°  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

to  this  work  of  relieving  the  sick  had  I  not  been  called  of  God  to 
preach  the  gospel.  Though  the  last  six  years  I  have  done  but  little 
public  work,  the  Lord  has  led  me  into  homes  and  given  me  a  won- 
derful experience  with  young  men  and  women.  Oh,  how  he  has 
let  me  into  secrets  of  our  young  people,  and  I  thank  God  I  have 
been  able  to  help  the  high  school  boy  and  girl  more  than  the  world 
will  ever  know !  Habits  and  secret  sins  that  would  rob  them  of 
their  reason  and  wreck  them  body  and  soul  "have  been  overcome. 
They  have  come  to  me  and  told  me  what  slaves  they  were  to  this 
sin.  With  God's  and  the  doctor's  help  many  have  been  delivered. 
Do  not  be  a  victim  to  any  of  these  habits.  Count  the  cost  and  see 
what  is  the  (price  you  are  paying  if  you  do  not  go  to  the  Son  of 
God,  who  came  to  deliver  you.  My  girl,  be  not  deceived.  Stand 
firm.  Remember  no  man  has  any  more  respect  for  a  girl  who  is 
not  a  perfect  lady  in  all  her  ways  toward  him  than  he  would  have 
for  a  yellow  dog  jn  the  alley.  This  is  a  rude  comparison,  but  a  true 
one.  He  is  looking  for  a  lady,  and  one  who  will  step  out  of  the 
way  causes  him  to  doubt.  If  you  will  be  influenced  by  him,  he  rea- 
sons, you  will  be  by  others,  and  he  wants  a  wife  who  cannot  be 
influenced.  Girls,  let  me  tell  you  a  story  of  one  of  the  sweetest  wom- 
en I  ever  met.  She  had  not  been  rightly  informed  by  her  mother,  and 
nothing  but  a  bitter  experience  would  teach  her  how  to  deal  with 
•  the  bne  she  intended  should  be  her  companion  through  life.  He 
would  make  her  promises  with  an  earnestness  that  would  almost 
convince  an  angel.  She  found  out  when  it  was  too  late  that  his 
promises  were  not  to  be  depended  on.  This  experience  went  on  for 
over  a  year.  I  saw  she  would  be  in  her  grave  or  the  asylum  if 
something  was  not  done,  so  one  evening  I  proposed  that  she  send 
for  him.  I  would  be  there,  and  when  he  came  into  the  room  she 
was  to  lock  the  door.  I  would  see  he  *did  not  take  the  key  from 
her,  and  she  must  wait  until  I  said  to  unlock  the  door.  When  he 
came  to  realize  where  he  was  at  he  clinched  his  fists  and  demanded 
that  she  let  him  out.  I  said  he  must  first  tell  you  whether  he  will 
marry  you  or  not.  He  sprang  across  the  room  like  a  cat,  climbing 
upon  a  chair  in  an  effort  to  get  over  the  transom.  He  saw  he  could 
not,  and  cried  aloud  to  the  landlady.  At  this  juncture  I  said  to  him: 
"My  brother,  you  had  better  save  your  breath,  for  we  have  already 
informed  the  landlady  not  to  be  surprised  if  we  keep  you  here  until 
morning."  He  realized  we  had  him.  It  made  him  more  desperate, 
and  he  again  clinched  his  fist  and  demanded  the  key.  "He'll  stay 
here  a  week,  or  he  will  tell  you  what  he  intends  to  do,"  I  remarked. 
He  walked  up  and  down  the  floor  in  deep  thought  a  moment,  then 
said:  "If  I  had  something  to  do  it  with  I  would  break  everything 
in  this  room."  "Brother,  there  is  a  chair,"  I  suggested.  "Go  ahead ; 


TRYING   TO    ESCAPE   THROUGH   THE   TRANSOM 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  441 

you  have  money  enough  to  pay  for  what  is  in  this  room,  and  perhaps 
a  free  ride  to  the  city  hall."  He  again  resumed  his  walk,  when  I 
remarked :  "Walk  on,  brother ;  walking  is  good  for  you."  He  was 
white  with  rage.  By  this  time  over  an  hour  had  elapsed.  I  began 
to  wonder  if  he  would  keep  us  till  morning,  when  he  inquired : 
"What  are  you  going  to  do  with  me?"  "We  are  going  to  keep  you 
here  until  you  set  the  day  to  marry  this  woman,  or  tell  her  that  you 
will  not,"  he  was  informed.  Again  he  walked  the  floor,  and  again 
he  climbed  upon  the  chair  in  a  vain  effort  to  get  through  the  tran- 
som. But  the  transom  was  too  narrow,  and  he  sprang  from  the  chair 
to  the  middle  of  the  room.  Pounding  his  fists  together,  he  shouted: 
"I  will  never  marry  her!"  J  rose  to  my  feet,  saying:  "Now,  brother, 
that  is  what  we  have  been  waiting  for."  He  demanded  that  we  let 
him  out,  and  turning  to  her  asked  for  the  key.  She  would  look  at 
him  and  then  at  me,  inquiringly.  "Not  yet,"  I  said.  "I  don't  see 
why  we  should  let  you  go  until  you  pay  her  the  $5  which  you 
borrowed.  What  shall  we  do  about  it,  sister?  If  he  doesn't  pay, 
shall  we  hold  him  up  for  his  watch?"  He  put  his  hand  over  his 
watch  and  said:  "Don't  you  think  you  are  going  to  get  my  watch 
tonight."  His  eyes  flashed  with  anger.  I  just  took  this  tact  to 
see  what  he  would  say  about  the  $5.  To  think  of  a  strong  man  tak- 
ing money  from  a  lone,  delicate,  helpless  woman !  Which  of  the 
two,  think  you,  suffered  the  most  in  this  experience?  You  would 
say  she  was  the  strongest,  considering  how  much  more  she  was 
bearing  than  he.  I  think  she  was  the- stronger  of  the  two  in  spirit, 
had  she  known  her  power.  O  woman,  do  not  wilt  like  a  cabbage 
leaf  in  the  hot  July  sun!  'Be  firm,  and  do  right,  and  God. will  bless 
you  and  men  will  respect  you.  Bancroit  Lib] 

"Now  let  him  out,"  I  suggested ;  "but  remember  my  man,  you 
will  not  get  off  so  easy  next  time."  I  had  already  threatened  him 
with  the  police,  but  he  thought  I  was  like  other  women,  and  I  would 
threaten,  but  not  be  found  doing.  As  he  went  down  the  steps  talk- 
ing through  his  teeth,  for  his  teeth  were  as  tight  as  his  fists,  he  mut- 
tered :  "I'll  get  even  with  you."  I  did  not  know  how  he  intended 
to  do  it,  unless  it  would  be  an  anonymous  letter  to  Mr.  Peterson,  pr 
some  falsehood.  But  it  was  neither.  I  prayed  God  to  protect  me, 
for  I  knew  I  was  right  in  standing  by  this  lone  woman.  To  my  sur- 
prise, I  met  him  on  the  street  the  other  day,  and  he  raised  his  hat 
and  smiled.  I  knew  then  he  held  nothing  against  me,  and  that  I  had 
nothing  in  my  heart  but  love  and  pity  for  him.  He  never  bothered 
either  of  us  again.  He  went  his  way  and  she  married  as  kind  and 
loving  a  man  as  ever  lived.  He  was  one  of  those  good  men  who 
were  not  evil-minded.  Though  he  knew  her  trouble,  he  knew  she 
was  honest  and  true  and  that  he  could  trust  her.  This  was  several 


44^  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

years  ago,  and  they  are  still  living  happily  together.  I  know  other 
husbands  who  are  evil-minded,  and  they  do  .not  make  good  husbands. 
I  have  in  mind  three  families,  two  with  Christian  husbands, 
the  other  a  worldly  man.  There  was  more  real  worth  in  the  man 
of  the  world  than  in  both  of  the  men  of  the  church,  though  the  two 
men  prayed  and  asked  a  blessing  at  the  table.  But  they  were  pos- 
sessed of  carnrfl  minds.  I  will  tell  you  why.  All  three  came  to 
me  about  their  wives,  to  find  out  if  I  knew  anything  about  them.  Of 
course  I  would  not  have  told  them  if  I  did,  but  knew  nothing  against 
them.  I  tried  to  reason  with  the  two  Christian  men,  but  there  was 
no  reason  in  them.  They  were  determined  to  have  their  own  ideas 
about  it.  I  rebuked  them  harshly,  but  saw  that  would  only  make 
matters  worse.  Then  I  tried  another  way.  I  expressed  sympathy 
for  them  and  pitied  both  sides.  To  my  surprise  they  were  just  as 
free  to  make  love  to  me  as  if  we  had  been  single.  I  could  readily 
see  where  the  trouble  lay.  "Now  I  will  tell  you  what  I  am  going  to 
do,"  I  said.  "I  will  help  you  get  a  divorce.  When  you  are  ready  let 
me  know,  and  I  will  do  all  I  can."  His  eyes  opened,  and  such  a 
pleased  expression  lit  up  his  face.  "Now  listen,  and  I  will  tell  you 
what  we  will  do.  We  will  have  closed  doors  at  the  trial,  and  I  will 
tell  the  'court  just  how  you  made  love  to  me.  If  we  cannot  have 
closed  doors,  it  will  be  all  right  anyway.  I  will  sacrifice  anything 
necessary,  even  if  it  casts  a  shadow  upon  me.  For  the  sake  of  your 
children  I  am  willing  to  do  this,  and  I  think  when  we  are  through 
you  can  be  a  free  man  if  your  wife  is  willing."  I  could  mention 
several  others.  You  set  this  kind  of  a  trap  for  these  husbands 
and  you  will  catch  them  every  time.  The  worldly  man  haft  too  much 
respect  for  me  to  make  any  such  advances.  When  I  sym- 
pathized with  him  he  received  it  as  from  a  sister,  and  accepted  my 
advice.  He  listened  to  my  reasoning,  and  is  now  living  in  Arizona 
with  his  wife  and  children.  The  others  did  not  ask  me  to  assist  them 
in  getting  divorces,  but  are  living  with  their  families  happily  today. 
When  I  meet  them  on  the  street,  they  raise  their  hats,  though  a 
flush  mounts  their  cheeks  as  they  pass.  God  knows  how  I  love  those 
families,  and  how  he  used  me  as  an  instrument  in  keeping  them  to- 
gether. They  understand  one  another  better,  and  as  they  get  older 
they  will  see  it  was  best  to  live  together  in  this  life,  so  they  will  be 
able  to  spend  eternity  together.  If  you  deal  with  people  on  their  own 
grounds,  using  kindness  and  gentleness,  you  will  be  able  to  help 
them  both  in  this  life  and  in  the  life  to  come.  I  do  not  believe  in 
separations.  I  know  there  is  not  a  man  and  woman  living  together 
without  something  on'both  sides  that  calls  forth  all  the  patience  each 
possesses.  I  do  not  believe  in  one  doing  all  the  burden-bearing,  for 
God  says  everyone  shall  bear  his  own  burden,  and  with  patience. 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  443 

In  speaking  of  my  own  husband's  imperfections,  I  do  it  with  the 
greatest  respect  for  him,  knowing  I,  too,  have  imperfections.  Of 
course,  I  want  my  way  and  he  wants  his,  and  we  have  it,  for  after 
twenty-five  years  of  married  life  we  have  found  that  each  one  is 
entitled  to  his  own  way  concerning  personal  matters.  He  is  stub- 
born, and  I  am  willful,  but  we  intend  to  end  our  life  togther,  and 
by  the  grace  of  God  we  will  meet  in  heaven.  And  best  of  all,  we- 
have  lived  for  the  past  two  years  a  perfect,  peaceful,  Christian  life. 
Someone  may  say,  why,  then,  not  pass  over  these  imperfections,  and 
say  nothing  about  them.  I  would,  if  I  could,  but  people  will  not  let 
me.  Only  a  few  weeks  ago  a  good  woman  and  a  Christian  whom  1 
love,  came  to  me  and  <said  she  could  not  live  a  Christian  life  any 
longer;  that  she  was  compelled  to  give  it  up.  I  asked  her  why.  Stn 
undid  her  collar,  saying:  "See  my  neck,  Sister  Peterson,  and  then 
tell  me  if  you  could  be  a  Christian?"  My  heart  went  out  to  her  as  I 
saw  the  prints  of  her  husband's  fingers  on  her  neck,  where  he  had 
choked  and  struck  her.  I  said:  "Lord,  I'll  tell  her."  I  did.  "Well," 
she  said,  "Sister  Peterson,  if  you  can  live  a  Christian  life  I  can  too." 
I  never  was  tempted  once  in  the  last  twenty  years  to  leave  my  hus- 
band. God  will  give  us  all  the  spirit  of  endurance,  if  we  ask  him, 
I  assured  her,  adding  that  the  time  would  come  when  she  would 
thank  God  if  she  would  do  as  I  advised.  We  knelt  down  and  prayed, 
asking  God  to  take  all  bitterness  out  of  her  heart,  and  to  let  nothing 
but  love  there  reign.  The  husband  was  not  a  drinking  man,  but 
when  angry  had  no  control  of  his  temper,  and  was  more  to  be  pitied 
than  blamed.  A  blow  from  the  hand  does  not  last  long,  but  a  blow 
from  the  tongue  lasts  always. 

Of  the  hundreds  I  have  helped,  both  spiritually  and  temporally, 
there  are  only  seven  who  ever  tried  to  injure  me.  Two  men  and 
two  women  tried  to  injure  me  with  their  tongues.  Of  the  other 
three,  one  was  a  hold-up,  another  an  ex-convict,  while  the  third  is 
what  they  call  a  "city  vag."  One  broke  into  my  house,  as  I  was  tell- 
ing ,you ;  the  ex-convict  stole  85  cents,  while  the  "city  vag"  got 
drunk,  came  to  the  house,  and  because  I  would  not  continue  to  help 
him,  struck  me.  The  seven  were  all  persons  I  had  refused  to  do 
more  for.  God  says  if  we  will  not  work  we  shall  not  eat.  The  one 
I  helped, the  most  reciprocated  by  saying  the  meanest  things  about 
me  and  stole  my  watch.  When  I  told  him  I  had  put  the  matter  in  the 
hands  of  the  police,  though  not  knowing  for  certain  that  he  had  taken 
the  watch,  he  confessed  and  I  forgave  him.  It  was  fear  that  caused 
him  to  confess,  but  .he  never  did  confess  the  wrong  he  did  by  talk- 
ing about  me.  That  is  something  people  will  not  confess.  The 
drunken  man  who  struck  me  confessed  his  sin  and  I  forgave  him. 
By  forgiving  him,  I  did  him  more  good  than  a  hundred  sermons 


444  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

would  have  done.  It  caused  him  to  see  himself  as  he  was,  and  God 
gave  me  the  kindness  that  convicted  him  of  sin.  From  that  day  to 
this  he  has  lived  a  good  life.  I  received  a  letter  a  year  ago  from 
him,  in  which  he  assured  me  he  was  all  right  and  doing  well. 

CHAPTER    XXVII. 

ADDITIONAL  WORDS   TO  YOUNG  PEOPLE  ON   PLEASURES. 

The  majority  of  young  people  today  do  not  value  the  great 
privileges  and  opportunities  that  are  theirs  in  getting  an  education 
or  learning  a  profession.  They  do  not  always  save  their  money  to 
go  into  business  after  learning  a  trade,  so  they  might  get  started 
well  early  in  life.  Start  right  and  it  is  much  easier  to  live  right  and 
end  right.  Business  before  marrying  should  be  the  watchword,  not 
marrying  and  then  business,  lest  your  end  will  be  a  big  family,  with 
nothing  to  educate  them,  or  start  them  out  in  life  as  they  should  be 
started. 

The  question  has  often  been  asked  me,  "Should  young  people 
have  pleasure  outside  of  the  church  and  Sunday  school  ?"  Yes.  If 
I  read  the  word  of  God  with  understanding  it  sanctions  it.  We 
should  see  that  our  children  are  temperate  in  all  things.  There 
should  be  a  line  drawn  between  the  young  people  of  the  church  and 
the  young  people  of  the  world.  God  says  in  St.  John  21:18:  "I 
say  unto  thee,  When  thou  wast  young,  thou  girdest,  thyself,  and 
walkedst  whither  thou  wouldest:  but  when  thou  shalt  be  old,  thou 
shalt  stretch  forth  thy  hands,  and  another  shall  gird  thee,  and  carry 
thee  whither  thou  wouldest  not."  Eph.  4:14:  "That  we  henceforth 
be  no  more  children  tossed  to  and  fro,  and  carried  about  with  every 
wind  of  doctrine."  I  Cor.  13:11 :  "When  I  was  a  child,  I  spake  as  a 
child,  fl  understood  as  a  child,  I  thought  as  a  child :  but  when  I 
became  a  man,  I  put  away  childish  things."  This  plainly  shows  God 
does  not  expect  a  child  to  see  as  does  a  grown  person  in  temporal 
things,  and  it  is  not  always  that  they  can  see  in  spiritual  things.  By 
being  too  strict,  there  is  danger  of  discouraging  them.  I  never  re- 
fused Ruby  jgoing  to  parties  at  the  homes  of  her  friends.  It  was 
not  long  until  she  tired  of  this  childish  pleasure.  I  always  let  her 
go  to  an  opera  or  a  good  play.  Soon  this  pleasure  lost  its  fascina- 
tion. Her  father  would  accompany  her,  or  we  would  get  tickets  for  a 
girl  friend.  She  never  went  but  what  I  tried  to  show  her  how 
foolish  it  was  to  spend  her  money  for  pleasure  when  she  could  use 
it  in  so  many  ways  that  would  be  a  benefit  to  her  all  her  life.  I 
always  quoted  this  passage  of  scripture  to  her :  "Why  do  you  spend 
money  for  that  which  is  not  bread?" 

At  the  age  of  17  the  young  people  wanted  Ruby  to  attend  card 
parties.  I  ,said :  "Ruby,  you  know  my  heart.  I  would  rather  you 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE      ROUGH  445 

would  not  go.  It  is  simply  wicked.  There  is  pleasure  enough  for 
young  people  in  this  age  that  is  not  harmful ;  that  will  not  teach  them 
to  gamble,  drink,  and  worse — even  to  their  ruin.  There  is  skating, 
riding,  simple  games  which  are  fascinating  and  wholesome."  Think 
of  the  lives  that  have  been  lost — the  broken-hearted  and  hungry 
children — from  cards!  She  can  attend  a  party  where  there  arc 
cards  and  say:  "No,  this  pleasure  is  against  my  religion."  The  ball 
room  is  another  pleasure  I  forbade  her.  In  fact,  she  now  has  no 
desire  for  the  ball  room.  I  spoke  in  a  very  plain  manner,  showing 
her  it  was  a  trap  of  the  devil.  The  harm  is  caused  from  the  mag- 
netic influence  that  leads  to  lust  and  ruin. 

CLEANLINESS    NEXT   TO   GODLINESS. 

Purity  and  cleanliness  is  next  to  godliness.  Girls,  keep  your 
dresser-drawers  and  your  hair  ribbons  clean  and  tidy.  Everything 
.  in  the  house  should  be  moved  once  a  week,  swept  thoroughly  and 
dusted.  Do  not  wear  a  dress  with  grease  spots  upon  It.  Rub  the 
spot  well  with  gasoline  and  dip  the  whole  skirt  and  you  will  have  a 
clean  dress.  Gasoline  should  always  be  used  in  the  open  air. 
Wash  your  ribbons  and  delicate  shawls  in  ox-gall  soap  with 
no  soda  in  the  water.  Always  get  taffeta  ribbon,  which  washes 
well.  When  God  uses  /me  as  an  instrument  in  saving  a  soul,  the 
first  thing  I  think  of  is  if  the  outside  is  clean  as  well  as  the  soul. 
Once  while  kneeling  in  a  prayer  meeting,  just  across  the  aisle  from 
me  knelt  a  young  convert.  He  could  not  have  been  more  than  25. 
I  was  attracted  by  the  glazed  shirt  collar.  As  I  wondered  what  I 
should  do  for  him,  I  was  surprised  by  seeing  the  unmistakable  signs 
of  a  lack  of  cleanliness.  I  thought  of  the  public  bathhouse  Parson  Uz- 
zell  is  going  to  build  in  connection  with  his  church,  and  wished  it  was 
ready.  My  next  thought  was,  shall  I  take  him  home  with  me,  as  I 
have  others  for  eighteen  years,  and  get  him  clean  clothes 
and  wash  the  ones  he  has.  "Dear  Lord,"  I  said,  "you  know  I  am 
not  able."  I  had  rheumatism  in  my  arms  until  I  could  hardly 
do  my  own  work,  and  I  asked  -God  to  help  him  fight  on,  as  I  could 
not  help  him  in  the  bodily  condition  he  was  in,  as  I  had  with  the 
spiritual  enemy  of  his  soul.  What  most  touched  my  heart  was 
that  I  knew  he  was  hungry.  The  deathly  pale,  pinched  expression 
upon  his  cheek  told  the  story.  The  brother  finished  his  prayer.  I 
rose  from  where  I  was  kneeling,  sat  down  by  his  side,  and  asked 
him  where  he  boarded.  He  said,  as  he  dropped  his  head,  he  had  no 
boarding  place.  I  relate  this  incident  in,  closing  my  book,  to  let  you 
know  what  I  intend  to  do  with  much  of  the  money  from  its  sale — 
help  men,  women  and  children,  is-soul  and  body.  I  simply  cannot 
carry  on  this  kind  of  work  without  money.  As  you  read  this  book, 


446  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

remember  the  money  you  paid  for  it  is  doing  someone  good.  With 
money  and  love,  with  a  shake  of  the  hand  and  a  smile  and  a  kiss, 
let  us  pass  through  this  world  with  the  purpose  of  helping  our  fel- 
low man ! 

CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

CONCLUSION. 

IN  the  beginning  of  the  present  year,  1905,  the  Holy  Spirit  began 
to  strive  with  me  every  morning  in  regard  to  publishing  my  book 
%  I  had  lain  it  away  five  years  before.  I  knew  when  the  time  came 
he  would  let  me  know.  The  money  was  forthcoming  with  little  effort. 
I  prayed  God  to  let  me  know  in  some  way  who  he  desired  to  pub- 
lish my  book.  I  inquired  of  several  friends  and  got  little  satisfac- 
tion. So  one  sunny  afternoon  I  started  out  to  see  what  I  could 
do.  My  heart  was  lifted  to  God  from  the  time  I  left  my  door  until 
I  was  positive  I  had  found  the  right  place.  I  was  going  up  Six- 
teenth street,  Denver's  .busiest  thoroughfare.  I  made  up  my  mind 
to  look  in  the  city  directory  and  make  up  a  list  of  names  of  printing 
and  publishing  houses  to  call  upon.  Then  I  said,  "No,  I  will  go  into 
the  first  one  I  see."  But  I  had  no  more 'than  made  up  my  mind  to 
this  course  when,  like  a  flash,  the  thought  came  to  me,  "You  ask 
Lawyer  Spangler."  I  had  not  dreamed  of  going  to  a  lawyer  to  find 
a  publisher,  but  I  said :  "Yes,  Lord,  I  will."  I  knew  the  thoughts 
came  from  him,  because  there  is  such  a  singular  feeling  comes  with 
the  thoughts  the  Lord  gives  one.  There  is  something  so  inspiring 
comes  with  it.  A  few  moments  later  I  was  in  H.  W.  Spangler's  offices 
in  the  Cooper  building  and  had  told  him  what  I  wanted.  "Why,  Mrs. 
Peterson,"  he  said,  "I  know  just  the  house  you  want  to  consult  about 
your  work."  He  gave  me  a  card  of  introduction.  I  called  at  the 
office  of  The  Reed  Publishing  Company.  I  failed  to  see  the  manager, 
but  made  an  appointment  for  the  next  day  at  noon.  I  stopped  into 
several  of  the  most  important  printing  establishings  in  the  mean- 
time, but  did  not  feel  the  same  satisfaction  and  confidence  when  I 
entered  the  offices  of  the  others  as  I  did  in  Mr.  Reed's  office.  The 
next  morning  I  left  my  home  early  and  called  on  two  other  well- 
known  printing  firms  before  the  noon-hour,  anxious  that  the  lead- 
ing should  be  strong  and  decisive  before  finally  deciding.  The  same 
feeling  met  me  in  these  offices  as  before.  A  cold,  indifferent,  busi- 
ness-like manner,  without  that  apparent  grasp  of  the  situation  which 
betokens  knowledge  and  ability — nothing  friendly;  no  home-like  feel- 
ing. No  spirit  of  interest  taken  in  me  or  my  work.  I  wondered  if 
I  would  meet  the  same  indifferent^-  thoughtless  spirit  in  Mr.  Reed 
that  seemed  so  apparent  in  the  other  gentlemen.  I  was  convinced  in 
my  own  heart  that  I  would  not  from  the  general  influence  that  was 


OR,      SEEKING      DIAMONDS      IN      THE     ROUGH  447 

in  the  office.  I  knew  he  was  the  one  to  engage  for  an  undertaking 
so  important.  I  felt  that  I  had  known  him  for  months  before  I 
had  talked  with  him  twenty  minutes.  I  did  not  get  the  opportunity 
to  exchange  words  hardly  with  the  other  business  men.  They  were 
in  such  a  hurry.  Not  so  with  this  man.  He  seemed  to  be  willing  to 
take  sufficient  time  to  give  the  matter  in  hand  the  attention  it  re- 
quired. We  had  a  good,  friendly  chat.  I  thanked  him  for  the  time 
and  attention  he  had  taken  in  my  affairs,  assuring  him  how  I  appre- 
ciated it.  Bidding  him  the  time  of  day,  I  went  my  way,  thanking 
God  for  meeting  one  who  would  take  time  to  forget  his  own  in- 
terests to  consider  the  interests  of  others. 

If  we  only  could  realize  in  doing  for  others  we  do  for  ourselves ! 
It  all  comes  back  to  us,  with  double  interest.  Only  last  year  I  had 
the  privilege  of  looking  after  the  interest  of  a  young  girl  I  had  tried 
so  hard  seven  years  ago  to  redeem  from  her  fallen  condition.  In  a. 
measure  I  had  failed,  but  I  did  not  give  her  up.  One  day  the  door- 
bell rang.  I  answered  it.  Before  I  could  think  someone  had  me 
around  the  neck,  almost  choking  me  and  smothering  me  with  kisses. 
The  moment  I  looked  in  her  face  I  knew  she  was  living  a  better 
life.  She  told  me  she  was  not  the  bad  girl  she  was  the  last  time 
she  saw  me.  She  told  me  she  was  married.  The  next  evening  I 
prepared  a  dinner  for  her  and  her  husband,  praying  all  the  time 
God  would  help  my  labor  of  love  to  the  salvation  of  their  souls.  I 
knew  that  would  be  the  prayer  of  her  mother  if  she  were  living.  I 
was  trying  to  take  a  mother's  place  to  this  girl.  We  did  all  we'could 
to  give  them  a  pleasant  evening.  My  daughter  sang  and  played.  I 
knew  their  hearts  were  made  glad,  but  something  came  to  me  that 
made  me  feel  they  were  not  married.  I  asked  her  to  show  me  her 
certificate.  She  could  not.  She  told  her  husband  I  wanted  to  see 
the  marriage  certificate.  She  had  told  him  before  she  had  come 
to  the  city  what  I  had  done  for  her.  He  could  not  believe  her.  A 
preacher  would  not  care  for  the  likes  of  her,  he  said.  She  told 
him  that  he  did  not  know  "Mamma  Peterson."  The  kindness  I  had 
shown  her  reached  him,  and  he  sent  her  up  to  the  house  to  tell  me 
he  would  go  to  Golden  and  marry  her.  I  prepared  them  a  wedding 
dinner  on  their  return,  and  just  before  they  came  to  the  house  she 
said :  "Do  not  be  surprised  if  'Mamma  Peterson'  kisses  you  just  the 
same  as  she  does  me."  As  I  opened  the  door,  I  took  each  in  my 
arms  as  I  would  my  own  children,  telling  him  he  was  my  own  dear 
boy  now,  because  he  had  done  the  right  thing.  If  you  could  only 
have  seen  their  bright  faces, — just  like  two  children  who  had  pleased 
mother.  What  an  illustration  it  was  of  the  joy  of  doing  right!  I 
asked  God's  blessing  upon  them,  and  when  they  left  the  city  she  was 
a  converted  woman  and  he  deeply  under  conviction  that  he  ought 
to  live  a  better  life. 


448  THE      LONG-LOST      RACHEL      WILD 

Only  last  Christmas  morning,  two  lone  hearts,  in  a  little  room 
of  a  shanty  on  one  of  .the  alleys  of  our  city,  not  a  dollar  to  their 
name,  their  scanty  breakfast  spread  out  before  them,  thinking  of 
brighter  days  passed  and  gone.  '"There  are  many  happy  hearts  to- 
day," said  one;  "but  no  one  is  thinking  of  us,  not  even  'Mamma 
Peterson.' "  Then  silence  pervaded  the  dingy  place,  soon  to  be 
broken  by  the  writer  riding  up  to  the  door  on  a  wheel,  telling  them 
of  the  ride  of  over  an  hour  to  find  their  place,  and  urging  them  to 
come  up  to  the  house  and  have  Christmas  dinner  with  us.  Thus  two 
hearts  were  made  happy,  as  well  as  several  more  at  our  house,  yet 
some  will  say  we  do  not  receive  compound  interest  in  living  for 
others. 

I  expect  all  classes  and  nationalities  to  read  this  book.  Some 
will  criticise  it,  while  others  will  believe  it  and  be  helped  by  it.  There 
is  one 'class  that  will  reject  it.  They  are  spoken  of  in  the  word  of 
God  (Deut.  32:28)  :  "For  they  are  a  nation  void  of  counsel,  neither 
is  there  any  understanding  in  them."  At  the  2Qth  verse  of  the  same 
chapter :  "O,  that  they  were  wise,  that  they  understood  this,  that 
they  would  consider  their  latter  end !" 

Before  criticising  harshly  one  should  take  the  truth  and  the  good. 
Weigh  what  you  can  accept  with  what  you  feel  disposed  to  reject, 
and  see  if  the  former  will  not  outweigh  the  latter.  O  reader,  do  not 
wait  till  the  -time  comes  for  God  to  weigh  your  life  in  the  great  judg- 
ment scales,  and  you  hear  the  Judge  cry  out :  "Thou  art  weighed 
in  the  'balances,  and  art  found  wanting!" 


11'EIGHED    IX    THE    BALAXCE 


